Rani Bora's Blog

Are Our Children Okay?

Children and young people of today seem to be less resilient and mentally healthy than they used to be a few years ago. Statistics reveal that one in ten aged 5 to 16 suffers some form of mental health problems.

A year ago, I had self-published my book: “How To Turn Stress on Its Head – the simple truth that can change your relationship with work.” We chose to release the book on the 6th of October to mark #WorldMentalHealthday2017, the theme of which was “wellbeing at the workplace”. I have received much encouraging feedback from readers of the book from the UK and other parts of the world.

{Read about the book and reviews here: https://amzn.to/2OjqU7Z}

This year #WorldMentalHealthday2018 falls on the 10th of October. The theme is “Young People and Mental Health in a changing world”. I want to share something that can have long-term implications for the health and well-being of our next generation, something that underpins my work with all young people.

I’m a psychiatrist in private practice and a mental wellbeing coach. I take an educational approach when it comes to mental health and wellbeing. There are a lot of suggestions shared on social media about what needs to happen for young people’s mental health to improve and for them to be more resilient.

Of course the government, policy makers, mental health services, health professionals, the general public, you and me, we all need to look at existing good practices and do the best we can to support people in emotional distress. Most importantly, we need to have open and honest conversations about what’s not working any longer at this time. We also need to consider how best to make changes at the grass-roots level focussing on preventative work. There is a need for radical change in our thinking about wellbeing and resilience.

Let’s face it, many of us are concerned about the state of affairs and wish to see a reduction in mental-health crises in our young people.

In our attempt to make positive changes, innocently and unintentionally we may be giving out the message that young people suffering from mental health issues are broken and need to be fixed.

It may not be apparent to us, that at a fundamental level we are all “deeply okay” even if we are suffering psychologically.
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There are some prevailing myths about mental health. I have tried to list five common myths in an earlier blog post.

It seems as if wellbeing comes and goes, that when a young person is profoundly distressed, wellbeing has gone away.

What if true wellbeing is innate and constant?

When I say our wellbeing is innate and constant, I’m referring to our true-self. Our true self is not broken and does not come and go. The true self gets hidden from our view sometimes by thick clouds, the clouds being part of the human weather and the human weather a part of the human condition itself.

Bad things and unfortunate events do happen and young people will get hurt. But it is important to point out that even the most unfortunate circumstances from the past or evil deeds inflicted by other people do not have the power to scar a young person’s true self. What if we were to start pointing young people to this truth?

Dr Amy Johnson, a psychologist and life coach from the US, uses a beautiful metaphor of our true-self being the sky and the clouds our everchanging thoughts and feelings. Invariably we fall for the illusion that we are our thoughts, emotions, behaviour, actions and habits. You can watch the video here:

My core message for this year’s World Mental Health Day is for us to look in a new direction of hope and possibilities.

Rather than looking for quick fixes, let’s start looking at a long-term solution – a preventative, educational approach whereby we point young people back to their innate resilience and wellbeing.

Instead of investing more time and energy firefighting and targeting symptoms of distress and challenging behaviours, we need to start focusing on understanding the common causes of mental turmoil, symptoms and challenging behaviours.

In my psychiatry practice, I note some standard features in every individual struggling with mental health issues such as…

– Trying hard to resist, fight, let-go of distressing thoughts and feelings.

– Overthinking and analysing their life’s challenges, and seeking a solution desperately.

– Believing their stressful and distressing thoughts as if they were the reality rather than their perception and experience of reality.

– Feeling fearful and judging their experiences critically.

– Implementing coping strategies relentlessly to fix their painful experiences.

– Feeling they have to act on their critical and scary thoughts as these often seem very loud and overpowering.

In addition to using the core skills I have learnt as a psychiatrist, I take time to educate young people about the workings of the mind. I explain that the mind projects our thoughts (whether visible to us or not) and makes them seem extremely real. Because we have an embodied physiological response to any thought/feeling we have in a particular moment, we forget that all our psychological experiences are temporary.

My job as a well-being coach is to direct young people to their true-self, beyond their illness labels and sufferings. As I observe them get a glimpse of their true self and begin to understand how the mind works, their mental anguish and suffering start to diminish. Most young people report feeling “like myself” again.

If you are interested and keen to engage in a new conversation about mental health and well-being in young people, join several inspiring speakers and me for the first conference of its kind “Resilient Young Minds” in Ivybridge, Plymouth on 22-23 November 2018. The event will also be broadcast live online. For more details and ticket booking – visit the event page here.

I hope you have found this useful. I look forward to hearing your views and projects you are involved with in guiding our young people to find what is innate in them – their true nature, love, their wellbeing…

With love and hope,

5 Greatest Myths of Mental Health

Mental health problems are a growing public health concern. More than ever before, it has become a topic of great interest with better discourse and coverage in the media.

Health services in Britain are struggling to cope with the demand for services. It is encouraging to see several community initiatives (e.g. Heads Together) aimed at breaking the silence and stigma around mental ill-health.

But, can we be hopeful that good mental health can be experienced and enjoyed by everyone?

Get the  FULL VIDEO of my live presentation
“Dealing With Stress At Work – A New Paradigm”

As a junior doctor, I developed an interest in psychiatry. I wanted to connect with people and alleviate their psychological suffering. Alongside my studies and training in clinical psychiatry, I got drawn into the world of personal development and self-help. I was looking for better answers to the age-old question of how best we can manage psychological pain and suffering.

I felt that something quite fundamental was missing in the way I was trained to understand and ‘treat’ psychological issues.

I had tried my best to be a psychiatrist focussed on the recovery of my patients, working on people’s strengths and holding hope for them. I tried to apply my coaching skills at work albeit with limited success. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for people and shared their sense of hopelessness.

I didn’t believe everyone could recover. I wished they would, but I saw them as ‘PSYCHOLOGICALLY BROKEN’ given their prolonged ill-health, lifestyle issues and their inability to function independently. After all, some of the people I was working with had major mental illnesses and had been unwell for a long time despite receiving ‘evidence-based treatments’ of the time.

I didn’t have any easy answers to their problems! My search for that elusive ‘missing link’ continued.

I finally came to the understanding of Innate Health and Resilience (The Three Principles, as described by Sydney Banks). During a coaching session based on this understanding, I woke up to a fresh insight that gradually transformed my practice of psychiatry and how I would subsequently see people with issues of the mind. I was shocked to realise – that I had been trying to fix something for my patients that was not even broken in the first place.

Thankfully, now a majority of my clients recover with minimal or no psychotropic medicines or intensive psychological work.

The term ‘psychiatry’ was coined by Johann Christian Reil, a German physician and literally translates to – medical treatment of the soul. That’s certainly a tall order, but worth bearing in mind.

I’d been reflecting on some of the greatest myths about mental health that I had fallen for in the past.

 

Here are my 5 greatest myths about mental health
Myth #1: Mental illness is the absence of mental health.

One of the commonest myths is that people with mental illness of any kind lack mental health and those of us who are lucky enough not to have attracted a diagnosis of mental illness (yet!) are enjoying good mental health. The assumption is also that mental health is never static, that it is ever-changing.

When people say mental health is never static, they perhaps refer to our variable states of mind and human experience. States of mind are never static. That’s part of being human. On a single day and even in a single hour, we can have a range of experiences and emotions. However, mental health is innate, the same in all of us and doesn’t change.

What I refer to as innate is formless and hence spiritual in nature. Some people call it a higher self, the infinite intelligence behind life, universal mind or our true nature.

Whether we consider ourselves spiritual or not, most of us are familiar with the feeling that there’s more to life than what meets the eye. Similarly, there’s more to mental health and resilience than what traditional psychiatry or psychology can explain.

We all have access to the same source of mental health. No one has more, and no one has less.
Click To Tweet

However, our mental health does seem to vary depending on our states of mind and level of understanding. It is impossible to experience a deeper level of peace and wellbeing all the time. At times we can be so overwhelmed and consumed by our distressing experiences, that we stay in a lower state of mind for longer than we would like to.

However, what I refer to as ‘innate mental health’ does not leave us, even transiently. It merely gets buried under the rubble of personal thoughts, beliefs, and personal experiences. Hence, even when people appear mentally ill, at their very core, they are still perfectly mentally/psychologically healthy. They may not feel it, believe it or know it to be true.[image error]

Myth #2: If you have a mental illness, you are psychologically broken and need to be fixed.

I was very fortunate to have worked with a wise and compassionate psychiatrist as my training supervisor. Once he shared a story about a patient who’d told him: “I am schizophrenic” to which my supervisor responded, “I have come across a lot of people with a diagnosis of schizophrenia. However, I haven’t met a single schizophrenic!”

About five years ago, I had the privilege of meeting another wise and accomplished psychiatrist, Dr. Bill Pettit. He states with a degree of conviction:

“A diagnosis describes where you are, not who you are.”

A psychiatric or psychological diagnosis label can’t be your real identity. It’s only a headline banner encapsulating the symptoms/signs that come with various distressed mental states. When society understands that fact, more will realise that they are NOT their clinical labels and that recovery is indeed possible.

If we focus solely on the diagnosis and the symptoms of mental illness, we make the grave folly of attempting to ‘fix the person’ as if they are psychologically broken (the way I did early in my career!)

Of course, many people experience crises with symptoms of mental illness that may necessitate medical treatment for relief of symptoms. However, if we can spare a moment to look people in the eye and know that beyond their fears, their suffering, symptoms, behaviour and experience, people can never be psychologically broken – that they were already whole at a fundamental level, we can hold real hope for them.

The next time you hear someone say they are personality-disordered, bipolar, manic-depressive, schizophrenic, alcoholic, addict and so on, notice if you can see beyond what they can see for themselves. Try and separate ‘the label’ from who the person truly is.

[image error]

Myth #3: Our past determines our present and future mental well-being.

Our past has power only to the extent that we believe it has. A few years ago, when working as a psychiatrist in the NHS, UK, I used to run a six-week course on stress and wellbeing alongside an individual who had lived experience of mental illness. Once, I met a lady who told me that she could never be well again as she had suffered abuse when young; she said she was having regular flashbacks of traumatic memories.

I listened to her and said: “I’m truly sorry to hear your story. It must have been horrendous when it was happening. No one can say it (the abuse) didn’t happen or that you shouldn’t have flashbacks. However, you need to know that the abuse isn’t happening now – it happened back then. Your flashbacks or memories of what had happened are thoughts at this moment conjured up by a powerful mind and consciousness. The past is over!”

She looked stunned, went quiet for a moment and said, “No one has ever said this to me before.” She came back the next week and said our short conversation had helped. She said she had some flashbacks, but they weren’t as intense or frightening. She realised that she didn’t have to take her memories of the past seriously as they were her thoughts ‘in disguise’. The lady thanked me, and we hugged!

Get the  FULL VIDEO of my live presentation
“Dealing With Stress At Work – A New Paradigm”

At the time, I had only just come across the understanding of innate health and resilience. I had shared what little I knew, but even that short conversation gave this person a fresh perspective about her flashbacks and what they really were. Until then, she was held back by her belief that she could never be well.

Some of us had experienced sad, traumatic experiences in the past. And, many of us have had a fair share of life events or losses that we didn’t wish for. It’s important to understand that the past is over – it’s an illusion in the present. The past isn’t real at this moment, but it can seem very real. The future too is an illusion; it isn’t real, but it seems so depending on the thoughts we may be entertaining about the future, at the moment.

Let’s wake up to the fact that –

The past doesn't have to determine our present or our future.
Click To Tweet


[image error]

Myth #4: More complex your mental health issue, more complicated are your treatment needs.

I recall sitting in monthly case discussion meetings in my old job as a rehabilitation consultant psychiatrist in the NHS. Almost every patient would be described as complex with a lot of complex needs, most of which couldn’t be addressed satisfactorily no matter how hard we tried. A senior member of the team would begin: “He (the person being discussed) is quite complex.” We would then talk about someone else, and they would say, “This person is complex too”.

Some days I would sit there thinking that if someone had examined my life, choices I had made, my personality, my ever-changing states of mind, my habits, they would describe me as complex too!

The point I want to make is – when we think of someone as ‘complex’, we tend to over-think. We look for complex solutions.

Often we lose sight of the simple things that can matter most.
Click To Tweet

I had supervised a junior doctor who used to make time to cook meals with a few of the lads in my rehab unit. They used to look forward to it. A staff nurse who had years of experience practicing yoga and dance would give individual lessons to whoever showed an interest.

I used to run laughter yoga (an adapted version) sessions for my patients and staff. They used to love it, to see their psychiatrist ‘acting silly’ and being light-hearted. In those moments, there was no them and us. We all felt connected and shared some good feelings.

At the time of connection and light-heartedness, people’s complex stories and our views of their stories seem irrelevant.

It’s time to shift the focus from what’s different for each of us to what’s common and fundamental about the human experience.[image error]

Myth #5: You need to master a strategy to be mentally healthy and stress-free.

Can you recall the last time you felt at ease without needing to master or practice a strategy?

Do you think you can honestly say, “I feel at peace” without resorting to ‘doing something’ to experience that state of mind?

I used to think that for me to feel peaceful and be stress-free, my life had to be going a certain way, or I had to practice a self-help strategy. Now I realise that I had fallen for another myth – that I always needed ‘to do’ something to be mentally healthy and at peace.

It’s not uncommon for my clients to say, “I feel at peace with myself for the first time in years” after they start gaining insights into their innate health and innate resilience.

However, it’s usually a different story when they first come to see me – their state of mind can be anything but peaceful. There’s usually a lot going on in their lives. They are affected by stress – from demands at work, difficulties in their relationships, issues with health or financial worries.

I’m yet to come across anyone in my practice who hadn’t tried their best to cope using means available to them at the time. But, despite using different tools and strategies, most don’t seem to experience the peace of mind that they seek. In fact, all the trying can make them feel overwhelmed and sometimes worse.

What if we are already mentally healthy and free of stress at a deeper level?

What if by trying hard to fix the way we feel, we only get in the way of our psychological system spontaneously healing and self-correcting?

“Okay, great!” You may say, “Right now my life is pretty stressful. What should I do to access my ‘innate’ mental health?”

There is nothing specific to do but to only understand…

We understand best when we access our own insights (sights from within) about the principles behind innate health and resilience rather than when we intellectualise this understanding.

As Elsie Spittle puts it so eloquently:

Insight is a sacred space (spiritual intelligence) from where the unknown becomes known. The more we honour that space, the more we are guided from the inside-out ~ Elsie Spittle
Click To Tweet

I invite you to explore a simple but profound understanding of the power of thought and how the mind works. It may help you find the answers you’re looking for…

Michelle (name changed to maintain confidentiality) came to see me for work-related stress about a year ago. She was on sick leave and was struggling to cope. After a few sessions with me and learning about innate health and resilience, Michelle gradually started to improve. Recently I contacted her, and this was what she had to say:

“Things have been very different for me since I learned about the Three Principles/ Inside Out (understanding). My thoughts flow in and out, and I don’t take notice of them these days. I initially came to you really stressed in my job. At first, I was too scared to make a change, my thoughts were still in control.

“I wasn’t ready, but after a while, I decided to just go with the flow and try something different, whatever happens, it is all life experience. What will be will be… I have learned that I could do anything and not be afraid or get lost in the thoughts of what might be. My family life is also so much better; I have a great relationship with my daughter now. Learning about my thoughts have definitely made me a better person. Life is good. Thank you so much, Rani.”

Are you curious to get a glimpse of what Michelle had learned that transformed her life?

If yes, here’s a FREE sign-up to access the recorded videos of an introductory talk I had given on the subject of innate health and resilience.  I’d welcome your feedback about what resonated with you most.

If you can think of anyone who might also benefit, please support by sharing this post.

Until next time…

Best wishes,

Get the  FULL VIDEO of my live presentation
“Dealing With Stress At Work – A New Paradigm”

5 Greatest Myths Of Mental Health

Mental health problems are a growing public health concern. More than ever before, it has become a topic of great interest with better discourse and coverage in the media.

Health services in Britain are struggling to cope with the demand for services. It is encouraging to see several community initiatives (e.g. Heads Together) aimed at breaking the silence and stigma around mental ill-health.

But, can we be hopeful that good mental health can be experienced and enjoyed by everyone?

Get the  FULL VIDEO of my live presentation
“Dealing With Stress At Work – A New Paradigm”

As a junior doctor, I developed an interest in psychiatry. I wanted to connect with people and alleviate their psychological suffering. Alongside my studies and training in clinical psychiatry, I got drawn into the world of personal development and self-help. I was looking for better answers to the age-old question of how best we can manage psychological pain and suffering.

I felt that something quite fundamental was missing in the way I was trained to understand and ‘treat’ psychological issues.

I had tried my best to be a psychiatrist focussed on the recovery of my patients, working on people’s strengths and holding hope for them. I tried to apply my coaching skills at work albeit with limited success. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for people and shared their sense of hopelessness.

I didn’t believe everyone could recover. I wished they would, but I saw them as ‘psychologically broken’ given their prolonged ill-health, lifestyle issues and their inability to function independently. After all, some of the people I was working with had major mental illnesses and had been unwell for a long time despite receiving ‘evidence-based treatments’ of the time.

I didn’t have any easy answers to their problems! My search for that elusive ‘missing link’ continued.

I finally came to the understanding of Innate Health and Resilience (The Three Principles, as described by Sydney Banks). During a coaching session based on this understanding, I woke up to a fresh insight that gradually transformed my practice of psychiatry and how I would subsequently see people with issues of the mind. I was shocked to realise – that I had been trying to fix something for my patients that was not even broken in the first place.

Thankfully, now a majority of my clients recover with minimal or no psychotropic medicines or intensive psychological work.

The term ‘psychiatry’ was coined by Johann Christian Reil, a German physician and literally translates to – medical treatment of the soul. That’s certainly a tall order, but worth bearing in mind.

I’d been reflecting on some of the greatest myths about mental health that I had fallen for in the past. 

Here are my 5 greatest myths about mental health

Myth #1: Mental illness is the absence of mental health.

One of the commonest myths is that people with mental illness of any kind lack mental health and those of us who are lucky enough not to have attracted a diagnosis of mental illness (yet!) are enjoying good mental health. The assumption is also that mental health is never static, that it is ever-changing.

When people say mental health is never static, they perhaps refer to our variable states of mind and human experience. States of mind are never static. That’s part of being human. On a single day and even in a single hour, we can have a range of experiences and emotions. However, mental health is innate, the same in all of us and doesn’t change.

What I refer to as innate is formless and hence spiritual in nature. Some people call it a higher self, the infinite intelligence behind life, universal mind or our true nature.

Whether we consider ourselves spiritual or not, most of us are familiar with the feeling that there’s more to life than what meets the eye. Similarly, there’s more to mental health and resilience than what traditional psychiatry or psychology can explain.

We all have access to the same source of mental health.

No one has more, and no one has less.

However, our mental health does seem to vary depending on our states of mind and level of understanding. It is impossible to experience a deeper level of peace and wellbeing all the time. At times we can be so overwhelmed and consumed by our distressing experiences, that we stay in a lower state of mind for longer than we would like to.

However, what I refer to as ‘innate mental health’ does not leave us, even transiently. It merely gets buried under the rubble of personal thoughts, beliefs, and personal experiences. Hence, even when people appear mentally ill, at their very core, they are still perfectly mentally/psychologically healthy. They may not feel it, believe it or know it to be true.[image error]

Myth #2: If you have a mental illness, you are psychologically broken and need to be fixed.

I was very fortunate to have worked with a wise and compassionate psychiatrist as my training supervisor. Once he shared a story about a patient who’d told him: “I am schizophrenic” to which my supervisor responded, “I have come across a lot of people with a diagnosis of schizophrenia. However, I haven’t met a single schizophrenic!”

About five years ago, I had the privilege of meeting another wise and accomplished psychiatrist, Dr. Bill Pettit. He states with a degree of conviction:

“A diagnosis describes where you are, not who you are.”

A psychiatric or psychological diagnosis label can’t be your real identity. It’s only a headline banner encapsulating the symptoms/signs that come with various distressed mental states. When society understands that fact, more will realise that they are NOT their clinical labels and that recovery is indeed possible.

If we focus solely on the diagnosis and the symptoms of mental illness, we make the grave folly of attempting to ‘fix the person’ as if they are psychologically broken (the way I did early in my career!)

Of course, many people experience crises with symptoms of mental illness that may necessitate medical treatment for relief of symptoms. However, if we can spare a moment to look people in the eye and know that beyond their fears, their suffering, symptoms, behaviour and experience, people can never be psychologically broken – that they were already whole at a fundamental level, we can hold real hope for them.

The next time you hear someone say they are personality-disordered, bipolar, manic-depressive, schizophrenic, alcoholic, addict and so on, notice if you can see beyond what they can see for themselves. Try and separate ‘the label’ from who the person truly is.

[image error]

Myth #3: Our past determines our present and future mental well-being.

Our past has power only to the extent that we believe it has. A few years ago, when working as a psychiatrist in the NHS, UK, I used to run a six-week course on stress and wellbeing alongside an individual who had lived experience of mental illness. Once, I met a lady who told me that she could never be well again as she had suffered abuse when young; she said she was having regular flashbacks of traumatic memories.

I listened to her and said: “I’m truly sorry to hear your story. It must have been horrendous when it was happening. No one can say it (the abuse) didn’t happen or that you shouldn’t have flashbacks. However, you need to know that the abuse isn’t happening now – it happened back then. Your flashbacks or memories of what had happened are thoughts at this moment conjured up by a powerful mind and consciousness. The past is over!”

She looked stunned, went quiet for a moment and said, “No one has ever said this to me before.” She came back the next week and said our short conversation had helped. She said she had some flashbacks, but they weren’t as intense or frightening. She realised that she didn’t have to take her memories of the past seriously as they were her thoughts ‘in disguise’. The lady thanked me, and we hugged!

Get the  FULL VIDEO of my live presentation
“Dealing With Stress At Work – A New Paradigm”

At the time, I had only just come across the understanding of innate health and resilience. I had shared what little I knew, but even that short conversation gave this person a fresh perspective about her flashbacks and what they really were. Until then, she was held back by her belief that she could never be well.

Some of us had experienced sad, traumatic experiences in the past. And, many of us have had a fair share of life events or losses that we didn’t wish for. It’s important to understand that the past is over – it’s an illusion in the present. The past isn’t real at this moment, but it can seem very real. The future too is an illusion; it isn’t real, but it seems so depending on the thoughts we may be entertaining about the future, at the moment.

Let’s wake up to the fact that the past doesn’t have to determine our present or our future. [image error]

Myth #4: More complex your mental health issue, more complicated are your treatment needs.

I recall sitting in monthly case discussion meetings in my old job as a rehabilitation consultant psychiatrist in the NHS. Almost every patient would be described as complex with a lot of complex needs, most of which couldn’t be addressed satisfactorily no matter how hard we tried. A senior member of the team would begin: “He (the person being discussed) is quite complex.” We would then talk about someone else, and they would say, “This person is complex too”.

Some days I would sit there thinking that if someone had examined my life, choices I had made, my personality, my ever-changing states of mind, my habits, they would describe me as complex too!

The point I want to make is – when we think of someone as ‘complex’, we tend to over-think. We look for complex solutions.

Often we lose sight of the simple things that can matter most.

I had supervised a junior doctor who used to make time to cook meals with a few of the lads in my rehab unit. They used to look forward to it. A staff nurse who had years of experience practicing yoga and dance would give individual lessons to whoever showed an interest.

I used to run laughter yoga (an adapted version) sessions for my patients and staff. They used to love it, to see their psychiatrist ‘acting silly’ and being light-hearted. In those moments, there was no them and us. We all felt connected and shared some good feelings.

At the time of connection and light-heartedness, people’s complex stories and our views of their stories seem irrelevant.

It’s time to shift the focus from what’s different for each of us to what’s common and fundamental about the human experience.[image error]

Myth #5: You need to master a strategy to be mentally healthy and stress-free.

Can you recall the last time you felt at ease without needing to master or practice a strategy?

Do you think you can honestly say, “I feel at peace” without resorting to ‘doing something’ to experience that state of mind?

I used to think that for me to feel peaceful and be stress-free, my life had to be going a certain way, or I had to practice a self-help strategy. Now I realise that I had fallen for another myth – that I always needed ‘to do’ something to be mentally healthy and at peace.

It’s not uncommon for my clients to say, “I feel at peace with myself for the first time in years” after they start gaining insights into their innate health and innate resilience.

However, it’s usually a different story when they first come to see me – their state of mind can be anything but peaceful. There’s usually a lot going on in their lives. They are affected by stress – from demands at work, difficulties in their relationships, issues with health or financial worries.

I’m yet to come across anyone in my practice who hadn’t tried their best to cope using means available to them at the time. But, despite using different tools and strategies, most don’t seem to experience the peace of mind that they seek. In fact, all the trying can make them feel overwhelmed and sometimes worse.

What if we are already mentally healthy and free of stress at a deeper level?

What if by trying hard to fix the way we feel, we only get in the way of our psychological system spontaneously healing and self-correcting?

“Okay, great!” You may say, “Right now my life is pretty stressful. What should I do to access my ‘innate’ mental health?”

There is nothing specific to do but to only understand…

We understand best when we access our own insights (sights from within) about the principles behind innate health and resilience rather than when we intellectualise this understanding.

As Elsie Spittle puts it so eloquently:

“Insight is a sacred space (spiritual intelligence) from where the unknown becomes known. The more we honour that space, the more we are guided from the inside-out.”

I invite you to explore a simple but profound understanding of the power of thought and how the mind works. It may help you find the answers you’re looking for…

Michelle (name changed to maintain confidentiality) came to see me for work-related stress about a year ago. She was on sick leave and was struggling to cope. After a few sessions with me and learning about innate health and resilience, Michelle gradually started to improve. Recently I contacted her, and this was what she had to say:

“Things have been very different for me since I learned about the Three Principles/ Inside Out (understanding). My thoughts flow in and out, and I don’t take notice of them these days. I initially came to you really stressed in my job. At first, I was too scared to make a change, my thoughts were still in control.

“I wasn’t ready, but after a while, I decided to just go with the flow and try something different, whatever happens, it is all life experience. What will be will be… I have learned that I could do anything and not be afraid or get lost in the thoughts of what might be. My family life is also so much better; I have a great relationship with my daughter now. Learning about my thoughts have definitely made me a better person. Life is good. Thank you so much, Rani.”

Are you curious to get a glimpse of what Michelle had learned that transformed her life?

If yes, here’s a FREE sign-up to access the recorded videos of an introductory talk I had given on the subject of innate health and resilience.  I’d welcome your feedback about what resonated with you most.

If you can think of anyone who might also benefit, please support by sharing this post.

Until next time…

Best wishes,

Get the  FULL VIDEO of my live presentation
“Dealing With Stress At Work – A New Paradigm”

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Will You Be Lonely This Holiday Season?

I decided to write a slightly offbeat post this holiday season.

You may have come across a lot of messages about the joys of Christmas, that special time of the year to celebrate with friends and family, and have a great time.

There are also messages encouraging people to reach out to those of us living alone in our communities. Those are all well-intended advice reminding us to help and look after our fellow human beings.

Here’s an observation – no one can stop anyone from feeling lonely (or any other feeling for that matter).

What if –

It was okay to feel lonely or any other feeling (positive or negative) this holiday season?
Christmas doesn’t always have to be the happiest time of the year or the most challenging time of the year?
Feelings were shadows of transient thoughts and nothing to be fearful of?

Very often, we assume that if we are surrounded by our friends and family and busy ourselves in activities, we won’t feel lonely. On the other hand, there is a prevailing belief that if we are on our own particularly at this time of the year, we’d feel lonely.

That, however, is not true.

We can be on our own and still feel connected with others, at a deep spiritual level. We can be with our friends, family and still feel lonely.

I recently had a coaching session with Nick (not his real name) who was dreading Christmas. Nick didn’t mind Christmas day itself but said he disliked the family tradition of getting together under the same roof. He was apprehensive about feeling lonely, around people he wasn’t particularly close to.

I’ve been sharing the understanding of innate health and resilience and the inside out nature of our experiences with Nick over a few sessions now. He soon realised that he actually had no way of predicting how he was going to feel this Christmas.  That didn’t stop him from feeling apprehensive, however.

I pointed out that his feelings didn’t come from the tradition of his family getting together this time of the year, nor from any unwelcome comments made by others. His feelings come from thought in the moment taking form.

I asked him what may happen if he allowed himself to feel lonely, should that feeling come to him at any point.

That question shifted something for Nick.

He saw that he was apprehensive of this year’s Christmas on the basis of memories of the past. He realised he was misusing the gift of thought to create a scene in the future that may or may not happen.

The holiday season of Christmas and new year doesn’t bring magic with it. We carry the magic with our presence and state of mind. If we are in a good state of mind, we feel connected to others in spirit even when we are on our own. If we are in a troubled state of mind, we feel disconnected, discontent and lonely even in the presence of good company.

This Christmas – my message to you is there is no particular feeling you need to feel. You will feel whatever thought takes shape any given moment and that is okay – and, that is how it’s meant to be.

You can feel lonely one minute and be fine the next. Beyond the changing states of mind which you have very little control over, you are always connected to the essence of life.

This holiday season, notice if you can see past the illusion of separateness from others to a more profound truth – that we are all connected – at a deeper level of consciousness, beyond our human form.

Feeling lonely is a temporary state of mind as is feeling connected. Both are states of mind, and no one state of mind is better than the other. We could experience peace in both states of mind when we understand the illusionary nature of our thoughts and feelings.

I wish you peace and love, and look forward to many more conversations with you in 2018!

With warmest wishes,

Rani

(Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash)

HOW TO TURN STRESS ON ITS HEAD – Now selling on Amazon!

Exploring a simple truth that can change your relationship with work…

I was talking to a friend, who is a local GP, earlier in the year. We were discussing mental health issues that doctors in primary care encountered regularly. It seemed that our GP clinics saw a lot of people struggling with stress in the workplace, a significant many needing time off work to recover. I was also concerned to hear that recovery from occupational/work-related stress was often incomplete and not satisfactory.

Due to various reasons, not everyone benefits from the standard psychological treatment provided by NHS services these days. I was keen to do something to help. We felt that it would be good to have a book/booklet offering solutions to this stress epidemic in the workplace. And, a seed was sown!

I started writing about the principles of innate health and resilience (also understood as The Three Principles of innate health) and how that understanding can help deal with stress and burnout. Initially, it was meant to be a small booklet, but over time this became a short book with personal anecdotes and real-life stories of six individuals who’d been through work-related stress.

WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY 2017

The plan was to launch the book later this year. A friend reminded me of the theme for this year’s World Mental Health Day (#WMHD2017), on the 10-October, which was mental health in the workplace.

So, we decided to bring forward the book launch!

For those not familiar with #WMHD2017, the 10th of October is marked as an annual day for global mental health education – to raise awareness of mental health difficulties, look at prevention of mental illness and promote well-being. As I said, the focus this year was ‘mental health in the workplace’.

It was heartening to see people and organisations come together for the common good and spread messages of hope. I launched my book with the hope that it can contribute to that collective effort in a small way.

If we talk about well-being at work, we have to consider stress at work – an issue that has become so commonplace that we take it for granted. That is despite the massive cost in terms of individual suffering, mental health problems, reduced and lost productivity. According to the UK Health and Safety Executive (HSE), over 11 million days are lost at work a year because of stress at work.

Here are some stress, anxiety and depression statistics (published by the HSE in 2016):

%

Off all work-related ill health cases

Annual cost of work-related stress, anxiety and depression in Great Britain 2014/15

%

Of all working days lost due to ill health

Working days lost

So, where do our stressful feelings originate? Where does our experience of the workplace come from?

How can we remain resilient in the face of challenging circumstances? Is it possible to be less bothered by people around us?

These are some of the questions the book addresses, and the answers may well surprise you.

[image error][image error]The book explores the one dominant understanding that can transform our relationships and relationship with work itself!

Liz Scott, wellbeing and leadership coach, shared the following endorsement about the book:

“Dr Rani Bora shines a light on the incredible resilience and mental health within us all. In a beautifully simple way, she explains a simple truth behind our mind’s ability to self-correct from stress. It might look like we need to fix our manager, boss or workload – but actually, the answer is inside. If you, a friend or a colleague is experiencing work-related stress then buy them this book.”

The paperback and Kindle Edition are available at Amazon bookstores worldwide.

How to Turn Stress on Its Head: new book launch!

The idea for the book:

I was talking to a friend, who is a local GP, earlier in the year. We were discussing mental health issues that doctors in primary care encountered regularly. It seemed that our GP clinics saw a lot of people struggling with stress in the workplace, a significant many needing time off work to recover. I was also concerned to hear that recovery from occupational/work-related stress was often incomplete and not satisfactory.

Due to various reasons, not everyone benefits from the standard psychological treatment provided by NHS services these days, i.e. CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). I was keen to do something to help. We felt that it would be good to have a book/booklet offering solutions to this stress epidemic in the workplace. And, a seed was sown!

I started writing about the principles of innate health and resilience (Three Principles) and how that understanding can help deal with stress and burnout. Initially, it was meant to be a small booklet, but over time this became a short book with personal anecdotes and real-life stories of six different individuals who’d been through work-related stress.

WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY 2017

The plan was to launch the book later this year. A friend reminded me of the theme for this year’s World Mental Health Day (#WMHD2017), on the 10-October, which is mental health in the workplace.

So, we decided to bring forward the book launch!

For those not familiar with #WMHD2017, the 10th of October is marked as an annual day for global mental health education – to raise awareness of mental health difficulties, look at prevention of mental illness and promote well-being. As I said, the focus this year is 'mental health in the workplace'.

I can already feel the buzz in social media, particularly on Twitter (with hashtags #WMHD2017 #worldmentalhealthday #mentalhealthawareness etc.) It's heartening to see people and organisations come together for the common good and spread messages of hope. I hope my book can contribute to that collective effort in whatever way possible.

If we talk about well-being at work, we have to consider stress at work – an issue that has become so commonplace that we take it for granted. That is despite the massive cost in terms of individual suffering, mental health problems, reduced and lost productivity. According to the Health and Safety Executive (HSE), over 11 million days are lost at work a year because of stress at work.

Where do stressful feelings come from? Where does our experience of the workplace come from?

How can we remain resilient in the face of challenging circumstances? Is it possible to be less bothered by people around us? These are some of the questions the book addresses, and the answers may well surprise you.

The book explores the one dominant understanding that can transform our relationships and relationship with work itself!

Liz Scott, wellbeing and leadership coach, shared the following kind words about the book:

“Dr Rani Bora shines a light on the incredible resilience and mental health within us all. In a beautifully simple way, she explains a simple truth behind our mind's ability to self-correct from stress. It might look like we need to fix our manager, boss or workload – but actually, the answer is inside. If you, a friend or a colleague is experiencing work-related stress then buy them this book.”

The paperback and Kindle Edition will be available on a 48-hours promotional price deal from Tuesday, 10 October 2017 (the official launch day!). 

Once an Alcoholic, Never Again

I wanted to share the story of Sally Wyse who spoke to me recently about her struggle and recovery from alcohol addiction. She is a living proof that not only is complete freedom from alcohol addiction possible, it actually does not need to be hard work either. And one can get to enjoy life and have peace of mind too, something that seemed impossible for Sally until a few years ago.

Sally had always tried her best to fix her feelings of “dis-ease” and at a very young age, she learnt that alcohol fixed her feelings, albeit for a short while. She first got drunk with alcohol when she was only 5 years old. On that particular day, she was told by her mother for the very first time that she never wanted Sally and that she had tried to abort her.

That was the start of her childhood anxiety issues. Sally started fixing her feelings with alcohol regularly from the age of 16, drinking 7 nights a week. She has been in 8 treatment centres and sought help on numerous occasions for her addiction. She worked hard towards her recovery and yet kept having relapses after brief periods of sobriety. Nothing seemed to work and yet almost miraculously, after learning about the principles behind innate health and resilience, she has managed to transform her life. This was more than 2 & ½ years ago. She is no longer addicted to alcohol. Not only that, she had never felt happier and more content with life.

In part 1 of the video interview, Sally shares how she got addicted to alcohol and the extent to which she became dependent on this highly addictive substance. She felt so much “dis-ease” that she had to drink alcohol to ease the feeling. As her alcohol dependence became more severe, her ability to function on a day to day basis got from bad to worse. She lost her job, had strained relationships and her physical and psychological health worsened.

Despite her wanting to give up alcohol, wanting to be well and being compliant with her strict treatment regime, she simply couldn’t stay away from a drink for long. She managed to get sober from time to time when she attended AA (Alcoholic Anonymous) several days a week. However she knew there was a drink somewhere and she was aware of all the triggers that could potentially compel her to go and sought out a drink.

In part 2 of the video interview, Sally describes the turning point in her recovery journey. She was introduced to the principles behind innate health and resilience (aka Three Principles). She had a major insight or “aha” moment when she was told that she was not broken and did not need fixing. Her initial response was to say that she was broken, that she was born an alcoholic and had the “dis-ease” of alcoholism. As she deepened her understanding of the principles, she came to realise that her addiction was her responsibility but that she had blamed others for her addiction all her life.

She realized that the addiction came from her thinking that she needed to fix her feeling of “dis-ease” with alcohol. She has now trained to be a practitioner and is passionate about sharing this understanding with people who has addiction issues. She has been sober for 2&1/2 years. She is happier in her own skin, her life is more meaningful and she has a quiet mind, something she never had before.

What if – just like Sally, someone who is addicted to a substance or any activity (eg gambling) is simply trying to fix his or her feeling of “dis-ease” with that particular substance or activity?

What if – they too came across the principles of innate health and resilience and realized that they didn’t need to fix their feelings?

What if – they understood the power of thought and how their feelings change when their thinking changes?

I hope you are touched and inspired by Sally’s remarkable story of full recovery from chronic alcohol dependence.

It is indeed possible for people to make a full recovery from any addiction, not just alcohol addiction.

There may be people out there who have tried everything on offer but have not succeeded in getting over their addiction. They need to hear this.

Please feel free to share this message of hope.

Thanks for reading this blog and watching the videos.

Kind regards,

Rani

 

 

Parenting and Innate Health in Children

Parenting is often a difficult and full-time responsibility.  It can be a rich and rewarding experience; at other times, it can seem the exact opposite!

And every child is unique and special in their own way. If a child is struggling with psychological issues and we consult a parenting book, the strategies we learn can sometimes seem to help that particular child (usually in the short-term) or not at all.

In other words, tools and strategies may help us manage the behaviour of some children but those aren’t always effective.

I see tools and techniques as quick fix solutions. There is nothing wrong with using something to help alleviate pain and suffering as long as those don’t cause any harm, physically or emotionally. But most of the time, as soon as one stops applying the technique(s), the same problems tend to re-emerge. Sometimes the initial problem may cease to be a issue but a new problem arises out of the blue. And, we then get busy trying to fix our new problem. This cycle can go on and on.

If we want to empower children and the youths of today to deal with challenges and support them to make healthy choices, learning about innate heath is key.

If you are a parent or you work with children, this understanding will help you make sense of why children do what they do and why focussing solely on disciplining or changing behaviours is not the answer. It will raise your awareness of how every human being experiences life using the power of thought. This understanding will point you to not only your own wisdom and innate resilience but also to the wisdom and innate resilience present in every child.

My dear friend and colleague, Ian Watson and I recorded a conversation about raising resilient kids. In the first video, we address why this understanding applies even to children with very challenging emotional and behavioural issues. We also talk about how this understanding is different to traditional approaches currently available.

In the second video below – we look at what can get in the way of us understanding about innate resilience. Ian talks about the work he and his team at the Innate Health Centre have been carrying out in schools and some of the outcomes observed so far.

Finally, we talk about why understanding what’s common to each of us can help reduce stigma and discrimination for those suffering from mental distress of any kind.

You can learn more about Ian Watson’s work at http://www.theinsightspace.com/

Warmest wishes,

Rani

Innate Health in Children and Parenting

Parenting is like having a full-time job.  It can be a rich and rewarding experience at times. At other times, it can seem the exact opposite!

And every child is unique and special in their own way. If a child is struggling with psychological issues and we consult a parenting “How to” book, the tools and techniques we learn may help that particular child in the short term. Alternatively it may not help at all.

In other words, certain tools and techniques may help us manage the behaviour of some children some of the time but not all children all the time.

I see tools and techniques as quick fix solutions. There is nothing wrong with using something to help alleviate pain and suffering as long as it does not cause any harm, physically or emotionally. But most of the time, as soon as one stops applying the technique(s), the problems seems to resurface again. Sometimes the initial problem may cease to be a problem but a new problem seems to arise out of the blue. And we try to fix that problem. This can go on and on.

If we want to empower children and the youths of today to deal with challenges and support them to make good choices, learning about innate heath is key.

If you are a parent or someone who works with children, this understanding will help you make sense of why children do what they do and why focussing solely on disciplining or changing behaviours is not the answer. It will raise your awareness about how every human being (children included) experience life using the power of thought. This understanding will point you to not only your own wisdom and innate resilience but also to the wisdom and innate resilience present in each and every child.

My dear friend and colleague, Ian Watson and I recorded a conversation about raising resilient kids. In the first video, we address why this understanding applies even to children with very challenging emotional and behavioural issues. We also talk about how this understanding is different to traditional approaches out there.

In the second video below – we look at what might get in the way of us understanding about innate resilience. Ian talks about the work he and the Innate Health Centre team are carrying out in schools and some of the outcome.

Finally, we talk about why focussing on what’s common to each of us rather than on what makes us different might help reduce stigma and discrimination against anyone who might be experiencing psychological distress or mental ill health.

You can learn more about Ian Watson’s work at http://www.theinsightspace.com/

There is still time to register for our one day workshop on “Raising Resilient Kids” to be held in Exeter, Devon on the 10th of June 2017. Click here to find out more and to book your place. 

Warmest wishes and love,

Rani