Laurie Jackson's Blog, page 16

Why? How?

Why do I feel like this? Well, that’s an easy answer. I’ve been taking an anti-depression medicine for 5 years. That is a long time. The amount of dosage kept getting changed. Two months ago, I started taking lower dosages so that eventually I could just stop taking it. I was prescribed this medicine years ago because of a situation that happened with myself and my grandson.

I’ve been completely off the medicine for maybe two weeks. I’ve been a bag of emotions. Some days, I’m not sure which way to go or which way is up! I want to run around in circles, shaking my hands.

The symptoms I’ve had today were from being happy this morning to tears this afternoon. I rested for about 20 minutes today. It helped. While I was resting, this wave of coldness washed over me. It started at the top of my head and moved on down to the tips of my toes. It was weird. I didn’t like it. The same thing happened yesterday, too.

This afternoon, I was in the truck waiting for Alex to come out of Walmart. I could have sworn the sun visor moved ever so slightly! I’ve noticed that since I’ve been completely off Citalopram, my speech has changed. I have trouble talking, almost like a stroke symptom. In my brain, I know what I want to say, but when it reaches my mouth, it comes out like gibberish. The back of my neck on the right side hurts. At random times, it feels like the inside of my head, like my brain, is going faster and faster and I can’t get it to slow down, much less stop. I get easily distracted and can’t focus. Sometimes, it is hard for me to breathe. It’s like my air gets caught in my throat. Cry? Yes, I cry at the most silliest stuff. Watching television with Alex the other night, I cried at the birth of a baby.

I feel really well in the morning, ready to write. I feel like today is the day I will actually get some writing done. Once I’ve sat down in front of the computer, the feeling is gone. Then, I tell myself to do a recipe blog and write a memory about it. Once the recipe is written and posted, I do a second recipe or at least try to.

There is no way on Earth that I could EVER be a drug addict. I do not understand how anyone could put weird drugs in their bodies. I don’t get it. If the way I feel now is the way someone feels coming off a high, NO THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!

Thank God for my wonderful husband! He has more patience than I even knew was possible with anyone. I could not fight this battle of withdrawal without him.

I am fighting the worst battle of my life but I will win in the end. If you are going through depression, don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you are on anti depressions make sure your doctor is monitoring them properly. Don’t just let them give you some and then never think about them again. That is what happened to me and now I am going through this.

I hope your day is wonderful!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

From Grandma’s Country Kitchen — Quick Cobbler

Here is a quick recipe for that afternoon coffee.

QUICK COBBLER

Bake 375 degrees for 25 minutes

Melt one stick margarine in 9×13 cake pan.

Mix 1 cup sugar

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder

3/4 cup milk

Pour over melted margarine. Over this pour 1 quart sweetened cooked fruit. Another option would be to use canned fruit or your favorite pie filling.

Serve hot or cold.

Enjoy!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

Ode To A Memory

Ode To My Memory Of My Grandparents Home

I have so many memories of my grandparents’ home. It was an old two-story farmhouse out in the middle of God’s country. I spent most of my summers with my grandparents even though I could easily walk back to my parents house through the woods.

The exterior of their home was layered in asbestos and for many years the original windows. These windows were the slide up kind. Always had to be careful, though, because you never knew if the windows would come crashing down on your fingers. There was a concrete porch attached to the front door. For some reason, I want to say the original porch was made of wood. Due to wear and tear, my dad poured concrete.

In my mind, as I walk into the house through the front door, a wide long hallway meets me. Memories of sliding on sock feet come flooding back. Grandma’s voice telling me and my siblings to stop it before someone gets hurt. Of course, kids being kids, we keep on sliding until one of us is hurt.

As I walk further into the hallway, a doorway stands to my right. The door is closed as it always was growing up. Through that door is what Grandma called her front room; which meant no one is allowed in there unless company is coming. The furniture in the front room is pristine. In the center of the back wall, sits a couch covered in plastic. Black pillows with an animal face sit on either end of the couch. Against the far wall in the corner stands a massive pump organ. It has all the buttons that a person could ever want to pull out or push in. She kept the lid closed to keep our fingers off of the buttons. Once in awhile, Grandma allowed my oldest sister to play. Rarely, did Grandma play the organ but when she did, it was wonderful.  In the corner closest to the door is an oversized arm chair. The floor matches the floor to the hallway. It is wooden and dust free.

One memory I have of being in that room takes place on a Saturday night. Aunts, uncles and cousins are there. The kids are playing a game called HOT/COLD. (One person would hide an object and the rest of us had to find it.) On this particular night, the object we took turns hiding is one of those squishy Nerf type balls. My cousin keeps telling me that I am HOT. I have no luck finding the ball. I search the oversized chair that Mom is sitting in. Each time I move away from the front of the chair, I am COLD. I finally give up. Everyone is laughing because I can not find the ball. Mom reaches down and pulls the ball out of her shoe! Spending time with family is always so much fun!

Through another doorway from the front room is Grandpa and Grandma’s bedroom. There are two windows on opposite walls. There is also a door that leads to the outdoors. The floor in this room is linoleum. After years of walking on, there are little pieces missing from random squares. On the other two walls, opposite each other are clothes dressers. Situated in the center of the room are the beds. Yes, there are two single beds.

From the master bedroom, I walk into the blue room. This room used to be a bedroom but as the grandchildren grew, Grandma decided to use it as her dessert room. In here, pies and cookies and almost any type of candy can be found. Grandpa had such a sweet tooth. He loved his desserts.

Two favorite times of the year for me were Christmas and butchering. Christmas because Grandpa went overboard on candy. He’d drive to the store in Augusta and buy two large brown grocery bags overflowing with candy. His favorite kind were those gummy orange slices covered in sugar. (I ate so many of those slices at one sitting I made myself sick.)

Out of the blue room is a short hallway. To the right, walking down the hallway, is the only bathroom. Across from the bathroom is the large white door that leads back into the front hallway. Just past the bathroom, is a square box that holds the telephone. By this time, you have reached the kitchen. My favorite room in the entire house.

The kitchen is where the company preferred to be. After a huge meal of chicken, or roast beef, riced potatoes and gravy, dinner rolls made from scratch and homemade butter, fresh vegetables out of the garden, everyone was comfortable and did not want to move. Someone would make the comment about doing dishes and the men usually vanished outdoors. There was always homemade bread, jelly, jam, butter, coffee, lemonade, tea, pies, pies and more pies and cookies.

Grandma loved cooking and baking. She had an apartment size stove. Grandpa fried the chicken in the basement. His reason was to keep the mess off Grandma’s stove.

Grandma’s kitchen table held many, many meals. She taught her granddaughters (me and my sisters :) ) how to cut out dress and or shirt patterns. The table could be covered with patterns, a variety of scrap materials, loose straight pins, and scissors one minute and cleared off for lunch the next.

Off the kitchen is the huge living room. Two large windows covered one wall. Identical recliner chairs sit in opposite corners off the kitchen. The television is on the far wall. Growing up, we didn’t have a television. Each Saturday night, we piled in to a truck on top of each other and drove to my grandparents’ house. It was a treat for us to be able to watch LAWRENCE WELK and HEE HAW. Grandma always had large bowls of ice cream for us to eat, as well.

The stairs that lead up to the second story are narrow. The steps are slick and worn. There are two large bedrooms on either side of the center room. The bedroom to the left is piled full of treasures. We were rarely allowed in this room. The other large bedroom is my uncle’s room.

There is no closets except one in the blue room. The ceilings are at least ten feet high. The walls are covered with bead board. The house had been in the family for at least one hundred years. My uncle was the last to pass and had left the farm to his nieces and nephews. It saddens me to this day that the family agreed to sell the farm.

The last time I was at Grandma and Grandpa’s house was right before the farm was sold. There had been a horrible thunderstorm that had left damage to the house. On this last day, I stood in the center of the yard as my tears flowed like rivers. The house that stood in front of me was not the same house I remembered as a young child. I have not been back there since then. I will always have my wonderful memories of watching television on Saturday nights and twirling around on Sunday afternoons with Grandpa. He loved his music and dancing. He and Grandma waltzed around the room with such ease. They were worth watching. Grandpa taught us not only to enjoy music but also how to appreciate it.

Thank you, Grandpa, Grandma and Unkie for all the memories of life lessons and laughter. I miss each of you so very much to this day. Each one of you hold a special place in my heart. I love you so very much!!!

I could go on and on about this particular memory but I’ll stop for now. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this.

May your day be full of blessings!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

From Grandma’s Country Kitchen — Oatmeal Cake

Yet another recipe that I have not tried. I don’t like oatmeal or coconut. If someone asked me to make this for them though, I would. If I remember correctly, this may have been one of Grandpa’s favorites.

OATMEAL CAKE

1 cup quick oats, pour 1 1/4 cup boiling water over it. Add 1 stick oleo (margarine). Cover and let stand 20 minutes.

Then add:

1 cup sugar

1 cup brown sugar

2 eggs

1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon salt

While cake is baking, mix topping.

6 tablespoons soft oleo

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 cup cream

1 cup coconut

1 cup nuts

Spread on cake while hot.

Broil until coconut is brown.

ICING:

6 tablespoons oleo

1/2 cup sugar

1/3 cup PET milk or cream

1/2 cup nuts

1/2 cup coconut

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Boil 5 minutes.

May you feel the warmth of sunshine today!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

From Grandma’s Country Kitchen — Bacon Cheeseburger Crock Pot Dip

I have not tried this recipe yet, but with bacon in the title, it can’t be horrible!

BACON CHEESEBURGER CROCK POT DIP

1 pound hamburger

8 ounce package cream cheese, cubed

2 cup shredded cheddar cheese

10 ounces diced tomatoes

6 ounce package real bacon bits, divided (I’m thinking perhaps I’ll take the time to fry real bacon and crumble it.)

1 teaspoon parsley

Assorted dippers

Brown ground beef. Drain meat and place in large skillet. Over low heat, stir in cheeses, tomatoes, along with juices. Add all bacon bits except 2 tablespoons (set aside)

Cook while stirring frequently until everything is heated through and well blended.

Pour mixture into a 2 quart crock pot. Cover and cook on low for 2-3 hours, stirring occasionally. Stir in parsley and sprinkle with remaining bacon bits just before serving.

Hope your day is full of laughter!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website! Thanks!

From Grandma’s Country Kitchen —

These are scrumptious with afternoon coffee.

FRENCH CRESCENT ROLLS

1 package active dry yeast

1/4 cup warm water (110 to 115 degrees)

3/4 cup warm milk (110 to 115 degrees)

1 egg

2 tablespoons sugar

1 tablespoon shortening

1 teaspoon salt

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

3 tablespoons butter or margarine, softened

ICING:

1 1/2 cups confectioner’s sugar

2 tablespoons milk

3 tablespoons butter or margarine

1/2 teaspoon almond extract

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 cup chopped walnuts

In a mixing bowl, dissolve yeast in water. Add milk, egg, sugar, shortening and salt; mix well. Add flour; mix until smooth. Place in greased bowl, turning once to grease top. Cover and chill for at least 1 hour. On a floured surface, roll dough to 1/4″ thickness. Spread with 1 tablespoon softened butter. Fold corners to the middle. Fold in half. Wrap dough in waxed paper. Chill for 30 minutes. Repeat rolling, buttering, folding and chilling twice more. Divide dough in half. On a floured surface, roll each into an 11″ circle, 1/8″ thick. Cut each circle into 8 wedges. Roll up from wide edge to tip of dough and pinch and seal. Place rolls, tips down, on greased baking sheets and curve to form a crescent. Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 30 minutes. Bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or until lightly browned.

For icing, combine sugar, milk, butter and extracts. Spread over warm rolls. Sprinkle with nuts.

Yield: 16 rolls

Enjoy!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

Childhood Ends?!

What??! Why? No one told me this ;)

I guess the day I was forced to grow up was the first time I baby-sat. I had not even been left a lone to watch my siblings much someone else’s child.

I had just turned 12 years old. It was to be on Christmas Eve. The family wanted to go to church together at midnight. This particular family were close friends to my grandparents. So, I agreed to babysit when asked.

The baby was asleep when I arrived because it was around 10:30 pm. I really didn’t have to do anything except be there in case the baby woke up. There was still the responsibility of taking care of someone so little depending on me.

The family appreciated me babysitting their little one. I watched their children many years after that.

May your day be full of blessings!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

From Grandma’s Country Kitchen — Mahogany Chiffon

This recipe is my absolute favorite as far as cake goes. Grandma always made it for special occasions such as birthdays. It was always so delicious!

The first time I made this cake, I had to laugh at myself. Well, first I was upset but then I calmed down. I checked on the cake while it was baking and oh. my. gosh. The batter was so thin it had leaked out of the pan and onto the oven floor! Obviously, I had STIRRED the batter instead of folding it like the recipe read. Ugh! Oh well. Better luck next time! :)

MAHOGANY CHIFFON CAKE

Make sure the eggs are at room temperature.

3/4 cup boiling water

1/2 cup cocoa

1 3/4 cup all-purpose flour

Sift the flour, measure, then add 1 tablespoon of cornstarch and sift again. Measure again.

1 3/4 cups sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup vegetable oil

7 unbeaten egg yolks (medium size)

2 teaspoons vanilla

1 cup egg whites (7 or 8)

1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar

Heat oven to 325 degrees. (Slow oven.)

Combine boiling water and cocoa, let cool. Measure flour by dip level – pour or by sifting.

Blend flour, sugar, baking soda and salt in bowl. Make a well and add oil, egg yolks, vanilla and cocoa mixture. Beat until smooth. Measure egg whites and add cream of tartar in large mixing bowl and beat until very stiff. Pour egg yolk mixture in thin stream over entire surface of whites, gently cutting and folding in with rubber spatula. Do not stir! Pour into ungreased 10″ tube pan. (Angel food cake pan.)

Bake 55 minutes at 325 degrees. Then at 350 degrees for 10 to 15 minutes. Invert. Let hang until cold.

This cake is excellent with ice cream! :)

Enjoy your day!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

Dear Writer’s Block

Dear Writer’s Block,

It’s not you. It’s me. I am breaking up with you. We can no longer hang out together. It’s time for one of us to move on. I’ll do it. You are not strong enough to move. It will be easier if I just go. My patience runs thin with you trying to help me.

It will be hard for us both. In the end, it will be worth it, I promise. It’s time for some different friendships for the both of us. I feel that we can grow in different directions. Time to expand our horizons.

I’ll let you come for a visit once in awhile. I won’t allow you to over stay your welcome, though. I have for many years been trying to write my sister’s story but you have been around distracting me. Shame on you! I will succeed without your help.

You have your life, Writer’s Block and I have mine.

Sincerely,

A Happier Me

May your day be full of sunshine and plenty of coffee!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!

From Grandma’s Country Kitchen — Texas Cake

Here is a recipe for a large family or are having a party.

TEXAS CAKE

Do not use mixer.

Sift together and set aside.

2 cups all-purpose flour

2 cups sugar

In saucepan, bring to boil the following ingredients:

1 stick butter or margarine

1/2 cup shortening (Crisco)

1 cup water

2 heaping tablespoons cocoa

Pour chocolate mixture over flour and sugar.

Stir well.

Combine:

1/2 cup buttermilk

1 teaspoon baking soda

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Pour this in chocolate mixture. Put in a large pan.

Bake for 18 to 20 minutes at 375 degrees. Grandma always used a large cookie sheet with sides.

ICING

Make in pan you cooked chocolate mixture in.

1 stick butter

2 heaping tablespoons cocoa

1/3 cup buttermilk

Bring to boil. Add 1 pound powdered sugar

1 cup nuts

Have icing ready to pour over hot cake.

Enjoy!

Laurie Jackson

Please feel free to visit my website. Thank you!