Josh Langley's Blog, page 18

Being You is Enough Book Trailer

So what do you think is the most important thing a kid should know?
You’ll love the responses that these kids gave! #beingyouisenough


Big thanks to all the mums and kids that helped out in the making of this video, you are the bomb! Being You Is Enough is available online now and also in stores.


 

Don't fall for all this 'busy' stuff!

(NOTE: I originally wrote this while I was gainfully employed. There’s an interesting post script at the end)

 I’m not busy. It’s just a normal day at work and I’ve been at my desk for a couple of hours and I need to get up and walk around. I stop and think before I head off. Have I been busy? No. Am I stressed? No.  Then I’m in trouble. If I walk around the office looking relaxed, people will think I’m not busy and may even go as far as to think I’m lazy and unproductive. My job maybe on the line. So I arm myself with a pen and note pad and stride out into the corridor with a sense of purpose and mission. Heaven help me if I dawdle and daydream along the way. So here I am mildly rushing around the office brandishing a pad and pen and I have no idea where I’m going. All I wanted to do was just get up and stretch my legs. However because everyone else is so busy (I assumed they were from their furrowed brows, short sharp sentences and tense walking style) that I needed to look busy too. What the hell have we all created?I’m a writer, an advertising copywriter to be precise, and I spend most of my paid working hours staring blankly off into space waiting for inspiration for the used car yard business I’m working on to land in my lap. However other people need to see me at my desk typing away like Dolly Parton in the film 9 to 5, to think I’m actually working and being productive.

I end up living my work life as a charade, a pantomime in the celebration of the idiocy of busy. From my 20 odd years experience of working and ‘being busy’, I noticed it never actually produced anything of any benefit expect for stress, mediocre outcomes and strained work relationships. That’s from my personal experience and from observation by walking around carrying a pen and notepad. What is wrong with working at a steady pace, doing a job well and actually enjoying it in the process? I feel you actually get more effective work done and are happier doing it. However it’s the big perception that you have to be busy to be productive. The negative fallout from being quiet or just steady is a kin to killing a small puppy or swearing in front of your mother – it’s just not done. It’s the double guilt paradigm that starts to occur.  It works like this. I’m not busy, my workload is completely manageable and I’m enjoying it. However everyone in other departments is busy and look stressed or I think they are. So I feel guilty and start to pretend to look busy when I walk around or If I’m asked by anyone I say, ‘Yeah I’m so busy’.  But what if everyone else is doing the same as me? What if we all are playing the busy charade and we’re all just bullshitting to each other when in fact we could be fostering genuine relationships and a healthy work environment that’s not based on fear and anxiety, but respect, joy and sense of purpose?
Imagine that?But just as you get to the heart of the matter someone says ‘Let’s hold a meeting’. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind a good meeting, if it doesn’t go too long and there are agreed outcomes, however I’ve noticed that to perpetuate the illusion of busy, people hold meetings just for the sake of them. ‘We need more staples’‘Ok, send me a Calender request and we’ll discuss the mutual agreed outcomes on there being more staples available to the staff at certain times during the financial year.’ ‘No, just order more staples’. Being busy doesn't mean being more productive, it's an illusion, don’t fall for it.  I can either perpetuate the busy illusion or tear it down by being more comfortable and genuine in my work. Why should I worry about what others think, when I know I’m doing a good job? It’s working from that soft, genuine spot inside myself that doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone, doesn’t need to impress people or is fearful of outcomes.  When I tune into that aspect, I don’t need to hurry down the corridor brandishing a pen and notepad and when someone asks me how I’m going, I can reply with ‘Yeah, good thanks, really good’. Then other people may feel comfortable coming out of the ‘I’m so busy’ closet too.  What is your workplace like? Have you experienced this ‘busyness’ and is there something you do to counteract it?


If you want cause some friendly civil disobedience at work, you could always walk the corridors brandishing the Frog and the Well 'Be Less Busy' coffee cup.  



   Learning to be true to yourself takes bravery and it may seem you are up against all of society's expectations and delusions, but when it comes to your own personal sanity and happiness, you have to think about what is really important.  My book Follow Your Heart - Everyday wisdom for an extraordinary life, is a message I wrote for myself that I use to remind me of what I really want and need. It might help you too.

 Post script: Well my prophesy came half true, I chose to no longer work for that employer and now I run my own advertising business where I can work at my own pace which also gives me time to work on my books, illustrationsand finger painting sessions.  

Dying to Know reaches the US

If you're in the US, you can be like Joan and Becky and grab your copy of Dying to Know from these places. 1. order at your local bookshop.
2. order at Target Online.
3. order from the distributor Casemate IPM  

Finger Painting for Grown Ups

I used to paint about 13 years ago in a very abstract and freeform Jackson Pollock meets Zen kind of way, yet in the last couple of years I’ve been toying with  the idea of finger painting for adults as a way of practising mindfulness and getting out of my own head. I discovered finger painting is very sensory experience and felt my whole body getting into it. I hate being delicate and this was a perfect way of being tactile with paint and just ‘playing with it’ without having to be perfect or nice. I’m not out to impress anybody or make a statement, that takes too much energy.  For me the idea is about having no expectation of what I’m going to do with the paint, just see what happens in the moment.  



I could imagine that perfectionists would have hard time getting into it, but with a little time they’d be able to experience it for what it was; a chance to let loose and enjoy creative freedom.

 In Dying to Know I said “We are born creative; it’s our right to express ourselves in whatever way suits us. Allowing ourselves to be creative prevents us from becoming depressed, tight-arsed whingers thinking the world owes us a living. No-one owes us anything; the only thing we owe ourselves is joy.”


Letting go of perfection and expectation.    Mind you Andy (who is overcoming perfectionist syndrome) still likes to have an idea for when he paints as indicative of his landscape above. So finger painting really is for everyone.


I feel drawn to start finger painting sessions (not classes as there’s nothing to learn, it’s mostly about unlearning) where people can just be free for a couple of hours and let their inner creative beast come out. I could imagine it could be great for anxiety, depression, being in your head too much and letting go of stress. There’s no painting by numbers, no drawing between the lines or even the need to paint anything, it’s all about being in the moment, using your fingers and let them go where they want.
That's the kind of mental freedom we all could do with.
Here's 6 easy steps to Unblock your creative side.

Passata making festival

Andy and I were lucky enough to be invited by homesteader, food forager and passionate foodie, Wink Lindsay to help make passata. I’d heard that making passata can be quite an involved process and it is, however when you throw together some great people, brilliant wine and awesome food, then it becomes more like a festival.    
You start with 30 kilos of roma tomatoes from the Italian market gardener down the road.


  Andy chopping the tomatoes. I love the apron Wink gave to Andy to wear.   Wink showing Andy how to put the tomatoes in the sieve which squeezes the crap out them while removing the seeds and skins. (I had to use step ladder)     While everyone worked hard I read cook books.    Then we opened a bottle of local wine, the award winning Different Drummer from Bakkheia Wines. It was decided that lunch was needed, so Wink’s husband Dave showed Andy how simple it was to make fettuccini from scratch.

   See, easy to make!

 I followed Wink out to her wild and untamed veggie garden to forage for fresh stuff to throw in the pasta sauce and the salad for lunch.  Newly made passata was simply added to the sautéed veggies and garlic and there you have it, instant pasta sauce in minutes and it didn’t come from a jar. Thanks to Wink's good friend Tash for making it.  The bottling begins.   The bottles are then wrapped in old cloth nappies so they don’t clink against each other when they’re heated. The only sound of clinking you want to hear is that of wine glasses as you celebrate the end of the day!    
Lunch time, my favourite part of the day. Penne with homemade basil pesto. I’m salivating.
 A little bit everything goes into my bowl. Get your own.    Everything you see on the table was either grown by Wink or sourced locally.



The end product, bottles of passata ready to use as a base for any sauce including Italian, Mexican, Moroccan or Indian. The bottles keep for a couple of years in the cupboard. Wink will have her own blog soon where she'll share her journey to turn the front of her property into a food forest.

Cooking shouldn't be a competition or difficult to do. Check here for host of simple meal ideas that'll have you salivating.  
  

Dying to Know available direct in the US

Just found out from my publisher, Big Sky Publishing, that Dying to Know now has a US distributor, Casemate IPM US and UK. This is fantastic news as people in the US can now order the book from their local bookshop or department store.Previously anyone outside of Australia and New Zealand had to order the book and have it posted from here and pay hefty freight costs. Thanks to Denny and the team at Big Sky, people in the US no longer have to do that. How to order Dying to Know if you’re in the US.
Ask at your local bookshop. Target Online: Direct from the distributor Casemate IPM.
The other great news is that The Frog and the Well Books, Unconventional Happiness and Follow Your Heart will be available shortly in the US as well.

The books that'll help you make sense of life (and one that may not)

I spent a lot of 2015 writing my own books, ‘BeingYou is Enough’ and TurningInside Out  hence not leaving as much time to read others, however I did manage to enjoy some gems.
Big Magic - Elizabeth Gilbert I found myself wondering if Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat Pray Love) had been peering into my head because she says exactly same things I often say or think. She validates my own idea that everyone is creative and needs to express themselves, no matter who they are. Gilbert normalises self expression and delivers her message in a down to earth manner, with maybe a little ‘magic’ thrown in. (I went against her advice of not quitting your day job though!)
Help Thanks Wow - Anne Lamott I love Anne’s humour and self deprecating style, I think it’s something that’s infused into my own writing. If you’re ever feeling a little lost or overwhelmed by life, read Help Thanks Wow and you’ll be able to face life again with a little more lightness.
The Colossus of Maroussi – Henry Miller I f**king love Greece and Henry’s book, (even though written in the late 30’s) describes the country and the people that I also experienced. After writing the Tropic Of Cancerabout his hedonistic time in Paris, he was invited by fellow writer, Laurence Durrell to spend some time on the Island of Corfu. Henry instantly fell in love with the place and travelled like a nomad all over Greece for a year where he vowed not to write a single word so he could completely immerse himself in the experience. By the end when he begrudgingly had to go back to the States, he felt transformed by the great spiritual awakening that Greece had given him.
Orb Insights and Inspirations – Lexene Burns Whether you believe in orbs as spiritual beings or just specks of dust on the camera lens, it doesn’t matter as Lexenehas taken some extraordinary photographs and conveys some incredible messages of hope and wisdom that we all could benefit from.
The Map of Heaven – Dr Eben Alexander. In the follow up to his hugely successful account of his Near Death Experience in Proof of Heaven , Eben goes further and tries to connect the dots from all the similar stories he’s received to his own experience and subsequent mediations and consciousness exploration. I couldn’t help but notice that my new book, shares some of the same ideas about pulling the stories together and teasing out the core messages and insights.
The Magus – John Fowles I must admit, I’m only half way through the Magus and I will finish it I promise, but I got bored with it. Again this is set on a Greek island which is why I initially picked it up.  Did I mention that I love Greece, which is where I wrote the first half of Dying to Know – is there life after death?
Resurrecting Jesus – Adyashanti I loved this book. It takes the Christian message, turns it upside down, shakes out all the bulldust and crap and you’re left with the core teachings of Jesus. For example, Adyashanti explains that the real Greek translation of the word ‘Sin’, means to miss the mark. Yep, that’s all. You’re not doomed to burn in hell forever, it’s just that you / me have maybe misunderstood something and hence ‘missed the mark’. Nothing too serious, let’s make amends and move on and love one another. If you don’t like Christianity, then you’ll love this book.
Waking Up (a guide to spirituality without religion) – Sam Harris. It took me ages to plough through Waking Up, picking it up and putting it down about 5 times. Even though he doesn’t say he’s Buddhist, Harris’s messages very much are, which is a little ironic as the title says ‘Spirituality without the religion’.  However he does away with the religiosity of Buddhism and plucks out the core philosophy about the ‘no self’ and ‘emptiness’ which I had previously leant in Buddhist school, so it wasn’t new for me.  I felt he was trying too hard to convince me of his argument which in fact wasn’t an argument, as I tended to agree with him. I didn’t have any deep insights, but maybe other people will.
The Book of Love and Creation – Paul Selig I had started to read this at the end of 2014 and carried over to 2015 and it’s not for everybody as its channelled material, where the author is just the conduit for a ‘higher’ source of information. (I experiment with channelling in my new book, ‘Turning Inside Out’ with some strange results) Some of the messages inside The book of Love and Creation are very much the same as in Sam Harris’s book and Dr Eben Alexander’s.
The Book of Knowing and Worth - Paul Selig The 3rd book in the series (I didn’t read the first) and I found it just as informative as the previous. Still the same core messages as you get with Eckhart Tolle, Adyashanti, Sam Harris etc yet packages them in a very different way.
The Book of Mastery – Paul Selig. I’m currently reading the 4th book in the series and this time Paul’s challenging the nature of reality and I’m finding it resonates with other channelled material, Buddhist teachings, other books I’ve read along with my own meditations.
The DIY Book PR Guide: The HAPPIER Guide to Do-it-Yourself Book Publicity in Seven Easy Steps, - Emma Noble.  If you want to get an idea of what’s involved in traditional publicity for a book, then you’ll be blown away by what’s involved. Emmatakes you through each step and demystifies the process.
The Missing Link (Reflections on Philosophy and Spirit) – Sydney Banks. My medium friend Tammy Movliatti who I feature in Turning Inside Out, put me on to this book and it hits the nail on the head. In what many other books take hundreds of pages to explain, Sydney Banks does it in 142 short pages. Written simple prose style, he has done what other teachers have struggled to do and that is highlight what the missing link is. I won’t give it away, but if you’ve struggled with mindfulness, mediation and trying to understand that you are not your rambling thoughts, Banks delivers the killer blow that so many spiritual books and teachers have a hard time explaining.
Take away notes from the 2015 reading list. -          Many authors are trying to say the same thing, just in  different ways.  -          You are not who you think you are. -          Your consciousness exists outside of your brain.-          Reality is not solid, yet your version of it can be extremely beautiful.-          Go to Greece, everything about it is extraordinary (and they needs your tourist dollars)  and if you’re going to stay anywhere, stay here. 39 Steps on Skopelos and you could be sitting somewhere like here.
 


 

Are you running away from something or running towards something?

 Two weeks before Christmas, I quit my job. I had nothing to go to. I felt like I was living out a Rodriguez song.I’d been in the same job for about 8 years, with the role slightly changing over that time; however I personally had changed so much that I could no longer feel completely comfortable doing what I was doing. Yet, I still had to keep going there day in and day out as it was all I knew and I had a mortgage to pay. I felt completely trapped. I wanted to run away. Escape. The more trapped I felt, the more the resentment I felt and the desire to just escape intensified in my stomach. I started to develop mild anxiety and dreaded going into the office. I then sought my identity in the image of a boy running away, such as in the poster for the film 'Fireflies in the Garden’.  (above)Running away to find freedom.  It’s now January 10 and I have officially finished up at my old place of employment. I still don’t have anything concrete to go to. Neither does my partner Andy who also quit at the same time.
I now no longer have the need to escape. I’m no longer running away from something. I don’t have the anxiety in the pit of my stomach. I no longer feel tight in the chest. I feel free.
Expansive even. I now identify with the boy in the Elena Shumilova photograph (above). He sees the rainbow in the distance and he runs with joy towards it.
I’m moving towards something, not running away from something. There’s a big difference.
Running away has the energy of fear, tightness and constriction.Moving towards something is about hope, possibility and creation.
You have to let go of the old to invite in the new. The two energies cannot work in the same space.  Even though I may not exactly know what it is that I’m moving towards, I have hope and possibility in my heart and have to do something that I’ve been told by many people and that is to ‘trust’.


 I’m in a space of rest and recuperation now before the energy shifts again and I feel movement towards the rainbow.  I’ve read and felt in my heart the truth about ‘trusting and letting go’ and allowing the universe / higherself (or whatever you want to call it) to guide the direction of your life. When I get out of my own way and stop trying to control every aspect of my life I can align with what feels right and with what resonates in my heart. This is what adventure is all about.
I'm used to adventure though, I wrote about one in Dying to Know: Is there life after death where I felt I was guided and the journey ended up not where I expected. But isn't that what life is all about?  What adventure are you about to go on?

Don't believe your doubts