Chris Rodell's Blog, page 105
April 22, 2014
Chewin' on Earth Day and warm worm poo
(691 words)
My wife couldn’t believe the contempt I was expressing for my audience. “You mean you’re just going to tell them the same stories you tell them every year?”
That’s right.
“What if someone complains?
If someone complains, well, they can just eat shit.
Or boogers, although I promise to bring enough shit for everyone.
Yes, it’s that’s time of year again. I’m bringing all my
My wife couldn’t believe the contempt I was expressing for my audience. “You mean you’re just going to tell them the same stories you tell them every year?”
That’s right.
“What if someone complains?
If someone complains, well, they can just eat shit.
Or boogers, although I promise to bring enough shit for everyone.
Yes, it’s that’s time of year again. I’m bringing all my
April 21, 2014
Easter round-up: Springsteen, peeps, Pens & Portland pee
(955 words)
• I checked and unless I’m mistaken it’ll be one year exactly Thursday since I’ve done one of these lazy blog round-ups. That’s where I can’t think of a single central idea strong enough to carry me through 750 or so words so I just riff on a bunch of stories. Why I’m reluctant to do more I don’t know. The numbers go up when I post one and people tell me they’re a nice,
• I checked and unless I’m mistaken it’ll be one year exactly Thursday since I’ve done one of these lazy blog round-ups. That’s where I can’t think of a single central idea strong enough to carry me through 750 or so words so I just riff on a bunch of stories. Why I’m reluctant to do more I don’t know. The numbers go up when I post one and people tell me they’re a nice,
April 18, 2014
What God says when Jesus sneezes (and other worldly thoughts)
(850 words)
I without fail announce a cheerful “God bless you!” anytime I hear someone sneeze, even though I know it’s almost always a tactical mistake.
Because no one ever sneezes just once and it gets awkward if you keep chanting, “God bless you!” every time someone sneezes seven or eight times in a row and everyone is praying you’ll just stop spraying snot all around the room.
Maybe
I without fail announce a cheerful “God bless you!” anytime I hear someone sneeze, even though I know it’s almost always a tactical mistake.
Because no one ever sneezes just once and it gets awkward if you keep chanting, “God bless you!” every time someone sneezes seven or eight times in a row and everyone is praying you’ll just stop spraying snot all around the room.
Maybe
April 16, 2014
Men getting hosed by low testosterone ads
(753 words)
With every commercial I become more fearful for the future. Levels are rising to dangerous heights. Things are getting hotter.
Too much global warming?
No.
Too much testosterone!
We are in the midst of a cresting wave of commercials during sporting events that tell male viewers they are suffering from low testosterone. They imply everything will be rosy if we just got
With every commercial I become more fearful for the future. Levels are rising to dangerous heights. Things are getting hotter.
Too much global warming?
No.
Too much testosterone!
We are in the midst of a cresting wave of commercials during sporting events that tell male viewers they are suffering from low testosterone. They imply everything will be rosy if we just got
April 15, 2014
Me on TV & the day Palmer's people offered me a $70,000 job
(1,489 words)
I knew when the phone started going off at about 10:52 p.m. last night I’d made the cut. Friends from around the country were calling to say they’d seen me near the very end of the second installment of the Golf Channel’s wonderful biopic on Arnold Palmer.
It concludes tonight at 10 p.m.
We’d DVRd it and were about 10 minutes behind. So it was very exciting.
Sure,
I knew when the phone started going off at about 10:52 p.m. last night I’d made the cut. Friends from around the country were calling to say they’d seen me near the very end of the second installment of the Golf Channel’s wonderful biopic on Arnold Palmer.
It concludes tonight at 10 p.m.
We’d DVRd it and were about 10 minutes behind. So it was very exciting.
Sure,
April 14, 2014
When stinkbug constellations are stellar
I know some of you may be checking into today to read my thoughts about the splendid “Arnie” show continuing tonight and tomorrow on Golf Channel. It’s been great, so far, but I believe in the next day or so I’ll be forced to address an egregious error on the otherwise meticulous show — and it involves me!
So if you came here today expecting Palmer, sorry. You’ll have to instead settle for
So if you came here today expecting Palmer, sorry. You’ll have to instead settle for
April 13, 2014
"Arnie" spoiler alert: I'm on it
. . . and so is Bill Clinton. And Donald Trump. And Kate Upton! You can check out the alphabetically-ordered list right here. I’m consider myself among the more prominent names on the list if for no other reason than mine will be the name that most people will look at and say, “Who the hell is Chris Rodell?”
So that’s really cool.
I have no idea when I’ll be on or for how long, but I’m
So that’s really cool.
I have no idea when I’ll be on or for how long, but I’m
April 11, 2014
Our big bear's back again
(764 words)
It’s a nerve-rattling event we’ve come to expect every year about this time. The little duel suet feeder hung up outside the big picture window begins to jingle on a windless night.
The bears are back.
We’ve lived up in the woods for seven years now and we see a bear or two — sometimes a whole family — about once or twice every year. It never fails to excite.
This time
It’s a nerve-rattling event we’ve come to expect every year about this time. The little duel suet feeder hung up outside the big picture window begins to jingle on a windless night.
The bears are back.
We’ve lived up in the woods for seven years now and we see a bear or two — sometimes a whole family — about once or twice every year. It never fails to excite.
This time
April 10, 2014
Latrobe abuzz: Who'll appear in Palmer bio? (besides Palmer)
(692 words)
I wonder if Arnold Palmer’s as nervous about the three-night bio-extravaganza devoted to his life as I am about possibly appearing for maybe 20 seconds in the Golf Channel program.
I doubt it.
Some of you may will recall my August stories when I wrote the network was in Latrobe to film Palmer stories.
I mistakenly thought it would be cheesy filler for around Palmer’s
I wonder if Arnold Palmer’s as nervous about the three-night bio-extravaganza devoted to his life as I am about possibly appearing for maybe 20 seconds in the Golf Channel program.
I doubt it.
Some of you may will recall my August stories when I wrote the network was in Latrobe to film Palmer stories.
I mistakenly thought it would be cheesy filler for around Palmer’s
April 8, 2014
Potty talk about bathroom euphemisms
(697 words)
I seldom bath nor bathe in a bathroom, never rest in restroom, but I once did play a little bass in a basement.
I’ve done a lot of living in living rooms and have enjoyed being bedded in bedrooms.
Anymore calling the main room in the house the “living room” is even kind of stretch anymore, isn’t it? It’s usually the big TV room. In fact, we live in an age where our TVs are
I seldom bath nor bathe in a bathroom, never rest in restroom, but I once did play a little bass in a basement.
I’ve done a lot of living in living rooms and have enjoyed being bedded in bedrooms.
Anymore calling the main room in the house the “living room” is even kind of stretch anymore, isn’t it? It’s usually the big TV room. In fact, we live in an age where our TVs are
