Leila Marie Lawler's Blog, page 50

{pretty, happy, funny, real} A little house update

What is this {pretty, happy, funny, real} you speak of?

~ {pretty, happy, funny, real} ~

Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

Every Thursday, here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

Come on in and see a little bit of our home!

The front door of our little Cape Cod-style house opens right into one big room, where we spend the majority of our time at home.

We set up our little oratory right there, so it’s just in the center of our home. I do love that we have such a central place for it.

My mom found the cabinet at an antiques mall near her house up in Massachusetts and brought it down when she came to help with Desmond’s birth.

I keep all our glasses, jars, and kids’ dishes in here, freeing up valuable real estate in the kitchen. (I’d prefer to have the plates and such in here, but they don’t fit, so glassware it is.) Freddie can reach his own dishes to set on the table, which he loves.

Down below I keep baby bibs, kitchen linens, and plastic ware–all things that can stand being rifled through or strewn about by rascally little children, not that my children are rascals or in fact anything but angels.

From the front door, turn right and you see the dining room table. This past winter I happened to mention to a friend that we were still using a card table in the dining room, having purged half of our furniture for our Houston move.

Well, I picked the right person to complain to, because she just happened to have a spare table taking up space in her house, her own husband having just made her a new one!

The living room is to the left from the entrance.

(Apparently now it’s trendy to have lots of white in your house. Lucky renters we are!)

My next big project is curtains. Curtains are so hard to commit to in any case (why so expensive, window treatments?), but especially for such a big, white area, where they’ll stand out so much… I’m having commitment issues.

My ongoing challenge is the front door itself. Keeping it clean and organized while also keeping the our things close at hand is a constant battle.

Our favorite part of living here, though, is the outside. When we want to get out, we just…walk out!

After getting shoes and hats, and maybe clothes and diapers, and grabbing a blanket for the baby to sit on, and gathering the trucks that need to come with us. Then we just walk out.

Not so pretty, but we’ll keep at it.

It’s all worth it to get to this big backyard, complete with a clothesline so low that, once it’s loaded up, the toddler can do his evening chores cleaning up after a windy day.

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Father’s Day gift ideas: beyond neckties and grill tools.

Three fathers! Because that little baby is now a father of two… sniff…

I’m excited because the girls and I have thought of stellar ideas for a Father’s Day gift for those of you who can’t think beyond an apron that says “World’s Best Dad.”

I have you covered. Usually I’m not like this, right? So on top of things! You have plenty of time to consider, for Father’s Day is a whole week and a half away! (If you order something from Amazon via our links, we get a little commission, so thank you!)

My tippity top idea — provided Dad loves baseball — is a subscription to Michael Brendan Dougherty’s The Slurve. This is a daily newsletter that comes right to his inbox with “essential news” and “original insights” and fun recaps. Plus, it’s safe for work and for kids looking over his shoulder — love that. The Chief says: “The Slurve, every day, links to the most sensational plays and the best commentary, along with wrap-ups of all the games. For a true baseball fan, everything in one place.”

And, if Dad loves it, which he will, you can give it every single year! (We don’t get anything for telling you about it — we just think it’s a great idea!)

Okay, here are our other thoughts. Yes, your kids should be in charge of Father’s Day, but maybe they are infants and maybe they need a little help, so that’s why we are here, whispering sweet nothings gift ideas in your ear.

In case the kids really can handle it: Go to my Pinterest page for what I call “meaningful crafts for children” — because if they are going to make something, it should be awesome or at least not another paper-plate-and-pipe-cleaner craft.

In the category of cool stuff he will love:

A wind chime. Rosie says: “These are expensive wind chimes. But they’re perfectly tuned and beautifully made – a pleasure to listen to. Because they’re tuned to the pentatonic scale, when the kids grab the flapper and swing it around, it sounds like music instead of noise. They’re sturdy and substantial. We’ve taken ours down during a few tornado watches, but other than that we’ve left it out during all sorts of Oklahoma winds and they’re as good as new. They have different scales and registers (we have the pentatonic alto, but this soprano version is smaller and thus less expensive). I’ve also thought these would make a lovely housewarming gift or even a wedding gift for the hard-to-buy-for.

In case you can’t tell, I love mine!”


Not so unpredictably, perhaps: Good booze. We recommend going to the liquor store and buying a smaller bottle of the booze that is on the shelf above the booze he currently has in his liquor stash. Or another one of the one he loves that is almost out.


Booze accessories. Our current faves, which we have found at HomeGoods (and its ilk): A good ice bucket (good is defined as insulated and nice looking); a cocktail shaker; a vacuum wine stopper. A measuring cup for mixed drinks (you can get this for cheaper, I think, at Target, but that’s problematic).


Also a bottle opener that goes on the wall. If you can manage it, put the recycling bin directly underneath. If you can’t, how about this opener-and-catcher. (Bonus: if you keep the caps, next year the kids can make a (cheap, not tuned, multi-quasi-tonic) wind chime out of them!)


An icon of St. Joseph. You are on your own to find one — let us know if you come across a beautiful one!


Fishing tackle.

Books:

Walker Percy, Lost in the Cosmos — A whimsical book about the death of Western Civilization — not a novel, not a treatise. Sort of a unique existential musing wrapped in a strange kind of personality test. Any other book by Percy will also do.


Thomas Boswell, Time Begins on Opening Day — Well, I guess this is out of print, but this is a great read about baseball. The Chief loves it and everyone in our family enjoyed it thoroughly. I have given you enough time to get it from a seller who ships reasonably fast.


Lawler and Clayton, The Little Oratory — Last year we suggested our book as a Father’s Day gift and the crowds went wild! Why not? Dads enjoy exact directions and keen insight/prose to get their families on the road to prayer. Adorable drawings by Deirdre.


Michael Foley, Drinking With the Saints — This is another one that is not going to go out of style for Dad. Most men I know covet this book.


Eric Severeid, Canoeing with the Cree — The CBS anchor/journalist from a bygone era recounts his boyhood odyssey with a friend, canoeing thousands of miles from Minneapolis to the Hudson Bay. This adventure turned out to be more than a little escapade — it’s a must-read. (This doubles as a great gift for any teenage boy you have languishing about.)


Phil Lawler, The Faithful Departed — The most thoughtful book about the scandal of abuse by priests. Not a cheery book, but one that goes deeper than all the others.


Steven Pressfield, Gates of Fire: An Epic Novel of the Battle of Thermopylae – war-heavy guy book that Capt. P (Rosie’s husband) loves and gives to his friends. Excellent historical fiction.


Michael Shaara, The Killer Angels — Another excellent dramatization of history: I wrote about it here. Get another copy for your teenage boy while you’re at it, and they can discuss it together.

Items that will enable fun with the kids but that he’ll secretly be delighted with:

Stomp Rocket.


T-ball set.


Wiffle ball set. I usually pick these up at the grocery store — they are cheap enough so that the kids can pool their quarters together and buy it themselves. With this and a bocci ball set (below), you are ready for your Independence Day celebrations!


A squirt gun — get a couple of good ones.


A Bocci ball set. What I like about this game is that you can play it just about anywhere.


Zoo or museum memberships.


A stereo microscope. (I wrote about why this is the microscope you should have in your home school here.)

Something that you yourself will enjoy so why not give it to him since he’s happy and gift-receiving isn’t his love language:

A good camp chair or two. (But they are less expensive at Marshall’s etc.)


A hammock.


The kind of cart/wagon that garden centers use.

If his love language is service (you do have the book, right?):

Clean/tidy up his workbench in the garage.


Detail the car/truck (any child loves playing in the car — simply add bags for trash, windex and paper towels, and a vacuum for a clean car).


Polish his shoes.


Finally dust and arrange his dresser top.


Send him to a movie by himself (you know, if he’d like that, and one you are not interested in).

We hope this helps you with what can be a difficult time, what with men being, you know, men, and so hard to find gifts for. We aren’t great fans of Hallmark holidays but we do want Dad to feel honored!*

 

*These are all our good ideas. As in, the only ones we will ever have. So expect to see this post again another day!

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Ask Auntie Leila: Summer in the home school.

Question: What about summer, Auntie Leila?

I love your philosophy on homeschooling. It is always encouraging. Could you post ideas for homeschoolers in the summer?

My little ones and I have just finished our first official year of homeschooling. And now I’m not quite sure how to maintain sanity and structure with my boys (5, 5, and 3) and girl (21 months). Do you have tips for ways to sneak in enjoyable educational activities for the summer months- while giving ourselves enough of a break that we feel refreshed to come back to it?

Thank you!

Naomi

Dear Naomi,

I don’t know where you live (or anyone reading this for that matter), so my thoughts will be based on my own experience of summer with my kids in a “humid continental” climate, with “with warm summers and cold, snowy winters.”

That translates as, “we cling to our too-short summer with all our might, ignoring that it can be a bit miserable.”

Anyone with some different climate, consult your own collective memory and maybe stay in the AC doing schoolwork until such time as you can find relief.

Still, my love of summer is tinged with the recollection of living for six years in the endless actually torrid summers of Washington, DC — those summers that begin in late February and end after Halloween.

I get that it can stretch out interminably, and remember the panicky, almost choking feeling of contemplating being home with little children under those circumstances. Maybe the money or the schedule won’t allow for a long vacation.

Are you there? Are you beyond there?

I used to feel a bit sorry for myself until I realized how enjoyable summers with the kids can be.

Let’s plan an old-fashioned summer with some low-key expectations where the children can look forward every day to simple pleasures: a few chores (because there can be pleasure in knowing you are all in it together), many books, and lots of play. 

Ideally, you will have at least a bit of a vacation. Even a day trip here or there works. Obviously, we all want six weeks by some shore, but even a garden hose or kiddie pool provides an unexpected amount of satisfying water fun — and doing something watery is how I define summer fun!

Which brings me to the question of activities.

Precondition to all I will say: Ban all screens. Hide the remote, close the computers, ditch the tablets. (Even in the car: instead, listen to good music including sing-along songs that you will all then know forever. Or, just sometimes talking things over — it’s nice.)

Try it. The silences of summer, punctuated by crickets and cicadas and birds (try opening your windows when and if things cool off), are its pleasures. Reading a book (or looking at the illustrations if the child can’t read), coloring on the porch, playing cards on the deck under a tree, playing in the sandbox… your children will only do these things if there is no screen to tempt them. Don’t use them to bribe — just ditch them and be free! (It’s fine with Auntie Leila to have movie night, but you get what I mean here.)

Naomi’s children are quite small — many of my suggestions here are for when they get bigger, although many can be implemented even with younger children. If yours are older, have a little meeting and let them know how things will go, especially about the screens if you have gotten bad habits. Let them talk to you, but be quietly firm about your goals and hopes for this time. Every once in a while, our children need the experience of having to give up.

Once they give up, magical things happen to their time!

1. Just playing. Let them play. Their play will be fueled by their own imaginations and the books they read (see below). Give them the necessary “tools” of play, if we can use that term: a sandbox, an outdoor mud kitchen (see this brilliant post by Ginny), board games as age appropriate, balls (including whiffle balls and bats), a basin of water, a bucket of plastic army guys, dolls and carriages.

2. Swimming lessons. Highly worthwhile. It’s worth figuring out how to pack sandwiches and juggle naps to give the gift of knowing how to swim. Plus, it wears them out. Plan on plenty of high-calorie snacks, big sandwiches, big suppers, and early bed.

3. Camps that last for only a few weeks. I don’t mean send-away camps, I mean little neighborhood camps that give the kids a fun skill. Our older kids and their friends have actually stepped up to providing such camps as teenagers, after attending ones given by kids who were older than they: drama camp, fiddle camp, boating camp, Gilbert & Sullivan camp, tennis camp, baseball camp, basketball camp, art camp — you name it, they can go to it and then give it. Your children, Naomi, are still young, so you have a little time to identify where these activities might be offered in your area. If you don’t have a group (how about a St. Greg’s Pocket? your homeschooling group?), join your Nextdoor network and look in the local library for postings.

Camp gives a nice structure to a short part of the summer, which allows your children to have a good balance between having somewhere to be and enjoying endless days of “doing nothing” (only they will do plenty, as you will see!).

4. Chores and work around the house. And service. Most families do try to have some sort of garden. Towels have to be washed and hung out! There is still the matter of keeping the house, and once a week you have to give it at least a full morning. (Pro-tip: if you aren’t in your house, it stays cleaner! Go to the zoo! Go to the museum! Anything to not have to clean!)

With those boys, dear Naomi, you want to be sure that you have lots of good solid hard work for them to do. Read them stories in which little boys do lots of work! Give them big holes to dig way in the backyard (if you have one!). They can literally swab the decks and everyone will be better off.

There’s hardly ever not a project going if you actually own your home. Children can be workers. They can be in charge of picking up nails, of bringing you supplies, of washing up outside afterwards. They can pull the baby in the wagon while you do your work. Soon they are old enough to take over.

Meals are simpler, but still have to be prepared, eaten, and cleaned up after. The start of summer is the perfect time to give out new chores and work out new skills around the house. Neighbors still get sick and have babies and need their lawns mowed. Send the children out to help with these things — they are your little ambassadors and if they do a charitable work, it certainly gets you a check mark! I’m counting on this myself.

I recommend challenging the children to do their big chores very early on in the day while things are still cool. If you are heading out to swim lessons or camp, now is the time to share with them the satisfaction — the downright pleasure — of coming home to an orderly house after a day spent away. Trust me, they will get it.

5. Reading. Plan a day each week to get to the library (if yours has good books — if not, perhaps swapping with friends who have good collections or getting to a used book sale near you, or “shopping the house” for a rotating crate or shelf of books). For a long time we were lucky enough to live within walking distance of the local branch. My kids would take a wagon full of books (and they’d pop Bridget in there too sometimes) to and fro. They could also ride their bikes. In any case, there’s nothing like a pile of tempting books — fiction and non-fiction — from the library to keep everyone enchanted for a while on a hot summer afternoon.

If you guide them wisely, you will find that these books provide all the “educational activities” necessary, when taken with conversations with you and others, long periods of quiet in which they can think things over, and the gift of that “unstructured play” we are always hearing about but never know how to implement.

This is it! Summer! That magical time when, if you have a question, you are blissfully free to read about the answers in a book or ask someone who knows. Summer! When you have the whole day and week and month to try building, making, doing.

A great book: The Boy Scouts Handbook. Be sure to get the original edition, and be prepared for your children to build traps, light fires — safely, one hopes, and make their own fish hooks. At least they will be leaving you alone!

Dover Thrift books in general (who publish that reprint of the Boy Scouts Handbook) supply so many hours of good activity for the children.

There are coloring books of birds, fairy tales and butterflies and you name it, paper dolls, toy theaters, and all sorts of things like magic tricks and stickers.

If the children have done chores in the morning and had swim lessons before lunch, they will be ready for some quiet time with their books, after which you can read a chapter of an especially fun one — reading aloud is also such a treat after the baby is in bed but the sky is still bright.

My favorite read-aloud of all time: Dangerous Journey. Here are other suggestions. Read all the Library Project Posts.

6. Praying. Any change of season is a good time to inaugurate a better prayer time, as I explain in my book. Summer is the perfect time to use the nature table to transition into a Little Oratory (I explain how in an appendix chapter of the book). When you are all together at breakfast, you can say a little morning offering together. Your gratitude at the more relaxed pace can overflow into the habit of praying grace over meals. The long summer evening is the perfect time to start the Rosary — even one decade is lovely. Perhaps with everyone getting up a bit earlier with the sun, you can make it to morning Mass.

7. Back to summer evenings. If you can have your supper relatively early, the family can enjoy the hours of daylight afterwards, especially if Dad can get home to toss a ball in the driveway, take a walk with the family (and maybe some homemade ice cream cones), visit with neighbors on the porch, or have his turn with a chapter book. Those evenings also lend themselves to having friends over for bonfires, s’mores, games of ghost in the graveyard or horseshoes or what have you, and singalongs. Older children like to put on little plays too!

So you see, even in summer, it helps to keep a schedule of sorts where you do divide the day into periods of activity and periods of relative inactivity. A rhythm.

If you remember that rhythm is your friend, you will avoid that sense that the day stretches out with no relief in sight — it’s just that you have to be rather firm in keeping the schedule and the freedom in that good tension that helps you, not going too far from one extreme to the other, but knowing just how to hold the reins. 

Within that good, helpful structure, just let them have a good old-fashioned summer.

Finally, before you tuck them in, wash your children’s faces and feet — do not let your children go to bed with dirty, dusty feet. You want their sheets to escape actual downright grubbiness and you want the children to have the enjoyment of lying in their beds with tingling toes. Try it yourself — it’s delightful.

Above all, do not make the mistake of thinking that unless you purposely include so-called educational activities in there, they won’t learn.

They will be learning very well. Let’s take a break from trying to make everything educational, while having lots of great books to read and music to listen to and materials to make things from. With less stress in that area, you’ll find that you yourself will feel renewed. You could get to a project of your own (maybe during the baby’s nap?). You could read a book! When the children see you doing any of this — and most importantly, enjoying yourself! — they will themselves figure out what they want to do.

Many blessings as you plan a summer where every day is just a great summer day — a real, old-fashioned summer! Enjoy!

Lots of love and a big hug,

Leila

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{bits & pieces} and a bird’s nest

The weekly “little of this, little of that” feature here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

In recent months, I’ve had some issues with my dryer. Without warning, it started to fail to produce dry results. The same sized load on the same settings was coming out… damp. And it sure is frustrating to find that you’ve run your dryer for a good, long, (not thrifty!) cycle only to have damp laundry!

My landlord pulled the dryer out of the wall and found a nest in the vent. Well, there you have it!

It happened again, and he found another nest, this time with eggs! Oh no – poor things! Poor silly animals, why did you do that? This time he put in some mesh so that there could be no re-entry.

But then, I was having a little picnic lunch in the back yard with my kiddos and looked up to the outside opening of the dryer vent coming out of our second floor apartment and spied a little bird popping in and out — with bits of grass in its beaks. Oh dear.

This time I asked my landlord to check it out before I ventured to use the dryer again (fortunately for all involved, the weather had meanwhile taken a definite turn towards summer and, therefore, line drying). This time he went up on a ladder on the outside and, sure enough…

Poor, persistent creatures! I hate to be responsible for their displacement, but I also didn’t want to roast their young by trying to get my clothes dry! So now there’s a mesh barrier on the outer part of the vent as well (I guess the original nest had been farther in). The nest (shown above in the hands of my landlord’s son) was relocated into a nearby tree, but I’m not sure what the odds are that the birds are going to settle back in after it’s been handled. Sigh. It was a treat to get to see it up close, though!

This week’s links:

On love & marriage:

I don’t think I agree with 100% of what’s in this NYTimes opinion piece — Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person — but I do think that it offers a lot of helpful food for thought. Recently I was talking to The Artist about what it takes for two young people in our culture to make the decision for marriage. He spoke of the relief that he felt when he learned that he didn’t have to find the One Woman who would meet all his needs (good thing for me!) – yes, it is a feeling of relief when you learn that you don’t have to find someone who won’t disappoint you in any way. That is too tall of an order to try to fulfill; letting go brings so much peace. Of course what this article is lacking is the observation that there is indeed a Person in whom we find fulfillment… and we don’t have to go on a lot of first dates in order to meet Him.


We hope you are already familiar with all of Jane Austen’s great works. But in case you haven’t yet read it, you need to move Sense & Sensibility to the top of your list. The article linked above has a line that brings this great novel to my mind: “Romanticism has been unhelpful to us; it is a harsh philosophy.” The character Marianne is a romantic. We tend to think that this means she’s sentimental and therefore probably a soft sort of person; gentle and mild and even saccharine or flimsy. In fact, she is harsh! The Artist and I recently read this book aloud together and, reading and discussing it with him, I had the pleasure to re-learn about Eleanor’s virtues. Her self-sacrificing gentleness is a much stronger quality to poise her for a happy marriage than Marianne’s idealism, which leads her to be selfish and hard on others.


Just to pop some Archives material in right here, because it’s so appropriate: You Are Building Something. Part of the series on Casti Cannubii.


Looking for a recommendation for a long movie or a short miniseries? I absolutely loved Dr. Thorne, an Amazon original film written by Julian Fellowes (whom you know from Downton Abbey… but this is much better [I only watched through Season 2 of that before I’d had enough, begging the pardon of you DA enthusiasts out there]). It’s just a straight-up delightful British period drama about love and money duking it out for marriage. My only complaint is that too much time was spent in fireside introduction and recaps with Mr. Fellowes, and I’d rather have spent those precious minutes developing some of the characters further. NB: I haven’t read the Trollope novel on which it’s based, so I can’t judge it as an adaptation, but it definitely makes me want to read the book now! Plus: the proposal scene!!!

 

Miscellaneous:

This Obituary of Jane Fawcett is well worth reading to learn about an extremely interesting woman with many accomplishments (ballet dancing, code-cracking, opera-singing, historic building-saving… no big deal). Read between the lines, as well, to see how women before the feminist revolution were able to pursue their interests – just a little “anti-narrative” perspective.


Also in memoriam: a Tribute to La Leche League Co-Founder Mary White, a woman to whom many of us are indebted for her work to promote breastfeeding when it had gone out of style, and who also happens to be the mother/grandmother of dear friends of ours!


Gorgeous Pictures of the Holy Land from 120 Years Ago — these are unreal!

 

In the Liturgical Year:

Today we observe The Immaculate Heart of Mary. I do love this title for her!

 

From the Archives:

I’m just leaving you one option (other than the one above) because it’s just so good – I really want you to re-read it. Ask Auntie Leila: How Do I Tell People We’re Having Another Baby?

 

~We’d like to be clear that, when we direct you to a site via one of our links, we’re not necessarily endorsing the whole site, but rather just referring you to the individual post in question (unless we state otherwise).~


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{pretty, happy, funny, real} House selling and wildflower wandering

What is this {pretty, happy, funny, real} you speak of?

~ {pretty, happy, funny, real} ~

Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

Every Thursday, here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

Is it just me, or did May go by really fast?

The big news over here is that we sold our house! We’ve been under contract for several weeks now, actually, but you know how it is. Counting chickens before they hatch, and all that. Don’t want to jinx anything! Not that we believe in jinxes, of course.

But our realtor came by last night and hung up one of those fancy “sold” signs, we’ve made it through the inspections stage without too much angst, and are mostly just waiting on our closing date at this point. (The buyers were happy to wait to close until we’re ready to move in July.) It’s nice to think that all that work getting the house ship-shape paid off so quickly — not to mention no more zipping out the door for showings.

Not that that wasn’t a fun game, too.

We call these “giant dandelions,” though we looked them up and have decided that they’re actually called . The flowers aren’t anything special; they just look like sort of scraggly, lanky dandelions. But the puff balls! Oh the puff balls. They are so delightfully big.

Molly’s hair is finally juuust long enough for braids — I think these might’ve been her first ones! I am so excited. We pulled on our boots for a visit to the wildlife refuge, and I convinced everyone to put aside our normal throwing-rocks-into-water agenda in favor of a wildflower meadow.

(I also set aside my extreme aversion to bringing my children through tall grass, but only because we were well-covered and I had my strong, handsome Tick Defender with me to take care of the aftermath. After three years in rural Oklahoma, I can handle spiders remarkably well, I can even almost keep my cool in the presence of a scorpion as long as I don’t have to kill it myself. But don’t ask me to do ticks.)

(Which is not to say that we didn’t find a spot to throw rocks into a creek, too. I’m not a monster! And I don’t know if my children would’ve agreed to come home until we did.)

I will leave you with a series of photos of Nora pointing at things in a commanding way, because she’s a girl who knows what she wants, and it cracks me up.

And, quite possibly my favorite:

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Covering the last settee on the deck.

Now all my scavenged deck furniture is looking good, don’t you think?

This is where we were:

See the settee? It was the last man standing (with a man lying down on it!). That plaid had to go!

Otherwise, not bad: A good amount of this deck furniture covered with nice Sunbrella fabric that resists everything and always looks as good as new.

To recap my deck furniture journey:

The fake-y wicker, which by the way is a fabulous use of plastic and metal, because real wicker requires an enclosed porch or preferably room and constant upkeep (and no cats), was given to me by generous friends. It consists of settee, two chairs, and a coffee table, including cushions with a jungle print of ugliness. Once again, sorry if you are a jungle print fan. But not only is it hideous and ridiculous (we don’t actually have any sort of jungle vibe going on out there), it was always dirty-looking, even when just scrubbed.

The iron furniture was a Craigslist find. Settee, chair, ottoman, and two tables for $150. I truly was in fear that the man would change his mind between the time I told him I’d be there and when I actually got there (after making Will borrow a neighbor’s truck, because we foolishly, shortsightedly did not have a pickup back then, opting instead for a vehicle to move children around).

At first I wasn’t sure about the coverings, but actually they ended up being really practical. Water just drains through and they never look dirty, other than the obvious dinginess of the original style — I wish that the settee had just been the dark brown of the chair and ottoman.

Here is a before of all my deck furniture, if you are interested, including me spray-painting that iron! And it can use a touch-up, which I will get to after we are done with the bathrooms.

Anyway, last year the seams started going on the plaid cushions —  and I could procrastinate no more!

 

I had found the Sunbrella on Fabric.com for the world’s cheapest price of $5.94 a yard when I was recovering the wicker.

Now it seems to be around $21-25 a yard, which is fine until you need 10 yards.

I just looked at the sale prices and tried to find something that I could live with. I didn’t want anything light or loud, figuring I could jazz things up with the pillows — and the little waves pattern went really well — miraculously well — with the existing coverings of the iron furniture (honestly, it just reads as solid brown) — important, because I also didn’t want to do more than the wicker. I just… couldn’t.

I know that sounds a little silly, but we are always on a budget, of course, and also I just couldn’t face crawling around, wrestling with the big pieces, and the anxiety that always haunts big projects like this — will the fabric be enough, is it actually a good purchase given the use, will I like it, will I do a good enough job to justify the effort and expense, blah blah blah.

So I compromised.

This compromise means that when I was ready to do the job, I couldn’t find the fabric. So we limped along last year. This year I found it (I would occasionally just do a Google search) for the not unreasonable if un-astounding price of $15 a yard, on ebay (with some pricey shipping, boo), so four yards later I was in business.

 

I will say that the old fabric really has stood up. There is virtually no difference between the old and the new, which ought to impress you, as we are always leaving the cushions out under the maple tree, in the rain, under the dog and cat, etc.

I like how the dark brown goes with the dark brown of my also fake wicker outdoor dining chairs. (Can you spot the cat under there?)

 

The dark brown of the chair and ottoman are in perfect condition, so I’m just keeping them as they are. (You have got to hand it to the manufacturer — they are probably 50 years old, I’m guessing.)

 

I have to say, I love it all! We are always so comfy out there — we can sit and chat or read for hours. Total cost for the living area — furniture, spray paint, fabric, and pillows: about $285. If I had known that the Sunbrella would be so worth the time, effort, and money and had bought enough to start with, the cost would have been $212. Ah well.

Tell me what you think!

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{bits & pieces}

The weekly “little of this, little of that” feature at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

 

Still painting bathrooms (oh, old houses are so charming with their quirky walls and odd angles!). Trying to keep newly planted plants alive in the gasping heat (what happened here, May?). And thinking about The Spirit of the Liturgy (won’t you read along? I have some encouraging words for you at the start of the post, and you will likely have lots of time to catch up!).

On to our links:

The other day would have been Frankie Manning’s 102nd birthday, I was informed by Google, and so I had to watch a video of this joyful Lindy Hop dancer’s dancing —

 

Very different, but still swing: the Carolina Shag

Look up some instructional videos and have your kids learn to dance swing. Trust me, this is the way to go!

 

Do you have a child who has entered the “why” stage? Sukie passes along this Elizabeth Mitchell song to help you when you have simply run out of answers.

 

The finding of Aristotle’s tomb.


If you’ve been reading Planet Narnia or the Narnia Code (both highly recommended!), you and the children might be interested in this video that pairs the music of Gustav Holst’s The Planets with images of the planets. C. S. Lewis loved this music and wrote in his letters about going to hear it performed. I confess that I do not share Lewis’ taste in music at all, but maybe you will! Perhaps viewing some medieval images and reading about the planets the way Lewis saw them would be interesting as well.


An interview with David Hicks, who wrote the excellent book Norms and Nobility (probably best to try to find it at the library), on how to assess a college for your child.


Another interview about education, with Karen Glass. I haven’t read her book, but I enjoyed this interview, in which she discusses Charlotte Mason’s methods, very much. (I would perhaps take exception to one point, in which she unfairly interprets Dorothy Sayers’ characterization of the “poll parrot” and “pert” stages of development in children. Sayers didn’t at all subscribe to a “child as data-machine” view. People forget that “The Lost Tools of Learning” was an essay, not a fully developed book. In a somewhat breezy manner Sayers seeks to encapsulate a whole rich history of education. She was merely remarking that working with a developmental stage in a child makes more sense than working against it; encouraging memory work when a child is receptive to it and, importantly, most takes delight in it, makes more sense than prematurely requiring what belongs to a later stage, namely, synthesis of subject matter. In any case, the rest of the interview gave satisfaction.)


Rosie says, “Nothing like living in tornado country to turn you into a weather nerd. Explanation of a heat burst (a mini-heat burst was recorded near us the other night).” (Seems like it’s a sudden and dramatic hot burst of wind? — Ed.)


Is it compassionate to hasten the end of a person’s life? Even if that person is seriously ill and suffering? Rosie’s friend Adrienne’s father is a Catholic doctor in Oregon. He is a strong and compassionate witness to the evils of assisted suicide. His beautiful wife recently died of cancer, so he’s walked the walk. Read his testimony (it begins on page 6 of the issue — scroll down).


Of course, this hoax begs the question of what is art then, but never mind that.

Enjoy the feast of St. Bernard of Montjoux!

From the archives:

People do enjoy this birthday cake.

Also, very seasonal right now: Strawberry-rhubarb pie, my favorite.

And if you have a bumper crop of rhubarb, make a nice beverage for the adults: Rhubarb shrub!

~We’d like to be clear that, when we direct you to a site via one of our links, we’re not necessarily endorsing the whole site, but rather just referring you to the individual post in question (unless we state otherwise).~


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Habou’s Blog: Corner Art Studio.
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Old Testament, New: How the Bible determines worship ~ The Spirit of the Liturgy: A Book Club

{Book Club: The Spirit of the Liturgy}

I hope you will read along in this book club (or just read my posts, that’s okay): Joseph Ratzinger’s The Spirit of the Liturgy.
(When you buy something via our Amazon affiliate link, a little cash rolls our way… just a little. Thanks!)
I’ll post on Fridays, although for this longer book, perhaps not every Friday. I’ll give you your homework, I’ll talk about what we read, we’ll discuss in the comments. Even if you read later, the comments will still be open.

Previously:

Joseph Ratzinger’s The Spirit of the Liturgy: A Book Club for Easter and Beyond

Apostasy or worship?

Nature or history in worship? Or both?

Homework: Read Chapter One of Part II.

A thought: Seriously, isn’t this fun? Thinking that maybe this book is too much for you? I promise you — PROMISE — that your efforts will be rewarded with fireworks exploding in your mind and great vistas of immense understanding opening up to you. You can do it! And then come here and tell us about your experience. I’m on my fourth or so reading and it’s all coming clear!

So, I encourage you to read the end of the chapters first if it seems like too much — in this case, tidily summed up in points starting on p. 48. You can also read their summary at the end of this post first — you have my permission! Dear Pope Benedict has this mental habit, which is that he muses over a thing for a while before presenting his conclusions, letting you into his thought process. Since his thoughts are fairly lofty, this can be a challenge — one met by consulting his conclusions first, if necessary. I keep on getting to the end of a chapter and thinking, “Right, here it is, should have started here.”

 

Chapter Three, Part I: From Old Testament to New: The Fundamental Form of the Christian Liturgy — Its Determination by Biblical Faith

Even the chapter title helps us, if we are paying attention. For so long — so long! — we have been, unbeknownst to ourselves, even, slipping into the attitude that we can determine the form of liturgy.

Maybe it has to do with all the options offered. Having options in some peripheral matters leads the unwary to conclude that all is optional — consult your local toddler for evidence of this syndrome!

Maybe it has to do with modern life relegating worship to “the weekend” — a more meaningful and upright pursuit than reading the Sunday Times over brunch, but not necessarily the most meaningful thing we ever do, in the sense of being anchored somehow in meaning itself. Is anything that?

Maybe it has to do with the professional liturgists among us; every profession has its promoters: people who make it their business to keep themselves in business with their new! improved! vibrant! sexy! ideas. I’m all for innovation in laundry detergent…

We are still on that mission to find “the spirit of the liturgy” and to escape preference. In other words, all this writing and scholarship is not meant to be an exercise is shoring up — or defeating, for that matter — my, or Ratzinger’s, or Guardini’s, or your preference, but to find objective principles to worship aright.

Let’s see how the argument (argument in the sense of process of reasoning — Ratzinger is rarely contentious) proceeds.

We’ve seen that man everywhere wants to be at peace with the universe and with the Being who he suspects, even if he isn’t convinced, is behind everything. We all long for unity.

Yet we are aware of our “fall and estrangement.” Longing for unity becomes “a struggle for atonement, forgiveness, reconciliation. The awareness of guilt weighs down on mankind.”

Worship is the attempt, to be found at every stage of history, to overcome guilt and bring back the world and one’s own life into right order. And yet an immense feeling of futility pervades everything. This is the tragic face of human history. How can man again connect the world with God? (p. 35)

In the Old Testament, this desire to atone involves exterior sacrifice. It’s complicated with Cain and Abel, right at the beginning. (Enoch, in contrast, simply “walked with God and was not, for God took him.”) In history generally (though not confined only to the past, let’s not kid ourselves), this desperate need gets resolved, terribly, as human sacrifice, with the awful logic that one must offer what is best — and what is better than oneself (or, more often, another human being)? Is this the “gift of self” that seems to be at the heart of what it means to be human?

Ratzinger says that in resisting this worst of all outcomes, religion turns to “representation” — but again, can the sacrifice of an animal ever represent the offering from within? It’s simply not commensurate with the greatness that is the One God. It becomes “replacement,” tends to idolatry, and without a doubt, this type of sacrifice is not sufficient.

“Something is missing,” he says.

Even with the “extensive sacrificial system, the meticulous regulations for which are set out in the Torah,” the heart’s longing devolves into external worship. Ratzinger refers to Leviticus’ “static… cyclical world order” — is it enough? Does it bring all the tensions into balance?

It’s beyond the scope of this post to deal with Chapter 26 of Leviticus (referenced by Ratzinger), but do take a moment to read it and ponder it in light of Ratzinger’s comments. There is something beyond the sacrifices that the Bible is pointing to, clearly.

There exists in the texts what he calls “prophetic disquiet.”

With Abraham and God’s provision of the Lamb; and Moses and claim of God to “the first-born,” we begin to get a glimmer.

Ratzinger turns to the Discourse of Stephen. Again, take some time to read it over again (Acts 7). There’s no accident that Stephen is martyred in the pattern of the Master for his words: there is great meaning in them for us.

Stephen recounts the whole of salvation history to the Patriarchs in order to bring to light what is meant by the Temple. Ratzinger offers three thoughts on this:

1. “The earthly Temple is only a replica, not the true Temple.”

2. There is tension between impermanence, as in the tent that held the Tabernacle, and permanence, as in the house of stones built by Solomon: Stephen says, “the Most High does not dwell in houses made with hands.”

3. In the Old Testament itself are prophecies concerning the impermanence of the Temple, customs, and sacrifices: “This is the prophetic line that reached its destination in the Righteous One on the Cross.”

In fact, “Stephen does not contest the words he is accused of having spoken… but tries to prove [their] deeper fidelity to the message of the Old Testament.” (p. 42) You could say that’s the theme of this chapter.

Then there is the development in the Exile. “There was no Temple any more, no public and communal form of divine worship as decreed in the law. Deprived as she was of worship, Israel was bound to feel immeasurably poor and pathetic.” We see a new idea of “spiritual worship” arising, to the point that it centers on the inner “word” that becomes the true sacrifice.

In Alexandria, the Jews eventually made contact with the Greek critique of cult, and from then on the concept of logike latreia (thusia) [worship and sacrifice with spirit and mind]… grew increasingly important. (p. 45)

Do you see? Let’s set up the first part of the sequence of the development of worship in history like this:

Peace/unity → guilt/sacrifice  → word/inner worship

To our modern ear, this sounds like all you need. Get rid of those messy animals (can you imagine how stinky) and tap into your inner spiritual life. For some, it’s good to be spiritual, not religious, and this is what they mean, “a mystical union with… the very meaning of things.”

Religion maybe can be completely interior.

But, what happens in the Old Testament with all this? The expectation of the restored Temple does not go away! Go, go read Psalm 51. It begins by deploring externalities and ends by extolling them!

For its part, the Hellenistic Logos-mysticism, however grand and beautiful, allows the body to fall into insubstantiality… Something is missing. (p. 47)

He continues:

The idea of the sacrifice of the Logos becomes a full reality only in the Logos incarnatus, the Word who is made flesh and draws “all flesh” into the glorification of God… Logos is more than just the “Meaning” behind and above things… He… had become bodily… In Jesus’ self-surrender [sacrifice] on the Cross, the Word is united with the entire reality of human life and suffering. There is no longer a replacement cult… the Eucharist is the meeting point of all the lines of that lead from the Old Covenant, indeed from the whole of man’s religious history. Here at last is right worship, ever longed for and yet surpassing our powers: adoration “in spirit and truth.”

The torn curtain at Jesus’ crucifixion, which represents the Temple as it was previously known, allows the world to see the face of God.

Jesus is the Temple. Jesus is the sacrifice. Jesus is the Lamb.

So now our schema for the history of religion, culminating in Jesus Christ, could look like this:

Peace/Unity → guilt/sacrifice/Lamb (Old Testament) → word/spiritual worship (Old Testament) ⇒

LOGOS/JESUS CHRIST/Word Made Flesh 

⇐ logike latreia (inner meaning)(Greek philosophy)  ← guilt/sacrifice (pagan) ← Peace/unity

(I probably need a real graphic for that, but this will have to do for now.)

Four helpful summarizing points to end the chapter (starting at p. 48):

1. “Christian worship, or rather the liturgy of the Christian faith, cannot be viewed simply as a Christianized form of the synagogue service, however much its development owes to the synagogue service.” That service regarded itself as incomplete, precisely because of the absence of the Temple. The risen Christ is the Temple. Merely having a service of the Word in his memory negates what He came to do!

Ratzinger gets a little feisty on this point, regarding the idea that for some, the Temple

is regarded as an expression of the law and therefore as an utterly obsolete “stage” in religion. The effects of this theory have been disastrous. Priesthood and sacrifice are no longer intelligible. The comprehensive “fulfillment” of pre-Christian salvation history and the inner unity of the two Testaments disappear from view. Deeper understanding of the matter is bound to recognize that the Temple, as well as the synagogue, entered into Christian liturgy.

2. “This means that universality is an essential feature of Christian worship. It is the worship of an open heaven.” (Good to have read our Guardini.) “Christian liturgy is never just an event organized by a particular group or set of people or even by a particular local Church.”

3. Worship is not merely assembly, gathering, or meal.

We must regard St. Paul’s concept of logike latreia, of divine worship in accordance with logos, as the most appropriate way of expressing the essential form of Christian liturgy… The logos of creation, the logos in man, and the true and eternal Logos made flesh, the Son, come together. All other definitions fall short.

4. Christianity is “a quest, the religious quest of human history, reaching its goal… The new Temple, not made by human hands, does exist, but it is also still under construction.”

Keep this point in mind as we keep reading. It’s important.

Do share with us what you think of this chapter! I look forward to your comments!

(Emphases added in quotes are mine.)

Click here to see our previous discussion of Romano Guardini’s The Spirit of the Liturgy, which you can read free, online. You can also purchase it here, although be warned, this edition does not have the footnotes, which stinks.

The post Old Testament, New: How the Bible determines worship ~ The Spirit of the Liturgy: A Book Club appeared first on Like Mother Like Daughter.

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

What is this {pretty, happy, funny, real} you speak of?

~ {pretty, happy, funny, real} ~

Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

Every Thursday, here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

{happy}

 

 

What really makes me happy is that the garden is getting somewhat weeded. It’s like when you vacuum and dust inside… so peaceful when it’s done. You can think.

And also that I have a big enough clothesline for two, three, or even four loads of laundry. Those are full-size bath towels, the kind that are extra-long. This thing is a beast. It’s true that it’s a little wonky, due to the underground streams that pour off the hill. Not even being set in concrete helps those posts stay truly upright, but I feel there is a metaphor in there for my life… This is where it has to be, and it’s okay.

 

 

{funny}

I recently realized that I am obsessed — OBSESSED — with having the right-sized bowls for various applications. Thus, I have a plethora of bowls, some not pictured here. It’s like what would happen if you served the thing in a less than optimum bowl — please, don’t even think about it.

Also, remember, I told you about planting fava beans as ground cover in this bed (just here because that’s how many I had). This is them, turned and dug under.

You know darned well that if I had been over-zealous in weeding or just not been careful but had intended these plants to grow, they would have expired on the spot. But since I meant to destroy, kill, dig them under, however you want to say it, well, they keep growing. This is very similar to the grass that grows in the asparagus beds but not in the lawn…

{real}

Proof that you can get pretty old and still be stupid. A tiny splash of bleach on my pretty linen shirt. Could I have been less hasty and put on an apron before washing those towels (see above, clothesline). COULD I???

{bad phone pics for pretty and happy}

My birthday ice-cream cake, made by Habou, was so pretty, but this dumb phone picture was all I got. I mean, I got a piece of cake — and singing — too, but this is all there is to show for it! Sorry… but it was pretty!

A nice little harvest of asparagus for a supper, on my pretty new plate that Bridget got me from Poland! Isn’t it gorgeous?

And this whole post could have been about cute grandsons who came to visit last week, if I hadn’t been so lax in the photo department!

I guess sometimes you just forget to take pictures! That’s silly.

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Ask Auntie Leila: The new baby and the toddler.

 

Dearest Auntie Leila:

We’re expecting our second baby in about 6 weeks. I’m over-the-moon excited, getting almost antsy to hold him or her, and still kind of in awed disbelief that I get to be someone else’s mother, too. (I still marvel that I am Mama to our 20-month-old, and it seems nearly too good to be true that we should get another beautiful little human being to love this much!)

So, yes, I’m thrilled! And not really all that nervous or stressed out (yet?!). (I’ve learned a great deal about trusting in Him since becoming a mother!). But, while I think I’ve tried to, for lack of a better word, mentally “prepare” myself for what the transition from one to two might be like, I’m betting I don’t know the half of it!

Can you ladies enlighten me? I mean, I know I can’t really know until I live it, and there is no way to get good at mothering more than one babe until I actually just start doing it … but surely you have some thoughts I could tuck in my pocket for the road ahead? Little bits about how to gird my expectations or steel my nerves or practically get anything done (chores, grocery shopping)? I’m definitely not a total Type A, wigging out and needing a set of black-and-white instructions here; I’m more just wondering about the top things, looking back, it would have been helpful for you to know/realize/do when you went from the relatively easy routine of one toddler to a toddler and a baby.

People have no problem telling you you’d better make freezer meals ahead of time, but I’m guessing you have more eternal and nebulous secrets, like helping a young girl to *think* about things so she may keep a happy heart, even through all the possibly rough adjustments and sleep deprivation to come.

[If it helps to know: I stay home full-time, and I have about 3 weeks of help lined out for when the baby comes, so that I may nurse and snuggle and not get up doing too much too soon. We also have friends and neighbors who will bring a meals for 2-3 weeks. Oh, and I have a huge old-fashioned playpen, and I’m not afraid to use it; Big Sister is quite accustomed to spending time there when Mama needs to mop or what have you.]

Thank you so much for your consideration. Your blog is my absolute favorite, and your wisdom and example have been a huge part of changing me — and thus, our family and our home and our faith-lives — for the better over the past 2-3 years.

Sincerely,

Mandy

Dear Mandy,

Congratulations!

You have the most important piece, the help, lined up. Take advantage of it! I know you will.

With a little toddler, I think it’s just as important for you to stay in your nightgown and rest lying down as much as possible as it was when you had your first, but after a day or so, try doing so for few hours at least on the sofa, so that you aren’t in the position of being in your room and a sort of ready target for this little one who wonders why things are so different. It’s hard to feel calm when the door bursts open and she is racing in and jumping up on you and what suddenly seems like (and to be fair, is) a very fragile infant in comparison…

If you can manage to rest where things are going on, even for a little while, she can do her normal motoring around but have you there to check in with.

Then you can retire to your bedroom for a long nap while someone takes her on a walk or otherwise occupies her. Even an hour a day spent on the sofa in that first week will be helpful to get her used to the new normal.

Still, let her clamber on the bed with you and don’t worry… even an “accidental” kick or shove to the baby won’t be too fatal! (Hopefully someone took her shoes off first!) She isn’t being naughty, and soon she will learn to be gentle. It’s better to say “let’s be gentle” and show and demonstrate gentle strokes and pats than to get angry and say “don’t be rough” — a child that age really doesn’t get it. Demonstrate what you want to see from her. Give her a dolly to practice on!

I will tell you one thing: when the baby is born, your little girl will seem positively ENORMOUS to you — sort of horrifyingly so! Your husband too. You will wonder how you ever coped with these monsters before! So be ready for that and just laugh. Soon enough you will regain your equilibrium!

When you are first alone with the two babies, you will feel overwhelmed! And there will be those panicky moments. That’s okay. Everyone will survive!

My dear husband used to remind me only to try to do one thing each day. It was helpful, coming from him, and given that he was willing to come home and do the three or ten things I couldn’t get to.

Chores will have to wait. It’s true that once I brought a meal to a new mother whose laundry was neatly folded in a basket (granted, the basket was on the kitchen table) and whose house was astoundingly neat and tidy. I repressed the urge to ask her to bring me a meal, because I can assure you that things were not that orderly at my house! Some people are naturally more tidy than others! But for most of us, the chores will have to be done one at a time for a while, if that. Remember that if you have managed meals and laundry (and by managed I mean even gotten someone else to do them), you are doing what you can!

Grocery shopping will be the hardest of the outings to get used to, I think. Try to put it off as long as you can, and I realize that might not be long enough… I definitely went first with the newborn, leaving the toddler at home — the early evening can work. Once you figure out how once again how to wear the baby or maneuver with the car seat, then you can add the other piece of the equation, the wiggly toddler. Teach her to touch the side of the car or the cart while she is waiting for you once you are convinced she won’t just run away. Get the baby settled and then get her out, talking her through the process so that it gets imprinted on her mind.

What seems impossible now will be very possible in a shorter amount of time than you dreamed. Just take your time. Find the parking space near the shopping cart that someone left out in the parking lot. Put baby in the carrier, then get the toddler in the cart… or put the carseat in the cart and then get the toddler out. Take your time and don’t even give a thought to anyone watching you :) (Am I the only one who continually visualizes hordes and droves of judging on-lookers?)

Once in the store, I used to go first to grab a bag of pretzel rods, deploying one straight away. I find a pretzel rod will last a toddler for most of a grocery trip, won’t spoil an appetite, and doesn’t disintegrate into a paste the way a treacherous graham cracker does.

Keep the outings to one, and plan your escape route. Do little practice runs that you can ditch. Soon you will get the hang of it! There’s nothing like doing, you know? You really do have to try it without too much of a mental picture — it’s like actually just knitting something or kneading dough… there’s only so much you can visualize beforehand.

One other thing: Remember that your toddler can be best motivated to behave by being a helper and a worker. Give her something to carry for you. Ask her to throw away a diaper. Have her fetch the wipes. Everyone likes to be thought of as contributing and capable, and she will be just that!

All will be well. Even the tiredness and the tears… every one of us has gone through that, so don’t let it get you too upset. All the best to you! Thank you so much for reading!

God bless and a big hug,

Leila

Deirdre added the following:

I’ll just reiterate that yes, the toddler will look hilariously ginormous and yes, do take your sweet time with getting back to grocery shopping. I like to park as close as possible to the cart drop-off spot so that I can unload my kids into the car and then just shove the cart right in without having to worry about returning it somewhere approved or feeling guilty about leaving it somewhere unapproved. Once both kids are in the cart/in your carrier/stowed safely in some form, it’s all good. (I do definitely prefer wearing the baby and keeping toddler in the cart rather than wrangling the car seat into the cart… there’s just so little room for groceries if the carseat is in there!) It’s the loading and unloading that’s difficult.

When I had my first, there were a couple times when I just gave up in the midst of an errand or outing. Things got overwhelming and I just kind of folded (or went through many phases of almost folding before recovering).

With the second, I ran into those similar, overwhelming moments, but I was able to regroup more peacefully, knowing that it was totally fine for me to sit down, say, on the neighbor’s rock wall in order to regroup, or nurse in the car, or what have you. I imagine you’ll have similar experiences: it’ll seem like the world is about to end because suddenly both kids are crying and one is having a big poopy diaper and you can’t find your keys… But then you’ll just realize that you can take it one thing at a time and that in five minutes it will actually be a very different outlook!

Anyway, I hope everything goes very smoothly and you have a great birth and easy postpartum time!

Sukie adds: “I had to go grocery shopping with my two [they are 16 months apart!] when the baby was two weeks old. [Her husband was doing a rotation at a hospital an hour and a half away from home.] You do what you have to do!”

And: Look into grocery delivery in your area, if only for that first month that you are on your own.

Other helpful posts:

Postpartum is more than one day.

Nursing the newborn.

The post Ask Auntie Leila: The new baby and the toddler. appeared first on Like Mother Like Daughter.