K.J. Masters's Blog, page 2

When You HATE Someone

​Hate and unforgiveness.

These two things are the hardest to deal with, and every time I talk about them, people will write me and ask how a person stops hating and starts forgiving. They believe they can’t replace hate with love, or let go of the past.


If you think you can’t do it either, let me tell you something ….



IF I CAN DO IT, ANYONE CAN DO IT!



I struggled with hate and unforgiveness for many years. If someone did me wrong, I made sure they’d pay for it, and they did! I was the Queen of Revenge! And I was really, really good at it.

So how did the Queen of Revenge become the Queen of Forgiveness?



I’m going to share this with you, knowing you can do it, too!



The first mistake we make is trying to forgive for the wrong reason. We try to justify what’s been done to us and when we can’t do that, we find that we can’t forgive. Why? Because we feel the other person doesn’t deserve it.



Don’t focus on how you’ve been wronged. Don’t even focus on the other person. Focus only on the fact that God commands we must forgive our trespassers. Forgiveness has NOTHING to do with the person who’s wronged us, and EVERYTHING to do with GOD! We forgive because God commands it. But did you know when we forgive our enemies, we also become victorious over them? That’s quite a motivator, isn’t it? :-)~  



​And let's not forget, forgiveness brings peace and healing!​



​I have a great testimony about hate and forgiveness, and I share it all the time! It changed my life and revealed a lot about God to me. I used to work with a woman I LOATHED!!! I hated her so much that it kept me up at night. I dreaded going to work because I had to deal with her and her crooked business practices. So every day when I got home, I would confess to God what was in my heart. I would tell Him how much I hated her, and then I would repent and ask Him to help me to love her instead. Then I would pray for God to bless her and her family. In fact, I was praying for her more than myself.

This is the point where I get asked, “How were you able to pray for her and find love in your heart for someone you hated?” I could do this because I wasn’t focusing on how she had wronged me; I was focusing on being obedient to God. All I cared about was making sure I did right by Him. I also knew she WASN’T being obedient to God, and that He would give me favor in the situation.

Side Note: In my quest to love and forgive, I never lost focus over the fact that she was my enemy and was out to hurt me. God promises to protect us against our enemies, so I would pray His Word for PROTECTION. (Read Psalm 35.)

​“Fight my enemies, Lord! Attack my attackers! Shield me and help me.
    Aim your spear at everyone who hunts me down, but promise to save me.
  Trap them in their own nets and let them fall and rot in the pits they have dug.”



​It didn’t matter if anyone else could see how this person had wronged me. It didn’t matter if anyone else agreed with my position. God saw it, and He knew the TRUTH! While she was consumed with anger and plotting revenge against me, I was praying for her and asking God’s forgiveness and blessing in the situation. But I was also praying protection around myself.



This is how miracles are formed and mountains are moved. When you bypass your flesh to be obedient to God’s Word, He will MOVE MOUNTAINS for you. You will WIN!! No ifs, ands, or buts about it. You have got the VICTORY. You hold it in your hands when you stay in God’s obedience while under attack from the enemy.



Because I stayed obedient to God when my flesh really wanted to act out and get revenge, God used that woman’s evil deeds against me to bless me more than ever before. He removed me from that job (which He had promised me He would), and placed me on a completely different path.     



I went back to school and finished my B.S.in Theology and graduated summa cum laude. Then I started my dream career of writing books, which has been very prosperous for me. The fact that I get to wake up every day and do what I love in life is a Godsend and a dream come true! I got the blessing because I stayed obedient to God!



​EVERYTHING in life is ALWAYS all about GOD!



God will use the evil deeds of your enemies to benefit and prosper you! I was meant to be in the position I am right now; to be writing for His glory. He used my enemy’s evil to bless me and place me where He wanted me.



As for her? Let’s just say she got stuck in that job, which she hated—working for a man she hated even more—and last I heard she was selling shampoo.



But do remember what God says about giving us victory over our enemies … He warns us to never GLOAT. Thank Him for your victory and then share your testimony, but never rejoice in your enemy’s downfall. “Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice,” Proverbs 24:17. God gets the glory, then move on.



God is a God of Justice. “Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him.” Isaiah 30:18



God brought me this verse after defeating my enemy for me, and it’s one of my favorites now:

“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result,” Genesis 50:20.

Building a Marraige that Lasts!

​ 
Could I be so bold as to say I hold the secret to a long, prosperous, happy marriage? Yes, I could. Because, well, I do! I know the secret of having a healthy and happy marriage, and it’s not rocket science, my lovebirds. You don’t need the expertise of a marriage counselor to tell you to practice love and respect, to do this and not that, and so on—because that may not be what you need once you’ve hit the breaking point.

Are you ready to learn the secret to a marriage that’s healthy and happy?

Here it is: Pamper it from the beginning and chances are it won’t go bad.

Sound too easy?

I’m sure we’re all familiar with the expression “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” The thing is, we tend to neglect what “ain’t broke” until it eventually does break. Then guess what? We’ve got to fix it, and putting those little broken pieces together one by one can be tedious and tiresome.          
But if you cherish, pamper, and protect what “ain’t broke” chances are it will never break.

Have you seen these health and fitness shows on TV where sick and obese people go to get help? They have neglected their bodies for so long that if they don’t do something fast, they could die. They have a plethora of health issues: high blood pressure, high triglycerides, diabetes, just to name a few. They’re on the verge of becoming very ill, bedridden, and even facing death if they don’t immediately make some drastic lifestyle changes. Why do they wait until it’s almost too late before seeking help? For some, it’s just a lack of discipline.
It’s the same thing with marriage. If you take care of your relationship from the beginning, you have a better chance of keeping it healthy.

People often comment to Toby and I that we are a “power couple,” and many times I’m asked what keeps our marriage so strong. I could give a cheesy and generic answer such as, “love and respect for one another,” and that’s part of it, I agree. But the real powerhouse behind our marriage is that we pamper it. We take care of it and give it attention when nothing is wrong. That’s right, when NOTHING is wrong with it.

How do you “pamper” your marriage?

A few great ways are by attending different marriage gatherings, such as seminars, weekend retreats, simulcasts, workshops, or a Bible study on marriage.

If we keep our marriage strong and in tiptop shape from the start, odds are it won’t ever breakdown on us.

When we first set our wedding date (a year in advance), we immediately started protecting our future marriage by joining in on some of the above mentioned activities. We weren’t even married yet and we were already caring for and cherishing our relationship.

That, my friends, is the secret to a long lasting, healthy, loving marriage.

I’m not saying our marriage is perfect. Nothing in life is perfect, but we have very few complaints, and we attribute that to giving our union the attention it needs to keep growing in a healthy manner.

What does the Bible say about marriage?  

First of all, Jesus tells us “a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together” (Mark 10:7-9).

Let no one split apart what God has joined together. These are Jesus’ words.

The enemy attacks first on families. He wants to destroy the family unit God has created. Anyone who tries to break up a marriage will face the repercussions.

“A cord of three strands is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
In other words, a godly union is more powerful than anything coming against it.

The first thing I notice when Toby and I attend these marriage seminars is that the majority of the couples present are having major marital problems and that’s why they’re attending. Usually, Toby and I are the only ones smiling. Don’t wait ‘til it’s broke, people!

In a nutshell, pamper your marriage from day one. Don’t wait until rough waters to tend to it; it may be too late by then. Keep your union strong by attending marriage seminars, retreats, Bible studies, etc….

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22).

Marriage should be honored by all (Hebrews 13:4).

God, Trump, and Isaiah 45

​One of the biggest mistakes believers make is trying to place human logic on everything God does. Why do we do this when we know God has told us in Isaiah 55:8-9 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts. And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”

Just because you can’t understand what God is doing, or why He has anointed a certain person, doesn’t mean it isn’t so. Fighting against what God is doing is risky business. He warns us that sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator over His decisions (Isaiah 45:9).

Read Isaiah 45 where God is speaking about Cyrus, the Lord’s chosen one. Many Christians believe this is about Trump as well, our 45th president (note the 45). The Lord tells him that He called him by name for this work when he did not know Him. His purpose is so the world will know there is no other God.

Many Christians believe Trump will put God back at the center of our nation; that he will bring back Christian values. Hmm. Trump’s first day at work and he’s already signed an anti-abortion bill banning any federal money to be used for abortion.

Isaiah 45 says the Lord will raise His chosen one up to fulfill His righteous purpose, and that He will guide his actions so that restoration can be made, and that he will not seek a reward. Sound familiar? Trump has taken it upon himself to work and lead this country for an annual salary of $1. The similarities are uncanny!

The Lord says, “Do you question what I do for my children? Do you give me orders about the work of my hands? I am the one who made the earth and created people to live on it. With my hands I stretched out the heavens. All the stars are at my command” (Isaiah 45:11-12).

God is at work in this country, and He isn’t too concerned about whether or not we all agree with how He’s going about it. What we need to be doing as Christians is PRAYING for our leader.    

What it Means to Live a Quiet Life

​When Toby and I first moved to Lake Charles, I professed I wanted a year of peace. I explained to him what that would entail. It was actually quite simple. A year of peace, for me, would mean not having to deal with other people. We had been through a long and arduous move (that’s a whole other story on its own), and I needed some quiet time to recuperate; to concentrate on ME for a while. In other words, I was done dealing with the DRAMA others caused in my life, so I wanted to cut off my relationships for a while and just enjoy the peacefulness of a drama-free life.



Where I went wrong with my plan for peace is that I was seeking peace by REMOVING things (or people) from my life, when true peace comes from ADDING or focusing on the right things. True peace is found in Christ, by abiding in His Word.



In 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, Paul tells the Thessalonians “Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not believers will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others.”



I was ecstatic when I read this verse because it was right in line with what I was trying to accomplish; living a “quiet life.” But what Paul was referring to was living a life abiding in the Word of God. He was asking the Thessalonians to examine their daily habits, the way they conduct business, because the way we live and treat others is a reflection of our brotherly love.



Undisciplined living will usually result in pain to others and it disrupts the peace of the body of Christ. If we’re calling ourselves Christians, but living lives that are disruptive to others then that can cause us (believers) to fall into disrepute with outsiders.



It’s not that I needed a break from all people in general—I needed a break from the wrong people. This verse made me closer examine the disrupters in my life and I realized they were not living lives obedient to God’s Word. They had no regard for Scripture, therefore no respect for peaceful living. Their lives were centered around gossip and hate, causing drama and disrupt in the lives of others.



Paul was explaining that when our conduct is not biblical, it affects the lives of others in negative ways. Having “a quiet life” is to be something we, as Christians, strive for. When we strive to be at peace with ourselves and God, we’ll be a source of peace to our brethren. Such an act demonstrates a love for others.



People who cause disrupt for others are unbalanced in their lives. They need to “mind their own business” or attend to their own needs. This would involve getting their spiritual lives in order. When one’s priority is taking care of their own lives in a truly biblical way, they will grow spiritually and will be less likely to cause unwanted drama in others' lives.



Toby and I know someone who is so disruptive that every time they come around they affect us negatively. They try to stir up drama from over ten years ago. Things that we never think about and memories that have long been forgotten, are still fresh and alive in the mind and spirit of this person. They actually thrive on drama and causing havoc in others’ lives. They have absolutely no regard for Christian love with their brethren, and until they start respecting God’s commands and abiding in His Word, they will never live a life of peace and restfulness. They have no chance at receiving love because they don’t give love. Instead, their presence causes upheaval. What a horribly lonely life.



So what I want you to take away from this is that we are instructed to strive toward living in peace, living “quiet lives” focusing on treating ourselves, as well as others, in a way that is pleasing to God and in obedience to His Word. It is then that we will find the type of peaceful “quiet” living Paul talks about.

Stopping the BULLY in His Tracks

​Today, I’m discussing something that’s a bit out of the ordinary for me to write about, but God has recently put this subject on my heart, wanting me to share it with others.



I’m talking about BULLYING.



Bullying comes in many different forms, especially these days of social media where any stranger from around the world can easily slander someone’s name and verbally attack anyone they want. The thing about cyber-bullying is that it can be easily stopped by using a thing called the BLOCK button. There’s no better way of stopping the Internet trolls than by clicking on that one little button.



Although cyberbullying can certainly be emotionally damaging to a person, today I’m going to concentrate more on physical bullying and young kids. This is where I hear God calling to me.

I’ll be speaking from personal experience as well as other’s testimonies of being bullied. Let me start with Jillian Michaels. Yes, THAT Jillian Michaels. The Queen of Tough!  

 





​Jillian’s Story:



Jillian’s story of how her attitude and personality transformed is a great example of what a little self-confidence can do for a person. She was a young teenager, seventy pounds overweight. I can only imagine what names she was called in school and how many kids poked fun at her because she was … slightly on the pudgy side.



She didn’t have any after-school activities and was under-supervised, so she decided to get involved in martial arts. Remember, we are talking ancient times here—before the Internet—when kids actually participated in after-school activities.  

  

As she practiced martial arts, she found herself, not only becoming slimmer, but she was becoming stronger! She also felt she could handle herself Batgirl-style if someone were to approach her in a threatening manner. She went from a timid, overweight girl who stared at the ground when she walked the school halls so not to make eye contact with anyone, to a tough Super Hero-style chick, prancing around, head held high, daring someone to have the guts to look her in the eye.



Her personality completely transformed! Her confidence level skyrocketed. And guess what? Nobody in their right mind was going to mess with this tough broad! One could say this is pretty much what set her on course for her future. She wanted to help others get their confidence back. She wanted to help others get lean, mean and ripped! And that’s exactly what she did!    

 





​My Story:



My family relocated to San Antonio when I was ten, which meant a new school and new friends. I never had an issue making friends; my problems started when two older girls (twelve and thirteen) fell head over heels in love with my older brother. These girls wanted to befriend me because of him (ah, the beginning of a long future of “fake” friends and being used in order to get closer to my brother. Yuck!)



Anyhoo, these two older girls were totally off their rockers. One day they would adore me and want to be best friends, and then the next day they would corner me somewhere and threaten to hurt me. Always so full of drama and chaos. They would make up lies just to have something to be upset about.



It got so bad that I would play sick so I wouldn’t have to go to school and face them. This went on for a few months (although it seemed like years to a frightened ten-year-old). Then one day my prayers were answered when an older girl (same age as the bullies) moved in next door. Her name was Yvonne and the devil himself had nothing on her. She was one tough chick, I’m tellin’ ya! It took all of ten seconds for her to make it clear to my bullies that they would not be bothering me again, and they happily obliged!   



Now let me tell you about Yvonne. She was not bigger than the bullies. She wasn’t trained in martial arts or self-defense. So why were my bullies so intimidated by her? It’s because she exuded confidence. She wasn’t scared of them and was more than happy to show them that she had no problems defending herself. Plain and simple, her level of confidence scared them away!  





​So that’s the end of my bullying story. Now here’s my point….



Let me explain how quiet, little, timid me cocooned and then emerged Super Hero-style, much like the transformation Jillian “Batgirl” Michaels went through.



My whole life changed when I was twelve and I came in contact with a shiny, pink notebook for young girls. This notebook had pretty, glossy pages with beautifully sketched pictures of how a young girl is to take care of herself. How to fix her hair, trim her nails, dress appropriately, put on lipstick, eat right and exercise to stay healthy. It all was very intriguing to me, to say the least.



This is how my obsession with exercise and fitness began. Over the summer, I emulated everything in this book. I started exercising—leg lifts, which is how I got my infamous legs, btw! And hand weights. Yes, I was twelve and lifting weights. I have three brothers and I was able to use their free weights and barbells.



When school started back up in the Fall, I realized something right off the bat. I was bigger than everyone else. I was tall, toned and strong! I, like Jillian, dared anyone to even look at me wrong.



Now let me get this straight right away … I NEVER used my newfound strength to bully anyone. But I did use it to make sure no one would ever mess with me again. And no one dared, they were all too scared of me. Not because of anything I said or did, but because my confidence was through the roof and it radiated off me!



My goal was not to scare people; it was really just to be fit, but it worked to my advantage. It had benefits I never imagined!  

 





I'd like to change King's quote up a bit and say this:

​The principles of self-defense, even involving weapons and bloodshed, has never been condemned, even by Jesus! In fact, Jesus went as far as to tell His disciples to carry weapons for their protection and if someone didn't have one then he should sell his cloak in order to buy one (Luke 22;36). Jesus believed in self-defense and practiced it.   

 

​

Now to the PARENTS:



CONFIDENCE is EVERYTHING!!! If you have a child who is being bullied (or not), put him or her into an after-school activity that will not only build their bodies to be strong, but will build their confidence to soar!



If the smallest kid in the school thinks he can whip the biggest kid’s butt, then chances are that’s exactly what he’ll do. I’ve known small guys who intimidated even the biggest of jocks because they had the confidence of Dwayne “Rock” Johnson! That level of boldness is enough to make the biggest, toughest dudes turn and walk the other way.



A little self-defense goes a loooong way!



If you feel like you can defend yourself, chances are you can! And it shows! Your confidence level is evident to everyone around you just by the way you make eye contact, the way you walk, and the way you conduct yourself. The bully will take one look at you and decide to move on because he’s not sure whether or not he’s safe around you.



Good! That’s the way you want to be viewed. People have told me my entire life that no one messes with me because I’m intimidating. I don’t go around looking mean and tough, far from it! But I do have an attitude that I can hold my own and I don’t back down. People who are out looking for trouble can see this in me and they move on.



If your kid is being bullied, all he or she needs is an attitude transformation.



Recently, I was talking with someone who teaches self-defense and he was telling me how every one of us needs to know how to defend ourselves. It doesn’t matter if we’re big, small, male, female, young or old. When we leave the house, we need to know we have the ability to stop someone if they try to hurt us, or at least put up a darn good fight to where they won’t be back!

 





​Think about this:



Say you decide to try out wrestling for a day and you have two opponents to choose from. One has been wrestling for several years and may even have a few trophies at home, and the other has never wrestled a day in his life. Who would you choose?



We all know what drives the bully the most … FEAR. Deep down the bully is a blubbering wimp and will avoid anyone he thinks may be a good match for him. He will always choose the weakest because that’s what he is … WEAK!



Most kids will find fitness and self-defense courses fun (I sure did, and I've been working-out ever since) and it could, likely, lead to a great healthy hobby for them, like it did with Jillian and me. I later went on to try out boxing, which I loved and have recently taken back up. I’m even into Krav Maga (and that ain’t no joke). In a day and age where the couch potato is king, fitness is a must.



Recently, there was a video floating around the Internet of a big kid at school bullying another (smaller, of course) student. Apparently, this was a regular thing. The smaller kid must have taken some self-defense lessons, or something, because he turned around one day and just came alive. He defended himself and left the bully lying on the ground as he continued on his way.



I’m not advocating violence. Don’t twist it! It’s called SELF-DEFENSE for a reason. It’s so if we are ever faced with a situation where someone threatens bodily harm to us, we have the ability to defend ourselves, and that’s exactly what this kid did. When he was attacked, he was able to defend himself and stay safe.



Your child needs to feel confident that he or she can protect themselves if need be. It will change their world. I promise you! It will put an end to bullying, or even better, keep it from happening in the first place! 

         

Stopping the BULLY in His Tracks

​Today, I’m discussing something that’s a bit out of the ordinary for me to write about, but God has recently put this subject on my heart, wanting me to share it with others.



I’m talking about BULLYING.



Bullying comes in many different forms, especially these days of social media where any stranger from around the world can easily slander someone’s name and verbally attack anyone they want. The thing about cyber-bullying is that it can be easily stopped by using a thing called the BLOCK button. There’s no better way of stopping the Internet trolls than by clicking on that one little button.



Although cyberbullying can certainly be emotionally damaging to a person, today I’m going to concentrate more on physical bullying and young kids. This is where I hear God calling to me.

I’ll be speaking from personal experience as well as other’s testimonies of being bullied. Let me start with Jillian Michaels. Yes, THAT Jillian Michaels. The Queen of Tough!  

 





​Jillian’s Story:



Jillian’s story of how her attitude and personality transformed is a great example of what a little self-confidence can do for a person. She was a young teenager, seventy pounds overweight. I can only imagine what names she was called in school and how many kids poked fun at her because she was … slightly on the pudgy side.



She didn’t have any after-school activities and was under-supervised, so she decided to get involved in martial arts. Remember, we are talking ancient times here—before the Internet—when kids actually participated in after-school activities.  

  

As she practiced martial arts, she found herself, not only becoming slimmer, but she was becoming stronger! She also felt she could handle herself Batgirl-style if someone were to approach her in a threatening manner. She went from a timid, overweight girl who stared at the ground when she walked the school halls so not to make eye contact with anyone, to a tough Super Hero-style chick, prancing around, head held high, daring someone to have the guts to look her in the eye.



Her personality completely transformed! Her confidence level skyrocketed. And guess what? Nobody in their right mind was going to mess with this tough broad! One could say this is pretty much what set her on course for her future. She wanted to help others get their confidence back. She wanted to help others get lean, mean and ripped! And that’s exactly what she did!    

 



​My Story:



My family relocated to San Antonio when I was ten, which meant a new school and new friends. I never had an issue making friends; my problems started when two older girls (twelve and thirteen) fell head over heels in love with my older brother. These girls wanted to befriend me because of him (ah, the beginning of a long future of “fake” friends and being used in order to get closer to my brother. Yuck!)



Anyhoo, these two older girls were totally off their rockers. One day they would adore me and want to be best friends, and then the next day they would corner me somewhere and threaten to hurt me. Always so full of drama and chaos. They would make up lies just to have something to be upset about.



It got so bad that I would play sick so I wouldn’t have to go to school and face them. This went on for a few months (although it seemed like years to a frightened ten-year-old). Then one day my prayers were answered when an older girl (same age as the bullies) moved in next door. Her name was Yvonne and the devil himself had nothing on her. She was one tough chick, I’m tellin’ ya! It took all of ten seconds for her to make it clear to my bullies that they would not be bothering me again, and they happily obliged!   



Now let me tell you about Yvonne. She was not bigger than the bullies. She wasn’t trained in martial arts or self-defense. So why were my bullies so intimidated by her? It’s because she exuded confidence. She wasn’t scared of them and was more than happy to show them that she had no problems defending herself. Plain and simple, her level of confidence scared them away!  





​So that’s the end of my bullying story. Now here’s my point….



Let me explain how quiet, little, timid me cocooned and then emerged Super Hero-style, much like the transformation Jillian “Batgirl” Michaels went through.



My whole life changed when I was twelve and I came in contact with a shiny, pink notebook for young girls. This notebook had pretty, glossy pages with beautifully sketched pictures of how a young girl is to take care of herself. How to fix her hair, trim her nails, dress appropriately, put on lipstick, eat right and exercise to stay healthy. It all was very intriguing to me, to say the least.



This is how my obsession with exercise and fitness began. Over the summer, I emulated everything in this book. I started exercising—leg lifts, which is how I got my infamous legs, btw! And hand weights. Yes, I was twelve and lifting weights. I have three brothers and I was able to use their free weights and barbells.



When school started back up in the Fall, I realized something right off the bat. I was bigger than everyone else. I was tall, toned and strong! I, like Jillian, dared anyone to even look at me wrong.



Now let me get this straight right away … I NEVER used my newfound strength to bully anyone. But I did use it to make sure no one would ever mess with me again. And no one dared, they were all too scared of me. Not because of anything I said or did, but because my confidence was through the roof and it radiated off me!



My goal was not to scare people; it was really just to be fit, but it worked to my advantage. It had benefits I never imagined!  

 




I'd like to change King's quote up a bit and say this:
​The principles of self-defense, even involving weapons and bloodshed, has never been condemned, even by Jesus! In fact, Jesus went as far as to tell His disciples to carry weapons for their protection and if someone didn't have one then he should sell his cloak in order to buy one (Luke 22:36). Jesus believed in self-defense and practiced it.   



​

Now to the PARENTS:



CONFIDENCE is EVERYTHING!!! If you have a child who is being bullied (or not), put him or her into an after-school activity that will not only build their bodies to be strong, but will build their confidence to soar!



If the smallest kid in the school thinks he can whip the biggest kid’s butt, then chances are that’s exactly what he’ll do. I’ve known small guys who intimidated even the biggest of jocks because they had the confidence of Dwayne “Rock” Johnson! That level of boldness is enough to make the biggest, toughest dudes turn and walk the other way.



A little self-defense goes a loooong way!



If you feel like you can defend yourself, chances are you can! And it shows! Your confidence level is evident to everyone around you just by the way you make eye contact, the way you walk, and the way you conduct yourself. The bully will take one look at you and decide to move on because he’s not sure whether or not he’s safe around you.



Good! That’s the way you want to be viewed. People have told me my entire life that no one messes with me because I’m intimidating. I don’t go around looking mean and tough, far from it! But I do have an attitude that I can hold my own and I don’t back down. People who are out looking for trouble can see this in me and they move on.



If your kid is being bullied, all he or she needs is an attitude transformation.



Recently, I was talking with someone who teaches self-defense and he was telling me how every one of us needs to know how to defend ourselves. It doesn’t matter if we’re big, small, male, female, young or old. When we leave the house, we need to know we have the ability to stop someone if they try to hurt us, or at least put up a darn good fight to where they won’t be back!

 





​Think about this:



Say you decide to try out wrestling for a day and you have two opponents to choose from. One has been wrestling for several years and may even have a few trophies at home, and the other has never wrestled a day in his life. Who would you choose?



We all know what drives the bully the most … FEAR. Deep down the bully is a blubbering wimp and will avoid anyone he thinks may be a good match for him. He will always choose the weakest because that’s what he is … WEAK!



Most kids will find fitness and self-defense courses fun (I sure did, and I've been working-out ever since) and it could, likely, lead to a great healthy hobby for them, like it did with Jillian and me. I later went on to try out boxing, which I loved and have recently taken back up. I’m even into Krav Maga (and that ain’t no joke). In a day and age where the couch potato is king, fitness is a must.



Recently, there was a video floating around the Internet of a big kid at school bullying another (smaller, of course) student. Apparently, this was a regular thing. The smaller kid must have taken some self-defense lessons, or something, because he turned around one day and just came alive. He defended himself and left the bully lying on the ground as he continued on his way.



I’m not advocating violence. Don’t twist it! It’s called SELF-DEFENSE for a reason. It’s so if we are ever faced with a situation where someone threatens bodily harm to us, we have the ability to defend ourselves, and that’s exactly what this kid did. When he was attacked, he was able to defend himself and stay safe.



Your child needs to feel confident that he or she can protect themselves if need be. It will change their world. I promise you! It will put an end to bullying, or even better, keep it from happening in the first place! 

         

Is There Freedom in Obedience?

​I start this blog by confessing I have not kept my word. I planned to write about the importance of obedience to God’s Word once a month, and I have failed to keep that promise. So many of you must be extremely disappointed; I know just how much you were hoping to read about the importance of denying the flesh and obeying the Spirit. (WINK!)



It’s more pleasurable to fulfill your worldly lusts and desires than to be restricted to the demands of God’s Word, isn’t it? Well, not quite, but that’s just what Satan would love for you to believe so he feeds this lie to you. And to me….



Just recently, I could hear a voice in the distance trying to convince me that one can be semi-obedient to God’s Word and still reap the benefits of His favor, overflow, and blessings. Although on some level that may be true, any amount of disobedience steals the fullness of experiencing God. If you cheat, you get cheated. That’s just the way it works.



Unfortunately, I humored this voice and listened to what it had to say. Being tired, worn out from the world and too weak to conquer my own thoughts, I wanted to take an easier route. One that didn’t demand so much of me.



I need a break, God. I mean, I’m only human, right? Let me have a little vacay from living so strictly.



As soon as my thinking started to go south, guess who showed up at my door? I’ll give you a hint … the trickiest, sneakiest, deadliest snake to have ever graced this world with his presence. He didn’t come dressed in red. There was no pitchfork in hand or hoofed feet. Now, this will be shocking … there were no horns on his head! Nope! But he was in disguise, just not the disguise one might expect. He was clever enough to merge his lies with my own thoughts.  



Satan’s mouth never stopped flapping, spewing lies such as, “Total obedience isn’t necessary to get into the Kingdom of heaven. You can still enjoy the temptations of the world and receive God’s blessings in your life. A little sin never hurt anyone, just control it … don’t go crazy with it. You won’t lose your standing with God.”



Get BEHIND  me, Satan!



​Obedience isn’t constricting, sin is because it limits your ability to receive. Ooh, that was good, and it came from my mouth. Let’s say it again … Sin is constricting; it limits your ability to receive! Sin never prospers. Freedom isn’t found in sin. Freedom is found in obedience, which opens up countless amounts of opportunities in life! Put another way, obedience opens up the FLOODGATES of PROSPERITY!!!!!  



Is obedience really all that hard? Jesus said following Him isn’t the easiest thing to do. In fact, He said, “The gateway to life is VERY NARROW and the road is DIFFICULT, and only a FEW will ever find it” Matthew 7:14. Think about those words for a minute. Did He just say only a few of us are going to make our way into heaven?



Let’s not get lazy in our cross-carrying, peeps!



Jesus was very clear about what it would take to have a place in the Kingdom. He didn’t stutter! He said to desert our current lives in order to follow Him (Matt. 19:21). He told us to stop loving the things of this world—to put aside our own desires and instead desire nothing but Him. “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” Luke 9:23. What does this mean? It means to say “No” to yourself and “Yes” to God. It means, “Not my will but Yours be done” Luke 22:42.      

 

Jesus put things into perspective, we are to choose God above all else, even our own families, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” Whoa! Those are strong words. Are we supposed to hate our families in order to follow Jesus? I thought He was a peace, love and joy kind of guy?! (Scratching my head.)



Jesus isn’t teaching hate. He’s teaching sacrifice. He’s forewarning us that in order to truly be a follower of Christ we must be prepared to give up everything, even our lives. But our reward is eternal life with the Father.



This is why it’s a very difficult road with a very narrow gateway. Only few make it because only few are willing to deny themselves. Many love to live in the world, giving into worldly lusts and pleasures. The devil loves to tempt, and many fall for his schemes.



I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Jesus isn’t interested in whether or not you believe—even the demons believe (James 2:19)—He’s interested in whether or not you’re willing to FOLLOW.



​Ask yourself today: Are you willing to deny your worldly lusts to say “Yes” to Jesus? Are you willing to leave everything behind, if need be? Are you willing to lose friends and family in order to walk this very narrow road with Jesus? If not, what would it take to get your there?

Jesus sacrificed His life so that we could be forgiven of our sins and have eternal life with the Father. How hard is it really to sacrifice the things of this world when they only lead to death anyway?



As for me, I am not a lover of this world. It has nothing of substance to offer me and will one day pass away (Luke 21:33). I long for the day to be with my Savior!

Is There Freedom in Obedience?

​I start this blog by confessing I have not kept my word. I planned to write about the importance of obedience to God’s Word once a month, and I have failed to keep that promise. So many of you must be extremely disappointed; I know just how much you were hoping to read about the importance of denying the flesh and obeying the Spirit. (WINK!)



It’s more pleasurable to fulfill your worldly lusts and desires than to be restricted to the demands of God’s Word, isn’t it? Well, not quite, but that’s just what Satan would love for you to believe so he feeds this lie to you. And to me….



Just recently, I could hear a voice in the distance trying to convince me that one can be semi-obedient to God’s Word and still reap the benefits of His favor, overflow, and blessings. Although on some level that may be true, any amount of disobedience steals the fullness of experiencing God. If you cheat, you get cheated. That’s just the way it works.



Unfortunately, I humored this voice and listened to what it had to say. Being tired, worn out from the world and too weak to conquer my own thoughts, I wanted to take an easier route. One that didn’t demand so much of me.



I need a break, God. I mean, I’m only human, right? Let me have a little vacay from living so strictly.



As soon as my thinking started to go south, guess who showed up at my door? I’ll give you a hint … the trickiest, sneakiest, deadliest snake to have ever graced this world with his presence. He didn’t come dressed in red. There was no pitchfork in hand or hoofed feet. Now, this will be shocking … there were no horns on his head! Nope! But he was in disguise, just not the disguise one might expect. He was clever enough to merge his lies with my own thoughts.  



Satan’s mouth never stopped flapping, spewing lies such as, “Total obedience isn’t necessary to get into the Kingdom of heaven. You can still enjoy the temptations of the world and receive God’s blessings in your life. A little sin never hurt anyone, just control it … don’t go crazy with it. You won’t lose your standing with God.”



Get BEHIND  me, Satan!



​Obedience isn’t constricting, sin is because it limits your ability to receive. Ooh, that was good, and it came from my mouth. Let’s say it again … Sin is constricting; it limits your ability to receive! Sin never prospers. Freedom isn’t found in sin. Freedom is found in obedience, which opens up countless amounts of opportunities in life! Put another way, obedience opens up the FLOODGATES of PROSPERITY!!!!!  



Is obedience really all that hard? Jesus said following Him isn’t the easiest thing to do. In fact, He said, “The gateway to life is VERY NARROW and the road is DIFFICULT, and only a FEW will ever find it” Matthew 7:14. Think about those words for a minute. Did He just say only a few of us are going to make our way into heaven?



Let’s not get lazy in our cross-carrying, peeps!



Jesus was very clear about what it would take to have a place in the Kingdom. He didn’t stutter! He said to desert our current lives in order to follow Him (Matt. 19:21). He told us to stop loving the things of this world—to put aside our own desires and instead desire nothing but Him. “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” Luke 9:23. What does this mean? It means to say “No” to yourself and “Yes” to God. It means, “Not my will but Yours be done” Luke 22:42.      

 

Jesus put things into perspective, we are to choose God above all else, even our own families, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” Whoa! Those are strong words. Are we supposed to hate our families in order to follow Jesus? I thought He was a peace, love and joy kind of guy?! (Scratching my head.)



Jesus isn’t teaching hate. He’s teaching sacrifice. He’s forewarning us that in order to truly be a follower of Christ we must be prepared to give up everything, even our lives. But our reward is eternal life with the Father.



This is why it’s a very difficult road with a very narrow gateway. Only few make it because only few are willing to deny themselves. Many love to live in the world, giving into worldly lusts and pleasures. The devil loves to tempt, and many fall for his schemes.



I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Jesus isn’t interested in whether or not you believe—even the demons believe (James 2:19)—He’s interested in whether or not you’re willing to FOLLOW.



​Ask yourself today: Are you willing to deny your worldly lusts to say “Yes” to Jesus? Are you willing to leave everything behind, if need be? Are you willing to lose friends and family in order to walk this very narrow road with Jesus? If not, what would it take to get you there?

Jesus sacrificed His life so that we could be forgiven of our sins and have eternal life with the Father. How hard is it really to sacrifice the things of this world when they only lead to death anyway?



As for me, I am not a lover of this world. It has nothing of substance to offer me and will one day pass away (Luke 21:33). I long for the day to be with my Savior!

Love is in the Air!

​I can’t allow Valentine’s Day to come and go without talking about love and marriage. This morning on Hoda and Kathie Lee (yes, I watch their show—and love it! What of it?), they had some couples on who’ve been married for fifty to sixty (plus) years sharing their secrets of a happy and healthy marriage. Now, I’ve been married a fraction of that time, but I also have secrets to a happy, healthy marriage that I like to share whenever I can—and guess what? The advice I give is the exact same advice they were dishing out this morning.

EXCITED!

A short while ago, Toby and I were laughing about how some husbands have the tendency to block out their wife when she’s talking about something he may not want to hear. We call it “selective hearing.” I made the comment that, besides Toby’s selective hearing, I have absolutely no complaints about our marriage and that it’s near perfect (praise God!). A relative who was in the room with us commented, “That’s scary,” and made an ugly face.

I immediately recalled that this person’s marriage had been anything but happy (she’s divorced, and has been for many years). Her marriage had been poisoned with alcohol abuse, which she chose over her own husband and children. Her marriage was a place of toxicity, misery, and unhappiness. So much so, that she did nothing to try to save it or better it, so it ended in divorce. So, no … I don’t expect a person who never cherished her own marriage to understand why Toby and I cherish and nurture ours. I also don’t expect her to understand what a healthy marriage even means. This person went on to insist (repeatedly) that our marriage must have problems because every marriage does. No, every marriage doesn’t. Do we ever argue? Yes. Do we disagree on things occasionally? Yes. Do we have marital issues? NO!

And here’s why….

If you treat your marriage as the most important thing in your life (because it is), it will continue to prosper into eternity!









​So how do you keep your marriage strong, loving, peaceful, vibrant, and happy?

​Here’s what works for us:The first and most important advice I can give for a healthy marriage is to follow biblical instructions. There’s a reason God’s Word informs women on how to treat their husbands, and informs men on how to treat their wives—because it WORKS! (Ephesians 5:22-29).   
Don’t go to bed angry. EVER! Fix your issues and make them right before you lay your head down at night. Don’t start the next day off on yesterday’s ugliness. Start it fresh and new. “Do not let the sun go down on your anger” Ephesians 4:26.    
Cherish your marriage from the very beginning. If you nurture your marriage in the good times, there will be far less bad times to come. The biggest mistake couples make is they wait until things get bad before seeking counseling/guidance. If you put this same effort into your marriage from day one, you may never get to the breaking point. Also, when you hit rough waters, it won’t destroy you because you’ll be ready—you’ve already prepared yourselves for it. 
Have the mindset that you’ve become ONE now that you’re married. Married couples are to be viewed as a unit instead of two individuals. This way you’ll be able to experience the joy and excitement that God intends marriage to have. Every decision involves you both, so keep in mind how the other one will be affected and never leave them out. “And the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh” Mark 10:8.



​Right before Toby and I got married we participated in the “Fireproof Your Marriage” Bible Study. So, basically, we went into our marriage STRONG (Fireproofed) and we’ve kept it that way ever since by continuing to participate in other marriage-focused Bible Studies. In fact, Matt and Lauren Chandler are getting ready to do a simulcast called “Mingling of Souls,” which focuses on building healthy relationships in marriage. We’ll be getting together in our home with other couples for this simulcast.



Treat your marriage like the precious gem that it is and it will continue to PROSPER! Your marriage is your blessing and gift from God!

 

It’s been my own personal experience that when you marry your best friend, it gets better and better over the years. You grow closer, stronger, happier, and more in love.

OBEDIENCE: A MIND CHANGER, HEART CHANGER & LIFE CHANGER

​I don’t need to follow Jesus down to the very last detail. I do most of the things a good Christian should do anyway. I go to church every Sunday, and even on some Wednesdays. I believe in Christ and that He died for my sins and so I could have eternal life. I believe the Holy Bible is the true Word of God. I’m a good person; better than most people. So what’s a little sin here and there going to hurt? God will still bless me because He knows how much I love Him and how hard I try.



Do you ever experience these thoughts? Maybe they pop into your head occasionally, maybe daily. These are actually lies of the enemy. Satan will fill your head with the above excuses to keep you from living an obedient lifestyle and receiving the Lord’s blessings in your life. Let's be frank, these are the excuses of a person who is unable (unwilling) to stop living for himself/herself in order to live for the Lord.



When you choose to live your way instead of God’s way, you are robbing yourself of God’s many blessings.



Can you still receive God’s blessings if you’re living a half-obedient life?



Sure you can, but you are missing out on soooooo much more when you choose sin over obedience, such as a close and intimate relationship with your Creator!



​One of my favorite pastors in San Antonio once told his congregation “I’m not going to stand up here and preach about drinking. In fact, nowhere in the Bible does it say to not have a drink, but I will tell you this … nothing good ever comes from drinking.” Of course, he was referring to the abuse of alcohol, which the Bible strongly warns about, even stating that drunkards will not enter into the Kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Galatians 5:21).



It was this church service that I realized the Holy Spirit was convicting me about my drinking, and instead of obeying, I fought it by going home and looking up Scriptures that would justify alcohol. You want to know what? Not only could I NOT justify my drinking, but I ended up confirming the fact that God does not like anything that's mind-altering. God’s Word tells us numerous times to live self-controlled lives and to be sober-minded (1 Peter 4:7, 5:8; Titus 2:2, 2:12).  



This blog post is not about alcohol.



This blog post is about OBEDIENCE!



It's about being obedient to God’s Word so that you can build a deeper and closer relationship with Him. So that you can experience His blessings on your life. So that you can start living out the purpose He has for you.



If you think God is going to move you into your purpose while you’re living in sin, then you need to know that is NOT how God operates. God does not bless sin!

​



Recently I was flipping channels on TV when I came across a popular reality show. I heard the mother tell her very famous adult daughter, "God has blessed you so much," referring to her fame and fortune. The thing is, the daughter's fame and fortune is the result of a sex tape. I've got news for the mother, God did not bless this sex tape. He did not reward her daughter for her sins.







But there is someone who works hard to elevate the sins of others. His name is Satan. He wants young girls to fall into the trap of idolizing women who live in sin. Satan likes to glamorize sin to make it appealing to unbelievers so they, too, will be drawn to a lifestyle of disobedience. His main focus is to steal God's glory and take His children to hell. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy (John 10:10). It's not a blessing if you had to sin to get it!



When you choose to stop giving in to worldly temptations and you stop participating in worldly lusts, and instead choose to be obedient to God’s Word, your whole world will change! Opportunity will come your way. Doors will start opening. Favor will rain down on your like you’ve never experienced before. That’s God moving you to the next level!



Drunkenness, drug abuse, fornication, adultery, hatefulness, cursing, cheating, lying … these repeated behaviors rob you from experiencing God’s blessings in your life. They are the WALL between you and your God-given purpose.   



I’m not saying you have to be completely sin-free in order to experience God’s favor, but repeated sin will always knock you down. It’s destructive in every area of your life because it gives the devil a foothold. When you make a choice to ignore God’s Word in order to live in sin you will not receive the blessed life God has waiting for you.



Obedience is the pathway to BLESSINGS!



We all trip up and stumble occasionally. I know I do! It’s to be expected. I’m not writing this blog today in order to shame anyone. I’m writing this because God put it on my heart to stress the importance of obeying His commandments. He wants you to experience Him in His entirety, but far too often we have a habit of allowing sin to separate us from His love. This pains Him because He longs for us to live in His presence, experiencing all that He has for us.



If you want an intimate relationship with God and a powerful prayer life, obedience is key!



Matthew 16:24-25:

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” 



 Heavenly Father,

I know You have created me with a purpose and plan for my life. I know You desire me to have a life filled with joy, favor, and victory. Please help me to deny myself so that I can be an obedient follower of Christ. I know in order to fulfill the destiny you have for my life, I must live in obedience to Your Word, keeping my mind and my heart focused on You. Help me to attain self-control in all areas of my life, and to be sober-minded in everything I do. Examine my heart, and show me those places where I may lack obedience. Give me discernment about the things which keep me from obtaining my goals and achieving the desires and dreams you have put in my heart in Jesus’ name! Amen!





(This is Part One of a series.)