Lolly Daskal's Blog, page 63

How to Look Forward with Confidence in Uncertainty

One of my favorite books of all time is Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. It’s a book I turn to and reread every year on my birthday, and I learn something new every time. I find that it’s especially helpful in times of struggle, difficulty and uncertainty—which makes it perfect for the world today. Here are some of Frankl’s words that can help us all find the confidence to move forward:

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” This quote by Frankl is extremely helpful in situations where we want to change everyone and everything around us. It stops us in our tracks and tells us that we may not be able to change the situation or other people, but we can always change ourselves and learn to grow within our challenges.

“Everything can be taken from a man (woman) but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” These words say so much. Everything can be taken from us, including all our freedoms, and in times of uncertainty it’s easy to feel that we have no options. But we always have a choice. As Frankl says so profoundly, you can choose your attitude to make your way. In turn, your attitude will strengthen you to forge forward from an uncomfortable and uncertain place.

“An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.” Here Frankl provides an especially valuable insight: if a crisis or challenge is leading you to react in ways you normally wouldn’t, maybe your abnormal reaction is normal. When you face a new norm, uncertainty can make you do things you never would have considered before. However you respond to a situation, remember to show yourself compassion and kindness.

“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.” These words are a useful mantra in times of crisis. When the tension and uncertainty of life feel unbearable, look for meaning, for purpose, and pursue it. When you do, you will find the confidence to move forward.

Frankl, who was an Austrian Holocaust survivor, neurologist, and psychiatrist who died in 1997, is the founder of logotherapy—which translates literally into healing through meaning and provides a helpful framework for finding and pursuing meaningful goals in our lives. Frankl saw that the search for meaning can be a primary motivation. He believed that adopting a courageous attitude in situations of unavoidable suffering and uncertainty can give us the confidence to find meaning, and that when we find that meaning we are able to bear any challenge.

Lead from within: Viktor Frankl has been a mentor in my life. I hope you will allow his words to move you and give you the confidence you need to face uncertainty with purpose and meaning.

 

 

#1 N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post How to Look Forward with Confidence in Uncertainty appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

This Is What Leaders Should Be Doing to Boost Mental Health

As the pressures of the pandemic drag on and winter brings shorter, colder days, the mental health of your employees is even more important than usual. Worry, stress, and anxiety have negative effects on productivity and effectiveness—not to mention overall health and personal relationships. As a leader, you’re responsible for supporting your employees’ mental health. Here are some basic areas where you can begin:

Create a safe space. Mental health issues are often a source of fear and stigma, and many leaders avoid them entirely. Instead, work to bring it out into the light. One way to start is by asking your top leadership team how they are and how their people are. Create a safe space for people to speak freely when they need help and support.

Keep communication flowing. When people are well informed they are less stressed and less anxious, so make sure you’re communicating clearly and fully and that your people feel fully informed. Keep communication flowing well at all levels and across functional areas—don’t just communicate at the top and leave the rest of the organization in the dark. Be honest and forthcoming, communicate often, and don’t avoid difficult conversations.

Reduce overload. If people are working from home, there’s a good chance that they’re putting in longer hours than they would if they were coming into the office. Remind people that they should stop for lunch, take breaks, and log out at the end of the work day—and make sure that you lead through example by doing those things yourself.

Provide resources. One of the best ways to support employees’ mental health is to provide access to mental health services such as counseling,  therapy, and addiction treatment. If your health care plan doesn’t include these services, work to set up discounted programs with counselors and experts. Be proactive; don’t allow the mental health of your employees to become an issue.

Incorporate balance. You’d think that working remotely would make work-life balance easier to maintain, but that’s often not the case. Let your people know that it’s normal to have a life and that they’re free to incorporate a midday workout, take time to deal with family and household issues, and just disconnect for a while. In return, they’ll have more energy and focus when they’re working.

Maintain regular check-ins. Meeting regularly with your employees—in person or online—can help build a culture of acceptance and transparency. It also gives you a chance to stay connected to the culture and informed about what’s going on.

Mental health affects how your people think, feel and act. It’s an important issue, both in the personal realm and in the workplace. Take care of your people, stay connected and give them your best.

Lead from within: Addressing mental health in the workplace may seem like an insurmountable task, but it starts with small, intentional and thoughtful steps to let your people know you care about them.

 

#1 N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post This Is What Leaders Should Be Doing to Boost Mental Health appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

How to Communicate With Your Employees During Times Of Crisis

These are hard times. The pandemic, its associated economic and social problems and if your employees are like most people, they’re feeling exhausted and stressed even when nothing specific is going wrong. At times like these, the way you communicate with your people is more important than ever. Here are some reminders:

Communicate with care. When people are working through difficult times—and especially when they’re working remotely and you can’t be in the same room to pick up on subtle cues of expression and body language—you need to communicate everything with great care. Keep in mind that people will be listening especially closely and analyzing what you say in more detail.

Don’t expect too much of people. We often ask people to reach beyond their usual role in times of crisis, and most employees are willing to go the extra mile. But remember too to be mindful of their need for balance and self-care. Don’t let the crisis become a reason to ask for nonstop overwork, but keep expectations as reasonable as possible.

Involve people in the decision-making process. People don’t want to just be told what to do; they want to know they have a say in what is happening, especially in challenging situations. Make room for wide involvement wherever you can, and make sure to let people know they matter and their ideas are valuable. When people feel they have ownership, they care more about outcomes.

Acknowledge your employees’ emotions. Take the time to seek out and listen to your employees’ perspectives and let them know they’re heard and valued. Reassure them that they’re safe in expressing their feelings, and be candid in expressing some of your own emotions to help reinforce that point. Acknowledge and validate what you hear from your people. Express understanding—and look for ways to help if you can.

Create an empowering culture. In crisis it’s especially important for people to feel they have control, and how you communicate and what you say is important. You don’t want employees to feel they’re being spoken at, so make sure they understand that they’re the authors of their actions and have the power to make choices through this time of uncertainty. Encourage self-initiation and participation; avoid controlling language and minimize coercive controls like unrealistic deadlines. Instead, find ways to motivate people through involvement, encouragement and positive feedback, Be transparent by providing the rationale behind your requests.

Communication is key in a crisis, and how you communicate as a leader can make the difference between thriving or barely surviving in these tough times.

Lead from within: It is the leader who takes the time to understand their people who people respect the most and who inspires them to give their best through times of crisis.

 

#1 N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post How to Communicate With Your Employees During Times Of Crisis appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

How To Increase Psychological Safety In A Virtual Team

Most of us are working from home these days. We may have started off thinking of it as a temporary measure, but now it’s clear that many of us won’t be returning to the office in the foreseeable future—if ever. Now that we have a base of experience, it’s time to think about how we can create virtual teams that are truly effective and will serve us well in the long haul.

Here are some starting points:

Model the right kind of behavior. Leadership is especially crucial in a virtual teams, but research shows that leaders consistently fail to recognize how their actions influence others. Model the attitudes and behaviors you want to see. To signal that virtual working is the new standard, make sure you keep yourself organized and equipped with everything you need, including good Wi-Fi.

Create informal meet-ups. Set up virtual meeting rooms where people can connect for quick meetings and communicate informally. And make sure you show your presence by hanging out there from time to time to connect with your team. Pop in, listen to what people are saying and contribute to the conversation where you can.

Develop a communication hub. Set up a channel in your messaging app or chat function where people can talk about what’s happening in the world and in their lives, post memes and videos, and compare notes on podcasts or movies. Think of it as a virtual water cooler.

Be respectful of people’s time. Just because your people are working from home, don’t make a habit of expecting them to check in at the crack of dawn or stay up late for team meetings. Especially in unsettled times, people need to be able to rely on their home routine, whether that means an early-morning walk or helping their kids with homework. People aren’t at their best when they’re pulled from those routines.

Measure your success. As you implement changes to accommodate remote teamwork, measure the results against what you had before. If it’s a change that affects clients or employees, set up an anonymous survey or another channel to solicit candid feedback—and listen to the responses. Tracking results and monitoring feedback can help make ensure that your virtual workplace is serving your team well

Keep people safe. Psychological safety matters in the workplace, with remote teamwork it requires more attention than ever. People are comfortable working in an environment when they feel safe making mistakes, speaking up, and generating innovative and creative ideas. Above all else, make sure your people feel that same sense of safety in their virtual workplace.

Taking the time to create a remote environment where teams can work effectively, stay connected with their colleagues, and know they’re safe pays off in engagement, morale, collaboration, and productivity.

Lead from within: You need to be able to motivate talent and inspire people wherever they are. Then when they succeed, they strengthen your team and your organization even more.

 

#1 N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post How To Increase Psychological Safety In A Virtual Team appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

If You Want to Be A Better Leader, You Must Do This

In today’s fast-paced, frantic and frenzied world, there’s one thing above all else that leaders must do if they want to improve their attention, performance, relationships and—most of all—stress levels. Simply put, the secret to being a better leader is to have the discipline of pausing.

Pausing to gain focused attention. You can’t give your best when you’re doing more than one thing at a time. Many of my clients brag about how great they are at multitasking, but what they can’t brag about is being able to give the task at hand the attention it deserves . Just marking things off your to-do list doesn’t make you effective or productive. Great leaders have the discipline of pausing so they can focus their attention and concentration, and the result is excellent work .

Pausing to improve performance. Most people think in order to perform better you have to go faster and quicker to get there before your competition. But I’ve found that doing something quickly doesn’t mean you’re doing it well—in fact, the opposite is more often the case. The best way to improve your leadership, especially if you want stay ahead of your competition, is to discipline yourself to pause. Take the time to stop and think about what you are doing. The discipline of pausing will help you achieve the quality of work you want for yourself.

Pausing to connect more deeply. Making deep connections and developing purposeful relationships take time and discipline. Relationships are all about investing yourself in another person, and that’s not a process you can rush. Relationships need time to grow and develop. The best leaders don’t settle for superficial connections—they master the discipline of pausing so they can dive in deep for more meaningful connections.

Pausing to calm yourself. Business is stressful, leadership is demanding and many of us go through the day without a break. But no one is going to give you that break; you have to find the time to give it to yourself. To be the best leader you can be, you need to have the discipline of pausgin, because it is in those pauses that you can manage your stress and give your mind and body the boost in needs in this demanding world.

The discipline of pausing isn’t complicated, but it represents a profound concept that can enable you to gain more power and a better ability to deal with the things you can’t control. Master the strategic pause—once you’ve learned to do it well, it will have a significant impact on your ability to lead yourself and others.

Lead from within: The discipline of pausing is about the one absolute power we have as leaders. It is about becoming more without having to do more.

 

#1  N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: istockphoto

The post If You Want to Be A Better Leader, You Must Do This appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

How to Deal with An Intimidating Leader

Many organizations operate out of the belief that people in leadership need a tough mindset to be effective. Especially in turbulent times, there’s a sense that the only way leaders can reach the financial and subjective goals they’re measured against is to bulldoze their people. But of course this approach doesn’t yield great results, and it leaves employees feeling unnerved, insecure and even frightened.

If you’re among those who are feeling intimidated and overwhelmed, here are some tips for coping:

Manifest the right mindset. The best way to deal with an intimidating leader is to keep a good mindset. Don’t take anything they say to heart; remember that what they’re saying and doing is a reflection on them, not you. When you keep that in mind, it becomes a lot easier to manage your attitude and your emotions.

Practice direct and concise communication. Never give anyone who’s trying to intimidate you reason to believe their efforts are working. When you need to communicate with your intimidating leader, plan and rehearse to make sure you’re clear, direct, confident and firm about what you’re saying.  Some examples

I think…..
I appreciate the feedback, but I don’t agree.
Let me get back to you on that.
Here’s what I can do …
I understand your position; here’s mine.

Maintain your professionalism. When your leader is intimidating, it’s more important than ever to avoid negative behavior like gossip, yelling, or losing your temper. Don’t badmouth your leader to others. Whatever happens, remember that you can’t control their behavior but you can control your response and keep your own behavior impeccably professional. That doesn’t mean you have to put up with bullying—report abusive behavior to Human Resources or through your organization’s official channels.

Develop a stronger relationship. If you can get past the intimidating façade to the human beneath, it may be possible to begin developing a stronger relationship with your intimidating leader. If they know they can trust you, they may be inclined to let go of their hard exterior—at least with you, and maybe eventually with others as well.

Lead by example: Be a model for a better way of leadership. Show your leader that appreciation, recognition and reassurance lead to better results than intimidation, and they may start paying attention. Demonstrate to your leader, and to others on your team, what open and authentic leadership looks like.

Leadership through intimidation often gives rise to mistrust and skepticism, and the consequences to people, teams and organizations can be deep and long-lasting. If you’re in leadership yourself, take stock of yourself to make sure you’re not guilty of intimidation. And if you’re working for someone who exhibits patterns of intimidating behavior, do everything you can to deal with it and turn it around—and keep yourself healthy and grounded in spite of their efforts.

Lead from within: Leadership at its best is based upon inspiration and motivation, not domination or intimidation.

 

#1 N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

How Great Leadership is Generated in Significant Crisis
How to Lead Your Team When The Future Is Uncertain
The One Aspect Of Crisis Management That No One Talks About
How The Best Leaders Are Already Planning Past The Crisis
How to Engage Employees During Uncertain Times
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post How to Deal with An Intimidating Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

Your Leadership is Toxic When You Do This

You’ve probably heard the old adage that people don’t leave bad jobs—they leave bad bosses. Your style of leadership is important to every element of your team’s success. It’s up to you to create a culture of positivity and support, or one of intimidation and mistrust.

Toxic leadership happens at every level in every type of organization, leaving employees, teams and organizations demoralized and ineffective. It’s rarely intentional, and many leaders who practice toxic behaviors aren’t even aware of what they’re doing. Here are some of the top signs:

When you lead with arrogance. If your leadership is based on a sense of self-importance, it is likely causing negativity. Leadership is about advancing others, not promoting yourself.

 When you lead with micromanagement. If you can’t trust your team, if you keep putting your fingerprints on everybody’s work, if you have a hard time letting go of the details, you’re likely engaged in micromanagement. And that means your team is almost certainly feeling undermined and uninspired—which, in turn, means they’re less effective and productive than they could be.

When you lead with unrealistic expectations. Demanding leaders are constantly asking for things that are unrealistic or even impossible. Getting people to stretch is good, but setting goals so high that they’re virtually impossible to reach results in a  disengaged team.

When you lead with deficiencies. You may have the title, but that doesn’t mean you have all the answers—or even that you should. The best kind of leadership is being genuine enough to say, “I don’t know it all, but I surround myself with people who do.” Leadership means amplifying the strengths of others instead of insisting on the sound of your own voice.

When you lead with a temper. Emotionally unstable leadership is by nature toxic; a leader with anger problems creates an organizational culture that feels unsafe and uncomfortable. If you can’t manage your own emotions, it’s hard to persuade others to have faith in you. Your team can’t perform well if they’re walking on eggshells.

When you lead with insolence. If you’re rude to those who disagree with you or dismissive of those who express opinions that differ from your own, if you have a reputation for being intolerant of dissent, you’re likely to be inspiring contempt rather than excellence. Honest exchanges of ideas and opinion are an essential part of any functioning team, and without them your leadership can’t prosper.

Few leaders are entirely toxic, but too many have at least a streak of toxic behavior—and whatever the degree, it’s damaging to everyone involved. If you recognize even one of these signs in your own leadership, you need to make a change. Seek out a coach or mentor, or work with yourself and make a disciplined effort to become the kind of leader you can be proud of.

Lead from within:  Awareness is key in leadership, and it’s the key to avoiding the kinds of toxic leadership that create a negative experience for yourself and those you lead.

 

#1 N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post Your Leadership is Toxic When You Do This appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

How to Make Your Employees Feel They Belong

A basic need of people everywhere is to feel they belong. A sense of belonging is essential to emotional well-being, and it’s also an intrinsic motivator, activating people to become more involved and inspired. In short, it’s an essential component of any successful team and organization.

In today’s climate, where people are dispersed geographically and often divided over political and cultural issues, it’s harder than ever to create that sense of belonging. But challenging as it is, it remains one of the most essential things a leader can do to ensure their team’s well-being and effectiveness. Here are some steps you can take:

Create a culture of inclusion. Exclusion often happens unconsciously and unintentionally. To combat it, you need to be purposeful about cultivating and maintaining a culture that equitably supports people from all backgrounds and walks of life in achieving their potential and ensures they are accepted and valued. An inclusive culture views differences as strengths.

Create a culture of respectful connection. In a connected culture, people are bound by strong ties; they support and trust one another. People inspire one another to give their best effort. Without sacrificing individuality, they build strong group norms that align them with the organization’s mission and goals, and they keep one another engaged and involved.

Create a culture of contribution. When people feel that they are making a contribution, that their work matters, that their talents and strengths are valued and their efforts make a meaningful difference, they develop an awareness that they’re working for something bigger than a paycheck—and their work will reflect that awareness.

Create a culture of safety. The best way to make people feel they belong is by creating an environment where they know they are safe to be who they are and express themselves without negative consequences. People can relax and  let their true selves shine through. They know they can speak up and be heard—and even get it wrong sometimes. People can’t possibly feel they belong somewhere they don’t feel safe.

Create a culture of recognition. When you express recognition and appreciation, you foster a sense of belonging. You communicate to people that they matter—and when people know they matter, they feel empowered and able to excel.

Creating and maintaining a culture where people feel they belong is never going to be easy. It requires that every level of the organization view their actions through a diversity lens to make sure they’re creating opportunities for everyone to contribute equitably, and making sure that leadership knows how to motivate and inspire. But the results are powerful. When people know they matter and their contributions are making an impact, there’s no limit to what they can accomplish.

Lead from within: The best leaders take the time to understand the importance of creating an environment where people feel they belong.

 

#1 N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post How to Make Your Employees Feel They Belong appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

The Best Way To Deal With A Stubborn Leader

Few professional situations are more challenging to deal with than a stubborn leader. A boss who debates every point, ignores feedback, and refuses to listen is not only frustrating but also a significant professional barrier. So how do you deal? In my experience, these techniques work best:

Acknowledge the situation. Acknowledging a stubborn leader can be a problem in itself. You may hope that if you ignore it, it will go away. But if you want to deal with the situation, your first step has to be to acknowledge it for what it is.

Work to create channels of communication. Communication is the key to dealing with any difficult situation. And when you’re dealing with someone who’s locked into a mindset, that communication has to be done respectfully and thoughtfully. Start small and try different approaches until you find something that works. Even if it’s imperfect, it’s a start.

Stay calm. However frustrated you’re feeling, don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Your anger and negativity can only perpetuate the cycle rather than breaking it, and your efforts won’t go anywhere. Your leader will be much more likely to listen to you if you appear calm and collected.

Create a partnership. Position your suggestions for change in the form of a partnership that benefits your boss, not a confrontation about what they need to change. For example, you might say, “I think it would be helpful for us establish a channel for sharing our opinions. What do you think is the best way to go about it?” Listen to their ideas and agree with as much as you can.

Keep practicing agreed-upon solutions. When your leader starts to fall into old patterns, try to steer them gently back toward the process you’ve established. Keep your own tone nonconfrontational and neutral.

Reinforce baby steps. In my work as a leadership coach, I have found that stubborn leaders are usually averse to diving into the unknown but instead move slowly toward change. Reinforce every effort, however small, and be prepared for progress to happen little by little. The important thing is maintaining a positive direction.

Smooth the way with compliments. Stubborn leaders often honestly believe their way is best, which is why they tend to view any difference of opinion as a personal attack. One way to help feedback land successfully is to lead off with a compliment. You might say, “That approach is really strong—what if we reinforce it with…?” or “You always have such good ideas, so I thought I’d pitch one to you.”

Successful people are usually strong-willed, and it’s a fine line between being strong-willed and stubborn. Even with the most challenging leaders, viewing their stubborness as a personality trait you can deal with and work around can help you improve the situation and relieve at least some of your frustration.

Lead from within: Stubborn leaders do exist, and how you deal with them may make the difference in your own success.

 

#1 N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post The Best Way To Deal With A Stubborn Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

How to Take More Control of Your Own Growth

We all tend to believe who we are today is the same person we were 10 years ago and the same person we’re likely to be 10 years from now. But if you think about it, there’s a good chance that you’re a very different person than you were 10 years ago—and that means there’s an equally good chance that you’ll be a very different person in the future.

We consider who we are in the present moment to be the true version of who we really are, but as human beings we are all works in progress, constantly changing and growing.

Growth may be inescapable, but it doesn’t have to be something that just happens to you—it’s something you can direct and control. And if you want to become the best version of yourself, you need to let go of the shackles of today and take charge of your own growth for tomorrow. Here are some good starting points:

Stop labeling yourself. Many of us look back at who we’ve been and decide that’s who we are. Too often that label is tied to some negative trait or experience—but even when it isn’t, it doesn’t leave you much room to change or grow. When you take on a label, you start looking at reality in a way that confirms that label, and you gradually dismiss any alternatives. Who you were may be a part of who you are and who you’re becoming, but it’s not the whole story or your destiny.

Reimagine your future self. Change the story you tell yourself about your future. Instead of thinking about who you think you’ll become, ask yourself who you want to become. Make conscious, intentional choices about the direction of your growth and establish clear goals to shape the process. We are all in a constant state of becoming, so shape your behavior not around your past but around your desired future self.

Measure your development. To take even more control of your growth, make regular measurements of the gaps between who you are and who you’re working to become. Once you’re feeling more at home with the distinction between your present and future selves, you can start to make more detailed comparisons and identify the areas you want to focus on.

Create desired outcomes. We’re driven by all kinds of motivators—from faith and hope to obligation and ambition to the desire for something new. Lean into the motivators that will help you reach the future self you desire. When your future is clear, your behavior will reflect that clarity.

As we all know, change is inevitable and growth is unavoidable—but that doesn’t mean it’s out of our control.

Lead from within: The best way to take control is to be deliberate about who you want to become and start behaving today for your future identity.

#1 N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

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Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

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