Sarah .'s Blog: now's a terrible time to forget again., page 113
June 13, 2014
early to bed meant early to rise, means up with the sun to work...
early to bed meant early to rise, means up with the sun to work on #ransom.
i can’t wait to share this story!!
♥♥
June 9, 2014
"This is all about the pursuit of joy and not the pursuit of ego."
- Matt Healy in The Radio.com interview (via tandomfandom)
good morning, good morning again!
from @lovelybrutal and myself.
so, chalk it up to a learning experience for us.
i just spoke with a rep from booktango. as it turns out, they’re not available to approve or release books on the weekends (i suppose i could have assumed this, but i try not to assume, and it’s not anywhere on the site - anyway) so, they received it this morning and are currently working on it.
i was told it could take anywhere from 24-48 hours to appear on their store http://bookstore.bookcountry.com/ - where it will be available in mobi, epub, and pdf. then it could take a bit longer to appear on amazon, kobo, b&n, and apple iBooks.
so, i’m so sorry we said Sunday and now here it is Monday and we’re not even sure if it will be here today or Tuesday!
thank you guys so so much for all of your support and love. we can’t wait to come here and post all the links!!
♥♥
June 8, 2014
i can try to get by, but every time I start to panic...
i’m a little bit shy, a bit strange and a little bit manic…
lying here on the living room floor, thinking about how my contacts are going to be a mother to take out.
it’s weird that crying dries your eyes out so badly.
when i say your, i of course mean my.
it’s 2014 and i’m still trying to break the habit of saying you/your when what i mean is i. me. mine.
i’m thinking about october, and breathing, and how i can’t wait for everything to slow down.
i’m scared.
a lot lately, i’m scared.
i’m scared that pressure is what it means to be grown up.
i’m scared the backs of my eyes are going to split open snd i’m going to go blind.
i’m scared i’m going to get to houston and i’ll still be that weird girl.
i’m scared to go without ziggy.
i’m scared that i’m going to fall wrong sooner or later and die and fail all this love in my heart.
boohoo, look at me, i’m scared.
but really like
everyone tells you to go after your dreams
to follow your heart
but what they don’t tell you is that it’s fucking terrifying.
it’s hard and it’s mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting.
because like
when you close your eyes and are alone with yourself, when it’s just you and what’s in your heart, you feel how small you are
but you also feel how singular
how important
because there isn’t anyone else in the whole world who knows the truth that’s there in your heart like you do, and there isn’t anyone else who can really, truly fulfill it.
(looksee, i’m still using you but i’m talking about me. still. i made a resolution to stop this in 2007. old habits.)
i digress.
pressure.
there’s so much pressure in that.
in being singular, in recognizing your absolute singularity
in being the only one who can fulfill that truth you’re alone with when you close your eyes.
because what if i fall and die tomorrow? what if i break my wrists trying to catch myself and i can’t write anymore? what if some guy on the bus i’m on decides to kill everyone?
what if i go to sleep tonight and i never wake up?
it makes you not want to ever sleep.
or get on the bus to go to work.
or leave your desk, because if you don’t stand up, you probably won’t fall.
but you need coffee.
and you have to go to work because you have to pay rent so that you have a place to write.
and you have to sleep in order to function.
so you do it.
and every step is literally facing fear.
and people don’t know that.
and you don’t tell people that because it makes you sound crazy.
just like you don’t tell people that you walk instead of drive because love walks with you, and you’re listening too closely, too intimately to operate a machine while it’s happening.
and you lay on your living room floor and write sorely sober blog posts about being scared and crazy and hope so fucking hard that your girlfriend will find you soon because you’re too small and pathetic feeling to reach out.
so you hide
in plain sight
and hope
and fear
and hope
you
(i)
really want to be found.
littlegreyache:
hi hi, good afternoon from @lovelybrutal and...
hi hi, good afternoon from @lovelybrutal and myself!
Light and Wine is officially out of our hands and in booktango’s. we’re just waiting to hear from them and as soon as we do, we’ll post links up all over the place.
eeeeeeeeeeh!!
thank you guys so much for all the excitement and support. we’re so excited too! we can’t wait to share Marc and Lacie with you!
♡♡
June 7, 2014
this just happened:
Soon, readers around the world can buy your book and experience your content, your story. Be proud of this accomplishment — it’s no easy task to write and publish a book, but you just did it. Way to go, writer!”
i am streaming tears over a smile i can’t close.
my heart.
my heart.
my heart.
i had no idea i would freak out so hard. i’m by myself in the library. well, not really by myself. there’s an old man that can’t stop coughing, on the computer in front of mine, and there’s a mother next to me, with a baby in her lap. there are kids running around and librarians returning books to shelves, and the love in my heart is so full.
i’m not actually alone.
because besides doing this for and with Marc and Lacie, who i love so deeply i feel it in my freezing fingers and all through my chest -
truelove is in my heart too.
i could not ask for a better partner in life, in love, and in work that is love to me, than the one i’ve had in this project and so many others.
je suis nee pour elle aimer.
i love you with all my heart, babyblue.
thank you so much for this moment.
i can’t wait for so many more.
June 5, 2014
June 3, 2014
now's a terrible time to forget again.
what you should have written was: sarah - POETRY
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