Rival Gates's Blog, page 73

A Labor of Love

Writing is one of the great joys of my life. My books both published and unpublished are an immense source of pride for me. I have talked with many writers and their styles vary widely. Some writers like to just sit down and write what flows forth. I actually envy such writers. To be able to just sit down without a second thought and produce a novel is nothing short of miraculous. Whenever I have tried to write in such a fashion, either the entire piece I produce ends up being deleted or I need to do a major rewrite that takes longer than doing it right the first time. Other writers write a rough draft and then write the finished work. If that works for you, I could not be happier. It was the method I was taught in school back in the days before word processors and automatic spell-check. Now I find it redundant and a general waste of my time. My style is just that; my style. It is not meant to work for others and has taken many years to get down correctly. I base my style on the way I was taught to give a speech. You accumulate all your facts or in my case, story bits. Then you write them out in bullet point fashion on a piece of paper. Once that is done you number the points in the order that you want to go through them. Then you walk through the story, point by point, and see how it flows. If something is out of order or it is not leading to the next point, you adjust accordingly. Once you have it down, you write it. That is the easy part. Once it is written you reread the piece from start to finish and look for holes in the story or items that do not make sense. If you are satisfied, you move on to the next section of the story. It is far from the fastest way to write, but it is the one way I find I can be satisfied with my work. This formula can be used on both large and small scales. When you are coming up with the book you bullet point the major events. Then you put them in order. The challenge is to go from one point to the next while developing the story and characters. Everything you do must be leading to the next point. Each point is further broken down into the series of events that come to pass. The same formula is used. Sometimes I storyboard the ideas when I am doing a complex series of actions or conversations. Otherwise the order becomes confused and I end up missing out on something I needed to address. The conversations can be particularly taxing as your talk must start at one point and follow a logical pattern to reach the next point. If it sounds like a lot of work, you are right. Writing is a true labor of love. If you don’t love what you are writing it grows tiresome quickly. I happen to be lucky enough to love what I write about.

Why Is Everything I Eat Bad For Me?

It’s another holiday season and the same question comes to mind that I wonder every year. Why is it that everything that tastes good is bad for you? I went to a Christmas party last week and had some chips and dip for the first time in about a year. Wow! It was amazing. I had forgotten how awesome those two simple ingredients tasted together. Only fear of public scrutiny prevented me from pulling up a chair and diving in face first. Then I remembered about all the fat I would be ingesting and the urge passed…eventually. Then there was a cheese ball with these scrumptious sesame seed crackers. It was heavenly. Then again, there was the fat and cholesterol. Christmas came and the stocking was full. I think Santa put an apple and an orange in to make it feel like I wasn’t totally going overboard. Then came the good stuff. There were miniature candy bars and nearly a full pound Toblerone bar. American and Swiss chocolate were meeting on a joyous occasion to be consumed by me. Talk about the spirit of the season. Then there was the treat I waited for all year…a caramel apple dunked in chocolate and rolled in crushed Snickers bar topping. Once again, however, if you take away the apples and orange, it is a ton of sugar, fat and empty calories. It’s so unfair. Why must we crave things that are so bad for us? You never look forward to asparagus. No one ever hopes their stocking has spinach stuffed inside. We crave foods that are high in fat, sugar, cholesterol and calories. Then I recalled a program I had seen on the History Channel in which they said humans are hardwired, so to speak, to desire fatty and high calorie foods. If you look at the whole of Human existence, we spent most of our time on earth living hand to mouth. Starvation was a real problem. In such situations having it ingrained in your body to want foods that would store energy would prove most useful. During lean times your body would have a reserve to fall back upon. Thankfully, for many of us we no longer have to worry about starving to death but we still crave the high calorie foods. I guess when we were being made, it was never considered that chocolate, sour crème, sugar, fried foods and cheese would become so prevalent in our menu. It sounds like a pretty good explanation. Then again, it also sounds like a great excuse to overindulge. I confess that I have had more than my share of savory treats. We are forced to restrain ourselves for much of the year and that restraint goes out the window during the holidays. I am sure we could have a Christmas without chocolate. It seems to me it has happened in the past. Then again, what fun would that be? Part of the fun of the season is going overboard. So I ‘m keeping my candy. Besides, whatever would I choose for a New Year’s Resolution if I had already given up the fun foods?

Why No Boxing Day?

Let me start out by wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. This year was much better for me on a personal level. Last year I came down with the flu on Christmas Eve day. It kept me up all night and I ended up sleeping through most of the present opening with my children. This year I was fine and had the joy of watching my children and granddaughter open their gifts. After the merriment had subsided, I made my annual phone calls to my siblings and father. My sister and brother-in-law live in Canada and own a large retail franchise. They were happy to have a day off and were getting ready at work for today. You see, December 26th in Canada is a holiday called Boxing Day. If you already know about it, indulge me while I inform everyone else. This is the day of the after Christmas sales when traditionally seasonal goods are “boxed up” for the year. It is the busiest shopping day of the year in Canada. It made me wonder why we didn’t celebrate it over here in the USA. Retailers love a good sale. There are after Christmas sales anyway so why not take advantage of a well-established holiday. I mean seriously; if Sweetest Day can be a holiday, why not Boxing Day? When I lived over in Canada we always went out on Boxing Day to return what we didn’t want and buy the items we did not receive. Durable goods were particularly prized on this day. The day turned into more of a Boxing Day week. It is all strictly commercial but the sales were usually pretty amazing and the retailers liked the boost at the end of the year. There are sales over here in the United States but there is not a holiday associated with them. Is it just that it isn’t and American holiday? That can’t be it. We celebrate many holidays here that they do in other countries. Take Christmas itself or Halloween or even Thanksgiving. What would it hurt to give Boxing Day a shot over here? I can’t see a down side to it.

T'was The Day Before Christmas

T’was the day before Christmas and all through my home, my wife was at work and there was room to roam. I could have slept in, since I did not have to work; but I hadn’t finished my Christmas shopping like a forgetful jerk! So I rushed to the store at 7:30 in the morn’, to see sad faced employees sleepy and forlorn. I made my purchase quickly and took great care, for I had a new drier being delivered and had to be there. So I bought the family bagels and rushed all the way to the mall. I still had to park a mile away even with it being 8 o’clock and all. I returned a present of which I had bought two. It gave the grumpy salesman something positive to do. Then I picked up our order of caramel apples, our annual stocking treat. They were wrapped all in ribbons both pretty and neat. I looked at my watch and the time was not fine. The delivery drivers would arrive any time after nine. So I hurried to my car and drove home quick. I made it by nine but just by a tick. With my daughters still sleeping I began to wrap toys. Buying for girls is so much easier than for boys. Girls tell you what they want and print a list out. Boys wait till you buy the wrong thing and scream and shout. I wrapped my wife’s gifts and the pile looked so small. You would almost think I had bought none at all. Though the mound was tiny, the price tag was higher. How I wish I could have just given her the drier! But that would not be fair as it’s not a gift for her. Still the price to procure it was a lot to endure. The delivery men came and I opened the door, only to find that laundry soap had spilled all over the floor. I wiped it up as best as I could, before they sat the new one down where the last drier stood. They hooked it up fast and moved the old one out. Now all I need do is wait for the charity truck to come about. The kitchen was a mess with laundry room junk. If my wife comes home to this mess I’ll really be sunk. But it seems such a waste to clutter up the room, especially since it was just emptied with the help of a broom. So I’m leaving everything in the kitchen so the laundry room is a glorious sight. I sure hope the Mrs. is happy tonight. I watched “White Christmas” like every year before. As my youngest daughter lay on the couch and began to snore. There are still gifts to wrap so I must start once more. I only hope my daughters don’t open the door. And so I wait for the old drier to be picked up soon. They said they would be here by 3 and it’s well after noon. If they do not come I will be forced to park outside. In this blistering cold, that will make for a fun ride. During this magical season I think about others; the fathers, the sisters, the brothers and mothers. I think about those less fortunate than me. Those who have no candy, or gifts or even a tree. I pray that they find blessings in this merry season, when many forget the needy for some strange reason. So whether your year has been good or it has been bad, be thankful for the gifts you have had. As you return to your tasks and finish this blog, have a Merry Christmas and go light on the egg nog.

Where Are You From?

A good friend of mine shared a web site that can tell you where you are from based on the way you answer 25 questions about the way you talk. It has been remarkably accurate. Try it and see if it works for you. http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/20.... It’s quite interesting how certain phrases are only used in certain parts of the country.

Dogs Know Best

As I sat in my chair the other night going over Christmas lists my youngest daughter came and sat on my lap. She was carrying a photo album and handed it to me without saying a word. I opened it up and was stunned to find it filled with pictures of our late dog. It was one year to the day since she died and my daughter was brokenhearted. Though I seemed to complain about the dog much of the time, I really loved that little beagle. As I looked at the pictures I was reminded of the good and bad of dog ownership. History seems to bring out more of the good about a lost person or pet. I mostly thought of the good. There were pictures of her lying by me as she was prone to do. She also was on the bed in “her” spot. She was pictured eating quite contently whatever was put in her bowl. Then came the pictures of her being poofed. That’s the word we use in our family to describe petting or rubbing your dog until they are so contented that their eyes begin to squint. It is the moment of total relaxation when the dog knows she is loved just for being our dog. My heart ached. I had forgotten how much that dog had meant to me. When I was sick, she never left my bedside. When my son didn’t want to eat his dinner, she sat under the table and waited for rewards from him. When strangers came to the door she howled relentlessly until she decided they were friends and would proceed to try to make them rub her belly. When I was down I would ask her, “Are you my girl?”, and she would lick my face once. She didn’t fetch or walk without a leash or heal or any of the other things T.V. dogs are supposed to do. My mother, however, put it best some years back. “She is trained perfectly to be exactly what you want in a dog”, she noted. It was true. I could have the worst day in history and that dog would be thrilled just to be let outside at the end of my day. Before coming to bed, the dog would go into each of my children’s rooms and check on them. Then she would ball-up at the foot of my bed. She was a great dog and I miss her. As I closed the photo album I saw all the Christmas lists. So and so wanted such and such. Don’t buy this IPod, buy this one. In that moment the lists looked trivial. Here I had memories of a dog that was happy just to get a little attention followed by lists of goods needed to make people happy. Maybe dogs have the right idea? Maybe just the simple things in life are all we really need to find happiness. I can enjoy sitting next to my wife watching the news. I like talking about football with my son. My oldest daughter always keeps me entertained with her stories from work or school. (Yes my children are story tellers too.) Even watching a Disney show with my youngest daughter brings me joy. My granddaughter will sneak up by grandpa every once in a while and snuggle. Those gifts mean more than anything written on those Christmas lists. I am thankful that I already have my gifts.

The Book No One Reads

It seems like such a simple thing. I have been using it since childhood. I never thought it was at all complicated but it would seem that I am wrong. I am talking about the phone book. That heavy yellow and white paged book I used to sit on as a child at the dinner table. (Before booster seats) We always seem to have several, whether they are for different areas or different years. I have looked up everything from Appliance Repair to Zoo Hours. It has just been brought to my attention, however, that my tech-savvy children topping out at 22 years old do not know how to use this simple information source. I have shown each child how to use them on several occasions and like a foolish parent I believed they had learned the simple principles of alphabetical order and category look up. So it was a sad shock when I asked my son to look something up in the phone book and he just stared at it like it came out of a tomb in Egypt. He didn’t even touch the book. He just looked at it and said, “I’m getting no reception here on my phone. Can’t I just use your computer to look it up?” “Just look it up in the book”, I told him. “It’s in the business pages.” Again he didn’t touch the book. He just looked at it from the side. “Are those the yellow ones?” he asked. By this point I was highly bothered and looked it up myself, showing him how as I went. “Dad”, he told me. “No one uses those things any more. You just look it up on your phone. It’s way faster.” Though he had a point, I was frustrated. “Apparently you can’t do that when you have no service”, I told him. “It is important to at least know how to use a phone book.” “Maybe for your generation”, he said. “People my age don’t have time for that.” I found what I was looking for in less than a minute. How does someone not have time for that? Am I becoming an albatross in a society of eagles? I cannot be the only one to still use the book. In past blogs I have mentioned how lost I would be without my cell phone. If my children are any indication, though, this generation would be totally incapacitated without them. Technology is great; but even eagles have to come down to earth at some point.

The Dreaded Mall Cart

This was actually supposed to be the topic of yesterday’s blog but I was sidetracked by the folly of Victoria’s Secret. So there I was, People Watching in the mall. It was busy for a Tuesday and I was surprised by the number of customers milling about. Most people we shopping in pairs. Individuals were always fast paced. I figured that was because they knew what they wanted and were in a hurry to get in and get out. It turns out there could have been another reason. Mall Carts! You know the carts in the middle of the aisle in the mall? Every time I passed one, a salesperson tried to engage me with their product. It started with the cell phone case guy. “Do you have a case for your phone?” “Yes”, I replied with disinterest. “Well we have different colored ones and ones where you can drop your phone on the ground and it will be alright.” I smiled and kept going. “Thanks, but no thanks”, I said. Right after him was the remote-controlled helicopter stand. He used the remote to swerve the craft around my head. “Do you want to try?” he asked. “It’s really easy and fun. You can even do it indoors.” The thought of a remote-controlled helicopter zooming through my house was terrifying. It reminded me of the commercial where it is flown into the Christmas tree. I figured that was just begging for trouble so I respectfully declined. Each vendor tried to stop me. We had the “Magic Magnet” shoe insoles, the heated massage rocks, the custom letters for your house so you can spell your name in style and the infinity lights. (They look like they are made of paper machete and glow.) The funny part of it all was that people were stopping and trying the demonstrations. I brushed passed the sunglass stand, the cosmetics cart and a few others in an effort to just reach my wife in Bath and Body Works. It was like a carnival where you’re walking down the midway and everyone wants you to try their game. At last, my goal was in sight! Bath and Body Works was just ahead. As I neared the door a gentleman stepped in my path and held out something that looked like a communicator from Star Trek. “Care for a massage?” he asked. “No thank you”, I replied. Then a second gentleman stood next to him. “You should really try it. It’s amazing!” They were in my path and so I stepped around. “Where are you going?” one asked. For some reason I answered, “I am going to meet my wife.” “Well bring her back with you”, the man said. “We’ll massage you both!” That didn’t sound even the slightest bit appealing to me. When I entered Bath and Body Works the female employees saw me and flocked to my aid. It makes sense. A guy going in there this time of year probably is gift shopping and is as lost as I would be if I was actually shopping. They all asked if I needed help and told me the specials. Some pointed at products and said what was new. I appreciated the assistance and all but I just wanted to find my wife. At last I saw her and ran over to her side. I gave her a great hug and all the sales associates disappeared. Yes, my wife is salesman Kryptonite! I wonder if it would have worked at the stands. Probably not. They likely would have pestered us more. For the moment, however, I was safe. I told my wife, “Unless you want some weird guys to give you a massage, we’ll head out that door.”

Shopping At Victoria's Secret

With Christmas just a week away I ventured out to my local mall to do a little Christmas shopping while the crowds were minimal. As usual, I had to do a little People Watching. (After all, I was a Communication Major!) In the jewelry stores were women looking at men’s jewelry but more so, men looking at gifts for women. I watched as the men stood like deer staring at headlights coming and went along with whatever the pretty young associate recommended. The poor fellas never had a chance. They just handed over their credit cards and walked bewildered out of the store. Then I walked by Victoria’s Secret. I think all those pretty young female associates shop there, but that’s not what I’m there to see. There are always two or three guys in there who look like they are being watched for shoplifting. They appear uncomfortable and nervous. Once in a while the will walk over to some lingerie and look intently. Then a woman comes near and the turnaround as if they didn’t know the display was near them. You can see the panic building inside them as they are interested in buying something special for that special someone but do not want to look like a pervert. I take such pleasure in watching because I would be that guy if I went in the store. My problem is I am a talker so I enlist the help of a store clerk. They are always nice but I am a salesperson’s dream in that place. Tell me my wife needs it and it’s going in the bag. If only it were that simple. You, as a man, might think you have your bases covered with bra or panty sizes but it’s not that simple. What cut should the panties be? What do you want them made of? What color do you want? Are they supposed to match the bra? Who would know, anyway? Are they even CALLED panties anymore or is that dating me too much? Then there are bras. Where should the strap be? Should it be in close or out wide? Should there be one at all. Do you want a push-up bra? (That doesn’t sound too comfortable) Then again, if you give a push-up bra, what message are you sending? That won’t end well. As for lingerie, what size do you get? Apparently not all sizes fit the same. If you buy something too small, she is going to feel fat. If you buy something too big, she will think YOU are saying she IS fat. Good luck ever seeing that article of clothing on her. And what do you call the lingerie? Is it a teddy? There’s some sort of thing with garters and hose that looks like it would tear you dress shirts to shreds in the washer. Having watched the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is no help. What do you say? “I want what the fifth girl in was wearing. I think she had wings on.” Yeah; that’ll help you find it. The nice lady helping you is sympathetic and you don’t want her to think you’re obsessed with sex so you try to cover with an unoffensive statement. “Is that comfortable to wear?” Wrong question! Though they assure you it is I have a hard time believing any of that clothing I’m looking at is comfortable. The longer you’re in there, the more you want to run for the exit. By the time the poor guy in the store is done he has a bag full of landmines he has been talked into that are set to explode on December 25th. He even has a bottle of the newest fragrance because it was a great deal with the other items. It makes you think the guys in the jewelry stores didn’t have it so bad after all.

Guest Blog

I am a guest blogger on Angel Dunworth's site today. It is a great honor. Here is the link: http://streetlighthalo.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!