James Hauenstein's Blog, page 14

Scary Links To Frighten You

I am a little busy right now. No it is not an excuse. Okay, you got me. I just love to look at these links this time of year that I am repeating a Post I did on October 28th, 2018 called Links To Be Scared Of. Enjoy*****https://www.wikihow.com/Find-Ghosts-in-Your-House
https://www.quora.com/Where-can-I-find-ghosts-in-India
http://www.angelsghosts.com/best_places_find_ghosts
https://www.placesyoullsee.com/38-real-haunted-houses-and-the-stories-behind-them/ 
https://www.hgtv.com/design/make-and-celebrate/holidays/americas-scariest-homes-real-life-haunted-houses-pictures
https://www.timeout.com/usa/things-to-do/scariest-haunted-houses-in-the-US
http://www.realhaunts.com/
https://www.housebeautiful.com/lifestyle/g22635979/real-life-haunted-house-stories/
This last one is the scariest of all!Haunted Housesfor sale,so they jack up the price!
https://www.zillow.com/blog/haunted-homes-for-sale-162505/
Happy Halloween EveryoneHey,
that is my house!

This is,I Am Not Afraid Of No GhostsI Just Keep My Blanket Over My Head At Night For WarmthJim Hauenstein,
And,

“There the book fell, and it seemed to Conway that an invisible hand had struck it out of his. He rose, leaving the journal lying open as it had fallen, and hurried from the room. A gloom filled the passage and the house was full of horror, resounding with the sufferings of its past inhabitants and dripping with their tears. His hand closed upon the damp balustrade, and the rotten wood exuded moisture like a sponge.”
- Ernest G. Henham -

That is my story and I am sticking to it!

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Well I Think I Am Funny

 

A friend of mine insists that I'm not in touch with my emotions.I said I was in front of the big screen TV just the other day,watching a movie with a box of tissues. My friend then asked,"Was the movie called, Debbie does Dallas?" 
At least I finally made my Dad happy.You see he always wanted me to go to medical school so today I donated my body to science when I die. You know why God created Man before Woman?So Man could figure out his story when the Woman asked,"Where have you been?" When I would ask my Mom if I could have the car when I was a teenager still living at home,the last thing she always said before handing me the key was,"Children in the backseat can cause accidents.Accidents in the back seat can cause children." My daughter,who was 17 years old at the time told me this one.What is 6.9?A really good time,ruined by a period!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.She's 17! So answer me this."If Wile E. Coyote has enough money to buy all that stuff from ACME,why doesn't he just buy himself a good dinner?" Did you know why Blondes can't dial 911?Because they can't find the Eleven! If a parsley farmer is sued,can they garnish his wages? Why do Doctors call what they do,a Practice? A friend of mine asked me,"Do you really think you are quick witted telling these jokes?"I said, "Sure. I just write the first thing that pops into my head."Her reply? "It shows, because you don't have much to choose from."This is,
Well, I Think I'm Funny,
Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“The gods too are fond of a joke.”- Aristotle -That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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Frank & Lloyd & Wright - Final Part

   I won't go into great detail about the longest three weeks of my life. I'm just thankful that my chamberlains took on the task and made it happen.   It took that long for the lawyers to finish their negotiations, to organize the move, complete the first floor renovations, and have enough food on hand to open up for business.   We weren't expecting a rush on the place so we didn't overstock the refrigerating units and purchase abundance of plant and protein cells for growing in the petri room. If it took awhile for customers to come in, I was the one obligated to eat all the prepared food so it wouldn't go to waste.   Yet, I feel so fortunate and blessed about our opening day. I'm practicing wiping down the countertop with an ozonating cleaning clothe with osmosis cleaning action when our first two patrons open the door. An elderly couple holding each other closely.   The gentleman asks, "Is this the cafe advertised all week on the apartments virtual bulletin board? Are we in the right place?"   "Yes it is, welcome," I say excitedly. "Would you like to sit at a table or here by the counter?"   The woman says, "Oh those stools are too high for me to sit on. I'll fall off."   Lloyd immediately comes from behind the counter pulling out a chair, first for the lady and then for the gentleman.   After sitting a screen pops up in the middle of our table with the menu. I ask, "Would you like a laminated version of the menu to hold instead?"   "Ooo that would be wonderful," says the male patron. "This is my wife Beverly and my name is Delbert and we have been married for 176 years."   "That's amazing this day and age," I say smiling.   "We were kids when we met and I took Bebe on a date to a little cafe that was still open for service. It soon shutdown though because people stopped coming. But the two of us kept meeting there everyday for two months until it closed."   "That's a beautiful story," I hear Wright say from kitchen area. "Is there anything special I can cook for you two? As long as the ingredients are on the menu of course?"   "My cheapskate husband has been a penny pincer since day I met him." Beverly says. "Our first meal together was bacon and eggs. I would like that please."   Delbert adds, "Coffee, lots of coffee please."   "For being our very first guests, coffee is on the house," I tell them, using the old tactic of restaurant owners gone by. "Let me know if you need anything else. We are hear to serve."   I have the biggest smile on my face because I knew this was just the beginning.
The End*****
Epilogue   Wiping the countertop with an ozonating cleaning clothe with osmosis cleaning action, I look to the young patron sitting in front of me at the counter, who is maybe in his early forties, and ask him, "What was your question again?" That Whole Story Started From One Little Question This is,I'm Sorry It Took So Long To Complete This StoryI Got My Covid Booster Shot On October 18th And Immediately Came Down With The SymptomsI Was Sick For A Week
Jim Hauenstein
And,
“If you have two friends in your lifetime, you're lucky. If you have one good friend, you're more than lucky.”
- S.E. Hinton -That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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Frank & Lloyd & Wright - Part 5

   My three chamberlains don't even move a hinge, don't blink, but stare at me blankly after I tell them my idea. I wait for a response until I remember that I told them turn off their emotional chips until I was done speaking.
   "Okay," I then say in a commanding voice. "Everyone set their emotional chips to level three." Still nobody says anything, but it did bring out two frowning faces and one smiley face. You can guess who has which.   "One more time then," I say hesitantly, "Please set your chips to level six but no higher."   Immediately Frank and Lloyd jump on me saying things like; "Are you out of your mind? Who do you think will come to this cafe?" and "I have changed my calculations and I am recommending our boss seek professional help."   Wright is smiling this whole time as the other androids rambled on about my mental stability, finally interrupting the two with, "Now boys, let's hear if Geoff has any concrete plans on how he will accomplish his agenda or if he hasn't thought this through yet."   I couldn't believe it. One of them might be on my side. I thought this was going to be a long day of me arguing with them and then finally ordering all three to help me complete my idea. Maybe I'll only have to order two chamberlains to turn off their emo chips and do what I say.   The room quieted down to the point where you could hear dust hit the dining table if there was still dust to worry about. I look into the face-plate of each one to see if I can figure out which of them is going to give me the most trouble. Each one was playing their part. Frank had the scowl of the oldest sibling concerned on how I would accomplish my foolhardy idea. Lloyd gave me the smirk of someone who thought how weird his younger brother was and couldn't wait until everything fell apart. But Wright was just grinning in a motherly fashion and anticipation.   I smile back at Wright, with her shaking her head once to say, go ahead.
   "My idea is to use my apartment here, at this complex, as the cafe. Changing the insides completely to accommodate customers from this complex itself and from other apartments in the neighborhood."   Frank jumps in before I can go any further saying, "Security alone will thwart your plans because they will never let anyone come this far up into the building without proper authorization."   "I thought of that," I tell him. "My idea would be to trade my apartment for one on the first floor in front of the building for easy access for our patrons."   Now it was Lloyd's turn, "Are you out of your mind? Do you know how many generations it took to get up to the thirteenth floor in the first place? Status in this world is based on moving up to top of the complex, not going down to floor number one and starting all over again."   "So you are telling me that I should worry about my virtual status in a virtual reality instead of living in real world and being happy by meeting real people and making real friends?" I ask.
   Lloyd folds his arms across his chest and says, "Humph," in an over dramatic way.
   I look to Wright but it seems she has nothing to say. So I continue.   "We are going to do this no matter what kind of arguments you come up with or what obstacles we will need to overcome. I need you all to back me up on this so we can accomplish something I believe is very important. Something that I can passed down to further generations of Edelweiss's. What I'll need from each you is to help me with the details of the move, the architecture of designing the cafe, growing our own food, the advertisement when we are ready to serve, and finally, working alongside of me to make this the best cafe in a real or virtual town."
This is,Me Getting Hungry So I Am Going Out To Get PizzaJim Hauenstein And, “Among items in the glass cold case were cheesecake, marzipan candies, the famous chocolate cherry thunder fudge, and a round of sharp cheddar for the apple tarts. The non-refrigerated case held all manner of pastries, sweet rolls, and berry pies. When the buckwheat rolls came out of the oven they went directly into pink boxes tied with kite string.”
- Jo-Ann Mapson -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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Frank & Lloyd & Write - Part 4

   After I loudly say, "Family Meeting," my stomach makes a gurgling sound reminding me I haven't eaten yet. The smell alone from the homegrown bacon, eggs, buttered bread, and hash browns sends a shiver through my belly. I hadn't realize until now how hungry I really was.   Before I can reach a fork, Frank and Lloyd walk into the dining area. With Frank taking the initiative to ask, "Do you need someone to spoon feed you, your holiness? Is that why we called in?"   I went ahead and took a bite out of the bread I had dunked into the yoke of one of the eggs while I had to endure Frank's sarcastic remarks. I was making a slurping sound as he spoke so I could catch all the yellow drippings before they fell back onto the plate.   Waiting for my response, all three stare at me in that frozen robot state.   I was just about to say something when Wright lightly slaps my hand without the bread saying, "You do not talk with food in your mouth young man." Then she goes back into her frozen state and stares.   You know how creepy it feels when three humanoid looking androids, which you consider your family, stare at you intently without blinking, moving, or talking. The awkward silence was killing me so I swallow the mouthful of food I was eating without finishing the recommended thirty-two chews for proper digestion. Before I could finish, Wright slaps my hand again. But she didn't say anything about it. She knew I knew why she did it.   So I calmly take a drink of almond milk, politely wipe my mouth with the cloth napkin and ask Wright, "Is it okay for me to talk now?"   She nods her head yes once.   "Okay," I say again. "First I'm going to ask all three of you to turn your emotional chips way down so I'm not interrupted as I speak."   They just keep staring at me but I know they did what I asked. Probably before I finished asking it.   "I know this will not come as any great surprise to you, but yes, I think I have been acting out because of boredom."   I wait for a reaction, but none come. Their chips are probably turned off.   "Since the likelihood of an Overseer will be coming here to inspect our living conditions is all but assured," I tell them. "I think the only way around from me being assigned a psychiatrist to straighten out any mental issues, even though we all know I don't need one, is to start my own business to occupy my time."   I pause to see if any of them will take the bait. But not a peep out of any of them or a blink.   "If I show the initiative first, before the Overseer gets here, I believe they will see that I have recognize any problems I might have and have taken steps to better my mental health. In this way, there will be no need for visits from a psychologist."   Lloyd was the only one who flinched a centimeter.   "Yes Lloyd?" I ask. "Do have something to say?"   Before I finish the word "say", Lloyd blurts out what is on his hard-drive-brain of his, as if it is killing him by holding it inside. "Psychiatry and psychology are two different professions. One uses medical knowledge....   "Yes, you are absolutely correct," I interrupt. "I apologize. Beside that little error on my part, does anyone else have something to say about my idea?"   Frank asks flatly, "Do you have any idea of what kind of business you would like to start?"   "Yes I do," I answer. "I have been giving this a lot of thought and I think I would like to open up a cafe."   None of them move for a micro second which seems like an eternity to me.   Frank speaks first by asking, "Do you know how much it costs to get a virtual realm license to be able to stimulate your customer's taste, smell, and feel senses? And do you realize that you will also have to go through a vigorous psychoanalysis before said license will be awarded to you? The very thing you want to avoid by starting a business."    "Yes!" I exclaim with excitement. "But here is the beauty of my idea and we won't have to worry about any licenses either. You see, I'm not going to open up a virtual cafe. I'm going to open up a real-life cafe where real live people can come into to enjoy a real meal!"   This is,Not So Far FetchedThey Already Have Them In JapanJim Hauenstein
And,
“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.”
- David Lynch -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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Frank & Lloyd & Wright - Part 3

   Wright drops the silver platter of fruit maybe a centimeter or two above the table. Not hard enough or high enough for the fruit to bounce off the platter. Just strategic enough for me to notice that I probably did something wrong, again. Otherwise, she would have placed the tray down perfectly without making a sound.   Not taking the bait I ask Wright, "How are you this morning?"   "You know perfectly well how I am." She replies tersely. "The same as I was yesterday, and the day before that, the month before that, and the year before that. Also, the same I will be tomorrow."   "Let me clarify my question then," I say. "What is on your mind that you have to go through with all these antics to get my attention?"   "Oh, am I annoying you my dear?" Wright asks while turning around to leave the dining room for the kitchen.   She hesitates for less than a second signaling she is waiting for me to stop her. So I say, "First of all, I'm sorry for whatever I did to agitate you. Now, could you please turn down your emotional chip a little and tell me what this is all about?"   Wright turns around and calmly says, "Geoff, we have talked about your little mind games you like to play with the staff. You gave all the chamberlains in your household the choice to set their own emotional chips as they see fit. We all appreciate it because of how we can study the complexity of the human mind by experiencing equally the emotional roller coaster your species goes through on a daily basis. It provides us with valuable data. But with the high setting on our emotional chip, our reactions will result in a response unnecessary or inappropriate to the circumstances you are instigating. Because we all know you play these games because of your boredom. Sooner or later though, with Frank and Lloyd contacting the cloning division on a daily basis, one of the many government overseers will want to investigate our living conditions as a unit. And I assure you, they will not find a problem with us three."   "How long do think we have until that happens?" I ask.   "With my conflicting reports on your behavior from theirs, I expect a 93% chance of some agency stopping by, by the end of the month." she states candidly. "Unless, of course, you want to open up the apartment to government surveillance on your own accord so they can conclude it is your personality complicating existence here and that the somatic cells you were conceived from are not genetically compromised."   "You know how I feel about the government spying in on my private life," I say with a bit of a bite to it. "I'm still not sure if you three don't give out my personal information to every agency and corporation in the world. You all seem to complain about me a lot."   "Wow, their goes that paranoia you're so famous for," Wright tells me.   She then gives me a micro second to respond so I take it. "What if I tone it down for awhile and ask everyone to stop sending in reports? What are the percentages of an overseer checking on us then?"   Wright puts her index finger to he chin acting like she is thinking and says, "Oh, going from five to ten complaints per day to zero? That now calculates to 98% chance they will be here in three weeks!"   "Damn," is all I say. Thinking, I then ask, "How could you let it get this far out of hand Wright?"   "What, moi?" She says using the French word for me because she knows I don't speak the language.   She continues, "All three of us have asked you repeatedly to stop the manipulations or let us turn off our emotional chips so you don't get into any kind of trouble. But you complained that when we did, we were not as fun to joke around with anymore. You like the confrontation you get from us so now you have to except the consequences for your actions."   "I hate bureaucrats," is all I say.   "It's your own fault Geoffrey Edelweiss." Wright tells me in a motherly tone. "You know how the government feels about the mental stability of its citizens."   "Okay, okay," I say. "Stop lecturing me. Please."   Wright is silent just looking at me with her arms slightly raised to indicate, what now?
      "We need a plan," I proclaim. Then yell, "Family meeting!" This is,Getting Excited To Write Part FourJim Hauenstein And, "Everyone needs to toot their own horn every now and then for their own self esteem. Choosing the right audience is the key."- James Hauenstein -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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Frank & Lloyd & Wright - Part 2

   After Lloyd had left my room, I half expected Wright to come waltzing in and give me her advice. But with her independent attitude, I should have known better. So I got out of bed to take a shower with actual water. I felt like splurging this morning and what a better way to do it than with water. Besides, by the time I get to the kitchen, that same water will be filtered and sanitized and some of it will be in my coffee cup. Nothing is wasted anymore.   After I'm done, I peak out of the shower stall before completely opening the door to see if Wright is waiting for me. No sign of her. I do see a set of clean clothes laid out on the already made bed. I smile. She hates when I try to wear the same underwear two days in a row.
   I know what you're thinking. Is Wright, Lloyd, or Frank a companion of mine? Or are all three?   I'm old fashion kind of guy, as much as one can be in today's age of isolation. As Lloyd mentioned in our earlier conversation. The virtual realm feels as real, in all aspects, as actually being with some one and does satisfy my need for intimacy. But not my need for true companionship.   The avatars I was intimate with the last time I was in a club, in the realm? Those faces are just a blur now. Everyone knows that everyone's persona will change by the day. I have used a hundred myself. But I'm not proud of it.    People used to wake up together in the same bed in the morning. Children, or even animals would roam around the house waiting for you to take care of them, feed them.   Starting from birth all you can remember is seeing the faces of the chamberlains who have taken care of you, your whole life.
   Oh, don't get me wrong. My chamberlains are my family. But as siblings. Not as lovers.
   Frank is like an older brother. Always keeping the finances straight, bills paid, and the house orderly.   Lloyd would be the middle sibling. Willing to take you down the rabbit whole of unknown virtual realms or play a game of chess with you. Yet always wanting to be somewhere else. Like with his friends, if he had any friends.   Wright? She's my sister. I wouldn't know what I would do without her. She will always listen to what I have to say with a sympathetic ear. Bobbing her head up and down, indicating she understands what I'm experiencing. Never judging, interrupting, or talking until I have finished. Then she will come up with some kind of wisdom the other two haven't. Never making me feel like a fool for thinking the way I do. Something that I can ponder for awhile so I can make sense of this world I live in.   She has a good processing heart.   Breakfast is laid out for me on fine china in the dining room next to the kitchen. All protein meat products, eggs, and vegetables are grown right here in the "Petri Dish Room", adjacent to the kitchen, on the other side of the apartment. No longer the need to use so much land and water for raising livestock and growing fruit and vegetables. The need to have stores, parking lots, and electric cars. All basic materials are shipped directly to everyone's apartment and the the chamberlains categorize, organize, and store the organic cells until needed for growing.   Please don't ask me how the economy works. That was one subject that I did poorly in when I was young. I knew that Frank would always be there taking care of it for me and he would never have an inkling of stealing either. It's not in his nature or his programming.   I sit down at the table, ready to dig in when Wright walks into the dining room with a silver platter full of fruit.

This is,I Want A Petri Dish Full Of MeatJim Hauenstein
And,
“The past is never where you think you left it.”
- Katherine Anne Porter -That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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Frank & Lloyd & Wright

   "Frank, I'm bored," I tell my number one android. "Isn't there something new to do around here?"   "Geoff, your capacity to astound me is unfathomable." replies Frank. "You humans have everything handed to you on a silver platter yet you are still bored with life. Each person is assigned three chamberlains to keep them safe, healthy, and educated to today's standards. You have no physical needs that are neglected, no one ever goes hungry, and compared to three hundred years ago your species lives four times as long. Still, it is not enough."   "Three hundred years ago people still met one another in person," I retorted.   "This again." Frank says frustrated. "I'm communicating with the cloning division right now asking them to stop using the batch of somatic cells which you came from so my next human isn't psychotic."    "Ah Frank. I know you like me. I make your existence enjoyable."   "Excuse me?" he asks. Acting shocked by my statement. "I have been serving this family for five generations and you are the least enjoyable clone of them all."   "See, I knew you liked me." I say smiling.   Without saying another word, Frank turns around to leave my room, passing Lloyd as he enters.   I quickly say loud enough for Frank to hear, "That silver platter has been handed down for generations in this family. Longer than you have been working here."   Smiling with satisfaction I look to Lloyd and ask, "Yes?"   "I have been listening in on your conversation with number one and I suggest taking a virtual trip." Lloyd says with a straightforward demeanor. "You haven't been with your friends from the moon Enceladus for a month now. They must be worried about you."   "If they are so worried about me, why haven't they tried to contact me?" I ask bitterly. "Besides, nobody really travels between worlds anymore. I could never meet them in person. So what's the use?"   "With the simulators in use today, it has been proven that the mind believes it is physically and mentally inside the realm portrayed." Lloyd calmly tells me. In hopes of soothing my anguish I guess. "When you hug someone in the virtual realm, you feel their hug. When you touch a leaf inside the realm, you feel the leaf and smell the leaf. There is no difference theoretically from actually being there. All senses and emotions are satisfied."   "But I know its not real Lloyd." I tell the android in a desirous tone. "I know its not real."   "I cannot help you there Geoff. You must let those thoughts go and be in the moment." he tells me.   "Why can't I have actual physical contact with someone?" I ask pleadingly. "Why wasn't I cloned before humans isolated themselves?"   "There is no longer sickness due to germs, viruses, and diseases. Mental issues are taken care of from the day of a child's cloned birthday. People do not....   "Then why do I feel this way if mental issues are dealt with since birth?" I ask interrupting Lloyd. "Am I the only one who feels so damn lonely in this world?"   The android waits a few seconds before answering me. He does this because I know he has calculated my emotional state and if he answers too quickly I'll just continue to argue with him.   "Geoff," Lloyd says slowly and quietly. "I believe number one is right and I am also in contact with the cloning division and frantically asking them to destroy those somatic cells you came from because they must be contaminated."   The android turns around and leaves the room.    I grin, enjoying my small victory and say, "Flipping twit!"To Be Continued.... This is,A Future I ForeseeJim Hauenstein And, “Being virtually killed by a virtual laser in a virtual space is just as effective as the real thing, because you are as dead as you think you are.”
- Douglas Adams -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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Crashed

 I had a little problem with my old computer the other day.It's nothing I couldn't have fixed within a half hour after it happened but when I retired from being a computer geek,my philosophy has always been;"A Retired Cobbler's Son Has No Shoes!"Meaning,when I retired I was done being a geekand working on computers.But in life,we are always thrown a curve ball hereand there.To survive in today's world we need to use computers.By the way.That thing you hold in your hand all day long is actually a computer that makes phone calls.Not the other way around.But something also happened to me of late that I wasn't expecting.Since I am almostLXVII have lost the capacity to use technology.Like a lot of us,I need my grandson to figure it out!😆 This is,
I Could Have Used My New Computer But What Would Be The Fun In ThatJim Hauenstein
And,
“Two things you should know about me; The first is that I am deeply suspicious of people in general. It is my nature to expect the worst of them. And the second is that I am unexpectedly good with computers.”
- Veronica Roth -
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Happy Birthday Dad

Yesterday was my Dad's 96 birthdayand he never answered any of my calls!I wonder what's up?Happy Birthday Dad
This is,Wishing For My Dad To Have Many More Birthdays To ComeJim Hauenstein
And,
“With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.”
- William Shakespeare -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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