Stephen Kozeniewski's Blog, page 41
December 14, 2016
Holiday Gift-Giving Guides #3 and #4: THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO and BRAVE NEW GIRLS
December 12, 2016
Holiday Gift-Giving Guides #1 and #2: BRAINEATER JONES and AT HELL'S GATES
Hey, everybody! Last year I made a couple of totally self-serving last-minute gift-giving guides for the holidays season. Still, if you're stuck on what to buy for somebody, they could actually help. I have (at least) two more to make this year, but first I'm going to run through the six I've already made, and since it's already December 12 (!) we're going to double them up for the next week. Enjoy!
Best for:
- mystery fans
- humor fans
- horror fans
- Humphrey Bogart fans
Available now at Amazon!
Best for:
- veterans
- police officers
- first responders
Volume I
Volume II
Volume III
Best for:
- mystery fans
- humor fans
- horror fans
- Humphrey Bogart fans
Available now at Amazon!
Best for:
- veterans
- police officers
- first responders
Volume I
Volume II
Volume III
December 9, 2016
HUNTER OF THE DEAD Video Review
Hey all!
I don't usually toot my own horn about reviews here on the blog. I just keep a running tab here. Every once in a while, though, a review is so mind-boggling or flattering that I just have to share. And earlier this week I was absolutely floored when I clicked on a seventeen minute YouTube video which I assumed was one of those porno come-ons where they just happen to include your book cover at the beginning so people will click on it. Instead, though, it turned out to be a thorough exegesis by reviewer and Teslan super-fan Erik Smith!
So if you liked HUNTER OF THE DEAD even a little book, I'm thinking you'll be tickled pink by Erik's review. Check it out! Click like! Subscribe! All that good stuff we should do for people we support.
I don't usually toot my own horn about reviews here on the blog. I just keep a running tab here. Every once in a while, though, a review is so mind-boggling or flattering that I just have to share. And earlier this week I was absolutely floored when I clicked on a seventeen minute YouTube video which I assumed was one of those porno come-ons where they just happen to include your book cover at the beginning so people will click on it. Instead, though, it turned out to be a thorough exegesis by reviewer and Teslan super-fan Erik Smith!
So if you liked HUNTER OF THE DEAD even a little book, I'm thinking you'll be tickled pink by Erik's review. Check it out! Click like! Subscribe! All that good stuff we should do for people we support.
December 7, 2016
NaNo Update
Hey kids!
Sorry I've been out of pocket for almost the last two weeks. I'm not really sure what happened. I guess I used to compose blogposts at work and things have been getting hectic.
So it probably seems a little late now, but here's a little check-in on my NaNoWriMo this year. I did, indeed, win, as I have every year since I started in 2009. For those of you interested in my statistics, here they are:
And in graphic form:
Now for a brief analysis as I do every year as well. As you can see, I started the month just barely squeaking by. I normally like to get a solid buffer in the first few days, ideally after midnight Halloween night when possible. That didn't happen this year. Around November 5 I did finally begin logging a little extra each day. The biggest spike came on November 18, the first Friday for some reason that I really managed to sit down and pound out a couple of writing sessions. I had intended to do that every day of every weekend before that, but as you can see I couldn't get it to really click until the 18th. I stayed way over expectation up until I hit 48,500 words on the 24th. That was the weekend I was at Chessiecon in Baltimore, and then went home to Philadelphia the Monday and Tuesday after. So Friday the 25th I did just a few hundred words before heading to the con, then it's a flat line for the con, where I wrote nothing. I pounded out a few hundred words when I got home Tuesday, then finished the project Tuesday evening, with one day to spare. So, not exactly a banner NaNo, but a win's a win.
Since NaNo loosened up their strictures and allowed that 50,000 words of writing counts as a win even if it's on multiple projects, I've been enjoying the process a little more. Do you ever get sick of working on that one project and start another? There used to be no room for that in NaNo. Now that there is, it's a bit freeing.
So this year I was working on SLASHVIVOR! which is a contracted manuscript I owe to Sinister Grin Press in February. I somehow suckered our good friend Stevie Kopas into collaborating with me. But I knew that since we were batting it back and forth, there was no way I was going to get 50,000 words done on it in a month. I did get a solid 15-20,000 done on it, and we are so close to the finish line I can taste it.
My backup manuscript this year was the sequel to THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO, tentatively titled NOTES FROM THE UNDEAD. I've now worked on NFtU for three solid NaNos: 2012, 2014, and 2016. I've already winnowed out two short stories from this, "The Man With Four Scars" which appeared in AT HELL'S GATES II, and "The New Dark Ages" which appeared in FAT ZOMBIE. I also did something this year I've never done before: edited out large chunks of the text as I went. More than once I wrote a solid thousand words, chucked it into my tally document, and started over. You're not supposed to edit during NaNo, but, surprisingly, I found that having that word count as a goal meant that major editing, as in, cutting out a huge chunk and starting over as I described, was actually beneficial.
Since I've worked on NFtU for three solid NaNos, you'd think it would be a monster of a document, and even bearing in mind how much I've sliced out, it still is. And it's still not quite complete yet. I'm thinking it'll take at least another thousand words to finish up one chapter I left hanging. And then there's the question of whether there's enough ligament holding the story together, or whether I'll have to flesh (ha!) some of that out as well.
I have a lot of work ahead of me. First my author edit, which I should put off for at least a month or six weeks, assuming I even do it then, then I'll probably pass it to my good friend Mike Lerman, who beta read TGA and who I've always intended to tap for this project as well, belated though it may be.
I don't know if the story is going to be published at its current length (over 125,000 words even before the beefing up I just described.) TGA was a solid 119,000 words, which is on the longish end of novels. I'd like to cut at least ten thousand words out of NFtU, but I'm not sure there's enough fat to trim that much out organically in the editing process. It may just turn out to be a doorstop of a book. Time shall tell.
How about you? How did your NaNo go this year?
Sorry I've been out of pocket for almost the last two weeks. I'm not really sure what happened. I guess I used to compose blogposts at work and things have been getting hectic.
So it probably seems a little late now, but here's a little check-in on my NaNoWriMo this year. I did, indeed, win, as I have every year since I started in 2009. For those of you interested in my statistics, here they are:
And in graphic form:
Now for a brief analysis as I do every year as well. As you can see, I started the month just barely squeaking by. I normally like to get a solid buffer in the first few days, ideally after midnight Halloween night when possible. That didn't happen this year. Around November 5 I did finally begin logging a little extra each day. The biggest spike came on November 18, the first Friday for some reason that I really managed to sit down and pound out a couple of writing sessions. I had intended to do that every day of every weekend before that, but as you can see I couldn't get it to really click until the 18th. I stayed way over expectation up until I hit 48,500 words on the 24th. That was the weekend I was at Chessiecon in Baltimore, and then went home to Philadelphia the Monday and Tuesday after. So Friday the 25th I did just a few hundred words before heading to the con, then it's a flat line for the con, where I wrote nothing. I pounded out a few hundred words when I got home Tuesday, then finished the project Tuesday evening, with one day to spare. So, not exactly a banner NaNo, but a win's a win.
Since NaNo loosened up their strictures and allowed that 50,000 words of writing counts as a win even if it's on multiple projects, I've been enjoying the process a little more. Do you ever get sick of working on that one project and start another? There used to be no room for that in NaNo. Now that there is, it's a bit freeing.
So this year I was working on SLASHVIVOR! which is a contracted manuscript I owe to Sinister Grin Press in February. I somehow suckered our good friend Stevie Kopas into collaborating with me. But I knew that since we were batting it back and forth, there was no way I was going to get 50,000 words done on it in a month. I did get a solid 15-20,000 done on it, and we are so close to the finish line I can taste it.
My backup manuscript this year was the sequel to THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO, tentatively titled NOTES FROM THE UNDEAD. I've now worked on NFtU for three solid NaNos: 2012, 2014, and 2016. I've already winnowed out two short stories from this, "The Man With Four Scars" which appeared in AT HELL'S GATES II, and "The New Dark Ages" which appeared in FAT ZOMBIE. I also did something this year I've never done before: edited out large chunks of the text as I went. More than once I wrote a solid thousand words, chucked it into my tally document, and started over. You're not supposed to edit during NaNo, but, surprisingly, I found that having that word count as a goal meant that major editing, as in, cutting out a huge chunk and starting over as I described, was actually beneficial.
Since I've worked on NFtU for three solid NaNos, you'd think it would be a monster of a document, and even bearing in mind how much I've sliced out, it still is. And it's still not quite complete yet. I'm thinking it'll take at least another thousand words to finish up one chapter I left hanging. And then there's the question of whether there's enough ligament holding the story together, or whether I'll have to flesh (ha!) some of that out as well.
I have a lot of work ahead of me. First my author edit, which I should put off for at least a month or six weeks, assuming I even do it then, then I'll probably pass it to my good friend Mike Lerman, who beta read TGA and who I've always intended to tap for this project as well, belated though it may be.
I don't know if the story is going to be published at its current length (over 125,000 words even before the beefing up I just described.) TGA was a solid 119,000 words, which is on the longish end of novels. I'd like to cut at least ten thousand words out of NFtU, but I'm not sure there's enough fat to trim that much out organically in the editing process. It may just turn out to be a doorstop of a book. Time shall tell.
How about you? How did your NaNo go this year?
November 25, 2016
Chessiecon 2016 or Bust!
Hey, everybody! If you live in the Baltimore, MD, area you should definitely swing by Chessiecon at the North Baltimore Plaza Hotel (2004 Greenspring Dr., Lutherville-Timonium, MD, 21093) sometime this weekend (25-27 November, 2016.) I'll be a guest for the second year in a row, and I have to say that this is one of my absolute favorite cons.
As a guest I will not be manning a vendors table as I often do at cons. However, you'll still be able to see me at one of the eleven panels and appearances I'll be conducting. If you want to buy a book, I will be available after panels and during the group signing Saturday evening. If you're really having trouble finding me, feel free to tweet me and I'll come meet you for signing, buying, bone collecting, whatever. As usual, fellow Red Adept Publishing author Mary Fan will also be a con guest. My finalized panel schedule is as follows. (M) indicates I'll be the moderator.
Friday Time Title Location 3:00 PM Gadgets in Fiction Greenspring 1 5:30 PM The Other Side of Over the Top: Writing Your Turkey Award Entry (M) Greenspring 1
Saturday Time Title Location 10:00 AM Literary Agents and Query Letters: What, How, and Why Greenspring 3-5 11:15 AM Gruesome Deaths: GRRM vs. GRIMM Greenspring 1 12:30 PM Reading: HUNTER OF THE DEAD Chesapeake 1-2 1:45 PM Turkey Awards Panel Greenspring 3-5 4:15 PM Character Building: Quirks, Hobbies, and Passions Greenspring 3-5 6:45 PM Group Signing Atrium 9:15 PM What's My Line Greenspring 1
Sunday Time Title Location 10:00 AM The Martian: Repopularizing the Robinsonade (M) Greenspring 2 11:15 AM Protagonists With Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Greenspring 2
Friday
3:00 PM - 4:00 PM "Gadgets in Fiction"
It's easy to get too passionate about your faster-than-light drive or the workings of your hand-held ray gun, but your audience doesn't want a textbook. How do you share your geeky idea without straying into too much? When does over-reliance on gadgetry start to take away from the plot and characterization?
Moderator: Steven R. SouthardPanelists: Nicole "Nickie" Jamison, Steve Kozeniewski, Jessica Moran, Martin WilseyLocation: Greenspring 1
5:30 PM - 6:30 PM "The Other Side of Over the Top: Writing Your Turkey Award Entry"
Previous winners and judges give advice on how to make your bad writing the best kind of bad it can be. The deadline for entries is 9pm, so you still have time to write yours after the panel, or you can start planning for next year!
Moderator: Steve KozeniewskiPanelists: Beth Chandler, Luke Katafiasz, Eileen Martz, Elizabeth SchechterLocation: Greenspring 1
Saturday
10:00 AM - 11:00 AM "Literary Agents and Query Letters: What, How, and Why"
One of the toughest parts about being a writer is selling your work before it's even published. For those aiming to publish traditionally, the first step after polishing your novel is to query literary agents - the gatekeepers to the major publishers. But just what does an agent do? How do you approach them? And how do you capture the spirit of your book in a few short paragraphs? This panel will discuss the what, how, and why of agents and query letters.
Moderator: Mary FanPanelists: Danielle Ackley-McPhail, Steve Kozeniewski, Jessica Moran, Kelly SzparaLocation: Greenspring 3-5
11:15 AM - 12:15 PM "Gruesome Deaths: GRRM vs. GRIMM"
We've all heard the comments and jokes about how many deaths there are in Game of Thrones, but how does George R.R. Martin really stack up against the classics? Are his deaths more numerous or more ghastly than those in the Grimm fairy tales? Which other authors have a similar reputation? Come discuss various creative nasty ways to die in a story!
Moderator: D.H. AirePanelists: Steve Kozeniewski, Meg Nicholas, Jay Smith, Martin WilseyLocation: Greenspring 1
12:30 PM - 01:00 PM Reading: Steve Kozeniewski
Stephen will be reading an excerpt from his latest release, Hunter of the Dead, a hardcore horror novel about a young Chinese farmgirl coming to grips with suddenly being the most powerful vampire in the world. Cemetery Dance Magazine said Hunter of the Dead is "At times mesmerizing and breathtaking...a complex tapestry of blood and violence."
Location: Chesapeake 1-2
1:45 PM - 2:45 PM "Turkey Awards Panel"
Writers were asked to send in the best terrible paragraph they could write, as the beginning of the best terrible science fiction novel you (n)ever read. Finalist entries will be presented, and judged with humor and harshness. The panelists will decide who gets this year's dubious prizes!
Moderator: Don SakersPanelists: Lee Budar-Danoff, Harrison Demchick, Steve Kozeniewski, Elizabeth SchechterLocation: Greenspring 3-5
4:15 PM - 5:00 PM "Character Building: Quirks, Hobbies and Passions"
Characters feel more whole when they're given something that they do outside of the story, such as hobbies, passions, and favorite foods or media. Talk about memorable characters that have jumped off the page. Discuss what details make a character real.
Moderator: Cathy HirdPanelists: Jamaila Brinkley, C.S. Friedman, Steve Kozeniewski, TJ PerkinsLocation: Greenspring 3-5
6:45 PM - 8:00 PM Group Book / Art / CD Signing
Authors, artists, and musicians gather in one room for signing/book-selling/chatting with fans.
Participants: Danielle Ackley-McPhail, D.H. Aire, Charles Butler, Margaret Carter, Leslie Roy Carter, Vonnie Winslow Crist, Mary Fan, C.S. Friedman, J.L. Gribble, Elektra Hammond, Kim Headlee, Andrew Hiller, Heather Rose Jones, Steve Kozeniewski, Tabitha Ladin, Katrina Messenger, Andi O'Connor, TJ Perkins, Sarah Pinsker, Don Sakers, Elizabeth Schechter, Jay Smith, Michelle D. Sonnier, Steven R. Southard, Martin WilseyLocation: Atrium
9:15 PM - 10:15 PM "What's My Line?"
Contestants roleplay SF/F characters with unusual occupations; panelists ask questions to try to figure out who they are/what they do.
Panelists: D.H. Aire, Carl Cipra, J.L. Gribble, Jeff Gritman, Cristin Kist, Steve Kozeniewski, Batya WittenbergLocation: Greenspring 1
Sunday
10:00 AM - 11:00 AM "The Martian -- Repopularizing the Robinsonade"
What's so intriguing and enduring about the "marooned on an island (or planet)" story? Why is the rescue of one person so satisfying even at great cost and risk to others?
Moderator: Steve KozeniewskiPanelists: D.H. Aire, Jessica Moran, Jay Smith, Martin WilseyLocation: Greenspring 2
11:15 AM - 12:15 PM "Protagonists With Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder"
First recognized among soldiers, 'Shell-shock' and 'Battle Fatigue' has become PTSD, and the awareness of it has gone mainstream. Has the SF/F genre kept up with science in this case? This panel examines several stories which feature characters who have some emotional-trauma-causing incident in their background, how the story progresses as the character(s) deal with PTSD (or not), and how that particular viewpoint changes the sympathy factor of the character, and affects the story line itself.
Moderator: Batya WittenbergPanelists: Steve Kozeniewski, Jessica Moran, Jay Smith, Pam SmithLocation: Greenspring 2
As a guest I will not be manning a vendors table as I often do at cons. However, you'll still be able to see me at one of the eleven panels and appearances I'll be conducting. If you want to buy a book, I will be available after panels and during the group signing Saturday evening. If you're really having trouble finding me, feel free to tweet me and I'll come meet you for signing, buying, bone collecting, whatever. As usual, fellow Red Adept Publishing author Mary Fan will also be a con guest. My finalized panel schedule is as follows. (M) indicates I'll be the moderator.
Friday Time Title Location 3:00 PM Gadgets in Fiction Greenspring 1 5:30 PM The Other Side of Over the Top: Writing Your Turkey Award Entry (M) Greenspring 1
Saturday Time Title Location 10:00 AM Literary Agents and Query Letters: What, How, and Why Greenspring 3-5 11:15 AM Gruesome Deaths: GRRM vs. GRIMM Greenspring 1 12:30 PM Reading: HUNTER OF THE DEAD Chesapeake 1-2 1:45 PM Turkey Awards Panel Greenspring 3-5 4:15 PM Character Building: Quirks, Hobbies, and Passions Greenspring 3-5 6:45 PM Group Signing Atrium 9:15 PM What's My Line Greenspring 1
Sunday Time Title Location 10:00 AM The Martian: Repopularizing the Robinsonade (M) Greenspring 2 11:15 AM Protagonists With Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Greenspring 2
Friday
3:00 PM - 4:00 PM "Gadgets in Fiction"
It's easy to get too passionate about your faster-than-light drive or the workings of your hand-held ray gun, but your audience doesn't want a textbook. How do you share your geeky idea without straying into too much? When does over-reliance on gadgetry start to take away from the plot and characterization?
Moderator: Steven R. SouthardPanelists: Nicole "Nickie" Jamison, Steve Kozeniewski, Jessica Moran, Martin WilseyLocation: Greenspring 1
5:30 PM - 6:30 PM "The Other Side of Over the Top: Writing Your Turkey Award Entry"
Previous winners and judges give advice on how to make your bad writing the best kind of bad it can be. The deadline for entries is 9pm, so you still have time to write yours after the panel, or you can start planning for next year!
Moderator: Steve KozeniewskiPanelists: Beth Chandler, Luke Katafiasz, Eileen Martz, Elizabeth SchechterLocation: Greenspring 1
Saturday
10:00 AM - 11:00 AM "Literary Agents and Query Letters: What, How, and Why"
One of the toughest parts about being a writer is selling your work before it's even published. For those aiming to publish traditionally, the first step after polishing your novel is to query literary agents - the gatekeepers to the major publishers. But just what does an agent do? How do you approach them? And how do you capture the spirit of your book in a few short paragraphs? This panel will discuss the what, how, and why of agents and query letters.
Moderator: Mary FanPanelists: Danielle Ackley-McPhail, Steve Kozeniewski, Jessica Moran, Kelly SzparaLocation: Greenspring 3-5
11:15 AM - 12:15 PM "Gruesome Deaths: GRRM vs. GRIMM"
We've all heard the comments and jokes about how many deaths there are in Game of Thrones, but how does George R.R. Martin really stack up against the classics? Are his deaths more numerous or more ghastly than those in the Grimm fairy tales? Which other authors have a similar reputation? Come discuss various creative nasty ways to die in a story!
Moderator: D.H. AirePanelists: Steve Kozeniewski, Meg Nicholas, Jay Smith, Martin WilseyLocation: Greenspring 1
12:30 PM - 01:00 PM Reading: Steve Kozeniewski
Stephen will be reading an excerpt from his latest release, Hunter of the Dead, a hardcore horror novel about a young Chinese farmgirl coming to grips with suddenly being the most powerful vampire in the world. Cemetery Dance Magazine said Hunter of the Dead is "At times mesmerizing and breathtaking...a complex tapestry of blood and violence."
Location: Chesapeake 1-2
1:45 PM - 2:45 PM "Turkey Awards Panel"
Writers were asked to send in the best terrible paragraph they could write, as the beginning of the best terrible science fiction novel you (n)ever read. Finalist entries will be presented, and judged with humor and harshness. The panelists will decide who gets this year's dubious prizes!
Moderator: Don SakersPanelists: Lee Budar-Danoff, Harrison Demchick, Steve Kozeniewski, Elizabeth SchechterLocation: Greenspring 3-5
4:15 PM - 5:00 PM "Character Building: Quirks, Hobbies and Passions"
Characters feel more whole when they're given something that they do outside of the story, such as hobbies, passions, and favorite foods or media. Talk about memorable characters that have jumped off the page. Discuss what details make a character real.
Moderator: Cathy HirdPanelists: Jamaila Brinkley, C.S. Friedman, Steve Kozeniewski, TJ PerkinsLocation: Greenspring 3-5
6:45 PM - 8:00 PM Group Book / Art / CD Signing
Authors, artists, and musicians gather in one room for signing/book-selling/chatting with fans.
Participants: Danielle Ackley-McPhail, D.H. Aire, Charles Butler, Margaret Carter, Leslie Roy Carter, Vonnie Winslow Crist, Mary Fan, C.S. Friedman, J.L. Gribble, Elektra Hammond, Kim Headlee, Andrew Hiller, Heather Rose Jones, Steve Kozeniewski, Tabitha Ladin, Katrina Messenger, Andi O'Connor, TJ Perkins, Sarah Pinsker, Don Sakers, Elizabeth Schechter, Jay Smith, Michelle D. Sonnier, Steven R. Southard, Martin WilseyLocation: Atrium
9:15 PM - 10:15 PM "What's My Line?"
Contestants roleplay SF/F characters with unusual occupations; panelists ask questions to try to figure out who they are/what they do.
Panelists: D.H. Aire, Carl Cipra, J.L. Gribble, Jeff Gritman, Cristin Kist, Steve Kozeniewski, Batya WittenbergLocation: Greenspring 1
Sunday
10:00 AM - 11:00 AM "The Martian -- Repopularizing the Robinsonade"
What's so intriguing and enduring about the "marooned on an island (or planet)" story? Why is the rescue of one person so satisfying even at great cost and risk to others?
Moderator: Steve KozeniewskiPanelists: D.H. Aire, Jessica Moran, Jay Smith, Martin WilseyLocation: Greenspring 2
11:15 AM - 12:15 PM "Protagonists With Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder"
First recognized among soldiers, 'Shell-shock' and 'Battle Fatigue' has become PTSD, and the awareness of it has gone mainstream. Has the SF/F genre kept up with science in this case? This panel examines several stories which feature characters who have some emotional-trauma-causing incident in their background, how the story progresses as the character(s) deal with PTSD (or not), and how that particular viewpoint changes the sympathy factor of the character, and affects the story line itself.
Moderator: Batya WittenbergPanelists: Steve Kozeniewski, Jessica Moran, Jay Smith, Pam SmithLocation: Greenspring 2
November 21, 2016
A Conversation Which Must Have Taken Place Offscreen During "Star Trek: Generations"
Kirk: So you say we can go back to any time and place?
Picard: Yes. We're going back to ten minutes before Soran blows up the star.
Kirk: Wait, wait. Hang on. We can go anywhere in time and space. Why don't we go back to before Soran blew up any of the stars? Well, hell, I mean, we could go back to before he entered the Nexus in the first place. Or, I don't know, abort him as a baby.
Picard: No, no. Then we're messing with history.
Kirk: We're already messing with history. If all we do is save this one star, that's millions of people who will live who didn't before. That's going to change billions of things about history.
Picard: Look, we're going to ten minutes before Soran blows up the star, and that's final.
Kirk: All right, all right. So what's the plan once we get there?
Picard: Well, this time there will be two of us.
Kirk: Right. So the plan is...
Picard: Well, I don't really have a plan.
Kirk: Okay, so we're just going to double team this guy and hope everything pans out. Can we get some other guys to help?
Picard: No. No other help.
Kirk: Look, we can go anywhere in time and space, we could go an hour before shit starts, get some guys...
Picard: No. No other guys.
Kirk: Can we have guns at least?
Picard: No. Look. We're going back to ten minutes before the star blows up. Just you and me. We're going to double team him with no plan, and everything will be fine.
Kirk: Look, is there going to be another Enterprise in the future?
Picard: Presumably yes.
Kirk: I know I said I wouldn't question the captain of the Enterprise, but do you think we could ask him for his thoughts?
Picard: Or "her."
Kirk: Wow, you're allowed to have lady captains in the future?
Picard: Yes. We're going back to ten minutes before Soran blows up the star.
Kirk: Wait, wait. Hang on. We can go anywhere in time and space. Why don't we go back to before Soran blew up any of the stars? Well, hell, I mean, we could go back to before he entered the Nexus in the first place. Or, I don't know, abort him as a baby.
Picard: No, no. Then we're messing with history.
Kirk: We're already messing with history. If all we do is save this one star, that's millions of people who will live who didn't before. That's going to change billions of things about history.
Picard: Look, we're going to ten minutes before Soran blows up the star, and that's final.
Kirk: All right, all right. So what's the plan once we get there?
Picard: Well, this time there will be two of us.
Kirk: Right. So the plan is...
Picard: Well, I don't really have a plan.
Kirk: Okay, so we're just going to double team this guy and hope everything pans out. Can we get some other guys to help?
Picard: No. No other help.
Kirk: Look, we can go anywhere in time and space, we could go an hour before shit starts, get some guys...
Picard: No. No other guys.
Kirk: Can we have guns at least?
Picard: No. Look. We're going back to ten minutes before the star blows up. Just you and me. We're going to double team him with no plan, and everything will be fine.
Kirk: Look, is there going to be another Enterprise in the future?
Picard: Presumably yes.
Kirk: I know I said I wouldn't question the captain of the Enterprise, but do you think we could ask him for his thoughts?
Picard: Or "her."
Kirk: Wow, you're allowed to have lady captains in the future?
November 18, 2016
The 2016 This is Horror Awards
Hey kids!
Nominations are open for the 2016 This is Horror Awards. Rules are here.
It just so happens that HUNTER OF THE DEAD is eligible.
Now, I can't nominate any of my own work, so if you feel it's deserving I'd be much obliged if you'd take a minute to e-mail the good folks at This is Horror and nominate HUNTER OF THE DEAD for Best Novel.
If you're interested in some of my thoughts about how to fill out the rest of your ballot (there are two choices available in each category) here are some of the other works I personally am nominating, or else cannot because of my own involvement:
Novel of the Year:
EVE BRENNER, ZOMBIE EXPERIMENT by A. Giacomi
LIFE SENTENCE by Lily Luchesi
CTHULHU ARMAGEDDON by C.T. Phipps
Short Story Collection of the Year:
NEVER SAY DIE by Stevie Kopas
Anthology of the Year:
MAN BEHIND THE MASK by David Owain Hughes
AND THE WORLD WILL BURN by Kindra Sowder
Fiction Magazine of the Year:
Cemetery Dance
Apex
Publisher of the Year:
Sinister Grin Press
Severed Press
Fiction Podcast of the Year:
The Horror Show With Brian Keene
Arm Cast Podcast
Nominations are open for the 2016 This is Horror Awards. Rules are here.
It just so happens that HUNTER OF THE DEAD is eligible.
Now, I can't nominate any of my own work, so if you feel it's deserving I'd be much obliged if you'd take a minute to e-mail the good folks at This is Horror and nominate HUNTER OF THE DEAD for Best Novel.
If you're interested in some of my thoughts about how to fill out the rest of your ballot (there are two choices available in each category) here are some of the other works I personally am nominating, or else cannot because of my own involvement:
Novel of the Year:
EVE BRENNER, ZOMBIE EXPERIMENT by A. Giacomi
LIFE SENTENCE by Lily Luchesi
CTHULHU ARMAGEDDON by C.T. Phipps
Short Story Collection of the Year:
NEVER SAY DIE by Stevie Kopas
Anthology of the Year:
MAN BEHIND THE MASK by David Owain Hughes
AND THE WORLD WILL BURN by Kindra Sowder
Fiction Magazine of the Year:
Cemetery Dance
Apex
Publisher of the Year:
Sinister Grin Press
Severed Press
Fiction Podcast of the Year:
The Horror Show With Brian Keene
Arm Cast Podcast
November 16, 2016
Review: Shin Godzilla
***This review was featured on the most recent episode of The Horror Show with Brian Keene. I'm posting the script I read from here. If it differs slightly from the final recorded product...welcome to fucking voice work.***
Hey everybody, this is Stephen Kozeniewski, author of HUNTER OF THE DEAD amongst other titles. Today I'm going to be reviewing "Shin Godzilla" for The Horror Show. And the reason I'm doing this is so that Brian can start calling me his Jimmy Olsen instead of his Jason Todd.
First things first, this is one of if not the best Godzilla movie ever made. I think it might be the best, but it's hard to tell since I've only seen it once. It's definitely in the top tier with classics like the original "Godzilla: King of the Monsters," "Final Wars," "Godzilla 2000," and so forth. The reason I think it may even better than those is because I have never so much believed that this was a real monster destroying a real city. The combination of special effects, practical effects, and CGI was quite simply astonishing. In addition, I never recall even as a child being scared of a Kaiju movie. "Shin Godzilla," however, had some genuinely chilling moments. By focusing on the very real human cost that such a monster would actually cause, "Shin Godzilla" made a compelling case for Godzilla as straight-up, non-ironic horror.
That being said, there is one big drawback to this movie. If you hate subtitles, do not see "Shin Godzilla," or wait until a dubbed version comes out. This is very much a satire of Japanese governmental bureaucracy. So every time a new location or character is introduced, a chyron appears stating the name of the location or the title of the character, such as "Deputy Executive Assistant to the Prime Minister." That means that there are many scenes with three subtitles when there's a new location, a new character, and someone is speaking. It's physically impossible to read that fast, and even when there aren't three subtitles on the screen at once, the dialogue comes very fast and very heavy.
This movie is unapologetically Japanese in its outlook. Americans are largely portrayed as well-meaning buffoons, and the main American character, the ambassador's daughter is, um, not Japanese cinema's greatest portrayal of an American. The movie takes a lot of digs at the Japanese government, which is funny enough but I assume it would be much funnier for a Japanese audience. And its underlying message is about the importance of teamwork and community. The film seems to be saying, yes, bureaucracy is bad, but it's a natural outgrowth of democracy, and the important thing is when the chips are down the Japanese people come together, everyone does their duty, and they pull through together. There's a touching scene where a janitor simply cleans up the wreckage and later a caterer brings a bowl of noodles to the main characters, and it seems to be saying no matter who you are, your contribution is important. The original Godzilla was pretty explicitly a metaphor for the atomic bombs, and this one is, too, though it also carries shades of the more recent disaster in Fukushima, and that was one of the times that we saw the Japanese people coming together and making individual sacrifices for the greater good. So don't expect an American blockbuster where a lone cowboy saves the day like Will Smith blowing up the alien mothership. Instead this is a story of a community coming together.
Overall, I give "Shin Godzilla" more than infinity stars.
Hey everybody, this is Stephen Kozeniewski, author of HUNTER OF THE DEAD amongst other titles. Today I'm going to be reviewing "Shin Godzilla" for The Horror Show. And the reason I'm doing this is so that Brian can start calling me his Jimmy Olsen instead of his Jason Todd.
First things first, this is one of if not the best Godzilla movie ever made. I think it might be the best, but it's hard to tell since I've only seen it once. It's definitely in the top tier with classics like the original "Godzilla: King of the Monsters," "Final Wars," "Godzilla 2000," and so forth. The reason I think it may even better than those is because I have never so much believed that this was a real monster destroying a real city. The combination of special effects, practical effects, and CGI was quite simply astonishing. In addition, I never recall even as a child being scared of a Kaiju movie. "Shin Godzilla," however, had some genuinely chilling moments. By focusing on the very real human cost that such a monster would actually cause, "Shin Godzilla" made a compelling case for Godzilla as straight-up, non-ironic horror.
That being said, there is one big drawback to this movie. If you hate subtitles, do not see "Shin Godzilla," or wait until a dubbed version comes out. This is very much a satire of Japanese governmental bureaucracy. So every time a new location or character is introduced, a chyron appears stating the name of the location or the title of the character, such as "Deputy Executive Assistant to the Prime Minister." That means that there are many scenes with three subtitles when there's a new location, a new character, and someone is speaking. It's physically impossible to read that fast, and even when there aren't three subtitles on the screen at once, the dialogue comes very fast and very heavy.
This movie is unapologetically Japanese in its outlook. Americans are largely portrayed as well-meaning buffoons, and the main American character, the ambassador's daughter is, um, not Japanese cinema's greatest portrayal of an American. The movie takes a lot of digs at the Japanese government, which is funny enough but I assume it would be much funnier for a Japanese audience. And its underlying message is about the importance of teamwork and community. The film seems to be saying, yes, bureaucracy is bad, but it's a natural outgrowth of democracy, and the important thing is when the chips are down the Japanese people come together, everyone does their duty, and they pull through together. There's a touching scene where a janitor simply cleans up the wreckage and later a caterer brings a bowl of noodles to the main characters, and it seems to be saying no matter who you are, your contribution is important. The original Godzilla was pretty explicitly a metaphor for the atomic bombs, and this one is, too, though it also carries shades of the more recent disaster in Fukushima, and that was one of the times that we saw the Japanese people coming together and making individual sacrifices for the greater good. So don't expect an American blockbuster where a lone cowboy saves the day like Will Smith blowing up the alien mothership. Instead this is a story of a community coming together.
Overall, I give "Shin Godzilla" more than infinity stars.
November 14, 2016
Obligatory NaNo Post
Hey everybody! It's National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo. Naturally to a semi-professional (or am I fully professional now?) author like myself, every month is novel writing month. But NaNoWriMo is still something special.
The basics, in case you don't know: in the 30 days of November each year millions of people around the globe attempt to write a full 50,000 words. Basically, the ass bottom end of a novel's word count. That comes out to about 1700 words a day, every day, which is a huge step up from most people's "eh, whatever I feel like whenever I feel like." In my case I'd say in regular times I attempt to get something akin to 1000 words done every day, though it may be closer to every other day between research and procrastination. So NaNo is a time of year when I double or possibly even quadruple my output.
So why do I bother if, as I said, I'm already a published, though admittedly not full-time author? Well, mostly because it kicks my ass into gear and it's a good opportunity to bond with other people. Everybody in the writing community either does NaNo, or has some kind of reaction to it. I guess it would be like being a football fan and ignoring the Super Bowl. Yeah, maybe your team's not playing, but you're going to have some kind of opinion about it. It's a big fucking deal.
Now, for me personally NaNo has also been a source of great pride. Here is a list of the novels that I have produced during NaNo (bearing in mind that, no, a novel is not complete at 50,000 words and before months and months of editing, but still, the bulk of each of these was done in November):
2009 - BRAINEATER JONES
2010 - THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO
2011 - BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS
2015 - HUNTER OF THE DEAD
And if all goes well after the next few years of editing, etc., I may just be filling out the gaps in that schedule with a few more books. So, yeah, NaNo has been good for me in the past.
I know I'm more than a little behind on this post. More than a little as in two weeks...or almost half the entire month. But, yeah, as usual, I'm doing NaNoWriMo. If we're not already buddies, definitely add me.
So where am I right now? I'm at just under 24,000 words. Tomorrow's goal is 25,000 (obviously, as that would be the halfway mark of both the month and the word count.) So I'm just a scoche ahead of the game, maybe a little more than a day. Normally by this point I like to be much further along. There have been years when I've finished in under three weeks, and more than a few times I've jokingly suggested I should attempt NaNoWriFoNi and get it done in two weeks, but so far I've never been able to crack that nut. Maybe one year when my schedule's a bit less hectic and I have time to prepare a manuscript to start come November.
How are you doing? Playing along this year? Or does NaNo disgust you, as it does any right-thinking wordsmith?
The basics, in case you don't know: in the 30 days of November each year millions of people around the globe attempt to write a full 50,000 words. Basically, the ass bottom end of a novel's word count. That comes out to about 1700 words a day, every day, which is a huge step up from most people's "eh, whatever I feel like whenever I feel like." In my case I'd say in regular times I attempt to get something akin to 1000 words done every day, though it may be closer to every other day between research and procrastination. So NaNo is a time of year when I double or possibly even quadruple my output.
So why do I bother if, as I said, I'm already a published, though admittedly not full-time author? Well, mostly because it kicks my ass into gear and it's a good opportunity to bond with other people. Everybody in the writing community either does NaNo, or has some kind of reaction to it. I guess it would be like being a football fan and ignoring the Super Bowl. Yeah, maybe your team's not playing, but you're going to have some kind of opinion about it. It's a big fucking deal.
Now, for me personally NaNo has also been a source of great pride. Here is a list of the novels that I have produced during NaNo (bearing in mind that, no, a novel is not complete at 50,000 words and before months and months of editing, but still, the bulk of each of these was done in November):
2009 - BRAINEATER JONES
2010 - THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO
2011 - BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS
2015 - HUNTER OF THE DEAD
And if all goes well after the next few years of editing, etc., I may just be filling out the gaps in that schedule with a few more books. So, yeah, NaNo has been good for me in the past.
I know I'm more than a little behind on this post. More than a little as in two weeks...or almost half the entire month. But, yeah, as usual, I'm doing NaNoWriMo. If we're not already buddies, definitely add me.
So where am I right now? I'm at just under 24,000 words. Tomorrow's goal is 25,000 (obviously, as that would be the halfway mark of both the month and the word count.) So I'm just a scoche ahead of the game, maybe a little more than a day. Normally by this point I like to be much further along. There have been years when I've finished in under three weeks, and more than a few times I've jokingly suggested I should attempt NaNoWriFoNi and get it done in two weeks, but so far I've never been able to crack that nut. Maybe one year when my schedule's a bit less hectic and I have time to prepare a manuscript to start come November.
How are you doing? Playing along this year? Or does NaNo disgust you, as it does any right-thinking wordsmith?
November 11, 2016
Happy Veteran's Day!
Today is a good, albeit often lonely day for me. I don't think a whole lot of people get Veteran's Day off. Certainly none of my family ever did. I've benefited from (with the exception of about a year at a godawful call center) working for the federal government all my adult life, so I've always gotten Veteran's Day off.
While I was still in the army Golden Corral used to offer a free meal, and we used to wait in line, even when it went around the block, which it often did, especially in a military town. Nowadays I usually flit to a few different places for lunch, dinner, and coffee and so forth depending on what they're offering. As I said, it usually means I'm alone, which is a little sad, but I feel like if this is the day of the year when a few businesses want to show their appreciation, I should probably take advantage.
For a few years I tried to make a spree of it, seeing how many different places I could hit, but ultimately I just wasn't enjoying that. I had made it into a scavenger hunt and it started to make me feel kind of icky, like I was taking advantage. Nowadays I'm just of the mind, "Okay, I'll get a free meal or two. No need to cram a year's worth of veteran deals into a single afternoon."
How about you? How are you spending yours? Did you contact your veteran friends and family? Go to Arlington? Watch war movie on TMC all day?
While I was still in the army Golden Corral used to offer a free meal, and we used to wait in line, even when it went around the block, which it often did, especially in a military town. Nowadays I usually flit to a few different places for lunch, dinner, and coffee and so forth depending on what they're offering. As I said, it usually means I'm alone, which is a little sad, but I feel like if this is the day of the year when a few businesses want to show their appreciation, I should probably take advantage.
For a few years I tried to make a spree of it, seeing how many different places I could hit, but ultimately I just wasn't enjoying that. I had made it into a scavenger hunt and it started to make me feel kind of icky, like I was taking advantage. Nowadays I'm just of the mind, "Okay, I'll get a free meal or two. No need to cram a year's worth of veteran deals into a single afternoon."
How about you? How are you spending yours? Did you contact your veteran friends and family? Go to Arlington? Watch war movie on TMC all day?
