Sue Baiman's Blog, page 13

Magic Spreadsheet Challenge

So,  lots of writers are trying this thing called the Magic Spreadsheet.  I heard about it from Mur Lafferty on her podcast, “I Should Be Writing” and my friend Veronica. The Magic Spreadsheet is designed to reward a writer who has a daily writing habit more than the writer who binge writes every so often.  I’ve heard stories about writers who will even jump out of bed to go hammer out their daily minimum rather than risk breaking their “chain” and starting back at square one.

One of my good friends is a novelist and wants to improve the frequency with which he writes (as do I).   The initial requirement is just 250 words a day…every day. How hard can it be to put down 250 every day? Well, if you tend to write relatively short poems like I do…pretty damn hard. But, I’ve been working on writing longer, more involved pieces so hopefully this will help.  I also want to work on my prose.  So, I figured between poems, blog posts (this is my words for today) and eventually prose, I can do this (crossing fingers probably couldn’t hurt though).

So, my friend and I are currently trying out the MS; but come December 31, we’re both going to throw down zeros and start from scratch on New Years Day.  The deal is that on Friday, May 22, 2014 (the day Balticon officially starts) whomever has the higher score wins. At stake, is one drink. Loser buys. AND…must proclaim loudly to a bar full of our friends that they have been bested by the other.

I’m fond of saying…

Just.  Keep.  Writing.

And I’ll continue to tell him that and encourage him to write every day while secretly (or not so secretly I suppose) hoping he has a moment of weakness (preferably in April or May) so that I’m victorious.

I’ll be posting regular updates on Twitter and occasionally here as well.

And for the record, this post netted me 330 words for the day…

The Strawberry Ice Cream Battle

I thought about titling this The Strawberry Ice Cream War but I’m not sure if it has escalated to an all out war. Yet. Battle might even be a bit strong. Skirmish and ninja assault might be more accurate…

Some background first. Max, the oldest of my boys (20) loves strawberry ice cream. But not just any strawberry ice cream. The kind with no pieces of strawberries. Smooth. Pink. Perfect.  The only place I’ve found such a thing is in the Neopolitan of a local creamery. Every so often I buy a container knowing full well that he will remove the entire center section of the ice cream with surgical precision.

My youngest son, J (9), was not aware of his big brother’s penchant for eviscerating ice cream. A few weeks ago, I made sure he got a bowl that had all the flavors so that when the inevitable happened he would already have had some of each. In hindsight, I probably should have also warned him about what would happen.

A day or two after we opened the carton, J decided he wanted some ice cream. When he saw the container with vanilla on one side, chocolate on the other, and complete nothingness in the middle, he lost his shit. The boy had a complete meltdown. I tried to explain that it was okay. In fact, expected. In between gasping for air. This was one of those moments when someone’s reaction was so over the top as to be hysterically funny. After a few minutes, he calmed down, had vanilla and chocolate and seemed to get how funny he had been. Everything went back to normal.

This past Friday I got a new container of Neopolitan. Over the weekend J had some ice cream. Never a lot at one time. But a couple of times. I didn’t notice exactly which flavor(s) he was scooping.

Tonight, my middle son, C (16) decided he’d like some ice cream.  J is with his dad, so it was just me, C, and Max. C heads into the kitchen and a minute later exclaims, “What the hell?”  When Max and I asked what was wrong, he brought the ice cream container out to show us the carton with no strawberry as it had crudely been scooped out along with most of the vanilla.

“Son of a bitch”, Max said under his breath right before we convulsed into laughter. Poor C hadn’t been there for J’s meltdown so we had to explain to him why his little brother sabotaged the ice cream. We laughed until it hurt.

I’m thinking I either need to split the strawberry next time, buy them each their own container, or find a brand that leaves out the strawberry pieces so I can get a whole container of the stuff. Otherwise, it will become an all out war.

I have to say though, J’s ninja skills were pretty impressive. It isn’t often someone eats much of anything that’s Max’s favorite without him knowing about it. Let alone all of it.

Max’s face when he saw it was priceless. I can’t wait to tell J about it.

The Roads Not Travelled

When those two roads diverge

The lesson of taking the one less travelled

Is clear and well known

What a difference choice makes

Following your heart

Not taking the well-worn, easy path

To your heart’s desire

But what about when the road not travelled

Is not taken

Forsaken

Due to no fault of your own?

Like when your family moves

Uprooting you from all you know?

Forcing you to start over

Regrow relationships

And find a new path

You hold that image of the path

In mind

Trying to chart a new course

To the same destination.

To where?

Wasn’t he heading home?

And home has now changed.

And the metaphors is about life

And traveling through it.

So where was I headed before?

Before my world changed

I knew what I wanted.

And as soon as I thought

I’d figured it all out again

My world changed again

That bottom falling out feeling

Of the ride that spins so fast

Became my existence.

And my entire childhood

Became a blur

So the road not travelled

Has become the what ifs…

The who would I have become?

The how would I be different?

The would I have made

The same mistakes?

Similar choices?

Would my flaws be similar?

Would I be similar?

To the me I am now?

Every time my world changed

I had to find the paths again

With no fixed goal

No ultimate destination

In mind

And the woods grew thicker

The sky was that much darker

Time was moving on

Even as I was not

Stumbling around

Lost in those damn woods.

Each time I left friends behind

I held on less tightly

You’ll make new friends

Yes, I got pretty good at that

Until I figured out

It doesn’t matter

They still won’t get to come with me

The next time my world spun.

So I got used to me

Being the only constant

In my life.

And who’s to say

Who or what I would have become

Had the road not followed

Been the one I walked

Instead of the regrets

Of things I couldn’t change

Some times when the world is cold

And the snow is falling quietly

I still wish I was in those woods

Where I knew both where I was

And which way was home

So that I could make the choice

Of which path to take

Safe in the knowledge

That either way led home

And the things I experienced

Upon the journey

Were up to me.

December Yarn Sale

For the entire month of December, you can save 50% of orders of $100 or more from my Etsy shop. Just use the coupon 50OFF100 at checkout.

December

I’ve decided to take the entire month of December as one for reflection, introspection, planning, and research. Typically, I do this kind of thinking around New Year’s Day. I dream about where I want to be and what I want to do without putting anything in place to help me get from A to B. Follow-through (or the lack thereof) is a huge weakness of mine. As is being scattered. My ADD fu is very strong. So I want to see if rather than only thinking about these things on one day; if I spend an entire month not just thinking but putting some new tools into place, can I be more effective in pursuing my goals and dreams.

I just read through a post I wrote in January. And for the first time (that I can remember) I feel like I’ve actually accomplished more of what I set out to do in a year than not. That’s an amazing feeling. But I still have many areas where I fell short. So hopefully, this new approach will improve my results.

My successes for 2013 include publishing Deep Breaths & Chocolate; stepping up at work into a position of additional responsibilities including doing some peer training and learning progressively harder tasks; learning to manage my self-induced anxiety through reconditioning my responses and using relaxation exercises; dyeing another exciting group of Balticon colorways, the sales of which enabled me to attend Balticon for my 4th year (and it was extra special because my youngest attended for the first time and I got to experience it through his eyes); I’ve worked with a number of talented writers for the first time this year (I hope I’ll be reading more great stories from them in the year to come); and in publishing my own book I created a publishing company, Bright Eyed Publications, through which I hope to publish other writers and poets in the future.

I still have issues with balance. I’m getting better at it; but I’m not yet where I want to be. I also failed miserably at writing this year. Focusing on publishing the poetry was a great excuse to not write prose. That was fine for this year; it’s not gonna work for next year. So, writing will be one of the focuses, focci? for next year. Along with audio work, writing more poetry, publishing the next book, and learning the technical skills I need to be able to turn everything up a notch. So, I have lots of planning, scheduling, and research to do to get ready for the next chapter in this adventure we call life…

 

Half Price eBook Sale

Publishing Deep Breaths & Chocolate is one of my biggest achievements of 2013. It represents a lot of hard work by myself and everyone who helped me realize the fulfillment of this dream. December will be a month of reflection on past goals and planning for future successes (another post on this is in the making). What better way to celebrate than to offer you a big discount on the ebook version?

So, from December 1st through December 8th, you can get the ebook version of Deep Breaths & Chocolate for HALF PRICE at Smashwords by using the coupon code GP22N during checkout!

Pep Talks

I give myself pep talks

When what I really wanna do

Is cry until I don’t have tears

Heart aching

Feel like breaking

But I ain’t got time

To give in to my fears

Life is harder

When all you ever feel is tired

And the only songs that mean anything

Are the blues

But I dig deep into my memory

To remind myself

Of all I’ve already survived.

And what’s one more trial

When you’re done with denial

All you’ve got is your strength

To push you on to your dreams

I know how it seems

But you have to believe

And even when I feel like giving in

I know I never will

When push comes to shove

You’re my only love

And I’ll do whatever I need to do

To make it through

One more minute

One more hour

Pushing myself through

Finding my power

Living day to day

Finding strength inside of me

And as long as I have breath

I know I’ll be okay

These pep talks remind me

To be thankful for the pain

Thankful for the trials

Because the fire makes me stronger

And when you can walk

Through hell and back

Trivialities are just that

If you feel like you are drowning

Be sure to lift your head

Keep your face tilted up

Breathe deep and push ahead

Just one more minute

One more hour

Hold your head high

Find your power

There is strength in all you do

All you’ve already come through

You can do whatever needs to be done

And you’ve won

Sleep

There is no rest

There is no sleep

No sweet dreams

No counting sheep

I am not rested

But forever weary

When I sleep alone

And you’re not near me

I lay my head down

And hope for rest

But it’s next to you

That I sleep the best

excerpt from a piece in progress

I’m not proud

Of every person I’ve been

And there’s no telling

How many roles

I’ve yet to be

But each incarnation

Of the convergence

Of what I need

And what the world requires

Is a unique version

Of me

Evolution

I am not just me

I am the sum total of

All my previous mes

Each me is unique

To a set of circumstances

And is of that time

Each relationship

Is another new instance

Of a unique me

I can never know

All of the prior yous of you

But I know you now

I can only hope

That all of our future ‘us’es

Evolve together