Jamie Farrell's Blog, page 6

Jamie’s Top Ten Pet Peeves

So, I try to keep it light and fluffy around here.  But just so y’all know I’m a real person, with more dark side to me than just my save-the-world naked-ninja dreams, today I’m talking pet peeves. And here they are,

The Top Ten Things That Annoy Me

10. Toys in my kitchen.

Yes, Buttercup’s doll is using ground beef as a pillow.

 

9. Cumin. (Seriously. I hate cumin with the passion of a million jilted Latin lovers.)

8. The cost of babysitters. Twenty years ago, I got paid a dollar an hour per kid. Now, if SuperHubby and I go out to dinner and a movie twice, we’ll be paying a teenager enough to buy an iPod.

7. When social networks turn into one big, never-ending stream of “BUY MY PRODUCT.” (Thank you, Tsu.co, for showing me the value of Facebook’s algorithms which hide promotional posts so I can see what my friends and family are actually up to.)

6. Food particles in my kitchen sink.

5. Dark, angsty, brooding books at the top of the Romantic Comedies bestseller list. Seriously, y’all?! These are funny books? (Side note: Go, Tracy Brogan!!)

Screen shot taken Monday night

 

4. The phrase, “Oh, you write books? I’ll bet you make a lot of money.” (Yeah, that’s not awkward at all. Also? Not true for the majority of writers.)

3. Running out of bacon. Or having to share my bacon. Or someone stealing my bacon.

2. When people cheat at Scrabble.

Nugatory? NUGATORY? Seriously. Who knows that word?

1. When peanut butter doesn’t cure my hiccups.

The comments are open, folks. Vent away. What are your biggest pet peeves?

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Whack-a-Doo Wednesday!

If it’s Wednesday, it must be time for me to open up my dream diary and let y’all have a peek at the crazy world in my unconscious head. This week, we’re going back in time to the days when Squeaker was just a wee little newborn baby and it was a wonder I had any chance to dream at all. Those dreams of mine really know how to use the time they’re given though. Check it out.

I had this incredibly detailed dream about eating a banana last night, and now I can’t find the last banana in the house. Did I eat it in my sleep, or did SuperHubby take it to work?

 

I still don’t know the answer to that question.

 

Had a dream I was showering in my garage with the door open (wearing underwear, thank goodness) while all my neighbors walked by on their way home from church. One stopped to take a second garbage can away, since apparently she used to live at my house, and let her four kids loose with SuperHubby’s tools so I yelled at all of them to get out of my house.

That’s right. I’m the one who yells, “Get off my lawn!” Y’all can picture that, right?

 

Passed out hard on my couch and had a dream I was floating across the ocean on a single-person, self-propelled raft that knew to avoid the sea-rescue helicopters that came in as we arrived in a flooded Seattle. Oddly enough, the subway wasn’t flooded (does Seattle even have an underground subway?), and I apparently knew where I was going.

This couldn’t possibly have had anything to do with having a newborn in the house…

 

Had a dream a grizzly bear got in the house through an open window after I broke my toilet. Personally, I think that toilet needed to be replaced, because it was ugly yellow and didn’t sit level and had a seat that kept falling apart. Apparently my subconscious agrees, though I’m not going to do anything about it since the toilet doesn’t exist in my real life.

At least, the toilet didn’t exist in that house. 

 

I had a dream last night that I had to quarantine six highly contagious washing machines because they were making bad bubbles.

I’m a little disappointed in this last one. The dream I had about the dishwasher when SuperHubby and I were engaged was a much better large appliance dream. (In my dream, I put him inside the dishwasher until he could be a good little leprechaun. Just in case you’re wondering. And yes, I told him about the dream before our wedding, and yet he still married me. The man is a saint, y’all. Except for the part where he steals bananas and lets me think I ate them in my sleep.)

And now I’ll leave you for the day with a link to my favorite funny internet moment from last week--this post about Sixteen Hilarious Things People Have Said In Their Sleep. Have a great day, y’all!

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Munchkin vs. His Spelling Words

Every week, Munchkin brings a word list home. He has to choose at least three “learning” activities to do with his words, and a couple of those activities involve using my computer. But in order to earn the privilege of using my computer, he has to prove to me that he knows his words. (I’m evil like that.) So every Monday, I make him spell his words to me.

Except Munchkin is six, which means the concept of standing still is foreign to him. Which led to last week’s impromptu spelling recital.

It started innocently enough. I read him a word. He sang the letters while twirling in a circle, making emphatic hand movements on each letter. But then… we hit the word brave.

“B,” he sang, his arms wide.

Then he twirled. “R!”

“A,” he sang, his little voice getting higher-pitched.

Then he crooned “V!” with a mega-big double twist.

And then… the grand finale.

He turned so that his backside was facing me, bend double, and while he crooned, “EEEEEEE!” he shook his little rump.

With all his might.

Just as SuperHubby walked in the door.

I sent a note to Munchkin’s teacher and suggested that Interpretive Letter Dance now officially be listed as an option for completing word study every week. I’ll let you know if that gets approves.

Have a great day, y’all!

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Munchkin Monday!

Welcome to a new week, y’all! This week for Munchkin Monday, we’re traveling back three years in time to Squeaker’s early toddler days. Enjoy!

“Mommy, last night, I dreamed there were cars, and there was a lady, and she was pink with purple stripes, and I used my manners to her, and she gave me a car, and Guess. What. It was a GIRL car. And then there was a movie, and then everyone had food in this hand and drink in this hand, and they were eating this food and drinking this and then. And then. And then the lady gave me food, and then the movie started. And the lady was pink with purple stripes.”

I seriously adore that this kid still tells me his dreams at least once a week. I hope he’s still calling me to tell me when he’s sixty-five.

 

Does “uh-oh” count as a first word? Because if so, Squeaker has it down.

*Sniff, sniff* Now he has many, many words down.

 

Munchkin: “Daddy, we should go get me a donut so I can eat it later. Is that a good plan?”

Squeaker: “Nuh-uh.”

They still disagree, but never about donuts anymore.

 

How to entertain children: “Munchkin, let’s clean out the dryer vents while Squeaker’s sleeping.”

Munchkin: “YAY!! Can I help? I want to do it!”

Far be it from me to discourage this kind of behavior.

 

Tonight, Munchkin dipped his green beans in ketchup. And that’s the least gross thing he’s done.

Life with boys, y’all.

 

Bath time tonight started with Munchkin saying, “Look, mommy, yellow water!” in a (thank heavens) closed bath cup, and has now progressed to wet washcloths over his face while he grunts, “I’m Spiderman.”

 

Some things still haven’t changed. I swear Squeaker did this just last week.

 

And last but not least, a classic SuperHubby gem:

Me: “I had a dream we had a baby last night.”

SuperHubby: “Was the baby human?”

Fair question…

 

Have a great week, y’all!

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Tracy March Winner and a Sunday Snippet!!

Yay! I love that Sundays mean winners around here. Hope y’all enjoy that too! And I have your winner… but first, a little snippet from my novella in the Snowy Days, Steamy Nights anthology!

From Smittened:

“You get dinner?” Mikey asked.

A little gruffly, but still.

He’d asked.

“I’m fine,” Dahlia said.

He snorted again. “Right.”

That did it. She pushed to her feet and hit the light. He squinted. She did too, but she also poked a finger in his direction. “I am fine,” she said. “I might be an idiot when it comes to men, but I’m fine, and you looking down your pointy, warty nose at me won’t change that.”

He touched the tip of his smeller. “Warty?”

 She wished. And it wasn’t pointy either. It was actually a very nice nose. Straight. Distinguished. With a small scar on the bridge that she’d noticed while he was in The Milked Duck earlier. “I was speaking metaphorically. And you know what else? When I do have relationships with men, I don’t simply eat them like candy. I take the time to get to know them. To savor them. To appreciate them. Because they’re human beings, and all human beings deserve respect.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed, and his gray eyes had gone dark. “Even the ones who go and steal all your money?” he said.

“They don’t steal. I give it to them. Because people are priceless. Money’s just paper.”

“Necessary paper.”

“I make do. You use having it as an excuse to be a man-whore.”

His eyes went darker and his cheek twitched. “For the record,” he said smoothly, “I was a man-whore before I made it big.”

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You can find the rest of the story in the Snowy Day, Steamy Nights anthology (with stories also from Katy Regnery, Jennie Marts, Kate Forest, Veronica Forand, and Susan Scott Shelley), available now!

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | iBooks

And now… WINNER WINNER!!

Congratulations to MrsMac19!! She’s won a copy of Tracy March‘s The Practice Proposal! (And I wish I could send a dairy-free chocolate pie to go with it!) MrsMac19, send me an email at jamie @ jamiefarrellbooks . com (no spaces), and I’ll get you set up with your prize!

Make sure y’all check out Tracy’s books too! They’re such great, light reads.

Tracy’s website | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | Google Play

And tune in tomorrow – more Munchkin Mondays, coming up!

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Feel Good Friday Giveaway with Tracy March!

Happy Friday, y’all!!

This week’s Feel Good Friday Romance Giveaway is Tracy March‘s The Practice Proposal. I just love Tracy’s contemporary romances. They’re light and fun but full of heart, and also pie. If you haven’t read The Practice Proposal, you have to just for the pie competition. Really. Because, well… pie. Right?

I’m also excited about Tracy’s new release! The Marriage Match hit shelves this week, and right now, it’s on sale for only $0.99. If you want an awesome read for the weekend, I hope you’ll snag it now.

Back to the giveaway! I’ll draw one random winner this weekend to get a copy of Tracy’s The Practice Proposal. To enter, just comment below and tell me your favorite kind of pie (or other dessert). Remember to check back this weekend to see if you’ve won! Or, to make it simple, just subscribe to my blog when you leave your comment!

Find out more about Tracy’s books at: Her website | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | Google Play

 

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Whack-a-Doo Wednesday!

Welcome to Wednesday, where this year, it’s tradition for me to embarrass myself by sharing bits of my dream diary. This week, we’re traveling back in time to the summer of 2012, when I was pregnant with Buttercup.

Last night I dreamed I was in a really bad space TV show where the ship didn’t have the proper equipment to grab the stars and the baby kept crawling into the milky way and a bunch of teenagers wrapped belts around their head in rebellion. But there were also bake sales, even though the race of people on the ship didn’t believe in sugar.

I would like to blame pregnancy for this one.

 

Dreamed last night the movers showed up and were investigating our belongings, but I couldn’t find my pants. Or my swimsuit. Even though I knew it was on my dresser. We did have about eighteen beach towels though. No idea where this one came from. We aren’t moving for about a year.

And this one too.

 

Last night I dreamed I needed to get a job so my friend Macarena (she had red hair) invited me to check out her employer, Em’s News. Em didn’t have any openings, but she gave us a tour of her haunted house. I saw ghosts (but I could also see the projectors creating them), and then we went into the jungle room which was kind of like a study set up in Tarzan’s jungle, if Tarzan had been part of Pirates of the Caribbean. Lots of antique furniture, and if you stepped off the edge of the room, you could climb onto a water wheel where Jack Sparrow and Will were running like hamsters. Also, if you stood on the wheel, when they ran it would launch you across the room. Then I got offered a job as Em’s cook, and I signed up to be the only girl playing basketball with a bunch of high school jocks and rap stars. They didn’t want to let a girl play, but one of them got a crush on me and so they let me.

Nope, this one’s totally normal. But I was definitely tired that day.

 

Don’t remember much about my dream last night except for the part where I was on the mortician’s table and suddenly realized he wanted to eat me. My two friends ran away, and I kept trying to yell, “You can’t eat me! I’m not dead enough!” SuperHubby saying, “Whumph?” woke me up. Kinda suspect I might have really said it out loud.

Maybe this one had to do with knowing I’d be having a C-section?

 

My dream last night was basically a variety show about having a yard sale. Complete with singing and dancing. And Neil Patrick Harris.

Huh… didn’t I mention a yard sale last week in the Brad Pitt edition too?

 

Last night I dreamed I invented marshmallow casserole. To make it, butter an 8×10 baking dish, fill with large marshmallows, sprinkle chocolate chips, then bake at 350 until everything gets nice and gooey and melty. Eat on graham crackers, ice cream, or just with a spoon.

Okay, yes. This one was totally a pregnancy dream. No denying it.

And that’s it for this week’s dreams! Happy Wednesday, y’all!

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Munchkin Monday!

Munchkin Monday is back! This week, we’re revisiting the days when Muchkin was about three and a half. Hope you enjoy!

 

Last night the Munchkin dreamed he was flying over our house in a bouncy house with three Lucky Bears. All I dreamed about was school.

The dreams are strong in this one too.

 

 

Munchkin just walked in, wearing only his overnight diaper, and said, “Mama, you need to check the poo. Is it still there?” Took me a minute to realize he thought the diaper with Pooh on it worked the same as his pull-ups with the designs that disappear when they get wet.

And we are about to move into this phase with Squeaker.

 

Munchkin:”I think I want to name my puppy Crotchie.”

Me (while thinking, what puppy?):”Crotchie? Who taught you that name?”

Munchkin:”Um, I think Grandma just wrote it to me in a note.”

Such talent in throwing someone under the bus, and at such a young age too…

 

 

Today, I pulled a baby washcloth out of my shorts, and Munchkin sat at lunch hoisting his pointer finger in the air and shrieking, “Crisco!” He claims his teacher taught him that. We’re slightly concerned.

Thankfully, that one was short-lived.

 

 

Poor Munchkin. He listened in on a conversation with the neighbor about men listening to their wives about directions, then was informed, “Munchkin, when you grow up and get married, always listen to your wife. She’ll always be right.” (Train ‘em young, right?) Fast forward to bedtime… “Daddy, you have to drink your beer when your wife tells you to.”

SuperHubby had no objections to this line of thinking.

Wishing you all a lovely week!

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Sunday Snippet and a Winner!!

Happy Sunday, y’all!! We have a winner in Friday’s giveaway of Tracy Solheim‘s Back To Before, and this weekend, I’m sharing a little teaser from Mr. Good Enough. Have you met Maddie and Trent yet?

From Mr. Good Enough:

“I don’t understand you.” Maddie’s words were muffled in Trent’s shirt, but she had the fabric in a death grip as if she were afraid she’d sink down to the pits of hell if she let go. “How can you make my world so much better and not want to share that with all humankind?

She pulled back, then grabbed his face, alternately glaring at him and gazing at him with utter adoration. “You’re strong and healthy and beautiful. You save lives, you pay attention to what makes people happy, you fix what’s broken. You make mistakes, but then you make up for making them. How can you possibly think your genes are broken? Why can’t you understand how amazing your children would be if they had good parents, after all that you’ve done despite having bad parents?”

He stepped away. Knowing her, loving her, it wasn’t enough. He’d never be everything she wanted him to be.

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Aww, these two… They make me have all the warm squishy feels.

You can get Mr. Good Enough at: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | iBooks | Google Play | Kobo

And… WINNER WINNER!!

I loved all your feel-good foods. And I love that it was such a wide range!! I totally would’ve gone for chocolate, though bacon is a very close second. But enough of that!

Congrats to Dawn! She wins a copy of Tracy’s Back To Before! Dawn, send me a message on Facebook or drop me a line at jamie @ jamiefarrellbooks . com (no spaces) and I’ll get you hooked up with your prize.

I hope the rest of you will check out Tracy’s books! You can find more information on her website, Facebook,or Goodreads page, or at  Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, or Google Play.

Stay tuned, y’all! More Munchkin fun coming tomorrow, and another Feel Good Friday giveaway coming later this week too!

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Feel Good Friday Giveaway with Tracy Solheim!

Welcome to Feel Good Friday, my weekly giveaway of a happy, feel-good contemporary romance from my favorite authors!

For this week’s Feel Good Friday Giveaway, I’m celebrating my friend Tracy Solheim‘s new release, Back to Before, the first book in her new Second Chances series!

If you haven’t read Tracy before, you’re in for a treat! Her books are full of both emotion and humor, with fantastic characters and marvelous chemistry. Want to give her a try? Just leave a comment below and tell me your favorite comfort food.

Want to know more about Tracy? You can find her on her website, Facebook, and Goodreads! And be sure to check out her books on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, or Google Play.

Make sure to stop back later this weekend to see if you’ve won!

 

 

 

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