C.A. Sanders's Blog, page 21
February 16, 2017
A Nice Guy?
Far more than once, people have referred to me as “a nice guy.” And I suppose I know what they mean. But there are specific reasons why I don’t consider it true.
What people consider nice, I consider normal. If I say please, thank you, and excuse me, if I donate time or money to charities, if I help people when asked or offer when someone is in need, I am not being nice. There’s no above and beyond here. It’s basic decency, and I’m not going beyond what used to be the norm. This is what norma...
February 8, 2017
Every Story is Death
Death is everywhere
Death is Change
And every story
Is Death.
Coming of Age
Nearer to Death.
Death is Change.
Promises to keep.
Mending walls needing mending forever.
Love: You gain, you lose. You change.
Lose yourself. A part of you dies.
A part rebirths, changed.
Happily ever after till you die.
And you always die.
A happy ending is dying together.
And Death is Change
And Change is a spiral’s shadow.
The world, the universe, is entropy, seeks to tear down.
And rebuild you into something el...
February 7, 2017
Why the Patriots Won
Before the game, my friend and I broke a wishbone. We both made a wish, knowing that it was the same one (actually it wasn’t. He wished that the Falcons won, I wished that the Patriots lost). The wishbone snapped into three parts, leaving my piece and my friend’s piece the same size, slightly smaller than the third piece.
It was like we tried to fix fate, and the universe went “NOPE!”
I apologize to the entire world except for the Boston area, the small enclave where they don’t hate the Pats....
February 3, 2017
If Virtue Equals Success…
I have a few Facebook friends that work out and love to post inspiring stuff about working out. Yesterday, one said “Everything I learned I learned in the gym. Hard work and commitment are al…
Source: If Virtue Equals Success…
If Virtue Equals Success…
I have a few Facebook friends that work out and love to post inspiring stuff about working out. Yesterday, one said “Everything I learned I learned in the gym. Hard work and commitment are all you need in life to achieve your goals.”
Sounds great, doesn’t it? But it feeds into something I’ve been thinking about in society for a while now. I’ve seen it repeat in my history studies as well, and I think it bears acknowledgment.
What my friend (actually, he’s a bit of a dick) said the above is th...
January 26, 2017
Guilt or the Void: Facing a Lover’s Death
On Tuesday it was four years since Valerie died. I admit, it’s getting easier to accept, though I still had a good cry on the way home from the grave. Certain songs still trigger tears, and I…
Source: Guilt or the Void: Facing a Lover’s Death
Guilt or the Void: Facing a Lover’s Death
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On Tuesday it was four years since Valerie died. I admit, it’s getting easier to accept, though I still had a good cry on the way home from the grave. Certain songs still trigger tears, and I dream about those days around her death several times a week. I live them over and over: a twisted Groundhog’s Day with no conceivable end. There is no end to Love when it’s snatched away.
I carry a lot of guilt over her death, though I rationally know that I was not the cause, and there was little mor...
January 21, 2017
First Phone Post!
I’ve never tried to post from my phone before. Let’s see how it goes.
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Seriously, who is the good boy? It sure as hell ain’t me.
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January 13, 2017
On Turning 40
(This is a bit introspective, but it’s my party and I’ll kvetch if I want to).
I keep telling myself that it’s just a day. I’m one day older than yesterday, no more, no less. But that’s not true. A birthday isn’t a day, it’s a milestone, a click in you lifetime that doesn’t mark time, but experience. It’s a scenic rest stop on the highway where you get out of the car, stretch your legs, and look at where you’ve been.
I have experienced 40 years on the highway, and I’m looking back. And the r...
January 9, 2017
Embracing the Dark Side
(A kinda funny, but mostly serious post…because they can’t all be doggos.)
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Ok, one doggo.
It’s very hard to admit this. I try to deny it, to rise above it or work around it, but I’m done lying to myself. I’m done lying to you.
I have succumbed to the Dark Side.
I am only productive when I am angry at something. I need something to focus my loathing, or some other negative trait, on something in order to get anything done. I wrote my first novel because I was pissed at the crap that was getti...
