Carl Medearis's Blog, page 8

Mentor #3 – Jim Elliot

I grew up on Jim Elliot. He was my childhood hero. I read the book “Through Gates of Splendor” probably five times before I was 12 years old.

I wanted to be like him. I wanted to fly a bush plane into the jungles like Nate Saint. I was even ready to die – like them. I have often thought I would. (I haven’t, in case you’re wondering).

Jim Elliot was born in Portland, Oregon. So was I. I’m afraid that’s probably where the similarities end.

The hymn that five missionaries sang before they left has these words:

We rest on Thee, our Shield and our Defender.

Thine is the battle, Thine shall be the praise;

When passing through the gates of pearly splendor,

Victors, we rest with Thee, through endless days.

Jim Elliot’s passion and focus for Jesus and for people who didn’t know Jesus was what drove him. They intended to reach out to the Quichua natives in Ecuador but once they found out there was a more remote and feared tribe called the Waodani (Auca) then his focus immediately shifted. Jim wanted to reach the hardest people.

When the five were killed – the amazing story visually told through End of the Spear – the families stayed on. His wife, Elizabeth wrote the book while still in Ecuador. A year later, they made their first peaceful contact with the Waodani – who have now mostly committed their lives to believing in and following Jesus.

Through his life I have been constantly convicted to:

1. Carry in my heart the peoples of the world who have never heard!

2. Increase my passion for Jesus. Not just teaching others about Jesus – but having, within myself, a passion to believe!

3. To be ready to risk it all. No fear. This “bent” was planted in me by these brave families who risked it all – and gave it all.

I will too….

Mentor I don’t know Personally #4

Mother Theresa has always been an enigma to me. She’s female, I’m male. She’s short, I’m tall. She’s Catholic, I’m Protestant. She loves the poor, I prefer the rich. She preaches with her life – I use my words. You might say, she’s the anti-Carl Medearis. And that’s why I love her!

There’s really nothing specific to say here. We all “know” who Mother Theresa is. I don’t know her more than you – just always feel convicted by her life. She holds my feet to the fire by what she said and did and HOW she said and did it. ‘nough said…..

My Top 5 Mentors I’ve never Met:

I learned years ago from Dr. Robert Clinton, that “mentoring” is a big word and a broad category. In the past, when someone would ask me to “mentor” or “disciple” them I’d basically say some version of “no.” I “wasn’t gifted that way” I’d say. I’m more the upfront guy. The door-opener. The friend. The catalyst. But a mentor – no way. It just sounded intimidating to me. I had visions of meeting with that person one hour every week (probably at an ungodly time of the morning)….forever. Doing Beth Moore type fill-in-the-blank studies. Just not me. So….NO!

But Clinton set me free from those silly thoughts by giving me 9 different types of mentoring. I won’t describe them – as I think they’re fairly self-explanatory. But here they are:

Discipler (which is basically the version I had in my head).

Spiritual Guide

Coach

Counselor

Teacher

Sponsor

Contemporary Model

Historical Model

Divine Contact

He even used the term “Occasional Mentor.” That was me. Sort of a coach/sponsor/contemporary model/Divine Contact sort of guy – occasionally. I felt comfortable with that.

So these next five personal mentors would be “Historical Models” that I’ve wanted to emulate in some way. Who have convicted me by their life and writings. They have been a bit of all nine of the above at one time or another – although I’ve not met them.

The First is NT (Tom) Wright. I have had the privilege of emailing with him over the years and he’s going to be speaking (via Skype from Scotland) at our Simply Jesus gathering here in Denver this November, but I’ve not met him personally.

Here’s what Tom’s taught me – from his writings:

1. That theology can be cool. This is a big one for me. I haven’t always thought that. At times in my life, I’ve dissed theology and doctrine. I’m sorry for that. I saw it as a dead end, not leading to Jesus (which it can be). Or as something only really smart people who sit in old musty churches do.

2. Bishop Wright has reminded me that it’s all about the Kingdom of God. That was hammered into me by George Eldon Ladd as well as John Wimber – but Tom Wright has defined it so eloquently over the years in his writings.

3. Dr. Wright has taught me that I can think deeply about the ways of Jesus, the Bible, God, the church, faith and everything else “theological” AND be moved to love Jesus more at the same time. It’s not one or the other – it’s both and….

4. Finally, he has reminded me to take time for “the little guy,” as he has done with me!

There are many other such authors who have inspired and taught me through their books. Two of them will also be with us at the Simply Jesus Gathering in November. Dallas Willard and Philip Yancey. Can’t wait….

I encourage you to allow yourself to be mentored by authors who have gone before us!

My #1 Mentor

Well, here we are – at #1. The one who has taught me most, influenced me most and even trained me most. You guessed it – my wife, Chris.

Before I dive into this one, let me reiterate that there are MANY others who could be on this list. Mentoring, and being mentored, is not a science, it’s an art. It’s about friendships that shape you. And I’ve had many over the years. They come at opportune times to teach a lesson. There names are Grant and Nathan and Sameer and Floyd and Greg and Bart and Mike and….. SO many that I and we are grateful for. You know who you are and so does God. Thank you.

Now, back to my #1 – in so many ways. Christine Lymberopoulos. My Greek goddess. My best friend. And…..my teacher.

It’s often joked that wives are “training” their husbands. In our case, she’s had a rough job. There are so many, but here are the main things she’s taught me in our 26 years of marriage.

Be focused on the one in front of you. I tend to be a visionary – which is often nothing more than an excuse to NOT focus. She never does that. She’s fully attentive to whoever is in front of her. 100%. Very much like Jesus!

Be kind to everyone. She talks to people on the street. In the restaurant. The neighbors. The poor. Kids. She’s always kind. I try to be kind – but she’s taught me the actual power of kindness.

Be present for your family. She had great role models in her dad and mom when it came to presence. Her mom was a nurse and the mother of 8. She became a stay-at-home mom once she had kids. Her dad was a Doctor. Both (potentially) very busy – but they always made time for their family. While I was off conquering the world, Chris was present – and she taught me to be as well.

Be hospitable. The power of hospitality was central to all we’ve done and who we are. I grew up with that modeled as well – but Chis had a beautiful Greek version of that which fit into the Middle Eastern way of life nicely. We have people over all the time and Chris is the queen at making them feel comfortable.

Be spiritual. She is perhaps the most intuitively spiritual person I know. She doesn’t have a religious bone in her body. She prays. Studies. Worships. Loves Jesus. That always challenges me.

It wasn’t even close – she’s been the one who’s taught me most. And I love her for it.

John Wimber. My #2 Mentor

My wife, Chris, and I were married on June 7th, 1986. A wonderful day! We took a week-long honeymoon (camping at Lake Powell) and came back for another week off to settle in to our new apartment in Colorado Springs. At the time, I was the part time Singles Pastor at a large church in town. We had another Sunday off so we decided to visit this new thing called “The Vineyard.” It was a weird little church with about 40 people meeting in a grade school gymnasium. Metal chairs. A pastor who played the guitar in a rock ‘n roll band – and everyone drinking coffee and eating donuts. Very strange.

And we cried through the whole service. Don’t even know why. We just did! Soon afterwards, we ended up at this church (I think it was the only time in my life I ever changed churches). I eventually ended up on staff at the Colorado Springs Vineyard Christian Fellowship Church – and that’s who sent us off to Beirut in 1992.

While the pastor of that church became a good friend and a mentor in my life as well (Steven Todd is his name – we’re still close friends), who I want to acknowledge here as my 2nd most influential mentor is the founder of the Vineyard churches – John Wimber. He taught me so much.

We met several times between 1987 and 1997 when he died. These are the things I learned from him:

1. “Everyone gets to play in the Kingdom of God.” He loved saying that. There are no rock stars. No specially “anointed men” who have all of the gifts from God to do all of the ministry. Just a bunch of ordinary people who “get to play.” That was revolutionary for me as I came from a background where there was only one – or maybe a handful – of gifted people who did all of the ministry.

2. That worship (the singing kind) was about actually interacting with a personal God in a real-time sort of way. Intimacy was a word I’d never heard in conjunction with God and worship. This was all new – and scary – territory for me.

3. Healing and other gifts of the Holy Spirit were not mine to own, but they were God’s to give as he wanted and when he wanted to whomever he wanted. I could pray for a sick person and they could be made well – not because of me, but because of God. More scary stuff.

4. And…maybe, most importantly – I could be myself. No hype needed. No fancy clothes, big hats, special robes or smoke and mirrors. I could be “naturally supernatural.” God wanted to work through the cracked vessel called “Carl.”

I owe much to my heritage set by my parents growing up in the church (my dad was also my pastor). They could (and probably should) be in every one of these lists. And they believed and practiced all of the above four points – but somehow I never caught them until I heard them and saw them from John Wimber and the Vineyard.

And I am forever different and grateful. Both for the spiritual heritage of my family and for the legacy left to me through the Vineyard churches by John Wimber!

My Mentor #3

Doug Coe will be mad when he finds out I’ve done this. He doesn’t like to be in the spotlight. He doesn’t do interviews. Doesn’t write books or articles. Doesn’t have a website or Facebook page. Doesn’t even (personally) do emails. He’s a purest. His idea is that Jesus influenced the whole world without any of those things – so he should as well. Not a bad thought….

And….that’s why he’s the third most influential person in my life. He’s controversial for sure! He’s so behind-the-scenes that people mis-interpret him as being sneaky, even subversive. He’s lived in the DC area forever, working with US leaders and people of influence around the world. He’s sort of the “godfather” of the National Prayer Breakfast and all the relational work that flows from that – sometimes called “The Fellowship.”

I’ve been with Doug in the Middle East, in Canada, several times in Colorado, and many times in Washington DC. He’s the real deal. Ruthlessly focused on Jesus. Every time he walks into the room – whatever we were talking about before – immediately turns to Jesus.

He always asks questions like “Hey Carl, how’s it going with your 36 groups of 2?” Huh? My 36 groups of 2? What the heck is that? He explains – “You know, like Jesus’ big strategy. He sent out 36 groups of 2. I figure if Jesus did it, we should be too. You’re following him, right?” Ugh!

Or he says, “Hey Carl, what have you and Samir agreed on lately so Jesus can do it?”

Or…”I heard that you and your friend so and so aren’t doing that great together. Let’s call them right now and get this right.” And he calls….

Once we were spending two days together – just four of us. And one was a man of great influence – who’s name you’d know. One of Doug’s secretaries kept coming in and handing Doug a note. But he wouldn’t respond – we were going through the scriptures intently. Finally this man of great influence who we were with said to Doug “Go ahead and take that – whatever it is, we can wait for a bit, it’s obviously important.” (It was the President of an African country who had just stopped in to say hi – that’s who Doug was ignoring).

Doug, got very intense and looked at this leader and said “What do you think we’re doing here?” The man replied “Uhhhh, studying the Bible?”

“NO” Doug said emphatically. We are learning the ways of the King that made all Kings. There is a “king” outside, but we’re studying the One who created that King – you want to stop doing that so I can go and say hi to this man in the foyer?”

And we kept going…..

I owe Doug much. I haven’t always agreed with him. (Or maybe it’s better said – he hasn’t always agreed with me)! But he has taught me more than anyone how powerful it is to stay focused on Jesus of Nazareth. Not religion. Not debates. Not politics. In a sense – not even people. Just Jesus.

Most of my life I was focused on Christianity. Doctrine. The church. Missions. Evangelism. I would have called it the stuff around Jesus. Or the stuff of Jesus. But it wasn’t Jesus himself. I have changed. And I thank Doug for that. He’ll never read this – and I won’t tell him I wrote it. But his impact has been unbelievably powerful and transformative – and I thank you – Doug! Thank you!

My Mentor #4

Many of you know the name “Samir.” He has been a central figure in so many of my stories. I got to know him and his family through his oldest son who was part of our university student work called “The Olive Grove” in the late 90’s.

He’s a Lebanese businessman who has lived in Saudi Arabia for many years. Samir and I first met in 1998 and instantly became best friends. He took me under his wing, introduced me to all of his friends – and led me into a new way of thinking about the Middle East and in many ways – Jesus.

He and I and my other friend, also named Sameer, formed a small group of three that would meet together regularly to pray, study the scriptures and dream about life and changing our world. Samir would simply believe what Jesus said. As a Muslim he didn’t have the baggage that I brought to the discussion out of my Christian heritage. He would just read the words – and believe. When Jesus said “If two or three agree on anything in my name…I will do it” – he just believed. And so he would say – “What should we agree on today?”

And the stories that came from that are many and amazing!

Samir taught me how to have fun. He would joke “Carl came to teach me about Jesus and I’m here to teach him how to party.” It was true. I arrived in Lebanon as a fairly uptight missionary working hard to convert the heathens. But I didn’t know how to relate. Relax. Have fun! The parties at the Kreidieh’s home were the best. Oftentimes hundreds of people enjoying life with good Cuban cigars, a glass of something good to drink and a live band with dancing. All new to me. But in every corner – and sometimes all together – we’d have amazing conversations about faith, God and life.

Samir has taught me SO much. Ways to think of leadership relationally, not structurally. How to love both the rich and the poor. How to say “no” without saying no. What it looks like to love your kids and wife. How to honor people who deserve honor…and even those who don’t.

Most of what I do now and much of how I do it – came from Samir. My debt to him is lifelong, and my love for him and his family is full of deep gratitude. Thank you Samir!

Mentor #5

My “Core Group.”

I grew up around organizational boards and accountability groups. When we moved to Lebanon in 1992 we had a board. But I knew that our legal non-profit board wouldn’t be enough – we’d need more. So I formed an email list in 1994 and called it “My Accountability Team.” I added basically added any and every one I respected. I think it was about 20 people.

I’d send them an email about once a month and let them know what I was doing or thinking of doing and would ask for input. About a third would reply with something like “Great, praying for you.” A third wouldn’t reply at all. And a third would give some sort of input. From the pool of the 6 or 7 that would give input, I could basically find any answer I wanted. “Go for it.” Or…”Don’t do it.” Or…whatever. It was all there in the Smorgasbord of “accountability.”

In fact, I think I learned during that period of my life, that there are two keys to real accountability:

I have to want it. Really and honestly want it.

It has to be small enough and specific enough that I can’t simply look for the “answers” I want.

Towards the latter years of our lives in Beirut – starting in about 2002 – we formed what we’ve called our “Core Group.” It’s been three couples. They all know us well. We’ve been friends for years. They’ve been to Lebanon and around the Middle East with us. They know our kids. Our marriage. Our finances. They are not my legal board (I still have one of those as well), but they are a group of life-long committed friends who we trust and love.

But one of them stands out – Rick Malouf. He is the one I talk to every week. Usually several times a week.

We travel together. He’s taught me about the power of friendship. He’s prayed for me when I needed hope. Gave me direction when I lacked clarity. Helped with big decisions and small. I think we call it “being a friend.” That’s Rick. A friend. Maybe the most powerful kind of mentor there is.

Here’s to our “Core Group.” And here’s to my buddy, Rick! You are amazing!

My Top Ten Life Mentors

The Scriptures do not call us to evangelize and convert – they call us to “make disciples.” That’s what Jesus asked his original followers to do – and he still asks that from us today. Make disciples. Apprentices. We are to be apprenticed to Jesus himself. We are his disciples. Followers. This is how we find life – to believe in, follow and love the ways and person of Jesus the Christ.

But we seem to get confused as to how that’s done. We can go to church. Better yet, actually be involved in one. We can read and study the Scriptures. We can pray. All needed if you’re going to know who it is you’re following. But we also need others in our life that intentionally “disciple” us. To be our mentors. Teachers. To walk with us and pass on the things they’ve learned to us.

It’s 2 Timothy 2:2 stuff. Paul says “The things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men and women who will also be qualified to teach others.”

This is what I do. I am like Paul. I help people follow Jesus. But I’m also like Timothy – in need of a Paul. In fact, I’m such a slow learner that God has graciously given me many such Paul’s in my life. Some I’ve known personally, while others I’ve learned from vicariously through their writings.

Over the next days, I’d like to tell you who they are and what I’ve learned from each one. I will give you the “Top Five” who have taught me through personal interaction and then the Top Five who I’ve never met personally, but have taught me much.

And may this encourage you to be both a Paul (teaching others to follow Jesus) as well as a Timothy (being taught to follow Jesus).

I am a Fan!

There’s a great book out these days called “Not a Fan” by Kyle Idleman.

The title and the book makes a ton of sense – Jesus doesn’t just want “fans” he wants people who are fully devoted to him and follow him. I couldn’t agree more.

But last night I had a moment of confusion. I was a fan. Chris and I, our daughter, Marie and her friend went to a Denver Nuggets basketball game – with 17,000 other fans. The Nuggets were down by 5 points with 10 seconds left – and it was the 76′ers ball. No way we win that game. But we did. And the place went absolutely insane. People were hugging total strangers. Chris and I were high-fiving the people beside us, in front of us and behind us. It was one gigantic love-fest. We loved our Denver Nuggets. And we loved each other.

We were FANS! And “WE” won the game.

Only 9 Denver Nuggets actually played the game. None of us 17,000 fans played a second. We didn’t do anything, except yell and scream. None of those 9 players knew my name. None cared for or asked about me. So why do I honestly think that “We” won the game? Why did I and our family feel such a part of the win? There seems to be some kind of magic in being a fan. Something positive.

Maybe it’s like the crowds who followed Jesus. They weren’t committed. They were just fans. They were Jesus Groupies. Part of his large entourage. And he seemed to love them. To encourage them.

It’s constantly interesting to me that so many on my Facebook and Twitter like to point out that the Muslims, Jews and others who are saying they “love Jesus” aren’t really. Someone posted this morning that “unless the Muslim believes in the deity of Christ – he can’t be loving Jesus.” Really? Who says?

They’re a fan. Let them be a fan. Maybe they’re in the game – maybe not. But don’t rebuke them for being fans of Jesus. In the post-game interviews, all of the Denver Nuggets players thanked the fans. They didn’t say “Hey you knuckleheads, you weren’t even in the game. You don’t know how hard it is out here. So just shut up.” Of course not – they honored us. Almost made us feel like WE won the game and they were incidental. I love that.

Let’s be the same. Encourage the fans to follow more closely and see more clearly. But never make them feel like they’re on the outside, and we’re the only real followers!