Timothy J. Pruitt's Blog, page 73
October 29, 2022
October 28, 2022
Art Unboxed Drawing An Imposter
Have you ever watched a celebrity impostor on a television show? The good ones look so similar to the real thing, but at the same time with most I’ve seen, there’s something that just isn’t right. You can’t necessarily put your finger on what it is, or maybe it’s that something isn’t there, but you know something is off.
In my life, I’ve often felt like an impostor, there’s a term for it, the impostor syndrome. I’ve felt it in business, in art, even as a Minister. It’s that feeling where you think one day someone will finally figure out that you don’t always know what you’re doing.
Internally I think I’ve expected someone to walk up to me, scold me and say, ‘You should not be here! Go set down and let someone who knows what they’re doing, do what you’re wanting to do.’
As you may guess I’m a bit insecure, and I used to allow it to stop me in certain areas. While there’s a whole bushel of apples to pick from this basket, for now let’s stick with art. For years I wanted to try and paint, but I found a lot of excuses. It was either the expense, the lack of talent, or the reaction of people around me.
Finally I got either tired of worrying, or more curious than I was afraid. I think I was probably in my mid to late twenties when I finally bought stuff to try and paint. I can tell you, I was horrible, and I knew it. I didn’t admit it, but I knew it. My first paintings looked like a kindergartner had painted them, only probably not as good.
Still I was both proud of them, and embarrassed by them. I longed for them to be better, and I told myself I could get there, but then I packed them up and didn’t return for a few years. At one point I threw, I think, all of those first paintings away. I had once again given up, until a couple of things happened.
One I was given an iPad for my birthday, the first iPad, and I cherish that memory to this day for so many reasons. A lot are too personal to share here, but let’s just say I will never forget this gift. Among the apps I fell in love with was a painting application called ArtRage. This was before I ever discovered ProCreate.
I started drawing again, and it was still horrible, but better than it had been. I enjoyed it more than I was embarrassed at how amateurish the drawings were. I started sharing them, and I imagine people too kind to hurt my feelings wondered why I would post most of them. Truthfully today I’m surprised, but at the same time glad I did. It kept me trying.
FIrst, I’m no Rembrandt now, but at least I can make a tree look like a tree. However I’m so glad I didn’t allow my level of inability to stop me. I kept drawing, kept sharing, and thankfully people encouraged me. My wife decided at one point, it was time I not only try digital, but go back to physical painting.
It is another moment for which I’m so incredibly grateful. I love my wife, she is my most ardent supporter, and most accurate critic. If she likes a drawing, I feel on top of the world. If she doesn’t most of the time I don’t share it, because I value her opinion so dearly. Please understand, she still encourages me to share a drawing she doesn’t like, but if she doesn’t like it, usually that means I’ve missed something.
A thumbs up means it’s just okay, a heart means she really likes it. If she likes it, even if I have aspects I don’t think are good enough, I feel confident in her eye. If she thumbs down a picture in a text, that means it really, really needs work. I believe in her, not only because I love her, but because she believed and believes in me.
Ashley knows above most how loudly I can question myself and my abilities. When she reassures me, it doesn’t just stroke my ego, it strengthens my heart. As a Christian I can’t let this moment pass without at least saying, God places those special people in your life to hod you up when you feel too weak to stand. In art, and in life, don’t just find critics, find investors.
I’m an artist today because people have invested in my art, and I don’t mean in monetary value. They have encouraged me, taught me, critiqued in a loving way, and praised my successes. Complement, criticize, compliment is not only a way of leading people, it’s a way of enabling them to become better.
Maybe, like me, you struggle with the impostor syndrome in art, if not in life. I can only tell you this, those celebrity impostors on stage, they may be making their living acting like someone else, but it’s their brain, talent, skill, and time that caused them to succeed. They didn’t allow one bad performance to stop them, don’t you allow one bad picture to convince you to put up your pen.
Keep drawing, painting, building, or whatever creative venture you enjoy. So what if it looks like their nose is crooked, add a bit of shadow and redraw the line. The only painting that isn’t fixable, in some sense, is the one you never paint.
October 27, 2022
Sketch Inktober Happy Birthday T.R.
Happy Birthday President Theodore Roosevelt for October 27 Inktober
