Lee Ryder's Blog, page 24

Be careful what you say.....

I wanted to chime in on a certain model that said some cruel words to a woman. Why am I doing this...because body shaming sucks. So I thought I'd share my story.

I have always been overweight, not always but for 99 percent of my life I was and still am. Being overweight is not something I choose to do. I get up, I do what exercise I can, I do as much for my family as I can.

When I was in High School, I weighed 154 lbs. How do I remember this? Because 154 lbs brought me torture at the hands of bullies and shunning from many of my peers. My family didn't have money for the designer clothes that other people thought were the "in thing" So I did what I could with what I had, I had no need for designer clothes. They were just a name on a label, but again I was teased brutally for it. I had a few very close friends, I was hated by some, and ignored by many. People would tease kids that became my friends by saying "you're friends with ...... (insert my first and last name." And the hateful words did not just come from kids, I had a teacher in high school when I was very ill threaten to kick me out of class she told the nurse I was faking, she told the principal I was faking. Oh my mom fought for me and I thank her every day that she did because one fateful day and one right and thorough doctor finally figured out what was wrong. I'd had Mono for over 4 months and was misdiagnosed by more doctors than I can count. I felt vindicated, the teacher felt otherwise and made my remaining days in her class a living hell. Not all the teachers were like that....I had some incredible teachers who really really helped me through some of them were Mr. Witt, Mr. Weeks, Mrs. Miller and so many more.

With all the teasing that I took I tended to draw into myself, I was my biggest critic. After so many years through elementary and middle school I started believing them. I started seeing what they saw. And that is why that post makes me so angry. I've been thinking about writing this post for hours now and have taken pause to not write the angry things that spun through my head when I saw his post. Why am I repeating this now...I said that I started believing them and seeing what they saw. This feeling has haunted me to this day.

In high school I finally decided the only way to lose weight was not to eat anything, so I didn't. By my senior year I'd gotten down to 133lbs. I was still being teased for being fat. I was a medium framed five foot four girl and 133lbs was the low end of my ideal weight for my body type. I started getting sick more often and missed many days of school, however I continued this pattern. Looking back at the pictures from back then I can't believe how thin I was or how sick I looked. Still I believed my tormentors and saw only what they saw. Then one day I took 30 aspirin in an attempt to kill myself and put myself out of my misery. My mom fed me mustard water and I threw all the medicine up, the capillaries in my face broke and that brought on a new round of teasing with some kids saying "You failed at it try harder next time." I was devastated.

Needless to say dating was out of the question, if someone even showed an interest in me they were ruthlessly teased until they recanted and began teasing me themselves. I couldn't shake the bullying. There are a few who still to this day say cruel things, unfortunately for some people never grow up.

It wasn't until I got into college and a dear friend caught onto my pattern of not eating. (I was eating croutons and Catalina for lunch every day and very meager dinners. She told me I had to stop, or I was going to kill myself. She told me I was beautiful for who I was and damn the other people who thought I was ugly and every day she would sit with me and make sure I ate a good lunch and she and a few good friends came over for my birthday. I started feeling human again, these same friends got me through the loss of my grandfather, through the breakup with the boyfriend I thought was the one and through so many awful times in my life. I am still friends with them through the magic of facebook today. She saved my life (Thank you Ellen).

So when someone says something this incredibly cruel to someone who admires them I find it abhorrent. What if that person did just what you suggested? What if they went and ate a 380 calorie Blizzard then hung themselves. Would you feel vindicated....or guilty. I hope it is the latter. Then why say it in the first place? Why commit career suicide for your own cruel tendencies? Yes you deleted it but the damage is done! People are removing you from their book covers and there are so many authors who will never use you because you body shamed.

I still feel self conscious about my body and I've tried to lose weight. It's hard weight to come off gained after several years of steroid treatment for a cavernous angioma in my brain that bled after a car accident. Now I have several medical conditions that prevent me from being as active as I'd like to be or as active as I was before the accident, but at least I try. Overweight people aren't "lazy" there are many that try to lose the weight, me included and have a hard time doing it; they continue to try. You didn't know this girl or her story....so how dare you say anything at all.

Body shaming and bullying is an epidemic that has been around for many years. It's something that people should speak up about, and share their stories. I still have a hard time looking at myself in the mirror, I still see what they saw...

I once even had a boss say to me Big girls like you should watch what you eat..... without even knowing my story. It was post baby weight thank you....and that baby died of SIDS...yes the same baby you asked me to take the picture of down because it made other people sad. Of course I didn't do it, but this was a professional person in a Supervisor position!

It's an epidemic, people need to stop. See the beautiful person inside. Some people who are gorgeous outside, are ugly inside. Looks aren't everything and it is so true. So I am thankful for the body I've been given, and one day I'll be able to accept it as beautiful. Right now I think it's OK and that's fine for me! And for all women of all shapes and sizes. You are beautiful, you are amazing, and most of all you are loved <3 You are not alone!

Release BoostTitle: Sea of FlamesSeries: Second C...

  Release BoostTitle: Sea of FlamesSeries: Second ChancesAuthor: Madison StreetRelease Date: April 25, 2016         It’s been six months; six months since my life has rebooted. I feel like a changed man. I never would have guessed that my life would be like this, if you asked me. Six months ago, I was a New York City firefighter, battling my way through treacherous disasters, trying to find meaning in my life. Six months ago, I was heartbroken, alone, desperate— desperate to find her. To have her. To hold her. I had pined for her for years— ten years to be exact. Since the moment I first laid eyes on her, during my senior year of high school. Her pulsing emerald eyes bore deep into my soul. They were filled with wonder, calling me to dive deeper into the imagination of what could be. From that moment on, I knew I needed her. I had to have her.               Add to Goodreads Madison Street was born in New York City and was raised in the Bronx, where she resided until she was 17 years old. After 9/11, Madison joined the United States Navy to serve her country.During the deployments, Madison constantly wrote short stories and she discovered her passion for writing. You will find Madison always on the computer, whether she's on Facebook, designing websites, messing with Photoshop, or writing for her blog. Besides writing, her second passion is music and dance. Even though she's a terrible singer, she’ll still belt it out in the shower, especially if the song is her jam! She currently resides in Virginia with her husband of 8 years, 2 children, a dog, and a cat. She is so excited to start this amazing journey and is honored to be part of such a compassionate and loving community. Stalk MadisonFacebookAmazonGoodreadsWebsiteTwitterInstagramOther books by Madisonhttp://amzn.to/24C0sVp http://amzn.to/1ryMwgp    

Cover Reveal for Xyla Turner's Let's Ride!Blurb:"Dying to...

Cover Reveal for Xyla Turner's Let's Ride!

Blurb:
"Dying to talk to you, but too stubborn to start the conversation..."~ Unknown After one night together and a misunderstanding almost four years ago leaves Shay and Bronx not wanting to have anything to do with each other or so they think! Once, Shay's sex buddy wears out his welcome, and Bronx learns about the arrangement, all of the shit hits the fan. A run-in with another MC, since Shay's cousin's trouble, found its way into Manor puts Bronx in a position to help the woman he has dreamt of having for the last four years. The attempt they make at exploring their unrequited attraction is challenged when the full truth is revealed, and old mistakes come back to haunt them. Let's Ride is a book filled with excitement including the return of Lori, which completely shocks the small town of Manor and Dessy taking on an unexpected member of the Guardians.

NEW RELEASE BY TIM MILLER!

Check out this new release by the UBER talented Tim Miller 
Return to Hell TexasBy Tim Miller
Many years ago a group of travelers took a doomed trip through Hell, Texas. Not long after their fateful journey, the town was discovered by Texas DPS Trooper Garrett Parker. Garrett was promoted to Texas Ranger as a result of his heroics. Over a decade has passed since that fateful day. Yet something terrible is happening again. 
Motorists are vanishing without a trace and now children are disappearing from El Paso in record numbers. Garrett is sent back to the area to investigate. There is no way a town like Hell, Texas could still be functioning, but he can’t help the impending feeling of dread as he Returns to Hell Texas.
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Release Blitz Title: In the SpotlightAuthor: J.L....

  Release Blitz Title: In the SpotlightAuthor: J.L. OstleRelease: May 4, 2016       \        Sky Erikson, twenty-one-year-old goody, goody finally leaves her cruel life behind her and move in with her older sister Lake, the only other person who knows the hell she lived in. She knew her sister lived with a couple of guys from a band she manages 'Risen Knights,' but when she accidently meets Dominic, the lead guitarist of the band-well more like meeting him when being on all fours with her ass in the air, she wasn't expecting to feel this electric pull towards him. Dominic is a player, but when he meets her in his kitchen on the floor, her tight ass in front of his face he knew he wanted her, but finding out she is Lake's younger sister was one thing, but finding out she is a virgin is another. Dominic only has one rule and that's never to sleep with a virgin. He tries to keep his distance but after their lead singer doesn't show up to a gig, Sky takes her spot, in doing so he starts to see her in a new light. Seeing a side to her he never expected. Now being spotted and offered an opportunity of a lifetime, the catch being Sky has to be their new lead singer. Life as a rock star wasn't in her plans but how could she say no? Now having life in the spotlight, feelings get stronger, new people trying to pull them a part, the past waiting to destroy it all. New adult contemporary romance with mature content. Recommended for 17+ due to mature language and adult situations.   Add to Goodreads AMAZON         J.L. Ostle was born in Antrim, Northern Ireland, now living in Carlisle, England. J.L. Ostle is a full time mother looking after her cute, active little boy. When she she hasn't got her head stuck in a book or writing, she's watching movies, or doing activities with her friends and their children.
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Book: Hearts In DangerSeries: Heart #1Author: Fiona Wilso...

Book: Hearts In DangerSeries: Heart #1Author: Fiona WilsonGenre: Contemporary RomanceCover Designer: Francessca's PR & Design Hosted By: Francessca's Romance Reviews
Synopsis:

Rebecca believes there is good in everyone, even though it may be hidden in some more than others. She also believes in love at first sight, yet has never managed to find it.
In one fell swoop she has the chance to prove both of her theories right, but fate has something more in store for her. Can she hold on to the happiness she has found?
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About The Author

I am a Scottish lass born and bred, grew up in Ayrshire now live in Bonnybridge. An avid reader as a child, my love of books has grown with me. I am a blogger, although I am currently taking an extended break, a reviewer and a beta reader. I am a huge supporter of indie authors, and still can't quite believe I'm about to join such an amazing group of people.
I work full time as a nanny in Edinburgh. To break the monotony of rush hour traffic I occasionally find myself daydreaming on my way home. It was during one of these journeys that the idea for Hearts in Danger came to me. Knowing I had to get the story out of my head I took part in Nanowrimo 2015. By the end of the month I had not only written over 50,000 words, I had surprised myself by sticking to it every single day.
What happens next, who knows? Wherever this journey takes me, though, I will be forever grateful for the help and support I have had along the way from family, friends, bloggers, reviewers and authors alike.
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Reflections on Mother's day

Mother's day, always celebrated the first Sunday in May can be traced back to Greek and Roman times where festivals were held to celebrate the Gods. However Mother's day was truly created by a woman named Anna Jarvis in 1908 and wasn't accepted as a US holiday until 1914.  
It's a day where we celebrate our Mothers, who wouldn't want to do that. The woman who carried you inside of her and nurtured you for 9 - 10 months and then continued to carry you and nurture you the rest of your life. It's a very romantic notion......
Mother's day however means something wholly different to those who have lost a child. Those who have had still births, miscarriages, children die far too soon. No mother should bury their child. 

I am one of those women. 

In January of 1999 I gave birth to a healthy 6lb 9oz little boy named Nicholas Christian. I remember it well because it was Super Bowl weekend and my husband had happened to befriend a local radio celebrity and bond with him over the birth of their children. (He was wearing our Garth Brooks T-shirt and that sparked a conversation between the two of them) When you go in to have your child, the last thing on your mind is that your baby could die three months later with no warning. 
May 8, 1999. A typical Saturday morning also the day before Mother's Day. My husband asked me what I'd like to do for mother's day and after some thought I told him maybe it would be nice to go to the Cleveland Zoo with the boys. Granted it was a four hour trip to Ohio, but our boys were excellent travelers and we loved taking road trips so it wasn't a really big endeavor. 
The night before we'd gone to a Buffalo Sabres game that I'd won tickets to and we'd had a wonderful time. We'd left the boys with my parents for the evening and picked them up around 11PM. My husband wanted me to hold Nicholas in my lap that evening as we drove home, but I refused saying "He's much safer in his car seat." So we strapped him in with his brothers and headed home. 
My husband got up with the baby the next morning fed and changed him and laid him back down. We didn't know that this would be the last time he would do that for him. He came back to bed and we snuggled back down to sleep. He could have brought Nicholas into the bed with us but we were super cautious about that because we had a water bed. None of the boys were allowed to sleep in the bed with us because of our fears of the horror stories that happened with other children and water beds. 
Hours later my husband got up and I got up and I got in the shower. That was when he began to scream....
That day my son went to the arms of God. 
Since that day Mother's day took on a whole new meaning for me. It was the day that I went to a funeral home instead of celebrating. I was picking out caskets while other fathers were picking out flowers, I was mourning the loss of my son, while others were celebrating that they were mothers. 

Over the years I've always thought of Mother's Day with a feeling of dread. This year is no different. For me Mother's day is a reminder of the fact that there's someone missing. Every holiday there will be the thought, there's a stocking missing another plate at the table, there's someone missing. And that is the truth for thousands of Mothers this Mother's day. I always celebrated for the sake of my children, never for myself. Now as they have grown older and move out the realization comes over me again....there's someone missing. Nicholas would have been 17  this year. He would have been picking colleges and going to the prom. He and his younger sister would be fighting. But those things were never meant to be. My husband and I talked about the fact that if we'd had him, would we have tried for another child and the answer was yes. I can't imagine life without my beautiful daughter. She is our rainbow child and a light in our lives. 
But someone is missing......
This year of all years with both my boys out of the house it's hitting me harder the trials and tribulations and ongoing issues over the last few years and then being haunted by 

There's someone missing......
My oldest child, still not speaking to me for reasons of his own. My younger son out of state, and my daughter moving onto high school. So many things happening over the last few years. And there's someone missing.....


I'd been feeling so down because of all of this until I talked to a wise woman who I've been friends with for many years and consider a part of my family. More of a sister than a friend and a true angel in my life. She said something that really made me think. "Mother's day is only a date on the calendar, you can celebrate it and celebrate life ANY and EVERY day." 
So this year, for the first time in many years. I'm not celebrating being a mother. I'm celebrating the life I have. It's a pretty good one.....I'm also celebrating the memory of my son and I know he's around me and with me every day and loving me. I'm celebrating life.
For all the Mothers and Grandmothers out there I hope you celebrate life this Mother's day. Celebrate the beautiful life you have all the memories that you share and the years to come. And always keep in your mind to be thankful because somewhere for another family someone IS missing....
So instead of counting your problems always always count your blessings <3 

This is me, my daughter, and my amazing beautiful and incredibly loved Mom.


Happy Mother's Day

Dial L for LyndabyTracey Jane Jackson & Amanda W...

Dial L for LyndabyTracey Jane Jackson & Amanda WashingtonRelease Date: May 1, 2016

Despite their economic and social differences, Addison Allen and Harley James have been inseparable since sixth grade. But when Harley is arrested for the murder of her ex-boss, prison bars threaten to be the one thing that finally comes between them.
The body left on Harley’s doorstep proves to be too problematic for even Addison’s enormous bank account, forcing the duo to roll up their sleeves and search for the murderer themselves. Working to prove Harley’s innocence brings out an unexpected passion for investigating a knack for uncovering the buried truth.
However, their freshly-acquired skills propel them into a dangerous new world full of lies, secrets, and quite possibly…romance.
Will they be able to keep Harley out of jail? Or will they lose their hearts, and maybe even their lives, in the process?


Amazon US: http://tinyurl.com/zquvcck
Amazon UK: http://tinyurl.com/z698x48B&N: http://tinyurl.com/jzjjjh6Kobo: http://tinyurl.com/gpyjboliTunes: http://tinyurl.com/zxmdxu2







Tracey Jane JacksonTracey Jane Jackson is the NY Times Bestselling author of the popular Cauld Ane Series and has over half a million books in print.
Tracey was born and raised in New Zealand and with an American father, Scottish grandmother, and Kiwi mother, it's no doubt she has a unique personality.
She has been happily married and gooey in love with her husband for over twenty years. They live in the Pacific Northwest with their two sons.
BE SURE TO VISIT FACEBOOK FOR SPECIAL DISCOUNTS (www.facebook.com/traceyjanejackson)

Amanda WashingtonAmanda Washington first put her dreams to paper in 1999. She's written mafia fiction (MAKING ANGEL and BREAKING BONES), dystopian (RESCUING LIBERTY and LIBERTY'S HOPE) and young adult (FALLEN, CUT, FORSAKEN) genres. When she's not writing, she's busy living out her real adventure in southwest Washington with her husband and their five boys. 
http://www.amandawashington.net/ - Websitehttps://www.facebook.com/AmandaWashin... - Facebook author page@AmandaWash - twitter
Books:Making Angel: Mariani Crime Family 1 (November 2015)Breaking Bones: Mariani Crime Family 2 (March 2016)Rescuing Liberty, Book 1 of the Perseverance Series (September 2013)Liberty's Hope, Book 2 of the Perseverance Series (February 2014)Fallen: Chronicles of the Broken 1 (May 2014)Cut: Chronicles of the Broken 2 (July 2014) Forsaken: Chronicles of the Broken 3 (November 2014)

Release BlitzTitle: Carnival of SoulsAuthor: Lee RyderRel...

Release BlitzTitle: Carnival of SoulsAuthor: Lee RyderRelease Date: April 30, 2016 Beware Ye the Carnivalthat comes in the night.Beware ye the evils hidingbehind those bright lights.Beware ye, beware thehypnotic soundsof music and laughterand brightly painted clowns.Beware ye these strangersfrom a strange land,for no soul is safeat the carnival of the damned. AMAZON ●▬▬▬▬▬▬๑★๑▬▬▬▬▬●JOIN THE FACEBOOK PARTY●▬▬▬▬▬▬๑★๑▬▬▬▬▬●   '  Lee Ryder is a mother of 3 children and one angel. She currently lives in New England. She started writing small works at an early age and was featured in local publications. She studied theater and vocal performance and was featured in several plays. She believes in love at first sight and married her soul mate at age 19. She also has read reviewed and edited other published works. You can visit her at her blog and on her on Facebook: Facebook Website Amazon 
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Cover RevealTitle: Reapers Creed MC: Damon's Salv...

  Cover RevealTitle: Reapers Creed MC: Damon's SalvationSeries: Reapers Creed MCAuthor: Ana RossoCover Designer: Indies InDesignRelease Date: May 16, 2016        When Reapers Creed's single, sexy VP, Damon,has one night with a trick, the impossible becomes reality.Lyra, a slave for Los Diablos MC, needs to find a way to escape her terrible life. One night she gets offered to please a client.Can she work this to her advantage? Get the freedom she so desperately wants?Add to Goodreads

    I was born and raised in a Caribbean island surrounded by sun and beautiful beaches. Now give me mountains, silence, cold weather, canvases, paint, and a bunch of books and I'm happy. I love happy endings, romance, fairy tales, and alpha males. I always dreamed of putting my thoughts and dreams on paper. I wanted to share my happy place where everything is possible and the ski is the limit. I have everything in the world that you can dream of. A lovely husband, three amazing kids, two annoying cats and four dragons(bearded dragons but still dragons). Great friends and the rest of the world to share my passion with.
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