Chris Rodell's Blog, page 56
June 19, 2016
Why Father's Day always makes me blue (from '11)
I’m not sure why Father’s Day always makes me blue.
A writer’s website asked me to compose a short piece about Father’s Day. I know I’m destined to disappoint them.
I think they’d like me to write a literary cheerleader about how much I love the day when I can bask in the affections of my daughters and how that one day keystones the central role of my existence.
I just can’t do it.
A writer’s website asked me to compose a short piece about Father’s Day. I know I’m destined to disappoint them.
I think they’d like me to write a literary cheerleader about how much I love the day when I can bask in the affections of my daughters and how that one day keystones the central role of my existence.
I just can’t do it.
June 18, 2016
Father's Day: Forever in Blue Jeans" ('09)
I knew I’d taken another leap toward insanity when I stared into the dresser drawer, the one dedicated to denim, saw six pairs of nearly identical blue jeans and thought: “Hmmm, maybe it's time to spring for another pair of blue jeans.”
And it’s true. I do need another pair.
I have my church blue jeans, my casual dress up blue jeans, my outdoor work blue jeans, and my trusty bar
And it’s true. I do need another pair.
I have my church blue jeans, my casual dress up blue jeans, my outdoor work blue jeans, and my trusty bar
June 16, 2016
Where I'll be speaking next 6 weeks
(659 words)
• June 21, Altoona Rotary, Calvin House, noon
• June 23, Allegheny County Good Fellas luncheon, Atrias, Peters Township, noon
• June 27, City Books, North Side, Pittsburgh, 7:30
• June 28, Ohio County Library, Wheeling, noon
• July 7, Reynoldsville Library, The Foundry, noon
• July 16, Classic Lines Books, Squirrel Hill, 4 p.m.
• August 8, South Side Chamber
• June 21, Altoona Rotary, Calvin House, noon
• June 23, Allegheny County Good Fellas luncheon, Atrias, Peters Township, noon
• June 27, City Books, North Side, Pittsburgh, 7:30
• June 28, Ohio County Library, Wheeling, noon
• July 7, Reynoldsville Library, The Foundry, noon
• July 16, Classic Lines Books, Squirrel Hill, 4 p.m.
• August 8, South Side Chamber
June 15, 2016
Rooster Risings: Alarm clock alternatives (from '11)
Being sensitive to any potential feelings, I try not to refer to our bedroom timepiece as an “alarm clock,” but rather “the clock that sometimes alarms.”
I don’t feel knee-jerk alarm anytime I look at it. Instead, I usually feel an annoyance of the awareness that time, like the lives of the people I love most, is essentially beyond my control.
I wish instead of a snooze button it had
I don’t feel knee-jerk alarm anytime I look at it. Instead, I usually feel an annoyance of the awareness that time, like the lives of the people I love most, is essentially beyond my control.
I wish instead of a snooze button it had
June 14, 2016
Full body transplant & why I'd want body of a black female
(630 words)
A 62-year-old former gas company worker in Harbin, China, has volunteered for a daring new procedure to remedy the cruel quadriplegia he suffered in a wrestling accident.
He wants an entirely new body for his fully-functional head.
This is just a guess, but I’ll bet he wants wants one that can kick the ass of the opponent who injured him.
The N.Y. Times said Chinese
A 62-year-old former gas company worker in Harbin, China, has volunteered for a daring new procedure to remedy the cruel quadriplegia he suffered in a wrestling accident.
He wants an entirely new body for his fully-functional head.
This is just a guess, but I’ll bet he wants wants one that can kick the ass of the opponent who injured him.
The N.Y. Times said Chinese
June 13, 2016
A day of light & darkness; Pens win & mourning Orlando
(862 words)
Page one editors at my old newspaper made a mistake in today’s editions: They chose darkness over light.
The darkness is the Orlando shootings.
The light is the Penguins last night winning their fourth Stanley Cup.
The front page was given over to the shooting. There was a huge picture of the mayhem, a scary headline and a big block of print recounting all the gory
Page one editors at my old newspaper made a mistake in today’s editions: They chose darkness over light.
The darkness is the Orlando shootings.
The light is the Penguins last night winning their fourth Stanley Cup.
The front page was given over to the shooting. There was a huge picture of the mayhem, a scary headline and a big block of print recounting all the gory
June 10, 2016
Of chicken fingers, breasts and nipples (from '14)
(725 words)
I always make a point anytime we’re out at some family restaurant to ask the waitress if she has chicken fingers. The answer is always yes.
“Oh, you’re being too hard on yourself,” I say. “Your fingers are ugly, but they still appear human!”
I do this knowing it embarrasses my family and ups the odds my order will now be seasoned with waitress spit.
Chicken fingers are
I always make a point anytime we’re out at some family restaurant to ask the waitress if she has chicken fingers. The answer is always yes.
“Oh, you’re being too hard on yourself,” I say. “Your fingers are ugly, but they still appear human!”
I do this knowing it embarrasses my family and ups the odds my order will now be seasoned with waitress spit.
Chicken fingers are
June 8, 2016
I'm going to Game 5
(785 words)
Mental alarm bells went off last week when an eagle-eyed buddy texted me a simple question. He wanted to know my age.
He’s Dave, a very careful and enthusiastic reader. He’s the guy who ceases reading the blog cold turkey for about two months every summer so he’ll have an ample backlog to read in his tree stand every fall while he’s waiting to shoot things like cold turkey.
Mental alarm bells went off last week when an eagle-eyed buddy texted me a simple question. He wanted to know my age.
He’s Dave, a very careful and enthusiastic reader. He’s the guy who ceases reading the blog cold turkey for about two months every summer so he’ll have an ample backlog to read in his tree stand every fall while he’s waiting to shoot things like cold turkey.
June 7, 2016
Knowing when to quit & striving for The Perfect Gleason
(965 words)
By now, many have you have heard how I end my popular “Crayons!” presentations. It’s no big secret.
After about an hour of laughs, stories and emotional surprises, I always wrap it up with the following (imagine me really hamming it up):
“I’m now going to do something you’ll never see J.K. Rowling, John Grisham or any of the other famous authors do. I’m going to tell you
By now, many have you have heard how I end my popular “Crayons!” presentations. It’s no big secret.
After about an hour of laughs, stories and emotional surprises, I always wrap it up with the following (imagine me really hamming it up):
“I’m now going to do something you’ll never see J.K. Rowling, John Grisham or any of the other famous authors do. I’m going to tell you
June 6, 2016
8,180
(755 words)
That’s the number of people who checked in to read “Eight Days To Amish” in May.
It’s second only to the 8,544 who registered in April 2010 after a history website flattered (and linked) to my story about Boston Corbett, America’s most famous eunuch and the man who killed the man who killed Abraham Lincoln.
That seemed like a freak. The month before I’d had only 3,681
That’s the number of people who checked in to read “Eight Days To Amish” in May.
It’s second only to the 8,544 who registered in April 2010 after a history website flattered (and linked) to my story about Boston Corbett, America’s most famous eunuch and the man who killed the man who killed Abraham Lincoln.
That seemed like a freak. The month before I’d had only 3,681
