Emma Appleton's Blog - Posts Tagged "emma-appleton"
An Introduction to the dark world of Justice
Hello, well I am happy to on Goodreads, and it feels such a relief to finally have released "Just Tell Me". I think I lost a part of my soul writing that book, it took over my life. Nicole and Daniel have become real people to me, and I even find myself using phrases they do in everyday life. I am becoming more like Nicole, not an endearing character trait but nevermind.
So what is the Justice series about? I can tell you what it isnt, it is not another fluffy chicklit. There are some wine (well actually Prosecco) fueled nights with the girls, but these three friends have an edge. Nicole doesnt, no I take that back, but Anna and Libby certainly do.
Anna is the worst type of hard hitting financial expert, if you have worked in the corporate world you have met her at some point. "Just Dance With Me" tells how she falls in love with the poor innocent FD Edward Wright.
Libby is a travel weary consultant who has seen the dark side of the world, and her story is discovered in the third of the series "Just Love Me".
The fourth in the series, well thats about my poor mother. It deserves a whole new blog, in fact no, a whole website to tell her story.
So what is the Justice series about? I can tell you what it isnt, it is not another fluffy chicklit. There are some wine (well actually Prosecco) fueled nights with the girls, but these three friends have an edge. Nicole doesnt, no I take that back, but Anna and Libby certainly do.
Anna is the worst type of hard hitting financial expert, if you have worked in the corporate world you have met her at some point. "Just Dance With Me" tells how she falls in love with the poor innocent FD Edward Wright.
Libby is a travel weary consultant who has seen the dark side of the world, and her story is discovered in the third of the series "Just Love Me".
The fourth in the series, well thats about my poor mother. It deserves a whole new blog, in fact no, a whole website to tell her story.
A Reluctant Muse
I have always been interested in the relationship you can have with a person online, one of the reasons for writing "Just Tell Me". I remember when the internet started to become popular, oh sometime in 2006 when it started to be used for more than just the occassional work message. Anyone reading this geeky enough to remember Exchange 5.5 knows what I mean.
Even back then I started a strange friendship with a random guy, everytime an email popped up in my Compuserve account my heart would race. He was probably a 40 something beardy IT geek but to me he was as alluring as it got. He asked me for my URL. I didnt have a clue what he was on about and he ignored me after I said "oh yes please". I was heart broken.
Since then I have always wanted to have the flicker of romance that only words suggest. So it happened again, except this time he wasnt a geeky IT bod. He was a drop dead gorgeous man, with an amazing body, dark hair and smouldering eyes that pierced my soul when he looked at me. In fact I couldnt face looking at him when I walked past his desk at work, he gave me THAT feeling. You know, the embarrassing heart racing sweaty palm feeling. Devestating handsome, he wouldnt be interested in me in real life and yet I hid behind the words in my computer and created a whole new life.
Except me being me I didnt, I just spoke frankly about the life I had and thought he was being funny when he claimed he was just a boring surveyor. As I discovered thats just what he was. I spoke at length about my travels around Israel and the Middle East, Morocco and of course my beloved Italy. He spoke about days at the seaside and roadtrips to Barnsley. I thought he was being ironic. He wasnt. And yet he fascinated me, but why? I put it down to the thrill of the chase, the passion, the romance and the knowing I just couldnt have him.
Sometimes he would send me 20 emails a day, while I responded, looking deep in thought at my corporate desk while secretly feeling the anxiety and anticipation of his words. His geeky words. Why he continued it is lost on me really, I never thought either of us would actually do anything about it. I could hardly even look him in the eye, nevermind talk to him in the flesh. It was during a powercut that things took a step forward and it was still one of the hottest moments of my life to date. Who knew just one kiss could have that effect. Well maybe a little bit more than a kiss, but, you know...
It ended abrubtly one day, I took it a step too far and the last email I ever received from him simply said "Emma!!!!!".
Even back then I started a strange friendship with a random guy, everytime an email popped up in my Compuserve account my heart would race. He was probably a 40 something beardy IT geek but to me he was as alluring as it got. He asked me for my URL. I didnt have a clue what he was on about and he ignored me after I said "oh yes please". I was heart broken.
Since then I have always wanted to have the flicker of romance that only words suggest. So it happened again, except this time he wasnt a geeky IT bod. He was a drop dead gorgeous man, with an amazing body, dark hair and smouldering eyes that pierced my soul when he looked at me. In fact I couldnt face looking at him when I walked past his desk at work, he gave me THAT feeling. You know, the embarrassing heart racing sweaty palm feeling. Devestating handsome, he wouldnt be interested in me in real life and yet I hid behind the words in my computer and created a whole new life.
Except me being me I didnt, I just spoke frankly about the life I had and thought he was being funny when he claimed he was just a boring surveyor. As I discovered thats just what he was. I spoke at length about my travels around Israel and the Middle East, Morocco and of course my beloved Italy. He spoke about days at the seaside and roadtrips to Barnsley. I thought he was being ironic. He wasnt. And yet he fascinated me, but why? I put it down to the thrill of the chase, the passion, the romance and the knowing I just couldnt have him.
Sometimes he would send me 20 emails a day, while I responded, looking deep in thought at my corporate desk while secretly feeling the anxiety and anticipation of his words. His geeky words. Why he continued it is lost on me really, I never thought either of us would actually do anything about it. I could hardly even look him in the eye, nevermind talk to him in the flesh. It was during a powercut that things took a step forward and it was still one of the hottest moments of my life to date. Who knew just one kiss could have that effect. Well maybe a little bit more than a kiss, but, you know...
It ended abrubtly one day, I took it a step too far and the last email I ever received from him simply said "Emma!!!!!".
Server Room Seduction. A new genre of Romance?
After I briefly blogged about my reluctant muse, a few people asked me about him, and it got me thinking. Despite the embarrassment of him running away from me in Tesco whenever I saw him later, it’s worth the shame to finally get the tale out. Here is the story. In its glory. There are some raunchy bits in it, so you have been warned.
Ok well, it was a few years ago now. I think it could have been six or seven, it doesn’t matter. I was just out of a long term relationship and certainly not looking for anyone special. I have always been the marrying type, and part of me yearned, for once, not to be. A little like Nicole in "Just Tell Me" when really my alter ego was screaming "Just Fuck Me".
So, I was about 28 and at a loose end. I was working in Leeds as an IT contractor, looking after the network and PCs for a largish property company. On the fourth floor of a 70s office block, the fifth floor was designated for the directors and the surveyors. My desk was tucked away in the corner, near the accountants and it gave me the freedom to browse what and when I wanted. Remember, this was in the days before Facebook, so really there wasn’t anything worth browsing for.
Now at this point, there’s something you need to know, something I hadn’t told anyone else about. I had been getting e-mails from a user called Dan Turner and he was quite amusing for a mere user. You see, us IT professionals have a strict code of conduct when it comes to fraternising with the user community. We just don’t do it. They are not the same as us, any attempt at friendship is just a ploy for preferential treatment, but Dan was different. And the strange thing was, I didn’t even know who he was or what he looked like, just that he was a surveyor on the 5th floor. His emails were light and entertaining and we shared an interest in the same music and films, so I allowed him the privilege of email discussion without the usual irony and sarcasm which flows between IT geeks.
It was hot that summer and I had to spend endless time walking up and down the stairs to the fifth floor carrying boxes of computer parts. I remember walking up the stairs behind him with a box of switches and I noticed his shoes. Silly thing to notice but it was just at the right eye height. They were good shoes, black and shiny. He opened the door for me and our eyes met, and bloody hell, it was like he could see into my soul. A small smile danced on his lips as I brushed past with my box of switches and my stomach flipped in a nervous reaction. Trust me, all you need to know at this stage was he was gorgeous. He was mid 30s, short dark hair and brown eyes, about 6ft and his suit fitted him perfectly.
I muttered my thanks and ran to the confines and safety of Server Room 2. The cool, air conditioned windowless room was the inner sanctuary of the IT department. Only a few choice people knew the key code, users could only wonder as to the devilment that occurred behind those doors. Two racks of black HP servers and a UPS powerful enough to keep the whole of Leeds charged for a week. It was the days before virtualisation, when everything needed a server. I stood and let the air conditioning blow my hair, it wasn’t as long as it is now, but still below shoulder length, dark and naturally curly. I felt slightly sweaty from running up the stairs, and meeting that gorgeous man.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I automatically checked my email. It was a time when the novelty of getting email on your phone was still fresh. Email, on your phone! It was from Dan Turner
Emma.
Are you staying in that room for the rest of the day?
Dan
I actually thought it was a bit creepy at the time that he had noticed me from a distance. I was going to reply back but my phone buzzed again
Emma.
I think my computer isn’t working, I need some help.
Dan.
I laughed and replied
Dan.
ok, I guess it’s good to put a name to a face at last, where do you sit?
Emma
He told me and I walked back out into the busy office and headed towards his desk, expecting a middle aged beardy surveyor.
It was only as I approached that I realised the gorgeous man from earlier was actually Dan. I composed myself as I stood next to his desk and his eyes glanced over me, the slightest hint of a smile playing on his lips.
“Emma”. He just spoke my name and I must admit, that was it, I sort of melted into a gibbering wreck. Just the way he said my name. A question on his lips as he spoke. I felt awkward, this was Dan? Yet the Dan I had been joking with on the e-mail had no resemblance in my head to this stunning individual sat at his desk. I looked at his IT problem and had to kneel down to see what he was showing me. Our hands almost touched but I couldn’t, I couldn’t even look at him. I laughed and walked away. I had to get away, this was terrible. My nerves were shot and I sat back down at my desk. Another email popped up on my screen.
Emma.
you ran away, something wrong?
Dan
I felt unnerved, but at the same time I couldn’t help but feel intrigued. But, he was a geek. A gorgeous, attractive geeky man.
I was definitely interested in Dan. I just didn’t want a relationship, and I had never been the type of woman to have sex with a stranger, I need the mental connection first to truly feel that the sex is worth it. Trouble is, when you have worked so hard developing that connection, the sex is great and inevitably a relationship follows. This time I didn’t want any of this, I just wanted, well hot sex.
The weeks passed by, Dan and I continually chatted on e-mail, some days in excess of 20 emails a day and I occasionally made it to the 5th floor where I tried my best to look relaxed and cool. I found myself making excuses to visit the 5th floor and often stood in Server Room 2 looking blankly about, wondering what the hell I was actually doing. It felt a little obsessive, and I certainly had to admit I was fascinated with Dan. It was strange, we had formed a strange friendship through email and yet I had hardly spoken to him. Somehow the voice in my head which read his emails didn’t assimilate to the gorgeous man sat at his desk on the 5th floor.
Meanwhile the emails were taking a more suggestive tone. Mainly led by me. My online personality was, I discovered, a little wilder than the real life version. Only a little, the truth was the same. He sometimes joined in but still, it was mainly me. When I look back now, I still cringe, that poor man. The weeks flew by, he was just as geeky as ever and I knew some of the messages were a little too much for him, but I couldn’t help it.
I could almost see his eyes widen as I pressed send on some of the more suggestive ones. When he told me he was shy and quiet in real life, I thought he was joking. I couldn’t imagine someone as hot as him was an actual geek. It just wasn’t possible, I rationalised as I told him some antics from a recent weekend, clubbing and dancing and drinking all night. When he told me he couldn’t dance, I thought he was joking. When he said he had no idea about fashion, again I thought he was joking. And so it continued. I wasn’t going to ask him out for a drink, neither was he and we carried on. It was driving me crazy. I wanted him, and yet I couldn’t bear to look him in the eye, what kind of strange goings on was this? It wasn’t normal, nor doing anything for my sex drive. Nothing was ever going to happen between us, and I tried to keep the tone pleasant and friendly. I had told him things I don’t anyone else knew about me, he was a friend on the e-mail but a stranger in real life. It was confusing, I didn’t understand it anymore.
It was one day in September when the power went off. I was sat at my desk, and the sudden sound of electricity draining matched the sounds of users moaning as their computers suddenly failed. I don’t get it, users spend so much time whinging about working, when they get the chance to skive they come across all awwww about it. Get a grip you foolish user people with your spreadsheets and your risk assessments. The office was plunged into natural light, for once the glow of the electric lights had gone, just left with a strange twilight feeling.
I knew I had to go to the Server Room 2 to gracefully switch off the servers and so I walked up the stairs in the dark, all I could actually think about was meeting Dan the opposite way. I couldn’t see him when I reached the 5th floor and I felt a little disappointed, he had emailed me earlier and he hadn’t mentioned he was going out, which he often tended to do. I opened the server room 2 door, glad to see some light was being produced by the backup lights, and wedged the door open as I sat down at the console. I quickly initiated a shutdown on all the main servers when I heard the door close behind me. I knew it was him, I just knew it, all my senses were on alert.
“Hi Emma” he smiled at me, and for once I didn’t feel nervous round him, the air was charged with meaning as he stood in front of me. The half light was enough to see the look in his eyes. I barely smiled as I stood up and he stepped towards me. I felt the wall behind me and he ran his hand down my face. The first time he had ever touched me. His hand was like fire on my bare skin. My breathing was shallow, I could hear myself swallow.
He ran his hand over my hair, and surprised me when he wrapped it round his hand and gently pulled me towards him, leaning down to kiss me. I still had my eyes open and he watched me as he placed the kiss gently on my lips. My arms automatically wrapped round his neck. I had gone from never touching him, to a moment of intimacy in seconds; I could feel the urgency rushing through my body. I needed this man, I could feel how hard he was as I pushed myself closer to him and a small moan escaped from his mouth. His tongue gently teased mine, I wanted to feel his lips over my body, yet it was just a kiss. A kiss that brought me to the brink of orgasm.
The electricity fired back to life, and I stepped away as the harsh light hit the server room. Suddenly I felt embarrassed again to be near him, it was as thought the subdued light of the power cut had lowered my inhibitions. As though he shared my nervousness, he quickly left as I turned to switch the servers on. His kiss was still on my lips, and I could feel my body tingle in excitement. I wanted this man. Would one kiss be enough to satisfy my craving for him?
I returned to my desk, expecting an email from him, but there was nothing.
Do you want to know what happened next? why he ran away from me in Tescos only a few weeks later, please let me know if you are reading it!
Ok well, it was a few years ago now. I think it could have been six or seven, it doesn’t matter. I was just out of a long term relationship and certainly not looking for anyone special. I have always been the marrying type, and part of me yearned, for once, not to be. A little like Nicole in "Just Tell Me" when really my alter ego was screaming "Just Fuck Me".
So, I was about 28 and at a loose end. I was working in Leeds as an IT contractor, looking after the network and PCs for a largish property company. On the fourth floor of a 70s office block, the fifth floor was designated for the directors and the surveyors. My desk was tucked away in the corner, near the accountants and it gave me the freedom to browse what and when I wanted. Remember, this was in the days before Facebook, so really there wasn’t anything worth browsing for.
Now at this point, there’s something you need to know, something I hadn’t told anyone else about. I had been getting e-mails from a user called Dan Turner and he was quite amusing for a mere user. You see, us IT professionals have a strict code of conduct when it comes to fraternising with the user community. We just don’t do it. They are not the same as us, any attempt at friendship is just a ploy for preferential treatment, but Dan was different. And the strange thing was, I didn’t even know who he was or what he looked like, just that he was a surveyor on the 5th floor. His emails were light and entertaining and we shared an interest in the same music and films, so I allowed him the privilege of email discussion without the usual irony and sarcasm which flows between IT geeks.
It was hot that summer and I had to spend endless time walking up and down the stairs to the fifth floor carrying boxes of computer parts. I remember walking up the stairs behind him with a box of switches and I noticed his shoes. Silly thing to notice but it was just at the right eye height. They were good shoes, black and shiny. He opened the door for me and our eyes met, and bloody hell, it was like he could see into my soul. A small smile danced on his lips as I brushed past with my box of switches and my stomach flipped in a nervous reaction. Trust me, all you need to know at this stage was he was gorgeous. He was mid 30s, short dark hair and brown eyes, about 6ft and his suit fitted him perfectly.
I muttered my thanks and ran to the confines and safety of Server Room 2. The cool, air conditioned windowless room was the inner sanctuary of the IT department. Only a few choice people knew the key code, users could only wonder as to the devilment that occurred behind those doors. Two racks of black HP servers and a UPS powerful enough to keep the whole of Leeds charged for a week. It was the days before virtualisation, when everything needed a server. I stood and let the air conditioning blow my hair, it wasn’t as long as it is now, but still below shoulder length, dark and naturally curly. I felt slightly sweaty from running up the stairs, and meeting that gorgeous man.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I automatically checked my email. It was a time when the novelty of getting email on your phone was still fresh. Email, on your phone! It was from Dan Turner
Emma.
Are you staying in that room for the rest of the day?
Dan
I actually thought it was a bit creepy at the time that he had noticed me from a distance. I was going to reply back but my phone buzzed again
Emma.
I think my computer isn’t working, I need some help.
Dan.
I laughed and replied
Dan.
ok, I guess it’s good to put a name to a face at last, where do you sit?
Emma
He told me and I walked back out into the busy office and headed towards his desk, expecting a middle aged beardy surveyor.
It was only as I approached that I realised the gorgeous man from earlier was actually Dan. I composed myself as I stood next to his desk and his eyes glanced over me, the slightest hint of a smile playing on his lips.
“Emma”. He just spoke my name and I must admit, that was it, I sort of melted into a gibbering wreck. Just the way he said my name. A question on his lips as he spoke. I felt awkward, this was Dan? Yet the Dan I had been joking with on the e-mail had no resemblance in my head to this stunning individual sat at his desk. I looked at his IT problem and had to kneel down to see what he was showing me. Our hands almost touched but I couldn’t, I couldn’t even look at him. I laughed and walked away. I had to get away, this was terrible. My nerves were shot and I sat back down at my desk. Another email popped up on my screen.
Emma.
you ran away, something wrong?
Dan
I felt unnerved, but at the same time I couldn’t help but feel intrigued. But, he was a geek. A gorgeous, attractive geeky man.
I was definitely interested in Dan. I just didn’t want a relationship, and I had never been the type of woman to have sex with a stranger, I need the mental connection first to truly feel that the sex is worth it. Trouble is, when you have worked so hard developing that connection, the sex is great and inevitably a relationship follows. This time I didn’t want any of this, I just wanted, well hot sex.
The weeks passed by, Dan and I continually chatted on e-mail, some days in excess of 20 emails a day and I occasionally made it to the 5th floor where I tried my best to look relaxed and cool. I found myself making excuses to visit the 5th floor and often stood in Server Room 2 looking blankly about, wondering what the hell I was actually doing. It felt a little obsessive, and I certainly had to admit I was fascinated with Dan. It was strange, we had formed a strange friendship through email and yet I had hardly spoken to him. Somehow the voice in my head which read his emails didn’t assimilate to the gorgeous man sat at his desk on the 5th floor.
Meanwhile the emails were taking a more suggestive tone. Mainly led by me. My online personality was, I discovered, a little wilder than the real life version. Only a little, the truth was the same. He sometimes joined in but still, it was mainly me. When I look back now, I still cringe, that poor man. The weeks flew by, he was just as geeky as ever and I knew some of the messages were a little too much for him, but I couldn’t help it.
I could almost see his eyes widen as I pressed send on some of the more suggestive ones. When he told me he was shy and quiet in real life, I thought he was joking. I couldn’t imagine someone as hot as him was an actual geek. It just wasn’t possible, I rationalised as I told him some antics from a recent weekend, clubbing and dancing and drinking all night. When he told me he couldn’t dance, I thought he was joking. When he said he had no idea about fashion, again I thought he was joking. And so it continued. I wasn’t going to ask him out for a drink, neither was he and we carried on. It was driving me crazy. I wanted him, and yet I couldn’t bear to look him in the eye, what kind of strange goings on was this? It wasn’t normal, nor doing anything for my sex drive. Nothing was ever going to happen between us, and I tried to keep the tone pleasant and friendly. I had told him things I don’t anyone else knew about me, he was a friend on the e-mail but a stranger in real life. It was confusing, I didn’t understand it anymore.
It was one day in September when the power went off. I was sat at my desk, and the sudden sound of electricity draining matched the sounds of users moaning as their computers suddenly failed. I don’t get it, users spend so much time whinging about working, when they get the chance to skive they come across all awwww about it. Get a grip you foolish user people with your spreadsheets and your risk assessments. The office was plunged into natural light, for once the glow of the electric lights had gone, just left with a strange twilight feeling.
I knew I had to go to the Server Room 2 to gracefully switch off the servers and so I walked up the stairs in the dark, all I could actually think about was meeting Dan the opposite way. I couldn’t see him when I reached the 5th floor and I felt a little disappointed, he had emailed me earlier and he hadn’t mentioned he was going out, which he often tended to do. I opened the server room 2 door, glad to see some light was being produced by the backup lights, and wedged the door open as I sat down at the console. I quickly initiated a shutdown on all the main servers when I heard the door close behind me. I knew it was him, I just knew it, all my senses were on alert.
“Hi Emma” he smiled at me, and for once I didn’t feel nervous round him, the air was charged with meaning as he stood in front of me. The half light was enough to see the look in his eyes. I barely smiled as I stood up and he stepped towards me. I felt the wall behind me and he ran his hand down my face. The first time he had ever touched me. His hand was like fire on my bare skin. My breathing was shallow, I could hear myself swallow.
He ran his hand over my hair, and surprised me when he wrapped it round his hand and gently pulled me towards him, leaning down to kiss me. I still had my eyes open and he watched me as he placed the kiss gently on my lips. My arms automatically wrapped round his neck. I had gone from never touching him, to a moment of intimacy in seconds; I could feel the urgency rushing through my body. I needed this man, I could feel how hard he was as I pushed myself closer to him and a small moan escaped from his mouth. His tongue gently teased mine, I wanted to feel his lips over my body, yet it was just a kiss. A kiss that brought me to the brink of orgasm.
The electricity fired back to life, and I stepped away as the harsh light hit the server room. Suddenly I felt embarrassed again to be near him, it was as thought the subdued light of the power cut had lowered my inhibitions. As though he shared my nervousness, he quickly left as I turned to switch the servers on. His kiss was still on my lips, and I could feel my body tingle in excitement. I wanted this man. Would one kiss be enough to satisfy my craving for him?
I returned to my desk, expecting an email from him, but there was nothing.
Do you want to know what happened next? why he ran away from me in Tescos only a few weeks later, please let me know if you are reading it!
You're insane! - But it's my character, not me, honestly!
This week has been hellish. Well, maybe a little more strange than usual, to say the least. I was told I was insane by my absolutely NOT normal manager. I replied, no not insane, it's the creative genius that comes with opening that part of your mind when writing.
I suspect a lot of writers have that bordering insanity, whether its anxiety at a bad/mediocre review, or a worry about their storyline. I have yet to experience writers block, indeed I appear to find inspiration to write on a daily basis. If I ever found myself staring blankly at the screen, I would take it as a sign. I'm free! thank god! The characters have left me alone at last.
So these characters, where do they come from? I have been asked this question a few times, and have been unable to give a concise answer. Friends nudge me, oh they can see my character in my people. Now, I didn't think that was the case.
The women in my books so far, Nicole Shaw and Anna Morgan are fictional people, not based on anyone I know personally. Poor Libby doesn't even have a surname yet! I'm sure there must be traits of me in Nicole, but no, she's like my quiet friend. Apart from her love of good food, Italy and gorgeous dark haired men. I'm more likely to relate to Anna, she's more confident and career focused, but even that isn't strictly true of me either. Libby? well she discovers she's a lesbian so I'm not sure.
I went to see a medium a few months ago, when I started writing "Just Tell Me" and I couldn't stop thinking about the people, the story had taken over my life. I felt the real emotions of my characters when they went through their story, I thought I was cracking up. Maybe I should have just got professional help back then. Daniel MacIntyre had become real to me, and I needed some assurance I wasn't going crazy. So I went to see a fortune teller, because that clearly would reassure me. She told me I was channelling the spirit world into my books and that the people were telling their story through my writing.
Ok, so that sounds crazy. Not insane though, just crazy. Well not as crazy as when an actual man called Daniel MacIntyre appeared on my Twitter feed. That was really freaky.
I started to see coincidences in my real life to my creative one. But post writing. I had to admit, It was time to stop for a while and get a grip. What makes some people obsessed over stories? is it an escape from real life? My real life doesn't seem that bad though!
Maybe the fortune teller is right. Are the characters actual entities or just figments of a vivid imagination? As adults we are encouraged to be sensible and leave our inner child in the past. Who knows? but I do know writers are a little bit insane so I guess I've found my niche in life.
I suspect a lot of writers have that bordering insanity, whether its anxiety at a bad/mediocre review, or a worry about their storyline. I have yet to experience writers block, indeed I appear to find inspiration to write on a daily basis. If I ever found myself staring blankly at the screen, I would take it as a sign. I'm free! thank god! The characters have left me alone at last.
So these characters, where do they come from? I have been asked this question a few times, and have been unable to give a concise answer. Friends nudge me, oh they can see my character in my people. Now, I didn't think that was the case.
The women in my books so far, Nicole Shaw and Anna Morgan are fictional people, not based on anyone I know personally. Poor Libby doesn't even have a surname yet! I'm sure there must be traits of me in Nicole, but no, she's like my quiet friend. Apart from her love of good food, Italy and gorgeous dark haired men. I'm more likely to relate to Anna, she's more confident and career focused, but even that isn't strictly true of me either. Libby? well she discovers she's a lesbian so I'm not sure.
I went to see a medium a few months ago, when I started writing "Just Tell Me" and I couldn't stop thinking about the people, the story had taken over my life. I felt the real emotions of my characters when they went through their story, I thought I was cracking up. Maybe I should have just got professional help back then. Daniel MacIntyre had become real to me, and I needed some assurance I wasn't going crazy. So I went to see a fortune teller, because that clearly would reassure me. She told me I was channelling the spirit world into my books and that the people were telling their story through my writing.
Ok, so that sounds crazy. Not insane though, just crazy. Well not as crazy as when an actual man called Daniel MacIntyre appeared on my Twitter feed. That was really freaky.
I started to see coincidences in my real life to my creative one. But post writing. I had to admit, It was time to stop for a while and get a grip. What makes some people obsessed over stories? is it an escape from real life? My real life doesn't seem that bad though!
Maybe the fortune teller is right. Are the characters actual entities or just figments of a vivid imagination? As adults we are encouraged to be sensible and leave our inner child in the past. Who knows? but I do know writers are a little bit insane so I guess I've found my niche in life.
