Ikhwan Ng's Blog, page 8

Cina, Muallaf, Babi

"Awak ni cina muallaf ke?"
"Awak makan babi lagi sekarang?"

Itulah apa yang diucapkan oleh seorang muslimah yang berpakaian jubah hitam dan memakai sarung tangan. Saya ingin menggantikan nama tu kepada khinzir tapi itulah situasi sebenar yang didengari oleh seorang kawan revert saya. "Cina, muallaf, babi."

Beliau kongsikan kisah ini yang baru berlaku pada minggu lepas hari jumaat. Saya amat menghormatinya kerana beliau telah memeluk Islam lebih 40 tahun.. Namun tujuan saya bukannya ingin mengaibkan sesiapa, maka saya rahsiakan nama kawan saya dan tiada gambar dan video muslimah itu untuk diviralkan. bab viral2 aib orang bukannya adab orang Islam.. Buat sementara ni saya namakan kawan saya sebagai Auntie A.
Auntie A pergi ke pasar pada jumaat lepas awal pagi untuk persiapan jamuan raya.. almaklum hari raya Aidilfitri merupakan perayaan meriah buat semua Muslim. Auntie A terserempak dengan kawan baik cina di pasar, maka mereka pun berborak dalam bahasa cina.. Auntie amat sporting dan sering berkongsi keindahan Islam dengan kawan non muslim.

Semasa mereka berborak, tiba2 datang seorang muslimah yang berjubah hitam tanya pada Auntie A, awak ni cina muallaf ke?

"Saya bukan muallaf.. saya dah memeluk islam lebih 40 tahun. Sepatutnya saya dipanggil Cina Muslim. Muallaf tu maksudnya orang yang baru Islam kan? " Auntie A jawab.

"Ya, tapi awak ni makan babi lagi ke? Aku tak percaya yang awak ni tak makan babi." Muslimah itu tanya lagi.

Kemudian berlaku kemelut yang agak teruk.. Auntie A genggam kuat pada lengan muslimah itu dan bertanya apakah maksud sebenar yang dia nak sampaikan? Cina disamakan dengan binatang? Sampai tua pun masih digelar 'muallaf'?? Ia mencetus kontroversi kerana Auntie A memeluk Islam dengan sepenuh ikhlas hatinya, apatah lagi semenjak kecil memang dia tidak menjamu langsung makanan khinzir.

Namun muslimah itu enggan memohon maaf dan diam saja walaupun Auntie A mempertahankan maruah diri dan terus bertanya apakah niatnya bertanya soalan begitu? Apakah dia tidak faham erti muallaf ataupun melihat orang yang bukan lahir Islam sebagai kafir selama2nya?

Apabila dengar kisah ni daripada Auntie A, saya hanya berasa kefahaman perkauman masih sangat teruk di Malaysia. Saya kenal ramai kawan muslim yang jaga adab dan berilmu.. Mereka tidak pernah bertanya bab makanan dengan saya kerana itu semua "sejarah hitam" saya. Takkan saya nak minum dynamo samak perut? Pabila seseorang mengucap syahadah, salap silap dan dosa yang lalu dihapuskan manaka kebaikan yang lalu dikekalkan untuk bekalan akhirat. Apa yang penting adalah selepas syahadah kami menghentikan segala kegiatan haram mahupun makruh, memperbanyakkan amal dan mengerja pahala.

Jika ingin bertanya status agama seseorang, janganlah mula dengan 'muallaf'. Kan best jika kita bertanya sebegini: " Tahun bila anda diberi hidayah untuk memeluk Islam? " silap2 jawapannya dia merupakan anak kepada bapa atau ibu yang reverted Muslim!

Jika ingin bertanya tentang khinzir.. harus faham rasuah dan duit haram sama 'darjat' dengan khinzir, cuma bezanya ia tidak berbau dan senang diperolehi. Reverted Muslim sanggup ditendang ahli keluarga kerana enggan makan khinzir dan kekal keputusannya memilih Islam, kerana cinta kepada Allah.. bukannya hanya sebab bab makanan semata-mata.

Fikir-fikirkan dahulu sebelum bertutur, apa yang kita ucapkan tidak boleh ditarik balik, apatah lagi kita akan disoal segala amalan pada akhirat jua.



Mohon maaf sekiranya artikel ini buat pembaca tersinggung perasaan dan tidak selesa.. Kami hanya ingin menuntut sedikit maruah yang masih ada setelah dicaci hina oleh keluarga non muslim yang kami sayangi.

The Oldest Religion

The Quran mentions 25 messengers by name but also tells that God sent many other prophets and messengers, to all the different nations that have existed on Earth.

"Ikhwan u knw hindu the oldest religion?"
-dhyanesh revi

One of the comment in my blog.
It seems pretty fair, the oldest religion withhold the authentic source of God. Although Islam came after Hindu, Judaism, Christianity.. There's one thing that make Islam special from other religions.

Islam is the oldest religion than any other religions. It's not invented by people, in fact our Creator, ALLAH SWT has no beginning and ending.. Guide us to the straight path since the first human Adam created.
And God said, to the Angels:

“And (remember) when your Lord said to the angels: ‘I am going to create a human (Adam) from sounding clay of altered black smooth mud. So when I have fashioned him and breathed into him (his) soul created by Me, then you fall down prostrate to him.” (Quran 38:71-72)

God told mankind that He did not create them except that they should worship Him. Everything in this world was created for Adam and his descendants, in order to aid us in our ability to worship and know God. Due to God’s infinite Wisdom, Adam and his descendants were to be the caretakers on earth, so God taught Adam what he needed to know to perform this duty. God mentions:

“He taught Adam all the names of everything.” (Quran 2:31)

God gave Adam the ability to identify and designate names to everything; He taught him language, speech and the ability to communicate. God imbued Adam with an insatiable need for and love of knowledge. After Adam had learned the names and uses for all things God said to the Angels...

“‘tell me the names of these if you are truthful.’ They answered ‘Glory be to You, we have no knowledge except what You have taught us. Verily it is You the All Knower, the All Wise.’” (Quran 2:31-32)
God turned to Adam and said:

“‘O Adam! Inform them of their names,’ and when he had informed them of their names, He said: Did I not tell you that I know the unseen in the heavens and the earth, and I know what you reveal and what you have been hiding?” (Quran 2:33)

WE ARE NOT MUSLIM if we dare to say that there's no other messengers except prophet Muhammad saw, or if we ever mention that ISLAM is a brand new religion out of nowhere.

ISLAM is the message of Tawheed, oneness of Creator.
We are following the eternal message from messengers including Musa(Moses), Abraham (Ibrahim), Isa(Jesus) before our last prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

The oldest message is The Throne Verse:

Allah - there is no deity except Him, the Ever-Living, the Sustainer of [all] existence. Neither drowsiness overtakes Him nor sleep. To Him belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth. Who is it that can intercede with Him except by His permission? He knows what is [presently] before them and what will be after them, and they encompass not a thing of His knowledge except for what He wills. His Kursi extends over the heavens and the earth, and their preservation tires Him not. And He is the Most High, the Most Great.
(2:255)



We Muslim don't invent new religion, instead we are going back to our very first religion which is submission to ALLAH.

In the Name of Allah, the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful!

Chinese Translation of Chapter Al-'Ikhlas (The Sincerity)
Selepas berkongsi gambar terjemahan cina surah al-Ikhlas, saya menerima persoalan daripada seorang not yet muslim iaitu kenapa merujuk Allah sebagai 他? (Ta). “Kenapa guna sebutan 他 (ta)? 他(Ta) merujuk kepada manusia seperti kita semua, bukannya merujuk kepada Tuhan?"

他=He
她=She

Saya berasa soalan ini amat bagus sebenarnya.
Dalam bahasa terjemahan English, ia bertukar menjadi "He". BM pula menyebut "Dia".


Kristian menggunakan nama Allah dalam terjemahan Bible. Ia merupakan perkara biasa kerana orang Arab yang beragama Christian juga merujuk Tuhan sebagai "Allah". Tapi mereka tidak sedar bahawa nama "Allah" merupakan nama Pencipta yang tidak boleh diterjemahkan kepada bahasa lain dengan erti yg sama.

Kristian mendakwa Allah adalah salah satu daripada trinity. Iaitu holy spirit, The Son (Jesus) and The Father.

The "Shield of the Trinity" or Scutum Fidei diagram of traditional medieval Western Christian symbolism, since 12th-century BCE.

The Christian doctrine of the Trinity (from Latin trinitas "triad", from trinus "threefold") defines God as three consubstantial persons, expressions, or hypostases: the Father, the Son (Jesus Christ), and the Holy Spirit; "one God in three persons".

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinity

Padahal dari segi bahasa arab. Ilah bermaksud tuhan-tuhan, plural, ia boleh membawa maksud lelaki ataupun perempuan.

Manakala nama "ALLAH", singular, ertinya tunggal. Tidak membawa maksud lelaki ataupun perempuan. Nama ALLAH tidak dapat digantikan dengan nama daripada bahasa lain kerana tidak wujud ayat yang mengandungi maksud sama dengannya.

Begitu juga dengan terjemahan English yang menulis "WE", ia bukanya bermaksud Tuhan adalah ramai sehingga menggunakan ayat "Kami". Sebaliknya ia merupakan suatu panggilan untuk RAJA ataupun pemimpin yang teratas. Boleh diterjemah sebagai "Beta" dalam BM.

And indeed We (Allah uses the word "We" in the royal sense like the king who says, "We decree the following...", this is not in the plural) created the heavens and the earth and everything in between in six days and fatigue never touched Us (again, this is the royal "Us" not plural). [Noble Quran 50:38]

Jadi apabila kita membaca terjemahan. Memang tidak boleh terjemahkan semua ayat quran kepada 100% maksud yg sama. Sebaliknya kita perlu kaji ayat asal dalam quran dan kaji dari segi bahasa arab. Quran diturunkan dalam bahasa arab yg tinggi gaya bahasanya, sehingga sekarang tiada orang dapat hasilkan ayat yang setanding dengannya.

Sama seperti aliff lam mim. Maksudnya hanya Allah yang Maha Mengetahui. Dari segi bahasa tiada sebarang kecacatan, namun tiada seorang penterjemah dapat memahami ertinya.

Untuk memahami lebih lanjut mengenai hikmah sebalik nama ALLAH, mohon tonton youtube video ini :

Hikmah Nama "Allah" dalam berbagai Bahasa - Yusuf Estes
Specially thanks brother Khai Ng for the enlightenment in Facebook:
Khai Ng 
  Agreed bro. Very good sharing. Just allow me to add a bit --- The chinese translation here is pretty accurate as Allah refers to himself in the quran as هو (He/他) instead of هي (She/她). But Allah The All Wise knows best. Indeed Allah is genderless but the choice of a masculine reference is merely because of arabic grammar/linguistic rule.


This is a good explanation of this topic by Sheikh Dr Zakir Naik =>


And a clear and more in depth explanation by Sheikh Nouman Ali Khan =>




Another interesting discussion:

Elis Qhalila Clyess Yap 
他她祂牠它...... i believe 祂 is use to refer God..... as in 他 =he 她= she 祂 = for God 牠 = for animal 它 =it (things)...... not sure but my understanding is such


In my humble opinion:

祂 　

拼音：tā, 　笔划：7 　部首：礻 　五笔输入法： 基本解释：祂 tā

称上帝、耶稣或神的第三人称代词。

http://www.chinabaike.com/dir/zidian/T/543449.html

" 祂" still can't replace the original meaning of Allah SWT. More like deities or Bible translation.

What I'm emphasizing is there's no other word in any language may bring the exact meaning of "Allah". But it may found in the old testament like Elohim (Hebrew: אֱלֹהִים).

It may mention the similar meaning like "God", 上帝，上天，神明。but not exact like the word that Author of Quran calling Himself as ALLAH SWT.

Wallahu a’lam

Tidak mengapa, saya sanggup.

Little pilgrimage in Kinokuniya Bookstore, KLCC
Ramai yang bertanya kenapa dan bagaimana saya kembali kepada Islam?

Kecintaan kepada Allah yang Maha Esa datang daripada hati. Ketahuilah semua manusia dilahirkan dengan fitrah, ingin mencintai Tuhan dan memohon kepadaNya.

Namun ibu bapa yang mengajar kita semenjak kecil kepada Tuhan mana yang patut kita menyembah, maka kami pun taat dan turut.. Tidak banyak menyoal kenapa tuhan berbagai ragam, kenapa kadang2 doa tidak dimakbul, kenapa hidup untuk mengejar duniawi kemudian takut pada mati, takut pada musibah..


"Saya lebih rela hidup tanpa agama jika diminta mengikuti ajaran yang tiada fakta."

Teruskan..
Teruskan kehidupan sebegini.

Tapi jiwa kosong.
Apakah manusia dilahirkan tanpa sebab kemudian lenyap begitu saja? Saya sering berfikir.

Sehingga saya menemui makna syahadah, tiada Tuhan melainkan Allah. Dia tidak menyerupai sebarang mahluk di atas dunia. Yang Maha Esa dan Maha Besar. Tidak boleh terbayang bentuk Allah kerana ilmu kita terbatas, kita boleh merasai kewujudan Allah tanpa melalui patung buatan manusia dan perantara.

Mulai saat itu saya bernekad untuk kembali kepada Pencipta. Siapa sangka yang saya ni begitu anti doktrin agama boleh kembali beragama. namun kali ini sungguh berbeza, saya kembali kepada Tuhan yang wujud, yang tiada penafian terhadapNya.

Telah menjadi perkara biasa apabila sering dihukum oleh manusia, menganggap saya mengambil kesempatan atas nama muslim, mengejar dunia atas nama agama.

Namun mereka tidak mengetahui bahawa saya sanggup gadaikan nyawa dan harta saya kerana Allah. Biar maruah dipijak, dicaci keluarga sendiri, dihina masyarakat. Berapa ramai kawan lama enggan jumpa semula dengan saya, memandang saya dengan penuh kebencian. Cuma saya tidak suka mengeluh, adalah tidak penting bagi orang sekeliling memahami perasaan saya ataupun tidak. Saya tetap memilih jalan ini biarpun perit.

Saya sanggup belajar menulis untuk berkongsi setiap kebenaran yang saya menemui dalam Islam. Ya, pasti ada kawan bukan muslim yang datang dan bersoal bagai. Apakah saya sudah gila untuk memeluk agama pengganas?

Tidak, tidak sekali.
Maka saya belajar dari zero, saya sanggup diejek grammar lemah, buku banyak kesilapan tatabahasa. Saya hanya ingin berkongsi apa yang saya faham.

Difitnah oleh orang?
Diminta sembunyikan pengislaman saya oleh keluarga?
Dipandang serong?
Gossip? Majikan lama syak saya terkena ilmu hitam kerana enggan makan khinzir?

Tidak mengapa, saya sanggup.



Saya sanggup kerana saya ingin kembali kepada Allah yang Maha Esa.

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For The Love Of Almighty Creator

"I had no interest to know anything about Islam, not to mention the consideration of embrace Islam." One of the former Christian told me about this, that she finds the true path of life in Islam.

It's true that most of the time Non Muslim stay away from knowing what Islam really about. The so called "Islamophobia" that cause by terrorism, Right Wing, media, etc. It makes Non Muslim feel like there's nothing to deal with Islam anyway.

"I have tried so hard to debate with my husband (before married), till I cried and cried that hoping so much he'll embrace Christian. That's all because I thought Islam is a wrong religion and I want to pull him away from hell fire."
As time goes by, she was trying to learn what Islam about for the very first time. Something that she never tried in her whole life.. As she was thinking that Christianity is the only faith she needs and that's not necessary to learn what other religions about.

However, the more she reads about Islam from the books and internet, including listening to Ahmad Deedat and Zakir Naik speeches from youtube, she has a whole new perceptions about Islam. The most apparent fact is prohet Isa a.s. (Jesus) is mentioned 25 times compared to prophet Muhammad s.a.w. 4 times in al-Qur'an. It shows that Islam never deny the existence of prophet Isa a.s. (Jesus), in a matter of fact believe in prophets including Isa a.s. also pillar of faith in Islam without associating him with al-Mighty Creator.

Narrated Abu Hurairah: Allah’s Messenger(p.b.u.h.) said, “My similitude in comparison with the other Prophets before me is that of a man who has built a house nicely and beautifully, except for a place of one brick in a corner. The people go round about it and wonder at its beauty, but say: “Would that this brick be put in its place!”So I am the last(end) of the Prophets.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Vol.4 Hadith No.735)

Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. didn't deny the existence of Jesus, also not the so called "Anti Christ". He is the last messenger to perfect the Ad-Deen (Faith) of Islam. This fact really captured her attention to know more about Islam as a Christian believer, that God is showing her the true Guidance with His Mercy.

"At that time, that kind of faith towards Christian is somehow similar to the faith I'm having towards Islam right now, but I could find the inner peace and I have become a better person.

My faith is getting stronger. Allah SWT is more closer to me compared with the time I was a christian.."

She was asking me what's stopping people from knowing Islam?
Is there anything we could do to share the true message of Islam?

Yup sure.. We could do our part as a Muslim. Islam is not a brand new religion that pop out from nowhere. Every prophets before prophet Muhammad s.a.w. was telling the same message, worship none but Allah SWT, the al-Mighty Creator.

Mankind was [of] one religion [before their deviation]; then Allah sent the prophets as bringers of good tidings and warners and sent down with them the Scripture in truth to judge between the people concerning that in which they differed. And none differed over the Scripture except those who were given it - after the clear proofs came to them - out of jealous animosity among themselves. And Allah guided those who believed to the truth concerning that over which they had differed, by His permission. And Allah guides whom He wills to a straight path.

al-Qur'an, (Surat Al-Baqarah (The Cow) 2:213)


Being Islam doesn't mean betray our God, instead we are learning the real attribute of God and love Him more than ever..


The true faith towards God.

Life In A Maze

When I was attending english tuition class during standard 3, I couldn't pay attention to the class and just did whatever I could to memorize vocabulary, follow teacher's instructions to do homework. I couldn't be the same like those who speak English as mother tongue, they seems relax to deal with school exam.

Until one day the tuition teacher Mrs. Lee gave everyone of us a piece of paper. It's a maze game.. Unlike ordinary maze, this maze is seems so complicated that trigger my interest. While others were frown their forehead to solve the maze, I managed to finish it in few minutes and shouted out happily, "I'm the winner! I have solved the maze!!"
For the first time I had beaten down those smart students, they were still drawing thin line and figure the way out.

"Do you understand how could you solve the maze in a glance? " Mrs Lee was smiling.

"Yeah, why teacher? Why?"

Mrs Lee was silent and didn't answer my question. I asked her again and again, I was like "Come on.. show me the answer sheet! What's the exact answer to this question? "

She didn't answer my question.
I was like being put into a huge life size maze, she was asking me to look for the answer on my own without telling me which way to go. Many years goes by and till today, the maze puzzle is still in my mind..

Perhaps there's no answer sheet in dealing with life. If she was telling me the answer based on her self perception, may be I'll just listen and forget about it. Or may be I'll live in her self assumption.. whether it's right or wrong.

A question without answer, as great as a maze with many possibilities and only one way out.

If she had drawn the exit line for me on the maze, I won't remember the exit line as well whenever I'm dealing with the same maze again.

Take a walk and look at the maze around us, there's only one way out, you're the one who keep walking and searching.

Thanks to Mrs Lee, I won't believe in internet search engine and keep on finding answers from many different source. Maybe it's doesn't matter anymore why would I solve puzzle better than homework. Maybe I shouldn't ask her from the first time.


 
Figuring the way out all by myself.

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Testimonial

Umm Zakiyyah : PRACTICING ISLAM IN LONG, LONG PRAYER GARMENTS

I just came across an article Practicing Islam in Short Shorts written by Thanaa El-Naggar.

The scenario I'm about to describe has happened to me more times than I can count, in more cities than I can remember, mostly in Western cities here in the U.S. and Europe.

I walk into a store. There's a woman shopping in the store that I can clearly identify as Muslim. In some scenarios she's standing behind the cash register tallying up totals and returning change to customers. She's wearing a headscarf. It's tightly fastened under her face where her head meets her neck. Arms covered to the wrists. Ankles modestly hidden behind loose fitting pants or a long, flowy dress. She's Muslim. I know it. Everyone around her knows it. I stare at her briefly and think to myself, "She can't tell if I'm staring at her because I think she is a spectacle or because I recognize something we share."

I realize this must make her uncomfortable, so I look away. I want to say something, something that indicates I'm not staring because I'm not familiar with how she chooses to cover herself. Something that indicates that my mother dresses like her. That I grew up in an Arab state touching the Persian Gulf where the majority dresses like her. That I also face East and recite Quran when I pray.

"Should I greet her with A'salamu alaikum?" I ask myself. Then I look at what I picked out to wear on this day. A pair of distressed denim short shorts, a button-down Oxford shirt, and sandals. My hair is a big, curly entity on top of my head; still air-drying after my morning shower. Then I remember my two nose rings, one hugging my right nostril, the other snugly hanging around my septum. The rings have become a part of my face. I don't notice them until I have to blow my nose or until I meet someone not accustomed to face piercings.

I decide not to say anything to her. I pretend that we have nothing in common and that I don't understand her native tongue or the language in which she prays. The reason I don't connect with her is that I'm not prepared for a possibly judgmental glance up and down my body. I don't want to read her mind as she hesitantly responds, "Wa'alaikum a'salam."

Please read the rest of the story in here : http://truestories.gawker.com/practicing-islam-in-short-shorts-1683991294

It's a story pretty much about Cultural Muslim,  as a Reverted Muslim myself who had been living 100% Non Muslim life before embraced Islam, I don't think Islam should become a religion that's "mix and match" based on our desire as it's a complete morality system set by Creator, a way of life.

However the response from Umm Zakiyyah is truly brilliant, in her article : PRACTICING ISLAM IN LONG, LONG PRAYER GARMENTS . As attached the original article, please enjoy reading it :
“I suppose it's natural to feel judged when we know we're not living right. Our guilty conscience projects on everything around us. Innocent laughter becomes mockery. A fleeting frown becomes scorn. Even dhikr (remembrance of Allah) becomes offensive. But it's so much easier to just start living right than to expend so much energy complaining about all the people judging us for doing wrong.”— from the journal of Umm Zakiyyah
The scenario I'm about to describe has happened to me more times than I can count, in more cities than I can remember, mostly here in the U.S. and at times during my travels to Muslim countries.I walk into a store. There's a woman shopping there that I know is Muslim. In some scenarios, she's standing behind the cash register tallying up totals and returning change to customers. She's not wearing a headscarf. Her clothes are tight against her body. Her neck and cleavage visible. Arms exposed to the wrists. Bare legs showing in her mini dress or short shorts. She's Muslim. I know it. But no one around her knows it. I stare at her briefly and think to myself, “She can't tell if I'm staring because I think she is a shameful spectacle or because I know something that we both share.”I realize that this must make her uncomfortable, so I look away. I want to say something. Something that indicates that I'm not staring because of how she chooses to uncover herself. Something that indicates that some of my closest friends and family dress like her. That I grew up in a mostly non-Muslim family and an American Muslim community where the majority of women dress like her. That I also struggle in my practice of Islam, though in a way not so visible to others. That I also face East and recite Qur'an when I pray.Should I greet her with “As-salaamu'alaikum?” I ask myself.Then I look at what I picked out to wear on this day. A wide, formless abaya. My hair is covered in a dull-colored hijab. Then I remember my face veil, my niqaab. It has become a part of my face. I usually don't notice it until I have to blow my nose or eat in public, or until I meet someone unaccustomed to this form of Islamic dress.I decide not to say anything to her. I pretend we have nothing in common and that I don't understand her religious beliefs or the Arabic we both recite in prayer. The reason I don't connect with her is that I'm not prepared for a possibly judgmental glance up and down my body. I don't want to read her mind as she hesitantly (if at all) responds, “Wa'alaiku mus salaam.”I'm guilty of judging and projecting my thoughts onto her before giving her a chance to receive this information and respond to it. It's wrong. My hesitation in these scenarios comes from knowing that a sizable number of people from my religion look at people dressed like me and write us off as women who have lost their way and joined an extremist path of Islam. I cover my hair…and my face (The most popular Islamic opinion allows a woman's face to be shown, so covering it is extreme to some Muslims). Nothing in my outward appearance speaks to or represents my open-mindedness and my love for all my Muslim brothers and sisters, no matter their personal struggles or how they dress.However, I am a normal Muslim. I pray (five times a day, every day), fast, recite the travel supplication before I start my car's engine, pay my zakaah (an obligatory charity paid on one's wealth for all who can afford it) and most importantly, I believe in Allah and hope for His mercy and forgiveness when I die. There are many like me. We don't believe in picking and choosing which parts of Islam we will follow or believe in while still calling our belief system Islam. Yes, we fall short repeatedly and sin often, but we call our shortcomings “human fault” and our sin “disobedience to Allah.” Despite our natural human diversity, we believe in a monolithic path to Paradise: It's called the Straight Path in the Qur'an. We love Islam, and because we love it so much, we refuse to reduce it to an ever-changing, flexible belief system based on the whims and desires of ourselves and others. We're uncomfortable trying to pass for non-Muslims or “non-practicing Muslims,” even if it saves us from one or more of the following: unsolicited warnings about how people who dress like us should stop judging others; being called a Wahhabi or extremist before we even open our mouths to share what we think or believe; unwelcomed advice from a stranger that starts with “You don't have to dress like that here in [insert country]”; or an impromptu lecture, straight from an Islamophobic textbook that I knew was nonsense at age 13.Islamic studies were part of my upbringing until I graduated from high school. (I'm indigenous American and my parents converted to Islam). However, the textbooks about Islam in my school portrayed people who look like me as fundamentalists and extremists and said we were followers of the Wahhabi sect of Islam (though I'd never heard of that group until I opened those books). The first time I realized it was okay to verbalize how nonsensical these stereotypes were was when I studied Islam for myself and realized that Allah has a special place in Paradise for everyone who dies as a believer, no matter how they looked or dressed on earth, and no matter how many faults and sins they had.That was all the permission I needed to allow myself to believe in a more compassionate religious outlook than the one spoken about in those textbooks, and from the mouths of the Muslims who called me a Wahhabi or extremist for merely loving to obey my Lord.My parents and many of my Muslim friends are pretty religious. They don't know my sins, and I don't know theirs. I'm honestly not quite sure how they would react to knowing what I struggle with every day, but I'm not exactly ready to uncover what Allah has concealed for me for so long. They encourage me and others like me to wear hijab and don modest clothes, but they don't make a big fuss about it. Like most good parents and Muslim friends, they don't want me doing anything harmful to my soul. They would not approve of the sins that I battle in private, so I keep them to myself and cry to Allah.If it were to ever become fairly evident that I'm not keeping up with my prayers, my parents would give me gentle reminders, saying, “Keep up your prayers, sugar,” and my friends say, “Let's pray together.” Though my parents didn't memorize the Qur'an themselves, they always encouraged me and my siblings to study and memorize Qur'an. If they found me or my sisters talking to any “male friends,” they swiftly invited the young men over and taught them about Islam, but my parents would never compromise our modesty and dignity by allowing us to walk out the house alone with those men. My parents hoped their children would follow in their footsteps, and they hoped we'd improve on the choices they'd made.I'm steadfast in my belief that adhering to the fundamentals of Islam while respecting other beliefs from afar is the reason I remain Muslim today. I don't feel the need to study Buddhism, Hinduism, or Christianity to get closer to Islam. Islam brings me closer to Islam because that's what submission means, a lesson none of the Muslims who judge me have been able to pass on in their teachings, though it's what they claim to uphold.But they taught me how to obsess about the mundane, about all the things I'm doing incorrectly and therefore prove that my “religiousness” is just a show. They taught me shame. They taught me guilt. They taught me that the eyes of people are more important than the judgment of Allah. They taught me that it's better to take off hijab completely if I can't get everything else right. They taught me that it's better to give up practicing Islam in public if I sin in private. They said, “Don't be a hypocrite.”But what they were really saying was, “Join us, and feel free to disobey Allah without shame.”They taught me that I can wear short shorts, smoke weed, drink liquor, reject hadith, and then point to the hypocrisy of scholars to defend my sin and faulty beliefs.They taught me fear. They taught me that being a good Muslim is difficult. That remaining Muslim isn't as simple as holding on to my fundamental beliefs, praying my five prayers, and striving to obey Allah in my dress and behavior despite my falling short from time to time. They taught me that if I'm sincere, I'll announce my sins amongst friends and online, and make any fleeting doubts about my faith the foundation of my outlook in life. They taught me that a “real Muslim” doesn't hide her sins from others unless she's a religious hypocrite trying to fool the world.If I listened to them, I might have rejected Islam. So I took a break from being around them. I didn't do it because I was judging them. I did it because I feared for my soul.I saw how many youth (and grown men and women) they'd pushed from Islam. I saw how many girls they encouraged to remove their hijab, telling them, “Cover when you're ready, not now!” I saw how many people stopped praying and practicing Islam under their mantra (borrowed from hadith), “Al'amal bi niyaat,” which means actions are dependent on their intentions, and under their other mantra“Al deenu yusr,” which translates to “religion is ease.”They made me feel like I was just going through the motions of prayer to show off. They did everything they could to push me from returning to the prayer rug, even when I wasn't around them. They did everything they could to poke fun of people who looked like me. They did everything they could to praise the “sincerity” and “honesty” of people who looked like them. They did everything they could to paint themselves the victim and me the judgmental aggressor, even when I didn't even open my mouth. They did everything they could to make me feel like a liar when I said, sincerely, that I don't see myself as different from any other Muslim, no matter how they dress. They did everything they could to make me feel like an extremist for believing that I couldn't pick and choose what I wanted to believe in or follow from the Qur'an and authentic hadith.So I left their company and kept them in my prayers.I knew actions are dependent on intentions, and I knew my religion is easy. But they tried to convince me that I could disobey Allah while claiming my heart and intentions were good. They tried to convince me that the ease of Islam was stringent and difficult, and that the path of disobedience was the “balanced, middle path.”Intuitively, I knew they were calling me to Hellfire under the guise of Islam. But my nafs, that weakness in myself, made me inclined to believe that I should follow them and not Qur'an and hadith. So I had to leave them alone.Exploring the depths of my soul brought to light what was happening to me and others like me. But I felt powerless to speak up. I didn't know what to say when they said, “Don't judge me!” as they proceeded to bash and judge everyone else. I didn't know what to say when they said, “Only Allah can judge!” as they proceeded to oppose Allah's judgments themselves.By Allah! I was confounded and confused. I prayed to Allah for strength, guidance, and direction.How did this happen? How did it happen that only the openly sinful had the right to speak without interruption while the rest of us were silenced lest we be called judgmental or extreme? How did it happen that only the defiantly disobedient had the right to patience and good treatment while the rest of us were openly insulted, publicly humiliated, and mercilessly called to account for our wrongs? How did it happen that blogging about open sin and rejecting hadith was heralded as “inspirational” while the mere whisper of “Fear and obey Allah” was denounced as insensitive and “demotivating” to one struggling on the Path?But please don't get me wrong. All is not well in “my crowd” either. Shaytaan is busy stirring up animosity and division amongst us too, telling us to wrinkle our noses at those who don't wear proper hijab. To storm the Facebook pages, YouTube channels, and sites of those who follow the opinion that not all music is haraam. To insist that everyone must follow our sheikh, our scholar, or our school of thought lest they are followers of Shaytaan. To insist that matters of difference of opinion must be treated like clear matters and foundational beliefs. To insist that you must choose a label or a group unless you are not a “real Muslim,” or not Muslim at all. To even insist that it is closer to righteousness to remain silent when someone is doing open wrong, imagining that your wide smile alone will “charm them” back to the right path.So, no, I don't feel comfortable in “my crowd,” or any crowd, truthfully. As I mentioned before, there are many like me. We are outliers, outsiders, passing through Muslim communities of East and West, sometimes in the vicinity of Muslims, sometimes in the vicinity of non-Muslims.When confronted, our stance on religion is waived off as rebellious because we refuse to be pigeonholed into a single group. But despite our feeling of not belonging, we are, generally speaking, not tormented by our “lonely” existence. We live very healthy, dynamic, diverse lives. We've established connections and common ground with many different groups of people, and we don't feel like the judgmental pariahs people paint us to be (or the judgmental pariahs others are often toward us). We've accepted that until a drastic spiritual change happens, we're going to continue to operate in dual or multiple groups. Because no one quite knows what to make of people who want no belonging to any label except that of Muslim or believer in Allah.So if you see me outside (or in the store), I'd appreciate if you leave off labels like Wahhabi and extremist and instead take a moment to get to know me beyond the cloth on my head or veil on my face. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't shout, “Don't judge me!” when you know full well what you're doing is wrong. I'd appreciate it if you would stop saying, “Only Allah can judge!” when all I'm doing is sharing what He's already judged as wrong or right. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't try to silence me as you hide behind the veil of victimhood, enabling you to freely announce and celebrate your faulty beliefs and sins.But if you do choose that path, that path of dishonesty in front of yourself and Allah, no worries. Because I have a new mantra these days, inspired by the short surah titled Al-Kaafiroon (the Disbelievers). No, I could never claim that anyone who says, Laa ilaaha illaAllah is a disbeliever no matter what they think of me, and no matter how far their outward appearance strays from Islam. But the last ayah of this surah resonates with me as I think of all those who call me judgmental (or extreme) because I want Paradise so much that I call others to it whenever I can. The last ayahstates, “Lakum deenukum wa liya deen,” meaning, “For you is your religion, and for me is my religion.”…A simple phrase that holds the power of interconnectedness in spite of our differences. A verse that can empower me to smile at and greet the woman wearing short shorts and no hijab, without fear of judgment. And a simple phrase that represents a perfect faith, empowering me to keep practicing Islam despite my human faults and sins…and despite the Muslims who tell me that, when I get confused and weak, it is Islam that is in need of fixing, not me.

The Untold Story: My Journey Of Faith

I would like to talk about my 'Born Buddhism' background. A story that remains untold to the public. As it might be sensitive and provoking to our non believer's feelings.
My father went to India and finished his studies in Management course. At the same time he had learnt a lot Buddhism teachings from the local Buddhist, which is a turning point in his life. After few years he brought along Buddhism teachings back to Malaysia and spread the message of Buddhism, my grandfather and grandmother was Chinese Folks Religions followers, or I may say they were worshiping casual China deities.

It's very common for Chinese Buddhist to worship other deities than Buddha, there is no border line among Buddhism, Taoism and Confucianism. As quoted in wikipedia:

China has long been a cradle and host to a variety of the most enduring religio-philosophical traditions of the world. Confucianism and Taoism, plus Buddhism, constitute the "three teachings", philosophical frameworks which historically have had a significant role in shaping Chinese culture.[1][2] Elements of these three belief systems are often incorporated into the traditional folk religions.[3] Chinese religions are family-oriented and do not demand exclusive adherence, allowing the practice or belief of several at the same time.

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion_in_China 

For many years I had worshiped deities, I have a very strong belief that God is watching me. Something didn't feel right, there must be certain part about Creator that I had overlooked. I was looking for the God who creates everything instead of having 'inner faith', 'All you should do is just believe', 'get blessing from your ancestor's gods'.

Many people thought that I have very poor knowledge about Buddhism and Chinese religions therefore I may "slipped" into Islam. The fact is I don't confront with other religion's followers, I understand their feelings towards deities and there's nothing to debate about. What these people never know is that I was visiting temples during every weekend, sometimes I drove alone to the temple and seeking for the answers.

Until one day, I have learnt the TRUE teachings of Buddhism. The meaning of True teachings is we put aside every Confucianism, Taoism, folk religions and traditional belief. The so called 'three teachings".

To prove that I'm not telling lies, this is what I quoted from Buddhism website:

Question:
Was the Buddha a god?

Answer:

No, he was not. He did not claim that he was a god, the child of a god or even the messenger from a god. He was a human being who perfected himself and taught that if we followed his example, we could perfect ourselves also.

 http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/qanda01.htm

That's another long story if we ask why Buddhist worships Buddha. The true teachings of Buddhist never worship Buddha, and he is not a "God". The real situation in Malaysia is different, Buddha is one of the "God" that being worshiped by the "Three Teachings" Chinese believer.

I was thinking that since Buddha never claimed that he is a god, then why are we worshiping his idolatry? This was a tough question that made me rethink about the meaning of life, god and religions. Therefore I had become an Atheist, Free Thinker.

"All you have to do is just believe, no one should ask more than that."
That's what people may react if I had shown my doubts about Chinese religions.

"We should be appreciating our ancestor's faith and traditions, no one should leave behind it."

For another few years of being Atheist, I can’t find the inner peace and answer. As long as there were anyone who trying to claim god is human, or son of god. I would just leave and say “I’m sorry but I prefer to be freethinker.”

However I have found this internet article that open my eyes, the fundamental knowledge of Islam is Five pillars of Islam, and the First Pillar is Shahada:

http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/193/

The Shahada is the Muslim profession of faith and the first of the ‘Five Pillars’ of Islam. The word shahada in Arabic means ‘testimony.’ The shahadais to testify to two things:

(a) Nothing deserves worship except God (Allah).

(b) Muhammad is the Messenger of God (Allah).

“Alright, I would reject the teachings if this website telling me that god is in human form” I was thinking while scrolling down…

(a) Nothing deserves worship except God (Allah).

The first part of this testimony states that God has the exclusive right to be worshipped inwardly and outwardly, by one’s heart and limbs. In Islamic doctrine, not only can no one be worshipped apart from Him, absolutely no one else can be worshipped along with Him. He has no partners or associates in worship. Worship, in its comprehensive sense and all its aspects, is for Him alone. God’s right to be worshipped is the essential meaning of Islam’s testimony of faith: Lā ‘ilāha ‘illā Allāh. A person becomes Muslim by testifying to the divine right to worship. It is the crux of Islamic belief in God, even all of Islam. It is considered the central message of all prophets and messengers sent by God - the message of Abraham, Isaac, Ishmael, Moses, the Hebrew prophets, Jesus, and Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon them.

“Ohh wait??? I thought Muhammad is god?” I was so shocked and continue reading the following statement from website.

(b) Muhammad is the Messenger of God (Allah).

Muhammad was born in Mecca in Arabia in the year 570 CE. His ancestry goes back to Ishmael, a son of Prophet Abraham. The second part of the confession of faith asserts that he is not only a prophet but also a messenger of God, a higher role also played by Moses and Jesus before him. Like all prophets before him, he was a human being, but chosen by God to convey His message to all humanity rather than one tribe or nation from among the many that exist. For Muslims, Muhammad brought the last and final revelation. In accepting Muhammad as the "last of the prophets," they believe that his prophecy confirms and completes all of the revealed messages, beginning with that of Adam. In addition, Muhammad serves as the preeminent role model through his life example. The believer’s effort to follow Muhammad’s example reflects the emphasis of Islam on practice and action.

I was a devoted Chinese religion follower, as you can see in the picture.
The moment I had realized that Allah in Islam isn’t in any creature’s form, He is the Creator and not being created.. While prophet Muhammad is only last messenger from God, and the same goes to prophets before him including Jesus.

I was crying alone in the room during reading the Internet article in my bedroom. Reciting Shahada again and again in front of my notebook. Until I have embraced Islam in the same year.

Whenever Buddhist or any other religion followers come to me and asking why would I embrace such religion (i.e. Islam).

I just smile and silent.