Lolly Daskal's Blog, page 66

How to Brainstorm When You Are Not in the Same Room

Now that many of us are no longer working together in the same space, we’re starting to get accustomed to new ways of doing things. But some processes are harder to translate than others, and brainstorming is one of the most challenging. Where before we were able to sit down in a room and hash things out collaboratively, now we’re trying to bounce ideas off each other over email and in awkward teleconferences. But it’s possible to accomplish great things with remote brainstorming. Here’s an approach that can yield top results:

Be clear in describing the problem. When people are working remotely, it’s easier for different assumptions and expectations to develop. Even though it may seem like an oversimplification, start by clearly stating the problem you’re trying to solve to make sure everyone has the same understanding.

Identify the problem solvers. Brainstorming depends on combining knowledge and skills, and it works best with a diverse group. Identify the individuals you want to participate and let them know about it—but don’t bring them together yet. You’ll need to keep them apart until the next step is complete.

Give everyone time to process alone or in small groups. People in groups tend to think as a group, limiting the range of possible solutions. It’s a common pitfall even with in-person brainstorming, and even more so when you’re working remotely. Before you bring the full group together, allow each person some time to process the problem alone or in small groups. Giving people an opportunity to engage and generate ideas ahead of time brings the widest possible range of options to the table. Have each individual or small group contribute their initial ideas in writing so you can capture them before people start to influence one another’s thinking.

Share the entire list of initial solutions with the group. Once everyone’s had a chance to come up with some ideas, compile them into a single list without saying which idea was whose. Send the compilation to everyone so they can consider all directions before you bring them together to generate a solution.

Invite a voice that’s missing. After looking at the list of initial ideas, you may realize that another perspective or area of expertise needs to be brought in. This slowed-down process gives you a chance to include those voices—something that wouldn’t be possible with traditional brainstorming.

Bring the full group together: After you’ve allowed people to process and finalized the group, bring everyone together to discuss the most promising ideas and begin working toward a consensus.

It may seem strange at first to give up the energy of around-the-table brainstorming, but who knows? This new way of thinking collaboratively, which benefits from a wider range of voices and ideas to be considered, may actually yield such great results that we never go back.

Lead from within: When things change around us, we have to learn to adapt by changing the way we do things.

 

#1 N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

How Great Leadership is Generated in Significant Crisis
How to Lead Your Team When The Future Is Uncertain
The One Aspect Of Crisis Management That No One Talks About
How The Best Leaders Are Already Planning Past The Crisis
How to Engage Employees During Uncertain Times
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed

 

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post How to Brainstorm When You Are Not in the Same Room appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

To Be Successful Working from Home- Your Personality Matters

Working from home suits some people better than others. In my coaching practice, I see some leaders thriving In it and others barely getting by. The difference is often their personality.

If your personality allows you to easily merge your work and home life, working from home will likely be a breeze. But for those who function best with a clear line between the two, working from home can be frustrating and exhausting.

As with so many other things, most of us fall somewhere in between the two extremes. Here are two examples:

Michael runs a successful investment fund company. Before the pandemic, he left for work every day at 5 a.m., worked straight through till about 6 p.m., then came back home for family time. He might call home from the office in a special circumstance, and now and then he’d bring some work home to do after hours, but the separation of work and home gave him great clarity.

Richard is the CEO of a biomedical company. Pre pandemic, he dropped his kids off at school on his way to work and checked in with his spouse a few times during the day. Sometimes he’d focus hard on either work or home depending on what each situation required, but he loved the day-to-day integration of his life and found it helped him stay balanced.

The shift to full-time working from home hit them both hard, but in different ways. Michael struggled with the loss of uninterrupted quiet time. He was constantly distracted and had a hard time even keeping up with email. Richard, on the other hand, found himself struggling to keep up with long days of what felt like a never-ending juggling act.

Each needed a routine that worked for their situation. For Richard, that meant establishing a closed-door distraction-free time every day. For Michael, it meant adding some structure to the work-family flow.

Think about your situation and personality, and adapt the way you work from home to suit your needs:

Set up a routine. Set a period of time every day that you focus only on work. Have a start and end time so your family members know the schedule. Likewise, have set hours that are family time, and don’t let work intrude.

Identify your most important tasks every day. Focusing on priorities lets you have a sense of accomplishment and peace of mind even on days when you don’t get much done.

Schedule breaks with family in mind. Break up the work day and stay in touch with your family with structured daily activities. Have lunch together or establish a mid-afternoon recess with some outdoor time.

Keep yourself accountable. Find your balance and be accountable to yourself for the ways you spend your energy and time. Self-awareness can help you rediscover the sweet spot of your work style.

Change is never easy, and we’ve all had more than our share these past few months. But if you adapt change to your personality, it can help you bring out your best.

Lead from within: Knowing your personality can help you succeed in any environment.

 

 

#1 N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

How Great Leadership is Generated in Significant Crisis
How to Lead Your Team When The Future Is Uncertain
The One Aspect Of Crisis Management That No One Talks About
How The Best Leaders Are Already Planning Past The Crisis
How to Engage Employees During Uncertain Times
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post To Be Successful Working from Home- Your Personality Matters appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

How to Lead in an Anxious World

We are living through a crisis with no modern-day precedent. Organizations of every size and type, from businesses and governments to hospitals and schools to faith communities and nonprofit organizations need leaders. We need people who can help others overcome their weakness and fear and come together to do better, more difficult things than any one of them could do on their own.

But how does a leader bring inspiration and motivation in an anxious world? Here are some thoughts:

Help people understand their stress. Especially in such a widespread, long-lived and exhausting crisis as the pandemic, it’s common for people to cope by trying to push their stress away. Some are reluctant to address their fatigue or even acknowledge their fears. The best leaders model healthy ways of viewing and dealing with their own stress, and they encourage others to own and address whatever they may be feeling.

Encourage people to face their fears and take action. In the midst of the Great Depression, Franklin Delano Roosevelt famously told the nation, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” In other words, we have to meet the crisis head-on, because that is where we will find our strength. You cannot solve a problem until you face it, and you cannot find resolution in turning away. As a leader, you are charged with showing understanding to anxious people and then leading them to act.

Deliver brutal honesty and bring people together in solidarity. Especially when those around you are anxious, it’s important to be brutally honest. Assess current and future threats frankly and transparently, because only then you can rally people together in solidarity, determination and resilience to weather the crisis collectively.

Provide a purpose and distinct direction. When anxiety is present and fears are rampant, the best leaders invite people to serve with purpose in a defined direction. They assign clear roles and responsibilities and remind their team that their work matters and has value. When people know where they’re going and have a clear sense of the purpose, meaning and value behind what they’re doing, anxiety fades and focused action takes priority.

Emphasize the power of agility and reassessment. When you’re hit by a crisis you’ve never experienced before, there’s no playbook or experience to guide your actions. That means you need to be a leader who can move through a changing landscape with flexibility, consistently testing what you’ve learned and reassessing your knowledge and strategy as you go. You will likely experience some blind alleys and reversals and failures, but they all play a role in moving through the crisis. Keep your message consistent with your actions, reminding your team that the crisis you’re experiencing gives you a powerful opportunity to do better and be better together.

Lead from within: In a crisis the true leader will not waste any challenge. Instead, they will do what it takes to turn it into a memorable and meaningful opportunity.

 

 

#1 N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

How Great Leadership is Generated in Significant Crisis
How to Lead Your Team When The Future Is Uncertain
The One Aspect Of Crisis Management That No One Talks About
How The Best Leaders Are Already Planning Past The Crisis
How to Engage Employees During Uncertain Times
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed

 

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post How to Lead in an Anxious World appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

How to Refuel When You’re Feeling Burned Out

These days, many of my coaching clients are telling me that they’re feeling burned out. Nearly everyone I talk to has some version of the same concerns: they feel busier, stretched further and more exhausted than ever before. They’re working harder and keeping longer hours, all under the stress of the pandemic and its personal and economic effects.

As an executive leadership coach, part of my job is helping my clients learn how to refuel when they feel depleted so that they can get back on track. Here are some of the most successful techniques and tips that I share with them:

Regard yourself as priority number one. When people are stressed, they let themselves go and forget how important it is to make themselves a priority. But if you don’t, it becomes progressively harder to replenish your physical and mental energy. When that happens, you lose clarity and focus—and that, in turn, further depletes your well-being. It’s an unhealthy cycle, but it’s one you can end. If you want to stop feeling exhausted, start treating yourself as your own top priority.

Review your current situation. Before you can begin to help yourself, you need to assess your current state. Examine how you’re spending your time and energy. An effective technique for finding out what drains you is to track your activities and rate each one in terms of how much it energizes or drain you. Once you understand where you are, you can begin taking steps to limit your exposure to the tasks, people and situations that drain you and increase your exposure to those that replenish you.

Minimize the attitudes that cause you stress. Everyone has patterns of thought that contribute to their stress. Learn what yours are and work to reduce their influence. For example, if you have perfectionist tendencies, spend some time recognizing that attitude and thinking about the ways it causes you stress. Then make a conscious decision to delegate or outsource some things, understanding that doing so means letting go of your ideas of perfection and control. Turning loose of something you’ve been holding onto tightly makes room for other things you need.

Find your best fuel. We all have different things that refuel us, and to be your best it’s important to know what works for you. If you have trouble maintaining the distinction between your professional and personally life, create boundaries. If you find yourself working all hours, set a time to unplug so you can rest and connect with family and friends. Refueling looks different for everyone—some of my clients exercise, some meditate, others take walks with their loved ones, cook, or just shut off their notifications. Give yourself whatever you need to do to replenish yourself and stop feeling burned out.

Lead from within: Refueling won’t keep you from experiencing moments of stress and anxiety. But it will increase your resilience and your resistance to mental and physical exhaustion.

 

 

 

#1 N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

How Great Leadership is Generated in Significant Crisis
How to Lead Your Team When The Future Is Uncertain
The One Aspect Of Crisis Management That No One Talks About
How The Best Leaders Are Already Planning Past The Crisis
How to Engage Employees During Uncertain Times
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed

 

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post How to Refuel When You’re Feeling Burned Out appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

How to Tell Who Will Be A Good Leader

A question I hear often—from colleagues, board members, HR directors, recruiters, and people at workshops and conferences—is how you can tell whether someone will be a good or a poor leader. What are the signs, qualities, traits that predict excellent leadership? There’s no clear-cut answer, but after years of coaching leaders around the world, these are my baseline predictors, for two reasons: first, because they show up consistently in the best leaders, and second, because they can’t be faked.

Integrity. Integrity as a leadership trait encompasses honesty, sincerity, truthfulness, transparency and strong moral values. Of all leadership qualities, it’s the most important. If someone embodies integrity, I know they are capable of becoming a great leader.

Empathy. Most people don’t listen at all or, at best, listen with a corner of their attention. But a person who listens well, who sets out to understand and communicates with compassion, has the makings of a great leader.

Accountability. The best leaders take responsibility for their leadership and hold themselves accountable. They admit their mistakes and take the blame when things go wrong, but they also work on hard on getting the job done and getting results—and when they do, they give the credit to others.

Appreciation of others. If a prospective leader can’t appreciate others and recognize them for their contributions, that’s a huge red flag. Great leaders excel at appreciating people, elevating them to greater heights and getting the most out of their capabilities.

Decisiveness. Leaders are bombarded on a daily basis to make decisions, and the great ones are decisive. Period. They know how to settle tough, thorny issues and maneuver through the sea of day-to-day small decisions. A decisive leader exudes confidence and is someone people want to follow.

Trusting and trustworthy. Trust is among the most important traits for a new leader to build and grow. Without trust in every direction there is very little respect for leadership. Trust is what turns a good leader into a great leader.

Several components may go into great leadership, but in my experience poor leadership can be recognized with just one quality: it’s carried out for personal gain or to control others.

Good leaders are constantly working to help, support, develop and invest in others. A bad leader, on the other hand, thinks only of how they can get ahead and move their own agenda forward. Unfortunately, it’s easy to spot a bad leader, and they exist in almost every organization—they’re the ones who are demoralizing amazing people and teams and destroying the cultures that foster excellence.

Lead from within: I hope each one of you gets to experience a good leader and follow their lead. And if you have to be exposed to poor leadership, I hope you can learn from it as a negative example.

 

#1 N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post How to Tell Who Will Be A Good Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

What is Good Advice for a New Leader

Taking the first steps into any profession is an exciting transition, and that’s certainly true when you’re starting out in leadership. You’ve worked hard to advance in your career, and in turn you’ve been rewarded with a leadership position.

But in a sense, that’s where you stop. Where you served yourself when you were working to advance your career, now as a leader you’re called to serve others. In my coaching I’ve seen many new leaders struggle because they were making their leadership about them, their new role and their power. Here’s my advice for steering clear of that trap and making sure your first days in leadership for a foundation for lifelong success:

Avoid power trips. Remember that you are where you are for a reason, and that reason is not you. You’re here to make the lives of other people better, so forgo the power trips and give everyone a reason to turn up every day and work hard. Don’t show what you can do; show that you care.

Stay visible and accessible. Don’t hide behind closed doors working on new strategies and procedures. Don’t eliminate all the existing processes and destroy old systems—at least not right away. Walk around, get to know people and give them a chance to know you. Ask questions and listen. In the process you’ll learn new things, you’ll better understand your most important resource—your people—and you’ll let them know how much you value them.

Increase your emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the ability to discriminate between emotions, label them accurately and understand them. Using emotional intelligence to guide your thinking and behavior can greatly benefit anyone in leadership. Every workplace, especially during times of transition, experiences times when emotions run high. And your response in those moments—whether you bring chaos or calm—makes a big difference in the success of your team and your leadership.

Manage up; lead down and across. New leaders understandably tend to focus on leading their direct reports. But it’s at least as important to manage up (the board, senior leadership, investors) and lead laterally (your peers, your own leadership team). Keep your leadership visible from every direction.

Balance confidence with humility. Leadership is tougher than many people realize. While you have every right to feel confident—after all, you reached the position you’re holding for a reason— don’t fool yourself: Leadership isn’t supposed to be easy, and if you show some humility it will go a long way.

There will be plenty of time to set strategies, change work charts, hand out new roles and provide new goals. but first you must do the things that will earn you the respect you need in your role as a leader. And that comes from serving, not from being served.

Lead from within: New leaders always have an opportunity to start out well—they just need to follow the advice of those who have already become great leaders.

 

#1 N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post What is Good Advice for a New Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

How to Easily Spot Leadership Qualities in Others

Something I’m often asked is how you can spot someone with leadership potential. In my decades of leadership coaching, where I’ve worked with people from top corporate leaders to those just beginning to aspire to leadership, I’ve found there are certain qualities that get people noticed and attract others to their point of view. They don’t necessarily mean that person will become a great leader, but they indicate the potential is there.

These leadership traits are all fairly easy to spot, even from a distance. Here are the most important:

High performance. Potential leaders consistently go above and beyond, whether they’re delivering specific results or working to move an organization forward. And they do it quietly and unobtrusively, in a manner that doesn’t suggest that they’re marketing themselves. It’s clear to all that they’re working primarily for the good of their team and organization.

High potential. Potential leaders don’t stop at doing what they have to do—they’re constantly seeking out new responsibilities and learning new skills. They’re the ones who are always asking “How can I help?” and helping find the answers to everyone’s questions.

High influence. You know the people you seek out instinctively to see what they think or how they would handle something? Those are people with influence, people marked for leadership. They may be anywhere within an organization—across, down or up from you—but their personality makes you feel safe in going to them and reassures you that they’ll be there for you.

High values. People with high values are easy to spot, especially when a difficult situation arises. They unthinkingly do what is right, not what is easy, and they’re willing to do whatever it takes to find a solution with integrity. Their values hold them to a cause greater than themselves, and that connection is visible in everything they do.

High optimism. Even in great organizations, it’s easy for pessimism and fatalism to flourish in the ranks. So when you find someone who views everything through a positive lens and is constantly striving to bring about the better future they envision, you know that person has great leadership qualities—especially if their positivity and resiliency are contagious.

If you’re looking for a rising leader in your organization, look for someone who’s working to make a difference with their performance, their potential, their influence, their values and their optimism. And if you want to be a known as a leader, work to cultivate those qualities within yourself.

Lead from within: If you want to spot a leader easily, don’t look for someone who’s telling you what to do. Instead, look for someone who’s showing you how it can be done, inspiring all the way.

 

#1  N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: istockphoto

The post How to Easily Spot Leadership Qualities in Others appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

What Happens When Standing Out Is Not Enough Anymore

For years, I have been telling rising leaders that the best way to achieve greatness is to stand out from the rest. But these days, standing out is becoming harder and harder to achieve, because everyone is working to stand out and go the extra mile. It’s becoming a real challenge to distinguish yourself from the rest, but there are still some things you can do to rise above the pack. Here are some principles to live by in a world where everyone is trying to be impressive:

Don’t wait for permission. Many people wait for someone else to identify them as a leader before they take action or feel they have the right to shine. Don’t wait for validation from anyone else—give yourself permission to take the first step forward and claim your spot.

Perform with excellence. Lots of people are churning out lots of work, but surprisingly little of that work is better than mediocre. We seem to be in an age when quantity is considered more important than quality, but that makes it even more important that you go against the tide. Make sure that everything you do is done with excellence and you will stand apart from others in the best way.

Stop marketing yourself. So many people feel they have to sell themselves, brand themselves and market themselves, but what you really need to do is let your words and actions speak for themselves. Let your authentic self be the thing that distinguishes you from others; the more real and unforced you are, the more relatable you will be and the more people will be drawn to you.

Give attention and help before you seek them out for yourself. With everyone around you working so hard to be noticed, you can set yourself apart by giving before you get. Adopt a philosophy of helping others without any expectation of getting anything back. It’s not only a powerful strategy to differentiate yourself from others—it also means that when you need a favor, you’re likely to be well received.

Always let character lead the way. When others are being rewarded for results, work to become a person who is also known for their character. At the end of the day, results matter but character matters more. Character will always have you doing what is right, and doing what is right is more important what doing what’s easy or what will earn you praise.

We’re living in a time when everyone wants to be known as a superstar, everyone is working to put in longer hours and everyone wants to be the most connected and available. But none of that will truly make you stand out—if for no other reason, then because everyone else is doing it too.

Instead, work to lead with dignity, respect, excellence, authenticity and character. Model the essence of an above-average human being and you will be noticed among the many.

Lead from within: If you want to distinguish yourself, go back to the basics—the fundamentals of what makes us good human beings.

 

#1  N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: istockphoto

The post What Happens When Standing Out Is Not Enough Anymore appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

Is Your Leader Really as Bad As You Think

As with anything else in the world, there are good leaders and bad leaders. If you’ve experienced a really good leader, be thankful. And if you’ve ever worked with a horrible leader, you know what a miserable experience that is.

If you’re in that situation now, though, consider the possibility that your leader isn’t as awful as you think. Maybe, just maybe, the person who needs to make some adjustments is you. Ask yourself truthfully if any of these descriptions sound like you:

You tend to view the glass as half empty. Most of us like to think of ourselves as realists, but it’s possible that you’re looking at the world through a pessimistic or defeatist lens, coloring your perspective and even your outcomes. Maybe your leader isn’t the problem—or at least not the whole problem.

You struggle with delegating. If you find yourself controlling or monitoring everything that everyone around you is doing, watching and commenting and picking apart the work of others, and struggling to delegate even when your boss tells you that you need to, you have a problem with micromanagement. Giving other people room to work without looking over their shoulder will improve your relationship with your boss—and with everyone else on your team.

You keep stepping on toes. Overstepping is right next door to micromanagement, but it takes the form of doing tasks that fall completely outside your area of responsibility. When you overstep, you show a profound lack of faith in those around you, and ultimately in the leader who made the assignments. Your boss and others will be happier if you stay in your lane.

You have all the answers and rarely ask questions. People who think they have all the answers don’t feel the need to ask questions. But if you don’t ask questions, you have no way of knowing if your answer is the best possible or if it’s completely inaccurate. If you aren’t seeking out as much information as you can to solve an issue, you’re part of the problem.

You isolate yourself. There are times at work when you want to isolate yourself. You might have an urgent project or some work that requires intense concentration. And if you’re an introvert, you may work best alone. Isolation is a different matter. Refusing to engage with those around you leads to lost productivity and damaged relationships. Ask yourself if you should be more engaging and inclusive with your team

If you suspect you’re guilty of any of these behaviors, know that you’re playing a major role in your own unhappiness. Instead of pointing fingers at your boss, change your own direction before you do lasting harm to your mental health or career success.

Lead from within: Whether you’re a leader, manager, boss or person who aspires to become one, there is a lot you have to do to hone your craft. Don’t be one of those people who point fingers at others, because your leader might not be as horrible as you think.

#1  N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post Is Your Leader Really as Bad As You Think appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

How to Control Your Emotions During a Difficult Conversation

For most of us, just the thought of a difficult conversation causes anxiety and frustration. But there are times they need to happen, and as with most difficult things, it’s good to go in with a plan.

One of the biggest issues people face in these moments is dealing with a rush of emotions. The part of the brain that perceives a threat triggers a fight-or-flight response that doesn’t leave much room for rational thought. And before you know it, you find yourself in a conversation that’s on the wrong track. Here are some of the ways top leaders maintain their presence of mind even during the most tension-filled discussions:

Be aware of your body. It’s not just the mind but also the body that responds to a perceived threat. If your heart’s racing, your first job is to calm your body. Standing up and walking around helps to activate the thinking part of your brain.

Learn to anchor yourself. When you’re struggling internally it’s easy to miss out on some of what’s being said, and in a difficult conversation you don’t want to miss a word. A simple anchoring exercise can help. Place your feet firmly on the ground and notice how the floor feels on the bottom of your shoes. This simple technique can help you stay literally grounded and keep your focus.

Label the emotion. When it feels like a swirl of emotions is coming at you quickly, distance yourself by labeling what you’re feeling. Labeling allows you to see your thoughts and feelings for what they are and put space between yourself and your emotions.

Don’t allow transference to occur. If you’re dealing with someone with a volatile personality, it’s important not to let their emotional dysfunction transfer onto you. If they’re angry, be a witness to their anger—don’t take it on.

Listen to understand. A leader listens to learn something new. The single most important way to foster that kind of listening is to shift your internal response from “I understand” to “Help me understand.” Everything else will follow from that.

Make time to process. In the heat of a difficult conversation, most of us have said things we later regret. Let the person who is venting have their say. Don’t react with blame or excuses or rejoinders. Instead, slow down the process by responding, “It’s important that I understand what you just said, so I’m going to take time to digest it all and I will get back to you soon.” Giving yourself time to process your emotions will help make your feelings less intense.

Let’s face it: difficult conversations are the norm, especially between people at work. But how you react to the circumstances and content of the conversation is what makes the difference between a good leader and a great leader.

Lead from within: Human interactions are complex, but by simply taking responsibility for our own behavior,  we can gain at least some influence over the problem.

#1 N A T I O N A L  B E S T S E L L E R


The Leadership Gap

What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

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Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

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