Chris Rodell's Blog, page 106

Potty talk about bathroom euphemisms

(697 words)

I seldom bath nor bathe in a bathroom, never rest in restroom, but I once did play a little bass in a basement.



I’ve done a lot of living in living rooms and have enjoyed being bedded in bedrooms.



Anymore calling the main room in the house the “living room” is even kind of stretch anymore, isn’t it? It’s usually the big TV room. In fact, we live in an age where our TVs are

Saturday, my most humiliating book signing ever!

(853 words)

I’ve crowed about my successes, the loot I’ve made and how book signings featuring me and “Use All The Crayons!” have illuminated my path to authorial fame and fortune.



So I guess it’s only fair for me to share the news when one’s a real stinker. And, boy, Saturday’s was a real stinker.



Or maybe not.



Not a single nose capable of detecting an odor showed up.



In keeping

Sunday encore: A sexy ode to Heinz ketchup (2011)

So how do I pick which stories to showcase on Sundays? Usually, it’s when the stats page shows me that some old post has been organically drawing a audience all on its own. It often happens for no apparent reason. Like why would anyone on earth pick up on this story about the speed of ketchup from Oct. 2011? It makes no sense. But more than 50 people latched onto this story this week and

The last angry man(ager): MLB's replay mistake

(774 words)

My enjoyment of the first week of professional baseball has been interrupted by a technological advance about which I’ve grown apprehensive. I’m not quite sure if it’s something I like or not.



So let’s got to replay!



Or, better still, let’s not.



The 2014 MLB season’s four days old and I already sense adding instant replay’s a mistake.



Critics said replay challenges

Best tweets from last month were, "ehh"

My November and December tweets of the month featured more than 65 items each. For eight weeks, I was on fire. Alas, the fire has extinguished. This month’s 8days2amish haul is just 24 and, really, they’re not that great.



Ah, Twitter muse, you are fickle damsel.



I tried to weed out the really crappy ones and most of these are decent. Still, when I have a down month like this I always

I have no middle name (and how F. Murray Abraham got his enigmatic F.)

(704 words)

We’re immersed in so many complicated TV shows right now I sometimes have trouble keeping all the dense plots straight.



It happens with “Walking Dead,” “Justified,” and “Dexter,” and it happened again last night with “Homeland.”



We were catching up on the second season and I found myself trying to remember if Brody’s good or evil, if Carrie’s on or off her meds, and just

April 1st not foolish enough

(737 words)

America will be better off when people spend as much time preparing for April Fool’s Day as they do for stuffy holidays like Thanksgiving.



Everyone could take the day off. Instead of watching tedious professional football games we could watch reruns of shows like “Get Smart” and “3rd Rock From The Sun.”



We could still enjoy a big family feast, but mixed in amidst the

April 1 not foolish enough

(737 words)

America will be better off when people spend as much time preparing for April Fool’s Day as they do for stuffy holidays like Thanksgiving.



Everyone could take the day off. Instead of watching tedious professional football games we could watch reruns of shows like “Get Smart” and “3rd Rock From The Sun.”



We could still enjoy a big family feast, but mixed in amidst the

My wild and wussy weekend

(961 words)

I can always tell when I do something that disappoints my friends my wife will be elated and vice versa. It’s very difficult for a convivial family man to do anything simultaneously satisfying to both demographics.



So this weekend was in some ways sort of a wash for me.



On the downside I disappointed my friend. On the upside, I avoided being murdered by someone who 25 years

Re-Run Sunday: My first adult content post (from '10)!

This story from January ’10 still gets a steady readership from budding deviants. It’s not for me. I don’t think Val would let me anyway. And that's a bit of a relief. "Palang" sounds painful.





(1,239 words)

It’s about 12-degrees out right now and I’m thinking about having sex on the sunny beaches of Cebu in the Philippines.



Not right now.



I’m thinking about 500 years ago.