Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 45

10 Sticky Notes We Need to Read Every Morning for the Rest of the Year

Where you ultimately end up is greatly dependent on your daily attitude and response.

This morning one of our clients, Monica — a recovering victim of a fairly recent and debilitating car accident — was smiling from ear to ear the minute our FaceTime coaching session began. “What has you in such good spirits today?” I asked her. “I’m thinking better about things… about how lucky I am to be alive,” she replied. “I thought the injuries I sustained in that accident earlier this year signified the end of life as I know it, but now I realize they signify the beginning.”

All details aside, Monica decided to begin again, in her mind first and then in her life. It’s taken her several months of healing and practice, but she has gradually let go of the “shoulda, woulda, coulda” attachments in her head about her circumstances. And she has stepped forward with grace, determination, and a healthy mindset.

Let’s follow Monica’s lead and practice thinking better as we move through the final quarter of the year, so we can begin to build momentum, together, as we head toward the New Year… (more…)

4 Daily Habits that Keep Holding the Best of Us Back

You ultimately become what you habitually do. If your daily habits aren’t moving you forward, they’re holding you back. Here are four common and widespread examples of the latter, and how to let these bad habits go so you can make the best of the days ahead:

1. We weigh ourselves down with unhelpful and stressful thoughts.

Twenty years ago, when Marc and I were just undergrads in college, our psychology professor taught us a lesson we’ve never forgotten. On the last day of class before graduation, she walked up on stage to teach one final lesson, which she called “a vital lesson on the power of (more…)

20 Essential Things to Start Doing for Your Happiness (Before the End of the Year)

The happiness of your life greatly depends on the quality of your daily actions.

As we move through the final quarter of the year, remind yourself that it takes roughly 66 days to form a habit on average. So for the next nine weeks, consciously leverage the actionable reminders below to look at the bright side of your life, and you will gradually rewire your brain as we transition from this year into the next…

1. Start steadying yourself with simple rituals.

When life feels like an emotional roller coaster, (more…)

7 Things You Should Stop Expecting from Other People

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
— Bruce Lee

The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others. So don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your expectations of others is the best way to avoid being regretfully disappointed by them.

Which means it’s time to…

1. Stop expecting them to agree with you.

You deserve to be happy in your own way. You deserve to (more…)

3 Fundamental Mistakes that Often Drain 90 Percent of Our Potential in Life

A mistake is a lesson, not a loss. It’s a temporary, necessary detour, not a dead end, as long as we learn from it.

As human beings we often make the same fundamental mistakes over and over again. For example, deep down we know it’s smart to take it one step at a time, to maintain good daily habits, and to seek out healthy, supportive environments. Yet we often do the exact opposite when times get stressful and we’re under pressure.

Yes, we do the wrong things even though we know better because the human mind has weaknesses. It becomes forgetful and insensible sometimes. And the only way to conquer these weaknesses is to practice conquering them. So today, let’s practice strengthening our minds by discussing three super-common mistakes Angel and I have seen plaguing dozens of our coaching clients, course students, and conference attendees over the past 15 years — some things many of us do daily that drain nearly all of our potential… (more…)

20 Things to Start Doing in Your Relationships (Before it’s Too Late)

In the end, more than almost anything else, we regret the special relationships we neglected too often.

Family isn’t always blood. They’re the people in your life who appreciate having you in theirs — the ones who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways, and who not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be. These people — your real family — are the ones who truly matter.

Here are twenty timeless tips to help you find and foster these special relationships, before it’s too late:

1. Free yourself from negative company.

Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and open-minded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you — people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it. Life is too short to continuously spend time with people who (more…)

8 Things You Will Regret Not Letting Go of Sooner

Oftentimes you don’t even realize you’re blocking your own present blessings by holding on to everything so tightly.

Closing the door, completing the chapter, turning the page, etc. It doesn’t matter what you title it; what matters is that you find the strength to leave behind those former parts of your life that are over, and those lavish ideals in your mind that simply aren’t meant to be.

Throughout the past decade, as Angel and I have gradually worked with hundreds of our course students, coaching clients, and live event attendees, we’ve come to understand that the root cause of most human stress is our stubborn propensity to hold on to things long after it’s time to let go. In a nutshell, we hold on tight to the hope that things will go exactly as we imagine, and then we complicate our lives to no end when they don’t.

So let’s take a look at some super-common things we often and regretfully hold on to until the bitter end… (more…)

9 Mindful Ways to Remain Calm When Others Are Out of Control

You can’t calm the storm. What you can do is calm yourself, and the storm will gradually pass.

Over the past decade, there’s a way of being I’ve gradually been cultivating in myself — I’ve been taming my tendency to get riled up and argue with people when their behavior doesn’t match my expectations.

As human beings we all have an idea in our heads about how things are supposed to be, and sadly this is what often messes us up the most. We get frustrated when things don’t play out the way we expect them to, and when people don’t behave like they’re “supposed” to. We expect our family to act a certain way, our friends to always be kind, and strangers to be less difficult.

And when reality hits us, and everyone seems to be doing the opposite of what we expect them to do, we get triggered — anger, frustration, stress, arguments, tears, etc.

If you can relate in any way at all right now, it’s to to remind yourself (more…)

10 Painfully Clear Truths You Forget About Yourself All Too Often

You won’t always be a priority to others, and that’s why you need to be a priority to yourself. Practice respecting yourself, caring for yourself, and becoming a reliable part of your own support system.

When it comes to the importance of self-respect and self-care, there’s a lot to say. But let’s lighten the mood first by beginning with this:

A puppy thinks: “Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a warm, dry home, pet me, and take good care of me…

… THEY MUST BE GODS!”

A kitten thinks: “Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a warm, dry home, pet me, and take good care of me…

… I MUST BE A GOD!”

Same situation, different thinking.

To a great extent, we make our life stories by (more…)

10 Daily Life Choices You Will Regret in 10 Years (and Maybe Even Sooner)

In the end, more than anything else, we regret the little things we wish we’d done differently.

“If only…” These two words paired together create one of the saddest phrases in the English language.

Here are ten life choices that ultimately lead to that phrase of regret, and how to elude them on the average day:

1. Wearing a mask to impress others.

If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it. Because when you spend too much time concentrating on (more…)