Tyler Yoder's Blog, page 7

Post the Fortieth: Which Concerns Current Events

Gentle Reader, the Supreme court of the United States is currently contemplating a matter that many would consider the culmination of the Stonewall Riots. Personally, I disagree – I’m an orthodox Radical Queer* – but Marriage Equality may very soon be the law of the land. Which I support whole-heartedly!

Be that as it may;

I have very little respect for the law. The law has been used to justify all sorts of atrocity – it’s been used to restrict, repress and reduce people. There are still people alive who are considered sexual offenders, whose police records reflect that – for being convicted of the crime of sodomy – which hasn’t been a crime since 2003.  The law is frequently unjust, the law frequently changes; the law is unreliable. And when those whose duty is to enforce the law overstep their bounds – and they’re only people, you know, who are handed a lot of power over other people – when the law oversteps its bounds, people are bound to react.

I’m just going to leave this here.

The Stonewall Riots are the foundation of the LGBTQIA community, and we commemorate that birth in blood every June, with Pride. As was pointed out to me yesterday, it is hypocritical in the extreme for people in our community to be clutching their pearls and wagging their fingers over the events in Baltimore, in Ferguson, anywhere that huddled masses are yearning to breathe free – particularly a month or so before Pride.

Obviously, I can’t speak for the people who are involved in the Baltimore Uprising, or the various uprisings around the country that are a community’s reaction to continuing police violence. I just wanted to take a moment to point out that riots can be a force for change, that good can come out of them. The most we queers could ask for 45 years ago was for our existence not to be illegal – for our right to gather together in public – to be served a drink without the police smashing down the door†. Now we’re debating in the highest courts in the land whether the law will recognize long-established relationships. The police, the firebombs and thrown bricks are left out of it. We’ve come a long way, and that trail we’ve come down was blazed with violence‡. We need to reflect on that.

I can’t speak for those poor men and women who were savagely murdered by the police, and I can’t speak for the communities that rose up against the everyday brutality they face. We all have a duty to listen to what they’re saying, and why they’re saying it, and do anything we can to support them. Societal attitudes can change for the better through violence – the Marriage Equality movement is proof of that – and we need to do everything in our power to build a culture where we all feel safe.

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*I’ve always felt that doing something about the high rates of homeless queer youth should be more of a priority for the LGBTQIA community than the marriage situation. Or the high rates of depression and suicide amongst our people. Oh! There’s also the whole huge problem of addiction that’s rampant in our community. And we need to do more to support our Trans folk, who are too often ignored – and face blatant discrimination within the community. Just throwing a few things out there. But hey – Marriage Equality is good, too.

†I almost didn’t include the “having a drink” thing, but I think it’s important to mention the sip-ins that used to happen. Organized by the Mattachine Society, back in the days when it was illegal to serve a homosexual a drink, large groups of gay men would go to bars, order drinks together, and after they were all served publicly come out. Police were frequently called, and there was some violence there, too, even though the protests were perfectly peaceful.

‡For example, trans people in particular are attacked and murdered with a frequency that’s horrifying. The violence isn’t over; we’re all subject to attack for having the audacity to exist. Marriage equality seriously isn’t the end-game, it’s just a small victory.

Tagged: Baltimore Uprising, Marriage Equality, SCOTUS Marriage Equality Hearing, Stonewall Riots

Post The Twenty-Second: Which Contains A Surprise

2015, Gentle Reader, is the year in which the bulk of those in my most intimate circle turn Thirty. It’s a milestone, and it deserves to be made much of. My dear Mr. Darling was the first to turn, and – well, we decided to try to surprise him. Our Darling’s not an easy fella to get a jump on, but – well, you’ll see. Credit for the party photos goes to Miss Addams, a friend from the good old days, who we’re so glad was able to attend.

The Task:��Throw a Surprise Party

The Execution:��We spent months mulling over ways we might be able to surprise Darling. We’d already started making plans when we attending his housewarming at The Phag Pad; I let slip that something was in the works – well, I had to, Gentle Reader: he was planning a series of trips around the country, and since his last several birthdays have been just��dreadful, he didn’t want to even acknowledge the day, and planned on being out of town. I just��had to tell him, to make sure he was available at all, you know.

Ms. Capere and I got Mr. Lewis, Darling’s roommate, in on everything – we’re still getting to know him, but it was very interesting working with him on this project. Lewis knows Darling from a completely different part of his life than we do. Darling doesn’t often like to mix his worlds, but we’re all aware that we’ll all be around for years to come, so it’s time that we made friends. He’s the one who suggested the theme, since Darling had been obsessed with it:��Mesh.

Lewis, Capere, and I met a week or two before the actual party to solidify our plans, commiserate over things that just didn’t gel, and to work out last-minute details. I arranged for Darling’s whole family to take him out to dinner a few nights early (It was entirely Mrs. Darling’s decision to take him to the Space Needle to dine. She’s an absolute doll, and of course she was going to treat her son on such a big occasion – but I’m so glad she was able to shift her plans so that we could work together. You’re a treasure, Leigh. And you too, Bill.)

Treasures. Also, I’m sorry that the only photos I have of you that are readily available are from that vacation you took me on! Thanks again!

The day arrived – the Sunday before Darling’s actual birthday, since he’d specifically said that Sundays are best for him. Luckily, he’d forgotten that – he was expecting something on Wednesday. In fact, he had been passive-aggressively texting Capere about his “surprise birthday plans” because he was trying to plan around them that very day – he clearly knew nothing. ��We sat in the dark for an hour, playing party games, and Leigh texted me again – they were finally on their way – for real this time. God, it was gratifying when he walked through that door – he shrieked, he cursed, he was actually��shocked; the surprise was genuine.

And then it was time for cake, and singing that song that Darling hates – how does it go? Oh, yes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO – well, you get the idea.

The Verdict: Duh. Obviously. I love parties, I love themes, I love my friends, and I’ve known Mr. Darling for twenty-five years now. This was great, even if I got a little maudlin on the ride home (Sorry, Andrea!) and I wouldn’t hesitate to participate in an event that was so singularly focused on making a dear friend feel loved. This was a win all around.

Tagged: Darling and Capere, Entertaining, Fishnet, Mesh, Mr. C. W. L. Darling, Surprise Parties, The List, Thirtieth Birthdays, Throwing a Surprise Party

Post the Twenty-First: In Which I Am Vegan

Of all the List items I’ve checked off thus far, this one has been the most enlightening, Gentle Reader. I haven’t been able to keep up on this – poverty has a way of dictating what one can eat – but I definitely plan on incorporating some of what I’ve learned into my daily life.

The Task:��Go Vegan for 1 Week

The Execution: When I mentioned that I’d be trying this to my Auntie Trin, she told me that a week was far too short – if I wanted to experience the effects of veganism, or truly see any of the changes and benefits it brings, I’d have to give it at��least a month. So that was my plan – but I left my list requirements the same, just in case. I’d have to be strict for that first week, and everything after that was gravy.

Just *one* of the delicious things I’d be giving up.

With a bit of research and some advice from Ms. Spectacular (Former Vegan and secretly my Primary Medical Advisor) I was on my way to a strange adventure indeed.

The very first thing I learned was how concerned other people are with what you put into your body. Before I even started this experiment, I was being heckled. Sure, it was all in fun – but it got tiresome��very,��very, quickly; the same “jokes” from twenty people, fifty times a day – it gets old. Unbelievably old. People weren’t being malicious – I need to stress this, because by the time I actually changed my diet, I was losing my certainty – it Just. Never. Stops. What struck me as strange was that I wasn’t bringing up the changes to my diet – not unless I had to, in a “No, thanks – I can’t have that” sort of situation – it was always other people bringing up my choices. What’s worse, I’ve been that guy – I’ve done that to friends in the past. I’m really sorry, guys.

Fun Story: When I was 18, Capere and I were invited to a Vegan picnic and we didn’t know what to bring, so we just brought a sack of raw carrots.

My beloved Ms. Capere shared an essay she’d written,��Anxiety Came to Tea, exploring the ethics of eating, among other things. It illuminated a lot of issues that hadn’t even crossed my mind – cruelty, sustainability, food’s effects on the body – consuming the suffering of others. There are still many ideas that I’m still digesting, and in my current financial situation, unless I want to live strictly on lentils and rice – which are awful on their own after just two days, by the way* – it’s nearly impossible to eat without cruelty being involved.

All Day, *Every* Day

Physical changes happened��very quickly. I fit into a size 10 for the first time in��years. I was��constantly running to the restroom, and I found that if I didn’t eat��every four hours��I would get both extremely angry and extremely light-headed. That, actually, is why I ended up giving in – after three days on the road, I had neglected to bring enough snacks; I was on foot, walking to the bus for the next leg of my trip, and nearly fainted. The only available, affordable, option (apart from passing out in the street) was fast food. And that was that.

*He* had more integrity than *I* did, Gentle Reader.

The Verdict:��I absolutely want to use what I’ve learned in my daily habits. It’s important, for myriad health reasons alone, to be mindful of what we put into our bodies – and not enough people even consider��what they’re eating. I didn’t miss meat at all – and I hardly missed dairy; Ch��vre and caviar were the only things I missed at all, and I don’t have those that often, anyway.

I’ve definitely got a lot to chew over, but this was an excellent experience ��that I heartily recommend.

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* Lentils and Rice: When I was practicing being a hobo in preparation for the cancelled Europe Trip, I had it on good authority that Lentils and Rice contain all the nutrients you need to survive, and are so cheap as to be basically free, so I lived exclusively on them for at least a month. It was horrible.

Tagged: Experiments, Food and Diet, Going Vegan, Lifestyle Changes, Pros and Cons of Going Vegan, Trying New Things, Vegan, Veganism

Poetic Interlude XCVIII

Love’s Philosophy

By P. B. Shelley

Percy Bysshe Shelley, to be precise

The fountains mingle with the river

And the rivers with the ocean,

The winds of heaven mix for ever

With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single,

All things by a law divine

In one another’s being mingle-

Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high heaven,

And the waves clasp one another;

No sister-flower would be forgiven

If it disdain’d its brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth,

And the moonbeams kiss the sea-

What are all these kissings worth,

If thou kiss not me?

Tagged: Love's Philosophy, P. B. Shelley, Percy Bysshe Shelley, Poems of Love, Poetic Interludes, Poetry

Post the Twentieth: In Which I Am Hung

I’ve very recently taken up painting, Gentle Reader, and while I’m no Old Master, I find it soothing. When it was announced that the Tacomapocalypse show was returning,

I recklessly ambitiously decided I’d enter a piece, neatly fulfilling an item on my omnipresent List.

The Task:��Display a painting��of my own in a gallery or show.

The Execution:��The show’s theme this year was ’80’s Time-Travel With Zombies In.

��It didn’t really speak to me, as other themes in years past had, but I’d committed myself – the show is run by friends,��and I couldn’t let them down. All that came to mind was Back to the Future, and I knew for a fact that the Colonel had that covered. I wasn’t thrilled, but it was all I had, so I settled on a sufficiently dramatic scene – the one where lightning strikes City Hall.

For six weeks, I struggled with that painting. I’d start work on it, and the next day I’d cringe. The piece just wasn’t working – my concept was inherently flawed – I grew to hate it. My deadline loomed, and though I’d started over a dozen times already, I’d simply have to begin again. Finally, frustrated beyond belief, I threw that damned canvas across the room.

Fresh paint stuck to the carpet. I nearly bailed on the show, at that point – but then it hit me: Doctor Who existed in the ’80’s. Perfect! I aimed for a highly stylized scene involving the Fourth Doctor – the most easily recognizable Doctor of Classic Who.��I had two weeks left – but I actually��liked this piece. This one��went much more smoothly.

The night before I was to hand my piece over – and begin the arduous process of going back to school, I might add – I finished painting the Doctor’s iconic scarf. It was the last touch, that brought the whole thing together. I handed it off to the Colonel, and waited eagerly for the reception, to be held at Destiny City Comics.

After two years off, and in a smaller location*, there was a lot less art in this year’s Tacomapocalypse. Word hadn’t spread very far that it was back, and the opening event felt more subdued than usual. A lot of great people made it out, though, and I got to catch up with some old friends and local personalities, such as Adam the Alien��(who, I might add, took the photos you’re about to see of the actual event).

There was a coloring contest, for the children – the Colonel drew the originals; the four separate pages told a story about zombiehood, and friendship.

Here, you can see the members of Treefish pose with some of their work. Here’s Kendra (who you can find at Treefish Studio’s Facebook Page):

And here’s the Colonel (You can find him at SustainableStuart.com):

Finally – and I know you’ve been waiting for this, Gentle Reader – here I am, with my humble little piece:

And here’s a closer look at the piece itself,��Rays of Hope.��It’s nothing to write home about, but I’m happy with how it turned out.

The Verdict:��Would I do this again? Obviously. But I’d like to have pieces that were a little more finished, that I felt better about, be in the show. As ever, I found I had trouble working towards a theme – I’ve found that to be the case even when I’m working on my own and I’m the one to set the theme, as in my forthcoming book, #NoHetero. At any rate, on balance, this was a great experience.

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*The former venue, the Amocat Cafe, is now the Tacoma Brewing Company – while there was a transitional period where both coffee and beer were served there, the premises are now occupied by the brewery and aren’t open to the general public.

Special Thanks go out to Stuart M. Dempster for always encouraging my artistic endeavors, Kendra Breeden for putting together the show, Adam J. Manley for the photos and excellent conversation, Shaun D. Mattingly for helping me deal with Crazy Bus People, and Destiny City Comics for hosting.

Tagged: Adam the Alien, Art, Destiny City Comics, Eighties Time Travel Movies, For Love of Art, Painting, Sustainable Stuart, Tacoma, Tacomapocalypse IV, The List, Time-Travel, Treefish Studio, Tyler J. Yoder, Zombies

Post the Nineteenth: The Sunday Salons

For a few months, Gentle Reader, I held a weekly Salon in my humble abode. I’m living on the outskirts of civilization in a forest, and I don’t drive – I��just��had to get some social stimulation, somehow. I invited a diverse mix of guests – the best people I could think of. There were intellectuals, artists, writers, as many queers as I could muster – the most interesting and most charming individuals I could come up with were invited to my beloved home, Arvingdale.

Unfortunately – as I said, Arvingdale is rather remote – very few were willing to make the trek to my forest abode. The first week, we had only myself, Miss K., and the charming Mr. Maddox – who I’d invited on a whim, and hadn’t seen since high school. That first week, I was aquiver with anxiety – I was afraid no one else would show, as no one had R.S.V.P.’d, and I didn’t want Maddox to think I’d lured him to my home under false pretenses. Luckily, K showed, and we went on to solve all the world’s ills.

Over time, more and more guests started coming, and I was able to relax a little. Having guests each Sunday was the perfect motivation I needed to keep the house in order, and to decorate for holidays, and so on. It soon became the highlight of my week – and entertaining on a shoestring is my stock-in-trade. Besides, I’ve always found that I can live quite happily on leftover party-food – canapes and caviar, ch��vre and champagne.

The Colonel began coming, and Miss Nozawa was a regular as well. They brought with them various interesting guests each week, as well as hookahs, paintings and painting supplies, and so on. Multiple people would actually sit at my ancient upright piano and play – guitars and my trusty ukulele got brought out. Furthermore, I was finally able to arrange to purchase my favorite of the Colonel’s works, the rather enormous Cthulhy.

The Salons never grew as big as my beloved Mimosa Sundays, but they didn’t have the time to; I had to cut them off as the Holidays got into full swing, and I’m currently engaged in packing the remaining things at Arvingdale up as we prepare it for sale. Still, I highly recommend a weekly event at one’s home to get the creative juices flowing – ��to foster ties and deepen friendships and to have a forum in which to meet charming and interesting young people.��On balance, I wouldn’t call the Salons a failed experiment – it was just a matter of the wrong place and the wrong time. I look forward to trying to make this happen more substantially once I’ve established myself in a more secure location.

Tagged: Arts and Entertainment, Entertaining, Madame Delyte, Sybaratic Sunday Salons

Poetic Interlude XCVII

Oh, Think Not I Am Faithful To A Vow!

By Edna St. Vincent Millay

From A Few Figs From Thistles by Edna St. Vincent Millay

Oh, think not I am faithful to a vow!

Faithless am I am save to love’s self alone.

Were you not lovely I would leave you now;

After the feet of beauty fly my own.

Were you not still my hunger’s rarest food,

And water ever to my wildest thirst,

I would desert you–think not but I would!–

And seek another as I sought you first.

But you are mobile as the veering air,

And all your charms more changeful than the tide,

Wherefore to be inconstant is no care:

I have but to continue at your side.

So wanton, light and false, my love, are you,

I am most faithless when I most am true.

Tagged: A Few Figs From Thistles, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Oh Think Not I Am Faithful To A Vow, Poetic Interludes, Poetry

Post the Eighteenth: Why I’m Glad To Be Single

This time of year can get pretty rough for the perpetual singletons out there, Gentle Reader. That’s why I – in firm defiance of Hallmark and De��Beer’s – have chosen to embrace the joys of being single. Here’s hoping that this can help those of you out there who are feeling hard-done-by, hurt, or lonely during this Valentide season. Without further delay – my favorite things about being single.

��Sharing: You Don’t Have To.

Whether it’s a pint of ice cream, a bottle of wine, or something less delightful like toothpaste or toilet paper, you get all of it all to yourself. Not only do these things last longer, saving you money, you get to enjoy it all by yourself. Sorry, Kindergarten Teachers – not sharing is kind of great.

All yours, dumpling. Growl if anyone tries to get in there.

Keeping Artist’s Hours: You Get To

Artist’s hours are notoriously odd – you have a sudden fit of inspiration at three in the morning? Get up and write/paint/sew/sculpt/bake it out, honey. You don’t have anyone you’ll disturb by getting up, or anyone to call you back to bed while you’re getting your best work done. Furthermore, if you’re in the middle of a project, you don’t have to break it off just because someone wants some pillow-talk. Just don’t let your freedom interfere with the day job.

Or you can get up and just screw around online. That works, too.

Speaking of Bed, and also��Not Sharing: The Whole Bed’s Your Own

Sleep diagonally, thrash around all night, snore if you’re so inclined; no one else is there with you, so you can do as you like. Some of the Gentle Readers I polled even revealed that they feel free to pass gas when sleeping alone, but lost sleep through trying to hold it in when with a lover. To each their own. No matter what, having the bed to yourself is heaven.

You’ve Nothing To Stop You From Going Off With A Time-Travelling Alien, If One Should Come To Call

I mean, unless you’ve got kids or dependent relations or a very important job, I suppose. Still – you’ve got no baggage to stop you from running off with these fellas.

Meals: No One Complains, Except Maybe You

You can try new things! You can make mistakes! Or, if you feel like slapping a single-serve microwave supper in, you needn’t wonder who that mysterious hair belongs to. No one else is going to be off their feed, because it’s all your fault and you’re the only one eating it – and no one’s watching. Go ahead and add jalapeno and nutmeg, because it doesn’t matter to anyone else.

Wine And Netflix Are Way Less Judgmental Than A Significant Other

I know, I know – we started this post with wine, and we’re ending this post with wine.��That’s because Wine is pretty great, y’all.�� Wine and Netflix are pretty much the perfect pairing for an evening in – and let’s face it, though the single life is glamorized as a constant whirl of evenings out, we all need to recharge our batteries. Watch what you like with no one to complain about it, and pair it with a nice Riesling. Yolo!

Happy Valentine’s Day, Gentle Reader, whether you’re single, paired, polyamorous, or somewhere between. And if you’re single? I hope this helped. All my love, kittens.

Tagged: Artist's Hours, Jalapenos and Nutmeg, Living Alone and Liking It, Netflix and Wine, Not Sharing, Reasons To Be Glad To Be Single, Single on Valentine's Day, The Doctor and Captain Jack are my Boyfriend, Why I'm Glad To Be Single, Why I'm Single This Valentine's Day

Post the Seventeenth: Terrible Date Ideas for Valentine’s Day

These aren’t your ordinary date ideas, Gentle Reader – oh, no.�� All of them are somewhat unique – and all of them are terrible. If you’ve been putting off a break-up because Valentine’s Day is around the corner, look no further: these dates are sure to do the dirty work for you. Some are creepy, and some seem downright cruel, but all of them will stand out in your sweetie’s memory. Good luck, Gentle Reader, and try not to get arrested!

Or, if you do, at least try to get arrested with your lover!

1. Completely ignore your significant other for about a week and a half before Valentine’s Day. On the big day, break into their apartment and hide; when they get home, jump out and shout surprise! Be sure to have a knife handy for the cupcakes��you brought.

Right through the heart!

2. Retreat to your underground bunker, and feast on things in tins! Afterward, make sure you inform your honey that the door only opens from the outside.

So Romantic!

3. Return to the place where you first laid eyes on one another. Present your muffin with a charming handmade card, saying that you’ve reached a level of trust where you can finally admit to all your flaws – be sure to have written them all down in excruciating detail inside the card. When they’re done reading your exhaustive list, they should be ready to never lay eyes on you again!

4. Take your little cabbage to a romantic dinner at a restaurant. Hire a team of actors to portray the secret family you’ve been hiding in a different town. Bonus points if the actors are interrupted by the real secret family you’ve been hiding!

5. For Straight Guys Only: Take your lady out for the night, and spend a bunch of time messing around on your phone. Eventually, get up to go to the restroom, and leave your phone behind, where your date can discover you’ve spent the entire time chatting with guys on Grindr.

6. Have you and your partner been seeing each other for a ludicrously short amount of time? Why not propose this Valentine’s Day?

I’ve known you for two weeks, Ted!

7.��Drive your��gosling down a long, winding dirt road, and leave them there. Tell yourself they’ll be happier with a nice family in the country, as you drive away. Tell your children they went to go live on a farm.

8. For Long-Term Partners:��Role-Playing can add some freshness and spice to any relationship. Try pretending to be well-balanced individuals who actually like one another.

Are you two even trying?

9. Introduce your lover to the mad spouse you’ve been keeping sedated in the attic! Bonus points if there’s arson!

A Classic.

No matter what you do this Valentine’s Day, Gentle Reader, I hope that its’ something that brings you or someone you love pleasure. Or at least gets you out of a tight spot. Good luck, kittens!

Tagged: Awful Date Ideas, Grindr, Jane Eyre, Jerry Springer, Premature Proposal, Secret Families, Valentine's Day Date Ideas, Valentines, Worst Date Ideas

Poetic Interlude XCVI

L’Escargot d’Or

By Robert Service

O Tavern of the Golden Snail!

Ten sous have I, so I’ll regale;

Ten sous your amber brew to sip

(Eight for the bock and two the tip),

And so I’ll sit the evening long,

And smoke my pipe and watch the throng,

The giddy crowd that drains and drinks,

I’ll watch it quiet as a sphinx;

And who among them all shall buy

For ten poor sous such joy as I?

As I who, snugly tucked away,

Look on it all as on a play,

A frolic scene of love and fun,

To please an audience of One.

O Tavern of the Golden Snail!

You’ve stuff indeed for many a tale.

All eyes, all ears, I nothing miss:

Two lovers lean to clasp and kiss;

The merry students sing and shout,

The nimble garcons dart about;

Lo! here come Mimi and Musette

With: “S’il vous plait, une cigarette?”

Marcel and Rudolf, Shaunard too,

Behold the old rapscallion crew,

With flowing tie and shaggy head…

Who says Bohemia is dead?

Oh shades of Murger! Prank and Clown!

And I will watch and write it down.

O Tavern of the Golden Snail!

What crackling throats have gulped your ale!

What sons of Fame from far and near

Have glowed and mellowed in your cheer!

Within this corner where I sit

Banville and Coppeacutee clashed their wit;

Hither, too, to dream and drain,

And drown despair, came poor Verlaine.

Here Wilde would talk and Synge would muse,

Maybe like me with just ten sous.

Ah! One is lucky, is one not?

With ghosts so rare to drain a pot!

So may your custom never fail,

O Tavern of the Golden Snail!

Tagged: L'Escargot D'Or, Poetic Interludes, Poetry, Robert Service, The Tavern of the Golden Snail