Laura Collins Lyster-Mensh's Blog, page 7

Bringing the word "penis" out of the shadows, but in the pants

Laura poses penis questions to Dr. Dudley Danoff, author of Ultimate Guide to Male Sexual Health. We also have a visit from Alberta Knish talking about ancient Chinese erotica

Dating after Divorce over 50

episode 13 features lube recipes and safer sex

Hot flashes and angry bees: Episode 12 online NOW

Where can you learn about hot flashes, angry bees, and the world's strongest hoo-ha? Our Better Half podcast's episode 12, natch!

What is ASMR and what does whispering have to do with sex?

Improve your memory in bed?

Tap dance, GLBTQI elders, and Pretty Sex

Laura asks 60+ adult film actor, Bea Cummins, about her shoes, and the term "Granny Porn"

Among the things I hadn't ever imagined I would do, but welcomed the chance at, was to talk to someone who has worked in the "adult" film industry, also called "porn." Bea Cummins, a 60+ grandmother who has appeared in over a dozen films and runs her own sexy website with her husband, was kind enough to grant an interview, and I enjoyed learning about the industry and her observations on aging.

Episode 8 also includes an interview with Liz Seidel from ACRIA about a March conference in New York City on HIV and aging, and we hear from our new Sexy Science Correspondent, Dr. Rosalind Baculum.
Listen in now:

Episode 7, in which Laura does her first interview and meets someone in the romance business

I used to think of "marital aids" as kind of sad, and sex "toys" as a bit shocking.

Well, the world has changed and this old prude approves. Learn why in Episode 7 of Our Better Half, where I interview my first sex toy seller and give some thought to the words "play" and "toy" and reexamine my prejudices.

Meet Mia Grabner, a retired romance industry professional, talking about the business of empowering and educating women about sex.

I may as well have just responded with my usual 'I'm fine thank you'

Let us consider just how cruel and misguided it is to base mental health treatment priorities on dire medical state.

"I have just thought about losing weight so that the service is accessible, but I know that it would then be much harder because my head would be more screwed, it'd take longer for any treatment and therefore cost more except they'd probably think a week is enough to make it all okay, but the thing I know most of all is that I'd likely die before I reached the point they'd fund a place at a unit. I just, I know it sounds totally stupid, but I just wish someone could wrap me up and take care of me, tell me what to do, when to do it and make me do it. 

... I've told them how things are, but I may as well have just responded with my usual 'I'm fine thank you', because whatever I say feels like it's written off.”

What those who fund treatment and decide on insurance and treat eating disorders need to know is that this person, like many of my other friends with eating disorders, talk a lot about feeling the only way out is death or getting more ill. THEY WANT HELP. They cannot say this every day to every one, they cannot beg and fundraise and advocate for themselves. THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE TO.

We know how to fix this. We could treat any degree of eating disorder thinking and behavior as just as deadly and urgent and TREATABLE as a small tumor. We do not wait for a tumor to grow nor do we only take out part of it and hope the person wills the rest away.

We need to fund and supply mental health care at ALL levels, at will, with clinical care that understands that people with eating disorders are not able to and should not have to guide and provide their own care. Basing MENTAL HEALTH care on weight status and not mental status is cruel and ineffective and goes against everything we know about eating disorders.

In other words, the system is "crazy." The system is "disordered." And it is NOT the patient's responsibility or fault or job: it is ours. And we are failing.

"I just wish someone could wrap me up and take care of me, tell me what to do, when to do it and make me do it"

Thank you to my friend who gave me the gift of letting me share their words. I know how many others feel the same way and I'm ashamed we have not fixed the system yet. Treatment shouldn't be based on weight status.