Leah Ness's Blog, page 3

Pass or Fail

The student/teacher dynamic is an interesting one, isn’t it? You’re given an assignment from your teacher and, while you’re primary objective is to do well and thereby please them, there’s this sense that you two are on opposing sides.

When it comes time to complete an important task – such as a test – teachers can almost feel like the enemy, with that judgmental red pen of theirs and the power to decide who will pass and who will fail.

A prime example of this is back in my ice-skating youth. Every few months, it would be time to advance to the next level which required passing a test. Passing these tests took months of learning and practicing the moves before finally performing them for a panel of coaches.

I would typically experience the natural onset of nerves at the beginning of a test. Added to that was the fact that, financially conscientious child that I was, I was desperate not to waste the money my parents put up for the testing fee.

I remember one test very specifically.  I had a few minutes before it was my turn to step out onto the ice and I was a bundle of nerves. My coach took one look at my pale face and pulled me aside.

Looking me in the eye, she told me, “Leah, don’t worry. The judges want to pass you. They’re going to do everything they can to help you succeed. If they think you need to re-do a move, they will give you the change to try again. They want to pass you.”

Sure enough, with this reassurance in hand and feeling much calmer, I went out and passed the test, but only after the judges let me re-do a move (the camel spin, I think).

My coach’s words have stuck with me to this day because, even now, I feel like another test is always around the next corner.

God has set certain assignments for me. He has tasks He wants me to complete and a way in which He wants me to live. This is because He, as an all-knowing God, sees exactly what will be best for me and wants to make me part of His plan. Because He designed me for a purpose.

I should be honored and excited by this. Instead, I’m a bundle of nerves as I picture God sitting in the judging panel, scrutinizing my every move, red pen poised and ready.

This image I have of God is so wrong.

God wants me to succeed. He wants me to pass me, to tell me “Well done, good and faithful servant.” He is for me, not against me.

And no matter how hard I fall, or how badly I mess up, He will always let me retest. There will always be another second chance. It’s like the ultimate open-book test, where whenever I have a question, I can just ask Him for the answer and He’ll give it to me.

Does this mean I can fail on purpose, or put no effort into succeeding at all? Does this mean there will never be consequences for disobedience?

Of course not.

God loves me and He’s going to stick with me until I learn that lesson, not matter how many do-over’s it takes. That’s just the infinitely patient God I serve.

Take a look at 2 Chron.36:15.  This is the final chapter of this book, the point right before the temple is burned and the Israelites are lead away into captivity.

“The Lord, the God of their fathers, sent word to them again and again by His messengers, because He had compassion on His people and His dwelling place;”

God wants to pass us. He wants us to win the race, to receive our crown. He wants the best for us. So much so, that He will let us learn things the hard way, if that’s what it takes. But hard or easy, He’s going to patiently walk through every lesson, every test, with us, not only as our Teacher, as our Father as well.

With His help, how could we ever fail?

Encouraged by Discouragement

I came across a beautiful little encouragement in 2 Chron. the other day:

���But you,��be strong and do not��lose courage, for there is��reward for your work.���

2 Chron. 15:7

This was a much��needed��encouragement for��me as lately my work-life has felt rather fruitless. I���ve had several ���what am I even doing this for��� moments and been tempted to give up more than once. This verse came as a very blessed reassurance.

But there���s more to it than that. As I read it, similar verses of encouragement sprang to mind and I was reminded of the many times men and women throughout the Bible – great heroes of the faith – needed and received encouragement. But why?

Really, go with me on this. Why would those great people, who saw God���s amazing works first-hand and left behind such powerful testimonies, ever feel like quitting? Didn���t they realize God was for them and everything would work out according to His perfect will? Didn’t they have faith that was strong enough to banish all doubt?

But that���s coming from the perspective of someone who���s looking back on the situation, not as someone who���s caught in the middle of it.

Here in the midst of my discouragement, surrounded by the fears of failure, I quickly fall prey to the delusion that I alone ever feel this way. Everyone else has it figured out, everyone else is two steps ahead, and then there���s me��� floundering. See how I could wonder why the great heroes of the Bible, the men and women I aspire to, ever needed encouragement?

Then came the revelation: on the battleground, in the midst of the fighting, obeying God is hard. And confusing. And often times, it feels completely fruitless.

And what happens when it gets tough? The enemy sweeps in and whispers that we���ve got it wrong.

���Did God really say���?���

���If only you could go back and make that choice over again������

���You���ve strayed so far outside of God���s will. Now you���ll never have His best for you������

���Things aren���t going right, you must have done something wrong������

���You���ve messed up; now you���re useless, fruitless, barren������

These whispers, these doubts, are not indicative of failure. Quite the opposite.

Think about it: if you were headed in the wrong direction, would satan want you to quit and turn around?

Of course not! He would want you to walk as far down that wrong-way road as he could get you! Then he’d try to have you wallow in complacency, relax, and fall asleep in the shade.

And I can promise that those doubts and fears are not from God. That is not what Godly conviction looks like.

See, growth hurts because we don���t really want it. Anything worth having must be fought for and, far from being a good excuse to give up, the struggle is actually a good sign that we are on the right track.

That���s why God���s followers have always needed encouragement. It���s normal to feel discouraged and confused when things don���t go as we planned and when growth hurts more than we expected. Just because the going gets tough, that��doesn’t��mean we took a wrong turn.��Giving into the doubts and fears is what will lead us to make a wrong turn.

So if you, like me, have been feeling weighed down and discouraged by the rough trek, don���t fall for satan���s lies that you aren���t right where God wants you. Go ask your Father if there is anything holding you back from complete obedience, then do what He tells you to do.

Don’t give into��discouragement. Instead, see it for what it is: a good sign that you’re on the right track.��

Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith��supply��moral excellence, and in��your��moral excellence,��knowledge, and in��your knowledge,��self-control, and in��your��self-control,��perseverance, and in��your perseverance,��godliness,��and in��your��godliness,��brotherly kindness, and in your��brotherly kindness, love.��For if these��qualities��are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor��unfruitful in the true��knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 1:5-8

God Keeps Touching my Stuff

My circumstances lately have been less than idea and I���ve been feeling rather like a yo-yo. Caught in one of those ���when it rains it pours��� seasons in life, I���ve (regrettably) given over to a lot of complaining.

I thought life would be a little easier than this and I didn���t realize the wait would be so long. It feels like whenever I start to make headway, I get blindsided by some other calamity.

Sound familiar?

After facing a series of disappointments in one area of my life, I tried focusing on other areas and ran into a wall professionally. While I was struggling against that discouragement, Hubby and I got hit with major car repair bills, setting back our savings goals and plans.

So you see, left and right, I felt like our plans, goals, and dreams were under attack.

Confession time: I was getting angry with��God.

I felt like He was against us and I couldn���t figure out why He wasn���t blessing anything we did. With the timing of certain things, I felt like God was purposely messing us up. Why would He do that?

I was feeling like I���d given up so much that there was supposed to be some sort of exchange, like if I trusted and obeyed Him, I could pick my prize of choice. You know, like that plastic toy you got when you behaved for the dentist as a kid?

I felt like God was letting me down. I felt cheated.

So I went on a prayer walk to have a good, long talk with God. I felt compelled to read through some old prayer journal entries and flipped to one that was three years old, to the month. And wouldn���t you know it, it was an entry in which I put in writing that I was giving my job and my car to God.

Well, oops. What can I say to that? ���Well, God, I didn���t actually mean for You to touch my stuff������?

And that���s when I realized that the Lord hasn’t messed with anything that I haven���t already given to Him. I realized that I had given Him my permission – even asked Him – to take my life and do with it as He chose.

So what was I getting upset about? Because God was doing exactly what I asked Him to do?

I surrender my idols to Him and then get angry when He takes me at my word.

I get frustrated when I ask for more of Him and He answers by making room in my heart by reorganizing my priorities.

But at the end of the day, once I���ve settled down and stopped throwing my fit, I realize that it hurts this much because He is after my heart. And when the sun burns up and the stars stop shining and the sky falls down, my idols and my earthly dreams will be shown for the empty, shallow things they are. Only God and His love will last. So He is what I need to cling to.

Besides, if I believe that God is a loving Father Who wants what’s best for me, can’t I trust Him with the precious things? Can’t I trust Him to do what’s best for me, to give me beauty for ashes?

And that���s why I���m changing the cry of my heart, why I���m aiming for a different Prize.

As much as it hurts, I���m asking God to give me the desires of His heart instead.

My God Box

I have put God in a box; I put limits on Him, on His power and His goodness.

But I think everyone has God in a box. It���s not necessarily on purpose or out of pride, but because our human minds cannot even begin to contemplate the unfathomable existence of God.

It bothers me a little when people say their reason for not believing in God is because He seems contradictory to them. The argument that God can���t be good and allow suffering at the same time is backed up with the statement, ���I just can���t reconcile these two traits in my mind.���

Another argument is how a loving God can send people to hell. I know this pain acutely; three of my favorite people in the world do not know the Lord, as well as many��of my own flesh and blood family members.

Does that mean God isn’t real? Does that make Him a liar and a hypocrite? Of course not! To say so would be to judge God and claim I know better than Him.

When we use these arguments, we are basically saying since we don���t fully understand the nature of God, then He cannot possibly exist, or that He exists but is not as powerful and/or loving as He claims. But I believe that if we did fully understand His nature, then He could not exist. At least, the God of the Bible couldn���t exist.

I do not serve a God who can be understood by men. I do not want to serve a God that can be understood by men. God is meant to be unfathomable, otherwise He would not be God. We could study the Bible all our lives and still not know all there is to know about Him. We still could not understand Him completely.

The very definition of the word ���unfathomable��� means the human brain is incapable of comprehending it. If we could, then we wouldn���t need God; we would be gods.

It is foolish to say that because we don���t understand what He is up to, that means He doesn���t exist. It is equally foolish for me to say that any situation is hopeless, that anyone is ���too far gone,��� or that nothing can be done.

Furthermore, it���s prideful and sinful. I���m making a claim that I know more than God and that God is lying to me and saying He is all powerful and loving when He is not.

God is great and He is good. All the time. How do I know this? Because He said so. That probably sounds simplistic and na��ve, and people can disagree with me if they want. It���s not on me to convince others of God���s existence. Their disbelief does not negate reality. He will work in their hearts if He so chooses.

Rom. 9 is one of my favorite passages in the Bible because of verses like 9:15 where God says:

���I will have mercy on whomever I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whomever I will have compassion.���

Because He is all powerful, He does not need to explain Himself or His actions to me or anyone else. He can do whatever He wants. Even when I���m in pain and don���t understand, God is still God. And I���m still not.

We all have God-boxes, whether we know it or not. Many people have convinced themselves that their box is empty. It isn���t. God is real, and He is everywhere, and He is so much more infinitely huge than you can possibly believe. He is more powerful and more good than you can ever know. And His love for you is unfathomable.

I would encourage you today to examine your own understanding of God and realize and accept that it is and always will be incomplete. Rather than discouraging you, this fact should inspire you to find out as much as you can about this awesome and immeasurable God. Because He is there, He is good, and He is in control, whether we understand it or not.��

(Originally published 9/19/13)

The Next Book

Hello everyone =) as some of you may have noticed, in recent months I have not been the diligent poster that once I was. I have an excuse! (And it might even be a good one)

In November, I began work on my second novel. It’s been challenging and slow but also exciting and rewarding. This morning, after the first two rounds of edits, I completed the story and sealed it with the final��sentence. Well, the working final sentence, at any rate.

I had hoped to have a cover by this point, but alas, it remains just beyond my grasp. Prayerfully I’ll be able to post a cover reveal soon. In the meantime, please enjoy this brief teaser of my next novel, ‘To Watch Me Burn.’

All his life, Merritt has tried to be good enough. Pursuing perfection as a means to self-worth, he���s caught in a vicious cycle of trying and failing to win even his own approval.

When he stumbles across a secret explanation for his feelings of inadequacy, he steps beyond the walls of his legalistic society and reaches out to his fellow sinners. It is there, among the untouchable citizenry, that he finally begins to feel a scene of belonging. ��

But, when events transpire to burn all his efforts to ash, he must set out to reinvent his identity and answer the question: can a man be worth more than his actions?

Earning Grace

A little while ago,��I wrote about the trouble I have accepting love. One point I didn���t really touch on was accepting grace. When I refer to grace, I mean the unmerited favor of God. Keyword: ���unmerited.���

It scares me that I didn���t earn grace. If I had, then I would be able to sit here, secure in the knowledge that I had brought something to pass and therefore have control over it. It���s difficult to explain how my mind works (even to myself) but basically, I feel like if I had earned grace, then I would have control over maintaining possession of it.

As it is, grace was a free gift to me. It is mine to keep but I���m left feeling like there���s some other secret half of a contract I have to fulfill. It makes no sense in my mind that I (of all people) would have received such an unfathomable gift for free. So my human reasoning has informed me that I did, in fact, do something to earn it.

But rather that fulfilling my end of some bargain, I feel like God must have seen something good in me and the grace He gave me is more like an investment. The danger with this conclusion is the understanding that if I don���t live up to expectations then the grace will be withdrawn.

This thought pattern is a lie from satan, and I don���t think mine is the only ear he���s whispering it in. The entire concept of modern day ���religion��� is based on the notion that we have to perform set standards in order to keep our grace. If you are filled with the Holy Spirit, He will naturally develop fruit in your life. But this fruit is not good enough for most of us; we need to feel we have produced something in our own power.

The Galatians had a similar problem and Paul had some choice words to say about it. In Gal.2:21 he writes,

���I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!���

He goes on to say,

���I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by obeying the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?… Does God give you His Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?��� (Gal. 3:2-3,5)

Very clearly, grace is a free gift, one wielded by faith, not by works. It must, because there is no way in our human capacity that we could ever follow the law to the extent that we earn our own righteousness.

That is why Gen. 15:6 says, ���Abram believed the��Lord, and He credited it to him as righteousness.���

���But now that you know God ��� or rather are known by God ��� how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?��� (Gal.4:9)

The answer to the second question is, ���Yes! I do!��� I feel more secure in my enslavement because there I have the illusion of control. If I���m a slave then it is by my own power that I am saved, or so my deceitful heart tells me.

I know I���ve said it before but I���m finding more and more of my problems run back to the same core issue: I need to trust Jesus. It���s scary relying on Him to continue to give me un-earned grace. It���s scary to feel like the power and control are in His hands rather than mine.

But it doesn���t matter how scary it is, it remains a solid fact that I cannot change. The only thing that���s good in me is Jesus. And I rely on Him completely. I cannot take my next breath without Him. I have no grace without Him. There is no love apart from Him.�� Therefore, what other option do I have but to trust Him?

Gal.4:6 reassures that,

���Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, ���Abba, Father.������

The name ���Abba��� most closely matches our word for ���daddy.��� Thinking I can reach God in my own strength is a dangerous notion that has fed my actions for far too long. It is a fantasy, one that is hindering my relationship with my Daddy. I���m claiming the truth that I can do nothing to earn grace and that I can trust my Daddy for an unending supply of it.

Laughs for a Friday

Congratulations everyone! It���s Friday! We’re nearly there! To commemorate this special occasion, I���ve decided to try my hand at a humorous post and share a few jokes with you:

A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates and says, ‘Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in.’

‘Okay,’ the man says, ‘I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart.’

‘That’s wonderful,’ says St. Peter, ‘that’s worth two points!’

‘Two points?!’ he says. ‘Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service.’

‘Terrific!’ says St. Peter. ‘That’s certainly worth a point.’

‘One point!?!! I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans.’

‘Fantastic, that’s good for two more points,’ he says.

‘Two points!?!!��� Exasperated, the man cries. ‘At this rate the only way I’ll get into heaven is by the grace of God!’

‘Bingo! 100 points! Come on in!’

I thought that was great when I heard it because it is so true. So often we fall into the mindset that we have to earn our salvation when there is no way we possibly can. Only through God���s grace and Jesus��� sacrifice on the cross can we hope to enter into eternal life.

Here���s another one:

In the wake of a bad storm, a small town experiences major flooding and the townspeople are evacuated. One man, however, instead of leaving, climbs onto the roof of his house, sits down, and waits. After a few minutes, a neighbor comes by on his boat and urges the man to climb on and escape to safety.

���No thank you,��� the man says. ���God will save me.���

So the neighbor sails away. Time passes and the flood waters rise. A rescue boat soon notices the man on his roof and immediately speeds towards him. The rescue worker orders the man into the boat.

���No thank you,��� the man says. ���God will save me.���

After a few more efforts to convince the man to leave with him, the rescue worker leaves to search for other flood victims. More time passes and the water rises so high that the man is forced to stand up. Just then, a helicopter appears over head and a man with a megaphone informs the man on the roof that they are sending someone down on a rope to rescue him.

���No thank you,��� the man shouts to the helicopter. ���God will save me.���

Unable to persuade him to accept their help, the helicopter leaves. It takes only a few more minutes for the water to rise above the man���s head. He is soon swept away in the flood waters and drowns.

When he gets to heaven, he sees God and asks him, ���What happened?! Why didn���t You save me?!���

The Lord replies, ���What do you mean? I sent you two boats and a helicopter.���

Another truth. Sometimes we can get so set in our heads on the exact way we think God is going to act in our lives that we miss the work He is actually doing. I usually have a nice little plan in mind for how I want things to work and if things are not going according to plan, then I get confused and wonder where God is. I soon discover that He is right there, working in my life in ways I didn���t expect. I run the risk of missing His displays of power and love for me when I demand that He work only in the ways I think are best.

And here���s one more;

A little boy walked around the corner, tripped over a towel, and tumbled head over heels down the stairs. Thankfully, at just that moment, his father crossed in front of the bottom of the stairs and was able to catch his son. The boy was justifiably shaken, but suffered no real harm.

���Aren���t you glad God had me here to catch you?��� his father asked him.

In tears, the boy replies, ���Why didn���t He just move the towel?!���

That one is actually a quote from the son of my church���s music pastor. I love kids; they ask such thought provoking questions.

I hope one of those made you smile and I pray you have a blessed weekend!

What’s your favorite joke?

Three Years and Counting

Today is a very special anniversary for me. Even as I write this, I hesitate to share it. It makes me nervous to think of my secret finally getting out there for all the world to see. But if I don���t share the pain of needing a deliverer, how will God be glorified?

So, here���s my confession: Three years ago today, I cut myself for the last time.

It started sometime when I was sixteen. Anxiety and self-loathing would build up in me until I was desperate for some sort of relief. It started with scratches from a pin and graduated from there. I had a pocket knife in my room that I brought out of hiding when I needed a distraction from the pain.

If you���ve never self-harmed (and I pray you never do) then it���s difficult to explain how it helped. It���s this release; an outer manifestation of an inner pain. And it���s a punishment, something that left me feeling like I���d paid my debt and could continue��on my way without too much guilt.

It didn���t happen often, but every few months, after things had been building up for too long and the pressure was high, some little thing would set me off. I would go off on my own and I would hurt myself until I didn���t hurt anymore.

I am ashamed of what I did; many people who self-harm are. Because of this, very little is known about the compulsion. And many people don���t know how to stop.

If you have ever self-harmed, you might be where I was three years ago, wondering where the path to healing begins. Well, here���s what I���ve learned so far���

Step 1. Realize that every time you hurt yourself, you���re hurting one of God���s beloved. I tried to earn a��place as His child for years, then He showed me that He doesn’t value me because I’m valuable, I’m valuable because He values me. The same is true for you.��You are irreplaceable to Him, invaluable in His eyes. He sees your every tear and He desires to give you peace and joy. He loves you and, no matter what you do, He’s waiting for you with open arms.��Psalm 56:8 says:

���You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?���

Step 2. Identify who you���re really trying to hurt. For me it was a lot of self-punishment. But there were also people in my life whom I blamed (unfairly) for my struggles over feelings of loneliness and worthlessness. In some twisted way, I felt like punishing myself would punish them. I had to let go of the grudges against myself and others so I could forgive and move on. I had to let God take charge of justice.

���For He says to Moses, “I WILL HAVE MERCY ON WHOM I HAVE MERCY, AND I WILL HAVE COMPASSION ON WHOM I HAVE COMPASSION.”���

Romans 9:15

Step 3. Tell someone. I���d read this step in my own research and always hated it. I didn���t want to let anyone know I was damaged; I was sure I could figure things out on my own. But I kept relapsing. So I finally broke down and shared my secret. I expected to feel better and I expected to be helped, but as it turned out, the topic was too shameful and embarrassing for the parties I told to cope with. It wasn���t until I met my future husband that I trusted someone else with this secret. My Hubby (well, boyfriend, at the time) couldn���t have handled it better. He was understanding but not intrusive. At first, he only asked that if I felt the compulsion to cut again, that I call him first. Then, over the next few months, he gently asked me more about it, prayed with me and took away my knife, and asked to see my scars, one by one. He helped me see and understand my true value in God. I know God used him to set me free from cutting and I know I wouldn���t have made it three years without him. Keep looking until you find that friend and helper for you.

���For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.���

Ecclesiastes 4:10

Step 4. Don���t be alone. When I would get upset enough to hurt myself, I would go off on my own for hours. Sometime it was just up to my bedroom, other times it was after driving somewhere far away. I recognized early on that if I wanted to stop cutting, I���d need someone to make sure I wasn���t on my own when I was upset. My husband became that person for me. Whenever I would get upset, I���d seek him out and stay close by his side. If I was too upset to make that rational choice, he would seek me out instead. The important thing was that I had someone there to talk it out with me.

“Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?”

Psalm 139:7

Step 5. Celebrate your declaration of freedom. At first, I looked into laser scar removal so I could erase my sins and get a fresh start. But I realized that God doesn���t always cover our mistakes; sometimes He transforms them. Erasing my scars would have just given me a blank canvas to start��again on. I needed to remember. So instead, I went to a tattoo artist and asked her to put butterfly wings on my final scar. Now, whenever the temptation to cut rises up again, I look on that image of new beginnings and the words to my life verse (Is. 43:1) and remember that God gives beauty for ashes. I���m not saying you have to get a tattoo, but set an Ebenezer, a milestone that marks how far God brought you and declares clearly that there���s no going back.

���Then Samuel took a stone and set it between Mizpah and Shen, and named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the LORD has helped us.”���

1 Samuel 7:12

I wish I could tell you that three years ago was the last time I self-harmed, but that would be a lie. This is the anniversary of the last time I drew blood, but it was sadly more recent that I last hit myself and called myself names.

However, God is greater than the temptation to disobey Him and, step by step, I know He���s setting me free of my pain. With His help, I���m beating this. He can set you free too.

If I can help you in anyway, if I can pray for you, or answer any questions, or just give you someone to talk to about this, please don���t hesitate to email me: joyfulness5113@gmail.com.

Don���t stay where you are another minute, not when Christ died to set you free. Put your hope in Him. Come on, this could be your anniversary day too!

What Perfect Love does to Paper Tigers

I���ve been noticing a lot of unfounded and paranoid fears in my life lately. In truth, they have always been there, I���m just becoming more aware of them. And I���m noticing that a lot of other people are scared too.

This fear is hindering growth in my life at almost every turn. Fear of failure is keeping me from trying new things. Feat of rejection is keeping me from reaching out to others. Fear of disappointment is keeping me from trusting those I love. Fear of ���what if���s is keeping me from living a full life.

I know we live in a scary world and there is a lot to be afraid of out there, but I honestly believe God���s best for us is to be fearless. 1 John 4:18 says,

��� There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. ���

I know that a big fear for most of us is losing a loved one. Others fear that they won���t see their friends and family in heaven. There are more responsible fears like being able to provide for your family, or your child���s performance in school. These may seem like legitimate fears, but if the Bible says there is no fear in love, and Jesus ��� the very definition of love ��� lives inside us, surely fear has no place in us.

We start to��feel weighed down with doubt and fear and worry and I think it���s because we have lost one of our most basic and powerful defenses against fear: Truth.

In Eph. 6:14, when Paul is talking about the armor of God, the belt of truth is the first element he mentions. In those days, the belt not only kept the armor in place, but was also usually wide enough to cover and protect many vital organs. Not something you would want to forget at home.

The trouble is, that truth is under attack, and has been since the dawn of time. Satan tricked Eve into eating the forbidden fruit by lying to her and accusing God of lying, attacking the very heart of truth. We���ve been doubting God ever since. ��

In society today, we are being accosted with the notion that absolutes do not exist, there is no right or wrong, and everyone���s opinion is correct. The only time anyone is wrong is when they say someone else is wrong.

We don���t know who to believe anymore so we are just accepting that ���everyone is right.��� Whatever the media says is being accepted as true and infallible. The ���theory��� of evolution is being taught in our schools as fact. The thought that our teachers, reporters, and favorite political leaders could be wrong, or even flat out lying, is not one that crosses our minds.

One of God���s greatest gifts to us was free will and we are giving it up. We are gradually losing our capacity for independent thought. Society would have us believe we are more open and free minded than ever, but that���s not the case. By telling everyone they are right, we have inadvertently been closing our minds to the possibility that we are wrong.

We need to begin searching for truth again. Truth, in its purest and most correct��form, can be found in the Bible. I know that I know that God is all powerful, that He created the world, that He sent His one and only Son to die for my sins, and that He loves me.

But please, do not take my word for it. Don���t take anyone���s word for it. Find out for yourself.

If you have never read the Bible, but have only heard about it from others, then please, pick it up and read some of it. Make your own decisions and draw your own conclusions. Stop taking it for granted that everyone is right and you can trust their opinions. Find the truth for yourself.

God is the ultimate source of truth and He will be found by those who seek Him (Deut. 4:29). And satan knows this. Why else would he fight so hard against truth? He knows that if we really start looking for truth, we will find God.

I���m sick and tired of being afraid of the unknown. I have found truth in the Word of God and I���m going to dig deeper and find more truths to wield against the fears in my life. I���m going to start taking God at His word and listen to His truth above all others. Only then will I be able to defeat the paper tigers in my life and begin to be ���made perfect in love.���

(Originally published 9/17/13)

Checking Your Pockets

We were watching The Fellowship of the Ring last night and I noticed something interesting. When Bilbo is preparing to leave, Gandalf asks him if he intends to leave the ring to Frodo. Bilbo replies with an affirmative and informs the wizard that the ring is on the mantle. Then he has a moment of confusion and realizes, ���No. It���s here in my pocket.���

What a good metaphor for sin.

Sin can be very difficult to keep track of. One of the reasons for this is that all wrong doing is sin, but not all sin is innately wrong doing. Sometimes wonderful things, when used out of context and against divine intention, can become sin.

A good example of this is sex. God designed sex to be between a man and his wife. Used within this context, sex is a wonderful gift. When it is taken outside of the boundaries of marriage, however, it can do untold damage and becomes sinful. Money is another example. I often hear the quote ���Money is the root of all evil,��� but what 1Tim.6:10 actually says is ���The love of money is the root of all evil.��� Money can be a gift if used properly and not turned into an idol.

Because so many good things can be warped into sinful things, it can be easy to fall into the trap of self-justification and excuse our behavior. It���s also incredibly easy to slip into addiction and sinful habits. I’m so prone to the ���I can stop whenever I want��� mindset that I don���t even realize habitual sin until it���s too late and it has a grip on me.

Something else to notice is that the ring sat quietly in Bilbo���s pocket for sixty years. Sometimes sin will do that too. Just because sin isn���t causing major damage at the moment, doesn���t mean it���s harmless. There is no such thing as harmless sin. Sometimes, satan is perfectly content to let us be, well, perfectly content. Sometimes sin gets taken for granted and left alone for so long that the real damage is going unnoticed.

We can grow complacent and lukewarm, lazily fingering the sin in our pocket. Meanwhile, we aren���t growing closer to the Lord, we aren���t winning disciples, and we aren���t advancing the Kingdom. And that sin is becoming a stronghold that will eventually cause damage to ourselves and those around us.

Can you imagine what would have happened if Bilbo walked out onto the road with the ring in his pocket? The ring could have fallen into the wrong hands, or it could have corrupted Bilbo as much as it did Gollum. Or it could have sat quietly for several more years, still biding its time. But it���s unlikely that it would have been destroyed. Then all of Middle Earth would have paid the price for Bilbo���s secret sin.

If you are a born again Christian, then the Holy Spirit lives within you and you have everything you need to combat sin. But we all need to be on our guard against the ���little, not so bad��� sins that we think we can handle. All sin is dangerous, so make sure to check your pockets regularly.

(Originally published 9/12/13)