Bart King's Blog, page 48

Today, we salute the best awful writers!

If you can write the first sentence to an awful novel, you should enter the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. It rewards really bad writing . . . so the worst, the better! Check out these favorites of mine from this year’s contest:

Teacher Librarian Magazine praise for THE DRAKE EQUATION!

The full text:

THE DRAKE EQUATION by Bart King is a humorous science fiction adventure.While on a quest for an elusive bird, Noah instead finds a mysterious, glittery disk. This middle-school youth suddenly acquires strange powers that lead to funny adventures. 

Librarians will find that young readers empathize with the young birdwatcher and his friends. While the science fiction aspects don’t really take off until the second half of the book, most children will enjoy the school and friendship aspects of the story.

I see what you did there, Portland Water Bureau.

Get it? "Pool"?

"He did it to himself!"

Hi! Do you like "Stranger Things"?

Then you might like this site. It changes words into the retro font style used by that show.

Signed,

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE

Yeah, yeah, the Olympic athletes are SOO impressive.

But listen, I was quite the athlete on my high school's track team.

I don't mind that the book's called OOPS I WET MY PANTS.

But why is it in the "Fun 'n Sun" series?! :P

I don't mind that the book's called OOPS I WET MY PANTS. But why's it in the "Fun 'n Sun" series?

But why is it in the "Fun 'n Sun" series?! :P

That's it. I'm closing up shop.

Because THIS is the greatest gif of all time!(Via.)