Ruth Soukup's Blog, page 88

The Last Thing I Expected to Find

I’m not quite sure what I was expecting today, but I know it wasn’t what I found.

As we made our way through the snarled traffic of Santo Domingo, and the neighborhoods slowly devolved from the upscale business district to the down-and-out neighborhoods closer to our destination, my heart slowly sank.  I took it all in, sheltered behind the tasseled teal blue curtains of our mini bus–the barred windows, the graffiti, the litter. The vacant stares on the faces that we passed.  The dirty river, the razor wire on top of cement block walls, the unattended children running through the streets in nothing but their underwear.

And I wondered how my heart would bear the despair I was about to encounter.

But then the bus stopped and we were greeted by an entire street full of smiling, happy children.

Despair was nowhere to be found.

Within seconds my eyes were blurred by the tears of joy streaming down my cheeks, with nothing but the two little hands in either of mine to guide my way.  They pulled me into the center, sat me down on a chair in the back of the room, and didn’t leave my side.

These two precious children were soon joined by several more, and together we sang and talked and laughed.  They stroked my hair and inspected all the photos on my phone, showed off their English skills and laughed at my pitiful attempts at Spanish.

And my heart was so full, I thought it might burst.

I’m not sure what I was expecting today, but it sure wasn’t hope.

I certainly wasn’t expecting hope when we went to visit Juan Carlos and his family in their tiny cement block home.  But as we walked into the tiny living room–smaller than my bathroom at home–all I could see was their beaming faces filled with joy.  They weren’t just happy to invite us in, they were proud of their home and everything they had built, literally with their own hands.

I learned that Juan Carlos was one of four siblings, and that he had been a part of the Compassion program in their neighborhood for eight years.  The Compassion policy in the Dominican Republic is that only one child from each family is eligible for the sponsor program.  This is so that they can reach as many families as possible, because there are SO many families still waiting to be accepted.

I learned that sponsorship in this neighborhood, for a family, is often the difference between hope and despair.  A child who is part of the program learns skills and has access to resources that he or she is able to share with his or her entire family.  In these poverty-ridden neighborhoods, basic life skills are not taught or passed on from generation to generation.  There is no nurturing, no thought given to emotional needs or to planning for the future; there is only survival.

Sponsorship means hope for a better life.

I learned from Juan Carlos that sponsorship is not just a matter of writing a check–or having $38 withdrawn from your checking account each month–but it is the opportunity to make a real and lasting difference in a child’s life.  Juan Carlos showed us, with tears in his eyes, how he had saved every single letter his sponsor family had ever written him.  To a child that lives with next to nothing these letters are the most precious possession he has ever known.

I’m not sure what I was expecting today, but it certainly wasn’t to see the hidden beauty in those barred windows and ramshackle cement block homes, or to realize that hope comes in many forms.

Sometimes it is a great big hug from a tiny little stranger.

Sometimes it is a song sung in a language I don’t understand.

Sometimes it is a big bowl of oatmeal to fill a hungry tummy.

Sometimes it is a simple jigsaw puzzle from the dollar store–the first they’ve ever seen.

Sometimes it is the beaming face of a father who now sees the possibility of a better life.

Sometimes it is the relief on a single mother’s face knowing she is not alone.

All this for $38 a month.

$1.27 a day.

Pocket change for most of us, but the difference between hope and despair for some.

Don’t turn away friends.

These lives matter, and your pennies mean something, far more than you could ever imagine.  The work being done here in the DR is incredible, life-changing, not just for a few, but for whole families and entire neighborhoods.  And there are so many kids here still waiting for their chance, their opportunity for a better life.

Our goal this week is to sponsor 300 children, and as of right this second, 32 kids have been sponsored so far!  That’s more than 10% of the way to our goal, and it’s only Day 1!  It’s not a small decision, but my hope and prayer is that you will open your heart this week and say yes to these kids.  Or just to one.  Think about it.  Pray about it.  Talk to your family.  But say yes.

Please say yes.

Hope is literally in your hands.

And it’s only $1.27 per day.

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Click here to sponsor a child.

P.S. If you sponsor a child this week you will also receive this beautiful limited edition necklace from Lisa Leonard–just a small token of thanks for saying yes!

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The Week That Could Change Everything

This week is going to be a little different here at Living Well Spending Less.

But I hope you won’t mind.

In fact, I hope you will embrace this little shift in focus with me knowing that a.) it is only temporary and b.) it is a week that could change everything, not just for you or for me, but for a whole lot of really special kids.

You see, this weekend I kissed my little family goodbye for seven whole days to travel to the Dominican Republic with Compassion International and some pretty amazing women—Lisa Leonard, Holley Gerth, Bonnie Gray, and Bri McKoy.

While we are in the DR we will have an opportunity to learn more about the incredible work Compassion is doing within the communities there, to visit their different programs, and to spend time with as many kids as possible, including my own family’s sponsor children, two beautiful little six year old girls named Darismel and Evileidy.

All five of us will be sharing updates about the trip on our blogs all week, and I would love to invite you all to follow along each day, either by checking in here on the blog, following along on Instagram, or by following #compassionbloggers on Twitter!

Our goal is not only to raise awareness, but to help 300 kids find sponsors this week!

I would also like to ask for your prayers this week. Would you join me in praying specifically for the following:

First, for safe travels in and around the Dominican Republic and back to the US, and for good health all week for all of us as well.


Second, that our trip would result in many, many, many children being sponsored, and that we would blow our goal out of the water!


Third, that you may be moved to consider sponsoring a child .

Ben Carson once said that “happiness does not result from what we get, but from what we give.” I know in my own life I have found this to be true time and time again.

300 is not a small number friends, but I have faith that we can do it.  That you can do it.  My challenge for you this week is to open your heart and consider making a difference in the life of a child through Compassion. Pray about it. Talk to your family.  Bring it up with your friends. Follow our journey.

But don’t turn away.  There is a child out there somewhere right now–perhaps even one here in the Dominican Republic– that needs YOU.

THANK YOU in advance for your support, encouragement, and prayers this week!  It is so very much appreciated–more than you could ever know!

xoxo, Ruth

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Weekend Wandering

Happy Weekend! This afternoon I am heading to Atlanta to meet up with my fellow Compassion Bloggers before we fly to the Dominican Republic tomorrow.  Our goal is not only to raise awareness about some of the incredible work Compassion is doing in that country, but to help 300 kids find sponsors this week!  I would love to invite each of you to follow our journey online, on Instagram, or by following #compassionbloggers on Twitter!

In other news, our Secret 13 Essay Contest finalist this week was Amanda  from “Letters to Samantha” , who wrote about the lessons she learned after her home was destroyed by a flash flood. You can read her journey here.  There is still plenty of time to submit your own entry for a chance to win an all expenses paid cruise for four on the Carnival Sunshine, so be sure to check out all the details HERE!

And now on to the good stuff.  Here is what I loved this week:

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First of all, this tahini-free Easy Homemade Hummus from the Simple Recipes Club looks so easy–perfect for a healthy afternoon snack!

These Crispy Rosemary and Sea Salt Wedges from Sparkles in the Everyday look so good!

Mmm…this Simple White Chicken Chili Recipe from Luv a Bargain would be the perfect meal to warm up a chilly night.

 This Greek-Inspired Orzo Salad with Roasted Vegetables from The Hard Times Kitchen sounds absolutely delicious!

This Cilantro Lime Shrimp Salad from the Savvy Saving Couple sounds really yummy too!

 This Creamy White Cheddar Shells with Shrimp and Peas from The Seasoned Mom is a one dish meal that would be perfect for an easy weeknight meal.  My kids are begging me to try it!

 Moving on to the sweeter stuff…this Frozen Yogurt Bark from Julie is Coco and Coco was my girls’ favorite pick this week–a sweet treat without the guilt!

 This No Churn Cherry Cheesecake Ice Cream from the Cincy Shopper can be made without an ice cream  machine! YUM!

These Chocolate Chip Cookie Ice Cream Sandwiches from Blue Crab Martini would be great sweet treat for the kids!

Onto some DIY crafts…this Peppermint Swirled Soap from Frugal Family Home looks so easy to make!

 My Love for Words shared these cute Free Printable Organization Labels–perfect motivation to clear some clutter!

Still need a Valentine’s Day gift? RachelAnn has these adorable Valentine’s Coupons that can be personalized to make a quick yet special gift!

The Coconut Head’s Survival Guide has a Movie & Popcorn Family Fun Night resource that can help you plan a night everyone will enjoy!

This Budget Tune Up from Mom’s Favorite Stuff allows you track all your expenses in an easy detail orientated printable!

Our Simple Homestead shares her secrets for Learning to Live on Less. Tip number 4 is something our family is definitely learning more about!

Graceful Little Honey Bee shares 35 Frugal Foods to Buy When Your Broke. This list can also help your family eat healthier!

Finally, Sarah Titus shares 6 Wise Things to do With Your Tax Refund. Tip number 2 is one most financial advisers would agree with!

 

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What did you love this week?

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4 Easy Tricks to Avoid ATM Fees

This is a guest post from Kalyn Brooke of Creative Savings

As much as I try to avoid ATM fees, I always end up paying at least a few per year. It’s super frustrating.

$2.00 here, $4.00 there, and the cost to pull out just one $20 bill adds up month after month. You have network fees from your own bank, foreign access fees from other banks, and even “ATM owner fees” piled on top of everything else, and that’s just for using the machine!

It’s like I’m paying to access my own money….oh wait, I am.

Being so much of a cashless society doesn’t help. It means we’re carrying less cash around then ever before, and although we convince ourselves it’s a good thing not to have hundreds of dollars in hand for fear that it could be stolen, we are almost always guaranteed we’ll be paying hundreds in ATM fees whenever we need access to the green stuff.

It’s time to stop giving away our hard-earned money to the banks for free, and try one of these 4 easy tricks to avoid the extra and quite unnecessary ATM charge.

1. Find a Bank that Waives or Credits Fees

Probably the easiest way to avoid ATM fees is to find a bank that doesn’t have them, or credits them back to your account.

Back when we lived in Upstate NY, we were part of a small local bank that credited up to $20 in ATM fees every month. It was so helpful, because no matter where we were, or how much money we needed to access, we knew we never had to pay any extra on top of the cash we pulled. This might not work for those who use an ATM every week, but for the occasional pull-out, it satisfied our needs marvelously.

If you’re on the lookout for a bank that will waive, or credit ATM fees, here is an excellent list. Just be sure to read the fine print! Even if the bank’s rules are pretty soft with ATM’s, there may be minimum balance requirements, or even a bunch of other fees that would make the switch less tempting.

2. Download a Banking App

Most banks have a smartphone app where you can access accounts right on your mobile device {don’t worry, these are always password protected!}, but more importantly, you can quickly check the location of your nearest bank-owned ATM.

The usefulness of this app really depends on your current location, as you may have to drive out of the way to get there. However, with the price of ATM fees rising, it might be worth the slight inconvenience to avoid a penalty. Of course, if you live out in the country, driving to your bank’s nearest ATM might be a different story!

Another option is to download the Allpoint mobile app, which finds surcharge-free ATM’s closest to you. The downside is you need to contact your financial institution first, just to make sure they participate in the Allpoint network before heading out to access your cash.

3. Always Carry a Certain Amount of Cash

Although I don’t personally use the cash envelope system, I do try to have at least $20 cash on me at all times to use for small transactions, and also for when I take a trips to the flea market or scout out a local garage sale. It is rare for any business not to accept credit or debit cards, but these establishments do still exist, and much to my dismay {and often my own fault!}, I’ve been caught without any cash inside them. So embarrassing!

Don’t let cash-only businesses catch you off guard, and make it a habit to carry the specific amount of cash you feel comfortable with. Whenever your supply runs low, run by your bank to pull out another $20 or so. However, if you find yourself doing this often, you might want to pull out a larger amount to save an extra trip.

Another tip for Craigslist users is to keep a larger supply of cash at home for bigger purchases, so you don’t have to run by the bank before you go and pick up your item.

4. Use Your Debit Card to Get Cash Back

Another trick if you find yourself without cash, and the closest ATM is going to charge you an arm and a leg to use it, is to pop into a grocery store or gas station and use your debit card to buy a small item, such as a candy bar. When the machine prompts you for cash back, grab an extra $20-$40 dollars for what you needed – no fees attached.

We have personally done this whenever we found ourselves at a restaurant that only takes cash or we were paying with a gift card and needed cash for the tip. One of us stays at the table while the other runs to the nearest store. It’s certainly not the most convenient thing to do, but it sure does save us some fees.

Some might say that paying for the candy bar is just like paying a fee, but it’s usually less than the $4.00 we so often get penalized with, and we are getting a piece of chocolate out it. So I’d say that’s a win-win!

Next time you find yourself stranded with a cash-only bill and surrounded by out-of-network ATM’s, give one of these 4 easy tricks a try. A little planning can go a long way, and will keep the majority of your money safe and sound — and more importantly, away from nasty ATM fees!

Kalyn Brooke is a full-time writer and blogger at CreativeSavingsBlog.com, where she gives a fresh perspective on frugal living, and the kick-in-the-pants you need to create a budget from scratch. She lives in beautiful Southwest Florida with her news-photographer husband and the most adorable bunny you’ve ever seen. She loves making to-do-lists, reading good books, eating chocolate peanut butter ice cream, and pursuing big big dreams… all carefully planned out, of course. 

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Thrifty Thursday {Week 96}

Happy Thursday!  I hope you are all having a fabulous week & staying healthy during this crazy cold & flu season!  My girls have been fighting off the sniffles this week but seem to be winning the battle.  After being sick almost constantly for the past two winters, we started using essential oils last fall and I haven’t been sick at all since!  I never thought I would be such a convert to the oil craze, but they have seriously worked wonders in our home!  (If you’ve ever thought about trying them, you can find out more HERE.)

In other news, our Secret 13 Essay Contest finalist this week was Amanda  from “Letters to Samantha” , who wrote about the lessons she learned after her home was destroyed by a flash flood. You can read her journey here.  There is still plenty of time to submit your own entry for a chance to win an all expenses paid cruise for four on the Carnival Sunshine, so be sure to check out all the details HERE!

Finally, don’t forget to enter our fun #LWSL book@ Target Instagram Contest for a chance to win one of FIVE $100 Target Gift Cards!  Today is the LAST DAY to enter, so don’t wait!  All you have to do is first make sure you are following @RuthSoukup, then snap a picture of Living Well, Spending Less: 12 Secrets of the Good Life inside of or in front of any Target store, & share it on Instagram using hashtag #LWSLbook.  You can find out more details HERE!

Here are the most clicked links from last week:

1. Snail Pace Transformations  { Why I Rarely Talk About Our Debt Free Journey }
2. Graceful Little Honey Bee { 21 Real Food Items at the Dollar Store }

3. A Cultivated Nest { Quick Meals to Make Instead of Eating Out }

4. A Debt Free Stress Free Life {How to Stay Out of Debt}

5. Family Balance Sheet {Shannon &  Her Husband Paid Off $22,000 in 9 Months}

6. Laura Sue Shaw {Things You Should Buy in Bulk}

7. Frugally Blonde {What to Buy in February}
8. The Budget Mama { 5 Things to Stop Paying for in the New Year }
9. Vickie’s Kitchen and Garden {My Frugal Living Ways}
10. Early Bird Mom {Save on Your Electric Bill Every Month}
 
Never linked up before? Here’s how:

Scroll down, find the little blue “Add your Link” Button and click on that.
Follow the instructions on the next page – add a great image of your project and an interesting title. Make sure you link to the direct page of your budget friendly post – not the main page of your blog!
Try to visit at least a few other blogs at the party. Be sure to leave a comment to let them know you stopped by!
Please link back to this post somehow. There are badges available here; a simple text link is just fine too.

Feel free to tweet about Thrifty Thursday so others can join the fun, and don’t forget to check back here Sunday morning to see which posts have been featured this week at Weekend Wandering!

If this is your first time here I also invite you to check out my blogging guide, How to Blog for Profit (Without Selling Your Soul).  It is a fantastic resource if you are interested in building your blog, getting more traffic, or learning how to monetize!  Or, if you have read the book and are still looking to take your blog to the next level, I encourage you to check out Elite Blog Academy.

An InLinkz Link-up

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Flourless Almond Joy Cake

Baking without flour is still a relatively new concept to me, and while my family hasn’t gone completely gluten-free just yet, we big fans of both coconut and chocolate.  This dense, rich Almond Joy cake has the flavor of my favorite candy bar….and then some.  It is seriously to die for!

And while it’s not exactly health food, a little of this super decadent cake goes a long way, which means the per-serving calorie count is still a lot lower than traditional chocolate cake.  Plus, the presentation, with the layer of coconut and almond paste in the middle, is downright stunning (and looks far more complicated than it actually is!)

Here is what you need:

1 bag milk chocolate chips
8 tablespoons butter; cut into small pieces
1 package (8 oz.) almond paste
1/2 cup shredded coconut
3 tablespoons powered sugar, plus 1 TBS for garnish
3/4 cup sugar
4 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
16 blanched whole almonds (optional)
 

Step 1: Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Coat a 9 inch springform pan with cooking spray.

Step 2: Combine chocolate and butter in large glass bowl. Microwave on high at 30 second intervals for 2 minutes (stirring between each) until melted. Stir until smooth. Let cool slightly.

Step 3: Knead together almond paste, shredded coconut and powered sugar on a flat work surface. Roll out into 8 inch circle.

Step 4: Add granulated sugar into chocolate mixture; stir until smooth.

Step 5: Add eggs to chocolate mixture, one at a time, stirring after each until blended; mix on high speed until slightly airy, about 2 minutes.

Step 6: Add vanilla and salt to chocolate mixture stir until blended.

Step 7: Add cocoa powder into the chocolate mixture; mix on low for about 1 minute.

Step 8: Pour half of the batter into the prepared pan. Carefully place the almond paste round on top of the batter in the pan. Pour remaining batter into the pan; spread to cover almond paste round and smooth the top.

Step 9: Gently arrange whole almonds on top of batter.

Step 10: Bake for 30 minutes Remove pan to wire rack and let cool to room temperature. then refrigerate for 2 hours. Remove side of pan. Sprinkle with powered sugar; slice and serve.

 

    Print This!    




Recipe: Flourless Almond Joy Cake

Summary: This moist cake is full of yummy chocolate and coconut flavor with a hint of almond.

Ingredients

1 bag milk chocolate chips
8 tablespoons butter; cut into small pieces
1 package (8 oz.) almond paste
1/2 cup shredded coconut
3 tablespoons powered sugar, plus 1 TBS for garnish
3/4 cup sugar
4 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
16 blanched whole almonds



Instructions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Coat a 9 inch springform pan with cooking spray.
Combine chocolate and butter in large glass bowl. Microwave on high at 30 second intervals for 2 minutes (stirring between each) until melted. Stir until smooth. Let cool slightly.
Knead together almond paste, shredded coconut and powered sugar on a flat work surface. Roll out into 8 inch circle.
Add granulated sugar into chocolate mixture; stir until smooth.
Add eggs to chocolate mixture, one at a time, stirring after each until blended; mix on high speed until slightly airy, about 2 minutes.
Add vanilla and salt to chocolate mixture stir until blended.
Sift cocoa powder into the chocolate mixture; mix on low for about 1 minute.
Pour half of the batter into the prepared pan. Carefully place the almond paste round on top of the batter in the pan. Pour remaining batter into the pan; spread to cover almond paste round and smooth the top.
Gently arrange whole almonds on top of batter.
Bake for 30 minutes Remove pan to wire rack and let cool to room temperature. then refrigerate for 2 hours. Remove side of pan. Sprinkle with powered sugar; slice and serve.

Preparation time: 7-10 minutes

Cooking time: 30 minute(s)

Cooling time: 2 hours

Number of servings (yield): 16

 

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It’s Okay to be a Little Broken (Secret 13 Essay Contest Finalist)

Living Well Spending Less: 12 Secrets of the Good Life shares 12 secrets for seeking—and finding—the Good Life in our day to day lives. From time management and goal-setting to managing our homes and finances, these practical and concrete strategies can help each of us discover a life rich with purpose. Even so, a life well lived is not so much about what we have as who we are, and ultimately each one of us holds the key to our own secrets. Secret 13 is the truth that YOU have uncovered as you discover your own Good Life. 

Each week for 12 weeks we will select one finalist’s essay to feature here at Living Well Spending Less. At the end of the 12 weeks, Living Well Spending Less readers will vote on their favorite #Secret13 story, and the essay with the most votes will win a 7 day cruise for 4 on the Carnival Sunshine! Today’s post is our sixth finalist in the Secret 13 Essay Contest. For more inspiring Secret 13 stories, be sure to check out our Blog Tour!

My name is Amanda and I live on the beautiful western slope of Colorado.  I blog quietly at “Letters to Samantha“,where I chronicle life lessons for my daughter, in the order and [dreadfully slow] speed at which I learn them.

I spend my days as mom/teacher to one spunky, unstoppable, 3rd grade girl, and wife to an amazing man – the kind of man who, when faced with a flood, simply says, “We’ll rebuild it. And better.”

On August 4, 2014, runoff from a 17-minute record-breaking downpour came hurdling down the desert mountain slopes and converged on our property.  Our garage was leveled, our house was pushed from its foundation, and our vehicles were carried off in a wave.   Miraculously, we were all out of the house at the time.  That is a fact I wake up thankful for every morning.

I entered this essay contest out of an intense need to process the amazing journey we have been on since that day, and prepare for the journey that still lies ahead.   I am compelled to make my struggles meaningful.  I long for some small way of encouraging others – of giving back to so many who have helped us through this adventure.  I want to remember someday, that we lived the good life right here in our camper, as we work to rebuild in spite of our “sorry you’re not insured for flood” financial situation.  And, of course, I would love to escape it all for 7 days to doesn’t-matter-where.

*    *    *

By the time most of us realize Secret #1, that the Good Life is not what we thought it was, we are in a bit of a mess.   Years later, we realize that “oops” moments are not a singular event, but a recurring one.  Some are preventable and some are completely unforeseeable, but either type of crisis can paralyze us, and keep us from engaging in the beauty and excitement that is around us.   For me, Secret 13 is about accepting my broken circumstances and living the Good Life anyway.   I hope you see a little bit of your story in mine…

I walked through the sand at a near frantic pace as the sun rose.  “This is the last day, there has to be one here,” I said out loud as I scanned the beach.   A few months earlier, along the same piece of shore line, I stumbled upon the most perfect, big, conch shells – one each morning.  But now, nothing!    Hot tears rolled down my cheeks.  “I don’t understand,” I whispered.

I really thought I needed to find a perfect shell that day.   It had been seven weeks since the flood that destroyed our house, and two weeks since the rotting leftovers had been hauled away leaving a gaping hole where our home once was.   I wanted some symbol of assurance that everything was going to be perfect again.  I wanted something beautiful to hold on to.   And, of course, I wanted all that very specifically in the form of a shiny, flawless, (preferably animal-free), conch shell.

In my last steps off of the beach that day, I found it.  I ran my fingers along the mathematically perfect swirls and pulled it out of the deep sand.   But as I turned it in my hands I saw that it was – gasp – broken!  I sighed heavily and let that word sink in as I gently lowered it to my bucket, pasted back on my happy face, and steeled myself for the road ahead.

In the weeks that followed, I rarely thought about that shell, which made a quiet home on my kitchen window sill.  I was busy homeschooling our 3rd grader and trying to keep her life as normal as possible, making our new temporary camper home functional, preparing for a house rebuild, and settling on the reality that there is no “fund” for an isolated natural disaster in which a single desert home is destroyed by an unprecedented flash flood.  We simply pressed on.

Fast forward to the new year.  I stumbled on this verse last week, just grazing through the bible, looking for an encouraging verse of an entirely different kind :   Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’ Does the pot exclaim, ‘How clumsy can you be?’  -Isaiah 45:9 (NLT)

I actually laughed out loud, which was probably a devotion time first for me.   I let that one roll around in my head before declaring inwardly,  “Cute.  But not what I’m looking for.”  I kept reading on for the kind of encouragement I wanted.   I was specifically looking for the verses that assure you treasures, proverbs that promise wisdom as a reward for hard work, and something vaguely about fairness.   No luck, so I brushed it off and moved on with my day.

Isn’t it funny how unwanted, yet important messages just keep weaseling their way into the spotlight, until “not what I’m looking for” becomes impossible to ignore?    Our days had been getting worse lately instead of better and the weekend culminated in a doozey.  Burst pipes,  major equipment failure, growing expenses and sleepless nights.  The last straw was when I swiped my favorite coffee cup off the bench.  Chunks of the sharp pottery flew across the garage.  Broken.  My husband and I, without looking at each other, agreed that we were done for the day.  We cleaned up a few things, but eventually just let things be and trudged up to the camper to listen to Sunday’s podcast, the one we missed because of projects gone awry.

Clumsily bumping around, we peeled off our muddy boots and outerwear.   I started the message and we slumped down in our chairs as we heard, “Turn with me now, to Isaiah chapter 43.”  What’s this?   I bolted up and hit pause.  With new energy, I blurted out what I had read earlier in the week.  We laughed together and agreed that chapter 45 was sure to be included, and we should probably listen on. I joked that all I wanted was some encouragement, but it appeared that we were in for a lesson instead.  I feigned frustration, rolled my eyes and pushed play expectantly.

As the speaker continued, I began to hear through my own history, the message that was meant for my heart.   Memories flooded back of the time I walked on the beach this fall, searching for the perfect shell and finding only a broken one.  I saw the house as it was crushed and reduced to five dumpsters of debris.  I watched my coffee mug shatter in slow motion across the garage floor.  I heard the words, “It’s okay to be a little broken.”

I laughed out loud to myself again.  What pot could tell the potter it’s a little lumpy?  Or that this edge is too thin and fragile?  What pot screams to the potter, “I am ugly!” or  “Please hurry!” or “I am broken!”   Let me tell you.  This crackpot.

(It is great consolation to me – and maybe to you – that I’m not the first one in history to make this mistake and probably not the last.  Isaiah was written hundreds of years B.C., and despite many chances for this little tidbit to get lost in history, still it remains part of the bible today.  I’m guessing it wasn’t just for me.)

In the days that followed, I approached life with an altogether lighter attitude.  Yes, there is still an overwhelming amount of work to be done and a never-ending stream of new bills to pay.  Yes, it will be hard, things will continue to go wrong, schedules will fail and trusty equipment will break down.  But, I have discovered these two more important truths.  1)  The stories I know don’t end with brokenness – they end with redemption.  They end with something amazing.   2) I don’t want to give up the Good Life that is happening all around me while I am wallowing over the crack in my shell or pining for a happily ever after.  So what is the alternative?  Decide that it’s okay to be a little broken.  And keep moving forward.

For my mom, my sisters, and all the women in my life who not only help me to endure through times of brokenness, but inspire me to see it as a beautiful part of my journey.

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Want to enter for a chance to win an all-expenses paid cruise for four on the Carnival Sunshine?  In 750-1200 words, please share your own Living Well Spending Less® story. It could be a challenge you faced in your own life and the lesson you learned as you overcame it, or a personal story about how something within one of the chapters of Living Well Spending Less: 12 Secrets of the Good Life personally affected or changed you.

Next, send a copy of your essay to secret13@livingwellspendingless.com. Be sure to also include your name and blog name (if you have a blog), as well as a photo of yourself and any other photos you’d like to include.  For more details about the contest and how to enter, please check out our Secret 13 Contest Page!

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How to Illness Proof Your Home

One of my biggest goals this year has been to keep myself and my family illness-free.  After a couple of really bad, illness-prone years, where it felt like all of us–and especially me–were constantly getting sick, I have been much more vigilant and proactive about staying healthy.

We’ve already talked about some great ways to take care of ourselves during the winter months, but the process of keeping illness at bay really begins at home.

While it’s no secret I can be a bit of a neat freak, I am also not a big believer in anti-bacterial products, which in the long run can do more harm than good.  (I much prefer homemade cleaning products infused with essential oils.)  So aside from becoming the “germ police,” how can we be sure our homes are a safe haven from all those germs and viruses going around?

These nine practical reminders are a great place to start:

Wipe All Touchpoints

While some viruses are quite weak and can only live for a short time on surfaces, others can linger for hours or even days. Thus, it doesn’t hurt to be a bit more cautious, especially during the winter months.

Touchpoints are described as anywhere your hands (and germs) go when you come into a house. These are commonly touched places that are often overlooked when cleaning. Wipe down all doorknobs and light switches and the surrounding areas. Think of all the places your family members regularly touch, including drawer handles, cupboards, refrigerator doors, faucets and toilet handles.

Washing common touchpoints around your house, especially hard surfaces (which tend to be more germ-friendly) ensures you’re not spreading germs throughout your household. Again, you don’t need to use bleach or heavy chemicals—a solution of soapy water with a few drops of Melaluca (Tea Tree) or Theives oil in a spray bottle will do the trick. Simply spray and wipe.

Pay Attention to Handheld Devices

These small, frequently touched items like remotes, telephones, computer keyboards and accessories, and gaming controllers are often overlooked when cleaning, and could probably use a good wash. Use a soft cloth or tissue, so you don’t ruin sensitive surfaces.

Your cell phone is a hotbed of germs. (It can even house more germs than a public restroom–yuck!) Keep it clean so you aren’t bringing germs and viruses near your mouth and nose to help cut back on the spread of illnesses.

Clean Your Kitchen

Your kitchen can be an area of your house that seems clean, but underneath the surface there might be hidden germs, mold, mildew, foodborne pathogens and more. Yikes! The first step is to really deep clean that kitchen and get things under control.

Special areas of focus include the fridge and the sink—areas where dampness and moisture can harbor bacteria. Microwave kitchen sponges for one minute (or replace) to kill germs. Wipe down all surfaces and keep pets out of the kitchen and off the counters.

Moisture can easily collect in your kitchen and quickly become a problem. Keep your sink dry and don’t allow water to pool or sit. Be sure to dry dishes thoroughly and run a little vinegar through your dishwasher occasionally to descale and keep things fresh. Using hot water in the dishwasher, or letting dishes soak to get an extra-thorough scrubbing, ensures germs don’t linger on glasses and cups.

Pay close attention to cutting surfaces and any areas that touch meat or dairy products, as they can be breeding grounds for all sorts of sickness-makers. While foodborne illness is not the flu, it can be just as disabling and make you just as miserable and down for the count.

Scrub Down Your Bathroom

Traditionally, the bathroom is the area of the house most associated with “icky” germs. While cleaning sinks, toilets and floors thoroughly is a given, don’t ignore germ-harboring toiletries like toothbrushes, which should be changed at least every three months! Give your bathroom a thorough cleaning and remove all laundry piles and damp towels to prevent mildew.

Be sure you change out your mops and cleaning brushes so you’re always using clean, fresh items, rather than pushing germs around the floor. A solution of vinegar, baking soda, lemon and soap can make a great bathroom cleaner, while keeping your home chemical-free and safe.

The jury is still out on UV sanitizing wands (which do kill some germs but maybe not as many as once thought). If you have a compromised immune system or really like the peace of mind, they can be useful for providing that extra-clean finishing touch.

Another very simple solution is to always use a trashcan liner in the bathroom. Sometimes they don’t go so well with décor, but tying a small bag inside of your can or hiding your can under the sink will save you from touching used tissues and bathroom garbage. It will also help keep things inside the garbage can. Be sure to change trash bags frequently and spray out your cans with a little cleaner each time you change the bag.

Never ever leave used tissues, or even worse—wads of toilet paper—lying around on your coffee table or counters, even if you’re sick. Proper tissue disposal helps keep your family safe from illness and ensures germs get thrown in the trash or flushed away where they belong!

Keep Hands & Feet Clean

Frequent hand washing is mandatory in the winter months (as it should be all year). Nothing prevents infection and the spread of illness quite as well as a good ol’ fashioned wash with soap and water. Teach children to wash under nails and above the wrists. A thorough job should last as long as it takes to sing the alphabet song twice (…which takes surprisingly longer than you might think)!  Again, I’m not a big fan of antibacterial soap, but I love the Young Living brand Thieves Hand Soap.

Another culprit for indoor illnesses? Allergens and dust. One of the best ways to prevent allergens, dust and the spread of dirt, salt and other mess-makers, is to ask your family and your guests to remove their shoes at the door. Consider a boot tray to corral snow- or mud-caked boots and shoes. This is especially important if you have wood floors (but really, think of all the dirt that can get trapped in carpet).

Limit Allergens

Fireplaces generate a lot of dust and soot. Mud, snow, dirt and dust become by-products of the winter months, especially when we’re cooped up indoors. You can prevent allergens caused by mold, mildew and dust mites all year long by practicing good allergy prevention habits.

Wash all bedding frequently, keep curtains up off the floor, and steam or wash linens, throw pillows and blankets. Wash out the cracks around windows and re-caulk if necessary. If you notice any signs of mildew around tubs, sinks, utility areas or other moist places in the house, be sure to clean thoroughly, and use a mildew preventative and caulk.

If your family has a dust sensitivity or suffers from asthma, keep allergen covers on pillows, bedding and mattresses. Change your bedding frequently and vacuum or turn your mattress according to the manufacturer’s instructions.

Sensitivities to dust and allergens can cause a myriad of problems that are exacerbated by winter and spring weather, including flare-ups of conditions like psoriasis, asthma and eczema. While allergens may not spread quite like the cold or the flu, they can weaken your immune system and make you pretty darned uncomfortable.

Humidify Your House

In the winter we hear a lot about inversions and air quality. The cold air can feel heavy, dry and dense, and with furnaces running the house, our skin and everything around us seems to be dry, itchy and filled with static. Sinuses are no exception, so adding humidity is a must to help prevent sinus infections and bronchitis, which can be exacerbated by colds.

Humidifiers run the gamut in price ranges, from built-in extensions of your heating and cooling system to simple bedside humidifiers that attach to water bottles. You can find a nice mid-range humidifier for around $100 and it will do wonders to help your body and sinuses stave off infection.

You’ll also be pleased with the benefits to your skin, hair and even static-y clothing which can all stand a little extra moisture during the cold season.

Clean the Air

Other air quality controllers like air purifiers and air filtration systems help eliminate or cut down on allergens and bring in the fresh air when you can’t open windows. Even adding a few plants can help improve the air quality in your home (not to mention add a bright and cheery spot to otherwise dreary grey days).

Changing the filters on your furnace can help improve the quality of the air in your home as well. Furnaces should be serviced at the beginning of the cold season and filters should be changed mid-way through the season (especially with heavy use or dust-generating home improvement projects).

Good Clean Fun

Keep toys clean and wiped off. Give Barbie a bath with some disinfecting wipes and clean Lego sets and other plastic toys. Kids tend to put things in their mouths, touch things to their face and share toys as part of learning and social development. Unfortunately, this is also how germs spread. Kids love to try on each other’s clothes and hats, and share lip balm and all kinds of other things that make clean moms cringe.

During flu, cold and other illness outbreaks, encourage children to keep their hands (and germs) to themselves and practice good hygiene from hand washing to covering their mouths.

There’s nothing wrong with limiting playdates or cancelling a few plans if someone’s household is passing around a bug. Children get a lot of social time at school and in the winter, especially when we’re confined to the indoors, limiting your family’s exposure to illness can really help.

With a few precautions, you can keep your house and your family healthy, clean and vibrant all year long!

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How do you keep your family healthy?

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Weekend Wandering

Happy Weekend! It is Saturday morning and I am still debating whether I would like to try to be productive this weekend and tackle a few organizing/decluttering projects I’ve been wanting to get to, or whether I should just take it easy and curl up with a good book.  What about you–do you plan to be productive, just relax, or a little of both?

In other news, if you are planning to swing by Target this weekend, don’t forget to enter our fun #LWSL book@ Target Instagram Contest for a chance to win one of FIVE $100 Target Gift Cards!  All you have to do is first make sure you are following @RuthSoukup, then snap a picture of Living Well, Spending Less: 12 Secrets of the Good Life inside of or in front of any Target store, & share it on Instagram using hashtag #LWSLbook.  You can find out more details HERE!

And now on to the good stuff.  Here is what I loved this week:

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First of all, this Spicy Shrimp Romesco from The Seasoned Mom looks absolutely delicious!

Of course these Chicken Meatballs in Thai Peanut Red Curry Sauce from At the Corner of Happy and Harried sound pretty amazing too!

 This Chicken & Pasta Bake from Written Reality is a comfort food classic that can be on the table in less than 30 minutes!

These Pancake and Strawberry Skewers from Daily Leisure are so cute!

 These Healthy Quinoa Cakes with Yogurt Dill Sauce from Luv a Bargain would make a great afternoon snack! Yum!

 On the sweeter side, this White Chocolate Strawberry Buttercream  from The Bewitchen’ Kitchen gets it’s pink hue naturally!

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 These Truffle Cookies from The Simple, Sweet Life would be a perfect gift for your Valentine!

This Cupid Strawberry Float Recipe from Frugal Coupon Living would be a fun treat to make with the kids!

These DIY Pillow Boxes from Little Girl Designs are just adorable!

Need Valentine’s for your child’s class?  Print these DIY Hugs for You Valentine from The Happy Scraps for free!

Humble in a Heartbeat has 7 Fun and Free Valentine’s Day Activities for Families with Young Children. I love number 3!

This list of 10 Charming and Romantic Valentine’s Gifts for Under $10 from Creative Savings is great. Number 9 is so sweet!

Laura Sue Shaw shares her detailed list of Things You Should Buy in Bulk. This is such a great resource!

These Top 5 Money Saving Strategies from the Frugal Fanatic can help you save some serious cash over the several months.

Finally, Know When to Hire a Tax Professional by asking yourself 4 easy questions from The Budget Mama.

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What did you love this week?

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9 Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have

Marriage is….well, it is a million different things at once. It’s wonderful and heartbreaking and comforting and difficult. It can be invigorating and infuriating, peaceful and tumultuous, good and bad, exciting and dull—sometimes all at the very same time.

It takes a lot of hard work to make a marriage work.  During the honeymoon phase it feels like there is nothing the two of you won’t overcome together, but children and time bring in more demands, more expense, and more stress.  As the years go by, our love often becomes more seasoned but less passionate. Somewhere between the trips to dance lessons and weekly shopping, jobs, homework and pets…sometimes it’s just all we can do to make it to 8pm before collapsing in exhaustion.  It is easy to forget how important it is to take the time to talk about the things that actually matter.

There’s an old parable about a group of blind men and an elephant. Each man touches the elephant to try to discover what it’s really like. One man touches the head and describes it as a big pot. The next man touches the ear and imagines a large fan.  The next man, feeling the trunk, insists the elephant is just like a snake and the last man, holding on to the tail, describes a paintbrush.  Without seeing the entire animal, the men are unable to describe the elephant as a whole.

Marriage can sometimes be like that.  Without even realizing it, we are living parallel lives—going through the same experiences, but forgetting that without communication and discussion of the whole picture, we might not be sharing the same vision.

Having regular conversations about important topics can not only bring you and your spouse closer together right now, it can help you create a better plan for your future together. There is something powerful that happens when two people begin working towards the same goal!  If it’s been a while since the two of you have really talked, these 9 conversations every couple needs to have are a great place to start.

1. The Things That Make You Happy

It seems so simple, but in the busy hustle bustle of the day, we can lose sight of not only our own needs, but also our spouse’s needs. Have a conversation about the things that truly make you happy and discover the same about your spouse.

Do you know the things that truly make him feel joy? Is it a fishing holiday with his buddies? Going to a concert to see his favorite band? (Do you know his favorite band?) Maybe he loves his morning run or a good cup of coffee. Maybe he loves watching the game with the kids.

Whatever it is that makes your spouse feel joy and satisfaction should become a priority for both of you. This isn’t about only the things that you both enjoy, although those things are important, too. Learning what makes another person tick can really help you feel closer, even when you aren’t together. It also helps you focus your priorities to be sure you’re maximizing your joys as much as possible.

2. Your Goals and Dreams

Family. A house. Financial stability. These things are pretty clear and are usually conversations you have early-on. As years go by and some of these things are locked down, be sure you still regularly revisit your long-term goals together.

Tackling a goal together—planning a vacation, planting a garden or fixing up the guest room—can be great a great way to spend time together and to remember that above all, you’re always a team. You and that guy are still in this one together.

Long-term goals can also be important. At what age does your spouse want to retire? Do you plan to stay in your home when your children are grown? Is there a life-long dream that still needs to be fulfilled? Keep these things in sight and work together to stay on the same page.

3. Your Parenting Styles

This is another “can’t see the forest for the trees” conversation. Oftentimes this conversation gets overlooked because we’re just so busy being parents. However, continuously revisiting your parenting styles, objectives and thoughts on things like discipline, education and activities can be so important.

As our children get older, they often identify our parenting styles on their own, and at different times they may choose one parent over the other. It’s easy to start to feel a little left out, but knowing that you’re on the same page about the important parts helps solidify your bond as parents, together.

This conversation also helps immensely when your children attempt to play your styles off one another as they get older. (You know: “Dad will say yes, so ask him first, because mom will say no…”) This is also something that’ll save lots of headaches (and heaven forbid, nose piercings and curfew wars) when your children hit their teenage years.

4. The Things That Bother You

My husband and I fight. I’m willing to bet you and your spouse fight, too. It happens to the best of us. It doesn’t mean we aren’t in love or that our marriage is doomed. It just means we’re two adults that live together—and it’s bound to happen occasionally.

I have discovered that most of our fights come from little irritations that build up over time.  We don’t deal with them right away because they seem trite or trivial, or because we just don’t have time.  But then, when they happen again and again, that resentment builds up until it finally explodes

That resentment can be poisonous to a relationship, and letting things build up until they reach the boiling point can cause irreparable harm. It is much better to deal with it proactively, before the anger sets in. If something is bothering you, bring it up gently. Tell your spouse how you’re feeling in a non-accusatory way. Don’t let it build. Simply say, “I feel bad about…” and explain.

Many times, little things that drive us crazy and drive wedges between us are not done on purpose. Chances are your spouse may not even realize that a particular thing bothers you so much.

Saying you’re sorry (and meaning it) is the other side of the coin. Sorry can be hard for some of us, because it means we’re “admitting defeat.” In reality, an apology can simply mean that you sincerely feel regret for hurting someone else. It may not change your conviction, but it can soften your approach.

5. Money

This is a big one, and one we’ve discussed time and time again. Financial stress is the number one cause of divorce, and if you are sharing your life with someone, you MUST be able to discuss finances, debt and savings. Even if you keep your finances completely separate (which is nearly impossible, anyway), they should still be discussed. In many states, spouses are on the hook for each other’s debt, even if one passes away. You need to know where you stand.

There’s nothing lonelier or more terrifying than hiding a secret, like debt, from your significant other. Finding out that your spouse is hiding a financial problem can be equally awful. Even if you’re both great money managers, there’s a high chance that you and your spouse handle money differently.

Discuss your weekly spending, your plans, previous debts and financial goals. Better yet, attend a Financial Peace University class together–make it a date night.  Find out whether you are really on the same page.  What are your spending styles?  Is it important to both of you to live without debt? What investments do you have? Be sure both of you have access to any important financial information in case of an accident or emergency.

6. End of Life Care, Wishes and Plans

After avoiding it for a very long time, my husband and I finally took the time last year to meet with an attorney, create a will, and settle our affairs.  I’m not going to lie–it wasn’t fun.  We didn’t relish the opportunity to think about our own mortality, or to imagine every worst case scenario.  But we did it anyway, because we knew, after recently going through two deaths in our family, that it is important for the people who we will leave behind.  And that it is done, I can’t even tell you how much better it is to have that peace of mind!

Death is something none of us want to think about, especially not when we’re with our loved one—but it’s a necessity. Life can be uncertain. Perfectly healthy people have terrible accidents. We owe it to our children and our spouses to have this conversation.

If one of you is incapacitated, what are your wishes for care? What are your burial wishes?  Who would take care of your children and your finances in the event that both of you were killed?  It may seem morbid, but this conversation will save others from having to make decisions based on speculation at a time of bereavement.

Every couple should also have a will and life insurance. There are plenty of ways to set up a will online, or a local attorney will be able to take care of everything for around $500-$1000, depending on how complicated you need it to be. Talk to your financial manager or your 401(k) investment firm about setting up life insurance, your beneficiaries, and what your other financial needs might be in case of unforeseen circumstances.

This can be one of the most difficult conversations to have, but in the long term it will give you both peace of mind, and protection.

7. Things That Make You Blush

Your spouse should be your confidant. After all, you’ve surely shared plenty of intimate, private and vulnerable moments together. Now I’m not saying you have to share every glaring detail with each other at all times, or that you can’t still enjoy your privacy, but do allow yourself to share things that might make you feel a little embarrassed.

These topics can run the gamut from intimate needs and racy ideas to health concerns or even mortifying moments you just have to get off your chest. Intimacy is about sharing things that can be hard to say, but sharing them can be freeing and solidify the closeness you share. Think of something you’ve never told anyone and share it with your spouse. Chances are, you’ll learn something new about them as well.

8. The Reasons You Love Each Other

Compared to finances and catastrophe, “Why do you love me?” can seem like a trite question—but I promise, it’s no less vital to the health of your marriage. Look at your spouse and think of that guy that gave you butterflies in your stomach when he looked at you. Think of all the ways he’s a great father and how you grin every time you see him take your daughter’s little hand.

Look at his eyes and remember how many times you’ve gazed into them and felt love. How many times have you caught his eye in a crowded room and felt relieved because you were trying to get his attention? Look at his hands and think of how you’ll always love them, even when they’re old with thin skin and blue veins, and how you’ll still long to hold that hand for comfort.

Then tell him all these things. Tell your spouse why you love him. Reminding your guy of all those reasons as often as possible will keep your marriage as strong as possible.

9. Your Faith

Our relationship with God strengthens our marriages and helps give us guidance when facing life’s challenges. I’ve seen many relationships falter because two people didn’t share the same beliefs—or more often, because they chose not to discuss how their faith and relationship with God has changed over time. I’ve also seen many marriages strengthened because the couple took the time to regularly discuss their faith, and of course, because they’ve leaned on each other through tough times when their mutual faith was shaken.

In my own marriage, this has definitely been an interesting journey.  When my husband and I met and married, neither of us were practicing Christians.  Faith was not at all a part of our life.  Eventually we began going to church, but talking about the changes that were happening in each of our hearts was much more difficult.  It was awkward to talk about God when we never had before.  It has taken us years to learn how to share our faith with each other, and often we are still learning.  That said, by allowing our faith to shape and strengthen our marriage, by praying together, attending services or discussing our beliefs, we keep our marriage a spiritual journey and connection, beyond just the physical and emotional.

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Marriage can be hard, there’s no doubt about that.  But it is much, much harder when communication is not a part of the equation.  Regular conversations about the things that matter most will make all the difference, and if any of these things are topics you and your spouse haven’t discussed lately, make a date and make it a priority–I promise you won’t regret it!

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