Rival Gates's Blog, page 75

The Internet is Down

I came home late last night to an alarmed family. There was no smoke in the air. No ambulance had to be called. No one was even in pain. Everyone, however, was in great distress because the internet was down. Yes, it was Cyber Monday and the internet was down. You would have thought the world was ending. I didn’t even have my coat off before the problem was brought to my attention. Without the internet, the wireless in the house was out. That meant no one’s tablets had connection and phones had to use the costly data package to surf the web. So I ate something and then set to work on the problem. As I was troubleshooting it I began to realize just how dependent on the internet we have become. It is used for more than just shopping. We use it for banking, staying in touch with relatives and friends, social media, homework, news, movie listings, weather forecasts, researching information, tax preparation, music and a host of other things. Think about it for a moment. What would you do without your internet? My children have yet to even figure out how to use a telephone book. They have grown up with looking numbers up on line. I have tried to teach them how a phone book works but apparently it is too much work. Well guess what I had to do to get the problem solved? Since the internet was down, I had to actually look up the number of my internet provider in the phone book so I could call their help line. The home phone was out because it was somehow connected to the internet so I had to use you cell phone. I dialed all the numbers to get me to a real person and then I started the troubleshooting process. They always ask if the lines are secured tightly but I rarely crawl under the desk to check. Of all the times I have called for help, the wires were never loose. Eventually we discovered that the modem needed to be reset. After 15 minutes the system was back up and the world could continue spinning. Remember how slow dial-up used to be? I don’t think my kids have the patience to wait for such a slow connection. When it was the only thing, though, it was blazing fast. Times sure do change. It’s a good thing we have the internet to tell us what is going on.

Now She's 17

Today is my oldest daughter’s birthday. She is turning 17. It seems like just yesterday that my wife was going into labor the morning of Black Friday. We went to the hospital and my daughter decided she was in no rush to enter this world. Morning turned to afternoon and afternoon turned into night. Still we had no baby. Saturday came and went in the maternity room and still, no baby. Finally on Sunday morning my daughter decided it was time to enter the world and let her mother get some rest. Every child is special in their own way and I think birthdays are our opportunity to look back and see how we have touched their lives and they have touched ours. From a young age she loved to color. At 4 years of age we would try to put her to bed and she would yell and scream her disapproval. I would order her to enter her room and lay down. She would get out a coloring book, about a thousand crayons and lay in the doorway coloring. When I scolded her she would scream, “I AM in my room and I AM lying down.” As angry as I was at her defiance, I had to admit, she was right. I wasn’t around enough as she was growing up. My job required me to work a lot of hours and sometimes travel for extended periods. One day I went to get her from her bed and she was gone. A quick look found her asleep in her older brother’s bed. It seems she had a nightmare and as she apparently did frequently, and crawled in bed with him to feel safe. I asked her why she didn’t get me. She said that she was used to going to her brother when she was scared and that she was going to grow up and marry him. It was then that I was confronted boldly with the extent of my neglect. I wasn’t her hero. Her brother was. She didn’t idolize me. She placed her brother on a pedestal. Work did not relent and I continued to be away more than I wanted. When I could I would try to spend as much quality time with her as possible. The problem was that her brother was a Daddy’s Boy and monopolized my free time. The two children never wanted to do the same things and thus I was torn in two directions. She had little use for me by that point and gladly left me to see her mother or work on an art project. I tried to play her games but I never did get the hang of Barbies or her other dolls. She grew frustrated with my attempts to play and would quickly dismiss me. She only took an interest in me when her little sister became a toddler and demanded my attention. Suddenly I had two girls sitting with me watching kids’ movies. It took a while, but I established a firm foundation with her. So as I sat across from my 17 year old daughter at her birthday dinner, part of me was proud of the job I have done with her and part of me felt a great deal of guilt. She was talking about universities she wanted to check out and friends from school. It was a very “Cat’s in the Cradle” moment. I had missed being the man in her life and soon I was just going to be missing her. I console myself with the knowledge that something of me must have rubbed off on her. After all, she wants to be a book editor! She bears no resentment for me of which I know. For that I am grateful. I just wish I had been there more. Perhaps I would be the one she comes to with her problems now. Perhaps I would be her hero.

Now It's Black Thursday

Black Friday has really lost control. It used to be that stores opened at 7AM. Then they went to 6AM. Then K Mart started a new trend and was open on Thanksgiving. That was a shocker. I could not help but think of those poor employees missing the holiday with their families just to get a few more sales. I thought that experiment would fizzle out. I was wrong. Other retailers started moving back their openings. Stores opened at 5AM Friday. Then it was pushed back to midnight. This year was just too much. Stores opened as early as 4PM on Thanksgiving! I really wonder if the stores are really reaping the benefits of the time change. Does opening earlier really get them more sales or are the normal Friday sales figures simply stretched over a two day period? It’s reaching the point where we might as well not even have the holiday. I always thought of Thanksgiving as a day of rest, spending time with family and carrying on traditions like watching parades or football. Now as the turkey cooks, the Thursday ads are being scanned and items circled. People now go shopping in the afternoon, wait in lines forever, and continue shopping through the night and into Friday. Now when Friday comes, however, the parking lots at Wal-Mart and the other big chains are bare. They used up their splash the night before. I understand the logic. They post the ads on line a week before hand so people can make plans. Then they can clean up when other stores are closed. That way customers won’t have to choose which store to visit at opening. The opening times are staggered so shoppers can hit all the sales and wait in countless lines. It makes me sick to see what the holiday has morphed into. People have become so crazed by these sales that they will actually take items out of other people’s carts when they are not looking so that they can get the early bird sale. How petty is that? When will the madness stop? Will the store employees ever get to enjoy the holiday again? Companies will continue to do these promotions as long as they are working. If enough people boycotted Thursday shopping, I believe it would go away and we could return to just having Black Friday. Somehow, I think that is a pipe-dream. With the ever increasing trend toward earlier openings, the holiday will end up being turkey sandwiches eaten while in a line outside a store. So much for giving thanks.

Losing Mom at Thanksgiving

It is Thanksgiving once again. This is the time of year to reflect back and give thanks for our many blessings. It has been a good year for me personally and professionally. My first book, “Quest for the Red Sapphire” was published and its sequel should be out in the next couple of months. It was a rough year on the health front but things seem to be getting back to normal. My wife is perfect, as always. As for my children, the two still in school are honors students and my oldest is maturing into a fine young man. I am a man with no reason to complain and therefore I won’t. That’s not the topic of this blog. You see, Thanksgiving means something else to my family as well. We are big on traditions where I come from and one is the big breakfast Thanksgiving morning designed to hold everyone over through football until it is turkey time. My children look forward to this because we are seldom all together for a meal and it is a lot of fun…unless you are preparing it and then you want to sleep in. Four years ago was just such a morning. The kids came into my bedroom to wake my wife and me by jumping on us. That started a tickle war and a lot of laughing. Then the phone rang. The cordless phone had been knocked off the charger so I hit the speaker button on the base and answered. My sister was on the line. It was not uncommon to hear from relatives on Thanksgiving and so I thought nothing of it. Then she told me to take it off speakerphone. I knew right then that something was wrong. I ran downstairs, retrieved the other phone and took it off speaker. She informed me that she was at our parent’s house and that Mom had just lost her battle with cancer. I knew she was in bad shape but the news was still quite a shock. After talking and crying for some time I hung up the phone. Slowly I returned to my room where the merriment had not ended. Then my wife saw my face and ordered all the children to leave. Once they did I told her what had happened. How was I going to tell the children? My wife left it up to me to choose the time. We went downstairs and quietly made breakfast. As the children ate, I could not help but ache from the loss of my sole supporter before I met my wife. When the meal ended the children were comparing my frozen orange juice with grandma’s because according to them, “They must grow better oranges in Canada because her orange juice tastes better.” At that moment I felt it was time. I braced them for it and then revealed the sad news. The kids loved to visit her and the thought of her passing was not taken well. My mother was buried a few days later on my oldest daughter’s birthday. This is not a blog for mourning. I have done plenty of that. It is a blog about Thanksgiving. I am thankful for the lessons she taught me. I am thankful she encouraged me to write. I am thankful for the hundreds of nights she fell asleep listening to one of my stories from one of my books. I am thankful she made me promise to publish them. I am thankful she told me when I was dating my wife not to let her get away. And most of all; I am thankful that I was one of a privileged few who had the honor of calling her mother. Thanksgiving is meant to honor the gifts we have been given; not mourn the ones we lost. If somehow you can read this, Mom, thank you for everything. I love you.

My Girls Can Sell!

About ten tears ago my oldest daughter was about 7 years old and came to me asking for money to buy some candy. I told her to think of a way to earn some money and then she could buy her own candy. It was an obvious ploy to get her to clean up or help in some way around the house. Nothing seemed to come of it and so I let the matter go. Then we were grocery shopping a few days later and she started putting candy bars in the cart. I stopped her and told her she had not asked and we were not getting them. She responded, “You don’t have to buy them Dad. I have my own money. She pulled out a hand full of dollar bills from her pocket that were all crumpled. In amazement I asked from where she had acquired the money. She said, “You told me to find a way to earn it. So I did. I sold rocks up and down our street.” She had visited my parents that summer and had accumulated a stockpile of stones from Lake Erie that she thought were pretty. Then she took those stones to the neighbors and sold them for what she thought they were worth. At first I was mortified. The people on our street must think we don’t have food to eat if we’re sending out daughter around to sell common rocks! Then I thought for a moment and was impressed. She managed to get people to give her money for common rocks! Now that’s salesmanship. A few years later there was a magazine drive at her school and the top prize was a camcorder. We did not have a camcorder and my daughter wanted it. So she made her older brother escort her through our small town and knocked on every door. She set a record and sold even to parents who had their own children trying to sell magazines! One day she just came home with a camcorder box and handed it to me. “Tell me when you figure out how to work it”, she said as she started her homework. I was astounded. When girl scouts came along, she was always the leader of the troop in cookie sales. It was good for her but a lot of work for my wife and me. Then her little sister was old enough to join Brownies. The older sister took her around to help her sell cookies. By year two, the oldest daughter would just wait by the road and the younger one would go door to door. My younger daughter sold better than her sister! If there was a house that never bought cookies, she would convince them to order from her. She even had a saying, “I can get a box of Thin Mints out of anyone!” The funny part was that it was true! She would come back from that house with one box of Thin Mints checked off. Every parent wants the best for their children. We dream of them being doctors or lawyers or engineers but we never hope for them to be salesmen. They are still too young to say what the future holds but I have never seen such natural sales ability in my life. Maybe they should just stand on a corner and sell copies of my book. Lol. Can you imagine the power they will have over their boyfriends one day? That’s not even fair. Even so, I could not be more proud.

Toys of Christmas Past

As I write this blog, I have a toy chest next to me in my office. Inside are the Gifts of Christmas Past. There are probably at least 2 dozen stuffed animals, the Barbie Jeep with marker drawn all over, the toy shopping cart with the fake food, the toy steering wheel with buttons that make noise, the roller-skating Mickey doll, the toy sized wagon and the princess bed. That does not even include the toy room in the basement. There we have a miniature foosball table, a giant doll house, a toy McDonald’s restaurant (To help kids aspire to greatness) at least an entire chest of Barbies, Trolls, Bratz and Vampire High dolls, a mixed up pile of clothes for said dolls, a rocking horse, a Dora the Explorer bench that folds into a bed and the list continues. I can’t believe how much stuff has built up over the years. Then I think about what I paid for it all and its condition now. That sour milk feeling starts to creep into my stomach. It looks like such a waste. Then I think about my daughters putting all their dolls in the doll house and needing help to get Barbie’s tight fitting clothes on her. Apparently Barbie put on a few pounds while they were off because they never seem to go back on again. So we end up with a doll house of mostly naked dolls with furniture in all the wrong rooms. There are the dolls with almost no hair because my daughter saw a commercial about dolls with hair that grew back and thought they had one. After much cutting with toy scissors, no hair grew back. Oops! I remember the girls making pretend meals in the McDonalds and serving invisible food to me. I loved it. My son and I played the foosball game into the late hours of the night many times. I wonder where the ball ever went for that game. Each of the dolls has a different story behind it. Some came from birthdays. A couple were even standing in the middle of special birthday cakes. Others were gifts from relatives but most of them came down the chimney. Many of the stuffed animals were simply toys the kids took hold of in the store and would not relinquish. Both my child and the toy ended up in the cart. There are hundreds…no, thousands of dollars invested in items now in toy boxes in my home. I temper that with the memories they have created and smile. That money was not wasted. It brought happiness to my children. Now it is bringing happiness to my grand-daughter. She has just turned 3 and can’t believe the treasure trove over at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. So maybe I’ll hold onto these gifts a little longer. They do seem to keep on giving.

Why I Love Fantasy

Someone asked me the other day why I liked to write in the Fantasy genre. The answer came in several parts. To being with, I love the medieval period and the technology that surrounds it. Over the years I have studied the period at length and find it one of the most fascinating in history. Mankind had regressed to the point that one person in a small community could make a greater difference than a person in a large community. That leads to greater opportunities for character development. Then there was the imagination aspect of Fantasy. Non-fiction leaves little to the imagination. Science Fiction is really cool and a love of mine, but you have to have some scientific premise to make your story plausible. Horror simply never had any interest for me. That is not a knock against it; I simply never had an attraction there. Paranormal writing has been the rage for years and while it is fascinating at times, it did not speak to me either. Now Fantasy, on the other hand was wide open. When you create your own world, no one can tell you that something won’t work there because you have decreed that it will work. If you want the sun to rise in the west…it is done. One of my personal favorite notions is to imagine, “What if Rome had never fallen in our world?” More precisely, ”What if the technology of Rome had not been lost in the Dark Ages?” If you could include that in your story then the options as a writer would be limitless. You could have aqueducts and massive building projects. We could have better armor and stronger weapons as technology would have continued to evolve. If you want magic in the story, you can have it there in a sentence. Explain it however you wish; or don’t. It’s YOUR story and no one can tell you it is wrong because it is all make-believe. Fantasy opens your mind to new ideas or ways of looking at things. Make it as you choose and don’t look back.

The End of Fall

At this time of year I miss living in Michigan. The fall leaves have decorated the landscape in hues of orange, red, yellow and spice-brown. Many have fallen to the ground and families are busy with the counterproductive task of raking them into piles only to have their children dive into the stack and scatter their good work everywhere. The parent can’t be too hard on the child. They, themselves, took part in the same sort of behavior at the same age. The wind has turned cold and bites at the last leaves still clinging hopelessly to their branches. Soon the snow will fly. There will be sledding and ice-skating on that pond or small lake after you shovel the snow. Maybe some kids from the neighborhood will get together and play hockey. Living in Canada was not so different. The climates were about the same and the seasonal change was equally embraced. Now I live in a wonderful part of Nebraska which has its own pleasantries. The fall ends much later out here but the snow is usually preceded by freezing rain that makes travel miserable. The few trees around are in a state of shock as a dusting of snow serves warning. They will deposit the last of their haul soon. Even with a rake, the leaf pile is not worth making a plunge. But there is much to appreciate in this friendly part of the land. The people are as friendly as any you will find. And as for the sky, well let’s just say there is more of it. In Michigan it was always overcast with low hanging clouds. Here clouds come and go as if given permission to stay only a short while. Then the sky is wide open and you feel like you can see straight into heaven. Vapor trails from airliners streaking over the horizon are the only blemish on the big sky country. Sunsets are magnificent as the golden orb takes its nightly reprieve and gives way to the star filled night. Both areas are special in their own way. I have had the luxury of seeing them each for their good and bad points. It is easy to miss Michigan when I think about it. After all, I am not there right now. I am fortunate to have a backlog of memories to fill my mind. Sometimes the past is painted in bolder colors than the present. That does not detract from the beauty surrounding me now.

They Will Find You

You can call them different names but they are all the same thing. You could call it Spam, Junk Mail, or Telemarketing but I have had enough of them all. Today in a simple day off here is my list of these home invaders. On email I received a message from a man claiming to be a barrister (not a lawyer but a barrister) in England wanting me to contact him about an “Urgent Matter” involving a sizable sum and a relation of mine. My last relatives in England came over on the Mayflower! I’m thinking the chances of this being legitimate are the same as me winning the lottery and being attacked by a lion on the same day. There was an email saying I had a rich relative in Africa die in a terrible accident and they need to contact me about the settlement…See the afore mentioned example for my response. It is virtually identical. Add to those the countless messages about special offers, newsletters and ads and you get an inbox with 1 (one) email worth saving. Can you imagine if they charged us to receive email? Maybe if people were charged for sending them we wouldn’t get so many? Not so fast. Then there was the mail. I thought bombarding people with junk mail was so last decade but I was, alas, mistaken. First we have the half dozen “Pre-approved” credit card offers. Then there were ads for new gutters, vinyl siding, garage door openers and repair, Christmas light rental (I couldn’t believe it either), carpet cleaning, insurance ads claiming to save me money for switching and Pizza coupons. Now those I might actually use. Other than a couple of bills it was a pointless trip to the mailbox. So that should be it, right? Just mail and email coming my way. After all, I signed up for the “Do Not Call” list on line. Well, it would seem there is a way around that because the calls kept coming. The university my wife and I attended calls every day in search of donations. They received enough money for our education at the time. They aren’t getting any more. Every day we get a call saying it is our “Last chance to take advantage of the financial stimulus package” and lower our mortgage rate. If it’s the last chance then STOP CALLING! Then you get the call about how window salesmen will be in my area next week and they only have a few appointments left so I must act quickly if I am going to get new windows on my two year old house. Add to that the numerous calls from magical places like Wilmington, DE, Portland, OR, Hartwell, GA, Marysville, WA as well as Unavailable and Out of Area. Sometimes they are just odd cell numbers. If I answer, I don’t even get to say no to a real person anymore. There is a recording of and advertising message. If it goes to the answering machine, they just hang up. So I screen. I screen so much that I miss calls from family. I see why everyone is going to strictly cell phones. Even there, however, they still track me down. I receive these stray text messages saying I have won something and I need to call this number right away. I give up. You cannot run. You cannot hide. Spammers will find you wherever you are and they won’t stop. So Dad, if you call and I don’t reach the phone in time, you’ll know why.

Those Aren't the Words?

Continuing my theme on music I have decided that I am the worst person on earth at deciphering song lyrics. I can listen to songs that other people have no trouble with and somehow I insert the wrong words. I will give you a short list of some of my most egregious errors. In the Lynard Skynard song “Sweet Home Alabama” the lyrics are “Where the skies are so blue.” What I hear is, “Where the skies are smooth.” The Genesis song Invisible Touch was another problem. They sing, “She seems to have an invisible touch, yeah!” I heard, “She seems to have an invisible attraction.” Mike and the Mechanics sand “All I need is a Miracle.” To me they said, “All I need is America.” In Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on me” they say, “Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up.” I was way off the mark on this one. To me it sounded like “Sweet dream, satin queen, Lucifer.” The Backstreet Boys had a song that used to be on in every grocery store called, “The shape of My Heart.” They sang, “I was tryin' to be someone. I played my part. Kept you in the dark.” Until I read the words I swear they were singing, “I was tryin' to be someone. I played my part. Kicked you in the dark!” It would seem they weren’t kicking anyone in the dark. I love Elton John’s “Bennie and the Jets.” To this day I still have not looked up the lyrics, though I cannot understand half of what he says. I was, however, corrected on one line I thought I had down. To me, I thought he sang, (please take no offense) “She‘s got electric boobs! Amota zooms! (Yes I know Amota is not a word) As it happens, he actually says, “She’s got electric boots! A mohair suit…” Actually when you think about it, my lyrics make about as much sense as his. I never would have guessed those were the words. It’s not like I have a hearing problem. My brain just seems to hear what it wants to. Some songs I can really like but not understand what is being said. The afore mentioned Elton John had many of his early songs in which the words all slurred together into a verbal avalanche. I love Pearl Jam but there are hardly any songs in their catalogue to which I could recite all the words. It just sounds like mumbling (albeit good mumbling). Another great example of this is Bruce Springsteen. In his early work (which I also love) he sounds like he is singing with mashed potatoes in his mouth! Maybe I’m just a little off but I can’t be the only one to have trouble with these or other songs. Does anyone else out there confuse lyrics?