Jaycee Edward's Blog, page 4
October 2, 2014
It's Ohio - not Siberia.
It's a gorgeous day here today. The local weather girl says it's the last one for awhile - gonna' rain - so hubby and I decided to take a drive down to Amish Country and grab some cider. It's the only place you can get unpasteurized cider. Anyway, we stop to eat at one of those Amish Kitchen Cooking places and the lady in line in front of us is decked out in fur-lined boots, pink corduroys, a pink/white striped heavy sweater with a fur hood.
The boots are what first caught my eye. Most of us that live here in NE Ohio are still wearing sandals. Especially on a beautiful fall day like today. (I'd even thought about wearing shorts) So as we inch forward in line, I glean that she is here visiting the other girl she's with. Turns out she's from Florida. This made the boots and the rest of her outfit even funnier. I guess she thought she'd be visiting the arctic when she came to Ohio in early October. It's so funny to me to see how the rest of the world views our weather. I guess if everyone knew how many gorgeous days we have, they'd all want to live here, so maybe it's best to let everyone think it snows all year. O..H..
July 22, 2014
As A Writer...
"As a writer...."
That's a quote from my favorite You Tube video: "Sh*t First Time Authors Say" by Edmond Manning. If you haven't seen it, it's hysterical. Go watch it now. I'll wait...
*files nails, checks email...*
Are you back? Funny, isn't it? I've laughed at that - I can't tell you how many times. My BOF (Best Online Friend) Helena Stone and I have chuckled over it as we discussed whether or not we can even consider ourselves writers. She told me whenever she tells someone she's a writer, she adds, "kinda" afterwards. She and I have a lot in common. So much that it's scary sometimes.
One of our favorite authors is Tiffany Reisz. She wrote The Original Sinners series that Helena and I both adore. Someone on Twitter asked Tiffany what the difference was between a writer and an author. She said, in her opinion, a writer is anyone who writes and an author is someone who's had their work published. Helena and I have both kept that in mind as we try to convince ourselves that we're writers...kinda'.
Helena and I met on Twitter while following the Original Sinners role players. She's the one that told me about NaNoWriMo and we decided to do it together - each working on our own novel. We struggled and learned together daily - you know - misery loves company. After spending the entire month of November "together", we desperately wanted to meet, but since I live in the U.S. and she lives in Ireland, Skype was the only affordable option.
We were both nervous as could be that first time. We're both introverts. We set a day to do it. The night before, we both confessed we probably wouldn't know what to say to each other. We agreed if it was too uncomfortable, we'd just end the session and go back to conversing through chat. (Good Lord...I even fixed my hair and put on make-up that first time, which cracks me up now, because she and her husband, Dermot, have seen me at my worst pretty much every time since then.)
Our Skype session connected and the moment we saw each other - that was it. It was huge grins and love at first sight and we never stopped talking! She and Dermot "met" my hubby and I "met" Dermot's mom and dad when they came to visit. It was just a blast! We discussed how cool it would be to try and write together sometime - then we decided to just try it right then.
I opened a Google doc and wrote the first line. Helena wrote the second. No plan or story idea or anything. By that evening, we were both totally psyched about what we had written. She said, "Jaycee, I think we have the beginnings of a book here!" We Skyped everyday - my husband waking me up early - well, early for me - to tell me what time it was in Ireland so I'd get my butt out of bed. We overcame time differences and temperamental internet connections and, seven days later, we had a novella entitled, "Strangers In The Night". A few weeks ago, we got up the nerve to submit it. We Skyped and virtually held hands as we clicked, "SEND".
Fast forward to today.
I slept in. Don't judge. I'm retired. I can do that. After grabbing my coffee, I logged onto Facebook to see a string of PMs from Helena:
Where are you?
Why aren't you up yet?
Why aren't you screaming in SHOUTY CAPS?
Have you checked your email?
I can't stand this!
I'm taking the dog for a walk and I'll be back in 40 minutes. I hope you're up by then.
Where are you????
Did you see the email from Dreamspinner?
WE'RE GOING TO BE PUBLISHED!!!!
Now, since the moment we submitted our manuscript, I have faithfully checked both of my email accounts daily, holding my breath as I scrolled through them, but finding out this way was the best way ever. I grinned from ear to ear. Hearing it from my BOF made it even more special.
So, now I can say this with a little more confidence: *clears throat* "As a writer..."
No, wait...
As an author...
June 18, 2014
Three weeks!
I just passed the 3-week mark!!
I still miss it. I still wanna' smoke really, really bad, but I haven't. Not even one puff. I actually called my neighbor yesterday and begged her to come outside and smoke around me so I could see if I could handle it. And I did! I'm obviously not to the point of other ex-smokers. It certainly didn't smell disgusting to me. Quite the opposite. But it didn't make me act like Edward Cullen and run for the house like it did a few weeks ago. I don't wanna' say I got this, but, looking back at how I felt on Day 1, I definitely think I CAN. Whether or not, I DO is entirely up to me at this point.
In those first few days...it was YOU guys that kept me from caving in. My first post asked for a pat on the back and almost instantly, I got this graphic from Kathy Kyle Mcfarland. It made me laugh when I didn't feel like laughing.
Not long after, Edmond Manning sent me this pic of Huggstibles.
I know I showed you those before, but sometimes it's the little things. Those two pics live in the very bottom right corner of my desktop now. I make sure they are never covered by another window. They may not seem like much to you, but to me, they are what I draw strength from when I feel that I'm on the edge.
Someday I might delete them. More likely, I'll move them to some virtual folder, created for things that I no longer want to see cluttering my desktop but that I'm just not ready to delete forever because the very first time I saw them they moved me in some profound way. For now, though, they are still there in case I need them.
There are so many of you that offered me support in the first few days and continue to do so. Round about Day 3 or 4, I quit posting about it every hour on the hour. It was no longer consuming EVERY thought. Several of you PM'd me. A dozen little chat-windows asking if I was still doing 'okay'. Those have tapered off too. I know you haven't quit caring. I think you just have faith in me now and that makes me proud.
I felt bad for my neighbor yesterday. She's my former smoking buddy and she really wants to quit too. She told me she's really proud of me but my quitting makes her feel bad about herself. I get that. I remember seeing posts from high-school friends that I used to smoke with - touting their non-smoking milestones: 12 hours / 1 day / 2 days / 1 week / 1 month / 1 year, etc. I would always comment with a smiley face or "That's great!" But inside I was pissed at them. Their proud little post was making me feel like even more of a loser than I already felt for having smoked my whole life. Part of me hoped they'd fail so they'd 'come back to the dark side'. I give my neighbor credit for admitting to me that she's embarrassed to smoke in front of me now. Her first grand baby is due soon and she vowed she will never smoke around the baby or wear clothes that she has smoked in when she holds him/her.
I did that too. My grandkids never knew I smoked until 3 years ago when we all went to Disney World together for a family wedding. They were teenagers and they'd be hanging out with us; there'd be no way to hide it. That's saying a lot, considering they lived right across the street from us for the first half of their lives. It's also why I never had them spend the night with us or take trips with us. In hindsight, I regret that more than anything.
My neighbor told me that she is going to quit and the baby is her motivation. She also said when she does, NO ONE will know for the first year - except me - she'll tell me. She said she will still come outside and make her family think she's taking smoke-breaks because she doesn't want them monitoring her. I totally get that too. I told her that at first I didn't tell any "real people" - not even my husband. I told her about you guys. I told her about how I never could have done this without all of you. She's not online in any capacity, so she won't have that virtual lifeline.
Hopefully she'll do it sooner, rather than later, because I miss her. I don't know where she's going to smoke now - probably in the garage or something, which no doubt makes her hate herself even worse. I know she's avoiding me. Partly because she doesn't want me to smell the smoke, but mostly because I'm making her feel bad about herself. :(
I do hope when the time does come, I can be for her what you all have been for me. If I can, she's so got this.
I still miss it. I still wanna' smoke really, really bad, but I haven't. Not even one puff. I actually called my neighbor yesterday and begged her to come outside and smoke around me so I could see if I could handle it. And I did! I'm obviously not to the point of other ex-smokers. It certainly didn't smell disgusting to me. Quite the opposite. But it didn't make me act like Edward Cullen and run for the house like it did a few weeks ago. I don't wanna' say I got this, but, looking back at how I felt on Day 1, I definitely think I CAN. Whether or not, I DO is entirely up to me at this point.
In those first few days...it was YOU guys that kept me from caving in. My first post asked for a pat on the back and almost instantly, I got this graphic from Kathy Kyle Mcfarland. It made me laugh when I didn't feel like laughing.
Not long after, Edmond Manning sent me this pic of Huggstibles.
I know I showed you those before, but sometimes it's the little things. Those two pics live in the very bottom right corner of my desktop now. I make sure they are never covered by another window. They may not seem like much to you, but to me, they are what I draw strength from when I feel that I'm on the edge.
Someday I might delete them. More likely, I'll move them to some virtual folder, created for things that I no longer want to see cluttering my desktop but that I'm just not ready to delete forever because the very first time I saw them they moved me in some profound way. For now, though, they are still there in case I need them.
There are so many of you that offered me support in the first few days and continue to do so. Round about Day 3 or 4, I quit posting about it every hour on the hour. It was no longer consuming EVERY thought. Several of you PM'd me. A dozen little chat-windows asking if I was still doing 'okay'. Those have tapered off too. I know you haven't quit caring. I think you just have faith in me now and that makes me proud.
I felt bad for my neighbor yesterday. She's my former smoking buddy and she really wants to quit too. She told me she's really proud of me but my quitting makes her feel bad about herself. I get that. I remember seeing posts from high-school friends that I used to smoke with - touting their non-smoking milestones: 12 hours / 1 day / 2 days / 1 week / 1 month / 1 year, etc. I would always comment with a smiley face or "That's great!" But inside I was pissed at them. Their proud little post was making me feel like even more of a loser than I already felt for having smoked my whole life. Part of me hoped they'd fail so they'd 'come back to the dark side'. I give my neighbor credit for admitting to me that she's embarrassed to smoke in front of me now. Her first grand baby is due soon and she vowed she will never smoke around the baby or wear clothes that she has smoked in when she holds him/her.
I did that too. My grandkids never knew I smoked until 3 years ago when we all went to Disney World together for a family wedding. They were teenagers and they'd be hanging out with us; there'd be no way to hide it. That's saying a lot, considering they lived right across the street from us for the first half of their lives. It's also why I never had them spend the night with us or take trips with us. In hindsight, I regret that more than anything.
My neighbor told me that she is going to quit and the baby is her motivation. She also said when she does, NO ONE will know for the first year - except me - she'll tell me. She said she will still come outside and make her family think she's taking smoke-breaks because she doesn't want them monitoring her. I totally get that too. I told her that at first I didn't tell any "real people" - not even my husband. I told her about you guys. I told her about how I never could have done this without all of you. She's not online in any capacity, so she won't have that virtual lifeline.
Hopefully she'll do it sooner, rather than later, because I miss her. I don't know where she's going to smoke now - probably in the garage or something, which no doubt makes her hate herself even worse. I know she's avoiding me. Partly because she doesn't want me to smell the smoke, but mostly because I'm making her feel bad about herself. :(
I do hope when the time does come, I can be for her what you all have been for me. If I can, she's so got this.
May 31, 2014
I'm A Quitter
I'm a quitter. At least I'm trying to be.
As many of you who are my friends on Facebook know (I can hear you groaning right now - you're no doubt sick of hearing about this) I quit smoking this past Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. I guess I shouldn't say 'I've quit' until I have more than three days under my belt, though, so I'll say instead: I haven't smoked for three days.
If you've never smoked, you have no idea how huge that is. I started smoking at a very early age and I've been smoking for almost 40 years. I didn't make a conscious decision to quit. If I'd have done that, I'd for sure have failed within a few hours. It was very non-dramtic, actually. No last cigarette to savor in some lovely surroundings. No announcement to real-life family and friends that I was doing this. I smoked before going for my yearly physical. The doctor gave me the same speech she always gives me. I don't really know what was different this time. To be honest, I had every intention of lighting up the moment I left her office. But then it hit me...I already had quit - with time under my belt - as long as I didn't light another one. Hmm. Then I wouldn't have all that anxiety of dreading "the moment" as it approached, or the profound sadness of the "last one". Maybe I could just not smoke on the way home - it's only a ten minute drive anyway.
I accomplished that and it felt good. Okay, it's only ten minutes, but still, getting in the car is a huge trigger for me and I overcame it and it really wasn't that hard. Maybe I could go like...an hour...?
I managed that too, and after a few other little self-imposed trials, I decided I could maybe do this. I'd used Nicorette when I went to Disney World for my step-daughter's wedding a few years ago. It did actually work pretty good for me, but I'd forget I was chewing it and still smoke at every DSA I ran across. (That's Designated Smoking Area, for those of you who don't smoke. It's where the really nice, cool, social outcasts hang out - I've met some awesome people at DSA's through the years. Smokers actually talk to total strangers at DSAs because we already have nicotine addiction in common - misery loves company.)
By the time I hit 4 1/2 hours, I was pretty damn proud of myself and wanting to tell someone. But I didn't want to tell my real-life family/friends because they would be all over me. And, if I fail, I'll feel even worse about myself. So, I decided to tell "Jaycee's" friends instead. It was a relatively low-risk move. I don't actually know these people, so if I cave in and smoke, they'll never know and I needed to tell someone, so I posted this:
"I've been smoke-free for five hours. That may not sound like much, but for someone who has smoked since they were 13, it's kind of a big deal. I'm not posting this on my RL page b/c those people will be up my ass and that's NOT what I need. I just need a pat on the back if I tell you I'm still smoke-free. Don't know if I can do this or not, but I'm gonna' try. Ok...feel free to pat..."
What happened next makes me tear up just thinking about it. The very first post was this little meme:
How freaking perfect is that? It made me laugh and grin ear-to-ear. I saved it to my desktop so I could draw on it when I needed. Suddenly my little status update was flooded with words and meme's of support. Even Kallypso Masters stopped by! (I had a total fangirl moment) Edmond Manning sent me this from Huggstibles (In case you don't know - I'm addicted to Huggstibles too):
That right there? I can't even tell you. I mean, it's Huggstibles and that YAYZ is just for me! Edmond wouldn't know me if I walked up and slapped him - yet he went and got Huggstibles, made that little sign, snapped a pic and posted it. Okay, it's not like he did CPR and saved my life or anything, but the whole idea of him doing that for me...
For hours, I sat here, interacting with all these wonderful people who were taking precious moments out of their day to help me. The wonderful side-effect of all this was, it kept my mind and hands busy. At 6 1/2 hrs, it started getting rough. I took my cigarettes out of my purse and put them out in my car. I wanted them out of easy reach but still available...just in case. And I posted:
"6 1/2 hrs. *whimper*"
Jaycee's friends came running. I just went and looked. That little post has 50 comments. Probably most of them are mine, but the point is, these amazing, "virtual" people kept me from smoking right then. Huggstibles showed up again and told me to go to my happy place. I did.
Smoking is more than just an addiction to nicotine. If you've ever smoked, you understand. There are just certain times that you have 'programmed' yourself to smoke: With your morning cup of coffee, getting in the car, getting out of the car, AFTER EATING, after sex, before bed. Those are typical of all smokers - then we each have our own: When I need to go outside and stretch my legs, when I need to think, when I need to not think, when I need writing inspiration, when I take the dog out... Day 1 and Day 2 consisted of huge hurdles and tiny victories overcoming those triggers.
I posted about my fear of having to go through the "evil portal" (my back door) to the deck - my DSA. That was going to be a HUGE trigger for me. I basically stayed inside all day - terrified of going out there. (I did run out briefly just to pitch the decorative thing I use as an ashtray.)
I realized I did have to overcome this fear of the "portal", so I needed to find some other habit to associate with being on the deck. Reading would work - at least in this nice weather. I chose Edmond's blog because it makes me laugh and I can get lost in it easily. It worked. I was able to be outside!! Yeah, I still think about lighting up the moment I step out there, but I had a way to redirect my brain. That first night I was online, thanking Edmond for Huggstibles support and telling him I was using his blog as a support tool and he graciously sent me his ebook, "I Probably Shouldn't Have Done That". The subject line on his email was, "Be The Quitter You Always Knew You Could Be." Ha.
When I didn't post, several people PM'd me asking how I was doing. I got to know some of Jaycee's friends better through these chats. I heard stories of their own attempts to quit, and success stories galore. People posted tips, like cinnamon toothpicks and Jolly Ranchers. (I'm trying not to use food though. I'm fat enough. I'm using water. It satisfies that hand-to-mouth thing that I think is half the battle.) Everyone who had successfully quit told me - don't give up - it gets better. The general consensus is, the first three days are the hardest. (As I type this, it's 10:46 a.m., so the third day is officially behind me. Yay, me!)
Yesterday my next-door neighbor (aka: smoking buddy) came outside to smoke and I could smell it and ohhhh, my god... I literally RAN into the house. My husband said eventually it will start smelling awful to me. God, I hope so, because I felt like Edward, trying to escape Bella and her scent.
Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I think I already feel better. I think my skin looks better - probably all that water. On the downside, I've noticed that it's hard as hell for me to focus. You can probably tell by reading this. It's all over the place. Jesus, I feel like I have ADD - but it's not shiny things that are distracting me. It's like every 10 minutes, I think about smoking. I wonder if this is what it's like to be a guy? They say men think about sex every 10 minutes. That must suck. Seriously. If this is what it's like, I feel bad for all you guys out there. How do you get anything accomplished? But I digress...
The point of all this is, I realized that Jaycee, this virtual side of me, has her very own little virtual family and I'm now more worried about letting them down than I would have been my "real" friends and family. Not that any of you would ever know if I smoked. I'm home alone right now. My husband just went to pick up some fenders for a car we're having restored. He'll be gone for several hours. I could smoke and no one would know. I want to. Trust me. But, more than that, I don't want your efforts to have been in vain.
If I do become the quitter I want to be, it will be because of you - you funny, kind, compassionate, colorful people that gave of yourselves for someone you don't even know.
As many of you who are my friends on Facebook know (I can hear you groaning right now - you're no doubt sick of hearing about this) I quit smoking this past Wednesday at 10:30 a.m. I guess I shouldn't say 'I've quit' until I have more than three days under my belt, though, so I'll say instead: I haven't smoked for three days.
If you've never smoked, you have no idea how huge that is. I started smoking at a very early age and I've been smoking for almost 40 years. I didn't make a conscious decision to quit. If I'd have done that, I'd for sure have failed within a few hours. It was very non-dramtic, actually. No last cigarette to savor in some lovely surroundings. No announcement to real-life family and friends that I was doing this. I smoked before going for my yearly physical. The doctor gave me the same speech she always gives me. I don't really know what was different this time. To be honest, I had every intention of lighting up the moment I left her office. But then it hit me...I already had quit - with time under my belt - as long as I didn't light another one. Hmm. Then I wouldn't have all that anxiety of dreading "the moment" as it approached, or the profound sadness of the "last one". Maybe I could just not smoke on the way home - it's only a ten minute drive anyway.
I accomplished that and it felt good. Okay, it's only ten minutes, but still, getting in the car is a huge trigger for me and I overcame it and it really wasn't that hard. Maybe I could go like...an hour...?
I managed that too, and after a few other little self-imposed trials, I decided I could maybe do this. I'd used Nicorette when I went to Disney World for my step-daughter's wedding a few years ago. It did actually work pretty good for me, but I'd forget I was chewing it and still smoke at every DSA I ran across. (That's Designated Smoking Area, for those of you who don't smoke. It's where the really nice, cool, social outcasts hang out - I've met some awesome people at DSA's through the years. Smokers actually talk to total strangers at DSAs because we already have nicotine addiction in common - misery loves company.)
By the time I hit 4 1/2 hours, I was pretty damn proud of myself and wanting to tell someone. But I didn't want to tell my real-life family/friends because they would be all over me. And, if I fail, I'll feel even worse about myself. So, I decided to tell "Jaycee's" friends instead. It was a relatively low-risk move. I don't actually know these people, so if I cave in and smoke, they'll never know and I needed to tell someone, so I posted this:
"I've been smoke-free for five hours. That may not sound like much, but for someone who has smoked since they were 13, it's kind of a big deal. I'm not posting this on my RL page b/c those people will be up my ass and that's NOT what I need. I just need a pat on the back if I tell you I'm still smoke-free. Don't know if I can do this or not, but I'm gonna' try. Ok...feel free to pat..."
What happened next makes me tear up just thinking about it. The very first post was this little meme:
How freaking perfect is that? It made me laugh and grin ear-to-ear. I saved it to my desktop so I could draw on it when I needed. Suddenly my little status update was flooded with words and meme's of support. Even Kallypso Masters stopped by! (I had a total fangirl moment) Edmond Manning sent me this from Huggstibles (In case you don't know - I'm addicted to Huggstibles too):
That right there? I can't even tell you. I mean, it's Huggstibles and that YAYZ is just for me! Edmond wouldn't know me if I walked up and slapped him - yet he went and got Huggstibles, made that little sign, snapped a pic and posted it. Okay, it's not like he did CPR and saved my life or anything, but the whole idea of him doing that for me...
For hours, I sat here, interacting with all these wonderful people who were taking precious moments out of their day to help me. The wonderful side-effect of all this was, it kept my mind and hands busy. At 6 1/2 hrs, it started getting rough. I took my cigarettes out of my purse and put them out in my car. I wanted them out of easy reach but still available...just in case. And I posted:
"6 1/2 hrs. *whimper*"
Jaycee's friends came running. I just went and looked. That little post has 50 comments. Probably most of them are mine, but the point is, these amazing, "virtual" people kept me from smoking right then. Huggstibles showed up again and told me to go to my happy place. I did.
Smoking is more than just an addiction to nicotine. If you've ever smoked, you understand. There are just certain times that you have 'programmed' yourself to smoke: With your morning cup of coffee, getting in the car, getting out of the car, AFTER EATING, after sex, before bed. Those are typical of all smokers - then we each have our own: When I need to go outside and stretch my legs, when I need to think, when I need to not think, when I need writing inspiration, when I take the dog out... Day 1 and Day 2 consisted of huge hurdles and tiny victories overcoming those triggers.
I posted about my fear of having to go through the "evil portal" (my back door) to the deck - my DSA. That was going to be a HUGE trigger for me. I basically stayed inside all day - terrified of going out there. (I did run out briefly just to pitch the decorative thing I use as an ashtray.)
I realized I did have to overcome this fear of the "portal", so I needed to find some other habit to associate with being on the deck. Reading would work - at least in this nice weather. I chose Edmond's blog because it makes me laugh and I can get lost in it easily. It worked. I was able to be outside!! Yeah, I still think about lighting up the moment I step out there, but I had a way to redirect my brain. That first night I was online, thanking Edmond for Huggstibles support and telling him I was using his blog as a support tool and he graciously sent me his ebook, "I Probably Shouldn't Have Done That". The subject line on his email was, "Be The Quitter You Always Knew You Could Be." Ha.
When I didn't post, several people PM'd me asking how I was doing. I got to know some of Jaycee's friends better through these chats. I heard stories of their own attempts to quit, and success stories galore. People posted tips, like cinnamon toothpicks and Jolly Ranchers. (I'm trying not to use food though. I'm fat enough. I'm using water. It satisfies that hand-to-mouth thing that I think is half the battle.) Everyone who had successfully quit told me - don't give up - it gets better. The general consensus is, the first three days are the hardest. (As I type this, it's 10:46 a.m., so the third day is officially behind me. Yay, me!)
Yesterday my next-door neighbor (aka: smoking buddy) came outside to smoke and I could smell it and ohhhh, my god... I literally RAN into the house. My husband said eventually it will start smelling awful to me. God, I hope so, because I felt like Edward, trying to escape Bella and her scent.
Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I think I already feel better. I think my skin looks better - probably all that water. On the downside, I've noticed that it's hard as hell for me to focus. You can probably tell by reading this. It's all over the place. Jesus, I feel like I have ADD - but it's not shiny things that are distracting me. It's like every 10 minutes, I think about smoking. I wonder if this is what it's like to be a guy? They say men think about sex every 10 minutes. That must suck. Seriously. If this is what it's like, I feel bad for all you guys out there. How do you get anything accomplished? But I digress...
The point of all this is, I realized that Jaycee, this virtual side of me, has her very own little virtual family and I'm now more worried about letting them down than I would have been my "real" friends and family. Not that any of you would ever know if I smoked. I'm home alone right now. My husband just went to pick up some fenders for a car we're having restored. He'll be gone for several hours. I could smoke and no one would know. I want to. Trust me. But, more than that, I don't want your efforts to have been in vain.
If I do become the quitter I want to be, it will be because of you - you funny, kind, compassionate, colorful people that gave of yourselves for someone you don't even know.
May 25, 2014
Wolf Bound
I'm not a book reviewer and this is not a book blog, but I just have to do a little raving about Theo Fenraven's newest release.
First of all, I was beyond thrilled when Theo asked if I would be willing to beta the book for him. Uh...hells yeah!!! I mean, that's a no-brainer, right? More than thrilled though, I was totally honored. Then I had to admit to him, I really had no clue how to beta "professionally". He was patient with me and I actually had a lot of fun interacting with him as he went through my notes. I guess I did okay because I even got a mention in the dedication, which is the first time that's ever happened to me. There was a lot of squee-ing going on last night when I saw my name in print - ha!
I hate to say I don’t read paranormal/shifter stories - especially since my most recent addiction to reading was sparked by a somewhat unhealthy obsession over the Twilight series. Let’s just say, I’ve moved on and they no longer hold the same allure for me they once did. And, besides, I was never Team Jacob. So, when Theo said he was writing a shifter story, I’ll admit – I was a tad disappointed.
Then he posted the cover reveal and I was instantly intrigued. Theo Fenraven is not only a talented author, but he creates some of the most gorgeous covers I’ve ever seen. I was now drooling and slavering for this book.
Any disappointment I might have felt before, vanished the moment the wolf howled. I was hooked with no possibility to escape. I was reading this sucker until the end and not putting it down. From the early reviews I’ve seen, others of you are devouring it just as quickly. It’s only been released for a few hours and already I’m seeing rave reviews.
I’ve said this before, but unless you read Theo’s words for yourself, you won’t understand, but his fans will know exactly what I’m trying to say here. Theo writes such clean, smooth, beautiful prose that it’s not even like reading. You are there– in the moment with his characters. You feel with them, you see what they are seeing. No long, boring descriptions from Theo… ever. The scenes are painted for you stroke-by-stroke, word-by-word and it’s effortless.
While most paranormal stories require a certain amount of ‘world building’ and imagination on the reader’s part, Wolf Bound requires none. I was immediately in Jon’s world because it’s the exact same world I live in. I never had to suspend my grasp on reality to put myself in the story. I was on the edge of my seat until the end and I fully believed, while reading, it was entirely possible that one of my neighbors could be a werewolf.
There are lines that made me laugh out loud. I won’t share them because I don’t want to spoil anything about this book for you. Suffice it to say, I still remember them and that’s saying a lot. Several times I got goose-bumps and at one point, I literally gasped so loud my husband came to see what happened.
The romance between Jon and Harrison is natural, believable and tastefully done. No Tab A / Slot B. This is another thing that makes Theo’s works stand out from the crowd. His stories are never about the sex, although sex always plays a major part. With every book of his I’ve read so far, the fact that the main character(s) are gay is never the root of the story. It’s almost an afterthought. They could be straight (or crooked, or whatever…) and it wouldn’t change the story in the slightest. This is probably why I love reading his work - because it’s how I want the world to be.
Part of me wants every one of you to discover Theo’s wonderful words and part of me wants to keep him to ourselves – those few of us who “know”. Other Fenraven fans will get this too. But in the end, I guess the only way to change the world is to let other people read his words and see that being gay shouldn’t be any different than having blond hair and green eyes – it doesn’t change the story.
Theo, if you’re listening, I would love to see a sequel to Wolf Bound. I’m not quite ready to let go of Jon and Harrison and I’m rabid to know what the future holds in store for them!
May 8, 2014
Be The Change
I don't blog much. Hardly ever, actually. But something amazing happened last night and I want to shout it from the highest mountaintops.
Yesterday was the third anniversary of Tom Bridegroom's death. His partner, Shane Bitney Crone asked that, in Tom's memory, we have a Bridegroom viewing party. While that sounds like an awesome idea, in real life, I'm relatively certain, no one would show up. Most of my family and real life friends say they are open-minded about LGBT issues, but, and I quote, "(I'm) tired of having it shoved down (my) throat". So, yeah, a Bridegroom viewing party at my house would be an epic fail. So, I decided, if nothing else, in honor of Tom's memory and Shane's commitment, I would at least find time to watch it by myself.
Early in the morning, my hubby was having computer issues. He has a PC running Vista. I've retained enough geek that I was able to spend a few hours and get it fixed and cleaned up and running really smoothly. He was tickled and told me he'd treat me to a nice dinner. Now, I've been a wife a long time. I know an opportunity when I see one. I told him that's not what I wanted. I wanted him to watch a movie with me and promise to keep an open mind. That's all.
A little background on my husband here. He's eighteen years older than me. That's never really been an issue because I'm kind of an old soul and he acts much younger than his biological age. He still sees himself as cool in a kind of James Dean way. So, on most things, we meet in the middle and it works. The only issues we have are when it comes to music and social issues. He is very old school when it comes to LGBT especially. Whenever two men or women kiss on a TV show, I can expect to hear spitting noises coming from his side of the room. "Sick! That's disgusting! Why do they have to put that on TV?" Needless to say, he's been befuddled and sometimes angry about my writing M/M and posts he sees on my Facebook page. I wouldn't go as far as to say he's homophobic, because he's not "afraid" of gay people and he would never hurt anyone, but other than that, he is "that guy". The one who will never change his mind about this. Ever. Oh ... yeah, he grew up Catholic - went to a Catholic school, so add that into the mix and you pretty much can imagine the extent of his bigotry.
It took me awhile to even find the movie. I don't have Netflix. I drove all over town, searching every video story and Redbox before finally locating a copy at the local library. I came home happy. The hubby? Notsomuch. He fussed and whined a bit before finally telling me to, "Put the damn movie in and let's get this over with."
Now, honestly? I didn't really expect him to change his views. I was simply hoping that maybe, just maybe, he would soften them a bit and not be so outwardly hateful.
The movie starts, and, if you've seen it, you know; you're captivated from the very first scene. I kept stealing glances at him, but all I saw was his typical TV-watching face. The one where I can't really tell if he's awake or not. I kept asking, "Are you awake?"
In the beginning where Shane shares pictures of their love story, I can't keep from smiling. Tom and Shane were so beautiful together and their love was just so obvious. The hubby wasn't grinning, but that's okay - I didn't expect him to. At least he's still awake.
Fast forward to where Shane is talking about Tom's death and he breaks down in front of the camera. My tears are well past the point of being able to catch them. They are just rolling freely down my face and hitting my shirt. I'm sniffling every second or two. I have this thing - I don't cry in front of people. I just don't. So, I'm at the point where I need to leave the room, but just before I get up, I hear it. A sniffle from the recliner. I shoot a quick glance over and he's wiping his eyes.
You guys have NO idea how huge that is.
We watched the entire DVD - all the way through the credits to the very end. That, also, never happens. This is a man who gets up before the last ten minutes of every TV show, every movie, without fail.
I explained to him that the movie was funded by all those people whose names appear at the end. He asked if I donated. I told him I didn't, but only because I hadn't known about it. He gets irritated when I donate to things. He doesn't believe in it, so I do it quietly from my own account. He believes in helping people that need help face to face. He's distrustful of donating money. I didn't ask, but, I actually think he was disappointed when I said I hadn't donated to this movie. I then showed him Shane's original YouTube video, "It Could Happen To You."
I don't know why I was nervous to ask him his thoughts, but I was. I guess I figured if this didn't change his mind, nothing would, and I didn't want to hear that. In the end, I didn't have to ask. He begrudgingly said, "Well, that certainly opens your eyes to things you've never thought about."
I can't even tell you what I felt in that moment. Relief? Joy? I don't know. But it was something wonderful and it bloomed inside me so freaking fast. I asked what I was dying to know. "Have you changed your mind now?" Without hesitation, he said, "Yes." (Not, 'Yes, but..." Just, 'Yes.")
We went outside and talked for about an hour. We talked about how hard it must be to be gay and have to "come out" to your parents and friends. We talked about how sad it is that so many kids opt to kill themselves because society has made them feel outcast. He even made a comment similar to "love is love". He kept saying that Shane should have just attended Tom's funeral regardless of whether he was welcome or not.
We came back inside and I hopped on Facebook and immediately saw a picture posted by Theo Fenraven. It was a gorgeous b/w headshot of two men asleep, cuddled together. I laughed at the timing and my hubby looked at it and said, "I don't know if I'm ready for all that cuddling shit."
No spitting. No comment about it being "sick" or "disgusting". My heart just soared. I shared on Theo's post about his change of heart and Theo said, "That's AMAZING. Give him a hug from me." I told him and he said, "I may have changed my mind, but I'm not ready for that."
That's okay. He may never be ready for that. But the bottom line is, he didn't make a nasty comment, and that, my friends, is HUGE!
Yesterday was the third anniversary of Tom Bridegroom's death. His partner, Shane Bitney Crone asked that, in Tom's memory, we have a Bridegroom viewing party. While that sounds like an awesome idea, in real life, I'm relatively certain, no one would show up. Most of my family and real life friends say they are open-minded about LGBT issues, but, and I quote, "(I'm) tired of having it shoved down (my) throat". So, yeah, a Bridegroom viewing party at my house would be an epic fail. So, I decided, if nothing else, in honor of Tom's memory and Shane's commitment, I would at least find time to watch it by myself.
Early in the morning, my hubby was having computer issues. He has a PC running Vista. I've retained enough geek that I was able to spend a few hours and get it fixed and cleaned up and running really smoothly. He was tickled and told me he'd treat me to a nice dinner. Now, I've been a wife a long time. I know an opportunity when I see one. I told him that's not what I wanted. I wanted him to watch a movie with me and promise to keep an open mind. That's all.
A little background on my husband here. He's eighteen years older than me. That's never really been an issue because I'm kind of an old soul and he acts much younger than his biological age. He still sees himself as cool in a kind of James Dean way. So, on most things, we meet in the middle and it works. The only issues we have are when it comes to music and social issues. He is very old school when it comes to LGBT especially. Whenever two men or women kiss on a TV show, I can expect to hear spitting noises coming from his side of the room. "Sick! That's disgusting! Why do they have to put that on TV?" Needless to say, he's been befuddled and sometimes angry about my writing M/M and posts he sees on my Facebook page. I wouldn't go as far as to say he's homophobic, because he's not "afraid" of gay people and he would never hurt anyone, but other than that, he is "that guy". The one who will never change his mind about this. Ever. Oh ... yeah, he grew up Catholic - went to a Catholic school, so add that into the mix and you pretty much can imagine the extent of his bigotry.
It took me awhile to even find the movie. I don't have Netflix. I drove all over town, searching every video story and Redbox before finally locating a copy at the local library. I came home happy. The hubby? Notsomuch. He fussed and whined a bit before finally telling me to, "Put the damn movie in and let's get this over with."
Now, honestly? I didn't really expect him to change his views. I was simply hoping that maybe, just maybe, he would soften them a bit and not be so outwardly hateful.
The movie starts, and, if you've seen it, you know; you're captivated from the very first scene. I kept stealing glances at him, but all I saw was his typical TV-watching face. The one where I can't really tell if he's awake or not. I kept asking, "Are you awake?"
In the beginning where Shane shares pictures of their love story, I can't keep from smiling. Tom and Shane were so beautiful together and their love was just so obvious. The hubby wasn't grinning, but that's okay - I didn't expect him to. At least he's still awake.
Fast forward to where Shane is talking about Tom's death and he breaks down in front of the camera. My tears are well past the point of being able to catch them. They are just rolling freely down my face and hitting my shirt. I'm sniffling every second or two. I have this thing - I don't cry in front of people. I just don't. So, I'm at the point where I need to leave the room, but just before I get up, I hear it. A sniffle from the recliner. I shoot a quick glance over and he's wiping his eyes.
You guys have NO idea how huge that is.
We watched the entire DVD - all the way through the credits to the very end. That, also, never happens. This is a man who gets up before the last ten minutes of every TV show, every movie, without fail.
I explained to him that the movie was funded by all those people whose names appear at the end. He asked if I donated. I told him I didn't, but only because I hadn't known about it. He gets irritated when I donate to things. He doesn't believe in it, so I do it quietly from my own account. He believes in helping people that need help face to face. He's distrustful of donating money. I didn't ask, but, I actually think he was disappointed when I said I hadn't donated to this movie. I then showed him Shane's original YouTube video, "It Could Happen To You."
I don't know why I was nervous to ask him his thoughts, but I was. I guess I figured if this didn't change his mind, nothing would, and I didn't want to hear that. In the end, I didn't have to ask. He begrudgingly said, "Well, that certainly opens your eyes to things you've never thought about."
I can't even tell you what I felt in that moment. Relief? Joy? I don't know. But it was something wonderful and it bloomed inside me so freaking fast. I asked what I was dying to know. "Have you changed your mind now?" Without hesitation, he said, "Yes." (Not, 'Yes, but..." Just, 'Yes.")
We went outside and talked for about an hour. We talked about how hard it must be to be gay and have to "come out" to your parents and friends. We talked about how sad it is that so many kids opt to kill themselves because society has made them feel outcast. He even made a comment similar to "love is love". He kept saying that Shane should have just attended Tom's funeral regardless of whether he was welcome or not.
We came back inside and I hopped on Facebook and immediately saw a picture posted by Theo Fenraven. It was a gorgeous b/w headshot of two men asleep, cuddled together. I laughed at the timing and my hubby looked at it and said, "I don't know if I'm ready for all that cuddling shit."
No spitting. No comment about it being "sick" or "disgusting". My heart just soared. I shared on Theo's post about his change of heart and Theo said, "That's AMAZING. Give him a hug from me." I told him and he said, "I may have changed my mind, but I'm not ready for that."
That's okay. He may never be ready for that. But the bottom line is, he didn't make a nasty comment, and that, my friends, is HUGE!
November 17, 2013
It's DONE!
Oh my gosh!
I thought I had one more scene to write, but all of a sudden I looked at what I had and realized. It's done.
Exactly 31 days after I started writing, it's done! I can't even begin to explain the emotions and they are nothing I expected. I figured I would be doing the happy dance, but instead, it is very bittersweet. I feel sad that I won't be spending every day with Mason and Luke. I can't tell you how much I will miss their voices chattering to me. They have become so real to me.
I sent the finished first draft out to two beta readers and I heard back from one today. I was so incredibly scared to open her email. I was literally shaking. My husband had to drag me into the office and sit me down. He made me open it. He said, "After living without you for a month, I want to know what she said even if you don't." Ugh. Yeah. He has been living without me. For real. Without conversation. Or food. He would slice and apple and lay it on my desk everyday. Can I just say here how blessed I am to have him?
So...I clicked on the email and...she loved it!! She actually said she couldn't put it down! Squee!!! Ok...it was so flipping exciting I just have to share some of her comments:
"I just finished Stay. Thanks for asking (other beta) to pass it on because once I started reading, I couldn't stop until I finished."
"I loved it. It's the perfect mixture of angst, sexy times, romance, all of it."
"Your story is awesome and I look forward to buying a copy when it gets picked up later. I have no doubt it will because it's just everything you could want in a love story. You write like you're a seasoned pro and this is your tenth book. It's polished and the plot works and the story and character arcs are just spot on."
I'm not making this up!!! That's really what she said!!! But what made me happiest (believe it or not, something made me happier than that!) is that she "got" Mason and Luke. I think that means more to me than anything! I love them SO much and I want my readers to love them too. Here are her comments about my boys:
"Mason? Tall, dark, sexy and...::whistles:: Who wouldn't love a cowboy like him? Giddyup."
"Luke is funny and I love his thoughts as he comes to terms with his own identity."
Those two comments literally made me bawl. I want them to be as real to all of you as they are to me and I want you to love them. I think you will!
So, at the risk of sounding like Sally Field... She liked it! She really, really liked it!
I thought I had one more scene to write, but all of a sudden I looked at what I had and realized. It's done.
Exactly 31 days after I started writing, it's done! I can't even begin to explain the emotions and they are nothing I expected. I figured I would be doing the happy dance, but instead, it is very bittersweet. I feel sad that I won't be spending every day with Mason and Luke. I can't tell you how much I will miss their voices chattering to me. They have become so real to me.
I sent the finished first draft out to two beta readers and I heard back from one today. I was so incredibly scared to open her email. I was literally shaking. My husband had to drag me into the office and sit me down. He made me open it. He said, "After living without you for a month, I want to know what she said even if you don't." Ugh. Yeah. He has been living without me. For real. Without conversation. Or food. He would slice and apple and lay it on my desk everyday. Can I just say here how blessed I am to have him?
So...I clicked on the email and...she loved it!! She actually said she couldn't put it down! Squee!!! Ok...it was so flipping exciting I just have to share some of her comments:
"I just finished Stay. Thanks for asking (other beta) to pass it on because once I started reading, I couldn't stop until I finished."
"I loved it. It's the perfect mixture of angst, sexy times, romance, all of it."
"Your story is awesome and I look forward to buying a copy when it gets picked up later. I have no doubt it will because it's just everything you could want in a love story. You write like you're a seasoned pro and this is your tenth book. It's polished and the plot works and the story and character arcs are just spot on."
I'm not making this up!!! That's really what she said!!! But what made me happiest (believe it or not, something made me happier than that!) is that she "got" Mason and Luke. I think that means more to me than anything! I love them SO much and I want my readers to love them too. Here are her comments about my boys:
"Mason? Tall, dark, sexy and...::whistles:: Who wouldn't love a cowboy like him? Giddyup."
"Luke is funny and I love his thoughts as he comes to terms with his own identity."
Those two comments literally made me bawl. I want them to be as real to all of you as they are to me and I want you to love them. I think you will!
So, at the risk of sounding like Sally Field... She liked it! She really, really liked it!
November 5, 2013
NaNo Week 1
Today is day five of NaNoWriMo. I've been good! I have been disciplined and have managed to log at least 2000 words a day, which is over the expected 1600 NaNo guidelines.
Now, mind you, I actually started writing about my boys about a month ago, and had 27,000 words by the end of October.
I am totally enjoying the interaction with other writer friends that I have met on Twitter or Facebook who are doing NaNo as well. I'm actually kind of surprised at how many established authors sign up. For instance, Shoshanna Evers is one of my writing buddies! How cool is that?
I had a great Twitter friend beta my story when I was about 9000 words in. She gave me such wonderful advice and I am so glad I got up the courage to ask. One of the things we talked about was "show vs. tell" and I have been struggling with that. I understand what it means, but I don't have an easy time applying it to my writing as yet.
The best ideas are when you are in the shower, right? So, the other night I was in the shower and I thought about this whole "show vs. tell" concept. I thought about my favorite author, Tiffany Reisz and how phenomenal her writing style is. It was then that I heard the angels singing. Well, one angel, actually and his name is Michael. He is one of the main characters in Tiffany's book, The Angel, which is my all-time favorite book (read it six times as of this blog post). I thought about my very favorite scene where Michael's feelings become too much for him to bear and he runs from the room and hides in the bathroom. Nora comes to check on him and he crumples to the floor in her arms and pours out his heart to her about his feelings for Griffin. Now, mind you, this is a boy who basically doesn't speak. In the book, his diatribe is about two pages long. At the end, he whispers to Nora, "You won't tell him, will you?" and (I have chills just typing this) Griffin, who has been standing in the doorway says, "She doesn't have to."
(Shudder....) Ok. Had yours truly been writing that scene, I would have had Michael from from the room and hide in his bedroom thinking all those things about Griffin. *yawn* What a difference Tiffany's version makes. HUGE! It takes "my" boring version and turns it into something that still makes me tear up when I think about it. Tiffany showed me the anguish in Michael's heart, not just told me about it.
Ding! Ding! Ding! I get it now! I really, really get it!
So, I had to email Tiffany and give her a virtual hug and tell her, once again, how much that passage impacted my life. She sent me this reply:
"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." -Anton Chekhov
God, I love that woman! So, armed with that inspiring quote, I'm ready to tackle NaNo today with a whole new outlook. I have plastered the quote everywhere and hopefully I will actually be able to apply it much easier now than in days past. Wish me luck!
Now, mind you, I actually started writing about my boys about a month ago, and had 27,000 words by the end of October.
I am totally enjoying the interaction with other writer friends that I have met on Twitter or Facebook who are doing NaNo as well. I'm actually kind of surprised at how many established authors sign up. For instance, Shoshanna Evers is one of my writing buddies! How cool is that?
I had a great Twitter friend beta my story when I was about 9000 words in. She gave me such wonderful advice and I am so glad I got up the courage to ask. One of the things we talked about was "show vs. tell" and I have been struggling with that. I understand what it means, but I don't have an easy time applying it to my writing as yet.
The best ideas are when you are in the shower, right? So, the other night I was in the shower and I thought about this whole "show vs. tell" concept. I thought about my favorite author, Tiffany Reisz and how phenomenal her writing style is. It was then that I heard the angels singing. Well, one angel, actually and his name is Michael. He is one of the main characters in Tiffany's book, The Angel, which is my all-time favorite book (read it six times as of this blog post). I thought about my very favorite scene where Michael's feelings become too much for him to bear and he runs from the room and hides in the bathroom. Nora comes to check on him and he crumples to the floor in her arms and pours out his heart to her about his feelings for Griffin. Now, mind you, this is a boy who basically doesn't speak. In the book, his diatribe is about two pages long. At the end, he whispers to Nora, "You won't tell him, will you?" and (I have chills just typing this) Griffin, who has been standing in the doorway says, "She doesn't have to."
(Shudder....) Ok. Had yours truly been writing that scene, I would have had Michael from from the room and hide in his bedroom thinking all those things about Griffin. *yawn* What a difference Tiffany's version makes. HUGE! It takes "my" boring version and turns it into something that still makes me tear up when I think about it. Tiffany showed me the anguish in Michael's heart, not just told me about it.
Ding! Ding! Ding! I get it now! I really, really get it!
So, I had to email Tiffany and give her a virtual hug and tell her, once again, how much that passage impacted my life. She sent me this reply:
"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." -Anton Chekhov
God, I love that woman! So, armed with that inspiring quote, I'm ready to tackle NaNo today with a whole new outlook. I have plastered the quote everywhere and hopefully I will actually be able to apply it much easier now than in days past. Wish me luck!
NaNo Week 1
Today is day five of NaNoWriMo. I've been good! I have been disciplined and have managed to log at least 2000 words a day, which is over the expected 1600 NaNo guidelines.
Now, mind you, I actually started writing about my boys about a month ago, and had 27,000 words by the end of October.
I am totally enjoying the interaction with other writer friends that I have met on Twitter or Facebook who are doing NaNo as well. I'm actually kind of surprised at how many established authors sign up. For instance, Shoshanna Evers is one of my writing buddies! How cool is that?
I had a great Twitter friend beta my story when I was about 9000 words in. She gave me such wonderful advice and I am so glad I got up the courage to ask. One of the things we talked about was "show vs. tell" and I have been struggling with that. I understand what it means, but I don't have an easy time applying it to my writing as yet.
The best ideas are when you are in the shower, right? So, the other night I was in the shower and I thought about this whole "show vs. tell" concept. I thought about my favorite author, Tiffany Reisz and how phenomenal her writing style is. It was then that I heard the angels singing. Well, one angel, actually and his name is Michael. He is one of the main characters in Tiffany's book, The Angel, which is my all-time favorite book (read it six times as of this blog post). I thought about my very favorite scene where Michael's feelings become too much for him to bear and he runs from the room and hides in the bathroom. Nora comes to check on him and he crumples to the floor in her arms and pours out his heart to her about his feelings for Griffin. Now, mind you, this is a boy who basically doesn't speak. In the book, his diatribe is about two pages long. At the end, he whispers to Nora, "You won't tell him, will you?" and (I have chills just typing this) Griffin, who has been standing in the doorway says, "She doesn't have to."
(Shudder....) Ok. Had yours truly been writing that scene, I would have had Michael from from the room and hide in his bedroom thinking all those things about Griffin. *yawn* What a difference Tiffany's version makes. HUGE! It takes "my" boring version and turns it into something that still makes me tear up when I think about it. Tiffany showed me the anguish in Michael's heart, not just told me about it.
Ding! Ding! Ding! I get it now! I really, really get it!
So, I had to email Tiffany and give her a virtual hug and tell her, once again, how much that passage impacted my life. She sent me this reply:
"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." -Anton Chekhov
God, I love that woman! So, armed with that inspiring quote, I'm ready to tackle NaNo today with a whole new outlook. I have plastered the quote everywhere and hopefully I will actually be able to apply it much easier now than in days past. Wish me luck!
Now, mind you, I actually started writing about my boys about a month ago, and had 27,000 words by the end of October.
I am totally enjoying the interaction with other writer friends that I have met on Twitter or Facebook who are doing NaNo as well. I'm actually kind of surprised at how many established authors sign up. For instance, Shoshanna Evers is one of my writing buddies! How cool is that?
I had a great Twitter friend beta my story when I was about 9000 words in. She gave me such wonderful advice and I am so glad I got up the courage to ask. One of the things we talked about was "show vs. tell" and I have been struggling with that. I understand what it means, but I don't have an easy time applying it to my writing as yet.
The best ideas are when you are in the shower, right? So, the other night I was in the shower and I thought about this whole "show vs. tell" concept. I thought about my favorite author, Tiffany Reisz and how phenomenal her writing style is. It was then that I heard the angels singing. Well, one angel, actually and his name is Michael. He is one of the main characters in Tiffany's book, The Angel, which is my all-time favorite book (read it six times as of this blog post). I thought about my very favorite scene where Michael's feelings become too much for him to bear and he runs from the room and hides in the bathroom. Nora comes to check on him and he crumples to the floor in her arms and pours out his heart to her about his feelings for Griffin. Now, mind you, this is a boy who basically doesn't speak. In the book, his diatribe is about two pages long. At the end, he whispers to Nora, "You won't tell him, will you?" and (I have chills just typing this) Griffin, who has been standing in the doorway says, "She doesn't have to."
(Shudder....) Ok. Had yours truly been writing that scene, I would have had Michael from from the room and hide in his bedroom thinking all those things about Griffin. *yawn* What a difference Tiffany's version makes. HUGE! It takes "my" boring version and turns it into something that still makes me tear up when I think about it. Tiffany showed me the anguish in Michael's heart, not just told me about it.
Ding! Ding! Ding! I get it now! I really, really get it!
So, I had to email Tiffany and give her a virtual hug and tell her, once again, how much that passage impacted my life. She sent me this reply:
"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." -Anton Chekhov
God, I love that woman! So, armed with that inspiring quote, I'm ready to tackle NaNo today with a whole new outlook. I have plastered the quote everywhere and hopefully I will actually be able to apply it much easier now than in days past. Wish me luck!
October 10, 2013
NaNoWriMo
Ok...so....I'll be honest. I've been reading instead of writing. (And deck-staining, and barn cleaning, etc.)
You know how it is. One page leads to another page. One chapter leads to one more chapter. One book leads to another book. One series leads to another series.
And don't even get me started on the ease of "one click". Ugh.
But, the good news here, is, in the course of all this reading, (let's call it "research", ok?) I have discovered that I have a new favorite genre. M/M (For the uninitiated, that's Male/Male...or, more bluntly, Man-On-Man).
It started with The Original Sinners series by Tiffany Reisz. If you have not read this series, log off of here NOW and go download it. It is phenomenal. I actually had the pleasure of meeting Tiffany a month ago and she is my new girl-crush. But I digress....
The second book in the series is The Angel. I have never read a book that reached out and grabbed by heart as this one did. There is a M/M relationship in it, and, frankly, it is the most beautiful love story I have ever read. Ever. Like, in my whole life.
This lead me, by way of like-minded Twitter friends, to the Cut & Run series by Abigail Roux. That entire series is M/M and I could not get enough of Zane and Ty and their story. And it's not the sex. Now, mind you, the sex is smokin' hot....but it's the added angst involved when two men try to admit their feelings for each other. And I LOVE angst. Like, REALLY love angst! Especially male angst...and this genre gives me double the pleasure, so to speak.
This all got me thinking of a new idea for a book. And these characters started clamoring in my head much louder than my other characters. Enter Mason & Luke. They have a story and they seem to want it to be written. I started writing it yesterday and now they won't leave me alone.
As fate would have it, a good Twitter friend introduced me yesterday to NaNoWriMo, which is short for National Novel Writer's Month, which is in November. So, with the help and pep-talks of NaNoWriMo, I hope to actually get this story hammered out. The goal is 50,000 words in a month. I think I can do that.
As long as Mason & Luke are louder than all the other characters in my Kindle.
You know how it is. One page leads to another page. One chapter leads to one more chapter. One book leads to another book. One series leads to another series.
And don't even get me started on the ease of "one click". Ugh.
But, the good news here, is, in the course of all this reading, (let's call it "research", ok?) I have discovered that I have a new favorite genre. M/M (For the uninitiated, that's Male/Male...or, more bluntly, Man-On-Man).
It started with The Original Sinners series by Tiffany Reisz. If you have not read this series, log off of here NOW and go download it. It is phenomenal. I actually had the pleasure of meeting Tiffany a month ago and she is my new girl-crush. But I digress....
The second book in the series is The Angel. I have never read a book that reached out and grabbed by heart as this one did. There is a M/M relationship in it, and, frankly, it is the most beautiful love story I have ever read. Ever. Like, in my whole life.
This lead me, by way of like-minded Twitter friends, to the Cut & Run series by Abigail Roux. That entire series is M/M and I could not get enough of Zane and Ty and their story. And it's not the sex. Now, mind you, the sex is smokin' hot....but it's the added angst involved when two men try to admit their feelings for each other. And I LOVE angst. Like, REALLY love angst! Especially male angst...and this genre gives me double the pleasure, so to speak.
This all got me thinking of a new idea for a book. And these characters started clamoring in my head much louder than my other characters. Enter Mason & Luke. They have a story and they seem to want it to be written. I started writing it yesterday and now they won't leave me alone.
As fate would have it, a good Twitter friend introduced me yesterday to NaNoWriMo, which is short for National Novel Writer's Month, which is in November. So, with the help and pep-talks of NaNoWriMo, I hope to actually get this story hammered out. The goal is 50,000 words in a month. I think I can do that.
As long as Mason & Luke are louder than all the other characters in my Kindle.
