d. ellis phelps's Blog, page 6

Fawn Season: leave that fawn alone!

It’s so hard to do: leave the fawn where it lies when you find it. Here’s my story about the success of doing just that:

June 11, 2024

The family has come and gone. Echoes of their being still cling to the walls-laughter, shrill screams, and animated conversations hover over the pool, on the deck, through the thick blades of St. Augustine. We have been together for two full days of merriment and my heart is full.

me and my four g-babes in our backyard pool

I have come to my usual full stop after so much togetherness. I need space and time to allow all this good to soak into the sum of my experience. What joy!

Sitting in my backyard swing, I drink in the stillness, munch on raw walnuts, apples, and dried cranberries, sip cold iced water, and observe: this is my happy place. Voluminous, white rounds of cloud climb the sky. Perhaps there will be rain. Cicadas drone. The cardinal sings. Roo, my Chihuahua, has found something interesting under the iron plants nearby. She is focused and on point.

The day before the family arrived, a fawn appeared in our front garden. I think it was newborn or maybe a day or two old, but that was the first time I’d seen it. I have just seen it again, four days later. This time, it is hunkered under the cantaloupe vines growing in my raised garden bed (pictured above). It looks well but I don’t see its doe. So, I have opened the front gate and left it ajar, hoping the doe will come in at dusk to feed its fawn. This is what I have read is the best thing to do unless a fawn is obviously hurt (bleeding, bleating, etc).

Just now, the doe arrives, moving ever so stealthily, silently, and slowly across the yard. At first, I barely see her and probably would not have seen her but for the fawn’s movement. It rose. Moved in her direction. That’s when I noticed her. I am elated! Even though I cannot see them now, as they are hidden behind the tall tangle of cantaloupe and cucumber vines in my garden, I know the fawn is feeding and I am delighted!

After a few minutes, I see the doe moving through the vines. She jumps over the rock wall and saunters toward the gate. The fawn follows her into the thick bushes of four-o-clocks and Nandinas. I cannot see them now so I watch the clearing just ahead to see if they will cross there, going toward the front gate I have left ajar.

I secure Roo inside the house so she will not be a bother and resume my position on the swing, watching the clearing. Ah! Now the fawn is nearer, under the Elm, but I do not see the doe. Could she have snuck by me? It is certainly possible, as I might not even know she is here unless I had seen the fawn stand and move toward her earlier.

There! There they are together, standing by the side gate. Darn! I didn’t open that gate. That is one way the doe knows she can sometimes get into the yard. I am very quiet and still, but she senses me and looks in my direction, registers my presence, takes a few steps toward me then bolts! The fawn follows.

Doe and fawn make a run for the front gate!

Hooray! I hope they have run out of the front gate and into the field next door but I cannot see from where I sit whether or not that has happened. A few minutes pass.

Nope! Here is the fawn again, looking lost, looking around for the doe which I imagine did run out of the gate. Is this the same fawn or were there two? I run to open the side gate so if they make a pass by again, they can get out that way. The fawn wanders toward the back corner of the yard and settles itself next to the wood pile, resigned to wait for its doe again.

It is late and I am going inside. I am hopeful that when I am inside, the doe will return.

July 12, 2024

Last night at dusk, I closed all the gates since I had seen neither doe nor fawn in hours. I thought they had left the property. But, when I came out to have my coffee in the swing this morning, Roo tagging along as usual, I have just gotten settled when Roo lets out a little yelp from behind the deck. After a minute or two, I go to check on her. There is doe, standing only a few yards from me, Roo, circling and charging her.

The Doe stomps and lunges at Roo. My heart rate quickens. Doe can be quite aggressive when they have a fawn nearby. I had checked all around the back fence line and the woodpile when I came out and hadn’t found the fawn, but the doe’s presence and her stomping and snorting let me know the fawn is definitely near.

I call Roo. She doesn’t come. I go closer, thinking I can pick her up, but my approach only makes her want to get between me and the doe. So, I change my tactic, (this is something you’ll learn to do if you ever have a Chihuahua!). I command, “Let’s go, Roo!” I start for the house. It works. She follows me and I swoop her up and take her with me to the swing. The doe stands her ground, not moving.

The neighbor’s dog, Reese, comes to the fence to see what the ruckus is all about. Thankfully, she doesn’t bark, but when the doe sees her, the doe moves toward the fence and the dog. When Reese sees the doe, she retreats without barking or running the fence. Thank Goodness! There could have been a real brawl.

Once the doe decides all is quiet, she moves back into a nearby clearing and takes her feeding stance. The fawn that has been completely hidden comes running to her and begins nursing. What a joyful sight!

The gates have been closed so I know the doe has jumped in over the fence to get to her fawn, or she has been inside the fence all night, but with the gates closed, the fawn cannot get out. So, when the fawn finishes feeding, and the doe starts moving through the brush and toward the gate with her fawn wobbling behind her, I run to open the side gate.

I really do want the doe to take her fawn out of our fenced property and into the open field next door. The worry about whether they are together is too much. I know that if they are in the field, the doe can easily hide her fawn, leave it to feed herself, and come back to where she left it.

I sit, holding my breath, watching the clearing, hoping, finally, the doe will lead her fawn out of the gate. It is only a minute or two and I see the doe, head down, skulking low out of the gate. I wait, craning my neck to see. And yes! There goes the fawn, out of the gate and with its doe. Hallelujah!

I know they are as safe as they can be for now in their natural habitat, and I am relieved and overjoyed!

Namaste Y’all!

d

The Ancient Book of Magic Secrets, Rohn Bayes

I love this book:

I read it in a few sittings. It is one I will read and to which I will refer again and again. So, I offered the author the opportunity to answer a few interview questions from me and to do a reading from the book for us. He said YES! Those gems are below, but first, here is my Goodreads review of The Ancient Book of Magic Secrets: An exploration into being human:

Writing part philosophy, part theology, part evolutionary theory, part art history, part novella, part history of the earth, part anthropology, part spirituality (especially Native Peoples), the author goes to great lengths to ask his central questions: Why are we here? What is the order of the cosmos?

In speaking of the ancient “White Shaman” cave painting on the “canyon wall of the lower Pecos River near its confluence with the Rio Grande in deep West Texas” he muses:

“And if, as the story goes, the people gathered there to dance with the drums and the ancestors who were painted on the wall and to listen to the story and the chanting, then no doubt, those people were moved to remember who they were and how they came to live in this place and what they might be able to do next if they all came together and focused on a plan and stayed in harmony with the stars and with the earth and with the flower road.”

This is the point the author makes throughout this book, thick with facts. The bibliography is six pages long, and in itself, contains at least a year’s stack of worthy reading.

I really fell in love with the author’s style while reading this line on page 114: “But then there’s entropy. What a buzz kill.” I laughed out loud, as I did many times. This, following pages of evolutionary thought, the case he makes for universal symbiosis, and such posits as “Maybe the universe came into being with a shriek of joy….”

If thought-provoking is the author’s intent, he’s done that. If synthesizing some of human’s most complex subjects into digestible snippets is the goal, he’s done that. If creating a believable, lovable, quirky character with a conflicted personality is the goal, he’s done that. He’s even managed to successfully combine fact and fiction–a love story, even–one that resonates with all who have loved. But most of all, the author has called his readers to consider his questions and perhaps, to dance together, focus on a plan, and stay close to the flower road.

~d. ellis phelps

A Reading by the AuthorAn Interview with the Author

D: There are six pages of bibliography in your book.  Have you read all those books?  Do they represent your leisure reading list or did you read them in preparation for writing The Ancient Book of Magic Secrets?

Rohn: I have read all those books, some I skimmed more than others.  I still have them in a special place in my library.  They were my companions on this journey.  Every subject that I chose to write about had its own way of telling its story.  Those books were my guides and my mentors. 

D: You say the writing of The Ancient Book of Magic Secrets was an assignment you gave yourself.  Can you say more about why you took on this project, how long ago you knew you wanted to make it happen, and how long it took you to write it?

Rohn: It took 6 years to write the book and another 2 years muddling about with editing and trying to find a publisher.  I wrote it because I had to say something and because I had to heal something.  It wasn’t an assignment, it was a quest, a hero’s journey, a challenge that I needed in my life.  Writing the book was only one part of the quest, getting it published was another.  Finding its audience was (is) the third part.  I took it on because I had to do something big and heroic and almost impossible.  I was desperate for that. 

D: In the book, you point repeatedly to how civilization might change if we all “stayed close to the flower road.”  Can you say more about what you mean by that and how you see that change happening?  I mean, do you really see it as a possibility?

Rohn: My main aim and purpose for the book was to somehow elicit a feeling of gratitude in the reader.  We really are quite a species and we should be proud of who we are.  We should celebrate it.  We should notice it.  Gratitude is one of those beautiful feelings that can also dissolve greed and anger.  If we practiced feeling gratitude more than we practiced doing stupid stuff then I’m pretty sure we would see a fundamental change in human society.  What is the potential?  The potential is to create heaven on earth for all.  Let’s take it on humans.  Let’s take the challenge because it means something very personal for each person.

D:  I happen to know that some of your ancestors were ministers ordained by traditional religious institutions. Do you see your writing as a kind of ministry? Do you think of yourself as a spiritual person?  Describe your personal theology. 

Rohn: I grew up in the church where my father was the minister so, yeah, it affected me from a young age but at around twenty, I went through a massive transformation and left church, Christianity, religion, and even spirituality behind.  I figured if there was truth (and there must be otherwise – hey what the heck) then it had to be accessible, it had to be available.  It had to somehow be a real experience.  “Truth is the consciousness of bliss” came in at that point.  I was very into experiencing truth not just talking about it.  It was a brand new phase for me and exhilarating.  I had never experienced anything like that before.  Yeah, my quest became to find truth, or as don Juan put it in the Carlos Castaneda books that were popular at the time, a separate reality.  I didn’t know what that was of course and the LSD I took at the time showed me very clearly how much I didn’t know.  So, I don’t really have a theology or a spirituality I just want to experience truth.  I practice for that.  I consider it a life skill.  

D:  You’ve created a quirky character who rides a bicycle everywhere he goes.  Is the character autobiographical?  How close are his experiences to those of your own?  

Rohn: Very close.  I don’t know how to write fiction.  Actually, I modeled Han after several people I’ve known but mostly me, it’s true.  I really do ride my bike everywhere and have great adventures.  And I do often think of myself as some kind of Comanche horseman out on a quest or hunting astride my swift steed. 

D: How do you spend your time?  Do you have a formal writing practice?  Describe yourself in your surroundings.  Where do you live? What does a typical day look like for you?

Rohn: I’m fortunate to have a house with running water, electric lights, and a roof.  Not only that, there are other houses around with other people.  There are cafes and streets and telecommunication networks.  It’s almost like a highly civilized habitat.  That suits me fine even though I’m not very civilized, it just makes things more convenient.  I can pass for a normal city dweller most days, I’ve practiced it for years.  I don’t have a formal writing practice but every day I try to train my brain to see like a writer and listen like a writer and think like a writer.  The muse can’t be caught or confined, she only sings when she’s free.  Yeah, so almost every morning the neighbors and the local gas station guys and all the commuters along my route towards downtown San Antonio get to see this bike rider riding swiftly along (as swiftly as possible) making his way among the streets and sidewalks of his great city.  I hear reports of sightings all over town from the guys in the bike shop.  Part of my summer ritual is to dive into the fish pond in my backyard when I get back from the bike ride all hot and sweaty.  That is a treat.  The baptismal experience. 

D:  Tell us about your writing on Substack.  How is that going for you? What are your favorite subjects to explore and write about? 

Rohn: My Substack newsletter the rohn report is going great.  I publish a new edition every week, usually on Thursday morning, and can’t help but feel the connection there with my father writing his weekly sermons for the Sunday morning congregation.  It’s a rhythm.  I actually like having a deadline even though I don’t use that word.  I hate that word.  But it’s self-imposed so it’s ok; it’s a rhythm and what I write about and how I write is a rhythm too.  It all comes together, including these days a podcast feature, in some magical way.  I’m in awe of it and feel very blessed and highly entertained.  I only have to apply a little bit of intention and the magic happens.  It’s true.

D:  Recently, you mentioned a Hindu saying: truth, consciousness, and bliss. Tell us what this means to you.  

Rohn: Back in the seventies when I was introduced to my mentor it was a common phrase amongst folks and used as a greeting (Jai Sat Chit Anand in Hindi).  Truth is the consciousness of bliss, bliss is the consciousness of truth, and consciousness is the truth of bliss – you get the point.  I have never lost my admiration and respect for that saying.  It’s beautiful, so simple and . . . so true.  Ha!

D: Do you think you’ll write another book? 

Rohn: I don’t have an ambition to write another book.  This is my book.  This is what I got.  This is what I can do.

D: What are your highest hopes for The Ancient Book of Magic Secrets?

Rohn: I want people to read it, like any author, and recommend it to their book club.  I want to be invited to present it at conferences, in classrooms, and at book festivals.  I want it to be recognized and respected.  I want it to change people’s lives.

D: What are your highest hopes for Rohn Bayes?

Rohn: My highest hopes for Rohn Bayes are to keep taking on the challenge of being Rohn Bayes.  Hey, no one else is going to do it and if you don’t step up and do it there will never be and will never have been a Rohn Bayes in the universe.  So, it’s a solemn responsibility.  What are the possibilities for Rohn Bayes?  Well, he could try removing all expectations from his mind and live in the moment, free and clear.  That would be cool and even if he doesn’t attain such a lofty goal I think he probably will have enjoyed his life much more for trying.

Namaste y’all!

d

The Ancient Book of Magic Secrets, Rohn Bayes

I love this book:

I read it in a few sittings. It is one I will read and to which I will refer again and again. So, I offered the author the opportunity to answer a few interview questions from me and to do a reading from the book for us. He said YES! Those gems are below, but first, here is my Goodreads review of The Ancient Book of Magic Secrets: An exploration into being human:

Writing part philosophy, part theology, part evolutionary theory, part art history, part novella, part history of the earth, part anthropology, part spirituality (especially Native Peoples), the author goes to great lengths to ask his central questions: Why are we here? What is the order of the cosmos?

In speaking of the ancient “White Shaman” cave painting on the “canyon wall of the lower Pecos River near its confluence with the Rio Grande in deep West Texas” he muses:

“And if, as the story goes, the people gathered there to dance with the drums and the ancestors who were painted on the wall and to listen to the story and the chanting, then no doubt, those people were moved to remember who they were and how they came to live in this place and what they might be able to do next if they all came together and focused on a plan and stayed in harmony with the stars and with the earth and with the flower road.”

This is the point the author makes throughout this book, thick with facts. The bibliography is six pages long, and in itself, contains at least a year’s stack of worthy reading.

I really fell in love with the author’s style while reading this line on page 114: “But then there’s entropy. What a buzz kill.” I laughed out loud, as I did many times. This, following pages of evolutionary thought, the case he makes for universal symbiosis, and such posits as “Maybe the universe came into being with a shriek of joy….”

If thought-provoking is the author’s intent, he’s done that. If synthesizing some of human’s most complex subjects into digestible snippets is the goal, he’s done that. If creating a believable, lovable, quirky character with a conflicted personality is the goal, he’s done that. He’s even managed to successfully combine fact and fiction–a love story, even–one that resonates with all who have loved. But most of all, the author has called his readers to consider his questions and perhaps, to dance together, focus on a plan, and stay close to the flower road.

~d. ellis phelps

A Reading by the AuthorUpdated video coming soonAn Interview with the Author

D: There are six pages of bibliography in your book.  Have you read all those books?  Do they represent your leisure reading list or did you read them in preparation for writing The Ancient Book of Magic Secrets?

Rohn: I have read all those books, some I skimmed more than others.  I still have them in a special place in my library.  They were my companions on this journey.  Every subject that I chose to write about had its own way of telling its story.  Those books were my guides and my mentors. 

D: You say the writing of The Ancient Book of Magic Secrets was an assignment you gave yourself.  Can you say more about why you took on this project, how long ago you knew you wanted to make it happen, and how long it took you to write it?

Rohn: It took 6 years to write the book and another 2 years muddling about with editing and trying to find a publisher.  I wrote it because I had to say something and because I had to heal something.  It wasn’t an assignment, it was a quest, a hero’s journey, a challenge that I needed in my life.  Writing the book was only one part of the quest, getting it published was another.  Finding its audience was (is) the third part.  I took it on because I had to do something big and heroic and almost impossible.  I was desperate for that. 

D: In the book, you point repeatedly to how civilization might change if we all “stayed close to the flower road.”  Can you say more about what you mean by that and how you see that change happening?  I mean, do you really see it as a possibility?

Rohn: My main aim and purpose for the book was to somehow elicit a feeling of gratitude in the reader.  We really are quite a species and we should be proud of who we are.  We should celebrate it.  We should notice it.  Gratitude is one of those beautiful feelings that can also dissolve greed and anger.  If we practiced feeling gratitude more than we practiced doing stupid stuff then I’m pretty sure we would see a fundamental change in human society.  What is the potential?  The potential is to create heaven on earth for all.  Let’s take it on humans.  Let’s take the challenge because it means something very personal for each person.

D:  I happen to know that some of your ancestors were ministers ordained by traditional religious institutions. Do you see your writing as a kind of ministry? Do you think of yourself as a spiritual person?  Describe your personal theology. 

Rohn: I grew up in the church where my father was the minister so, yeah, it affected me from a young age but at around twenty, I went through a massive transformation and left church, Christianity, religion, and even spirituality behind.  I figured if there was truth (and there must be otherwise – hey what the heck) then it had to be accessible, it had to be available.  It had to somehow be a real experience.  “Truth is the consciousness of bliss” came in at that point.  I was very into experiencing truth not just talking about it.  It was a brand new phase for me and exhilarating.  I had never experienced anything like that before.  Yeah, my quest became to find truth, or as don Juan put it in the Carlos Castaneda books that were popular at the time, a separate reality.  I didn’t know what that was of course and the LSD I took at the time showed me very clearly how much I didn’t know.  So, I don’t really have a theology or a spirituality I just want to experience truth.  I practice for that.  I consider it a life skill.  

D:  You’ve created a quirky character who rides a bicycle everywhere he goes.  Is the character autobiographical?  How close are his experiences to those of your own?  

Rohn: Very close.  I don’t know how to write fiction.  Actually, I modeled Han after several people I’ve known but mostly me, it’s true.  I really do ride my bike everywhere and have great adventures.  And I do often think of myself as some kind of Comanche horseman out on a quest or hunting astride my swift steed. 

D: How do you spend your time?  Do you have a formal writing practice?  Describe yourself in your surroundings.  Where do you live? What does a typical day look like for you?

Rohn: I’m fortunate to have a house with running water, electric lights, and a roof.  Not only that, there are other houses around with other people.  There are cafes and streets and telecommunication networks.  It’s almost like a highly civilized habitat.  That suits me fine even though I’m not very civilized, it just makes things more convenient.  I can pass for a normal city dweller most days, I’ve practiced it for years.  I don’t have a formal writing practice but every day I try to train my brain to see like a writer and listen like a writer and think like a writer.  The muse can’t be caught or confined, she only sings when she’s free.  Yeah, so almost every morning the neighbors and the local gas station guys and all the commuters along my route towards downtown San Antonio get to see this bike rider riding swiftly along (as swiftly as possible) making his way among the streets and sidewalks of his great city.  I hear reports of sightings all over town from the guys in the bike shop.  Part of my summer ritual is to dive into the fish pond in my backyard when I get back from the bike ride all hot and sweaty.  That is a treat.  The baptismal experience. 

D:  Tell us about your writing on Substack.  How is that going for you? What are your favorite subjects to explore and write about? 

Rohn: My Substack newsletter the rohn report is going great.  I publish a new edition every week, usually on Thursday morning, and can’t help but feel the connection there with my father writing his weekly sermons for the Sunday morning congregation.  It’s a rhythm.  I actually like having a deadline even though I don’t use that word.  I hate that word.  But it’s self-imposed so it’s ok; it’s a rhythm and what I write about and how I write is a rhythm too.  It all comes together, including these days a podcast feature, in some magical way.  I’m in awe of it and feel very blessed and highly entertained.  I only have to apply a little bit of intention and the magic happens.  It’s true.

D:  Recently, you mentioned a Hindu saying: truth, consciousness, and bliss. Tell us what this means to you.  

Rohn: Back in the seventies when I was introduced to my mentor it was a common phrase amongst folks and used as a greeting (Jai Sat Chit Anand in Hindi).  Truth is the consciousness of bliss, bliss is the consciousness of truth, and consciousness is the truth of bliss – you get the point.  I have never lost my admiration and respect for that saying.  It’s beautiful, so simple and . . . so true.  Ha!

D: Do you think you’ll write another book? 

Rohn: I don’t have an ambition to write another book.  This is my book.  This is what I got.  This is what I can do.

D: What are your highest hopes for The Ancient Book of Magic Secrets?

Rohn: I want people to read it, like any author, and recommend it to their book club.  I want to be invited to present it at conferences, in classrooms, and at book festivals.  I want it to be recognized and respected.  I want it to change people’s lives.

D: What are your highest hopes for Rohn Bayes?

Rohn: My highest hopes for Rohn Bayes are to keep taking on the challenge of being Rohn Bayes.  Hey, no one else is going to do it and if you don’t step up and do it there will never be and will never have been a Rohn Bayes in the universe.  So, it’s a solemn responsibility.  What are the possibilities for Rohn Bayes?  Well, he could try removing all expectations from his mind and live in the moment, free and clear.  That would be cool and even if he doesn’t attain such a lofty goal I think he probably will have enjoyed his life much more for trying.

Namaste y’all!

d

Straight Into Me, lyrics & melody, (c) d. ellis phelps

photo credit: Jefferson Santos via unsplash dot com

Introducing me the songwriter!

If you like it, show me some love and give the song a “heart” like in SoundCloud and share from SoundCloud!

More later!

Namaste Y’all!

remains of the day, d. ellis phelps

photo courtesy of Barry Weatherall via unsplash.com

remains of the day

d. ellis phelps

Seven thousand Baby Boomers born between 1946 and 1964 are dying every day.
—The Baptist Standard, May 21, 2024

when the show is over
and the curtain is down

there is a long round of applause
and then nothing

the ushers sweep up
the remains of the day

the crew disassembles the set
relegates this and that

to the prop room costumes
—cleaned and hung

characters: left uninhabited
—wander the wings

running lines
pacing

waiting for the next troupe to arrive

hoping someone will recall
the stunning performance

maybe that young woman on the third row
left-center: she will remember

later she’ll say:

once i saw a play
it changed me

(c) d. ellis phelps

“I Am Not a Good Mother” by Eileen Lawrence

Eileen Lawrence reading her original poem. Photo by Liana Mikah via unsplash.

I loved hearing Ms Lawrence read her poem at a Book Woman open mic in Austin this week. It is chillingly spot on and I am delighted she agreed to share the work here on fws. It is with sincere gratitude for mothers that I dedicate this piece to all mothers everywhere who are “trying harder,” especially my two daughters and my daughter-in-law. You rock!

d.ellis Phelps

I Am Not a Good Mother

Eileen Lawrence

A good mother makes sure her children eat three nutritious meals a day—well, more specifically, your children should take at least one bite, but finish everything on their plate, but don’t fat shame or skinny shame or reward your children with food. A good mother provides appropriate clothing for her children, but not brand name or they’ll get snobby, but not second-hand or your children will get laughed at and become a pariah. A good mother makes sure her children are dressed for the weather or they’ll get sick, or sweat, or be uncomfortable. A good mother has rules and is consistent, even when she’s tired or sick or having a bad day or has a work deadline or another child needs her, it doesn’t matter—consistency is the most important. A good mother never gets angry, but if you do get angry, apologize, but if you don’t get angry your child won’t understand that you are human and that their actions have consequences, so do get angry by all means. A good mother never cries in front of her children because that will scare them so badly they’ll immediately need therapy but if you don’t cry in front of your children they will think crying is only for the weak. A good mother pushes her children to excel and practice sports and music and math facts and read for at least 20 minutes every day and if your children don’t do all of those things every day they will fail at life and be homeless or live with you forever and not be able to hold a job see you’ve already screwed them up because they’ve been on their screens for hours. Screens are fine, in moderation, but no more than two minutes once a year or else your children will be addicts and you’ve given them ADHD and if your kids have ADHD you should definitely give them medication so they can do well in school and not lose confidence but if you do give them medication you’re just trying to throw chemicals at the problem and what your child really needs is fresh air and sunshine and meditation and if you hadn’t kept drinking coffee while you were pregnant this wouldn’t even be an issue and now it’s too late. It’s too late anyway; your kids are already messed up because you haven’t pushed them to get good grades because you didn’t want to give them anxiety or make them feel like they would never be good enough and so you were too lax and now they’ll never get into Harvard or even community college and what were you thinking why did you even have children you can barely take care of yourself. But, at the very least, a good mother raises thoughtful, responsible, kind children, that’s the most important thing, but we can’t tell you how to do that we can just tell you all of the things you definitely shouldn’t do ever so just do your best and read these 25 parenting books, listen to these 13 podcasts, and remember everything and apply it perfectly and you must make time for all of this and your children and also have a career and be successful because you are The Example for your children and if you don’t make time for all of these things, well, obviously, you just don’t care enough, so try harder because you can’t go back in time and do better, it's never too late; but it’s already too late. Eileen Lawrence (she/her) is a lawyer and poet who lives in central Texas with her husband, her two children, and her two cats. Her poetry has been published by Dos Gatos Press, Mutabilis Press, Visions International, and the Fargo Public Library.

Welcome to fws, Eileen!

A New Era of Good in Just One Hour

Photo by Mark Harpur on Unsplash

If you are like me, you are wondering and wanting. Wanting to “do something” for Good. For the good of humanity. Something that matters. Something sustainable and immediate. Something that will move the hearts of human beings and feed our aching souls. Maybe you think contributing to a certain political campaign will help. Maybe you think giving to organizations that are working for climate or social justice will help. Maybe you think ranting on social media or marching will help.

I think some of those things help. But here…Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931), a Lebanese mystic and poet, tells us what one hour spent in the “pursuit of Beauty/And Love” is worth.

What if the poet’s musings are true? Could it be this simple? Bearing in mind that the poet’s capitalization of both Beauty and Love indicates the quality of The Divine, could one hour spent by the collective each of us every day Light up the world and completely dispel darkness?

Tell me. What is an hour worth to you? Will you pursue Beauty and Love with me? Will it be hiking in a forest, digging your feet into the sand, staring at the ocean’s grandeur, sitting in stillness, holding your cat, singing, or dancing?

How will you spend one hour to usher in a “new era of good?” Tell me.

The playground Of Life (excerpts)Kahlil Gibran

One hour devoted to the pursuit of Beauty
And Love is worth a full century of glory
Given by the frightened weak to the strong.

From that hour comes man’s Truth;...
In that hour the soul sees for herself
The Natural Law...
That hour was the inspiration of the Songs Of Solomon,...
That hour was the birth of the Sermon on the Mount...
That hour was the Hegira of Mohammed...
One hour devoted to mourning and lamenting the
Stolen equality of the weak is nobler than a
Century filled with greed and usurpation.

It is that hour when the heart is
Purified by the flaming sorrow, and
Illuminated by the torch of Love....
That hour is the root which must flourish.
That hour is the hour of contemplation,
The hour of meditation, the hour of
Prayer, and the hour of a new era of good.

The Snail Tapper by Charles Darnell

Photo by Krzysztof Niewolny on UnsplashThe Snail Tapper

Charles Darnell

To walk the Leon Creek Trail
Is a muggy slog today.
The clouds press down,
Mist hangs in the air,
Sweat clings already
To the hair on my neck.
I think of life as more precious
Knowing my own is on the back end.
I do my best to avoid injury
To even the smallest of creatures,
Believing their lives as meaningful
As mine.
I find myself looking down
Where I place my feet
so not to crush the insects
Crawling across the trail.

It was just yesterday
I learned, even with the best
Intentions, to pick a snail off
The path while it makes its way
Across causes injury to its slimy foot.
The best technique to save them
From crushing is to first tap
Their shell.
The startle reflex causes the foot
To be drawn into protection.

I find myself pausing,
Tapping little white shells,
Watching these mundane creatures
Retreat into their mobile homes.
I pick them up, toss them off
The concrete, saving small lives,
Maybe mine too.

Charles Darnell is a poet living in San Antonio, Texas. He is a member of the Maverick Poetry Group. His work has appeared in many literary journals, magazines, and anthologies, including most recently, The Ocotillo Review, The Texas Poetry Calendar,  Equinox Journal, and The Waco Wordfest Anthology. His chapbook, Water, Tongues, Earth, and Blood was published by Finishing Line Press in 2018, and his full-length collection, Toward Human, was published by Kallisto Gaia Press in 2022.

eucharist of sky, d. ellis phelps

Photo by Joshua Torres on Unsplash

I wrote the first draft of this poem during a stint as a guest writer for Tupelo Press’s 30/30 project some years ago (March 2015? maybe?), a fundraiser for the press that features poets who write 30 poems in 30 days. Thanks to Kirsten Miles for choosing me to help with that project! It was a very productive time for me and I much appreciated the opportunity.

In April of 2016, I was awarded a writing residency with Tupelo Press and Massachusetts Museum of Modern Art where I met editor, Jeffrey Levine. I consulted with him during that residency on the manuscript that became my second collection, what she holds (MSSP, 2020). His words to me at our one-on-one meeting have sustained me beyond measure. He said, “You are a superb poet; as good as any I’ve ever received.”

Today, while I sat having an afternoon coffee on my back patio, I heard the lilting trill of Sandhill Cranes flying overhead in their familiar vee and headed north. What a thrill!

When this happens, and I always seem to hear them when they do this fly by, as my home is in their migrational path (how lucky is that?), I run outside, if I’m not already there, and whoop and holler a jubilant greeting!

The workshop I missed, the one I mention in this poem was one run by a Jungian-trained therapist and involved seriously intense breathwork that accesses emotional trauma and moves it out of the body-mind (in theory), a workshop I’d attended once already. This time, I chickened out.

Fast forward to 2023 and find this poem has landed in my fourth collection, of failure & faith, a collection of poems that speak to the beauty of the natural world, social and environmental justice, and deep sorrow over the ways of the world.

It seems fitting to share it with you today since the cranes made their visitation today and since early voting in the Texas Primaries started yesterday. Please vote.

& let me know what you think of the poem.

Namaste,

d

eucharist of skyMarch 12, 2016
Unprecedented severe cold &a foot of snow in Michocan, Mexico freezes one –and-a--half million Monarch butterflies.


if

i had attended
the workshop

i would
have missed

this:

visitation

of cranes

~

the way
they sing

this religion
of birds

eucharist
of sky

how this raven

black

harbinger

calls

~

these billowing
clouds are mouths

here
he earth
—fuschia skirt

whirling feet
bare &
pounding

there

—a potter
throwing clay:

wild

discontent

~

this is not
democracy

dictators
rage

monarchs
die

~

remove
these rulers

none of them

tell the

truth

(c) d. ellis phelps

standing up, d. ellis phelps

Cover of program for the National American Woman Suffrage Association procession, showing woman, in elaborate attire, with cape, blowing long horn, from which is draped a “votes for women” banner, on decorated horse, with U.S. Capitol in background.standing up
~for DP who says too many good people are silent

not a short member
of the ku klux klan
standing by the garbage can
alongside the road

but a black vacuum cleaner
with a cone shaped fabric hat

discarded

or perhaps it decided
not to suck up anymore

like some women i know
who pack their bags
—pretty panties in a wad—
take their kick-ass attitudes
& hit the road

not standing by

standing up

~

standing up
for each other
for themselves
for the ones who cannot

yet

stand alone

~

women we do not stand alone:
muslim jew black brown gay

immigrant
innocent

there is a line
a horizon of hope
for justice

a line that has been crossed

too many times

too many times the night stick
too many times the noose
too many times the fire
too many times the rule
the razor wires
the surgeon’s knife

too many times the cruel ruler:
love undercover
gods misunderstood

~

& always the curse and its lines:

in ’13 we stood in lines
processed the avenue for a say
to cure the curse that came with gender

in ’31 we stood in lines
our hands out for daily bread
to cure the curse that came from greed

in ‘63 we stood in lines
arm in arm we marched for freedom
to cure a curse that came with skin

in ’68 we stood in lines
& sat in crowds
to cure a curse called war

en masse we’ve occupied the streets
a million strong we’ve walked:
to claim our bodies
to name the crime

to cure the curse of hate and greed

~

you call a woman’s blood the curse
you call her knowing a witches way

you have veiled our faces
stolen our young

broken our bodies
and tried to own them

~

& now we say no more

you can keep your towers and your walls
your notions of supremacy and extremes

you can eat your dirty words

we are above all your derision

here is where we draw the line



(c) d. ellis phelps