S.E. Reichert's Blog, page 7

Backstory: The Sum of Our Parts

Hey kids! Today I thought I’d settle back into a little bit of craft. For those of you who are beginning writers, I hope this will be of use. For those of you who are super-sonic, advanced, best-selling writers…what in the hell are you doing reading my blog? Don’t you have launch parties to go to and movie studios to schmooze? As I consider myself a perpetual beginner in all things, I will continue as if this is something you still need work on, because I do.

Backstory…ah yes, all the shit that happened to your character before they land on the page of your novel. All of those pesky details that readers don’t necessarily need to sift through (100000 words or so?) but that are essential to why your character behaves the way they do, why they are where they are, and what fatal flaw we are hoping they fix. So how do we, as writers, weave the important details in without dumping large, boring, sagas of backstory on our readers? Here’s a fine bullet list:

WRITE IT OUT, BUT DON’T PUT IT IN: One of the best practices you can do is write out all those long, sweeping, historical scenes in a separate document. It helps you get to know your character better and to be able to write them from a place true to their history. That document doesn’t have to be seen by anyone else, think of it as writing an entry on your character in wikipedia to be able to better write them authentically on the page. Backstory details will have an easier and more organic presence that way.CONSIDER YOUR GENRE: Some genres (Literary, YA, Regency Romance) tend to have more personal historical details, and if the main goal of the genre is a transition from the past to the present or future (coming of age, hero’s journey) then the past will play a bigger role and more time can be devoted to it. Readers in these genres expect as much.MOTIVATION: Everybody has a WHY. If the motivation is obvious (he’s a cop because he believes in justice) it requires no backstory. If, however, they’re in a role or position that seems to clash with their personality or values we need to know a bit about how and why they got there. (She’s a cop because her father was killed on the job by a dirty partner and now she wants to ferret out the current Commissioner). BE SELECTIVE TO ENHANCE THE FLAWS: If your main character arc is about how a closed down hunk learns to love again, then we need to know why they closed down in the first place. You don’t need to know he was the captain of the rugby team unless his heart was broken by a fellow player. Stick to the details that caused their flaw, or reveal something important about their values and personality that are essential for their evolution, or are the defining handicaps that keep them failing.BE BRIEF: In this case, a hint is as good as a paragraph/chapter. Some of the best backstory is the kind that is interwoven, seamlessly within a paragraph. Related to the current events but powerful in its small punch. “When he asked if she wanted a peppermint mocha she scrunched up her nose. She hadn’t liked the scent since her grandmother had insisted she rub peppermint lotion on her feet every night. ‘No thanks, just a latte,” she said.” Here we see that she had to take care of her grandmother and it wasn’t pleasant. Young people in positions like that have a heavy sense of duty and often resentment. We learn this from one line about grandma feet.If you struggle with how to shrink it down, see the above bullets for the most important details and boil those down further. Ultimately it’s about practice and thinking about how your own brain works; how certain smells can bring up memories, or being in a car reminds you of a trauma, etc.IF IT’S GOT TO BE LONG: Okay, I get it, sometimes exposition is too important to the motivation, character flaw, and story to get cut down. So here’s some rules of thumb, if it has to be longer:It better be full of gasp-worthy events Write it in beautiful sweeping prose and be addressing a literary audience that doesn’t mind a good wander.Make it hilariously funny

Well, there you go. I hope this helped give you a little boost on how to interweave backstory into your work. Good luck on your writing and next week I’ll have some announcements about the big ol’ month of September and what fun things are going down.

The Past Holds on in Dark Places

I’ve been debating, but I think this post just has to happen.

It’s been a heavy weight on my heart for almost two years now, and I’m ready to move on…to healthier spaces, to new horizons. But I can’t fully do that, when this shadow has been living in my peripheral. Because, sometimes trauma thrives in dark places. And I need to shine a light on it, even if no one is paying attention. Because otherwise it will continue to tendril itself to my ankles like a weight, an anchor solidly planted in the black of the ocean’s floor, and never let me be completely free. The only way to get loose, to get back to the light, to be free…is to get a knife and start cutting. But I can’t do that, until I shed light on the chains. Even if it risks losing a limb.

Imagine, for a moment, being in this place with me. See if you feel caught in the same chains. Feel your breath burning in your lungs, from the silence you keep.

Know you’re drowning.

Here’s a story, of something that happened. Not so long ago, but long enough that I feel safe in letting it go. So…here I go…

Suppose as a young mom, with very few friends and isolate from the world (not even admitting you’re a ‘writer’ yet) you stumble upon a martial arts school. You remember being in Kenpo in college and loving it. How it empowered you, gave you friends and community…so, being a mom of young women, you start your kids there. Because it seems to teach ideals and principles that you agree with. Self defense, discipline, respect, integrity. All good and decent. Your kids have fun, and you join the program, to be a part of their journey as well as to start your own. As time passes, they move on (as kids do) to new adventures. But you’ve found a home there. A real home. Friends, community, purpose. You love the art. You have plans for the future practicing this art.

Its inexplicable how deep in your bones you feel it. It’s like it was always there waiting for you to find. It might have even been something you always knew from eons ago, because it felt organic and made sense, and the way it taught you to move and use your power was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever had.

So not only do you want to continue to live in this world, but you want to teach others, you want to help kids, you want to encourage women in the art. So you work hard, nights and weekends, extra study and home and private lessons, and getting up early for weapons classes and staying late to help with questions. It is your life, and the family and friends you’ve made on the journey are as close to you as your own heart beating in your chest. You feel safe. You feel finally respected and equal as a woman, even in such a man’s world.

Then…one day…

A man you’ve worked with for almost ten years, who has always been like a big brother to you, completely platonic in your eyes, a family man to all who know him, your coach, your mentor, and someone you trust implicitly…starts to say things to you. Uncomfortable things. He starts sending them via messenger, non stop. From the moment you wake up in the morning until you try to sleep, he’s there…prompting, asking, demanding your attention.

You don’t respond, you deflect, you laugh it off. You ask him to stop.

Because he’s a man of this art–this art of integrity and discipline–and a family man, your coach, your mentor, you think he must just be confused, or teasing, or…joking? And when you tell him its uncomfortable and you don’t like it, he should respect that you’re not interested. And stop. He should…right?

But he doesn’t. He doesn’t stop.

You block him. He tries to manipulate your friends and co-workers at the dojo into getting you to talk to him, feigns depression, sobs into your messenger, leaves depressing posts all over social media. Everyone is very concerned for him. But you are confused. Because you feel like you did something wrong. When all you asked for, respectfully, was for him to back off.

Why would someone, who was like a brother to you, act that way? Why wasn’t your no enough? You’ve blocked him, you’ve asked him not to work with you on the floor, you don’t speak to him. You won’t take classes with him. He tells your collective friends that you’re being stubborn and unreasonable. He leaves the school in an emotional outburst. You stay. Because this is your home, and your sanctuary. And you have children to teach who are the very beat in your heart and you cannot abandon them.

Only soon, it doesn’t feel like a sanctuary because two weeks later, he comes back, starts requesting classes, starts saying that his mental health is at stake. He starts leaving typed notes in your employee box, tucked into books for you…telling you that you’re denying the truth of your own feelings (as though he knows your feelings better than you do?) He gushes that he loves you. That you belong together, that you’re fated for one another… You bring it to the head of the school. Because now it’s happening at work, and it’s gotten scary. This isn’t some passerby.

This is a man who outranks you, who could kill someone with his bare hands. And he’s made your workplace hostile.

And by hostile it means– you shake every time you pull up in the parking lot to teach. Your stomach is ulcering, you’re not sleeping. You hope, every night, that he doesn’t show up. Every time the bells ring on the doors into the dojo you cringe and look for the next higher rank. But it doesn’t help. Because no one knows.

Because your boss doesn’t want to ruin the man’s reputation. He doesn’t want to put a ‘stain’ on his school. Even though its more than just an inconvenience or a stain to you. It’s a dark and frightening world that’s closing in on you everyday. The man starts taking more classes, which means you take less. Your training suffers, you fall behind on your hopes of a higher degree and becoming a Sensei. Because you can’t be on the floor with him and you worry one day he’ll step onto the mats with you and do real, physical damage. You’re afraid it would lead him on if were nice out of fear, or even just in being near you, even if you ignored him completely. Because even when you gave a clear no, he only heard yes. You don’t feel safe.

You finally tell your boss, you can’t do this anymore. He tells you that you need to work with the man, to heal and get over it. That the man is depressed and they can’t possibly make him leave…what about his mental health? Can’t you two crazy kids just work it out? You tell him that there are laws against this sort of thing. He says he’ll think about it.

But you don’t need to think anymore. You can’t stay someplace that’s not safe, and the family that you thought you had is just a hierarchy of men looking to protect themselves, and any form of behavior they want to engage in. They are fine calling you their token female to promote a ‘family friendly’ atmosphere and boost female students to sign up, but you better not speak out for your actual rights to be safe, or against a higher-ranking belt, because that would make them look bad.

So you quit. A lawsuit is an option. But it also means an upheaval for the students, the kids and adults who find comfort in the art and in the community. It means years of litigation and strain on your own family, including financial weight you cannot afford. It means having to defend your ‘no’ to a bunch of men, who like the others before, don’t believe you.

So, you send in your resignation. The head of the school says he’s asked the man to never come back to any of their properties (out of fear of litigation, not out of a sense of what is right). They hope you’ll come back when you’re ‘feeling better’. They tell everyone you left to pursue a ‘book deal’. They don’t say that you left because you were being harassed.

You hope that you can feel better…you hope it will be safe again and your wounds will heal and you can move on and get back into the world and the practice and the teaching you love. 9 months pass. You start to take a couple of classes in different schools. You start to feel…buoyant, supported, you laugh on the floor again and you haven’t done that in over a year. You find an instructor you trust. You can hug people again and not feel…strange. You agree to cover a couple of classes to help them out. You sign up for an all-school event. Knowing you’ll have to prep for it, knowing its a big step, but feeling that you’re ready. And you’re excited at the challenge and at getting to practice again, and at being part of your family… Oh my God…how you’ve missed it, the motion, the science, the beauty…

But then…you feel the anchor on your foot, cutting into your ankle when someone pulls you aside and says, hey…he’ll be there you know? He’ll be there. At the event. They’ve let him register. He’s coming. He’s coming back. Just as you are. And your guts turn and you throw up and you can’t eat or sleep for days and you can’t not cry. It’s a cruel torture tactic, giving someone hope, for escape and freedom, only to shackle them down at the last second…

So you pull out your knife and you stare down at your foot and you know that you’ve only got one real choice if you want to survive.

And it isn’t to stay here, where this past, and this darkness, and this hurt is the weight keeping you under. You can’t possibly put your heart back into this water, now that the shark is circling. So you cut yourself free, and it must be complete. Through the bone, the limb can’t be saved. You won’t ever come back, there is no hope of it. You’ve lost a decade or more, of your life, of your passion, of the marrow in your bones. You’ve lost friends. Your family.

Because someone wouldn’t take no for an answer and someone else defended his ‘right’ to a yes.

So if you seem heartbroken in your posts and your correspondence, you hope its only temporary. You try to feign the idea that you’re ok. But when, for so much of your life, your safety, happiness, and well-being has, in one way or another, been snatched away by a man who thought he deserved your time and your light, its really hard to come back to ok.

I’ve been floating in the sea, bleeding, without a limb…fighting up, and away from the dark for a year and 6 months now… but there are days when I still feel like I haven’t breeched the surface yet. I want to shout out to the entire world, but I don’t think they’d listen. Because, I’ve merely become one of a couple hundred million women…who were told to stay silent, to not rock the boat, to be the anchor. The stability in status quo…

I’m not an anchor anymore. And its time to let go.

Thanks for listening. I know it won’t change anything and the damage is done. But half of my life’s goals, my passion, my love, was stolen from me and so if I have a hard time, sometimes, calling back, feeling happy, wearing fitted clothes, getting on and getting over, finding energy, finding confidence, trusting, coping with crowds… not looking over my shoulder when I hear bells ring… I hope you’ll understand. I hope you’ll give grace. To every woman.

A Little Something…

Hello friends, writers and readers.

I hope this week finds you getting back into the swing of things and finding a groove. Whether that’s winding down summer and getting ready for fall, or getting your kiddos back into school, I hope you’re finding some time to rebalance, and recenter. I’ve got a little teaser for a book I’ve been working on this year. I thought it might be a change from the poetry I normally offer and maybe a preview of a book that will hopefully be coming out within the next year.

Enjoy!

No Words After I Love You: Excerpt

““I’ve never believed in God, but I believe even less now. If there ever was a God, then it was her. My planets revolved around her and the world did not deserve the warmth of her star. None of us deserved her.” Don knows I mean him; the great idiot has to know. I hang my head, chance a glance at the crowd, blurred through eyes that are viciously crying, despite my resolution to be angry over sad. “God doesn’t deserve her either.”

That’s all. That’s all I can get out and not point my finger at Don and his treacherous heart. How dare he ruin the last testament to my wife, even if I didn’t want to be here. How dare he show up and mourn a woman who was mine? I sit down next to my father who clears his throat and in it, speaks a volume of reprimands.

Denouncing God in front of the entire church on such a sacred day such as this, Charles?

“Add it to my tab, Dad,” I whisper beneath my breath.

The flurry doesn’t stop, and I think I sign some paperwork, and I collect the ashes, which were to be separated and scattered, between New York and Georgia. Both urns come home to the apartment, where a good old-fashioned wake has been dictated by my late bride. A wake.

Wakes are for Catholics, I’d said. She shrugged in her robe and took my chin in her hand.
They always seem like fun, is what she had said.

Of her own funeral, she wanted it to…seem fun. She wanted wine and music and dancing and laughing. I have the wine. I think Meg did that. Meg ordered the food too…It’s all here, and so is the endless trail of well-wishers, face after face. Graceless, awkward patting of my shoulder from nearly all. Gina was the hugger. They are not sure what to do with me.

The only thing that’s not here is Meg and I look at every new face that enters the apartment, every milling sheep as though she’s snuck in. Where in the hell is that girl? Maybe it’s my brain, trying to distract from my grief, but it’s got me worried. I haven’t talked to her since that morning when she asked me where to put the flowers after the service. I said I didn’t care. She said she thought she could donate them…

I said God could shove them up his ass. She said she was too short to reach, but she’d see what she could do…I unexpectedly smile in the middle of someone else’s story.

Where is Meg? Did she get left at the church? Left by the people she loved, once more? Orphaned again?
Two hours into the malicious and introvert nightmare, and the endless parade of people (thankfully Don must have taken my not-so-subtle hint and had the mind to stay away) is starting to quiet.

Meg walks in. I watch, from the kitchen as she sneaks through the front door, as if she’s trying to slip in without opening another wound. Her nose is pink and her eyes are watery from the cold. Or maybe its the grief.

She hangs up her scarf and that old threadbare coat. She pauses to say hello to my father, as if he deserved her softness. She’s walking through, not a soul recognizing the plainness of her, the very un-Broadway nature of Meg, in her simple black dress, probably the only one she owns, and probably only because Gina helped her find it. She gives people that awkward, tight-lipped smile that one offers in these situations, perhaps a handshake or a fluttering pat on the shoulder. But no words are exchanged.

My God, but she’s given me something to focus on. Poetry in her plainness, an anchor in this stormy sea.
I can tell she doesn’t want to be here. I can tell she knows she doesn’t belong.

I feel like she might try to sneak out. Give me some awful excuse tomorrow, like she was there but missed me in the hustle bustle of it all. But I can’t let that happen. Because she needs to know…she’s not abandoned. Someone notices. Gina begged me to notice her. As she passes the kitchen I reach out and take her wrist in my hand. It’s small and just the act of wrapping fingers around her bones halts her world.

I always think Meg is so much bigger, but she pulls easily into my arms and I’m just as startled as she is. The kitchen is quiet and I’m not sure why I react like such a desperate man, thinking she might leave. I’m not sure what to do now, with Meg so close. I cannot account for the grief in me. I am desperate. For any normalcy. For someone not in the business. Someone who…knows me.

“Where have you been?” I hiss.

“The park?”

My heart shoots up into my throat. The smallness of her wrist and how easily I was able to kidnap her into the kitchen makes me overpour in worry.

“By yourself?”

“I couldn’t—” she pauses and looks into my face. “I didn’t think you’d notice.”

“Didn’t think I’d notice? That you weren’t here?” Words come out of my mouth. I’ve been regulating all day. I can’t regulate with Meg.

“You’ve got a lot of people here and more socializing than I know you want to do. I didn’t want to be one more obligation for you.”

Martin, one of my favorite horn players from the pit of many a show-stopper, steps into the kitchen for another sandwich. He gives Meg an awkward, tight-lipped smile, and pats my shoulder lightly, before he leaves. My brain refocuses into the tired vulnerability, unguarded in her.

“Don’t leave me alone.”

“You’re not alone, everyone is here,” she points out.

“They’re here for her—” I ache. I look towards the sounds of laughter and stories in the next room over. In this sea, I am alone.

“I’m here for you,” Meg says and puts both of her hands on either side of my face. I look into her eyes, a quiet shore. I feel my face pinch up like I’m going to cry and that stupid girl, throws her arms around my waist and holds me. Buries her face in my chest, so I can cry and not be watched. She holds me so tight.
Like someone who loves you holds you. Without reserve, without any awkward pause, without worry for societal rules or false conclusions. I’m stunned into accepting. When was I last hugged? Hugged like a Midwestern girl hugs? Warm and close and like two hearts are trying to reach each other through the cage of ribs between. Never.

She smells like cold air and the traces of someone smoking on a park bench, and shampoo that’s soft and flowery. I could push her away and berate her for being stupid and sentimental. But my body sinks into the warmth. Fuck, I need a hug. A real one. Does she need it as badly as I do?

I put my arms around the smallness of her. I don’t know how tightly she needs this and I know I shouldn’t care, so I just hug her like I want to hug, and she shivers and I shiver back and I feel the tears welling up between us, a great lava flow started from an earthquake. I run my hands through her hair, and hold her tragic little brain next to my heart.

“My girl,” I whisper and catch myself.

Who’s girl? Which girl?

It demands an answer and I have to decide. “She was my girl.”

The grief flies its middle finger to my stoicism and Meg is so warm and close and just so…there…that I start to cry. And I don’t know what to do, so I just let it go. She’s whispering her anguish, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry over and over like Meg was responsible for the treacherous cells or the decade long affair, or the loss of everything I thought was true. As if she was putting that on her plainly dressed shoulders.

Comfort in her warmth starts to feel like betrayal. I think she feels it too. I sniff and pull away. I’m too confused to have her so close. I’m too far into the middle of my grief, I’m bound to make poor choices. I can’t look at her in case any part of this ache is still in my eyes. She tries to look at me but I pat her shoulder like Martin patted mine. Awkwardly. Boundaries thrown up in defiance. I need to get out of this kitchen. Into a crowd where I can be unseen again. I pause and hand her a box of Kleenex before I go. I hear her sniff and pull out a couple before blowing her nose in a very…moose-like manner.

The honking of it brings the first tickle of a laugh I’ve felt in days.”

The Simplicity of Practice

I can’t tell you how much of my life I overthink. From what a friend has said, to what the scowl my daughter is giving me means, to the side eye my dog throws at me and the head shaking the man in the car next to me offers when I’m belting out Blink-182 lyrics… I overthink it all. I overthink every decision (but if I have a bagel without the egg I’m going to be hungry, if I brush my teeth now they’ll just get dirty because I want one more cup of coffee, but if I don’t brush them now, it might not happen today…) You see what I mean?

So when I’m given (or read, or listen to) writing advice, I tend to do the same. I over calculate how many chapters I should be writing a month to finish a book in a quarter. I’m diagraming the hell out of my character’s backstory (after a pantster first draft that feels too tepid). I’m getting lost looking at internet trends, publishing tips, and marketing plans… And so much of these grand ideas, sparked by advice to help in the long run (some don’t) but what they for sure do, is take up time. And invested time like that isn’t just the physical hours but the mental energy that it takes to process it all. Less mental energy means…less writing (or less quality in the writing?)

Recently, I read this great article on the timeless tidbit of: “just write”.

I mean, admittedly, it’s kind of a breath of fresh air. Simple. Not complicated. Correct. To be a writer, to finish your novel/story/project, you must actually write it. So…just write.

But it’s also oversimplified. If writing were just that easy, every person who’s ever come up to me and said “I’ve always wanted to write a book” or “I’ve started a novel but I can’t seem to finish it” would have oodles of books written. Wants made into dids. I mean, “just write” makes it sound like all we really have to do is sit down, the words will come, the knowledge will be there and the novel will march through beginning, middle, and end without fail or hiccup.

But writing isn’t simple. It’s akin to playing an instrument, and doing it well. Anyone can pluck the strings of a guitar. Anyone can thunk on the piano keys, but it takes more dedication, thought, and skill to actually play a song, none the less write one. But the practice is the road towards a better song.

So, as this pretty smart writer guy said, we should instead “Practice Writing.”

Practice Writing. It is better, no? You’re still doing the writing thing, but it comes with the lightened atmosphere of it being something continually tried and worked for, something offered, reworked, and perfected, but never perfect. Something we find joy in, while still being committed to the process of it.

And it helps me not over think it. Because every sentence, scene, poem, blog, or chapter I indulge in, is a practice, and a learning opportunity, but not a commitment to perfection. And just like an instrument, through trial and error, and time spent, we writers will get better and better. So, I beg you to go forth, and practice your writing today. Whether it’s 2000 words, or 20. Every plunking of the keys counts towards learning the complete song. Every word, every thought, every rambling blog post, is a writer in the making.

What’s The Deal, Brain?

I’m normally a prolific writer. Like…I can put down 2,000 words plus a day when I have time and am in the middle of the glorious magical lapse, where time ceases to exist and there is only writing. But of late, that space is hard to find.

Now, to be fair to myself, I did just get done with a big project for my writing organization as well as helping to put on a conference. The kids are home right now, and there have been a lot of to-do’s in life. All of those excuses aside, when I sit down to write, it’s less a raging waterfall and more a sad little trickle, if it happens at all.

At the beginning of this year, coming off a year of publishing five books, I told myself that the main goals of the year would be learning and teaching. I would take classes, I would teach classes and give my brain a break from the writing, and especially, editing aspect of what I do–at least in terms of publishing goals. But I think I did myself a disservice.

By not writing consistently, at least a little everyday on various projects, I think I’ve lost some neuro pathways. I’m having a hard time with my focus, with my word count, and with that magical blossoming of new ideas. But is that all? Because I’m pretty fucking loopy these days. Like can’t concentrate, I’m tired all the time, I’m crabby (granted the world is a shitfest currently), and often depressed.

This is where the post gets a little weird, but I encourage people (men, women, and everyone between and along the spectrum) to stick with it.

Let’s talk about perimenopause. (Ew! I know, but shut up and listen) Brain fog is real, ya’ll. It also means night sweats and if those don’t keep you awake, the random brain and body signals being sent will. Less sleep equals…even more brain fog. I’m struggling to find balance, and focus, even though I haven’t changed any of my normal dietary, exercise, or life practices. All this to say, sometimes, life and biology don’t work with us. Sometimes we have to find new pathways and methods to do what we love.

Right now I’m researching it. I’m trying to eat healthy, let myself rest when I’m tired, and (despite also still teaching and learning this year) I’ve started writing again. A small, simple and sweet little book that’s not requiring too much investment as of yet, because I need to keep practicing, but I also need to keep it enjoyable, and not too convoluted for the brain cells that are already fighting strange hormone dips and tricks.

I know I’ll get through this, I’m looking into therapies and other things that can be done. Because I’m committed to managing my health and I’m committed to my creativity. Even if that means (as a woman and isn’t it ALWAYS the case) I have to work a little harder to find that balance. I’ll keep writing, a little each day. I’d rather be stuck in the traffic going slowly in the right direction, then pull of the road and never get back on.

Take care out there kids, and bring a fan. It’s going to get hot randomly.

A Word (or Several) About Writing Conferences

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This, being July and smack dab in the middle of the Writing Conference Season (I’m not sure if that should be a capitalized title, but it seems like an event so…I’m going with it) I thought it would useful to budding writers out there to go over some conference basics as well as some advice that has really helped me get the most out of them. This also being a totally new era, I’ve added some modifications to reflect our new Zoom/Teams lifestyles (not NEARLY as cool as a Rock n’ Roll lifestyle).

So, let’s get into the meaty goodness of writer’s conferences and why you should strive to attend at least one a year.


How do you choose which one to attend?

• Firstly, most conferences, at least since the pandemic, have had to switch to some type of online format or perhaps online-in person hybrid to make accommodations for safety. So, the good news is, you may not have to shell out so much for travel expenses as they can be taken from the comfort of your home. Bad news is that you’ll still be at home and all the challenges that can go along with it. I’ll touch more on that later on.

• If you are anything like me, you’re wealthy in creativity but strapped for cash. One of the biggest deciding factors, for me, is the cost of the conference, along with which classes, speakers, and agents will be there. Getting to pitch to an agent, or multiple agents for publishers specific to your genre is a boon. Classes that are not just interesting but will help expand your craft are also good factors to consider.

• Some conferences are genre specific and if you are a comfort-hugging archetype who doesn’t flirt around outside your style and subject matter, then definitely consider something specifically geared to your genre. The Romance Writers of America used to host in fun and far-off lands like…San Diego and…New York City…*le sigh* Genre specific conferences are awesome if you’re looking to polish skills or start out in a new genre that you don’t normally write in. Don’t be afraid to flirt a bit (outside of your genre, that is *wink)

• If you’re stuck deciding between two, look at the courses offered, the speakers presenting, and if they are offering pitch sessions, especially agents suited to your work. Pick the one that gives you the most opportunity for growth and stretches your creative and ambitious goals.

How do I get the most out of my conference?

• Here’s what I’ve learned. Plan ahead but be flexible.

Conferences don’t just start the minute you pin that snazzy name badge on your seldom-used dress clothes (or, via online conferences, log in with only dress clothes on your upper half). They start the year before, during writing when you self-reflect on the issues you have with your WIP, your style, your grammar, or even the steps you want to take next. If you have trouble with dialogue but are a whiz at plotting out the perfect story arc, then use your conference to build up your weak points. Even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone. Which leads me to my next point:

• Sit it on at least one session that is outside of your genre, comfort zone, or even interest.

Look, conferences can be amazing experiences but if you’ve been through sixteen hours of various takes on the query letter or trying to perfect your memoir pitches, you’re not growing as much as you could be. Why do athletes cross train? Why does an engineering major still have to take social science classes? Because learning about the realm outside yourself will make you better in all aspects of your work. Try a sci-fi world-building class or screenwriting. I guarantee, you will get something new out of it that will help your project and your craft.

• Push your limits.

Talk to people you wouldn’t normally, share your story, your success, and your pitfalls. This is an awesome opportunity (I’m talking to you little introvert) to commiserate, vent, and rejoice in the craft you love so much. Pitch your novel, article, or story. Talk to the larger-than-life keynote speaker (here’s a hint: every single one of them I’ve had the pleasure to meet has been the kindest, most down-to-Earth and supportive writer). Come away feeling like the weekend/day was an experience that has changed you in some fundamental way.

How do I not get overwhelmed?

• For goddess’ sake, take a break in the midst of it all. I’m the worst at this. I’m a classic victim of; “I paid the money and I’m going to hit every single class. I will volunteer, pitch, hit up the speakers at the dinner table, and stuff every bit of information into my head until explodes!” Then by day two, nothing makes sense in my mind, words are blurry, I’m not sure what my name is, and I’m crying into a self-made mashed-potato tower, while wearing Underoos on my head that clearly are not my own.

Take the breaks between sessions or even forgo a session and find a quiet corner or go for a walk outside. You need it to recharge, allow time to absorb the information and be refreshed for the next round. This is especially true for online conferences! Take the computer to different rooms (if they’re still quiet) or outside if available, take walks in between sessions, take eye and body breaks (look far off for a spell, or ‘rest’ your eyes away from the screen, get up and stretch as often as available). Its’ almost like interval training—the space between, the recovery is what sets you up for the next round, so take it.


• If you are pitching to an agent or editor, polish the shit out of that thing beforehand. Take your pitch to your critique group, your friends, random people on the street before the conference and learn how to deliver it with confidence and clarity. Know your story, your characters, and your plot, inside and out. That first page should sing the sweetest siren’s song anyone has ever heart and lure the tepid agent from the afternoon lunch lull into something exciting they want to read more of. The more you practice your pitch, the more it will feel like a conversation with a good friend instead of an interview.

• If you are pitching, don’t be intimidated by the agent or editor. Remember they are people. They are there, specifically, to talk to you. To hear your story. To find the next big thing. Most of them are also just like you…they may even be wearing Underoos and like mashed potatoes. The point is, it’s okay to be nervous, but don’t go in assuming they relish the idea of shooting you down. Be polite and always thank them for their time and any advice they have to give.

• Sleep before. Sleep after. Eat nutritious food, take walks outside whenever you can, and watch the caffeine and the booze. Free coffee stations are like crack for me (or conversely at home for online conferences—having my own espresso machine) and cash bars are a tempting mistress at the end of a long, people-filled day. But you’ll have things to do the next day and Underoos will stay safely tucked in if you can avoid that third cocktail.

To conclude, I’d like to share one of the best lessons I’ve learned from conferences.

For every conference I attend, I add a layer to the writer in me. That is to say, through the people I meet, the classes I take, and the lectures I attend, I learn more about the craft. How, and when, and why, and what and all the technical attributes that come along with the delicate balance of creativity and grammatical science. But more than just the sum of these limitless parts, I learn a greater whole.

The whole that is me as a writer.

And in doing so, I’ve learned how to enjoy myself more at these kinds of functions by listening to my body, my brain, and my growing years of experience.

Back in the day, I would be hand-cramping from the steady stream of notes at each session. I would be tumbling from one to the next, chugging down coffee between in hopes to keep my energy up so I wouldn’t miss a thing. I would strategically place myself at the agent’s table who I wanted to garner the literary affections of. I would, in essence, be the adult version of my grade-school brown-nosing self.

Something happened one year, while at the meet and greet “networking” event. I found myself long past my emotional and mental boundary and crossing all lines of my introvert nature, to garner the attention of at least a few more experts in the field. I was mentally exhausted, untethered and I felt like I was on emotionally shaky ground. I realized after a long day of learning and being ‘on’ that I didn’t want to be there.

I didn’t understand my limits or that honoring them was at the core to being successful at a conference (and let’s face it, in life)

I thought I could talk it all day, learn it all day, do it all day. Nerding on a pro-level is a quintessential part of who I am. I loved hearing about other projects much more than I like talking about my own and reveled in the creativity and ingenuity of my fellow conference goers.

But…the more stories I heard, the more classes I took, the more advice I tried to apply—the less sure I became of my ability. The more tired I got, the more flustered I became, the wearier my mind, the less information I could process.

Until everything was just noise and words.

Then I learned a secret.

You don’t have to throw yourself under a bus to catch it.

Knowing your limits is not just useful in this particular scene. Knowing your limits is useful for all humans. And it comes with age and the ability to let go of unrealistic expectations.

During a few of my sessions, even as I listened to the speaker, I listened to myself. If I was inspired to write; I let myself write.

If the iron was hot, I struck while in the moment, abandoning the mad scribble of notes.

Did I miss a little of the presentations? Sure, but in the midst of other brilliant minds and the energy they impart, in the middle of shutting out the rest of the world, the heart and brain start to do this funny little dance and learn to play again.

Inspiration doesn’t always happen at the opportune times. You have to write when the words are ready and when the heart is open. Conferences have given my heart a doorway, an acceptance into writing what often builds up behind all my carefully constructed walls.

In years past, I’ve forced myself to jump the hurdles of social interaction and witty conversation until late hours, when all I really wanted was to wander off to a quiet room and take a nap.

I had to make it OK for myself to listen to that want, in order to get the most out of my time at conferences. These events open pathways, but only when we’re not too busy to see them. If we are embroiled in getting the most out of every single planned moment of the time, then we may miss the real lesson.

Creativity is like a river and if you fully submerged you’ll easily drown. You’ll miss the beauty of the ride, the view, and the sounds.

So, know yourself, Writer. Do the things that you know work for you. Let the river of creativity, carry you, but always leave yourself plenty of breathing room to be inspired.

Poetry 7-11-2024

Sometimes I like to pick up random notebooks, lying around my desk (there are several) and crack open the pages like looking in a dusty box in the attic. No reference to when or where it was last filled and sealed. Sometimes I find pieces of myself that had scribbled themselves on pages. Once out of my brain, I forgot about them. Sometimes I recognize that girl, shining on the page. Sometimes I long to be her. Sometimes, I am sad for her. Here’s a relic from a random ‘box’. (I should really put dates on these things)

Celestial

Oh, the lengths of letting go
I've undergone
This sun rises and sets and entire worlds
are made and destroyed
stars I once thought I revolved around,
sure that chaos would run the darkness if ever
I left their orbit
sputter and fade into nothing

Because the power of a world is
the power that I give it
The fire of a sun
springs from My well
The light in the dark is borne in
My heart
It did not exist before me
It will die without me
and so it goes
ever in the throes of change

So I'm not breathing life
into any more poisonous coals
they can suffer and wane
in the cold of my celestial shadow
in the passing of their time
and the Rebirth of mine

they will revolve around Me
as I am the center
they are just cold rocks,
caught in my gravity
I care not, I notice not
if they stick around
or become lost and distant sedimentary trash
pulled away from me
by their own faulted inertia

I continue on
always

In Honor of Rebellion

I wrote this blog nearly 6 years ago, before COVID-19, before the Black Lives Matter movement gained ground, before the staggering abuse of power from one of the most self-interested presidents we have had went full on “tear gas peaceful protesters so they don’t get in the shot of my photo op” crazy.

In the original version I was careful to try and not alienate readers with use of politics. Re-reading it now, after what we’ve all been through since the soon-to-be-dictator fucked our Justice System and took the foundations out of our democracy, I’m resubmitting it with more balls. (I never understood why “having balls” was equated with being tough. We all know those things can’t even withstand a little nut tap without shriveling into a vomit inducing pity party. They should really say “grow a vagina” or “have a uterus” those things can, as Betty White once said, “take a pounding”. Anyway—on to the point.) I’m submitting this with more ovaries.

Independence in our country used to mean the freedom to pursue our dreams. But now we’re finally opening our eyes to the fact that not everyone has the same opportunities for this pursuit. Discrimination based on race, the disparity between economic status, and various other homophobic, misogynistic, and white-power-driven stereotypes are collars that keep a majority of this nation underfoot and away from an “American Dream”. It was always really just a concept reserved for the continuation of power for those already in possession of it.

Here’s what I had to say so many years ago, adapted to call out the injustice I should have been brave enough to speak against before.

“Independence”

I’ve been listening to the “Hamilton” soundtrack, catering to my daughters’ obsession of the rhythmic and addictive lyrics. I realize there’s some language in it that many would deem inappropriate. But being a lover of all language and knowing my kids’ ability to differentiate between words used for flavoring and appropriate alternatives for mixed company, I don’t shy away from it. Because more important than a few f-bombs is the fact that they love it, and by loving it, they are learning from it.

I love it too. I love that this amazingly talented writer and performer (hats off to you, Lin-Manuel Miranda), took an overlooked story and breathed life and passion into for a new generation with quick-witted writing that tied the past with present day issues including but not limited to the fact that this country wasn’t built by white landowners but on the backs of the enslaved people they held captive for generations.

Hamilton is a snapshot of history and a reminder of the grit it took for our country to break free of tyranny. But that was only from a monarchy, unfair taxes, and regulations not suited for a free nation. We face so many more complex problems now, but at the root of our biggest challenges, is the imbalance of power and the very real threat of an un-punishable dictator taking the wheel and making sure all of his corrupt yes men have their day.

If ever there was a time to break free of the tyranny in our government and economic systems, this is it.

When did we stop thinking that revolutions didn’t work? When they shackled us all with overpriced living and underpaid wages? Was it when they lulled us into a sense of complacency by screaming that ‘real patriots’ never questioned their government? Was it when they told us what we could and couldn’t do with our own bodies? Was it when they defied the FIRST Amendment by posting a religious document in public schools, shoving Christianity down every students’ throat, while telling them what they could and couldn’t read in public libraries?

Does anyone else not think this is a direct remake of that old 1940’s hit, “Nazi, Germany”?

We should all strive to remember the past. When we don’t, we stop being on guard for the behaviors and situations that can lead to tragic ends in our own country. Germans were frogs in tepid water that did not notice they were being boiled alive as Hitler slowly and with great persuasive rhetoric (almost like a reality star) turned up the heat and murdered 6 million people. We are frogs in a simmering pot, people.

For the last decade we’ve been idle as a nation, allowing forgiveness for “jokes” that weren’t funny, shrugging off policies that bullied our allies, and looked away at the practice of placating dictators who held their own people beneath their boots. We allowed the highest court in the nation to be bought with favors and promises of power in return for Presidential Immunity and stripping half our population of their rights for body autonomy.

Some of you rolled our eyes. Some of you applauded. Some of you tried to justify his inability to understand complex foreign policy and economic issues by saying he was an outsider. (That’s like saying the intern you hired was given a roomful of mentors and material to study up on for the job and then shrugging when he runs the skid steer into a pile of propane tanks while smoking and jerking off, sans a mask, and shouting “I don’t need you idiots! I know exactly what I’m doing!”)

We are living beneath a new threat of the same old dissonant administration that seeks to divide us as a nation. and WE NEED TO REALIZE THAT WHEN ONE PERSON IN POWER DISENFRANCHISES ENTIRE GROUPS BASED ON THEIR GENDER, RACE, RELIGION, OR ECONOMIC STATUS IT SETS US BACK AS A NATION AND BURNS TO THE GROUND ANY FALSE CLAIM WE HOLD THAT ALL PEOPLE ARE CREATED EQUAL IN OUR ‘GREAT’ NATION.

In addition: The wealthiest in this nation are playing an old and tired game of making you believe its the poor, the immigrants, the non-Christians who are taking your jobs and wrecking this country, because the sure-fire way to keep in power is to fill your constituents with fear and best if its fear of the “other”. Two birds with one stone and all that…

HEAVEN FORBID, WE ALL REALIZED WHO THE REAL ENEMY TO OUR FREEDOM AND HAPPINESS WAS AND DECIDED WE SHOULD RISE UP AGAINST THEM.

On this day, I want you to consider what it means to you to have independence.

Think about this country. Think about what makes you proud of it (if there’s anything anymore.)

We were a bunch of ragtag rebels once. Who burned things and refused to be taxed without representation. Who stood up to an upper ruling class who didn’t give two shits about us. Our country was built on the riots of people who had enough of injustice. That’s why the FIRST amendment of our constitution guarantees the right to protest. Because for all the stupid ways those first founders screwed up, at least they recognized that a country full of free and empowered people is stronger than those kept under the shiny shoe of a narcissistic dictator.

Revolutions rarely take a day. They are years in the making, with sacrifices of blood and lives. Revolutions are not free. There is a cost to rise up against the powers that seek to tie us, bind us, use our one precious lifetime for their own gain.

I could tell you to sit back, relax, enjoy the barbecues and hot dogs, slather your standard American body down with potato salad and jump into a kiddie pool filled with Bud Light (*or some “truly” American beer that wouldn’t advocate for human rights?*) while waving sparklers from every available appendage…but I won’t.

Today I’m going to tell you to remember the past, remember the fight. Remember there are things worth standing up for and things don’t change unless you rise up and change them.

Free yourself from the fear, trepidation, and self-doubt that keeps you from standing up for the rights of every man, woman, all-those-between, and child in this country. We are Americans and we stand together against the forces that seek to keep any one of us down.

Rise up.

Don’t give away your shot.

Be young, scrappy, and hungry, and take back your life, your country, your Supreme Court and the principles that sparked revolution and never give up the fight to win freedom for all of us to pursue happiness.

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News and Updates

It very rarely occurs to me to write a “news” letter to you all. I know! I know! It’s the basic Marketing 101 cornerstone of Author pages. You can imagine how many times I get the glaring remark of “What do you mean you don’t DO a newsletter?” passed down noses and in no small measure of disgust.

Listen…truth is, I rarely read newsletters. They fill up my in box, I feel like I should read them, but life is busy and its low priority. I don’t want to be some unopened email in your box, taking up space and upticking your stress. Plus, I very rarely have much to say about the goings-on of my life, writerly or otherwise. I write. I edit. I’m working on projects, but I’m not going to tell you about them unless it looks like they might actually make it into the world. The rest of my life is pretty non-invasive and I absolutely abhor bragging, especially the “humble” kind.

It isn’t that I’m not proud when something good happens. Of course I am, it’s justification right? That what we do is seen and appreciated? There’s nothing wrong with that. But I don’t want to fall into the trap of resting on my laurels because something I once scribbled down was appreciated enough to earn a sticker for the cover. I’m a writer, whether I get noticed or not. That being said (in an unnecessarily lengthy way) here’s the latest stuff and what I have coming up.

You might recall a few months ago I was nominated for the Colorado Book Awards.

It was an incredible honor and I’ve been submitting to that award for years. Well, the announcement was last Friday night and….I didn’t win, but it’s ok. It was a great evening and I was honored to be amongst so many talented writers and supportive people in the humanities.

So it looks like the next thing I have to do is…keep writing.

On that note, I’ve sent out my first LGBTQ+ romance (Male-Male) to my beta/sensitivity readers and am anxiously waiting for their feedback. That story (if it’s not completely rejected) will start airing in Vella at the start of October. Super excited about it, I love the characters and the storyline. In more Westbury news, I will be publishing Westbury Falls in a book format, hopefully by September of this year. The rest of the summer will be dedicated to trying to get that ready. I’ll even have some sneak peeks of cover design and art out in the coming weeks.

In July, I’m helping my Youth with their first anthology (in the dark depths of formatting currently) and that should be out mid-month. We hope to release it on the eve of the Writing Heights Writers Association Conference (register here), at a special ceremony celebrating our young writers. If you want to attend let me know or register on the site. It will be a wonderful and informative conference.

Lastly, I’m preparing to teach four separate workshops at the 2025 Colorado Writers Gold Conference hosted by the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers in late September (check it out here). I’m a little nervous as this is the biggest conference I’ve attended and taught at, but I think it’s going to be a fantastic adventure. Classes I’ll be teaching: The Year of 100 Rejections, Beyond Romance: Crafting Character Relationships, Creativity and The Writer’s Mind, and How to Write like a Martial Artist (including self-defense basics). So if you’re interested in coming to watch me squirm in a dress…there you go.

What else? Um…I’m researching for a new play (comedy, absurdest, derivative) and I’m shopping my literary fiction around in hopes I can have it published/contracted by the end of the year. I’m also working on booking the Fall retreat for WHWA and I’ll send along that information soon.

Now you know way more about my writing/editing. I hope you have a good summer and that this blog announcement isn’t just sitting in your inbox to be deleted, unread, at a later day. But you know what, from one newsletter avoider to another, I’m cool with that. Take care!

Life and a Bit of Poetry

I have to be honest. I didn’t get a post written this week. I’m actually surprised I’m even getting it done the day of. But if nothing else, I believe it’s consistency that builds skill, trust, and a life in total. So here’s a slap-dash post.

First, I’ve been truly busy this week working on a labor of love: The 2024 Writing Heights Youth Anthology (Name to be revealed soon!) I’m the Youth Coordinator and every month I plan out a lesson and writing prompts and load my heart up with lots of joy and compassion to teach a free class to teenagers about writing. We have about 15 in person and virtual students and the class varies in size depending on the stresses of school and life and other activities. But the work and I are always there (see above about consistency)

So far, the group has put together nearly a hundred pages of poetry, prose, fiction and non fiction pieces about life from their perspectives and stories from their imaginations. And its pretty damn good, if I do say so. Along the way, they’ve learned how to explore different modes of writing, critiquing and editing and what it means to communicate with each other and the world. This anthology is about more than just their first publishing credit, and getting paid for words. It’s about trusting in their voices, and learning that speaking up and speaking out is one of the greatest tools they will ever have to change their world and lead their own unique and beautiful lives.

That being said, I struggle with formatting and arrangement so… the majority of my time has been in trying to get each font just right, within the proper margins, and editing those pesky lines a few more times. The book should be out in July and I’ll let you know when the big release date is. Until then, if you’re interested in donating anything to the organization, you can contact Amy or Jess at director@writingheights.com . It’ll help us offset the costs of publishing, make sure the kids are paid for their hard work, and get the good word out about the program.

Now, I’ve gotta go try to make a table of contents *shudder*. Here’s some poetry.

Reluctant Hope

Every morning I wake
with a shuddering light of hope
in my chest

Weary from the day before
denied sustenance and light in kind
Yet, somehow...
I still wake with it

It strikes me as foolish
to hold on to this frail bird of a thing
in the dark cavern of my chest
neighbor to the empty heartbeats
that pump sanguine rivers
to heavy limbs

Still, she settles there
a stray who found warmth
on an otherwise rough
and dirty-guttered street

And when my eyes open
she blinks too
pulls my granite limbs up
like stringed fingers to a puppet
and whispers
a wind through grasses
from far away shores
of better days
That today
today
this day
will be better

Shuddering, flickering,
a loose bulb swinging in a dark room
making an arched smile as she dances
we'll make today better