James Hauenstein's Blog, page 125
June 16, 2016
June 14, 2016
I Am Now A Contributing Member Of Society
OK,so I have been away from my computer for awhile.Can you blame me?We all need a break once in awhile from the grind of everyday life.Even though I have,what you would call,as an easy life!I get to sit around all day,writing on my Blogwatching my kidsand grandkids grow up.It doesn't get any better than that.I do have a little story I would like to tell you.My Dad,who will be 91 years old this coming September, told me I could comeand stay at his apartment the first day when I arrived into town while on my vacation.He lives in a55 & Older Apartment Complex.He told me that we would be able to sneak me in and out of the complex,
in the morning,
without anyone being the wiser.I guess residents can't have guest sleep over in this complex.So I come rolling up to his place around two-thirty a.m. local time.I wake him upand he lets me into his apartment.What I didn't tell him is,
that while I was driving to Wisconsin from California,in Iowa,a deer jumped out in front of meand I hit the poor thing with my daughter's car.
Since I came into town so late in the night,I was exhausted.So I slept until eleven-thirty in the morning that first day.Before I had awaken,theApartment Managerwas told that there was an abandon car in the visitor's parking lot,all smashed up.So she called the Police.Luckily for me,a friend of my Dad's was downstairs at theManger's Officeat the same time the Police arrived.She told them thatDelbert Hauensteinhad a son coming in from Californiaand that it was my car.The Police ran the platesand confirmed that it belonged to aHauenstein.So,not only was I not able to sneak out of the apartment complex in the morning,on my first day in town,the Police had to be called because of me.My family had a real good laugh about it saying,"Just like the old days, before you moved to California Jim. The Police had to be called about something you did."I'm sure the55 & Older Communitywill be talking about this one for months.What else do they have to do?Except to gossipand play cards.
This is,I Am Not The Trouble Maker I Was In My Youth,I Am Now A Contributing Member Of Society,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“You couldn't be satisfied with being an amateur asshole, could you, Jimbo! You had to go and turn pro on me!”
- Susan Elizabeth Phillips -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
in the morning,
without anyone being the wiser.I guess residents can't have guest sleep over in this complex.So I come rolling up to his place around two-thirty a.m. local time.I wake him upand he lets me into his apartment.What I didn't tell him is,
that while I was driving to Wisconsin from California,in Iowa,a deer jumped out in front of meand I hit the poor thing with my daughter's car.
Since I came into town so late in the night,I was exhausted.So I slept until eleven-thirty in the morning that first day.Before I had awaken,theApartment Managerwas told that there was an abandon car in the visitor's parking lot,all smashed up.So she called the Police.Luckily for me,a friend of my Dad's was downstairs at theManger's Officeat the same time the Police arrived.She told them thatDelbert Hauensteinhad a son coming in from Californiaand that it was my car.The Police ran the platesand confirmed that it belonged to aHauenstein.So,not only was I not able to sneak out of the apartment complex in the morning,on my first day in town,the Police had to be called because of me.My family had a real good laugh about it saying,"Just like the old days, before you moved to California Jim. The Police had to be called about something you did."I'm sure the55 & Older Communitywill be talking about this one for months.What else do they have to do?Except to gossipand play cards.This is,I Am Not The Trouble Maker I Was In My Youth,I Am Now A Contributing Member Of Society,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“You couldn't be satisfied with being an amateur asshole, could you, Jimbo! You had to go and turn pro on me!”
- Susan Elizabeth Phillips -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
June 9, 2016
See Ya. Vacation Time.
Some of you avid followers might be wondering why I haven't Posted a story,everyday this week.The reason is simple.I am getting ready to go onVacation Tomorrow.
It has been a long time since I visited my Dad in person,(not Skyping him)and I haven't seen my old friends whom I grew up with for over twenty years.On of myFavorite Annotators,The Jeff,will be there.I just have to remember not to talk aboutPoliticswhile I'm back there because it seems that almost all of my old friends have grown up to beRepublicans.Even though none of them are rich affluent individuals.I believe I have the right slant on the issues of today when writing this Blog,but none of them can see the hypocrisies in what they consider a good candidate.My old friends have been discussing their point of view,over the years,by getting drunk in the local bars.Now they are grumpy old menand women who don't give reasons for their point of view unless that glass of beer is their hand. Of course,the history ofPoliticsbeing discuss in taverns has been around since theAmerican Revolutionary War.Where a pint of beer decided our future as a nation.So never let it be said that beer is the downfall of our moral fiber in this country.If it wasn't for the Puband people getting together to discuss thePoliticsof the day,we could all be saluting theUnion Jackinstead ofThe Stars And Strips.
This is,I Am Going On Vacation But My Family Will Still Be At Home To Watch Over Things,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“In matters of healing the body or the mind, vacation is a true genius!”
- Mehmet Murat ildan -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
Like I said, I am going on Vacation starting tomorrow.I will try to write a Post almost everyday.I need the practice as a writer and I hope you enjoy my little anecdotes.So please keep coming back to see what I'll come up with next.See ya!Vacation time!
It has been a long time since I visited my Dad in person,(not Skyping him)and I haven't seen my old friends whom I grew up with for over twenty years.On of myFavorite Annotators,The Jeff,will be there.I just have to remember not to talk aboutPoliticswhile I'm back there because it seems that almost all of my old friends have grown up to beRepublicans.Even though none of them are rich affluent individuals.I believe I have the right slant on the issues of today when writing this Blog,but none of them can see the hypocrisies in what they consider a good candidate.My old friends have been discussing their point of view,over the years,by getting drunk in the local bars.Now they are grumpy old menand women who don't give reasons for their point of view unless that glass of beer is their hand. Of course,the history ofPoliticsbeing discuss in taverns has been around since theAmerican Revolutionary War.Where a pint of beer decided our future as a nation.So never let it be said that beer is the downfall of our moral fiber in this country.If it wasn't for the Puband people getting together to discuss thePoliticsof the day,we could all be saluting theUnion Jackinstead ofThe Stars And Strips.This is,I Am Going On Vacation But My Family Will Still Be At Home To Watch Over Things,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“In matters of healing the body or the mind, vacation is a true genius!”
- Mehmet Murat ildan -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
Like I said, I am going on Vacation starting tomorrow.I will try to write a Post almost everyday.I need the practice as a writer and I hope you enjoy my little anecdotes.So please keep coming back to see what I'll come up with next.See ya!Vacation time!
June 8, 2016
So I Won't Get Stuck On Someone's Car,
You know a company has too much money when they start developing crazy idea projects,just because they can.Google,the beloved search engine,turnedWorld Dominating Corporationhas decided to spend the money to develop a glue which will adhere to the human body once one of it's self driving cars runs someone down.Yes,that's right.If you get hit by aGoogle Car,you will be stuck somewhere on itand drag until the on-board computer decides to stop.
"Google Patents 'Pedestrian Glue' for Self-Driving Cars."
By Rob Quinn for Newser"If you're unlucky enough to be hit by one of Google's self-driving cars, the company wants you to stay glued to the front of it, according to a patent that's dated May 17—not April 1. The patent describes an adhesive layer that may be a very sticky material and operate in a manner similar to flypaper, or double-sided duct tape, designed to prevent pedestrians from further injury, the San Jose Mercury News reports. The technology, which will also work on ordinary cars, will bring both the vehicle and the pedestrian to a more gradual stop than if the pedestrian bounces off the vehicle, the patent states. The sticky stuff will be under an eggshell-like layer so it won't end up covered in insects during everyday vehicle use. A Google spokeswoman declined to say whether the company really plans to introduce the system to its fleet. The company holds patents on a variety of ideas, she says: Some of those ideas later mature into real products and services, some don't." I can see it now.The new game in town will be how manyPedestrianscan you glue to your car in one day.Prizes will be decided at a later date.
This is,Developing My Own Anti-Stickum Clothes Line So I Won't Get Stuck On Someone's Car,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Google can bring you back 100,000 answers. A librarian can bring you back the right one.”
- Neil Gaiman -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
"Google Patents 'Pedestrian Glue' for Self-Driving Cars."
By Rob Quinn for Newser"If you're unlucky enough to be hit by one of Google's self-driving cars, the company wants you to stay glued to the front of it, according to a patent that's dated May 17—not April 1. The patent describes an adhesive layer that may be a very sticky material and operate in a manner similar to flypaper, or double-sided duct tape, designed to prevent pedestrians from further injury, the San Jose Mercury News reports. The technology, which will also work on ordinary cars, will bring both the vehicle and the pedestrian to a more gradual stop than if the pedestrian bounces off the vehicle, the patent states. The sticky stuff will be under an eggshell-like layer so it won't end up covered in insects during everyday vehicle use. A Google spokeswoman declined to say whether the company really plans to introduce the system to its fleet. The company holds patents on a variety of ideas, she says: Some of those ideas later mature into real products and services, some don't." I can see it now.The new game in town will be how manyPedestrianscan you glue to your car in one day.Prizes will be decided at a later date.This is,Developing My Own Anti-Stickum Clothes Line So I Won't Get Stuck On Someone's Car,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Google can bring you back 100,000 answers. A librarian can bring you back the right one.”
- Neil Gaiman -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
June 7, 2016
I Believe I Have A Wide Nose
OK,I have learned my lesson.It has taken me a lifetime to realize,but unless you are in the profession,talking about Politics is like explaining to a blind man what beauty is all about.This should be the last time this year I will talk about the subject,Politics.Political Viewsare as varied as the noses are our faces.
Sure,you can group certain noses together,as you can get a group of people wearing those same noses to follow a particular political candidate.But,the nose on the face of a political candidate can say a lot about that candidate.According toBuzzle.com"Just like different body shapes and sizes, our noses can be classified into as many as 14 broad categories. While many of us ignore what our noses look like, there are many who can't take their eyes off this very prominent feature of the human face. There even exists a surgical procedure known as rhinoplasty, where professionals alter the contours of a nose to make it less unappealing."So how do you judge the personality of a person by their nose?The good people atBuzzlehave come up with a list."How your nose dips and twists says a lot about who you are (apparently). Let's take a look at how your nose can reveal your true self."
Large : Materialistic, energetic
Small : Timid, loner
Straight : Systematic, good leader
Slightly upturned : Social butterfly, lucky within social circles
Wide (with a slight bump or flat) : Independent, expressive
Hook-shaped : Powerful, gutsy
Long : Stressed, respectful
Pointed : Self-assured, inquisitive
Snubbed : Immature, friendly
Thin : Finicky, out-of-con
This is,For The Life Of Me I Cannot Tell If Donald Trump Has A Snubbed Nose Or Not,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“One way of seeing all this was as a symptom of postmillennial decay, the degradation of public discourse, and the encroachment of celebrity worship into the arena of national affairs. Another way of looking at it was as an indication of the GOP's state of disarray. Then there was the way Trump perceived the thing: as a manifestation of his magnificence.”
- Mark Halperin, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
Sure,you can group certain noses together,as you can get a group of people wearing those same noses to follow a particular political candidate.But,the nose on the face of a political candidate can say a lot about that candidate.According toBuzzle.com"Just like different body shapes and sizes, our noses can be classified into as many as 14 broad categories. While many of us ignore what our noses look like, there are many who can't take their eyes off this very prominent feature of the human face. There even exists a surgical procedure known as rhinoplasty, where professionals alter the contours of a nose to make it less unappealing."So how do you judge the personality of a person by their nose?The good people atBuzzlehave come up with a list."How your nose dips and twists says a lot about who you are (apparently). Let's take a look at how your nose can reveal your true self."Large : Materialistic, energetic
Small : Timid, loner
Straight : Systematic, good leader
Slightly upturned : Social butterfly, lucky within social circles
Wide (with a slight bump or flat) : Independent, expressive
Hook-shaped : Powerful, gutsy
Long : Stressed, respectful
Pointed : Self-assured, inquisitive
Snubbed : Immature, friendly
Thin : Finicky, out-of-con
This is,For The Life Of Me I Cannot Tell If Donald Trump Has A Snubbed Nose Or Not,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“One way of seeing all this was as a symptom of postmillennial decay, the degradation of public discourse, and the encroachment of celebrity worship into the arena of national affairs. Another way of looking at it was as an indication of the GOP's state of disarray. Then there was the way Trump perceived the thing: as a manifestation of his magnificence.”
- Mark Halperin, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
June 5, 2016
When The Zombie Apocalypse Occurs, Who Is Going To Protect You?
It has been pretty hectic for me this past week.My youngest daughter'sHigh School Graduationwas on June 2nd.and I had to bring my grandson to a birthday party on Saturday for one of his classmates fromKindergarten.It can get pretty rowdy with all thoseKindergartnersin one place without a teacher to keep them in line.And depending on the parents,some of those kids can get away with murder!You don't think they are so tough at that age?OK,wait a minute.I have a picture of when my grandson was still a baby.You can see how this next generation learns quickly,has street smarts,and ain't going to take no gruff from anybody.
Yeah,that's right.He is related to me.So now,I have nothing to fear of this generation after they grow up.He will be a leader.My protector.Let me ask you this.When theZombie Apocalypse Attackscomes aboutor this generation of youths turn out to be likeAlex And The BoysfromA Clockwork Orange,who is going to protect you?My grandson loves me,looks up to me,and says I am his best friend.Of course,after a few more years in school,where he will soon make lots of friends his own age,he will then forget about his dear old Papa.Just like my kinds did with me.They grow up so fast.But until then,I am protected againstZombie Attacks!
This is,Storing Up Food & Water - Digging Trenches Around My House - Boarding Up My Windows So No Light Gets In My House,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“A prepper is prepared to live through a disaster; a survivalist lives as a man, regardless of whether a disaster happens or not.”
- Mike Klepper -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
Yeah,that's right.He is related to me.So now,I have nothing to fear of this generation after they grow up.He will be a leader.My protector.Let me ask you this.When theZombie Apocalypse Attackscomes aboutor this generation of youths turn out to be likeAlex And The BoysfromA Clockwork Orange,who is going to protect you?My grandson loves me,looks up to me,and says I am his best friend.Of course,after a few more years in school,where he will soon make lots of friends his own age,he will then forget about his dear old Papa.Just like my kinds did with me.They grow up so fast.But until then,I am protected againstZombie Attacks!This is,Storing Up Food & Water - Digging Trenches Around My House - Boarding Up My Windows So No Light Gets In My House,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“A prepper is prepared to live through a disaster; a survivalist lives as a man, regardless of whether a disaster happens or not.”
- Mike Klepper -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
June 4, 2016
Benched
I'm not sure why I started to write in this diary today, or who I might give it to to read, but I need to keep my spirits up somehow! I guess it is about time to write down what I can't say to anyone around here since I don't understand the damn language!I knew it was coming. I didn't need the interpreter to explain to me why I was being called into the Manager's Office after the game.I've been benched!
I'm in the worst slump of my five year baseball career. My name is Rodger Hornsbee Best. I play first base and bat cleanup for the Osaka Yellow Sparrows. Or I did.I can see the local edition of the morning newspaper now! “Rodger's Best is Strike Three!” It'll be the front page news in the only English written paper in the southern region of Japan. And I happen to play on their Professional Baseball Team.Yeah! I think there ought to be a law against Japanese Newspaper Owners, owning a baseball team! They are the worst critics when you don't do well and give all the credit to the Japanese players around you when you're finally hitting.I came here five years ago, to play in this league, on the suggestion of my Agent. He gave me a couple of examples of players making the Major Leagues back home after putting up some big numbers here in this league!He said that American Baseball Scouts look at the Japanese Professional League as one step up from Triple-A Minor League play from back home. Telling me, and I quote, “Just spend two, three years tops of hitting their pitching and I'll have a big fat contract waiting for you when the Big League comes a calling.”Well, nobody's calling! Not even my Agent.
Day 2 of being benched!Team wins again with that baby face Katsu playing 1st base, my position.The Manager called a team meeting three hours before the game today to announce that the Owners have come up with a new charity that every player must participate in.That's the big difference between American Ball and Japanese. In America the ballplayers have the right to choose what they want to do in their professional careers! Not so here.Management wants us to select one or maybe two kids, so we can be their representative in this charity of theirs. We have to pick them out of the thousands of letters received by the Team from Families who were victimized by the Earthquake which devastated Northern Japan a year ago. Even the part time players must choose.Our Manager was kind enough to suggest that the part time, or bench players such as I, should only pick one child just so we won't disappoint a lot of people out there. Thanks.I asked out of it, but he wouldn't let me. Said he would pick someone for me.Get this, for every hit, double, triple, home run, and so on, fifty bucks or three thousand eight hundred fifty Yen will be coming out of our paychecks and then matched by the Owners to be sent to the victim of our choice!Whoever turns up as mine, that poor kid isn't going to see a penny from this Yank!
Day 3The team is on a three game winning streak with Katsu hitting the lights out of the ball!Mr. Hiroshi, our manager, did pick a kid for me and I'm supposed to write to him to let him know I'm his representative on the team! Of course the interpreter will write whatever I say, but what am I gonna say to a kid who lost an arm and had a leg crushed. I was told he didn't lose the leg, but he'll never run again. Great, first I'm benched, my Agent won't return my calls, and now this! If I had a dog, it would've died this week the way my luck has been going!
Day 4 Four wins in a row for the team without me playing! Mr. Baby Face Katsu is really getting on my nerves!And how the hell did this kid find out I was his representative. I've already received a letter from him thanking me for this great honor. If some idiot in the front office had told him I was his rep, then they should have also notified him that I was riding the pine!I asked the interpreter to write something up for me saying the proper things and all but he told me I should put it in my own words. What, “Sorry kid, I'm benched?”He finally agreed to do it for me for a couple thousand yen. Just like home, money talks to us all!
Day 5A break in the schedule. Great, we didn't win or lose and Mr. Baby Face didn't get a hit batting in my spot.The manager suggested I come in for extra batting practice today, but I lied to him saying I had a friend flying into the country and needed to pick him up at the Airport. You know he had the gall to ask the interpreter if I was lying!What the hell. There is an American type bar in the hotel where I'm staying with an American type bartender who appreciates how to turn about, three thousand yen into the sweetest gin and tonics this side of the Pacific!That's all the hitting I need right now!
Day 6Son of a gun! Today I showed up late to the ballpark, missed batting practice, got fined by the team, was hung over, and Baby Face went two for four in a losing cause!How could that kid have gotten my letter already? He's written to me twice now and expressed how happy he was that an American Ball Player like me would be so generous to him. He goes on to say that by the end of the week I'll be in the starting lineup so please take care of myself.By the end of the week? This Saturday, according to my calendar, is two days away!I guess the kid doesn't see any of the ballgames. If he had, he would've seen that my replacement, Mr. Katsu, is hitting three oh five, with two home runs, since taking my spot.If I have the time, I'll have to let the kid know what's up. It's breaking my heart, but I can't let him think I'm some kind of hero. I'm not even playing!
Day 7
Things are getting pretty bad for me on the team. Baby Face hits the game winning home run in the bottom of the ninth and the team mobs him at home plate!Not only that, this kid writes to me every day now! It also turns out that this kid is not a boy at all, Akiko is a girl's name! I never even thought about asking the interpreter when I got the first letter if it was a boy or a girl.She goes on to say that from now on she'll be watching every game and she'll be helping me! When I swing the bat she'll be swinging the bat with me! When I run, she'll be running with me!If I don't have enough pressure on me already! Now I've got some insane Japanese girl thinking she is going to help me magically and I'm going to save her from the poverty that has befallen her. Man, this country and these people are nuts!
Day 8It's Saturday. When I get to the ballpark, I find out that Baby Face has been traded to the Tanabe Tigers for a pitcher! I got the start today at first base! I did get a hit, a single in the first inning, and scored a run. My first base hit in over a month!It was so great being on that field again that I'll be glad to chip in the fifty bucks to that little girl. I just can't figure out how she knew I would be playing today?
Day 9We won two in a row with me in the line up. Sorry to say I didn't get a hit today, but I did start a three two triple play. The bases were loaded, the batter hit a screeching line drive right at my head, which I caught, tagged out the runner at first base when he tried to return after leading off too far, and threw home to the catcher as the runner from third base tried to score when he thought I wasn't looking!Turns out that play will cost me fifty bucks too, but at least the players on the team have accepted me once again as their teammate!
Day 10Another day, another letter from Akiko! Who cares, I went one for four today, made one hell of a defensive play, and to top it off, we won!Akiko writes that she is so proud of me and is very thankful that I have begun to take care of myself! Before she mentioned it, I hadn't noticed that I haven't had a drink for three days now.Now that's a new record!I wonder what kind of stalker laws they have in this country? It is really eerie how she finds things out about me like she does.
Day 11We won today. We are two games out of first with twenty-three to go and of course another letter from Akiko. Now she is looking at the opposing pitcher for the next day telling me his strengths and weaknesses. How well I've hit him in the past, how the defense has played me, and if I should pull the ball or hit to the opposite field in the opposing Team's ballpark.Oh, I almost forgot. She is writing these last few letters in English. It's a little hard to decipher sometimes, but I appreciate the effort. I actually wrote her back today since I felt so comfortable about not having to pour out my feelings through the interpreter!
Day 25 I thinkMan, we had a ten game winning streak sandwiched in between our only two loses since I last wrote in this journal! We're five games up in the standings, I've hit in twelve straight games, and today's Newspaper's Headline has touted me as the team's MVP.Since coming back into the starting lineup I'm hitting three fifty with ten home runs and twenty five runs batted in! With Akiko helping me, I've been unstoppable!I wrote back to Akiko today to tell her how grateful I am. I've also invited her and her family to come and watch our final home game before the end of the season next week. It's my treat. I'll pay for their flight, their hotel stay, and all their meals! It's the least I can do for my biggest fan and the best hitting coach I ever had!
Day 29We clinched the division title today, but I'm not really in the celebrating mood. Akiko said she would love to come and see me play in person, but that her Mother and Father had died in the Earthquake. She has no brothers or sisters so it would be just her coming. What child can travel alone without a chaperon? I sent two tickets anyways, with spending money, and made arrangement for her to stay in her own private room at the same hotel as mine. That way I can spend a lot of time with her. I also sent her tickets to all three remaining home games on the schedule. Man, that kid has been through a lot, and here I was feeling sorry for myself when I got benched!With all that tragedy in her life, all she ever did was encourage me and help me. Not once did she ever complain to me about what had happened to her and her family in one of her letters! That is one special kid.
Day 30We won again!I'm so excited, nervous, and anxious. If I hadn't promised that little girl that I wouldn't drink anymore in one of my earlier letters I'd be on one good drunk right now! Akiko is flying in tomorrow on our final break in the schedule before our last three home games.I feel like a kid again. I'm just nervous about how I'll react to her being handicapped. I know they say to treat them as you would any person, but I've never had to deal with it before.At least I'll have some great news for her when we meet. The San Diego Major League Ball Club has invited me to spring training with a guaranteed million dollar bonus if I make the team. The best part is that they just lost their All Star first baseman to free agency. I'm a shoe in.
Day 35The Playoffs start in two days. We won all three games of the home stand and I hit a home run in each game!Turns out that the best hitting coach I've ever had isn't a child after all. Akiko is a twenty-three year old woman. A beautiful woman. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun just being with a woman. And the reason she knew so much about me and that I would be playing again, is because her Uncle is my Manager!My agent calls me every day now, the San Diego Team is calling me directly, and I'm starting to get offers from other teams too!
Day 36 after being benched!You know what I have learned from these last couple of months? You have to be happy and thankful for every day you get in life! My little problems don't even compare to what Akiko has gone through. She is not bitter or angry with the world, but grateful for the life she still has a chance to live. I really like that about her.I fired my Agent today and told the Major League Teams who call me that we play some pretty competitive baseball here too in Japan. I've told them that money isn't important to me anymore.I've told everyone and anyone who would listen, that I'm staying here in Japan for good. I kind of like the life I see in front of me!A life with Akiko!
I'm in the worst slump of my five year baseball career. My name is Rodger Hornsbee Best. I play first base and bat cleanup for the Osaka Yellow Sparrows. Or I did.I can see the local edition of the morning newspaper now! “Rodger's Best is Strike Three!” It'll be the front page news in the only English written paper in the southern region of Japan. And I happen to play on their Professional Baseball Team.Yeah! I think there ought to be a law against Japanese Newspaper Owners, owning a baseball team! They are the worst critics when you don't do well and give all the credit to the Japanese players around you when you're finally hitting.I came here five years ago, to play in this league, on the suggestion of my Agent. He gave me a couple of examples of players making the Major Leagues back home after putting up some big numbers here in this league!He said that American Baseball Scouts look at the Japanese Professional League as one step up from Triple-A Minor League play from back home. Telling me, and I quote, “Just spend two, three years tops of hitting their pitching and I'll have a big fat contract waiting for you when the Big League comes a calling.”Well, nobody's calling! Not even my Agent.
Day 2 of being benched!Team wins again with that baby face Katsu playing 1st base, my position.The Manager called a team meeting three hours before the game today to announce that the Owners have come up with a new charity that every player must participate in.That's the big difference between American Ball and Japanese. In America the ballplayers have the right to choose what they want to do in their professional careers! Not so here.Management wants us to select one or maybe two kids, so we can be their representative in this charity of theirs. We have to pick them out of the thousands of letters received by the Team from Families who were victimized by the Earthquake which devastated Northern Japan a year ago. Even the part time players must choose.Our Manager was kind enough to suggest that the part time, or bench players such as I, should only pick one child just so we won't disappoint a lot of people out there. Thanks.I asked out of it, but he wouldn't let me. Said he would pick someone for me.Get this, for every hit, double, triple, home run, and so on, fifty bucks or three thousand eight hundred fifty Yen will be coming out of our paychecks and then matched by the Owners to be sent to the victim of our choice!Whoever turns up as mine, that poor kid isn't going to see a penny from this Yank!
Day 3The team is on a three game winning streak with Katsu hitting the lights out of the ball!Mr. Hiroshi, our manager, did pick a kid for me and I'm supposed to write to him to let him know I'm his representative on the team! Of course the interpreter will write whatever I say, but what am I gonna say to a kid who lost an arm and had a leg crushed. I was told he didn't lose the leg, but he'll never run again. Great, first I'm benched, my Agent won't return my calls, and now this! If I had a dog, it would've died this week the way my luck has been going!
Day 4 Four wins in a row for the team without me playing! Mr. Baby Face Katsu is really getting on my nerves!And how the hell did this kid find out I was his representative. I've already received a letter from him thanking me for this great honor. If some idiot in the front office had told him I was his rep, then they should have also notified him that I was riding the pine!I asked the interpreter to write something up for me saying the proper things and all but he told me I should put it in my own words. What, “Sorry kid, I'm benched?”He finally agreed to do it for me for a couple thousand yen. Just like home, money talks to us all!
Day 5A break in the schedule. Great, we didn't win or lose and Mr. Baby Face didn't get a hit batting in my spot.The manager suggested I come in for extra batting practice today, but I lied to him saying I had a friend flying into the country and needed to pick him up at the Airport. You know he had the gall to ask the interpreter if I was lying!What the hell. There is an American type bar in the hotel where I'm staying with an American type bartender who appreciates how to turn about, three thousand yen into the sweetest gin and tonics this side of the Pacific!That's all the hitting I need right now!
Day 6Son of a gun! Today I showed up late to the ballpark, missed batting practice, got fined by the team, was hung over, and Baby Face went two for four in a losing cause!How could that kid have gotten my letter already? He's written to me twice now and expressed how happy he was that an American Ball Player like me would be so generous to him. He goes on to say that by the end of the week I'll be in the starting lineup so please take care of myself.By the end of the week? This Saturday, according to my calendar, is two days away!I guess the kid doesn't see any of the ballgames. If he had, he would've seen that my replacement, Mr. Katsu, is hitting three oh five, with two home runs, since taking my spot.If I have the time, I'll have to let the kid know what's up. It's breaking my heart, but I can't let him think I'm some kind of hero. I'm not even playing!
Day 7
Things are getting pretty bad for me on the team. Baby Face hits the game winning home run in the bottom of the ninth and the team mobs him at home plate!Not only that, this kid writes to me every day now! It also turns out that this kid is not a boy at all, Akiko is a girl's name! I never even thought about asking the interpreter when I got the first letter if it was a boy or a girl.She goes on to say that from now on she'll be watching every game and she'll be helping me! When I swing the bat she'll be swinging the bat with me! When I run, she'll be running with me!If I don't have enough pressure on me already! Now I've got some insane Japanese girl thinking she is going to help me magically and I'm going to save her from the poverty that has befallen her. Man, this country and these people are nuts!
Day 8It's Saturday. When I get to the ballpark, I find out that Baby Face has been traded to the Tanabe Tigers for a pitcher! I got the start today at first base! I did get a hit, a single in the first inning, and scored a run. My first base hit in over a month!It was so great being on that field again that I'll be glad to chip in the fifty bucks to that little girl. I just can't figure out how she knew I would be playing today?
Day 9We won two in a row with me in the line up. Sorry to say I didn't get a hit today, but I did start a three two triple play. The bases were loaded, the batter hit a screeching line drive right at my head, which I caught, tagged out the runner at first base when he tried to return after leading off too far, and threw home to the catcher as the runner from third base tried to score when he thought I wasn't looking!Turns out that play will cost me fifty bucks too, but at least the players on the team have accepted me once again as their teammate!
Day 10Another day, another letter from Akiko! Who cares, I went one for four today, made one hell of a defensive play, and to top it off, we won!Akiko writes that she is so proud of me and is very thankful that I have begun to take care of myself! Before she mentioned it, I hadn't noticed that I haven't had a drink for three days now.Now that's a new record!I wonder what kind of stalker laws they have in this country? It is really eerie how she finds things out about me like she does.
Day 11We won today. We are two games out of first with twenty-three to go and of course another letter from Akiko. Now she is looking at the opposing pitcher for the next day telling me his strengths and weaknesses. How well I've hit him in the past, how the defense has played me, and if I should pull the ball or hit to the opposite field in the opposing Team's ballpark.Oh, I almost forgot. She is writing these last few letters in English. It's a little hard to decipher sometimes, but I appreciate the effort. I actually wrote her back today since I felt so comfortable about not having to pour out my feelings through the interpreter!
Day 25 I thinkMan, we had a ten game winning streak sandwiched in between our only two loses since I last wrote in this journal! We're five games up in the standings, I've hit in twelve straight games, and today's Newspaper's Headline has touted me as the team's MVP.Since coming back into the starting lineup I'm hitting three fifty with ten home runs and twenty five runs batted in! With Akiko helping me, I've been unstoppable!I wrote back to Akiko today to tell her how grateful I am. I've also invited her and her family to come and watch our final home game before the end of the season next week. It's my treat. I'll pay for their flight, their hotel stay, and all their meals! It's the least I can do for my biggest fan and the best hitting coach I ever had!
Day 29We clinched the division title today, but I'm not really in the celebrating mood. Akiko said she would love to come and see me play in person, but that her Mother and Father had died in the Earthquake. She has no brothers or sisters so it would be just her coming. What child can travel alone without a chaperon? I sent two tickets anyways, with spending money, and made arrangement for her to stay in her own private room at the same hotel as mine. That way I can spend a lot of time with her. I also sent her tickets to all three remaining home games on the schedule. Man, that kid has been through a lot, and here I was feeling sorry for myself when I got benched!With all that tragedy in her life, all she ever did was encourage me and help me. Not once did she ever complain to me about what had happened to her and her family in one of her letters! That is one special kid.
Day 30We won again!I'm so excited, nervous, and anxious. If I hadn't promised that little girl that I wouldn't drink anymore in one of my earlier letters I'd be on one good drunk right now! Akiko is flying in tomorrow on our final break in the schedule before our last three home games.I feel like a kid again. I'm just nervous about how I'll react to her being handicapped. I know they say to treat them as you would any person, but I've never had to deal with it before.At least I'll have some great news for her when we meet. The San Diego Major League Ball Club has invited me to spring training with a guaranteed million dollar bonus if I make the team. The best part is that they just lost their All Star first baseman to free agency. I'm a shoe in.
Day 35The Playoffs start in two days. We won all three games of the home stand and I hit a home run in each game!Turns out that the best hitting coach I've ever had isn't a child after all. Akiko is a twenty-three year old woman. A beautiful woman. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun just being with a woman. And the reason she knew so much about me and that I would be playing again, is because her Uncle is my Manager!My agent calls me every day now, the San Diego Team is calling me directly, and I'm starting to get offers from other teams too!
Day 36 after being benched!You know what I have learned from these last couple of months? You have to be happy and thankful for every day you get in life! My little problems don't even compare to what Akiko has gone through. She is not bitter or angry with the world, but grateful for the life she still has a chance to live. I really like that about her.I fired my Agent today and told the Major League Teams who call me that we play some pretty competitive baseball here too in Japan. I've told them that money isn't important to me anymore.I've told everyone and anyone who would listen, that I'm staying here in Japan for good. I kind of like the life I see in front of me!A life with Akiko!
June 1, 2016
It Was Surreal
Conjecture,aGuess,toPostulate,aTheorywithout facts,anAssumption.Dictionary.com explains Assumption as;"Something taken for granted, a supposition, presumption."
Recently,people have taken the assumption that the music videos I have on my Blog are songs I recently wrote and are about my wife.Without knowing the facts people have assumed that I am still the young and ultra-violent punk rocker who writes about killing in his songs.Wrong.
That is me at the rip old age of twenty-two playing bass for the Rock BandPolitixs.Where I wrote most of my tunes before heading out and formingTwoBuckHowie With The Exact Change.Back then I would not have back away from a fight,but lucky for me,I hadand have a great personality.I found out how to win friends,instead of confronting people.When that didn't work,I had just the right amount of friends with me were I never got into a major brawland got hurt.I am happy to say,I have never been punched in my beautiful face.Back then,to release my anger,I wrote songs.Yes,some of those songs are violent.But isn't that what Punk was all about?
This is,Still Playing Those Songs From My Glory Days,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“L'ancienneté, chez les punks, était signe de crédibilité et conférait prestige et avantages divers. Un des rares points communs entre punk rock et fonction publique.”
- Virginie Despentes -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
One true story.Brian Kroske, who was of my closet friends and was the drummer in the band Politixs, went with me one night to a bar. The place was crowded. We had few beers and was about to leave the place when a fight broke out. Brian and I were in the back of the place and could see a chain reaction, throughout the bar, the fight spilled over into other groups. We knew we had to get out of there before the Police arrived. I was six feet tall, two hundred pounds at the time. Brian was five foot ten inches weighing in at two hundred thirty pounds. I got behind him watching our rear for an attack as he punched his way through the bar for the door. With Police sirens blaring, us punching our way out, all of a sudden on the junk box as loud as possible could be, the songThe Ballroom Blitz by The Sweetcame on.It wasSurreal.
Recently,people have taken the assumption that the music videos I have on my Blog are songs I recently wrote and are about my wife.Without knowing the facts people have assumed that I am still the young and ultra-violent punk rocker who writes about killing in his songs.Wrong.
That is me at the rip old age of twenty-two playing bass for the Rock BandPolitixs.Where I wrote most of my tunes before heading out and formingTwoBuckHowie With The Exact Change.Back then I would not have back away from a fight,but lucky for me,I hadand have a great personality.I found out how to win friends,instead of confronting people.When that didn't work,I had just the right amount of friends with me were I never got into a major brawland got hurt.I am happy to say,I have never been punched in my beautiful face.Back then,to release my anger,I wrote songs.Yes,some of those songs are violent.But isn't that what Punk was all about?This is,Still Playing Those Songs From My Glory Days,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“L'ancienneté, chez les punks, était signe de crédibilité et conférait prestige et avantages divers. Un des rares points communs entre punk rock et fonction publique.”
- Virginie Despentes -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
One true story.Brian Kroske, who was of my closet friends and was the drummer in the band Politixs, went with me one night to a bar. The place was crowded. We had few beers and was about to leave the place when a fight broke out. Brian and I were in the back of the place and could see a chain reaction, throughout the bar, the fight spilled over into other groups. We knew we had to get out of there before the Police arrived. I was six feet tall, two hundred pounds at the time. Brian was five foot ten inches weighing in at two hundred thirty pounds. I got behind him watching our rear for an attack as he punched his way through the bar for the door. With Police sirens blaring, us punching our way out, all of a sudden on the junk box as loud as possible could be, the songThe Ballroom Blitz by The Sweetcame on.It wasSurreal.
May 30, 2016
The Goal Of Playing In The Band Is To Meet The Ladies
The Oxford Dictionaries defines the word"Temptation"as;"A desire to do something, especially something wrong or unwise."
or"A thing or course of action that attracts or tempts someone."
Something happened to me today that hasn't happened to me in over35 years. Maybe I should give some background first before I expose my whole story.As a wannabe writer,I was told not to give out how old I am.People in thePublishing Businesshave stated that,until you are established,let your readers imagine how you would be like in person.A preconceived notion that someone might not be able to relate to younger audiences,because they don't understand what young people are going through in life while they are growing up is ludicrous.Maybe the person I was talking to was trying to save my feelings from being hurt, by side tracking me with that last statement?What he really wanted to tell me is;"I am truly sorry James, but we can't take a picture of you where we can photo-shop your looks into something closely resembling a good looking human being!"Thirty-five years ago I played bass guitar in a number of loud,mostly in tune,Rock N' Roll Bandsin the State of Wisconsin.
The goal of playing at"Live Venues"was never to becomeRich & Famous,the goal was always to drink free beer,make a few extra bucks on the weekend,and to meet the ladies.Even a local"Rock Band,"has what all musicians strive for.Groupies!Fast forwarding to today,like most citizens of theUnited States,I was invited to aMemorial Day Party.I wasn't going there to get drunk,or make a few bucks for the weekend.I went there just to socialize with people.Walking into the place,my Host greeted me inside his kitchenand seemed to be overzealous about announcing who I was.It turns out he finally purchased my eBook;No Return Address and thought it was sensational.A woman,a beautiful woman,in her late thirties was in the kitchen when this all came about.After all the hoopla died down,she made a bee-line straight towards meand struck up a conversation with me.It was the first time,since playing in"The Band,"thirty-five years ago,that a women freely gave me her telephone number,and I didn't have to make an effort to get it!I am sixty years old now,and I don't imagine I will act on her invitation,since my wife would kill her,but the most important thing here is,
I've got a groupie. I've got a groupie.
It is so good to be loved by the fans once again!
And,
“As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.”
- John Lennon -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
or"A thing or course of action that attracts or tempts someone."
Something happened to me today that hasn't happened to me in over35 years. Maybe I should give some background first before I expose my whole story.As a wannabe writer,I was told not to give out how old I am.People in thePublishing Businesshave stated that,until you are established,let your readers imagine how you would be like in person.A preconceived notion that someone might not be able to relate to younger audiences,because they don't understand what young people are going through in life while they are growing up is ludicrous.Maybe the person I was talking to was trying to save my feelings from being hurt, by side tracking me with that last statement?What he really wanted to tell me is;"I am truly sorry James, but we can't take a picture of you where we can photo-shop your looks into something closely resembling a good looking human being!"Thirty-five years ago I played bass guitar in a number of loud,mostly in tune,Rock N' Roll Bandsin the State of Wisconsin.
The goal of playing at"Live Venues"was never to becomeRich & Famous,the goal was always to drink free beer,make a few extra bucks on the weekend,and to meet the ladies.Even a local"Rock Band,"has what all musicians strive for.Groupies!Fast forwarding to today,like most citizens of theUnited States,I was invited to aMemorial Day Party.I wasn't going there to get drunk,or make a few bucks for the weekend.I went there just to socialize with people.Walking into the place,my Host greeted me inside his kitchenand seemed to be overzealous about announcing who I was.It turns out he finally purchased my eBook;No Return Address and thought it was sensational.A woman,a beautiful woman,in her late thirties was in the kitchen when this all came about.After all the hoopla died down,she made a bee-line straight towards meand struck up a conversation with me.It was the first time,since playing in"The Band,"thirty-five years ago,that a women freely gave me her telephone number,and I didn't have to make an effort to get it!I am sixty years old now,and I don't imagine I will act on her invitation,since my wife would kill her,but the most important thing here is,
I've got a groupie. I've got a groupie.
It is so good to be loved by the fans once again!And,
“As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.”
- John Lennon -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
Like what you are reading,or do not like what you see.Set up my Blog as your Homepage,or sign up as a Follower,or leave a Comment,and I will answer you in a Post.
Thanks for reading.
May 29, 2016
A-L-I-V - A Short Story
A-L-I-V “My name is Daniel; I'm broadcasting on a middle band wave length frequency. My call letters are A-L-I-V. I know it has only been five days since my ability to view or hear anything from the outside world has ended, but I'm beginning to fear the worst because no one has tried to contact me. I'm in a Government built habitat, I work for the United States’ Government, and was in daily contact with my superiors........... .....If anyone is listening to me out there, I hope you are safe in your own fortified shelter................If someone does hear me, do you have the capability to see what is happening in the outside world?............... Internet, Television, Aircraft, International, Coastal Stations, AM, and FM signals have all gone dead in this area. I'm hoping these signals are still active in other parts of the World but my ability to receive them has been severed................I assume it was a Coronal Mass Ejection from the Sun, which fried my primary communication equipment...............With all electronic communication lost to me locally, I can't tell if civilization goes along normally or if this voltaic outage is worldwide ................If you can hear me, please tell me what kind of condition the world is in and what I can expect if I go to the surface.…............I am using an antenna buoy system that is tethered to my backup communication equipment, which is this short wave radio................ I'm alone here, under the Arctic Ocean................Since I haven't heard any other broadcasts, on any frequency, I'm inclined to believe the worst is happening to our world. If an EM pulse was so large that it destroyed all electronics Worldwide?…............I'm sorry.…............I'm back.…............I'm probably just overreacting.…............I hope I'm a little premature with my assumptions. Especially if the outage is only localized and I'm just being paranoid.…............But if the world has fallen into chaos, I want to let anyone who can hear my signal know, you my friend are not alone................We just have to wait in our shelters until the chaos outside finishes destroying itself................ From this day forward, I plan on broadcasting on this same frequency at this exact same time. So as the turmoil outside calms down, we the survivalist, will be able to organize into groups, to overcome the hardships of building a new world together…............I will periodically listen to other bandwidths to see if anyone else is trying to communicate with other survivors. I will then ask them to broadcast on this same signal so we can keep in touch with one another................ I suggest you do the same if you are in contact with anyone or if you hear from someone................If you do hear me right now, but cannot respond at this time, fine. When you are able to, use your call letters so all survivalists everywhere will know what part of the country you're in or what Nation you are from................It will be helpful if some of you out there can speak another language. I suggest as soon as more of us are able to communicate with one another, we set up a series of bilingual broadcast stations as our main gathering points of information. That way, they can keep everyone up to date on what is actually happening in the outside world and when it will be the best time for us to leave our shelters................The first thing we all need to realize, no matter who you are or where you're from, that if there is annihilation happening outside of our shelters, it is not Armageddon. The Earth itself goes through stages in its own evolution. There have been five major mass extinctions already in our planet's history. Where the majority of life was destroyed, yet it led the way for new life to flourish................Please, just remember, change was good in the evolution of mankind when the dinosaurs went extinct and mammals began dominating the World................ I won't waste any more of your precious power if you can hear me. I don't even know if you have the reserves that I do................Once again, I will be broadcasting daily at this same time, on this same frequency................If you are in communication with other groups, have them listen in tomorrow. Take care. A new future is upon us................ Over and out.”
“Hi out there in the real world. This is Daniel Roosevelt Thorogood broadcasting once again live on call letters A-L-I-V. The only sound from the underground. Seriously, if anyone can hear me out there, please send me a signal or call me on this frequency................It has been thirty-five days since all communication discontinued from the surface. Which is one day short of the last time I had a conversation with anyone. I'm beginning to believe it wasn't a CME from the Sun, which knocked out all the electronics in my general area, but the stupidity of some General or President or Prime Minister or whomever. They had their grubby little mitts on those new EM Field weapons and thought they could strike first.…............If it is an electromagnetic field disturbance, which destroyed our once proud civilized world, why did it have to be so damn thorough................ When this shelter was built there were cameras placed in different locations on top of the Arctic ice which I could monitor remotely. They were originally set up, along with standard climate monitoring devices, so there would be a visual record of the changes in local weather patterns, wind velocity, and temperature fluctuations due to global warming. Of course they would be ideal now to see when and if it is possible to venture back out onto the surface of the planet............. .…I've tried to repair things remotely, without going to the surface, but I was just fooling myself. The cameras must have been permanently fried. Now I have no way of knowing what is happening... .............I'm holed up in a self-contained bunker that I designed for the U.S. Government. They spent about a billion dollars to construct this shelter for a NASA mission scheduled for two years from now............. .…Well, I guess the joke is on them. Nobody is getting off this planet for the next two hundred years or so.…............I'm waiting to hear from you out there, so I can once again come to the surface and see the sunshine................I've been broadcasting every day around this same time, on this same frequency, so if anyone can hear me, please answer me...............I know there has to be at least a hundred thousand survivalists out there Worldwide. Fallout shelters have been in vogue since the nineteen fifties. There has to be survives................There just has to be................OK, I know someone must be able to hear me.......... ......I will be broadcasting again tomorrow at the same time................ OK?…............”
“My broadcasting day has just begun here at A-L-I-V.…............I was hoping by this time to be able to see the light of day, but I dare not leave the safety of my bunker. With no electricity to monitor the containment fields around Nuclear Power Plants or the Military's Thermonuclear Weapons, there could be hundreds or even thousands of radiation leaks Worldwide from this kind of equipment failing by now. Exposing whomever might still be alive to massive amounts of radioactive particles. I'm not sure how long these containment fields can hold up without electricity................I don't really know. It's not exactly my area of expertise.…............When I designed this prototype shelter, I did not anticipate the need for any kind of protective breathing suit. Where I could enter an alien planet on our own world filled with toxic fumes, ultraviolet radiation, or any kind of radiation. I have no weapons to protect myself against roving bands of desperate looters looking for clean food and water. The thought never crossed my mind that I would need these things. I knew this shelter could handle anything the Earth could throw at it. I didn't anticipate being alone here.…............Whomever might be listening to me, I'm relying on you, to give me the OK................The OK to go to the surface.......... ......If the World has destroyed itself, as predicted by Oxford University's Quantum Mechanics Mathematician Samuel P. Learn, where are the survivors?...............He predicted the Earth was overdue for one of its Global transformation. Where there is a mass extinction of life on the Earth................He predicted it would be a new dawning age of enlightenment for any survivors................I can't be the only one who has survived................Well, if you are worried about answering my call because you might have to share vital supplies with me, don't be. I am a former NASA engineer who designed the Human Habitat Europa Six. A facility built so man could eventually have a research facility on Europa itself, one of Jupiter's Moons................NASA and the ESA gave their OK to launch the first phase of our ten-year mission beginning in two years. Now look at them all................I suppose they're all dead or starving or something................The idiots... ............My bunker has all the same hydroponics designs, recyclable water filtration, radiation protected walls, and stored, dried food supplies for a family of four to live on without rationing for two years. With the developments in harvesting techniques greatly improved for the Europa Six Habitat, the edible plant life I have growing is estimated to supply that family for ten years................My clothes are lined with small battery cells, so with every movement I make, I am actually charging each cell. All my exercise equipment is wired so that each workout generates electricity. I have all the food, water, and energy I need................I don't want your supplies. I want you to................To talk to me................ Please................I want to hear another person's voice................Sure, I have hundreds of recorded movies, hundreds of digital music tracks, and I even have the latest hologram technology of some of my old Colleagues lecturing...... ….......I want to hear from you................I'll try again tomorrow, and the next day, then the day after that, until you talk to me................For one hundred eighty-eight days straight I've been broadcasting and I know you are listening to me. You have to be..................Over and out.”
“Daniel here. My call letters are A-L-I-V................I will be broadcasting a recorded message for the next five to seven days. I have some kind of virus causing extreme stomach cramps and nausea........... .....My first aid kit is supplied with all the antibiotics I need to get through this bug, so don't worry about me.…............I'm starting a new calendar so all of us survivors are on the same page once we venture back to the surface...............It has been two hundred twenty-eight days since any contact with the surface was lost to me. We will still go by the seven days a week system, making today Sunday................So expect to hear back from me in about seven days. Maybe less, if I feel better................Out!”
“That last song you've just heard was the final recording of that fabulous quintet, formally known as Two Buck Howie with the Exact Change. You could have picked up that beauty at any of your local internet Independent Music Store, when we still had the internet, for the extreme low price of fifteen ninety-five. But if someone was alive today, besides myself, you could go ahead and loot those large chain stores for their lowest prices of the year, free................Remember to tune in tomorrow to the coolest station this side of the equator, A-L-I-V, to discover another new indie band called, The Boll Weevils. The same fabulous guitar player and extraordinary drummer were together in both bands. But I'll let you in on a little secret ahead of time, the music from each band was unique to that particular group!...............So fab, so fabulous!…..............To all you gorgeous people out there, if you like the sounds you hear today and every day, give us a ring on this frequency and we would love to put you on the guest list of our upcoming A-L-I-V jamboree! It’s been Mother approved!…............This is Rockin' Dan Roosevelt signing off for another day, wishing for of all my wonderful listeners out there to go to Hell!...............I want you to go to Hell for not having the sense of putting me on your social network page as a fan favorite when you were still alive!...............So go to Hell out there in radio land, and I'm out!”
“Call letters A-L-I-V................Tomorrow will be my five hundredth days since I last saw the world as I once knew it. I never thought I was going to be the only survivor................I once had a girlfriend named Sherrie. But she didn't believe me when I started listening to all those doomsayers who predicted the end was near. Funny thing, they were right...............She said she would rather die with her family, then to live in a world without them. I, on the other hand, was so afraid of dying, I left behind the one person that I now believe I loved more than life itself................My daily thoughts are about her now. I have tried, for all this time, to suppress my feelings for her, believing my relevance was crucial in bringing forward the new utopia of mankind... .............The absurd thing about all of this is, I wasn't willing to let any other human being come down inside this bunker with me other than her................I convinced my superiors to let me be the one to do the living test in the Europa Habitat so if the prediction of the end of our Civilization came to pass, I'll would be alive. If it doesn't, I'll just act like I was kidding around and we could have gone on with our relationship.…............I was so positive that there would be other survivors out there that I never dreamed of being alone................ Maybe the choice of an underwater location was unique. Probably the size and materials I used to build this shelter were right on the mark to survive not only the alien Moon Europa, but the destruction of the Earth itself. The saddest part about all of this is, I could have fit twenty people in here and we could have made it work................ Tomorrow................Tomorrow, instead of going to the surface to see what has happened to humanity, I'm going to stay right here in my coffin and let the body die. …............If Einstein's conjecture is true, where energy cannot be created nor destroyed, will my energy continue after tomorrow? Well, apparently, I'm going to find out...............Today is my last broadcast. Today................Hello Daniel................What? Is someone there?...............Hello Daniel. ............... I can't believe it. Ha ha ha ha ha. Someone is really out there! Ha ha!...............Hello Daniel.. ..............Who is this? What are your call letters? Where are you located?...............Hello Daniel...............OK, OK. Hello, hello, hello! Wow, am I glad to hear from you. Man, this is great................Hello Daniel................Wait, why are you only saying hello Daniel? Am I talking to a Computer that is trying to become self-aware or something. Did the computers destroy humankind as predicted by so many?...............Hello Daniel................Or is this my mind playing tricks on me? Am I going crazy here? Am I really hearing this?............. ...Hello Daniel................Why can't you say anything other than hello?.. ..............Hello Daniel..............Wait a second, you speak another language, don't you?...............Hello Daniel................Maybe you didn't think of bringing material to learn another language. Ha, that has to be it................Hello Daniel................ Man, right now I don't care what the explanation is, I just love to hear you say those words.…............Hello Daniel................OK. Ha ha ha. I am going to say things to you very slowly now, so maybe you will be able to understand what I am going to tell you. Tomorrow I will be broadcasting again on this same frequency at the same time................Hello Daniel................I will write out as many different greetings in as many different languages as I have digital recordings on. We will try to have a conversation with each other tomorrow, OK?...............Hello Daniel................Great! Tomorrow then................Hello Daniel.................Please, just one more thing before I let you go. If you can answer me in your own language, is it too early to go to the surface?...............Hello Daniel................ Yeah, what am I thinking. You can't possibly understand me yet. Tomorrow then! Do not forget to listen tomorrow................Hello Daniel................I am afraid, that if I let you go right now, I will never hear from you again!...............Hello Daniel.…............But just hearing you say hello Daniel over and over again is getting on my nerves. So please, please, please come back tomorrow, OK?...............Hello Daniel................Fine. Then here it goes. Over and out!”
“Hello out there. A-L-I-V is back on the air................Yes, I am still alive and kicking since one of you wonderful listeners out there have finally answered my call................I'm just hoping that it wasn't a fluke call yesterday or a figment of my imagination and that the same wonderful person is listening today................Buon Giorno................ Halo................Bonjour................Hoy, Hei, Sveiki................ Ahoj.......... ......Allah.................Don't make me come out there and wring your neck you son-of-a-bitch................Hello Daniel................OK, great. Whew, at least we know I'm not going crazy................Hello Daniel....... .........Hello back to you my insipid friend. Why do you always say my name with no emotion to it?...............Hello Daniel................Am I talking to a computer? Is that what this is?...............Hello Daniel.......... ......I knew it. You're a damn computer................No Daniel, I am not..... ...........Whoa. The computer has learned a few more words for today..... ..........I can assure you Daniel that I am not a computer................Then why do you say everything in a monotone voice?............... First, I had to learn your language................What do you mean by that exactly? Two days ago you couldn't speak English?...............Two of your Planet's orbiting rotations of its Star, I could not speak a single language. Today I speak every single one that was ever spoken on this Planet................What are you talking about? You say you're not a computer, then how in the Hell could you learn over six thousand languages in two days?...............We are not of this Earth................ What?...............We are not of this Earth................Hello Daniel.............. ..Hello Daniel................What kind of bull are you trying to feed me, you are not from this Earth?...............We are not of this Earth............... So you are trying to tell me, you're from another planet?...............We are not of this Earth. ...............And there is more than one of you?........ ........We are not of this Earth................This isn't funny if someone is trying to play a joke on me?...............We are not of this Earth................ Then where are you from?...............A Parallel Earth................What the hell are you talking about?...............We are not of this Earth. We are from another Earth................You really say a lot of bullshit, don't you? I'm outta here.”
“Hello Daniel................You knew I would turn on my ham radio today, just out of curiosity, didn't you?............…Yes Daniel................I thought about what you said yesterday. We had Theoretical Physicists who used to explain the multidimensional Universes in terms of parallels. The funny thing is, they used to call it Parallel Universe Theory!...............I know Daniel.…............Before I get into that, I want to ask you a simple question. Did you destroy mankind?…............No one is dead Daniel.…............Then why can't I raise anyone on my short wave radio?…............Our essence has merged with humanity's essence .…............What does that mean? You are somehow possessing everyone's body?…............Our essence has merged with humanity's essence................OK, if you won't answer that question, tell me why you had to merge with humanity?…............To stop you from destroying your planet.…............Too late. It's gone.…............No Daniel. Your planet is still here. Your way of life has been destroyed.... .…........If you are from a different Parallel Universe as you say, why worry about what happens to us?…............To save our planet............... I don't understand. What does destroying our planet have to do with destroying your planet?…............Simply explained in your unsophisticated Quantum Mechanical definition of Parallel Universes. Which is, Universes are separated from each other by a single quantum event. …............I understand the definition, explain it on how it applies here.…............Daniel, you make a decision to turn right as you walk, another Daniel in another Universe goes straight, another Daniel turns left in his Parallel Universe, for every possibility in your life there is a Daniel going in every possible direction. I am the Daniel who has managed total enlightenment. So I am able to interact with each Daniel.…............OK? So you are saying, because you are enlightened, that should explain how you are able to travel from your Universe to any Universe or I should say, from Dimension to Dimension, so you can communicate with me or any parallel Daniel. …............Yes.…............But you keep avoiding my initial question of, why? Why come here to stop us from destroying our planet?................ I can only explain it in terms your primitive mind can understand. With an analogy to your simple understanding of Quantum Mechanics. Your Finest Grand Pianos have 236 strings to them. Each string represents a Universe right next to one another, but those Universes are not unique, but mirror images of each other, as in your Parallel Universe Theory. Each Earth, from every Universe, is next to one another on the same point in time on each different string. All strings on the piano are wound extremely tight and are placed just far enough away from one another as not to touch. Yet if one Earth destroys itself, it is like breaking one of those piano strings. That string, no longer has its expected tension across the Universal Parallel Bridge, which holds all the strings. The gravitational effect will act like a vacuum on the space-time continuum. Pulling surrounding strings in to fill the void.…............I'm listening, but I have hundreds of equations telling me you are handing me a line of bull.…............Then look at the strings as having magnets representing all the Stars, planets, moons, or anything else having a gravitational force to it. They face each other with opposite magnetic poles. These opposite magnetic fields push on each other keeping the membrane of each string from touching one another. If you take away, or eliminate one of the magnetic forces on a string, the space-time becomes flat, or ineffectual in that part of the Universe. There is nothing to hold back the magnetic forces from either side of the flat membrane from attracting one another. This attraction eventually punches a White Hole into the ineffectual membrane, creating Black Holes on the two opposite Universes. Eventually causing a ripple effect through all the Parallel Universes, destroying all that once was there in all parallels.…............For my simple understanding, you're saying, I have three pieces of paper with a magnet attached to each one, pushing themselves away from each other. If I take the middle magnet out of the equation the other two will attract each other, pulling themselves into the middle piece of paper. Which creates a White Hole on the center page and creating two Black Holes on the other two pages.…............Simply speaking............. ...Has this ever happened before, elsewhere in the Universe?................ Yes................Then why haven't we ever observed a Galaxy with two Black Holes?...............We continually prevent it from ever happening in our Galaxy................ But the Cosmo is evolving all the time. How can you stop changes in the different Universes in every dimension? …............We are not. We only effect what will affect us if we do nothing.…............So you are trying to tell me, if this Earth would destroy itself, eventually the void would cause a wave of destruction among all the Earths in every dimension?…............Yes.…............And how long will this take, to destroy all the Earths?…............As measured by Earth's rotation around the Sun. One point three billion years.…..............Why the hell do you care what happens in 1.3 billion years?…............It is calculated that our world will be the first to become a Black Hole.…............Why not move?…............It is our home.…............You've got to be kidding me?…............It is our home.. .…..........For being enlightened, you guys sure seem to be pretty sentimental about your home planet. …............It is our home................ Why are you telling me all of this?…............We want you to come out to the surface so you can be cleansed with your planet.…............What do you mean, cleansed?…............So the pessimistic virus you carry in your mind will not affect the ones who have been cleansed.…............I don't like the way that sounds!…............We want you to come out to the surface so you can be cleansed with your planet. …............What if I don't?…............We want you to come out to the surface so you can be cleansed with your planet.…............How come you can't reach me in my habitat? Why do you need me to come to the surface?................ We want you to come out to the surface so you can be cleansed with your planet.…............It must be something inside the structure of the habitat I created for the Europa Moon Mission, isn't it! You can't reach me in here, can you?…............We want you to come out to the surface so you can be cleansed with your planet.…............And now you won't answer any of my questions!…............We want you to come out to the surface so you can be cleansed with your planet.…............You're still not telling me everything. I think I'll listen to the recordings I just made of our conversation and talk to you tomorrow................It is the truth Daniel................If you think I'm going to believe that bunch of bull, you are sadly mistaken. What a bunch of crap.…............It is the truth Daniel................You know what I think? I think it's a lot simpler than that. It's as simple as having a dislike for doppelgängers in other dimensions................Daniel, it is the truth................Yeah, right............. ...It is the truth. ...............Daniel?...............It is the truth................ Daniel?...............”
“Hello Daniel.…............Wow, you must have been listening to my broadcasts for a while, since you obviously know my routine so well.…............We want you to come out to the surface so you can be cleansed with your planet.…........…....Oh, that again. Tell me something. Why didn't you just let me kill myself the other day instead of trying to convince me to come out of my bunker?…............We are not here to kill human beings. Our essence has merged with humanity's essence.…............Yeah, that merging of essence has me a little worried and wondering what you're really up to!…........….We want you to come out to the surface so you can be cleansed with your planet.…............Cleansing and merging. I'm not so sure you are really telling me the whole truth! …............ Daniel! This is not a child's game we are playing here! It is vital that you come out now to the surface so you can be cleansed with your planet!…............You see, I don't think you're telling me the whole truth, the real, because of how you've changed over the last few days! I've noticed that from the first day, when you only spoke two words in a monotone voice, that you are now using our English grammar more fluently and with a lot of emotion to it! I'm wondering if you are not some kind of child yourself. Just now understanding how the human race thinks and you're growing bolder as you gain more knowledge. You talk about cleansing the human race. Our planet's history has also had many tyrant Dictators who wanted to cleanse this or that race who they felt were inferior. They wanted to eliminate those people from our Planet. And right about now I'm thinking you are not as superior, or as friendly as you say.…............Don't be so absurd! You are but a microorganism to us on the evolutionary scale!…............Well, well! For someone who is here to merge with us humans, I believe your lack of a calm superior attitude is showing.…............Daniel if you don't come out we cannot help you. You will be alone. …............ So, you want to help this protoplasm. So I won't be alone? …............ Daniel, we will be leaving shortly. You must come out now and be cleansed with your planet. Time is of the essences.…............I don't think so! I believe you sent an EM Field which crippled our planet's defenses so you could implement whatever vulgar deviant plan you have for mankind. You knew chaos would ensue once all electronic devices were destroyed and then you could have your way with the survivors... .….........Daniel, you are becoming paranoid.…............What have you really done with the World's population?…............Daniel, you must come out now so you can be cleansed with your planet.…............I believe I'm actually going to watch some old reruns of my favorite TV show and listen to some music for a month or so. Then, if you are still around, maybe you'll give me some honest answers. Over and out!…............Hello Daniel................ Daniel?................ Daniele?.......... ......”
“Hi, this is Cat Sands, or Catherine Sands. Call letters W-M-E-X. I'm broadcasting from a substation out in the Mojave Desert for a Spanish speaking FM radio station covering the Las Vegas, Nevada area. I had two other companions here with me, both engineers, but I'm alone now. Each one of them decided to go to Vegas, on separate occasions, to evaluate what the conditions were like in the city. I was hoping they would bring back food and supplies. Neither one has returned. I have rigged up an ancient short wave radio and rewired a gas generator so I am able to broadcast once again. Please contact me at this frequency. This message will automatically repeat itself every half-hour. Please contact me. Let me know I'm not alone!”
Hello Catherine.…............Is someone really there?…............Hello Catherine.…............Is that a woman's voice I hear?...............Hello Catherine................Finally, after all this time! Yes, this is Cat Sands. Who am I speaking with?…............Hello Catherine.”
This is,Hoping Aliens Are A Little More Friendly Than My Imagination,Jim Hauenstein,
And,
“Do you ever wonder if--well, if there are people living on the third planet? The third planet is incapable of supporting life, stated the husband patiently. Our scientists have said there's far too much oxygen in their atmosphere.”
- Ray Bradbury, -
That is my story and I am sticking to it!
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