Leah Ness's Blog, page 8

For a Season

(Originally published 8/6/13) 

A little while ago I re-read the account of Hannah and her son in 1 Samuel and I noticed something really beautiful. I actually read it as part of a quiet time while I was on my Honey Moon. I was on a cruise ship with my wonderful new husband and I was thinking about the job I had just quit.

I used to be a full time nanny (50hrs a week) to two small boys, ages 2 and 3. I worked for them for about a year and a half and boy did I ever get attached! When I got engaged and started making plans for the future, I was quite certain that the Lord was calling me to quit my job so I could work with my husband on writing full time. Even though I was sure I was doing the right thing, saying goodbye to those little guys was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. I’m not sure I’ve ever cried that hard before.

So even though I was having the time of my life enjoying my new hubby, I still thought about ‘my boys’ from time to time and missed them. When I was reading the story of Hannah and read the description of how she gave her beautiful new son back to the Lord, I’ll confess, I was crying again. I kept flashing back to my own heartbreaking farewell and I kept thinking about how much harder it must have been for Hannah. It makes her prayer in 1 Sam.2:1-10 that much more precious.

Then I noticed something strange. In 1 Sam.1:28 where Hannah says;

“Therefore I also have lent him to the Lord; as long a he lives he shall be lent to the Lord.”

Here she is, giving her son back to the Lord as she swore she’d do if God blessed her with a child, and she uses the word ‘lent.’ I found that very odd. Wouldn’t ‘give’ be so much more appropriate here?

Fast forward to 1 Sam.2:19 and you get,

‘Moreover his mother used to make him a little robe, and bring it to him year by year when she came up with her husband to offer the yearly sacrifice.’

And I wondered at that too. In the great scheme of Samuel’s life and all the plans God has for him, one would think this to be a rather insignificant detail. But I think it’s great. Here’s a woman who has honored God by ‘lending’ her beloved son to Him and rather than never seeing him again, God gives her a brief span of time, once a year, to hug her son and just love on him.

Another note on Hannah’s story is 2 Sam.2:21, which tells us that Hannah went on to have three more sons and two daughters. I believe that had she been unfaithful in keeping her word to dedicate Samuel, the Lord would not have given her any more children. After all, if she had chosen her son over God that would have been idolatry and I very much doubt that God would bless that with more children for her to idolize.

Then the verse that got me excited to no end. It’s mentioned a few times in earlier verses (1 Sam. 1:1,19, 2:11) that Hannah and her husband lived in Ramah. Look at 1 Sam.7:17;

‘But he (Samuel) always returned to Ramah, for his home was there.’

Sometimes God asks us to give things up to Him and sometimes He takes things. Whether He does this so that we will draw closer to Him, or because those things are causing us to sin, sometimes we lose those things forever. But sometimes, as was the case with Hannah, God takes those things on loan and gives them back to us. Sometimes, when God takes something, or someone, away from us, it’s only for a season. But even when it’s not, God calls us to be faithful to Him and to hold Him above all others. When we do that, it blesses the Lord and He blesses us in return.

All the Little Voices

Confession time: I talk to myself. A lot. But hey, at least not out loud. Well, not always out loud.

But everybody talks to themselves, right? And, unless I’m very much mistaken, Selves talk back. And we listen.

Throughout the average day, people get a lot of listening done. I lot more than most of us think. And we don’t always hear things the way they were intended. Sometimes, the things we heard weren’t even spoken aloud.

It can be something simple, like having an acquaintance ask you if you had a nice day. What you hear is that someone cares.

Or maybe your boss isn’t overly thrilled with the last project you turned in. This one sounds like “You failed.”

There are a lot of voices out there and they have a lot to say. Knowing who’s doing the talking is crucial.

For years, I heard ‘You’re worthless’ from a lot of sources, most notably myself. And I believed it. What’s worse, I didn’t realize who was really telling me this.

I walked around (and still do sometimes) feeling ugly, stupid, pointless, etc. and I swallowed every one of those lies because I was accepting them under the guise of humility and Holy conviction. I was accepting them as truths.

I’ve finally figured out those are not names Jesus would call me.

There should, of course, be Holy Spirit conviction over sins. If I dishonor God, He’s gonna tell me so. If I stray, He’ll set me straight.

But I’ve been listening to the wrong voices because I didn’t know how to pick my Father’s voice out of a crowed.

So here are some pointers I’ve learned as I’ve sought to recognize His voice:

If I’m hearing that I’m not enough without Him, that’s the voice of truth.

If I’m hearing that I’m not enough without good looks, money, intelligence, a size 4 body, etc. that’s the voice of the enemy.

If I’m hearing that my behavior or thoughts are dishonoring to God and I need to knock it off, that’s the voice of truth.

If I’m hearing that God’s love for me is based on my performance and I should feel super guilty for letting Him down, that’s the voice of the enemy.

If I’m hearing that He’s in control and I need to trust Him, that’s the voice of truth.

If I’m hearing that I’m a failure who won’t ever amount to anything because I’ve made too many mistakes, that’s the voice of the enemy.

Basic rule of thumb, if what I’m hearing isn’t lining up with the Scriptures, than that’s the enemy talking, and I should ignore him.

More than that, I’m commanded to ignore him. 2 Cor. 10:5b says we should be “…bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,…”.

We shouldn’t let the enemy play mind games with us because he might introduce sinful thoughts to us, and when we entertain them, they become our sin. And strongholds and sinful habits all begin as thoughts.

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

Phil. 4:8

Who are you listening to today?

The Good, the Bad, and the Irritating

(Originally posted 8/5/13)

This morning in my Bible time, I came across 2 Chron. 32:1, which says, ‘After all that Hezekiah had so faithfully done, Sennacherib king of Assyria came and invaded Judah.’ Sometimes the Bible makes me laugh out loud with how blunt it is. Basically this verse says, ‘After this guy did everything right, the bad guys got him.’

When bad things happen to good people, we are all left wondering why. ‘And after all they had so faithfully done,’ we think. Or maybe it’s ‘After all I’ve so faithfully done.’ It just doesn’t make sense to us.

A lot of us (myself very much included) are stuck in the mentality that if we are ‘good people,’ then good things will happen to us. I must confess, if I’m walking through a good patch where I’m feeling like I’m doing all right and not sinning too much, I expect to be able to go to the grocery store without getting annoyed. So when I get cut off in the parking lot, can’t get through the aisles because fellow shoppers don’t notice me, and get stuck in line for more than 7 minutes (gasp! The horror!), part of me starts to think, ‘Why are You doing this to me Lord?! I read my Bible this morning and everything!’ This is, albeit, an exaggeration, but not much of one. And I think a lot of us fall into a similar thought pattern every now and then.

We feel that if we are living for God and doing what we know is right, especially if it’s costing us something, then we have the right to live a problem-free life. When we go over a bump in the road, we get disgruntled and worried and stressed, like God is not living up to His end of the deal and can no longer be trusted. It is so dangerous to start thinking that God is holding out on us, to think that He owes us more. He really doesn’t. He created us, which means He gets to call the shots. God is God and we are not. Everything thing we go through – the good, the bad, and the irritating – is all designed for one purpose: to bring God glory. That’s the purpose of human life.

Not to mention, we don’t really know what God’s up to and what He has planned. I read this really amazing quote one time that said, ‘We have to thank God for the seemingly good as well as the seemingly bad because, really, we don’t know the difference.’ So true! God sees the entire picture and, contrary to our own fears and opinions, He knows what He’s doing. God is God and He will not give His glory to another (Is. 42:8). BUT, God is also good, loving, kind, and merciful, and He has promised to work things out for our good if we love Him.

I know that there are people out there right now who don’t even know how they’ll get through tomorrow. I’m friends with some of them. And then there are people who just can’t find the peace and joy to worship God in a traffic jam. I am one of them. But I’m determined to trust God with my life, and strive to live for His glory. Because in the twinkling of an eye, we’ll be standing in that glory!

So take courage friends, in the knowledge that God has a reason for everything He allows into our lives. He is ever faithful and trustworthy.

Too Afraid to Float

I had the privilege of listening to our pastor a few weeks ago when he delivered a line that struck me, hard. I’ve been chewing on it for over a month now.

He was describing a recent trip he’d taken to Africa and the feelings of despair he was struggling with. Looking around at all the poverty and suffering, he found himself asking God, “What’s the point? What can we even do in the face of this?”

God’s reply:

“You’re looking at the wrong kingdom.”

Wow. Guilty as charged. My focus, it seems, is almost constantly on this world and the things therein, especially in this season of change. To paraphrase C.S. Lewis, I feel I’m finding my place in this world, when really, it’s finding its place in me. 

I spend so much time mired down in my unfulfilled wants and perceived problems. I have a perfect, front row view of my situation, yet I’m blind to the greatness of God.

I worry and stress and beg and pout and complain to seemingly no end, when all the while, this world is really just the waiting room. It’s not the end of the journey and it’s certainly not home.

But so many of us – myself very much included – have allowed ourselves to fall in love with the world. We’re entangled by its entertainments and sparkles. But James 4:4 tells us this:

“Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”

That terrifies me! I don’t want to be the enemy of God. But that’s the choice. We can’t serve two masters.

Some people argue that a loving God would never send people to hell. What they don’t understand is that God isn’t sending those people there, it’s simply the alternative. Hell is the utter absence of God’s presence, the opposite of heaven. There is no middle ground. If a person doesn’t want God, then that’s the only other place for them to go.

It’s the same this side of eternity. We can either love God or the world. We can focus on His kingdom, or ours. And I’m terrified of loving the world more than God.

But I’m often even more terrified of letting go of the world. If you’ve ever had the privilege of reading Calvin and Hobbes, perhaps you’ve come across the few where Calvin pretends gravity has no effect on him and he grasps desperately for something to hold onto as he floats away into the sky.

I think it’s a lot like that for Christians. When we decide to follow the Lord, He begins to gently pull us away from the earth and it sometimes feels like we’re falling into the sky. It’s a scary feeling because we know that the sky exists but we don’t really know what crashing into with entail. The ground is safe and sturdy, or so it seems. But the sky? Putting ourselves completely in God’s hands? It’s a scary feeling.

Until you actually let go. There is such a thing as Godly fear. Fear of loving the world above Him is a Godly fear. Fear of letting go of the world is not. That’s a lie from the enemy that says we can’t trust the maker of the sky itself to hold us together and give us each breath (despite the fact that none of us would even be here if He weren’t already doing that).

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

2 Timothy 1:7

Letting go of the world is only frightening for the span of time it takes to send the command from your brain to your fingers. After that, following God wholeheartedly is the most freeing, exhilarating, and fulfilling thing you could ever do. Living for His Kingdom, looking at His Kingdom, is the best way to live.

I’m going to open my hands and give Him control, and by His grace, hopefully I won’t snatch at any tree branches as I float by.

A Reason to Smile

 

(Originally published 8/1/13)

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from pursuing a career as a writer, it’s that it takes a lot of faith. I’m not talking faith in myself or my abilities, because I often times don’t have much of that. I’m talking about faith in God, that He has called me to pursue this career and that He will bless it and prosper it if and when He sees fit.

Whenever I send out a proposal to a literary agent or do research that reveals testimonies of people who have been waiting eight-plus years, I get a little nervous. Heck, sometimes I’m downright terrified! God, what if these people say the book is garbage? What if I can’t sell it to (literally) save my life? What if the only things people read that I’ve written are cardboard signs outside Wal-mart?! And so the downward spiral continues as my mind keeps spinning from one worst case scenario to the next.

Whenever I begin to get consumed by doubt, one of the obvious things that it affects is my mood. I start to feel hopeless and depressed and I walk around looking like I can’t wait for the world to end. Then, the Holy Spirit convicts me.

A few years ago I had this dream… and let me stop there and assure you fine people that I am not about to launch into a speech about the power of dreams and all the prophetic visions I’ve had. Because this was a onetime deal for me. It was just a dream of me in church, sitting through a sermon on trusting God. My pastor looked out at the congregation and asked if we were all trusting God, really trusting Him. Then he said, “I don’t think you are. Because if you were all trusting God, then you wouldn’t be able to keep from smiling.” And that’s where the conviction hits me.

I love God. And I believe that He loves me. In fact, I believe that He loves me so much that He sent is only Son to die on the cross for me to save me from my sins and that He rose on the third day. I believe the Lord knows what’s best for me, wants what’s best for me, and is able and willing to do what’s best for me. So why don’t I act like it? Why am I not walking around with a big goofy grin on my face 24/7?

Answer; because this world is distracting and terrifying and the people in it are so important to me that I forget that God is God and He will have His way and since I love and serve Him, His way is exactly what I want. It can be so easy to lose sight of God’s goodness, of His grace and mercy towards us. The world is so noisy and not all that encouraging at times. But we can take heart, because God has overcome the world.

So I stop the spinning right there, tell the world to hush up for a sec, and focus on God. I remember all that He has done for me and I look at all the promises He has for me in the Scriptures. And when I do that, when I stop looking at the world and look to God instead, I get this big goofy grin on my face and I know I can trust Him to work all things out for my good. And yours too, if you love Him. So keep trusting Him and keep smiling =)

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

An Addendum to Hope

The other week I posted about how the Lord has called me to wait with hopeful expectation. And I’ve been trying, honest. This week has had a lot more joy and peace in it than last week did. I’ve been claiming more of the Lords promises, I’ve been watching more carefully for the snares of the enemy, and I’ve been praying a lot more.

But I’m still waiting. And something is still not quite right.

You know when you have a nagging worry or doubt in the back of your mind? Almost like you’re being stalked by something, but you’re too afraid of it to actually turn around and face it?

Yep, me too. And for me, it’s my husband’s job search.

There hasn’t been any word yet and it’s been throwing off my peace and joy vibes. Every time the thought hits me that we are still unemployed, it feels like this painful little dig. And, in an effort to remain positive, I’ve been pushing the thought away as soon as it surfaces.

So over all it’s been a better week, but the other day on my prayer walk I was just telling the Lord that I didn’t like that about my life. Everything else has been going well, I have contentment in so many other areas, but this one thought is like a black hole, a worry that’s sucking my peace and joy right out of me.

And that’s when I figured out what hopeful expectation really means in this situation.

Placing my hope in God means that my worries become happy thoughts.

It means that instead of fretting about what hasn’t happened and what will happen, that I should be so excited about what God has planned, whatever that may be.

It’s like when you’re watching a magic trick. You don’t know what will happen in a seemingly hopeless situation (i.e. a man has just vanished into thin air and there’s no possible way he can return) but you have faith in the magician to amaze you with his trick. You know you couldn’t do anything with the situation, but you trust that the finale will be mind-blowing.

It should be that way with waiting on God. I shouldn’t settle for slightly cloudy skies with a chance of rain. God wants me basking in His sunlight!

So from now, whenever I feel that pesky doubt, that paper tiger, stalking me, I’m going to turn around and confront it head on. Because fear has no place in a heart that’s full of Jesus. Perfect love casts out fear.

I need to examine that black hole to see what’s at the heart of it, whether it’s a grudge that keeps me from trusting God, greed and discontent, impatience, idolatry, what have you. Once I find that sin, I need to repent of it, and cast it far from me. Then I replace that old doubt with a happy thought.

The thought that Jesus loves me and can do anything He wants with this situation. The thought that the Almighty Creator of the universe hears every word I say, and every word I don’t; my prayer reaches Him directly and immediately, it doesn’t get stuck in an in-box. The thought that He has everything under control and it’s all going according to His plan. The thought that He is faithful and cannot break His promises.

The thought that hope does not disappoint!

God Answered the Wrong Prayer

Here we are, several weeks into our new life and I can honestly say that Houston is an answer to prayer… just not the prayer I wanted.

Back when the move was looming in the future, I started to feel nervous about it and began praying for stronger faith.

And since the job search had yet to yield fruit, I began to pray for patience as well.

It was around this time that I hear the song Oceans in Church and thought about how beautiful the lyrics were: “Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me.”

That sounded awesome to me. Where my trust is without borders. That line quickly became the cry of my heart. Well, a cry of my heart.

But deep down, I was still that child sitting on the beach, absorbed with building sandcastles. I let my dreams run away with me and I prayed desperately for them to be fulfilled. And, meanwhile, I prayed for some faith and patience too.

But I can’t grow in my walk with the Lord of I’m too busy playing in the sand because that’s the thing about sand, it gets everywhere. It distracts. And it doesn’t fulfill.

I want to seek God. I want to grow closer to Him. I want to walk out on the water to Him. And I prayed for that.

So as the story goes, I got to Houston and I didn’t like it. I became homesick and disillusioned and disappointed. Nothing was working out the way we’d hoped it would, and I wanted to know why.

So I asked God, “What are You doing?” And He told me, “I’m giving you what you wanted.”

It was then that I realized that God had answered my prayer to let me walk upon the waters. He’s answering my prayers to grow my faith and to learn patience by giving me opportunities to trust Him and wait on Him.

I’ve been so worried that I missed something, that I strayed outside of His will because nothing seemed to be going right. And now I realize that this is just what it’s like to walk on water. It’s scary, and uncomfortable. And it’s very difficult to build sandcastles out here on the waves.

But it’s also exhilarating, and freeing, and intimate. Because as soon as I realized I was out on the water, I realized that Jesus was right next to me, holding my hand. And, like Peter, I’ll only sink if I take my eyes off Him.

It is so encouraging to realize that God loves me too much to only answer little prayers. It’s a privilege to think that God has called me, of all people, to walk with Him on the waves. What an honor that my faith, small and weak as it is, moved the heart of the Creator of the universe such that He would answer my prayer to draw nearer to Him, knowing full well that I would complain about this great gift as soon as He gave it to me. How great is that grace!

I am so grateful that God loves me enough to answer the prayers I need Him to, instead of the prayers I want Him to. I’m so grateful for this opportunity to walk with my Savior.

 

Waiting the Right Way

I could make a career out of waiting. Looking back, I can point out any period in my life and tell you what I was waiting for. And I’m not done yet. Despite all this practice, I’m still not proficient at it. I guess you could say I’m waiting for patience.

Whether it was a friend when I was a kid, I husband when I grew up, or a baby after I got married, there has always been something to wait for. At the moment, I’m waiting for milk and honey.

My husband and I made a big change last month and moved 1,000 miles away to Texas. And I’m still waiting for God to tell us why. So far, it’s not the promise land I expected.

But what can I do? My hands are tied. My husband and I are doing all that we can to make our new home here, but so much of it is in God’s hands that there is a lot of waiting left over.

The Bible tells us multiple times to wait on the Lord and I’ve always thought this command was a little odd. So often when I’ve been called to wait on Him, I haven’t really had a choice.

Take waiting on Him to get married, for example. Well, I had to wait for Him to work because no one would even ask me out on a date. Now, when it comes to waiting in Texas for His will for our future, we can only go so far before it’s all in His hands and we are forced to wait in His timing.

So that’s what I’ve been doing. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting. And whining. And complaining. And worrying. But not trusting, or praising, or hoping.

But the Lord has been showing me that there is more to waiting than just sitting around and grumbling, as I’m so prone to do.

He has been calling me to hope.

I don’t like hoping. It hurts too much. Over the years, I’ve placed my hope in a lot of the wrong things, and I’ve been disappointed as a result.

We tend to think of hope as this weak thing, the least expected outcome, or something that’s just a step or two above worse case scenario. Hope has become a wimpy word.

In the Bible, it’s often used synonymously with waiting. And more than that, waiting expectantly.

“But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.”

Rom. 8:24-25

When we are commanded to wait on the Lord, many of us (*raises hand*) do so begrudgingly, worrying all the while that what’s coming isn’t gonna be all that great. But that’s not being obedient to the command.

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,

“Therefore I hope in Him!”

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,

To the soul who seeks Him.

It is good that one should hope and wait quietly

For the salvation of the Lord.

Lam. 3:24-26

See, that’s what waiting should look like. It should acknowledge that the Lord is our portion, everything we need. Waiting should involve seeking after Him as the ultimate prize. And eagerly anticipating His will to be done.

Hope means waiting with great expectations. It means praising God and celebrating the victory before it even comes.

That’s the interesting thing about when the walls of Jericho came down; they fell after the Israelites raised the victory cry. When Judah came under attack in 2 Cor.20, God told them to stand still because the battle was His. They didn’t even have to fight their enemy; God defeated the enemy while the Israelites were praising Him, before they even made it to the battle ground, because they’d put their hope in Him.

Waiting isn’t easy, it isn’t supposed to be. And neither is hoping. God has an amazing plan for each and every one of us that can only come through the long hard wait.

“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

Rom. 5:3-4

Those words ‘perseverance’ and ‘character’ are translated in the King James Bible as ‘patience’ and ‘experience.’

That’s why it’s so important to ‘let patience have its perfect work’ in us, and wait the right way.

Instead of asking God “Are we there yet?” we should spend the time thanking Him for the journey and for the end that He has planned.

Instead of worrying about whether things will work out the way we want them too, we can get our mopey thoughts off ourselves and look for ways we can love on others.

No matter what you’re waiting for, no matter how long the road looks, cling to hope.

“Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

Rom. 3:5

From now on, I’m determined to wait the right way, hopefully. 

A New Definition for Legalism

Have you ever been called legalistic?

I was raised in a ‘traditional’ church, with a lot of emphasis on works/appearance. Then, a few years ago, my dad came across the book Grace Walk by Steve McVey and my whole family underwent a shift in theology. Not a drastic one, mind you. But for me, it was my first time hearing that God’s grace is enough.

Since then, I’ve tried to walk that fine line of relying on His grace without taking it for granted and doing whatever I want. And I tried to avoid the bonds of legalism.

My sister shared her definition of legalism with me the other day and I think it’s pretty spot on: “Legalism is being too afraid to let God’s grace do the work.”

Yep. It’s not having faith in God’s love and promise to hold onto us no matter what. It’s the pride that says we can get to Him on our own. It’s something I don’t engage in anymore. Or so I thought.

At church the other day, I heard a new definition for legalism. In the evening, when your friends and family ask you how your day was, does your answer depend on your performance?

If you got things done and made few to no mistakes, do you answer, “It was a great day!”?

Or, if you messed up at work or lost your temper too many times, do you say, “My day was miserable.”?

Because that’s what I do, and it’s legalistic.

So what should I do about it? My first inclination is to try harder to rejoice and be glad in the day that the Lord has made, despite circumstances. But here’s the rub: trying to rejoice turns even the act of worship into striving in the flesh.

So if there’s nothing I can do about it, how do I stop doing something about it?

Just by stopping. Just by enjoying God. By reveling in the fact that I’m His daughter and my value to Him is fixed and not dependant on what I do or don’t do.

If there’s nothing I can do to earn God’s love, then there’s nothing I can do to keep it, and (best part) nothing I can do to lose it.

So the best thing to do with it is enjoy it. Enjoy it and use it.

I heard something cool earlier: Convinced people convince people. Who’s going to want to come follow God when the people who should be exhibiting His love are the ones beating themselves up and striving to keep a bunch of rules they made up? I would take the nifty saying a step further and suggest that loved people love people.

It’s next to impossible to love on others when we’re too busy being down on ourselves. If we are too focused on earning love, little time is left for showing it. But if we are accepting the love that God is already offering us, then the peace and joy flood in and love is all we can show others, because we are obsessed with it, addicted to it. It goes viral.

By enjoying and walking in God’s grace, we more clearly exhibit His love and we show others that He is good. 

Grace is catching. Let’s spread the news. 

Book Review: Entwined

I’ve just finished the book Entwined by Heather Dixon and it was actually my second read through.

The book is based on the fairy tale ‘The Twelve Dancing Princesses’ and it is one of my favorite books.

Princess Azalea has eleven younger sisters and when her mother dies suddenly, Azalea promises to protect her sisters at all costs. When her father places the household under a year of mourning and forbids dance, she sets out to protect her sisters from even him.

Determined to find a place where she and her sisters can dance, Azalea soon stumbles across a magic door that leads to a secret pavilion. The pavilion’s caretaker, the mysterious Mr. Keeper, bids the girls welcome and invites them back every night to dance.

The secret pavilion is a dream come true, at first. But as Azalea grows and matures through the year of mourning, she discovers the heavy price of taking things at face value.

I really, really enjoy this book. Though it is not a Christian book, it is completely clean and safe for readers of all ages.

Heather Dixon adds detail to the original fairytale without corrupting it. I love the Victorian era setting and her ability to lend each and every character a unique and individual personality.

One of my favorite aspects of the book is that Dixon manages to pull off a female lead who is both heroic and useful while maintaining her femininity, something that is more and more difficult to do in today’s culture.

I also love what she does with the relationship between the princesses and their father. At the risk of spoilers, may I just tell you that it’s a really beautiful transformation.

As I said, I’ve read through this book twice and enjoyed the second reading as much as the first. It’s a beautiful book that I’m already looking forward to visiting it again. I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys fairy tales, adventure, and romance.