Jennifer Lauck's Blog, page 21

Listen In: 11/3 Teleseminar - Uncertainty

How do I know how I think until I see what I say? ~ E.M. Forester


We look at how a writer can exists in "not knowing" how the book is going to turn out and how a writer can cope with so much uncertainty and still create!

Listen In:






Do not miss next week: Anne Edelstein, my editor, agent and friend will be on the call to take your questions on how to submit to a literary agent!

Friday: Catching up & Announcements

The best announcement is that this weblog is back on track! I have developed the new teaching site and that has been eating all my spare time and depriving this site of attention!

And there is a time when a writer has to wonder: "how many weblog's do I need anyway?"

The answer, for me, is that this page has been up and running since 2005. That's seven years of weblogging. My writing at this site dates back to a time when web-logging was just beginning and none of us knew what to do with this format of communication.

I am going to keep this site going and use this weblog for the less formal check in. This site is for "casual observations" and insights on writing. And it's a place to relax a little. That's the beauty of the weblog. It's personal.

Welcome and welcome back!

~

The photo up there was taken last week while I spent the day with my birth mother, birth sister and birth cousin. It's a lot of "birth" on the page but there you have it. I am an adoptee in reunion and we are in "the fun part" stage of reunion. The charge is gone and now it's the "get to know each other and relax phase." We had an all day spa treatment at a casino in Reno. That's something to love Reno for. You get an all-day pass to a spa for having just one treatment. We all had pedicures. I had a blast. And while I was here, I also did a live interview with Linda Joy Meyers who hosted her bi annual Memoir telesummit. Listen In.

The reunion with my mom is going as well as it can go. We are happy together. Forgiveness has taken place. I am blessed! My sister and I are on an even keel and I get to make friends with my cousin too. How can I wish for more than that?

This brings me to my first Announcement:

Every month, I am in Reno to teach a class hosted by the fabulous, inspiring and generous Carol Purroy. I will be there, Nov. 18th & 19th. On November 18th, I appear at the Carson City Library to read from Found and will teach a Scene Writing Class on Nov. 19th, in Reno. Write me for details! Jennifer(at)Jenniferlauck.com

Being in Reno each month gives me a chance to see my mom, build relationship and go home. It's fabulous. I'm over the "reunion hump."

Announcement #2: Adoption Awareness Month. I'm hosting several free conversations about adoption and healing. I talk with professionals and adoptees and birth mothers, all about this issue of getting through our adoption wounds. Please sign up, please spread the word, please sign up! It's free.

~
Those who are closest to me know that I was in a pretty nasty car wreck on September 11. This was following a reading at Powell's on Hawthorne, where I had read a very upbeat story titled Let it Be which is featured in this month's Shambala Sun. I am so honored to be included in Shambala Sun, which is an important publication. My essay was also tagged and placed in a collection on relationships titled Right Here with You: Bringing Mindfulness into our Relationships. Please go out, read these wonderful essay's and spread the word.

And, I'm okay. My beloved friend and co-teacher, Anne, was with me at the time of the accident. We were both badly hurt and shaken, of course. We are healing and have the best medical attention we could hope to get. Physical therapy from a remarkable German woman I am coming to adore, acupuncture from one of the authentic healers I have encountered in my journey thus far and energy work from a long time healer I also love. Anne and I will mend and we both agree, as we hike through the trees and replay the event again and again, we are better for the experience. Keep your eye out for the essay!!!

Final Announcement: Two Winter Classes worth taking. Please read about these on the other site and send me your questions. These classes are available now through streaming. You can participate! Join us.

Holiday Craft Series

Winter Master Class

See you on the site this week and please, leave your comments! Tell me how you are faring in this crazy world!

Book Talk: Live Through This by Debra Gwartney

Book Talk is back and I'm happy to present Clover Cohen, who is a long time student in my Master Class and fine, fine writer. Cloie is one to watch! Enjoy her insights on memoir. She's a hard working writer who is paying her dues.

By Clover Cohen

Being honest on the page is hard. Being honest with yourself and others is even harder. Our brains hide the truth, mask the memories, twist and re-construct our experiences to make it possible for us to live another day. If a writer, even when her work is non-fiction, knows where the story is going, then she does not leave her ears open to the boundless possibilities that hover between her brain matter and the universe. Knowing the destination blocks the channel that will guide her ideas and impressions down to her fingers where they will write or type them into existence.

I was drawn to Debra Gwartney's memoir because of the title, Live Through This. Badass, feminist, punk rocker Courtney Love had titled her 1994 album the same. It was actually her band, with the vulgar and ironic name, Hole, who made the album. To me it was just she and her husband, Kurt Cobain, who I heard singing in those songs. The lyrics were raw and brutally honest and hit spot-on the way I felt in 1994 as 21-year-old girl. They articulated my cynicism and darkness, voiced my distrust and contempt, yet they also captured my deep-rooted hope and optimism.

Courtney and Kurt lived my version of the modern fairy tale. They were talented, rich, and passionate for each other. Their fairy tale was rooted in reality though, not the sticky sweet pink fluffy Disney version. Their tale was made imperfect by heroin addictions and mental instabilities. But these two were out there. They were unguarded. They told the truth.

When I picked up Live Through This: A Mother's Memoir of Runaway Daughters and Reclaimed Love, I was eager to find out what the author had "lived through". For me, the title intimated survival. I was looking for an inspirational story to keep me company on my own journey through memoir.

I didn't know I would read the words that sounded like my own mother's story of divorce and struggle with her adolescent daughters (my sister and I). Reading this book was like being inside Mom's head. Both the author and Mom were foolish, brave, instinctive and terribly flawed. The author chose the wrong man and the wrong life, and as a result, her daughters suffered the consequences.

Debra showed us when she failed as a mother to her teenage daughter,

Stephanie reached out to me in small, calculated ways—and I reached out to her in small, calculated ways. But I couldn't find enough strength in myself to make something big or important happen between us. Amanda was closer, and, stuck as she was with the ranchers, I was convinced she needed me more than her sister did—an opt-out that would haunt me for years.

When you have four daughters as the author does, it's inevitable that one will take priority either while they are in infancy or addicted to heroin or need to get to their horseback-riding lesson.

Debra showed us her strength and resilience.

[image error] I couldn't have her coming and going whenever she wanted from our house anymore. I couldn't let her do that to Mary and Mollie. And though I'd given her a variation of this ultimatum many times before, this time I meant it. And this time she heard me.

Debra's unconditional love for her daughter made it possible for them all to survive, and one day, come back together and heal,

Stephanie and I walked the streets of her town, hiked in her woods, swam in her river, cooked in her kitchen, drank cold beer in her favorite cafes, and somehow we found our way back to each other without the explanations I once thought would be required. I've not asked why and she's not said why, and month after month, the why of our once–separation becomes less important.

Here, the resolution they have is not tidy or how the author had envisioned. A bond between mother and child can just do that sometimes, rebuild.

Live Through This makes me want to tell the story from the flip side. From the troubled teenage daughter's point of view, who did not run away from her mother, but suffered and survived like Debra's girls had. Live Through This reminds me to show the story, show Mom and myself in our full forms. Live Through This also inspires me to seek honesty and the truth and to welcome the surprises.

Writing Tip #10: Go Vertical

Grow from writing "Dick & Jane" style sentences, created for early readers and be a complex story teller. Do this by going vertical.

To "go vertical" means go deep and to also go high. You are invited to infuse aspects of your story with detail which could range from sensory (taste, touch, smell, hearing, sight) to observational.

EXAMPLE:

You could write: The little boy pulled a wagon down the street. The wagon was full of sticks.


Or you could go vertical and write: Henry, four years old and not more than three feet tall, used two hands to tug his one Radio Flyer—candy apple red—down Skidmore Street. A pile of twigs, perhaps thirty in all, were stacked Lincoln Log style in a crisscross pattern that was stable but also unstable evidenced by the way the pile teetered right to left and left to right. Henry sported a pair of khaki shorts, the kind with so many pockets upon pockets upon pockets—big, small, deep, shallow—and each of these pockets bulged heavy with secreted chestnuts, feathers, rocks and bits of rubber collected from the road. Only the twigs, on display for all to see, were evidence of his obsessive collecting habit.

The first sentence is easier to write, and certainly faster, but it is also flat language. Memorable stories are built on the images we create with our word choices and when we unpack our sentences, we dip down into the deep well of description.

A simple way to think of this tip is that every time a significant noun (ie: a person such as Henry or a thing like the twigs or his wagon) presents itself in your story, stop and consider adding at least three levels of detail/description that can actually draw the noun into an image that another can see in their own mind. (IE: A pile of twigs, (1) perhaps thirty in all, (2) were stacked Lincoln Log style in a (3) crisscross pattern that was (4) stable but also unstable evidenced by the way (5) the pile teetered right to left and left to right. In this example, I use five additional details to describe the twigs).

Going vertical is also an opportunity for the writer to enter the story via their own memory or interpretation of what they are describing. This phenomenon is beautifully described in Tell it Slant by Brenda Miller, where she writes (pg. 30) about people who write about nature and then pushes on to talk about how important it is to go beyond just weighty description and infuse work with "human consciousness." IE: "While fine description is dandy, it tends to wear thin after a while. Even if your prose about the soft rosy beauty of the alpenglow is first rate, if you don't move beyond that, readers are likely to want to put down your writing and go see for themselves. What holds readers...is the sense of a human consciousness moving through...."

….(let's pick up with the Henry tale)….

As I watched the little boy from my front window, I thought of myself so long ago. Had I ever been that young? Had I ever been that small? Had I ever been that strong? What had happened to the boy in me who collected everything—pennies, bugs, dried leaves. My goodness, I even collected moss from trees and bits of shells from our trips to the sea when even a small fragment of a sand dollar or a conch seemed as rare and as valuable as silver and gold.

Going vertical mean, quite literally, to be perpendicular to the surface. The vertical line goes up and down verses side to side. When you go vertical, there is the opportunity to expand your writing to add dimension and perspective.

NOW YOU TRY THIS:

PROMPT. Go outside and sit still for a bit. Look around. Look up, down, right, left and so on. Feel the wind, the cool, the sun. Listen to the birds, the traffic and the dog that barks across the street. Be for a while.

Now write, 20 minutes at the most and try to infuse your writing with both details and your own consciousness. Submit here, in the comment section and I'll make some suggestions and give feedback! Good luck.

Listen In: 10/27 Teleseminar

This call about downloading, which is the essential and too often passed over first step to memoir writing. Listen in on the call and take notes. This was a helpful conversation that will help you become a better memoir writer!







Learn more about how to download: Click Here

Announcing: Adoption Awareness Month

Did you know that every November a Presidential Proclamation launches activities and celebrations nationwide to increase awareness around adoption?

It's true.

Adoption is a huge deal in the U.S. with 125,000 children adopted annually according to the Evan B. Donaldson Institute.

As a two time adoptee, I join this national conversation to offer a unique forum of conversation--the live teleseminar--to discuss HEALING & THE ADOPTEE. Adoptees are too often shoved into a corner, most often a place we put ourselves. We are the silent sufferers and we are the adaptors.

Can we speak up?
Can we share our stories?
Can we transcend our adoptions?

Each conversation this month will take on these questions and more!

Schedule

Wed, Nov. 2 & 9 @ 1:15 p.m. PST to 2:45 p.m. PST
Featuring: Jeanette Yoffe, Trish Lay & Brian Stanton

Jeanette Yoffe, M.A., M.F.T., earned her Masters in Clinical Psychology, specializing in children, from Antioch University in June of 2002. She treats children with serious psychological problems secondary to histories of abuse, neglect, and /or multiple placements. She has specialized for the past 10 years in the treatment of children who manifest serious deficits in their emotional, cognitive, and behavioral development.


[image error] Trish Lay coaches & motivates people to make positive life change. As an adoptee, she has asked herself: "Who am I?" As she got older it turned to "What is life's purpose for me?" Trish asks these questions of herself and poses them to others. She has been a force of motivation and inspiration for twenty years.


Brian Stanton wrote about his reunion and issues around identity in his original solo play BLANK, performed in L.A., NY, Kansas City, Dallas, and Orlando. BLANK has also been seen at national adoption conferences for the Concerned United Birth-parents & The American Adoption Congress. In March of 2012, Brian will bring BLANK to the Alliance for the Study of Adoption and Culture 4th International Conference in Claremont, CA.


Watch an except from BLANK:




Sunday, Nov. 13 @ 11:00 a.m PST
Featuring: Nancy Verrier, Speaker, Author & Therapist

As a licensed MFT (marriage and family therapist) Nancy Verrier has been practicing psychotherapy and counseling in Lafayette, California, for over 20 years. Her specialty is working with people affected by relinquishment and adoption. Her books include the groundbreaking Primal Wound & Coming Home to Self.




Sunday, Nov. 20 @ 11 a.m. PST

Featuring: John Sobraske, MA Adoption Attachment Counseling
DETAILS TO COME

Do not miss these incredible conversations which will also be recorded and provided to those who sign up! CLICK ON THIS LINK, scroll down to the registration form, sign up and I will send a confirmation of your registration for these events and details on how to join in the calls.

Listen In: 10/20 Teleseminar

Michelle O'Neil, author of The Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar , graced us with her presence and her perspective about self publishing in today's market.

You will be surprised and delighted by the opportunities available to writers today. There are lots of options for you and your art.

Listen and please, leave your comment. Tell me your publishing story below and share this recording.

Adoption Awareness Month: Can We Heal?

Did you know that every November a Presidential Proclamation launches activities and celebrations nationwide to increase awareness around adoption?

It's true.

Adoption is a huge deal in the U.S. with 125,000 children adopted annually according to the Evan B. Donaldson Institute.

As a two time adoptee, I join this national conversation to offer a unique forum of conversation--the live teleseminar--to discuss HEALING & THE ADOPTEE. Adoptees are too often shoved into a corner, most often a place we put ourselves. We are the silent sufferers and we are the adaptors.

Can we speak up?
Can we share our stories?
Can we transcend our adoptions?

Each conversation this month will take on these questions and more!

Schedule

Wed, Nov. 2 & 9 @ 1:15 p.m. PST to 2:45 p.m. PST
Featuring: Jeanette Yoffe, Trish Lay & Brian Stanton

Jeanette Yoffe, M.A., M.F.T., earned her Masters in Clinical Psychology, specializing in children, from Antioch University in June of 2002. She treats children with serious psychological problems secondary to histories of abuse, neglect, and /or multiple placements. She has specialized for the past 10 years in the treatment of children who manifest serious deficits in their emotional, cognitive, and behavioral development.


[image error] Trish Lay coaches & motivates people to make positive life change. As an adoptee, she has asked herself: "Who am I?" As she got older it turned to "What is life's purpose for me?" Trish asks these questions of herself and poses them to others. She has been a force of motivation and inspiration for twenty years.


Brian Stanton wrote about his reunion and issues around identity in his original solo play BLANK, performed in L.A., NY, Kansas City, Dallas, and Orlando. BLANK has also been seen at national adoption conferences for the Concerned United Birth-parents & The American Adoption Congress. In March of 2012, Brian will bring BLANK to the Alliance for the Study of Adoption and Culture 4th International Conference in Claremont, CA.


Watch an except from BLANK:




Sunday, Nov. 13 @ TBA PST
Featuring: Nancy Verrier, Speaker, Author & Therapist

As a licensed MFT (marriage and family therapist) Nancy Verrier has been practicing psychotherapy and counseling in Lafayette, California, for over 20 years. Her specialty is working with people affected by relinquishment and adoption. Her books include the groundbreaking Primal Wound & Coming Home to Self.




Sunday, Nov. 20 @ TBA PST

Featuring: John Sobraske, MA Adoption Attachment Counseling
DETAILS TO COME

Do not miss these incredible conversations which will also be recorded and provided to those who sign up! CLICK ON THIS LINK, scroll down to the registration form, sign up and I will send a confirmation of your registration for these events and details on how to join in the calls.

Writing Tip #9: To Self Publish or Not?

Michelle O'Neil and I have known each other for at least eight years. She was my first student, in my first workshop, high in the mountains of Colorado. My first writing workshop was eclectic and terrifying. Michelle and I became fast friends and I've followed her writing path ever since. She has gone on to create a wonderful weblog and to form writing collectives in her world (all while raising to kids and sustaining her marriage to Hot-Toddy). Michelle is a dynamo and I am so happy to feature her this week in my teleseminar series. Michelle will tell us about her decision to go the route of independent publishing. I hope you enjoy her insights and are inspired to think about your own project in a new light.

Do not miss this free teleseminar, Thurs, Oct. 20th at 11:30 a.m. Send your questions to me at Jennifer@jenniferlauck.com.

Register Here Now!




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I decided to publish Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar independently because I value my work and wanted to make it available for people to read. The traditional publishing industry is quite unhealthy right now, and it seemed like a good idea to take another mode of transportation, rather than beg for admission on a sinking ship.

Literary agents kept telling me, "The writing is beautiful, but I don't think I can sell your book." I am not a celebrity. I've no big platform to stand on. With less money to throw around these days, it's my belief that most traditional publishers want ready made superstars and are not as interested in finding talented new authors to cultivate. While I felt I'd eventually land an agent, I also worried my sweet little book would get lost in that world. I believe some books need time.

Indie publishing allows me to publish and build a readership through word of mouth. I don't have to worry about earning out an advance. I don't have to worry about being dropped (yet locked into a contract) if my book doesn't sell like gangbusters right out of the gate. I can keep fanning the flame, and I am learning so much through this process about book publishing and about myself.

Many traditionally published authors give up a lot of money and creative control in exchange for someone else who handles the details. While I'd rather be writing than learning all about royalties, formatting and cover making, I accept that all this effort and research will serve me down the road, especially with the rising emergence of e-books. We all love a book in hand but the ease of e-readers is changing everything. Savvy authors are reluctant to give publishing houses huge cuts for the electronic versions of their books, since it costs practically nothing to distribute them. Below are some tips for those interested in indie publishing:

1) Hire professional editors! Shop around. SheWrites has an "Experts for Hire" section with many resources.

2) Hire professional formatters to fit your MS into the different e-reader device formats. While you can do this yourself, there is a learning curve and it is cheap to hire out. Smashwords has their own list of people willing to do this for about $35.00, and their format fits most e-reader devices. I also had success with a company called Kindle Conversion getting my book formatted for Amazon's Kindle Store, for $75.00.

3) Make your book available in as many formats as possible. Daughter of the Drunk at the Bar is available in paperback on Amazon, in e-book form on Smashwords, (where it can be downloaded for reading on your computer screen or virtually any e-reader, and Amazon's Kindle Store. I am also looking into making an audio version, for Podiobooks, which would be available on a good faith donation basis. It is important to provide readers ease of access to your to your work.

With e-books and print-on-demand options, it costs very little to self-publish these days. Would you consider taking this route to get your writing out there? Why or why not?

Some links of interest for those considering self-publishing:

JAFO

Several goodies from JA Konrath here, here, and here.

Bob Mayer on David Gaughran

Women on Writing

Publisher's Weekly

Write a Vivid Scene in Seven Steps

Phase II: Craft Your Memoir
Write a Vivid Scene in Seven Easy Steps
MP3 Download & PDF Handouts

$125.00 value for just $7.50

You will learn:
1. how to place your narrator in the moment.
2. how make your writing alive and vivid.
3. how to notice nature and bring into your writing.
4. the definition of a scene.
5. why scene matters and what are the key elements.

Download and Go