Chris Rodell's Blog, page 99
July 30, 2014
July Tweets of the Month
I swear there were times this month when I thought, man, this is going to be my best tweet month ever! It was not to be. I think because every time I thought of a good, snappy tweet I was far from an internet connection and the thought fled my mind before I could jot it down. That’s okay. They’ll eventually come back and I reduced the risk of looking like a distracted jerk by tweeting the in
July 29, 2014
Correcting the family vacation detox
(699 words)
I hear it’s common for fathers on their deathbeds to lament they didn’t spend more time with their children.
That’s not me. I foresee my deathbed regret being I didn’t spend more time watching TV.
I wonder if I’d have agreed to the deal if someone had warned me just how much parenting would cut into my TV viewing. There’s so many shows I want to watch, so much sports I want
I hear it’s common for fathers on their deathbeds to lament they didn’t spend more time with their children.
That’s not me. I foresee my deathbed regret being I didn’t spend more time watching TV.
I wonder if I’d have agreed to the deal if someone had warned me just how much parenting would cut into my TV viewing. There’s so many shows I want to watch, so much sports I want
July 28, 2014
Back to blogging: When a day at the beach is a day at the beach
(708 words)
One of the most exasperating aspects about my blogtending is realizing how my readership increases whenever I don’t blog.
It happened again last week when I took my longest sabbatical ever. We were at the Outer Banks and I didn’t once for seven full days try and compose a single blog. In six years I’d never previously gone more than four days.
Yet last week my readership
One of the most exasperating aspects about my blogtending is realizing how my readership increases whenever I don’t blog.
It happened again last week when I took my longest sabbatical ever. We were at the Outer Banks and I didn’t once for seven full days try and compose a single blog. In six years I’d never previously gone more than four days.
Yet last week my readership
July 20, 2014
Ho! Ho! Ho! Sunday rerun! Christmas in July is Friday!
I’m taking the unusual step of informing you of one of my favorite “holidays” five days in advance to give you time to plan something. Anything. Even a little nothing will make a difference. Yes, Friday is Christmas in July! The surprise in my family is gone and now my greedy little darlings are awash in crass expectation. That ruins it a bit for me. But not for you! Try and throw together a
July 18, 2014
12 reasons you should listen to me & McIntire on KDKA Saturday nite
(872 words)
John McIntire invited me to appear on his KDKA-AM 1020 radio program Saturday at 9 p.m., as if “appearing” on radio is a metaphysical possibility. Here are some reasons why you might want to tune in to the streamer link.
• We won’t discuss anything depressing. John’s not going to ask me my opinions on the bloody conflict in Gaza, the downed Malaysian jetliner or how the
John McIntire invited me to appear on his KDKA-AM 1020 radio program Saturday at 9 p.m., as if “appearing” on radio is a metaphysical possibility. Here are some reasons why you might want to tune in to the streamer link.
• We won’t discuss anything depressing. John’s not going to ask me my opinions on the bloody conflict in Gaza, the downed Malaysian jetliner or how the
July 17, 2014
On chicken fingers, chicken breasts & chicken nipples
(725 words)
I always make a point anytime we’re out at some family restaurant to ask the waitress if she has chicken fingers. The answer is always yes.
“Oh, you’re being too hard on yourself,” I say. “Your fingers are ugly, but they still appear human!”
I do this knowing it embarrasses my family and ups the odds my order will now be seasoned with waitress spit.
Chicken fingers are
I always make a point anytime we’re out at some family restaurant to ask the waitress if she has chicken fingers. The answer is always yes.
“Oh, you’re being too hard on yourself,” I say. “Your fingers are ugly, but they still appear human!”
I do this knowing it embarrasses my family and ups the odds my order will now be seasoned with waitress spit.
Chicken fingers are
July 15, 2014
A back 'n' forth on palindromes
(694 words)
I’ve said previously that for the sake of clarity “palindrome” should be spelled palindromemordnilap.
That way people would never forget a palindrome is a word spelled the same forwards as backwards.
I bring this up today because I heard an ABBA song — “Waterloo” — on my morning stumble through the grocery store and immediately thought, as I always do, “Here’s a song by the
I’ve said previously that for the sake of clarity “palindrome” should be spelled palindromemordnilap.
That way people would never forget a palindrome is a word spelled the same forwards as backwards.
I bring this up today because I heard an ABBA song — “Waterloo” — on my morning stumble through the grocery store and immediately thought, as I always do, “Here’s a song by the
July 14, 2014
Soccer beats NFL, but can't lick splinkton
(896 words)
Let me begin with a difficult admission. I was wrong last month about soccer.
I mostly enjoyed the World Cup and congratulate Germany for achieving an aspect of global domination that doesn't make history-minded pacifists like me nervous.
I’ll never love soccer the way I do, say, baseball or hockey, but I’m now convinced futbol will surpass football in America within 10
Let me begin with a difficult admission. I was wrong last month about soccer.
I mostly enjoyed the World Cup and congratulate Germany for achieving an aspect of global domination that doesn't make history-minded pacifists like me nervous.
I’ll never love soccer the way I do, say, baseball or hockey, but I’m now convinced futbol will surpass football in America within 10
July 13, 2014
Re-run Sunday: A toast to ice
Still not too late to impress your neighbors by planning your 200th birthday for ice next November. Yes, ice is only 199 years old. Not the kind you find in nature. No, the kind you put in the glass. The essential ice.
Not sure if it’ll be warm where you are this week, but here from summer 2012 is a story about the genius who in 1815 invented ice as we know it.
Mark your calendars
Not sure if it’ll be warm where you are this week, but here from summer 2012 is a story about the genius who in 1815 invented ice as we know it.
Mark your calendars
July 11, 2014
Cheers! My bartending stint is over
(692 words)
Well, cancel the tour buses bound for Latrobe. Tell TMZ they’re too late. The great Chris Rodell Bartender experiment is over. My brief tenure has come to an abrupt end. They were six of the best nights of my life.
Well, six of the best sober nights of my life.
How did I find out? Did a co-worker spill the beans?
No — and Pond beans, by the way, are the best damn beans
Well, cancel the tour buses bound for Latrobe. Tell TMZ they’re too late. The great Chris Rodell Bartender experiment is over. My brief tenure has come to an abrupt end. They were six of the best nights of my life.
Well, six of the best sober nights of my life.
How did I find out? Did a co-worker spill the beans?
No — and Pond beans, by the way, are the best damn beans
