Emma Appleton's Blog - Posts Tagged "email-romance"
A Reluctant Muse
I have always been interested in the relationship you can have with a person online, one of the reasons for writing "Just Tell Me". I remember when the internet started to become popular, oh sometime in 2006 when it started to be used for more than just the occassional work message. Anyone reading this geeky enough to remember Exchange 5.5 knows what I mean.
Even back then I started a strange friendship with a random guy, everytime an email popped up in my Compuserve account my heart would race. He was probably a 40 something beardy IT geek but to me he was as alluring as it got. He asked me for my URL. I didnt have a clue what he was on about and he ignored me after I said "oh yes please". I was heart broken.
Since then I have always wanted to have the flicker of romance that only words suggest. So it happened again, except this time he wasnt a geeky IT bod. He was a drop dead gorgeous man, with an amazing body, dark hair and smouldering eyes that pierced my soul when he looked at me. In fact I couldnt face looking at him when I walked past his desk at work, he gave me THAT feeling. You know, the embarrassing heart racing sweaty palm feeling. Devestating handsome, he wouldnt be interested in me in real life and yet I hid behind the words in my computer and created a whole new life.
Except me being me I didnt, I just spoke frankly about the life I had and thought he was being funny when he claimed he was just a boring surveyor. As I discovered thats just what he was. I spoke at length about my travels around Israel and the Middle East, Morocco and of course my beloved Italy. He spoke about days at the seaside and roadtrips to Barnsley. I thought he was being ironic. He wasnt. And yet he fascinated me, but why? I put it down to the thrill of the chase, the passion, the romance and the knowing I just couldnt have him.
Sometimes he would send me 20 emails a day, while I responded, looking deep in thought at my corporate desk while secretly feeling the anxiety and anticipation of his words. His geeky words. Why he continued it is lost on me really, I never thought either of us would actually do anything about it. I could hardly even look him in the eye, nevermind talk to him in the flesh. It was during a powercut that things took a step forward and it was still one of the hottest moments of my life to date. Who knew just one kiss could have that effect. Well maybe a little bit more than a kiss, but, you know...
It ended abrubtly one day, I took it a step too far and the last email I ever received from him simply said "Emma!!!!!".
Even back then I started a strange friendship with a random guy, everytime an email popped up in my Compuserve account my heart would race. He was probably a 40 something beardy IT geek but to me he was as alluring as it got. He asked me for my URL. I didnt have a clue what he was on about and he ignored me after I said "oh yes please". I was heart broken.
Since then I have always wanted to have the flicker of romance that only words suggest. So it happened again, except this time he wasnt a geeky IT bod. He was a drop dead gorgeous man, with an amazing body, dark hair and smouldering eyes that pierced my soul when he looked at me. In fact I couldnt face looking at him when I walked past his desk at work, he gave me THAT feeling. You know, the embarrassing heart racing sweaty palm feeling. Devestating handsome, he wouldnt be interested in me in real life and yet I hid behind the words in my computer and created a whole new life.
Except me being me I didnt, I just spoke frankly about the life I had and thought he was being funny when he claimed he was just a boring surveyor. As I discovered thats just what he was. I spoke at length about my travels around Israel and the Middle East, Morocco and of course my beloved Italy. He spoke about days at the seaside and roadtrips to Barnsley. I thought he was being ironic. He wasnt. And yet he fascinated me, but why? I put it down to the thrill of the chase, the passion, the romance and the knowing I just couldnt have him.
Sometimes he would send me 20 emails a day, while I responded, looking deep in thought at my corporate desk while secretly feeling the anxiety and anticipation of his words. His geeky words. Why he continued it is lost on me really, I never thought either of us would actually do anything about it. I could hardly even look him in the eye, nevermind talk to him in the flesh. It was during a powercut that things took a step forward and it was still one of the hottest moments of my life to date. Who knew just one kiss could have that effect. Well maybe a little bit more than a kiss, but, you know...
It ended abrubtly one day, I took it a step too far and the last email I ever received from him simply said "Emma!!!!!".
