D.G. Kaye's Blog, page 47

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships – October 2021 – No Contact – The Breaking Point | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

  This month’s Realms of Relationships column is about going ‘No Contact’. Sometimes in life we’re faced with becoming stuck in unhealthy relationships and that can mean anything from enduring an abuser or narcissist, but it can also relate to any unhealthy relationship we allow with someone in our life who demeans us, belittles, demands of us, or shows no interest or compassion for us, yet remain a part of our lives.   Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships – October 2021 – No Contact – The Breaking Point   No Contact – The Breaking Point   I write a lot here about difficult relationships, the challenges about them, the symptoms, and I share my experience and my resolutions about handling some of these conflicts. In this issue, I’m going to talk about the No Contact rule.   This method is usually a last resort to ending a relationship after several other remedies have been applied without success.   When we have struggled with people who hurt, ignore, or harm us, either mentally or physically, and there is no solution left for handling these people, other than continuing to put up with them or creating distance from them wherever we can, sometimes all we can do is go full-blown No Contact. Yes, you can read 100 books on psychology about these issues, but when we reach the last end of the rope where we can no longer endure a toxic relationship, this may become the only option we’re left with to seek peace.   So, what is no contact exactly?   No Contact means taking a firm stance to remove ourselves from another person’s life or situation. It can often be a difficult process, especially when feelings of guilt intervene, but this is sometimes necessary to bring back sanity and peace. And despite our decision to go through with the process, it can still be difficult. And sometimes, despite our decision to break free, we may still get swept back into that person’s drama. Friend or family, sometimes we just have to let go to save ourselves. No Contact means the relationship is over. This is a self-protective measure we should take when a relationship isn’t just not fulfilling us, but becomes bad for our mental health. It’s a measure that will often entail grieving the loss of that relationship despite our choosing to sever ties with that person.     So what is the process for No Contact?   First, we should set our internal boundaries. Once we decide to go No Contact, we must stop filling our minds with the situation and playing the hurt hits over and over in our heads. If we’re at this point in a relationship, it’s time to stop thinking about them, the hurt, the words, the guilt and the pain they’ve caused us, and think about ourselves. When we’ve exhausted every avenue of trying to discuss and fix, and they either don’t see the problem or aren’t interested in repairing anything, it may be time to banish them. Going No Contact is not only a physical action, but a mental one too.   Going No Contact means: no phoning, no texting, no engagement on social media or otherwise, no talking, no partaking in events around them. It means staying strong when confronted by those we’ve walked away from and remembering the many reasons why we chose to delete that person from our lives. The object is to remove our presence from their life.   Like any loss in life, we may well go through some of the grieving stages, similar to how we do when we lose a loved one. During this process, we may experience mixed emotions such as: I’m a bad person for doing this, I don’t want to make bad blood, I don’t want people to be angry at me. I know this ritual through my own experience. I lived it when I finally had to use it with my mother. And since my husband’s passing, I’ve realized a lot about the people who’ve been a part of my life with ‘new eyes’. One thing I know from experience is that a deep loss of a loved one will forever change you.   What can help when we’re weighing the scales about a certain relationship is to write out our feelings. Make a list of the pros and cons of the relationship in question. Look at the good parts and the painful parts. If the painful parts far outweigh the good and you’ve already given the relationship many chances with the same outcome, it may be time to consider this method.     Toxic people are manipulative people. They have an inherent knack for knowing how to overpower others. It’s important not to allow these people to define us by manipulating us into feeling obligation or guilt when we attempt to distance ourselves mentally and physically from that person. Going No Contact is often akin to abstaining from a harmful substance like drugs or booze. And just like going through any detox program, we will undoubtedly go through some withdrawal symptoms after removing a person from our lives. And yes, second thoughts, guilt, and remembering some of the better times, may all pop into our heads during the cleansing, but the idea is to remain strong in our resolution for a greater good. In essence, creating No Contact is self-love and for self- preservation. . . Please continue reading at Sally’s Smorgasbord   Original Source: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – D. G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships – October 2021 – No Contact – The Breaking Point | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine   ©DGKaye2021  

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Sunday Book Review – Cruising Danger by Stevie Turner

My Sunday Book Review today is for Stevie Turner’s – Cruising Danger. I always enjoy Stevie’s books and had a hard time choosing which one to read this time round, as she has many books out and even though I haven’t yet had the chance to read them all, I try to get one in, in between other reads I enjoy. This one didn’t disappoint as Stevie takes us on a cruise adventure with Shirley and Pauline, two good friends who work together who decide to take a Caribbean cruise together – only things got off to a rocky start and the lovely cruise adventure turns into a possible murder mystery.     Blurb:   When Pauline Edmunds agrees to accompany her workmate Shirley on a Caribbean cruise, she is disappointed to be left alone almost at the start when Shirley starts a holiday romance with Joe Collins, a guitarist in a band working on board the ship. However, Pauline does not like the look of Joe, and tries to dissuade Shirley from continuing the affair. When Shirley cannot be found one morning, Pauline begins to investigate her friend’s disappearance, opening up a whole can of worms amidst a background of Caribbean scenery and sunshine.   My 5 Star Review:   Two close friends who work together decide to take a cruise together. Pauline is married and Shirley is not. Pauline discovers in a short time after boarding the cruise ship that her friend Shirley has already cast her eye on one of the ship’s musical entertainers, Joe. Shirley winds up spending lots of time with Joe and Pauline becomes pissed that the friend she supposedly went on vacation with is barely ever with her, leaving her mostly alone, not showing up for meals or planned excursions.   Yes, Pauline is pretty angry, as would be most people in this situation, only, after a few days of Shirley being a no-show, Pauline becomes suspicious as to her friend’s whereabouts and begins her journey of investigations with the help of ship security and emails she sends to her husband Jim, asking him to help her out by sending him on search missions back home in the U.K. (no spoilers).   The plot thickens once we discover Pauline is not imagining things and a ‘mysterious’ ‘passenger’ befriends Pauline and in her despair over drinks, proceeds to tell Ken what has transpired with her investigation into her missing friend. This is the part where I began getting suspicious of Ken, but that’s just me. Of course I cannot let you know if I was wrong or right about Ken. And I’m not divulging what entails after Pauline’s suspicions are confirmed. Suffice it to say, Turner did a fantastic job with creating suspicion and bringing in some other colorful characters to add to the chaos. Is Shirley really missing? Is she dead? Did she ditch Pauline to rush back home from one of the ports when Joe dumped her? You will have to read this enjoyable page turner to find out.   ©DGKaye2021  

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Smorgasbord Coffee Morning – Bring a Guest – Meet My Best Friend San by D.G. Kaye | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

I was thrilled to be over at Sally Cronin’s Smorgasbord for her #Influencer – Coffee Morning, Bring a Friend series. In this post, I’m unmasking Zan (San) one of my oldest best friends, and our relationship that has survived the distance and decades.   Smorgasbord Coffee Morning – Bring a Guest – Meet My Best Friend San by D.G. Kaye     Today a story of friendship that has thrived despite distance and pandemics for over forty years Debby Gies brings her best friend Sanja to coffee.   Meet My Best Friend San by D.G. Kaye   Today I’d like to introduce you all to my best friend Sanja, a.k.a., Zan, who you may recognize her name from some of my books. Sanja, pronounced – like ‘S’ plus ‘on’, plus ‘yaw’. I call her San (sounding like sand without the ‘d’) and when I call her by her full name, I pronounce it as San Ja, as in ‘jaw’. You will learn later how we love to make up new words.   We’ve been friends since we were both nineteen years old. That’s a long time, but then again, never enough. I met San when I moved away from home and worked part time in the building I was living in at the Recreation Center. I was the receptionist and gatekeeper of law and order of the gym, and San was a part time lifeguard up at the pool. After a few shifts together and one very quiet day at the Center, I buzzed up to the pool to ask her a question, and we blabbed away most of our shift. That was the beginning of our lifelong friendship.     This photo is us in our early twenties. Me with my blond hair streaked more blond and San with her natural hair color – until we changed our colors.   I should actually write a book about us and our shenanigans through the decades together, and most likely I will, but for now I’ll talk about how San became my ‘person’ in life through thick and thin, and how even an ocean that has separated us geographically for the last twenty-eight years never hindered our connection.   I grew up in a world of ‘colorful’ characters in my mother’s circles and with very conservative Orthodox Jews on my father’s side, despite my father never living his life as a conservative Jew. So that spectrum of my life was a total oxymoron when it came to family. I was a precocious, inquisitive, clever and street-wise child from a young age.   Because my mother was a social butterfly, barely home, we spent way too much time at our paternal grandparents’ growing up, a good ‘dump off’ spot for my mother. There was nothing Jewish about our family other than we were, and we went to synagogue with our dad and grandparents on all the high holidays out of respect for my dominating grandparents. Back at home we ate bacon and pork (although I personally no longer eat pork, as a choice, not religion) and my dad (when he was ever living with us), loved to order in Chinese Food or Pizza. I look back and it isn’t difficult to see how dysfunctional my family always was. And the funniest part was my, not even fully Jewish mother, who never had time to mother, had made it clear to me that I could only date Jewish guys. LMAO.   Okay, maybe I digressed here, but I had to set the setting to how my friend San turned my life into a 180.   Where I grew up, I only ever knew Jewish people. Exceptions were some of those ‘colorful’ characters I mentioned earlier in my mother’s gambling and racetrack circles. Heck, even my high school was 99 point something percent Jewish. After my tumultuous homelife and my parents’ many break ups, they finally divorced when I was sixteen. Two years later, my dad decided to sell our family home. My Aunty Sherry (my mother’s sister, and more my mother to me than my own mother), who happened to be a rental agent for a popular apartment complex mid-town in the city, hatched a plan with my father, to set me up on my own, to set me free from my mother’s rule, and allow me to experience life. My aunt got me a primo apartment and my dad paid my rent for two years until I could get myself sorted in what I wanted to do or be in life.   Enter San. There was an instant connection with us that first day we yacked for hours together at work. San, too, came from a somewhat dysfunctional family life, and that may have been the first thing we bonded over. Despite us being the same age (I’m actually 5 months older), I always look up to her like an older sister, sometimes even as a mother. I remember always feeling safe with her, safe to say anything, and protected. San was and is very nurturing and tactile, she’s warm and loving to everyone. When she enters a room, there’s a light that just puts her right in it. Despite the fact she’s physically beautiful, her heart and soul are equally beautiful, and she can often be the loudest one in the room. I warn, put us together and you will have a party. Until I met San, I’d grown up afraid of my mother, afraid to ask questions (I’d seek them out in other ways), zero talking about birds and bees, and the words “I love you” were not common practice anywhere in my life.   San introduced me to a whole new world of friends, and of living. And she taught me what unconditional love meant and taught me it was okay to tell people I loved them – something which felt most difficult to say all my life. She had/has many pet names for me and would often hug me and tell me she loved me. Oh, it felt so weird in the beginning, and of course, I felt so comfortable talking to her like I never had with anyone in my life until that point – not even my Aunty Sherry. I couldn’t tell my aunt my deepest feelings, for fear her allegiance to my mother would have her share anything noteworthy.   This photo was taken at one of girl get-togethers we do when Sanja comes home, about four years ago. This is my tribe. From left to right is me, Al, San, and my other bestie Anna, better known in my books as Bri.   San brought me into her world of close friends, who ultimately became my tribe of friends too. And as we grew and had various jobs, we’d both meet new people we’d introduce to each other, and our circle of friends grew. Only two people were Jewish in my wonderful new circle of multi-cultural friends, and I was loving and enjoying life. My first real best friend San is from the formerly known – Yugoslavia, now known as Croatia, and I fell in love with dating Italian men. I was introduced to a new world of diversity and I was never so happy.   I’d taken the opportunity to go back to university while my dad was helping me out and San was going to ‘beauty school’ to become an aesthetician. We remained working at the Rec Center a few more years, part time and Saturdays. And she made a damn fine aesthetician at that career, and magically, I had my own personal manicurist. San also taught me how to apply eye-shadow – PROPERLY. And she gave me the big thumbs down one time she caught me experimenting with BLUE eyeshadow. She still reminds me about that decades later. So, my best friend, sister/mother, social director, teacher of love was the pinnacle of my new life.   Through the years in our twenties, both San and I had active social lives, together, and in our own other various groups of friends. Her then fiancé and eventual first husband Jake lived in my building at the time with his parents while they were dating. Needless to say, San and Jake pretty much hung out at my place in our early years, as I was the one with my own place and they both still lived at home.   Our lives were full and exciting, and despite how busy our lives were, we were always together for everything that mattered. I had lost my father, both my grandparents and my Aunty Sherry in that first decade on my own, and besides always being by my side for life’s up and down’s, nursing me back to mental health on several occasions, San was always there to put me back together.     This photo was taken in the late eighties, just before I turned into a redhead. We were at a party.   The years passed and nothing separated us, not even San’s first two marriages. Husbands knew I was an appendage to San, and we still remained besties and there for each other always. Until that fateful day when San was going through some hardship of her own, she serendipitously met her soon to be third husband, only, he was visiting Toronto on business, and he lived in the U.K. In a whirlwind love affair, and after only a few short months of serious dating – flying back and forth to the U.K., among other amazing trips Tray took San on to some exotic places in the world, San announced she’s selling her house and moving to the U.K. with Tray. If I didn’t know heartache yet, and I had had plenty by then, I knew what a broken heart felt like way back then, but the pain of feeling your losing your best friend, confidante, mother, sister, all rolled in one, was almost too much to bear. After almost fifteen years of being attached to my best friend, she was leaving me, or so I thought, because that’s how it felt. . . Please continue reading at Sally’s blog to find out how our friendship survived the miles.     Original Source: Smorgasbord Coffee Morning – Bring a Guest – Meet My Best Friend San by D.G. Kaye | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine   ©DGKaye2021  

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Sunday Book Review – Over the Hedge #Historicalfiction by Paulette Mahurin

Welcome to my Sunday Book Review. Today I’m thrilled to be sharing my review for one of my favorite Historical Fiction author’s book, Paulette Mahurin with Over the Hedge. As many of my readers know, historical fiction, particularly, the WWII era genre, draws me into the world of the human condition, the evils of man, and the strength to survive. And Paulette is an amazing writer in this genre as she knows how to tell a story and bring our emotions right into it.   Get this book on Amazon   Blurb: During one of the darkest times in history, at the height of the German occupation of the Netherlands in 1943, members of the Dutch resistance began a mission to rescue Jewish children from the deportation center in Amsterdam. Heading the mission were Walter Süskind, a German Jew living in the Netherlands, Henriëtte Pimentel, a Sephardic Jew, and Johan van Hulst, principal of a Christian college. As Nazis rounded up Jewish families at gunpoint, the three discreetly moved children from the deportation center to the daycare across the street and over the backyard hedge to the college next door. From the college, the children were transported to live with Dutch families. Working against irate orders from Hitler to rid the Netherlands of all Jews and increasing Nazi hostilities on the Resistance, the trio worked tirelessly to overcome barriers. Ingenious plans were implemented to remove children’s names from the registry of captured Jews. To sneak them out of the college undetected past guards patrolling the deportation center. To meld them in with their new families to avoid detection. Based on actual events, Over the Hedge is the story of how against escalating Nazi brutality when millions of Jews were disposed of in camps, Walter Süskind, Henriëtte Pimentel, and Johan van Hulst worked heroically with the Dutch resistance to save Jewish children. But it is not just a story of their courageous endeavors. It is a story of the resilience of the human spirit. Of friendship and selfless love. The love that continues on in the hearts of over six hundred Dutch Jewish children.   My 5 Star Review: Gripping Heartbreak. This is a story that will keep you gripped throughout the plight of three people who joined the Dutch Resistance and in 1943 began a rescue mission in Amsterdam to save however many Jewish children as they could from being sent to their deaths. Walter, Henrietta and Johan’s mission at the deportation center was to move the young children who were deported from their homes to the daycare center next door, a ploy to keep the children calm while the adults were being accounted for, beaten and awaiting the trucks to take them to the trains that would ultimately land them at Auschwitz. What the SS and fellow nazis didn’t know was that the children were methodically moved from the daycare and passed ‘over the hedge’ to a college campus next door. From there, Henrietta would take care of the children and prepare them for transport by other resistance members to be taken to new homes by good Dutch people who adopted them. Humanity at its best during a dark time of history. Walter worked in the deportation room where the rounded up Jews were first sent to ‘register’ for their ‘next journey’. Walter worked hard and secretly to remove the children’s names off the rosters, always fearing being found out. He would try and save as many children as he could by first approaching the parent(s) and offering them to save their children. Devastated parents with fear, starvation and broken hearts were elated to give Walter their children for a chance for them to live and survive, as they knew what was waiting for them ahead. The three worked diligently, secretly and methodically to do their part in saving Jewish lives. Intrinsically timed plans were carried out to bypass guards to smuggle the children over to the daycare, and once cleaned and fed, transported by inconspicuous vans and bicycles by other helpers, often placing the children in a suitcase or the like, with a small dose of drug to make them sleep so they wouldn’t get scared and cry. The fact that these three earth angels worked tirelessly right under the noses of the German SS patrol killers and got away with saving the lives of those meant to be killed, is astounding in itself. Sadly, this story was written on true events. Walter and his friends managed to save the lives of over 600 Dutch Jewish children at a time when helping Jews was a crime punishable by death by the nazis. And if you are wondering what happened to these three heroes after their selfless, heroic efforts, you’re going to have to read the book.   ©DGKaye2021    

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Writer’s Tips October – #Memoir Writing, #Canva, #Scamalert, Createspace, Google, Blogging, and Free Promotion Offer

Welcome to October edition of Writer’s Tips. In today’s post I’m sharing a new author scam alert, Seven S’s of writing Memoir, problems for authors who didn’t move their books themselves to Amazon, a tutorial on how to add video to Canva, marketing with Google, reusable block making on the Gutenberg editor, and two invitations where you can promote your books.     First one is a brand new author Scam Alert. Anne R. Allen keeps us abreast the latest scams and book steals. Today she shares the danger of Facebook, and advice on choosing an Editor who won’t scam. Warning to Writers: You Won’t See This New Publishing Scam Coming     Roz Morris from Nail Your Novel with The 7 S’s of Writing Memoir http://www.nailyournovel.com/   Deborah Jay with an eye-opener for authors who didn’t move their books themselves from Createspace to Amazon Createspace to KDP – how did you transfer your paperbacks?   Natalie Ducey Smith has a new tutorial for us on How to Add Custom Video to Canva How to Add a Custom Audio File to Designs in Canva!     Attention authors looking for FREE promotion – the great promoter, Sally Cronin is offering a new series at the Smorgasbord – Lucky Dip – check it out and get featured at the Smorgasbord Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives -#NewSeries October 2021- ‘Lucky Dip’ and Do You Trust Me??     Tech teacher and author Jacqui Murray shares how to outline and market your stories using Google Google Drawings for Planning and Marketing Your Story   Blogging guru and author, Hugh Roberts is showing us how to make a resuseable block in the Gutenberg editor How to Create And Use A Reusable Block For Your Book On WordPress   Ingram Spark tells us why we should also publish with them separately, using publishdrive https://publishdrive.com/ingram-sell-...   Author Stevie Turner also generously offers authors and bloggers Free promotion on her blog on Fridays – share a post or share a book excerpt – check it out Friday Spotlight – 17th September   ©DGKaye2021  

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Native Spirit Oracle Card Reading

And now for something completely different. Today I’m going to share a reading I did for myself a few days ago. I think many of you who visit here know my blog can be a bit eclectic, and sometimes random when not posting book reviews, writing tips, or rants in general. And I also know that many of you know I’m quite spiritual, tossed in with a little witchy and a little psychic, as you’d know from some of my other posts, like Sisters of the Fey articles I used to write for. But today, I wanted to share a reading I did for myself with my Oracle cards. Yup, I read cards and Runes too. Surprise!     Personally, I prefer working with Oracle cards to Tarot cards, possibly because I find them easier to interpret. I have four different sets of Oracle cards, as many readers often do. Some resonate more to me on certain days than others, but my real favs are my Native Spirit Oracle cards, which I used in this recent reading. This deck really speaks to me.   I’ve been learning and working with the cards for a few years now. Until these past few weeks, I had no desire to pick up the cards, especially when my husband took ill. I didn’t need to read anything about what was in store for me at that time I knew doom was impending. But ironically, I recently have become curious again about what spirits have to tell me. Maybe I’m looking for direction, but I felt a need to pull out the Native cards only. Incidentally, I’ll sometimes bring other decks into a reading, but this time I didn’t, and the reading still took me well over an hour after setting the scene and stopping to write in between interpretations. All these decks come with little booklets that interpret the cards meaning and message, which we the reader use as guidance to help interpret what we see.   I turned on some meditation music, cleared the room of stale energy by burning sage and incense, lit a white candle, set up my altar with my husband’s photo, surrounded by crystals, then waved my selenite wand over the cards to cleanse them, and asked for my spirit guides and angels to protect me in white light and only good spirits to be around. Then I shuffled the cards. Every reader has their own style of drawing cards. We shuffle them and ask our questions. I usually prefer to use three cards, then more if I feel I need elaboration on an answer. I let the cards choose me. As I continue to shuffle and ask my question(s), a card, two, three will either fall from the pile or stick out from the rest. Those are the cards I begin with. The others, I cut the deck in half and draw from the top if I feel I need another card or so.   I felt compelled to ask the spirit guides – Where do I need to be? What do I need to do? Where do I need to go, if anywhere, to find this new life I need to begin living.   I laid the first 3 cards face down, then flipped them over one at a time to interpret the messages. I then ultimately, ended up with five cards. The 4th one I drew because I felt I needed more clarification from one of the answers, and the last card literally dropped off the pile, so I had to add it to the story. Below you can see the 5 cards that came to me. And then I’ll share my interpretation.       The first card on top left is Flowing River, next, the Wounded Healer, and The Trickster. And I’m adding here that the Wounded Healer card comes up for me every single time I use this deck. The next card came, The Shapeshifter, which I chose to elaborate on the Trickster’s message. And then of course, the extra card that fell, I laid on top again over the Shapeshifter. And here’s how it went with my interpretations:   Flowing River:  “Forgive yourself and let go.” The rivers are flowing and the flow of life are opening for me. I am no longer swimming against the current. Forgiving oneself and letting go is one of the hardest things for me to do, but spirit is telling me it’s time to stop blaming myself for the more I couldn’t do to save my husband. Logically, I know it was no longer in my hands but God’s, yet, it’s a tough thing this guilt.   The Wounded Healer:  Healing energy and life force are flowing to me, so says this card. I’m told I’m a healer who helps others, whether or not I know it. What needs healing now in my life is a process currently being worked on, “The cracks can be where the light enters the soul. You are a healer in the most profound sense of the word.” What needs healing in my life is being addressed by the “inner realms”. “Your strength lies in the difficulties you’ve overcome.” I discover this while I’m seeking how I can help myself, I’m told I’m helping others.   I’ve been told by two mediums that I was a doctor in another life and I worked with the Native medicine men in another. It makes me wonder why I’ve always been so fascinated and interested in health and medicine, especially naturopathic. Perhaps this is why this Wounded Healter card always visits me every reading.   The Trickster: Immediately, this card made me think of Murphy’s Law – Murphy the trickster who likes to show up particularly in Mercury Retrograde periods, which we are currently in now, and wreak havoc on most communications, reservations, appointments, technology – you get the drift. Things are not as they seem or should be in this time. This Trickster warns not to take everything at face value and to search below the surface, but also to look for the humor in difficult situations. This card asks that I step out of old routines that are keeping me stagnant. It suggested I howl like a cayote to release stagnant energy, particularly more powerful during a full moon. I did. I then asked spirit what did I need to beware of, so I shuffled the cards and asked the question and 2 more cards popped out. The Shape-Shifter popped out along with another – Gathering Your Tribe.   The Shape-Shifter: ” Let go of attachment to your identity. See the world around you with new eyes.” That really got my attention because that’s exactly how I feel since my husband died, that I’m seeing things from different perspectives. I’ve been observing the world around me with different eyes. SS says it’s time to manifest my dreams, And for the 3rd time in this reading I got the same message on this card, “This card chose you because it wants you to kow that you’re past doesn’t need to equal your future. Shut off your beliefs and limiting decisions that held you back from fulfilling your highest destiny.”   Gathering Your Tribe:  I am loved and I deserve love and support in various forms, they are flowing to me.  Speak truth and once again there’s a repeated message: “Diminish your time with those who do not empower or believe in you.”  It says if this card chooses me “sustenance in all forms” is flowing into my life. “Your people are those who resonate with you.” It says it’s my time to put my needs before others. (At this point I looked up to the screen where I was playing the meditation music on my screen, waves were crashing and a huge beautiful orange butterfly rested on a rock.) The message was telling me that my tribe are my people, and that’s what I always say to all my warrior friends. And then this last quote blew me away, “Sometimes your friends are more your family than your blood relatives.” Fact. And finishes with suggestions -“take classes, share meals, take time to find your people. You will live longer.”   I hope you enjoyed my sharing of my Oracle reading. I don’t do it often, but when I feel the cards ‘calling me’, it’s time for a reading.   ©DGKaye2021  

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Sunday Movie Review – Nomadland

Sunday Movie Review – Nomadland with Frances McDormand. I often watch movies or series that deal with the human condition. This movie was a perfect study specimen. Frances McDormand plays Fern, a woman whose life has been uprooted after the death of her husband and the loss of her home due to the Great Recession. Strength of character is what captures my attention, and in this movie, McDormand proves she’s worthy of all the accolades this film received.   A somewhat melancholy and disturbing movie, but a good educational watch. Frances McDormand as Fern is just one of the ‘victims’ caught up in the carnage in 2011 after the financial crash when many Americans lost their homes. Fern becomes a van-dwelling woman in her 60s who leaves her town of Empire, Nevada, where her and her husband had lived and worked. He died, and the plant shut down. And with no insurance and not enough income to live on, she was a senior, forced to leave the home she could no longer afford to keep. Fern ventured out of her company town in rural Nevada in her van to explore a life outside of conventional society – a modern day nomad. As it turned out, many other seniors did the same thing after that crisis. Fern packed all she could into her white van and traveled cross country to various RV parks on her journey across America to discover where she should plant herself and call home. Along the way she does various odd jobs to make a paycheck, quite a few of them as temporary warehouse worker for Amazon, and makes friends like herself along the way. It’s the stories told by some of these people that will take us in. This movie features real people portraying themselves as some of the nomads in the film. And their real names were listed in the credits. Three people in particular became Fern’s mentors, as they knew the lifestyle well – Linda May, Swankie and Bob Wells were Fern’s mentors and comrades through her exploration driving through the American West. Besides McDormand playing Fern and David Strathairn playing Dave, most of the cast were real RVers.   Quote from Bob: “One of the things I love most about this life is that there’s no final goodbye. You know, I’ve met hundreds of people out here and I don’t ever say a final goodbye. I always just say, I’ll see you down the road. And I do. And whether it’s a month, or a year, or sometimes years, I see them again.” Linda May, Swankie and Bob Wells were Fern’s mentors (and essentially, Frances McDormand’s) and comrades in her exploration through the vast landscape of the American West.”  The IMDB movie reviewer sight quotes the movie’s description, ” A woman in her sixties, after losing everything in the Great Recession, embarks on a journey through the American West, living as a van-dwelling modern-day nomad.”   The inspiration for Chloé Zhao’s celebrated film starring Frances McDormand, winner of the Academy Awards for Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Actress March and April pick for the PBS Newshour-New York Times “Now Read This” Book Club New York Times bestseller   “People who thought the 2008 financial collapse was over a long time ago need to meet the people Jessica Bruder got to know in this scorching, beautifully written, vivid, disturbing (and occasionally wryly funny) book.” —Rebecca Solnit   The movie is dubbed as ‘Surviving America in the 21st century’. After movie credits stated: ‘Dedicated to those who had to depart.’   The movie won a few academy awards, three of which were to McDormand’s credit – Best Actor, Best Producer (McDormand also produced it), and Best Picture.   Other awards the movie took: American Film Institute Awards February 26, 2021. Won. American Film Institute Awards February 26, 2021. Won. The Golden Lion Award at the Venice Film Festival People’s Choice Award at the Toronto International Film Festival   The original book was written as an investigative look at what happened after the carnage of the 2008 financial crisis, by Jessica Bruder, garnering almost 7000 reviews. It’s now on my reading list:     Blurb: From the beet fields of North Dakota to the National Forest campgrounds of California to Amazon’s CamperForce program in Texas, employers have discovered a new, low-cost labor pool, made up largely of transient older Americans. Finding that social security comes up short, often underwater on mortgages, these invisible casualties of the Great Recession have taken to the road by the tens of thousands in late-model RVs, travel trailers, and vans, forming a growing community of nomads.   On frequently traveled routes between seasonal jobs, Jessica Bruder meets people from all walks of life: a former professor, a McDonald’s vice president, a minister, a college administrator, and a motorcycle cop, among many others—including her irrepressible protagonist, a onetime cocktail waitress, Home Depot clerk, and general contractor named Linda May.   In a secondhand vehicle she christens “Van Halen,” Bruder hits the road to get to know her subjects more intimately. Accompanying Linda May and others from campground toilet cleaning to warehouse product scanning to desert reunions, then moving on to the dangerous work of beet harvesting, Bruder tells a compelling, eye-opening tale of the dark underbelly of the American economy—one that foreshadows the precarious future that may await many more of us. At the same time, she celebrates the exceptional resilience and creativity of these quintessential Americans who have given up ordinary rootedness to survive. Like Linda May, who dreams of finding land on which to build her own sustainable “Earthship” home, they have not given up hope.   Has anyone here seen the movie or read the book yet? What did you think?   ©DGKaye2021    

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Q & A with D.G. Kaye – Featuring Lauren Scott – #NewRelease – More than Coffee: Memories in Verse and Prose

Welcome to my Q & A for September. Today I’m thrilled to be featuring my friend and author, Lauren Scott and her beautiful new book – More than Coffee: Memories in Verse and Prose. Lauren writes beautiful poetry and short story memoirs. I’ve been following her blog for a few years now and as Lauren has recently released her newest book, she’s on blog tour now, so I thought I’d jump in on her booklaunch tour with doing a little Q & A here with her. Enjoy!       About Lauren:   Lauren has authored two collections of poetry: New Day, New Dreams (2013) and Finding a Balance (2015). In the last couple of years, she began exploring memories from her past, penning them into short memoirs. She lives in Northern California with her husband, Matthew, and their lovable canine, Copper; they have two adult children. Family has been an aspect of life she has always held dear. From her experiences over three decades: raising a family, grieving through loss, finding joy in the smallest things, and the many backpacking and camping adventures, her writing takes a magical path of its own.   The marvelous wild world that surrounds her: the smell of the woods, the sound of a babbling brook, and the chorus of birds never disappoint in providing inspiration. Recent backpacking trips with Matthew along the California coast and Sierra Nevada have stirred up thoughts to write about love, lost friendship, family, and the possibility that anything can happen. Hikes along the Paper Mill Creek remind her that life is fragile. From trout hatchlings to swallowtail butterflies, Lauren is marveled at how the world is interconnected and that every living thing matters. She is a poet, short memoir writer, and nature lover who hopes her readers will find a little nugget of delight, comfort, or understanding in her poetry and stories – some detail that resonates with them beyond her words.       Blurb:   From the early woes of childhood and teen years, this collection of stories and poems paints a picture of young dreams and fears. But as adulthood sets in, these dreams and fears change. More than Coffee touches on love and loss, nature and endurance, marriage and parenting. In these memories, humor diffuses fear and taking risks proves to be a powerful method in boosting self-confidence. Through it all, whether in the wilderness near a sparkling lake or in the comfort of home, there’s nothing like a good cup of coffee. A poignant and reflective collection of verse and prose that is best enjoyed sipping your favorite coffee roast.         Let’s get into a little Q & A and get to know more about Lauren!   Where do your book ideas grow from?   Inspiration is derived from a simple walk around the neighborhood with my dog: flowers blooming in springtime, bees buzzing in the distance, clouds forming art in the sky, or a subtle touch of a breeze. Family is most important to me, so I write about the love of my life, my husband of 32 years, who I met in a comical manner. My parents who have since passed away have been the fodder for poetry and short memoirs – losing one parent is difficult enough, but both is beyond surreal. It’s like the family foundation slipped into a sink hole. I find inspiration from my son and daughter who have turned out to be compassionate, amazing adults, and how it took some getting used to when my husband and I became empty nesters.   I write about loss and grief – the importance of letting those tears flow – but also the necessity of occasionally giving freedom to your silly self. Camping and backpacking have played an integral part of our life, so living in the wilderness near a sparkling freshwater lake encourages a plethora of thoughts eager to be written. Hiking five miles further up the mountain to a lake filled with lily pads is like entering a fairyland inspiring a new level of ideas for my muse.   When work on my memoir began, my mind transported to the past: recalling formative childhood years, finding forever love, becoming a mother, and taking on challenges that I never would have attempted before. I strive to convey the value of slowing down and reveling in surrounding beauty, feeling gratitude, meeting a challenge head-on, and living in the here and now. We’re only gifted one ride around the sun, so why not make it the best possible ride?!   DG: Even your response here is beautiful prose Lauren. Yes, writing about truth in life is all about the moments we take in and how we interpret them. 🙂     What are your writing goals for this year?   I had set a writing goal to publish my memoir, More than Coffee: Memories in Verse and Prose which was released in early September. What a feeling of accomplishment, especially because my first two books were collections of poetry. More than Coffee speaks of memories from the past written in freeform poetry and in short memoirs. The process took longer than I anticipated, and I thought the editing would never end. Eventually, the point of confidence that every comma and verb was written correctly was finally achieved. I am thrilled to check that box off, but in the process, I was able to relive many wonderful moments from my childhood into my adulting. When loved ones have passed on, it is the gathering of fond memories that sustain us and bring them to life.   DG: I’m glad you accomplished what you set out to do Lauren. I know how life can get in the way of our good intentions. Writing memoir is certainly reliving the moments. 🙂     Would you like to share with us what upcoming projects and/or ideas for books you’re working on?   As I inched closer to the finish line with More than Coffee, the wheels in my mind started turning again, and I wondered what will come next? I have written more than a dozen new poems I would love to see in print, but those may have to wait. I recently pulled a children’s book idea from my archived computer files. This book or a possible series commenced over two decades ago. And then life happened, raising children took precedence, and that idea became complacent in the archives. I feel now is the right time to breathe some life into this project. However, I don’t know the first thing about writing a children’s book. For now, though, I’m enjoying the ride on Cloud 9 from the release of my new book and the positive feedback I’ve received, along with the generous support from wonderful blogging friends. Once this ride slows down, the children’s book research will begin, and I’ll see where it takes me.   DG: That sounds fantastic Lauren. I could definitely see you as a children’s writer. That will be a wonderful project to dive into no doubt!     Do you have any advice you can share for new writers?   My advice is to simply write! Don’t think too hard! Years ago, I allowed intimidation to prevent me from pursuing my writing passion – intimidation from not holding that BA or MFA in Creative Writing. However, several years ago, I attended English classes required for an associate degree at our local community college (baby steps to a bachelor’s degree), and I’m proud to say that I aced those classes. I loved the writing and the experience. But what halted me on that path to a two-year degree was the requirement to take other classes that might not interest me, then to spend time doing that homework. Instead, my son nudged me into starting a blog. I slowly began to share my writing, feeling a little timid in the beginning. At the same time, I followed many talented authors. Before I knew it, WordPress transformed into an online classroom. I learned about various formats of poetry. I read compelling fiction with authentic dialogue. I laughed and let the tears fall when reading memoirs. I delighted in immersing myself into charming children’s books.   Thus, I made another choice, pouring my heart and soul into writing for my blog, a wonderful platform to engage with other like-minded bloggers. Regardless of age, learning is infinite, as well as growing in one’s craft. Maybe I’ll step foot on a college campus again? Whether that happens or not, I’ll continue to read, letting myself be drawn into fantastic tales of fantasy, mystery, and romance. I’ll feel the myriad of emotions when reading beautiful poetry, gaining more knowledge along the journey. And when inspiration moves me, I will write. So, follow your writing passion regardless of credentials or age.   DG: I’d say that is the best advice for new writers afraid to take the plunge. Oh yes, it can be so intimidating when we first begin. But the blog gives us our own platform to experiment with our writing and a great audience to inspire us to keep writing. It’s all about community for us writers. 🙂       Lauren Shares an Excerpt from her story – Ascent   When we reached the top and I looked down that sleek granite dome, I was amazed at what I had achieved. Never underestimate our abilities. On the other side of the dome, Shealor Lake was in full view. We gave our legs a short rest, drank some water, then headed downhill with the enticing pull of the lake’s beauty. As we neared the bottom, my emotions ran wild. I was relieved that we finally made it, but a sudden wave of grief washed over me. We removed our packs and sat on a log for a time-out. I was so overwhelmed that the tears found freedom. I didn’t fight them. I cried for the loss of Dad. I cried for having completed this hike that I didn’t think I was capable of. I would’ve backed out graciously had I known the details.   After a few minutes, I composed myself and looked to the lake. The water, a jeweled phenomenon. It sparkled, inviting us for a swim. While we set up our back-country camp, the orange-hot sun blazed down on us as if we had drastically turned up the thermostat, so the cool lake water soothed our sun-kissed skin. The fact that we were all alone in this canyon full of forest and smooth granite was beyond welcoming. The tranquility offered me the chance to reminisce about Dad and my parents together. The solitude afforded a perfect destination to grieve, think, remember, and cry. Mourning the loss of one parent was difficult enough but losing both felt surreal – a new stage of life had begun.   I hope you all enjoyed getting to know a bit about Lauren, her writing and her new book. Visit Lauren at her blog and at her Amazon author page to discover some of her other books.   Visit Lauren:   BLOG: https://baydreamerwrites.com/ AMAZON AUTHOR PAGE:  https://www.amazon.com/~/e/B08NCRH4MK   ©DGKaye2021  

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Friday Spotlight – D.G Kaye | Stevie Turner

Today I’m sharing my recent feature spot I had over at Stevie Turner’s blog where I’m talking a bit about how my book – Twenty Years: After “I Do” came to be. Stevie Turner generously runs an author promotion series every Friday on her blog. Some weeks she offers ‘Click and Run’, where we’re invited to leave a link to a great review for one of our books, and this spotlight feature. Stevie invites authors to submit to be featured. Enjoy reading my post and if you’d like to be featured, follow her submission guidelines listed at the bottom of her post page.     Friday Spotlight – D.G Kaye     Hi all, today the spotlight is on D.G Kaye, a non-fiction author I feel I know very well even though I’ve never met her.   We’ve gone through a few similiar life experiences, and we have the same opinions on many subjects. Reading Debby’s bio below, I’ve often wished I could have been a reporter too, and it’s quite uncanny how much alike we are in so many ways!   I enjoyed reading Debby’s book ‘Twenty Years: After “I Do”, which contains many tips for a successful marriage based on the author’s own twenty year marriage to the love of her life, Gordon, who sadly passed away earlier this year.         Bio   Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.   D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, sharing the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.   When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.     Why I write nonfiction   I’ve always been a ‘tell it the way it is’ kind of girl. In fact, I’m pretty sure I should have been a reporter. I’m a nonfiction/memoir writer and no matter how hard I try to get around that by dabbling into the odd fiction writing piece, it always seemed I was writing on factual incidents, so I decided why bother packing it as fiction, why not just own up to it and tell the truth. All my stories have lessons in them that others can take from them. And when a story isn’t about a serious topic, I’ll always try to inject humor whenever I can. Why? Because sometimes we all just need to look for the funny.     About the writing of this book:    Writing this book was a true labor of love. The book stemmed from little things that popped into my head a few years ago when my husband took ill. I was riding a roller coaster of emotions for much of the year with my husband’s health, and it got me thinking about how much had really changed through the years, as his aging was happening well ahead of mine.   I’m not suggesting that time isn’t catching up with me too, but what I mean is that my husband was two decades older than me, and when we first got married, I let that factor slide because there were so many good reasons to marry him. But it’s a learning curve when you have a ringside seat watching your spouse go through situations that become a bit more difficult as the body ages and sickness sometimes takes its toll.   It was an actual statement that my husband made one day that lit up my brain with the book idea. He made a comment out of the blue, “We’ve been together twenty years.” When you read the book, you will understand why that statement spurred the title of the book. And from there, well, it got me thinking about some of the day-to-day activities we do that tend to become altered as one ages, as well as some of the things about the future we don’t normally tend to think about when we’re younger, but become things we’re forced to think about and reckon with.   The basic formula I can share to keep the engines of a marriage running smoothly is to always remember compassion and kindness, listen with your heart, talk about your feelings, be a supportive partner, and don’t forget to include laughter in your life every day!         Blurb:   May/December memoirs. In this personal accounting, D.G. Kaye shares the insights and wisdom she has accrued through twenty years of keeping her marriage strong and thriving despite the everyday changes and challenges of aging. Kaye reveals how a little creative planning, acceptance, and unconditional love can create a bond no obstacle will break.     Excerpt:   Sacrifice   When I chose to marry Gordon, I didn’t live in a fantasy world, unconcerned about the future. I didn’t jump in recklessly, thinking life wouldn’t present problems down the road. I wasn’t delusional, thinking, I’ll worry about whatever happens when it happens or Nothing bad is ever going to happen to him. No, I took everything into consideration and thought logically about marrying Gordon, and knew in my heart that the bottom line was that I loved him for all he was and who he was and that love, providing it was reciprocated, would sustain me through whatever came our way.   ***   When I talk about the sacrifices we make in life, I’m referring to sacrifices we make for our marriage, our children, or sometimes just for the sake of peace. But what are we sacrificing? Do we become heroes because we act selflessly by giving into or giving up something to someone, by sacrificing our own happiness for others? Do we sacrifice to appease, or do we sacrifice from the goodness of our hearts?   “Sacrifice” isn’t a simple word. Sacrifice in a marriage isn’t an accolade we should brag about but an act we perform voluntarily for the pure pleasure of giving up something we desire for the sake of someone else’s happiness or need. A healthy relationship involves a give and take from both parties, and if one of those parties isn’t reciprocating, he or she isn’t sacrificing. When we commit to an honest relationship, we realize that selflessness is a main ingredient and part of what strengthens the bond as our relationships develop. We accept that life consists of peaks and valleys, and we sometimes have to give up something with an open heart to accommodate our partners’ needs.   If we’re the selfish type who only take from a relationship what we want and flee when obstacles present themselves, there is no sacrifice, only selfishness. Sacrifice will always be part of a good and healthy relationship because that’s what we do when we love with our whole hearts: We give of ourselves with no complaints or expectations.   So where does the word “sacrifice” fit into my relationship? Am I supposed to say I sacrificed my midlife years because my husband is older now and we’re unable to do many of the same things we once did together in our earlier years? That’s not how a good marriage works. I didn’t sacrifice anything to be with Gordon. We’ve had a wonderful life together and still do. Sure, our age difference can sometimes present challenges, but what marriage doesn’t encounter challenges? Ours are just different. We care about each other and have always been at each other’s sides through the big moments and the small. We support each other’s desires, dreams, and ambitions. We make each other laugh and remember to tell one another “I love you” every day. Our views on certain issues will differ, and sometimes Gordon may not understand my writing life, but he’s proud of me and applauds my accomplishments—and he never complains.   If I’m lost in my work and the dinner hour has passed, he won’t complain but will help himself to a bowl of cereal. My husband is a good sport when it comes to my desires, and he’s always happy to see me happy. That’s how it’s been since the beginning of us, and that says a lot for why we’re still together today.   A good relationship always entails sacrifices. Maintaining a good relationship is like creating a recipe with all the nutritional ingredients and flavor, well simmered to ensure it’s tasteful and fulfilling, and part of that recipe is to be generous with hugs. Hugs are a loving expression of our emotions. Still, to this day, when Gordon makes me laugh with his boyish charm, I see the charisma that attracted me to him twenty years ago and can’t resist hugging him like I would a comforting teddy bear. He is my teddy bear, huggable, lovable, dependable, helpful, and caring. So really, what could I possibly have sacrificed to receive all the gifts I am given?   ~ ~ ~   Review   5.0 out of 5 stars A Memoir On Love and Marriage: Love Without Limits Reviewed in the United States on August 20, 2019 by Lauren Miller   Verified Purchase   D.G Kaye beautifully chronicles twenty years of her marriage and along the way encapsulates the heart of unconditional love amid life’s challenges. What I loved so much was her honest retelling of those years, both good and challenging. I found myself nodding again and again while I read as she honed into what the fundamental requirements were to maintain a healthy relationship. Respect, laughter, intimacy and patience are the cornerstones of a solid foundation that can withstand the trials of daily living. This is, or should be required reading for anyone in a relationship whether married or in a partnership. The author touched on so many issues that impact all relationships. This novel is a keeper and one I will return to over and over again. I extend a heartfelt thank you to the author for her candor and the gift to all of us for this remarkable book.   Please visit Stevie’s blog for original post and find out how to be featured with your books. Source: Friday Spotlight – D.G Kaye | Stevie Turner   ©DGKaye2021  

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Sunday Book Review – Charlotte – #Shortstory by S.R. Mallery

My Sunday Book Review is for S.R. Mallery’s, Charlotte. This is a cleverly written short story that doesn’t feel like a short story because even in the limited pages, the story is well crafted, will keep our curiosity revved until the very end when we find out who ‘Him’ is.       Blurb:   Sometimes things are not as they seem… In 1793, all the twenty-four-year-old Charlotte desires is to travel the long distance to Paris and visit Him. Despite La Guillotine operating day and night, in spite of her family’s warnings about her being too independent, she has a true mission and will not be deterred. In the end, will everything work out? Will meeting him give her the fulfillment she so craves?   She only knows that when she finally does face him to execute her plan, she will take care to look her most beautiful. For, by doing that, she will assuredly draw him in––and forever change her life. She cannot wait.   Originally entitled, “Him,” in the short story collection, TALES TO COUNT ON, this is an alternative route to a famous event during the French Revolution.     My 5 Star Review   This is a short story that packs a punch. Mallery paints a story taking place during the French Revolution. Charlotte Corday is on a mission to leave her comfortable country home to visit a mysterious ‘someone’ in Paris, at a time when Paris was known as the City of Blood and the guillotine was working overtime. We are taken through her journey of her traveling to Paris, and the stops she made along the way to ensure her safe passage. In a time where one must be aware of surroundings during the time of bloodshed, simply because one had wealth or nobility, Charlotte dressed in her finery, set out to seek the man, only referred to as ‘Him’ throughout the story.   We learn she must look her finest and takes great pains to make sure she does in preparation to finally see ‘Him’, she will be the desire of his wantings when she arrives. She thinks.   This author is known for her short stories that are deliciously descript and for a mere 8 pages she sets the tone for this quick-paced historical fiction tale that is guaranteed to drop a few jaws by the time we reach the end.   ©DGKaye2021    

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