Reino Gevers's Blog, page 6

Leadership matters: The Strong vs the Wise

Whether it’s the captain of a ship, a school principal, a company manager, or the president of a nation, leadership makes a difference. The character and values a leader demonstrates through words and actions can have a profound impact.

For more than a decade, I’ve had the opportunity to work with hundreds of companies, gaining much insight into the challenges and success stories when it comes to people management, motivation, creativity and well-being.

Ultimately, leadership plays a huge role. It determines how a family, a company, an institution, or even a country adapts and navigates tumultuous times.

Brute strength and fear never work

It’s not brute strength that counts, but wisdom. A “strong” leader, is often authoritarian and surrounded by sycophants, refuses to take good advice and relies on fear-based tactics.

This approach is often seen in leaders driven by ego or even malignant narcissism. It can lead to immense, lasting harm. Such leaders tend to belittle others to mask their own insecurities and deficiencies.

The wise leader, by contrast, has a bigger vision, grounded in social intelligence and deep listening. They pick up early signals before issues escalate into crises, navigating with a calm, compassionate demeanor. Wise leadership is marked by patience, thoughtfulness, and humility, creating an atmosphere where people feel valued and respected.

Mandela exemplified compassionate leadership

Nelson Mandela exemplified this. After being unjustly imprisoned for 27 years, he had every reason to harbor bitterness. Yet, when I met Mandela shortly after his release from prison in 1990, he showed a profound sense of forgiveness. He realized that hate and retribution would only hinder a peaceful, democratic future for South Africa. He recognized that his true strength lay in bringing together opposite sides in building one nation.

Body language tells the truth

To grasp the distinction between effective and ineffective leadership, we should pay attention not just to words but to body language. Wise leaders convey a natural authority through measured movements, creating an environment of stability and composure even in high-stress scenarios. Their expressions are often accompanied by a gentle smile that signals warmth and approachability. They nod or offer affirmations while others speak, embodying active listening and respect.

In contrast, ego-driven leaders tend to use body language to assert control. They may invade personal space, exhibit forceful gestures like pointing or chopping the air, and maintain scowling or emotionless expressions, creating an atmosphere of intimidation and tension rather than collaboration and respect.

This distinction is crucial because effective leadership directly shapes workplace culture, employee engagement, and job satisfaction—all key factors influencing absenteeism and work-related stress.

Bad leadership destroys health and well-being

Research supports this, such as the Health and Well-being at Work report from the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) in the UK. This 2019 study found that 37 percent of employees cited “management style” as a major source of workplace stress, a significant factor in absenteeism.

Organizations with supportive managers reported lower absenteeism rates, as employees felt valued and connected to their work.Furthermore, the report highlighted how companies with inclusive, communicative, and supportive cultures see fewer absences. When leadership invests in employee well-being, absenteeism rates can drop by nearly 25 percent, significantly reducing burnout and fostering resilience, health and satisfaction.

What does this mean for national leadership? Leaders at the helm of a country have an outsize influence. They can incite division, demean, and fragment society. Do they bring out the worst in the human being in emanating fear, intolerance, anger and retribution? Or, do they heal, unite, respect, and motivate a nation, elevating it to a higher state of consciousness.

The character and values of a nation are mirrored in its chosen leaders, as the philosopher and writer Joseph de Maistre, (1753–1821) once said:

“Every nation gets the government it deserves.”

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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The Power of Compassionate Leadership

For more than a decade, I’ve had the opportunity to work with hundreds of companies, gaining much insight into the challenges and success stories when it comes to people management, motivation, creativity and well-being.

Ultimately, leadership plays a huge role. It determines how a family, a company, an institution, or even a country adapts and navigates tumultuous times.

Brute strength and fear never works

It’s not brute strength that counts, but wisdom. A “strong” leader, is often authoritarian and surrounded by sycophants, refuses to take good advice and relies on fear-based tactics.

This approach is often seen in leaders driven by ego or even malignant narcissism. It can lead to immense, lasting harm. Such leaders tend to belittle others to mask their own insecurities and deficiencies.

The wise leader, by contrast, has a bigger vision, grounded in social intelligence and deep listening. They pick up early signals before issues escalate into crises, navigating with a calm, compassionate demeanor. Wise leadership is marked by patience, thoughtfulness, and humility, creating an atmosphere where people feel valued and respected.

Mandela exemplified compassionate leadership

Nelson Mandela exemplified this. After being unjustly imprisoned for 27 years, he had every reason to harbor bitterness. Yet, when I met Mandela shortly after his release from prison in 1990, he showed a profound sense of forgiveness. He realized that hate and retribution would only hinder a peaceful, democratic future for South Africa. He recognized that his true strength lay in bringing together opposite sides in building one nation.

Body language tells the truth

To grasp the distinction between effective and ineffective leadership, we should pay attention not just to words but to body language. Wise leaders convey a natural authority through measured movements, creating an environment of stability and composure even in high-stress scenarios. Their expressions are often accompanied by a gentle smile that signals warmth and approachability. They nod or offer affirmations while others speak, embodying active listening and respect.

In contrast, ego-driven leaders tend to use body language to assert control. They may invade personal space, exhibit forceful gestures like pointing or chopping the air, and maintain scowling or emotionless expressions, creating an atmosphere of intimidation and tension rather than collaboration and respect.

This distinction is crucial because effective leadership directly shapes workplace culture, employee engagement, and job satisfaction—all key factors influencing absenteeism and work-related stress.

Bad leadership destroys health and well-being

Research supports this, such as the Health and Well-being at Work report from the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) in the UK. This 2019 study found that 37 percent of employees cited “management style” as a major source of workplace stress, a significant factor in absenteeism.

Organizations with supportive managers reported lower absenteeism rates, as employees felt valued and connected to their work.Furthermore, the report highlighted how companies with inclusive, communicative, and supportive cultures see fewer absences. When leadership invests in employee well-being, absenteeism rates can drop by nearly 25 percent, significantly reducing burnout and fostering resilience, health and satisfaction.

What does this mean for national leadership? Leaders at the helm of a country have an outsize influence. They can incite division, demean, and fragment society. Do they bring out the worst in the human being in emanating fear, intolerance, anger and retribution? Or, do they heal, unite, respect, and motivate a nation, elevating it to a higher state of consciousness.

The character and values of a nation are mirrored in its chosen leaders, as the philosopher and writer Joseph de Maistre, (1753–1821) once said:

“Every nation gets the government it deserves.”

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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From religion to the political cult

For centuries, organized religion shaped people’s beliefs, provided meaning, and defined purpose in life. However, in today’s increasingly secular world, political parties are stepping into this void, offering a “gospel” that vilifies and divides.

Genuine political debate and the exchange of ideas have taken a back seat, as leaders of political movements are elevated to “cult” status, portrayed as messianic figures who claim to hold the ultimate truth.

Political cults manipulate and coerce

Many self-proclaimed religious prophets and sects inevitably faded into obscurity amid financial scandals and sexual abuse. Political cults meanwhile seem to have a field day seek in coercing followers into submission while draining them of their material resources.

Cult members are notorious for defending and excusing the misdeeds, bad behavior, and extravagance of their leaders. Devotion becomes an addiction to belief. Identity is entirely tied to cult membership.

It is only after a long process of “detoxification” that individuals may realize that true happiness cannot be outsourced. No one else is responsible for creating your happiness or unhappiness—ultimately, it is the choices you make that shape a fulfilling life..

The similarities between organized religion and political parties with a cult-like following are compelling. They both provide members with community, identity and a sense of belonging. Membership of a “tribe” shapes your friendships and beliefs. Political ideologies can become just as dogmatic as religious orthodoxy, with little room for compromise or divergent views.

The political cult uses party symbols, flags, and slogans in a similar way as religious iconography, reinforcing group identity and loyalty.

In the “Us vs. Them Mentality” political cults foster a binary division between “us” (the faithful) and “them” (the heretical or the non-believers). It ultimately leads to increased division and social fragmentation.

Historical parallels

In the mid 20th-century the fascist movements in Italy and Germany took on religious-like fervor. Mussolini and Hitler were literally worshipped as messianic figures, built around powerful symbols such as swastikas, chanting of slogans at mass rallies with oaths of allegiance.

History teaches us that when organized religion retreats into orthodoxy and forms a toxic alliance with political radicalism, the consequences are devastating.

The Thirty Years’ War (1618–1648) was one of the most destructive and complex conflicts in European history, involving many of the major powers and resulting in significant political, social, and religious upheavels across the continent. While starting out as an ideological conflict between Catholics and Protestants, it was also driven by political, dynastic, and territorial ambitions.

The conflict was only solved in The Peace of Westphalia treaty establishing the principle of religious tolerance within the Holy Roman Empire, effectively ending large-scale religious wars in Europe. This came after The Holy Roman Empire lost between 15-20 percent of its population. In some regions, such as Germany, where most of the fighting took place, certain areas lost up to half of their inhabitants.

Most concerning are current development in countries such as the United States and India where religious fundamentalism forms an alliance with political radicalism. There is a breakdown of democracy, intolerance of dissent, a breakdown in constructive dialogue, and ultimately social fragmentation and disintegration.

A political religion is centered on building a tribe of like-minded followers who can be swayed and manipulated by those seeking power and personal gain. While it fosters a sense of identity and community, it demands unwavering loyalty to its self-constructed ideology, silencing dissent and, in the end, stripping the followers of their freedom and happiness.

The 13th-century Mystic Meister Eckart, in warning of the false prophets, said: “Let us observe first, therefore, that there are some who follow God. These are the perfect. Others walk close by God, at His side. These are the imperfect. But there are others who run in front of God, and these are the wicked.”

The new “cosmic” religion

Albert Einstein envisioned a new “cosmic religion” not tied to any particular religious creed or doctrine. Instead of being bound to specific religious institutions or deities, the “cosmic religion” would be rooted in a sense of awe, wonder, and reverence for the universe itself—what he called the “cosmic mystery.”

Einstein felt that science, by revealing the beauty, interconnection and complexity of nature, could evoke a profound spiritual response, that could unify humanity beyond traditional religious divides. He emphasized moral responsibility, interconnectedness, and an appreciation for the mysteries of existence, without reliance on traditional religious structures or personal gods.

Experiential spirituality in contrast to organized religion is rooted in direct, personal experience of the divine, or a sense of connection to the universe. It is an inward, subjective journey where each individual seeks their own spiritual truths through spiritual practises such as meditation, deep walking in nature and personal reflection. Individual spiritual experience is the ultimate authority.

Happiness is a state of mind

Happiness is a state of mind and perspective. Most humans spend a large portion of their day thinking of that which was and is no more or in anxiousness and fear of an uncertain future. A negative mindset opens your mind to manipulation by external forces. The only reality is the present moment.

What do you have in your life for which you can be truly grateful?

Why not practice a gratitude ritual for the small blessings and miracles of life? What brings you authentic joy and happiness?

If you have electricity, clean water, a roof over your head, and food on the table, you are incredibly fortunate compared to a significant portion of humanity. These basic amenities, which many take for granted in developed parts of the world, remain out of reach for millions of people globally.

Access to these resources gives you much better economic security and educational opportunities. You have the ability to improve your life and the lives of future generations. You are fortunate to have greater freedom to pursue personal goals, education, and self-improvement, and don’t need to struggle for survival like most people on earth.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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Disinformation: The Threat to Democracy

I had to read the headline twice to fully grasp what was happening: meteorologists in the U.S. have been inundated with abuse, including death threats, from conspiracy theorists accusing them and the government of manufacturing and controlling hurricanes.

This disturbing trend mirrors the threats scientists faced during the COVID-19 pandemic, when fake news spread claims that the virus was a hoax. Recently, I made the mistake of commenting on an article about the U.S. presidential elections, only to be bombarded with vile remarks and personal insults.

Violent threats are becoming alarmingly common, especially on platforms like Twitter, where safeguards against disinformation have largely collapsed since Elon Musk’s acquisition. Now, anyone with an internet connection can propagate wild conspiracies, with little to no oversight.

A key tactic of right-wing extremists is to vilify both independent and mainstream media, constructing a dystopian reality where truth is distorted into lies and falsehoods are presented as truth. By manipulating reality and eroding public trust in factual information, they create fertile ground for the rise of totalitarianism.

Hannah Arendt, the German-American political theorist and philosopher, best known for her works on totalitarianism, warned as long ago as six years after World War II:

“The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the convinced communist, but people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction (ie the reality of experience) and the distinction between true and false (ie standards of thought) no longer exist.”

Arendt’s concern with the fragility of truth in the public realm echoes today’s concerns about the impact of fake news on public trust in media, government, and institutions. When people no longer trust facts, they withdraw from democratic engagement and become vulnerable to authoritarian manipulation.

The reason why MAGA Trumpists and their acolytes such as Musk are targeting “mainstream media” is that Independent media is often at the forefront of exposing corruption, abuses of power, and misinformation, which might otherwise go unchecked.

Investigative journalism plays a pivotal role by digging into stories that powerful entities want to keep hidden. Independent media, free of government control, regularly fact-check falsehoods. Some examples include the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC), The Guardian, and ProPublica.

PolitiFact is one of the most well-known fact-checking organizations in the United States. It is widely recognized for its Truth-O-Meter, which rates the accuracy of statements made by politicians, public figures, and media outlets. The ratings range from “True” to “Pants on Fire” for particularly egregious falsehoods.

Basic democratic freedom and liberty are being threatened in multiple countries. Authoritarian messaging is based on negativity and falsehoods to spread fear, anxiety, and division. The existing reality is exaggerated to much worse than it is. It promises the struggling working class a Utopian future. This future will, of course, never materialize.

Here are just a few examples of what you face if you allow authoritarianism to take control of your life:

Power is mostly concentrated in the hands of a single leader or a small ruling elite. Checks and balances are eroded allowing leaders to act without accountability or transparency.Authoritarian leaders use their positions to enrich themselves and their acolytes. Public resources are diverted for personal gain, leading to a lack of investment in essential services like education, healthcare, and infrastructure.Political competition is eliminated or severely restricted by changes in laws benefiting the ruling party. Opposition leaders may be imprisoned, exiled, or assassinated as we are currently seeing in Putin’s Russia.Authoritarian regimes stoke hatred of “the other,” including ethnic and religious minorities, leading to social fragmentation violence and unrest. Authoritarianism prioritizes control over economic liberalization, creativity and innovation. In the long term economies stagnate, and entrepreneurship is stifled.

Happiness is created by mindset and perspective. Foundational is a society with basic freedoms of democracy and expression. Authoritarianism ultimately has a devastating effect on every citizen. You end up being poorer, more desperate and living a life of quiet misery.

As Winston Churchill once summized: “Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others that have been tried.”

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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Rediscover Calm: The Benefits of Trees

I often wonder why a walk in the forest quickly awakens my senses. It sharpens the sounds and smells around me. It also leaves me feeling peaceful and calm. This serenity has sparked much of the imagination behind my latest book. Science now supports what many of us have intuitively known: trees have a profound ability to put us in a positive state of mind.

The Japanese practice of Shinrin-yoku, or “forest bathing,” introduced in 1982 by Japan’s Ministry of Agriculture, Forestry, and Fisheries, was designed specifically to counter rising stress and mental health issues by encouraging people to spend time in forests.

The concept is simple: take a slow, mindful walk among the trees, engage your senses, and breathe deeply.

Recent research confirms that trees emit aromatic compounds called phytoncides, which have measurable health benefits. Dr. Qing Li, a leading figure in forest medicine and associate professor at Nippon Medical School, conducted a groundbreaking study published in 2007.

The findings revealed that time spent in forests significantly boosts natural killer (NK) cell activity, which plays a crucial role in the immune system’s ability to fight cancer and infections.

Moreover, the study showed a marked reduction in the stress hormone cortisol following forest immersion, leading to a drop in stress and anxiety. Participants reported improved mood, reduced anxiety, and an overwhelming sense of calm and relaxation after time spent in the woods. These lower stress levels improve sleep, reduce blood pressure, and, in the long run, support longevity.

The human brain is wired to negative bias

In today’s world, where our minds are constantly bombarded with negative messages that fuel anxiety and fear, this connection to nature becomes even more crucial. The human brain is wired with a negativity bias, a survival mechanism that our ancestors developed to remain alert to potential threats in their environment. If two hunters crossed paths, the first instinct would be to ask about dangers ahead.

This bias is embedded in the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for emotional processing. It reacts more strongly to negative stimuli, triggering the body’s fight-or-flight response.

Stress shuts down vital body organs

In moments of perceived danger, stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol flood the body. They shut down non-essential functions like digestion. They also concentrate all resources on immediate action. This intense focus on survival overshadows positive experiences, making negative emotions like fear, anger, or sadness more memorable and impactful than joy or calm.

This is why negative narratives—particularly in politics and media—are so powerful. They tap into our primal wiring, skewing our perception of reality to appear far more dangerous and threatening than it often is. It’s essential, now more than ever, to guard the mind against this bombardment and create space for healing and rejuvenation.

You can actively counter the negativity bias by practicing gratitude, and mindfulness. When was the last time you went for a walk in the park or in a forest?

A walk amid trees in nature will help retrain the brain to focus on positive experiences, strengthening emotional resilience and fostering a greater sense of happiness.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

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Finding inner peace: Why politics isn’t the answer

Owen’s story is a deeply tragic one, echoing the struggles of millions around the world. As a child, he endured emotional neglect, bullying, and physical abuse. As an adult, he tried to bury his painful past through hard work and discipline, building what appeared to be a successful life and career.

Owen found love, married, and started a family. Yet, beneath this outward success, unresolved anger and emotional wounds began to surface, triggered by seemingly minor incidents. These flare-ups led to growing conflicts both at work and in his marriage.

His wife and colleagues were concerned and encouraged him to seek professional help. Viewing therapy as a weakness, he refused to confront his inner turmoil. Over time, his life unraveled. Owen’s marriage broke down. When his company faced financial hardship, he was among the first to lose his job.

Although he eventually found another position, it paid far less and left him feeling bitter and resentful. Instead of looking inward, Owen began to externalize his unhappiness, spending hours online, where he became engrossed in extremist ideologies. Political demagogues fed his grievances, reinforcing his belief that his problems were caused by others.

Rather than facing his internal struggles and taking responsibility for his choices, Owen clung to the promises of a political leader who painted an idyllic future. Sadly, this path only deepened his frustration, because here’s the truth: No government, leader, or external force can be held responsible for your personal mindset or choices.

Owen’s story may sound familiar—it could mirror your own, or reflect the experiences of someone you know. But there’s a way out of this cycle. Here are some steps to find peace and happiness in your life:

Forgive, love, and accept yourself: Life is full of challenges, failures, and setbacks. Take responsibility for your reactions to them. Blame won’t change your circumstances, but your mindset and approach to life’s ups and downs are within your control.Discover your purpose: You’re here for a reason. Identify your strengths and ask yourself how you can contribute to the greater good. Meaning often comes from serving others and connecting to something larger than yourself.Find a spiritual anchor: Whether through meditation, time in nature, or connecting with a supportive community, grounding yourself in a spiritual practice can provide comfort, clarity, and joy.Practice gratitude: Even in the smallest things, there are always blessings to be found. If you can walk, see the sunrise, or enjoy a simple meal, there’s reason to be thankful. Creating a daily gratitude practice can elevate your energy and invite more positivism into your life.

Ultimately, happiness and fulfillment come from within. By learning to love yourself, you can shift your life to a higher vibrational frequency.

What are you emanating and attracting in your life? Are you the type of person whose company people enjoy? Do you light up a room with kindness, situational awareness and joy?

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

Check out also the recent episode on the Living to BE podcast and Youtube with our special guest Matt O’Neill. The topic: Happiness is a Choice.

Related topics:

Why are so many people angry and unhappy?

Healing the wounded inner child

Victimhood and embracing responsibility

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Understanding Authoritarian Tactics: Lessons from History

Authoritarianism is gaining momentum on a global level. It is undermining core democratic principles during a period of heightened insecurity, fueled by rapid social and economic upheaval. History teaches us that populist demagogues consistently use similar deceitful tactics designed to manipulate, subjugate, and control.

Is the world we know in danger? Could we be sliding into the type of dictatorships we saw in Europe during the early part of the last century? It is a real possibility if we study the rise of Nazism in Germany during the late 1920s.

Germany was beginning to recover from the after-effects of World War I during the early 1920s. This was an era of new optimism and cultural renewal. Berlin was a vibrant cultural epicenter. It was undergoing a period of artistic and intellectual flourishing often referred to as the “Golden Twenties.”

Artists like George Grosz and Otto Dix created striking works in the Neue Sachlichkeit (New Objectivity) movement. The Bauhaus School, led by Walter Gropius, was revolutionary in design and architecture, blending modernism with functionality, and influencing aesthetics globally. Berlin’s nightlife reflected the city’s atmosphere of liberation and experimentation, attracting writers and artists from many countries.

During this time, Adolf Hitler’s Nazi party was a small fringe group. Nevertheless, they had already started laying the groundwork for their future dominance. After the failure of their Beer Hall putsch in Munich, Hitler began infiltrating the political system from within. By the late 1920s, their ideology of anti-Semitism had become mainstream. Their support base of alienated groups also became mainstream. This paved their way to power after the Great Depression.

We need to examine more closely the authoritarian agendas of Trumpism in the United States, We also need to look at Orbanism in Hungary and Putinism in Russia to help us understand their real threat to democracy.

Viktor Orban in Hungary is idolized as a hero by authoritarian movements in democratic countries. Donald Trump described him as a “smart” and “tough person” in the television debate with presidential opponent Kamala Harris. However, Hungary today is only nominally a democratic country. Orban has incrementally reshaped his country’s constitution, judiciary, media and academic system after obtaining a supermajority in parliament in 2010. The playbook of authoritarianism follows set patterns:

Fear-mongering by demonizing minoritiesUndermining the judiciary and mainstream mediaElectoral manipulationAttacks on academics and cultural institutionsErosion of civil society

Authoritarianism needs an external enemy. Their rhetoric is designed to vilify minority groups, including Jews, Muslims, immigrants, and refugees. Their speeches are saturated with hate, anger, and calls for retribution. Political opponents and those with differing views are systematically dehumanized and belittled, reducing discourse to contempt and division.

Orbán has used state media and propaganda campaigns to paint migrants, particularly Muslims, as threats to Hungarian sovereignty and culture. Germany’s extremist AfD party plans to deport all non-Germans back to their home countries. Trump has called for mass deportation camps wrongfully accusing migrants of a rising crime rate.

Orban has reshaped Hungary’s judiciary, essentially replacing judges with those aligned with his ruling party. He created a National Judicial Office, giving it control over court appointments and transfers, bypassing traditional judicial self-governance. Much as in Vladimir Putin’s Russia, Orban has turned state-owned media into a propaganda arm of the government. Private media outlets were either bought by pro-government oligarchs or forced out of business through financial pressure or regulatory changes.

Sound familiar when extremists pronounce you only have to vote for them once? Orbán’s government has redrawn electoral boundaries in ways that benefit his ruling Fidesz party. Districts were gerrymandered to ensure that even with a minority of votes, the party could win a majority of seats in parliament.

Civil society organizations, particularly those focused on human rights and government accountability, have been targeted by the Orbán government. Laws were passed requiring NGOs that receive foreign funding to register as “foreign agents,” echoing tactics used by Russia to discredit and marginalize NGOs.

Orbán’s government has also targeted Academia. and the country’s educational system. Critical thinking, independence, and certain academic freedoms have been curtailed, especially in humanities and social sciences.

Democracy can only endure when it is grounded in a robust system of checks and balances, supported by a vigilant and critical civil society. The authoritarian regimes of the last century unleashed unimaginable catastrophes, including two world wars and a genocide unparalleled in human history.

At its core, democracy champions freedom of expression, individual liberty, and tolerance. It allows you to fully express and live your potential without fearing repression and control by a state. Yet, these very values are increasingly vulnerable to exploitation by extremists. Before we fully recognize the threat, power can fall into the hands of individuals whose sole aim is personal advantage, subjugation and control.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

Check out also the recent episode on the Living to BE podcast and Youtube with our special guest Matt O’Neill. The topic: Happiness is a Choice.

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Pilgrimage, Mystery, and Healing

In London’s Westminster Cathedral stands a strikingly beautiful statue of Our Lady of Walsingham, emanating timeless grace, peace, and compassion.

The Marian shrine of Our Lady of Walsingham, located in Norfolk, England, traces its origins back to the early 11th century. Known as “England’s Nazareth,” it became one of the most significant and ancient pilgrimage sites in the country.

Known as the „Walsingham Way,” countless pilgrims visited the Holy House with a wooden statue of the Virgin Mary as a focal point of contemplation. It was a time when monasteries and shrines connected medieval pathways in a powerful matrix throughout Europe.

But in 1538 Henry VIII ordered the Walsingham statue to be taken to London and destroyed. As part of his break from Catholicism, monasteries were dissolved, pillaged and pilgrimages prohibited.

Only in recent times, the Walsingham pilgrimage path has been revived now officially forming part of the network of pilgrimage paths to Santiago de Compostela in Spain.

The shrine in Walsingham has regained its medieval significance, often referred to as the “English Lourdes” because of its central place in Catholic and Anglican devotion in England.

Pilgrims to Walsingham seek healing, spiritual guidance, and a deepened relationship with the Virgin Mary. It remains a place of great spiritual renewal for many, with visitors walking the Holy Mile, a traditional part of the pilgrimage route.

The beautiful statue of the Walsingham Lady in Westminster Cathedral was commissioned by Cardinal Griffin in 1954 and sculpted by Pius Dapre. For many years it remained hidden and almost unknown in the Cathedral Crypt until it was recovered.

Mystery still surrounds the original wooden shrine which may have never been burned and destroyed as ordered by Henry VIII.

An article recently published in The Catholic Herald quoted art historians as saying that The Langham Madonna, a battered 13th-century English statue in London’s Victoria and Albert Museum, is in fact the original statue of Our Lady of Walsingham.

There were no eyewitness accounts that the statue was actually destroyed in London, according to the historians but hidden by Catholic loyalists until it reappeared centuries later in the museum.

Throughout history, countless myths, legends, and mysteries have surrounded the figure of the Goddess—whether Mary, Brigid, Kali, Isis or others—appearing and reappearing in various forms. At times, she has been revealed as a beautiful statue, carved from wood, stone, or marble, inspiring the creation of shrines, monasteries, or cathedrals at the place of her discovery.

Mary, in particular, has been known to appear in sacred apparitions at sites like Walsingham, Lourdes, and Fatima—places where the veil between worlds seems thin. Regardless of whether one is a believer, agnostic, or of another faith, her presence has been tied to stories of miracles that defy logic. Yet, time and again, she has brought comfort, solace, and peace to those facing pain and confusion.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

Check out also the recent episode on the Living to BE podcast and Youtube with our special guest Matt O’Neill. The topic: Happiness is a Choice.

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Healing the Wounded Inner Child: A Key to Finding Soul Purpose

Unlocking your true potential and discovering your soul-driven purpose often begins with healing your inner child—the part of you that struggles with procrastination or reacts intensely to seemingly minor triggers.

Many adults carry emotional wounds from childhood, like shame, guilt, or neglect, which can lead to feeling stuck in a victim mentality, reliving the past. Instead of facing and nurturing this wounded inner self, some turn to addiction or other forms of escape, missing the opportunity for true healing and growth.

Even more troubling, the wounded inner child—having endured severe physical and emotional abuse—may adopt aggressive behavior as a defense mechanism. Many of history’s most ruthless dictators, including Adolf Hitler, Mao Zedong, Joseph Stalin, and Vladimir Putin, experienced deeply traumatic childhoods.

A malignant narcissist, rather than addressing the root of their pain, develops an insatiable need to be admired, validated, and revered. Beneath this façade lies a profound lack of self-esteem that drives them to constantly seek attention and control. Often found at the helm of political or religious cults, they surround themselves with sycophants, viewing even constructive criticism as betrayal. They believe they are always right, making it unlikely they would ever seek help or therapy.

I’ve often wondered why an increasing number of adults seem to lose the plot, have no situational awareness, and lack the most basic courtesy. The foundational stones of adult life are in many ways determined in early childhood, setting you up for success or failure in later life. But no matter what baggage from the past you are carrying on your shoulders you still have the power of choice.

Emotional support, attention, and affection are crucial for a child’s healthy development. The wounded child may have been an unwanted child, having received little physical or verbal expressions of love and affection.

One or both of the caregivers have been preoccupied, unavailable, and emotionally distant for much of the child’s life. They turn into adults who have difficulty regulating their emotions and struggle with their interpersonal relationships or suffer from anxiety and depression.

Self-care and healing the inner child

Healing the wounded inner child is key to unleashing your creative powers, self-esteem, and soul-driven purpose. It is never a one-off process but can be a lifetime journey of self-reflection and self-compassion.

The worst you can do is fall into the blame game, making your past responsible for all the mishaps in your life. The healing process starts by taking a different perspective and accepting the feelings and emotions from your childhood.

You can connect with your inner child by meditating on a picture of yourself at an age that was particularly hurtful or traumatic. Talk to that younger version of yourself offering parental comfort, support, and understanding that it didn’t have at the time. It is extremely helpful to start the process with the help of an experienced mentor or therapist.

Engage in activities that nurture the joy of the inner child

Even if most of your childhood was a long dark chapter, there were also moments where you experienced joy. Find out what gave you joy in the early stages of your life and whether you can expand on that in your adult life. Maybe it was playing with a favorite pet, reading a particular book, or watching a particular fairytale movie.

Setting boundaries

The hurt inner child has never learned to set healthy boundaries. Setting boundaries goes hand-in-hand with self-care. The more you start loving and practicing self-care with your inner child, the more you will become aware of what expands your energy and what sucks away at your energy level. Practice saying no to persons when you feel overwhelmed, when something doesn’t align with your values, or when you simply need your own space.

Healing the wounded inner child is a deeply personal journey, and different techniques or approaches may resonate with different individuals. Trust your instincts and the voice of your inner child.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

Check out also the recent episode on the Living to BE podcast and Youtube with our special guest Matt O’Neill. The topic: Happiness is a Choice.

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Victimhood and Embracing Responsibility

In a relentless storm of external distractions, it’s easy to lose yourself in a maze of illusions, false hopes, and misleading perceptions that steer you away from your true destiny and purpose.

The messaging from the world out there is primarily that happiness is created by „having“ rather than „being“.

Abundance and prosperity, if used mindfully, are useful tools to make an impact, but if they are the primary motive of all your efforts you will never have enough, falling into the trap of postponing the good life to some distant future.

Here is the hard truth: That moment will never come if you fail to live fully in the present moment, and practice gratitude for all the blessings that you already have.

Accepting Responsibility

Victimhood is one of the biggest obstacles to growth and personal fulfillment. By blaming your partner, your parents, your boss and the government for all that has gone wrong in your life you stay at a low vibrational energy where you will miss all the opportunities offered by the universe.

When the language you speak to yourself and others is mainly one of anger, retribution and hate you will attract much of the same dark energy around you. What you emanate to the world you will receive. You will remain trapped in an endless cycle of unhappiness.

We are all victims to some degree. The storms of life can unsettle in countless unpredictable ways. External events, accidents, personal loss and natural catastrophes are not under your control. But how you deal with these unexpected events make all the difference.

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Accepting Impermanence

Like the seasons in nature nothing is permanent. The natural cycle dictates a time of spring and summer for birth, growth, and harvesting before we enter again a season of autumn and winter. The dark cold seasons of life are a time for introspection, recalibration and renewal. It means letting go of people that keep you at a low frequency, changing a job, a location or even a country. Fear of the unknown often leads to procrastination in the comfort zone but moving ahead also presents the greatest opportunity for growth and personal fulfillment.

Follow your aspirations and dreams

Never give up on your values, purpose and your why. You will intuitively sense that you are on the right path if everything falls into place. You meet the right people at the right time at the place at the right time. You feel a surge of energy and passion when you are doing the things that are in sync with your values and dreams.

Societal norms and expectations

There will always be other people who are seemingly happier, healthier and wealthier than you are. What you see on social media is not the reality. Sometimes those people who seemingly have everything in terms of fame and fortune are deeply unhappy because happiness is a state of mind.

Taking time for solitude

In a noisy and hurried world it has become more essential than ever to take time out for solitude and contemplation. When you take time for a quiet walk in nature the noise of the world recedes into the background. You will sense an innate harmony beyond the seemingly chaotic. In the natural world everything is interconnected and has its place and purpose within the totality of wholeness.

Reino Gevers – Author – Mentor – Speaker

P.S. If you enjoyed this article you will be interested in my books available where all good books are sold.

Check out also the recent episode on the Living to BE podcast and Youtube with our special guest Matt O’Neill. The topic: Happiness is a Choice.

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