Stephen Kozeniewski's Blog, page 37
June 30, 2017
Pokemon Go Update
The party line (by which I mean the pop culture line) on Pokémon Go is that it's dead. Everyone played it for five minutes a year ago and then gave up. That hasn't really been my experience. We're not talking about MySpace here.
I play Pokémon Go daily. I've explained previously how I essentially work at a Pokéstop. It makes it far too easy for me to sit and score points and items all day while I'm at work. Considering you get 50 XP and a minimum of three items per spin, and you can spin every five minutes, in the average work day I'm scoring somewhere a tad south of 4800 XP and 288 items a day. That's before I've even caught my first Poke of the day.
So my perspective may be a bit skewed, because I essentially keep the app open 8 hours a day. But judging by how rapidly gyms turn over and fill up with Pokes, I can tell I'm not the only one playing. And considering I work on a closed Navy base, I assume that my experience is a bit on the meager side in terms of players as well.
I think the common wisdom that Pokémon is dead is due to the fact that it ballooned out tremendously at first, then contracted over the course of a year to a more sustainable size. We're still talking about one of the biggest games in the world, but since it's suddenly not the biggest game of all time anymore, people are dismissive of it. Such is life.
So for those of you who have given up already, you may not know that Pokémon Go recently underwent a massive change. Gym battles have been completely revamped.
The way the original gym battles worked was that one of the three Pokémon teams (red, blue, or yellow) could claim a gym. Then up to ten team members could stash an individual Poke in the gym. (So much as I may have wanted to pack a gym with ten of my own Pokes, I was always limited to one.)
When an enemy team attacked your gym, they gradually wore away the gym's capacity to hold Pokes until it was empty. Then they could claim it.
When a friendly team mate attacked a gym, he could drive up the gym's capacity to hold Pokes up to a maximum of ten.
Now, as for the battle itself, it consisted of three controls: simple attack, dodge, and complex attack. Complex attack happened when you had successfully conducted a certain number of simple attacks in order to fill a gauge. Then you could depress the screen and execute a complex attack. The only problem being if the enemy Poke was also attempting to execute his complex attack at the same time, you were stuck standing still.
So here's how literally every single gym battle went:
Tap tap tap tap tap depress tap tap tap tap tap depress tap tap dodge tap tap tap depress
And so on.
With the recent update the controls haven't changed very much. Animation has changed massively, though (your Pidgey now looks infinitesimal compared to a Gyarados) and a sort of showdown poster pops up before every battle reflecting the stats of the competing Pokes.
Gyms now contain a max of six Pokes, and there is no need for friendly fighting to make that possible. That makes me a sad panda because I used to spend countless hours every day friendly fighting. Now if my team has a gym, we just have it. The only time I get to wear out useless Pokes is when I can find an enemy gym.
Pokes who sit in gyms also gradually get depressed. Their combat power slowly degrades over the course of a day. A friendly player can now give out berries to combat waning morale. This is a mild positive for me because I used to just immediately throw out every Nanab berry I got, being the most useless of all berries, to make space for my 200-odd items a day. Now I can actually do something with my Nanab berries, and feeding berries comes with a very small stardust bonus. And stardust is always in demand.
Now, as Pokes get depressed from either sitting there or getting beaten (or even just engaged in combat) their CP gradually degrades. So when I go to fight an enemy gym, it may start out with, say, 6 enemy Pokes at 2000 CP apiece. Then I go in for the slaughter and they're all reduced to 1000 CP apiece. Which means now I can use difference Pokes. It's like a battle against a different Poke every time, as opposed to the old system where it just felt like I was fighting that same 2883 Blissey over and over and over and over again.
Now the worst part of the change is the new coin system. Under the old system, when you had a Poke in a gym, at a certain time every day you could claim 10 coins on his behalf, up to 100 coins. So if you had Pokes in 10 gyms, you were golden. The time decreased by three hours every day, which did lead to very awkward issues where my alarm was waking up my girlfriend at 3:00 am and it was a bit embarrassing to say why.
I'm not a big fan of the new coin system. It, like the fact that you can't friendly fight anymore, encourages a lot more changeover of gyms. The way it works is now that your Poke collects a coin for every ten minutes it spends in a gym. You can collect a maximum of 50 coins a day. And coins are only collected when the Poke returns to you.
So the pro: I don't have to worry about checking in at a certain time every day. Coins just come when the come.
The many cons: there's no way to predict when your Poke will come back to you! You could put ten Pokes in ten gyms and they could all sit there for a month, all get beaten on the same day, and you collect: 50 coins.
I mean, it's positive from the sense you don't have to wait 21 hours every day. Having a Poke in a gym for just a few hours means you'll collect. But it's a waste to keep a Poke in any gym for more than eight and a half hours. So that battling bastard of a Blastoise you've had tucked away in one spot for almost a week? Congratulations, he's worth 50 coins when all is said and done.
Basically, it encourages you to go around and constantly be fighting to put Pokes into gyms. Or else pay real money for coins, which I'm sure is the real goal here.
Anyway, I've blathered on long enough. Are you still playing Pokemon? What do you think of all the recent changes? What do you miss and what do you wish they would just adjust?
I play Pokémon Go daily. I've explained previously how I essentially work at a Pokéstop. It makes it far too easy for me to sit and score points and items all day while I'm at work. Considering you get 50 XP and a minimum of three items per spin, and you can spin every five minutes, in the average work day I'm scoring somewhere a tad south of 4800 XP and 288 items a day. That's before I've even caught my first Poke of the day.
So my perspective may be a bit skewed, because I essentially keep the app open 8 hours a day. But judging by how rapidly gyms turn over and fill up with Pokes, I can tell I'm not the only one playing. And considering I work on a closed Navy base, I assume that my experience is a bit on the meager side in terms of players as well.
I think the common wisdom that Pokémon is dead is due to the fact that it ballooned out tremendously at first, then contracted over the course of a year to a more sustainable size. We're still talking about one of the biggest games in the world, but since it's suddenly not the biggest game of all time anymore, people are dismissive of it. Such is life.
So for those of you who have given up already, you may not know that Pokémon Go recently underwent a massive change. Gym battles have been completely revamped.
The way the original gym battles worked was that one of the three Pokémon teams (red, blue, or yellow) could claim a gym. Then up to ten team members could stash an individual Poke in the gym. (So much as I may have wanted to pack a gym with ten of my own Pokes, I was always limited to one.)
When an enemy team attacked your gym, they gradually wore away the gym's capacity to hold Pokes until it was empty. Then they could claim it.
When a friendly team mate attacked a gym, he could drive up the gym's capacity to hold Pokes up to a maximum of ten.
Now, as for the battle itself, it consisted of three controls: simple attack, dodge, and complex attack. Complex attack happened when you had successfully conducted a certain number of simple attacks in order to fill a gauge. Then you could depress the screen and execute a complex attack. The only problem being if the enemy Poke was also attempting to execute his complex attack at the same time, you were stuck standing still.
So here's how literally every single gym battle went:
Tap tap tap tap tap depress tap tap tap tap tap depress tap tap dodge tap tap tap depress
And so on.
With the recent update the controls haven't changed very much. Animation has changed massively, though (your Pidgey now looks infinitesimal compared to a Gyarados) and a sort of showdown poster pops up before every battle reflecting the stats of the competing Pokes.
Gyms now contain a max of six Pokes, and there is no need for friendly fighting to make that possible. That makes me a sad panda because I used to spend countless hours every day friendly fighting. Now if my team has a gym, we just have it. The only time I get to wear out useless Pokes is when I can find an enemy gym.
Pokes who sit in gyms also gradually get depressed. Their combat power slowly degrades over the course of a day. A friendly player can now give out berries to combat waning morale. This is a mild positive for me because I used to just immediately throw out every Nanab berry I got, being the most useless of all berries, to make space for my 200-odd items a day. Now I can actually do something with my Nanab berries, and feeding berries comes with a very small stardust bonus. And stardust is always in demand.
Now, as Pokes get depressed from either sitting there or getting beaten (or even just engaged in combat) their CP gradually degrades. So when I go to fight an enemy gym, it may start out with, say, 6 enemy Pokes at 2000 CP apiece. Then I go in for the slaughter and they're all reduced to 1000 CP apiece. Which means now I can use difference Pokes. It's like a battle against a different Poke every time, as opposed to the old system where it just felt like I was fighting that same 2883 Blissey over and over and over and over again.
Now the worst part of the change is the new coin system. Under the old system, when you had a Poke in a gym, at a certain time every day you could claim 10 coins on his behalf, up to 100 coins. So if you had Pokes in 10 gyms, you were golden. The time decreased by three hours every day, which did lead to very awkward issues where my alarm was waking up my girlfriend at 3:00 am and it was a bit embarrassing to say why.
I'm not a big fan of the new coin system. It, like the fact that you can't friendly fight anymore, encourages a lot more changeover of gyms. The way it works is now that your Poke collects a coin for every ten minutes it spends in a gym. You can collect a maximum of 50 coins a day. And coins are only collected when the Poke returns to you.
So the pro: I don't have to worry about checking in at a certain time every day. Coins just come when the come.
The many cons: there's no way to predict when your Poke will come back to you! You could put ten Pokes in ten gyms and they could all sit there for a month, all get beaten on the same day, and you collect: 50 coins.
I mean, it's positive from the sense you don't have to wait 21 hours every day. Having a Poke in a gym for just a few hours means you'll collect. But it's a waste to keep a Poke in any gym for more than eight and a half hours. So that battling bastard of a Blastoise you've had tucked away in one spot for almost a week? Congratulations, he's worth 50 coins when all is said and done.
Basically, it encourages you to go around and constantly be fighting to put Pokes into gyms. Or else pay real money for coins, which I'm sure is the real goal here.
Anyway, I've blathered on long enough. Are you still playing Pokemon? What do you think of all the recent changes? What do you miss and what do you wish they would just adjust?
June 26, 2017
Feelin' Groovy
I know I've been a bit scarce here of late and I could give any one of several reasons why I've barely blogged this year, but I find nothing more exhausting than a blogpost promising to do better. (Usually they're the last blogpost of a dead blog, anyway.) I'd rather just do better. So onward and upward.
I, like all reasonable, intelligent human beings, was intensely worried, perhaps even panicked after the sociopathic man-child who was "elected" president took office earlier this year. From the day after theelection until fairly recently I was wringing my hands in worry about all the damage someone like Trump could do while occupying the most powerful office in the world. Now, though? Not so much.
I'm not feeling better because I expect Trump will be impeached or otherwise removed from office. In terms of simple math impeachment is an almost statistical impossibility. For reasons I hesistate to attribute to loyalty, (but perhaps I can at least offer that complimentary term to the insane side of the aisle) Republicans don't eat their own. Trump's been buffeted by scandal and sitting in the mid-thirties in terms of his approval rating almost since he took office. If the Republican congress hasn't turned on him by now, what would it take? Would he have to devour a live infant on camera? He's done just about everything but, including talking about grabbing women by the pussy. No, Trump will be safe from impeachment as long as the R's are in charge.
And even if (because it's far from a guarantee) the House of Representatives flips to the Democrats in 2018, and even if they then impeach him (also far from a guarantee) the Senate even as ideally constituted for the purpose will still have enough Republicans to block removing Trump from office. So impeachment, should it ever occur (which it probably won't) will have about the same practical effect as it did on Clinton: making the other side look petty for doing it.
Other forms of removal from office, barring unexpected death (I mean, the man is 70) are even more outlandish. Plus, and I didn't even want to get into this, but even chopping the head off the snake won't make much difference. The difference between a Trump presidency and a Pence presidency will be one of temperament, not ideology.
So I don't expect Trump to leave office before 2020. I certainly hope he does then. Why, then, am I feeling cautiously optimistic? Because the man is fucking worthless.
I mean, maybe I should have already expected this, but somehow I had convinced myself that Trump would come into office and actually enact all the crazy shit he promised on the campaign trail. I halfway believed he would actually surround himself with brilliant advisors who would do all the heavy lifting, and the country would tilt rightward into a fucking ditch.
But Trump never surrounded himself with brilliant advisors and at this point, most know to steer well clear. Instead, he's surrounded by his daughter, son-in-law, and some low-rent Goebbels wannabe. And they're all at each other's throats. By all accounts no one working in The White House knows who's in charge. Trump himself is apparently always convinced of the rectitude of the last article someone shoved under his nose. The whole thing sounds like a page out of the Kremlin court squabbles of the Soviet Union.
A preternatural gift for demagoguery has translated into precisely jack and shit when attempting to govern. (I say "govern" to be kind, because it's obvious that Trump would much rather dictate, and seems frustrated by the very idea that his pronouncements are not actually instantly obeyed as law.) I mean think about this: Trump couldn't get Obamacare repeal passed with a Republican House and Senate. That's like McDonald's running out of beef. I don't even know what to make of that. But this buffoon cannot get the one thing that has united Republicans of all stripes for the past decade passed?
Legislation is a difficult, grueling process of compromise and discussion. And Trump is absolute shit at it. He nearly ruined the budget reconciliation by demanding his stupid wall, which both sides considered idiotic to even be discussing at that point in time. Imagine that. Republicans and Democrats in the congress, normally at each other's throats, are suddenly united in how stupid they consider The White House's demands.
As for the scandals, well, Trump will weather them. I'm not convinced anything can disgrace him anymore. He's incapable of shame and his followers have erected a nigh impenetrable cult of personality around their own five senses (six, if you count "common.") Trump is right and therefore right is Trump in their eyes, so it doesn't really matter what he does, he's always right. The scandals won't bring him down. What they will do, though, is keep him distracted. While all his fury is focused on James Comey and the news media being mean to him (poor guy) he's not concentrating on enacting his stupid campaign promises.
The scandals also keep him boxed in. Legislators who don't have the advantage of being as Teflon as Don himself are already giving him a wide berth. Even Fox News seems to be tentatively stepping away from their constant beatification of him. It's easy to pretend it's still sunny when you feel a lone raindrop, but it's harder to dismiss a storm. As long as the crap keeps piling up, people with a survival isntinct (read: politicians and pundits) will continue to distance themselves from Trump.
And what this all adds up to is that Trump is so incompetent he can't ruin the country. In November I was worried about him establishing a fascist dictatorship, but now I'm not convinced he could cut the ribbon to a strip mall without breaking the scissors. I think, in the end, Trump will run out his four years as essentially a lame duck. He's what the press used to call "embattled" when they meant a politician was all out of friends and couldn't get anything done any more. And he's already embattled six months into his presidency.
Sure, things will be fucked up. There's already another right-winger on the Supreme Court. He could fumble a war or a terrorist attack. But mostly I expect a whole lot of nothing happening. And when the alternative to nothing is rabid right-wing policies, I'll take it.
I, like all reasonable, intelligent human beings, was intensely worried, perhaps even panicked after the sociopathic man-child who was "elected" president took office earlier this year. From the day after theelection until fairly recently I was wringing my hands in worry about all the damage someone like Trump could do while occupying the most powerful office in the world. Now, though? Not so much.
I'm not feeling better because I expect Trump will be impeached or otherwise removed from office. In terms of simple math impeachment is an almost statistical impossibility. For reasons I hesistate to attribute to loyalty, (but perhaps I can at least offer that complimentary term to the insane side of the aisle) Republicans don't eat their own. Trump's been buffeted by scandal and sitting in the mid-thirties in terms of his approval rating almost since he took office. If the Republican congress hasn't turned on him by now, what would it take? Would he have to devour a live infant on camera? He's done just about everything but, including talking about grabbing women by the pussy. No, Trump will be safe from impeachment as long as the R's are in charge.
And even if (because it's far from a guarantee) the House of Representatives flips to the Democrats in 2018, and even if they then impeach him (also far from a guarantee) the Senate even as ideally constituted for the purpose will still have enough Republicans to block removing Trump from office. So impeachment, should it ever occur (which it probably won't) will have about the same practical effect as it did on Clinton: making the other side look petty for doing it.
Other forms of removal from office, barring unexpected death (I mean, the man is 70) are even more outlandish. Plus, and I didn't even want to get into this, but even chopping the head off the snake won't make much difference. The difference between a Trump presidency and a Pence presidency will be one of temperament, not ideology.
So I don't expect Trump to leave office before 2020. I certainly hope he does then. Why, then, am I feeling cautiously optimistic? Because the man is fucking worthless.
I mean, maybe I should have already expected this, but somehow I had convinced myself that Trump would come into office and actually enact all the crazy shit he promised on the campaign trail. I halfway believed he would actually surround himself with brilliant advisors who would do all the heavy lifting, and the country would tilt rightward into a fucking ditch.
But Trump never surrounded himself with brilliant advisors and at this point, most know to steer well clear. Instead, he's surrounded by his daughter, son-in-law, and some low-rent Goebbels wannabe. And they're all at each other's throats. By all accounts no one working in The White House knows who's in charge. Trump himself is apparently always convinced of the rectitude of the last article someone shoved under his nose. The whole thing sounds like a page out of the Kremlin court squabbles of the Soviet Union.
A preternatural gift for demagoguery has translated into precisely jack and shit when attempting to govern. (I say "govern" to be kind, because it's obvious that Trump would much rather dictate, and seems frustrated by the very idea that his pronouncements are not actually instantly obeyed as law.) I mean think about this: Trump couldn't get Obamacare repeal passed with a Republican House and Senate. That's like McDonald's running out of beef. I don't even know what to make of that. But this buffoon cannot get the one thing that has united Republicans of all stripes for the past decade passed?
Legislation is a difficult, grueling process of compromise and discussion. And Trump is absolute shit at it. He nearly ruined the budget reconciliation by demanding his stupid wall, which both sides considered idiotic to even be discussing at that point in time. Imagine that. Republicans and Democrats in the congress, normally at each other's throats, are suddenly united in how stupid they consider The White House's demands.
As for the scandals, well, Trump will weather them. I'm not convinced anything can disgrace him anymore. He's incapable of shame and his followers have erected a nigh impenetrable cult of personality around their own five senses (six, if you count "common.") Trump is right and therefore right is Trump in their eyes, so it doesn't really matter what he does, he's always right. The scandals won't bring him down. What they will do, though, is keep him distracted. While all his fury is focused on James Comey and the news media being mean to him (poor guy) he's not concentrating on enacting his stupid campaign promises.
The scandals also keep him boxed in. Legislators who don't have the advantage of being as Teflon as Don himself are already giving him a wide berth. Even Fox News seems to be tentatively stepping away from their constant beatification of him. It's easy to pretend it's still sunny when you feel a lone raindrop, but it's harder to dismiss a storm. As long as the crap keeps piling up, people with a survival isntinct (read: politicians and pundits) will continue to distance themselves from Trump.
And what this all adds up to is that Trump is so incompetent he can't ruin the country. In November I was worried about him establishing a fascist dictatorship, but now I'm not convinced he could cut the ribbon to a strip mall without breaking the scissors. I think, in the end, Trump will run out his four years as essentially a lame duck. He's what the press used to call "embattled" when they meant a politician was all out of friends and couldn't get anything done any more. And he's already embattled six months into his presidency.
Sure, things will be fucked up. There's already another right-winger on the Supreme Court. He could fumble a war or a terrorist attack. But mostly I expect a whole lot of nothing happening. And when the alternative to nothing is rabid right-wing policies, I'll take it.
June 7, 2017
Cover Reveal: STARSWEPT by Mary Fan
Hey all!
I'm delighted to reveal the cover for STARSWEPT by our good friend Mary Fan!
As an author you sometimes get the opportunity to read books at various stages in the formation. I had the distinct pleasure of reading this when it was still called BUTTERFLY DOME and I loved it then. If you like sci-fi even a little bit, I think you'll love it as well. Check it out!
This sweeping YA sci-fi romance will be released on August 29 by Snowy Wings Publishing. The cover features photography by Roberto Falck, with graphic design by Streetlight Graphics.
Release Date: August 29, 2017
Publisher: Snowy Wings Publishing
Some melodies reach across the stars.
In 2157, the Adryil—an advanced race of telepathic humanoids—contacted Earth. A century later, 15-year-old violist Iris Lei considers herself lucky to attend Papilio, a prestigious performing arts school powered by their technology. Born penniless, Iris’s one shot at a better life is to attract an Adryil patron. But only the best get hired, and competition is fierce.
A sudden encounter with an Adryil boy upends her world. Iris longs to learn about him and his faraway realm, but after the authorities arrest him for trespassing, the only evidence she has of his existence is the mysterious alien device he slipped to her.
When she starts hearing his voice in her head, she wonders if her world of backstabbing artists and pressure for perfection is driving her insane. Then, she discovers that her visions of him are real—by way of telepathy—and soon finds herself lost in the kind of impossible love she depicts in her music.
But even as their bond deepens, Iris realizes that he’s hiding something from her—and it’s dangerous. Her quest for answers leads her past her sheltered world to a strange planet lightyears away, where she uncovers secrets about Earth’s alien allies that shatter everything she knows.
Preorder the hardback on Amazon
Preorder the e-book on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Kobo, or iBooks
Add it on Goodreads
About Mary Fan:
Mary Fan is a hopeless dreamer, whose mind insists on spinning tales of “what if.” As a music major in college, she told those stories through compositions. Now, she tells them through books. She is the author of the Jane Colt space opera trilogy, the Firedragon YA dystopia/fantasy novellas, and the Fated Stars YA high fantasy novellas. She's also the co-editor of the Brave New Girls YA sci-fi anthologies, which are dedicated to encouraging girls to enter STEM careers and raising money for the Society of Women Engineers scholarship fund.
Find her online at www.MaryFan.com.
Facebook: facebook.com/ mfanwriter
Twitter: @astralcolt
Instagram: @astralcolt
I'm delighted to reveal the cover for STARSWEPT by our good friend Mary Fan!
As an author you sometimes get the opportunity to read books at various stages in the formation. I had the distinct pleasure of reading this when it was still called BUTTERFLY DOME and I loved it then. If you like sci-fi even a little bit, I think you'll love it as well. Check it out!
This sweeping YA sci-fi romance will be released on August 29 by Snowy Wings Publishing. The cover features photography by Roberto Falck, with graphic design by Streetlight Graphics.
Release Date: August 29, 2017
Publisher: Snowy Wings Publishing
Some melodies reach across the stars.
In 2157, the Adryil—an advanced race of telepathic humanoids—contacted Earth. A century later, 15-year-old violist Iris Lei considers herself lucky to attend Papilio, a prestigious performing arts school powered by their technology. Born penniless, Iris’s one shot at a better life is to attract an Adryil patron. But only the best get hired, and competition is fierce.
A sudden encounter with an Adryil boy upends her world. Iris longs to learn about him and his faraway realm, but after the authorities arrest him for trespassing, the only evidence she has of his existence is the mysterious alien device he slipped to her.
When she starts hearing his voice in her head, she wonders if her world of backstabbing artists and pressure for perfection is driving her insane. Then, she discovers that her visions of him are real—by way of telepathy—and soon finds herself lost in the kind of impossible love she depicts in her music.
But even as their bond deepens, Iris realizes that he’s hiding something from her—and it’s dangerous. Her quest for answers leads her past her sheltered world to a strange planet lightyears away, where she uncovers secrets about Earth’s alien allies that shatter everything she knows.
Preorder the hardback on Amazon
Preorder the e-book on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Kobo, or iBooks
Add it on Goodreads
About Mary Fan:
Mary Fan is a hopeless dreamer, whose mind insists on spinning tales of “what if.” As a music major in college, she told those stories through compositions. Now, she tells them through books. She is the author of the Jane Colt space opera trilogy, the Firedragon YA dystopia/fantasy novellas, and the Fated Stars YA high fantasy novellas. She's also the co-editor of the Brave New Girls YA sci-fi anthologies, which are dedicated to encouraging girls to enter STEM careers and raising money for the Society of Women Engineers scholarship fund.
Find her online at www.MaryFan.com.
Facebook: facebook.com/ mfanwriter
Twitter: @astralcolt
Instagram: @astralcolt
May 10, 2017
A Feast of Horror...For Your Ears!
THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO is now available as an audiobook! You can purchase it from:
Amazon
Audible
If you've never read TGA before, this is now the Cadillac of ways to enjoy the book. And if you have, voiceover artist Jennifer Fournier has turned this into a wholly novel experience, well worth revisiting.
May 3, 2017
Tips For Conducting an Interview
If you've been following my group blog closely (and if you haven't, really, what's wrong with you?) you've probably noticed that there's been more emphasis on interviews this year. That was a deliberate choice at the suggestion of contributor Kimberly Garnick Giarratano.
Interviews are great for content. They essentially double your audience, because you tap into the audience of both interviewer and interviewee. I've done a lot of interviews here on the blog, and I've also been the subject of a number of interviews. So here are some of my thoughts on how to conduct a good written interview:
1.) First of all, do some research on your subject. You may find questions just jump out from that. For instance, I was writing questions for an author and I found out his dad was a general in the British army, so I asked what that was like. Whenever you can ask about things other than their basic bitch job, you're showing that you know about them, which is a good thing, and you're giving them opportunities to talk about subjects they may not always get to discuss. Which dovetails with my next suggestion:
2.) Don't ask questions that have been asked a million times. I, and every other author who ever lived, has already answered "Where do you get your ideas?" and "When did you start writing?" These are boring questions. They're boring because they're boilerplate, and they're also boring because they're hard to put a fun spin on. Your interview subject will probably have a canned response and that's no good, and nobody likes answering those questions anyway. Things that are constantly changing like, "What are you working on now?" are fine, because at least the answer can be different from interview to interview.
3.) You can throw in one whackadoo question, but I recommend keeping it to just one unless you know the person really well. I once asked an actress from Edmonton, which is famous for its dinosaurs, what her favorite dinosaur was. It had nothing to do with acting, but it was fun to hear the answer. You could even just something straight crazy like, "If you were a hot dog would you eat yourself?" It lets the subject know things aren't too serious, and at a minimum it's a question they've never heard before. Sometimes those even have the best answers.
4.) If you're into them, like really into them, don't be afraid to ask super deep cut questions. If somebody asks me, "What was your first novel" I instantly switch over to "fuck off" mode, and I'll probably stay that way for the rest of the interview. Also, the reader doesn't care. But if they're like, "Listen, I noticed in BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS you said there were no animals, but then on p. 163 there were a bunch of birds, what was that all about?" then I know the interviewer is actually a fan, and, counterintuitively, that stuff is actually really interesting to the reader even though it sounds like it's only for superfans. Sometimes you find out stuff in those answers you didn't even know you didn't know.
So what do you think? Do you have any tips or tricks for conducting interviews? If you've done a bunch, what do you like to hear from your interviewer? Let me know in the comments below.
Interviews are great for content. They essentially double your audience, because you tap into the audience of both interviewer and interviewee. I've done a lot of interviews here on the blog, and I've also been the subject of a number of interviews. So here are some of my thoughts on how to conduct a good written interview:
1.) First of all, do some research on your subject. You may find questions just jump out from that. For instance, I was writing questions for an author and I found out his dad was a general in the British army, so I asked what that was like. Whenever you can ask about things other than their basic bitch job, you're showing that you know about them, which is a good thing, and you're giving them opportunities to talk about subjects they may not always get to discuss. Which dovetails with my next suggestion:
2.) Don't ask questions that have been asked a million times. I, and every other author who ever lived, has already answered "Where do you get your ideas?" and "When did you start writing?" These are boring questions. They're boring because they're boilerplate, and they're also boring because they're hard to put a fun spin on. Your interview subject will probably have a canned response and that's no good, and nobody likes answering those questions anyway. Things that are constantly changing like, "What are you working on now?" are fine, because at least the answer can be different from interview to interview.
3.) You can throw in one whackadoo question, but I recommend keeping it to just one unless you know the person really well. I once asked an actress from Edmonton, which is famous for its dinosaurs, what her favorite dinosaur was. It had nothing to do with acting, but it was fun to hear the answer. You could even just something straight crazy like, "If you were a hot dog would you eat yourself?" It lets the subject know things aren't too serious, and at a minimum it's a question they've never heard before. Sometimes those even have the best answers.
4.) If you're into them, like really into them, don't be afraid to ask super deep cut questions. If somebody asks me, "What was your first novel" I instantly switch over to "fuck off" mode, and I'll probably stay that way for the rest of the interview. Also, the reader doesn't care. But if they're like, "Listen, I noticed in BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS you said there were no animals, but then on p. 163 there were a bunch of birds, what was that all about?" then I know the interviewer is actually a fan, and, counterintuitively, that stuff is actually really interesting to the reader even though it sounds like it's only for superfans. Sometimes you find out stuff in those answers you didn't even know you didn't know.
So what do you think? Do you have any tips or tricks for conducting interviews? If you've done a bunch, what do you like to hear from your interviewer? Let me know in the comments below.
April 28, 2017
What the Fuck is the Buddy System?
Countless great movies have been made about one man's quixotic struggle against a vast, dark conspiracy. And some not so great movies, too. (I'm looking at you, Sandra Bullock vehicle "The Net.")
What's compelling about the idea of a dark cabal in charge of things is that it both suggests that the vague unease we all feel about living in a complex, sometimes amoral society is legitimate, without really being existential. Sure, the world is evil, but only because a couple of bad apples are pulling the strings. Let Arnold Schwarzenegger or somebody explode all the bad guys and all will be righted.
The truth, of course, as most adults grudgingly come to accept while somehow not descending into a wallowing pit of despair, is that the world is actually quite fucked up, society is deeply dysfunctional, and while individual humans can listen to the better angels of their nature, humanity as a whole has mostly allowed its collective id to run rampant. Corporations aren't so much evil as avaricious, governments aren't so much repressive as bureaucratic, and people aren't so much cruel as blithely, banally self-centered. That, of course, is a wholly unsatisfying answer, hence why conspiracy theories are so popular.
But this is all a roundabout way of introducing today's topic: the buddy system. For most of you, of course, the buddy system is nothing more complex than elementary school kids holding hands in the pool or on a field trip so that the teacher can easily count the pairs. But for members of the horror community, the buddy system has taken on a whole new meaning in recent years.
The buddy system conspiracy theory is (and I don't believe I'm misrepresenting it here) begins with Stephen King and Simon Schuster in the late eighties deciding to cripple one of their employees - a promising young writer named Bradley Snow - and then blackball him from the industry for the next thirty years. During these three decades of unwarranted McCarthyism, the horror industry shriveled on the vine, being reduced to its current state of mostly being produced by small presses (which don't count and/or are simply porn.) The other authors who came to prominence during this period are not "true" horror authors in the sense that no Scotsman who disagrees with your premise is true. One can only surmise that had Snow been allowed to continue writing that we would be in a golden era of horror, perhaps one where the most popular show on television was a zombie saga and horror was consistently increasing in popularity across all media forms. It is but to dream.
Of course, don't take my word for it. Snow has been promising to publish a tell-all for years. I think the back cover really says all you need to know about "the buddy system," and straight from the horse's mouth:
Of course, the conspiracy version of the buddy system is entirely the feverish creation of one dull-witted and mentally ill troll. Now, to clarify, I suffer from mental illness myself and I have a great many friends who do as well. But we have all either sought out help or learned to live with our conditions with the support of our friends and family. Bradley Snow has decided to lash out at horror creators and publishers of all stripes, meaning that what's important about him is less the fact that he's clinically delusional and more the fact that he's an asshole. You can certainly be mentally ill without being an asshole...but that's not the case here. And while they may not all use the juvenile term "the buddy system," there are quite a few authors and schmauthors who feel the same way.
It's kind of a shame that the trolls have decided to latch onto this conspiracy concept because I think it's entirely possible that what an adult would call "nepotism," "favoritism," or even (were he struck by a fit of poesy) "the good ol' boy system" may be a concerning factor in the outcome of publishing deals. Certainly, I've heard more than a few stories of very average novels getting major Big 5 deals before it's revealed that the author was the niece of a big time editor at Penguin or something similar. So nepotism is certainly a possible factor in the state of publishing today, if you consider it doomed.
But what Snow and his ilk are describing is something far less insidious. He's absolutely furious that big-name authors and publishers all seem to know each other and, what's worse, like each other and even sometimes help each other out. There's nothing particularly confusing about that to the non-diseased mind. Everybody in politics know each other, everybody in the recording industry knows each other (how often do you see hit singles "featuring" another recording artist), so why is it strange that everyone in the horror industry knows each other?
Horror authors (well, any authors, really) need to network to succeed. I've been in I-don't-even-know-anymore-how-many anthologies with the likes of Jay Wilburn, Shana Festa, and even luminaries like Mark Tufo. I've done a collaboration now with Stevie Kopas. I've worked with four small presses and met friends and like-minded individuals at all of them, even at the ones I didn't ultimately publish with. I've met horror authors at conventions and on Twitter and Facebook and all over the place. We're all like-minded individuals setting out to succeed in a tough industry, and we often like each other. Do I have enemies? Sure, unfortunately. Are there people I find distasteful and like to avoid? Hell, yeah. But for the most part, if you're a horror author, you're part of my tribe, and I'm going to help you any way I can.
Unless you act like Bradley Snow. That's my one caveat. If you've decided you're a frustrated author because a mythical "buddy system" is keeping you down, then you may as well just give up right now. No one's going to welcome that kind of vitriol into their lives, and you're going to remain on the outside, unwelcomed by all. Hell, I'm a frustrated author. I don't have nearly the level of success that I'd like. But instead of blaming others, I work constantly on becoming better at my craft and networking with my fans and, yes, other authors and publishers. I don't want to alienate anyone who could potentially give me a hand up one day.
Now, where I would agree with Snow is if I felt that I had been given chances I didn't deserve because of my personal relationships. If I felt that I was doing sub-par work and only getting published because of who I know, then that would be an issue. But I haven't. In fact, I was recently accepted into an anthology I'm very excited about and the editor assured me that I wouldn't have been accepted if my work wasn't up to snuff, and in fact he had broken the hearts of a few of his much older and closer friends because their work wasn't good enough. That's the way this stuff really works. Good relations will get your foot in the door, but only quality writing will get you accepted.
So what is the buddy system? Just an excuse for poor writers to go on being terrible and blaming everyone but themselves for their lack of success.
What's compelling about the idea of a dark cabal in charge of things is that it both suggests that the vague unease we all feel about living in a complex, sometimes amoral society is legitimate, without really being existential. Sure, the world is evil, but only because a couple of bad apples are pulling the strings. Let Arnold Schwarzenegger or somebody explode all the bad guys and all will be righted.
The truth, of course, as most adults grudgingly come to accept while somehow not descending into a wallowing pit of despair, is that the world is actually quite fucked up, society is deeply dysfunctional, and while individual humans can listen to the better angels of their nature, humanity as a whole has mostly allowed its collective id to run rampant. Corporations aren't so much evil as avaricious, governments aren't so much repressive as bureaucratic, and people aren't so much cruel as blithely, banally self-centered. That, of course, is a wholly unsatisfying answer, hence why conspiracy theories are so popular.
But this is all a roundabout way of introducing today's topic: the buddy system. For most of you, of course, the buddy system is nothing more complex than elementary school kids holding hands in the pool or on a field trip so that the teacher can easily count the pairs. But for members of the horror community, the buddy system has taken on a whole new meaning in recent years.
The buddy system conspiracy theory is (and I don't believe I'm misrepresenting it here) begins with Stephen King and Simon Schuster in the late eighties deciding to cripple one of their employees - a promising young writer named Bradley Snow - and then blackball him from the industry for the next thirty years. During these three decades of unwarranted McCarthyism, the horror industry shriveled on the vine, being reduced to its current state of mostly being produced by small presses (which don't count and/or are simply porn.) The other authors who came to prominence during this period are not "true" horror authors in the sense that no Scotsman who disagrees with your premise is true. One can only surmise that had Snow been allowed to continue writing that we would be in a golden era of horror, perhaps one where the most popular show on television was a zombie saga and horror was consistently increasing in popularity across all media forms. It is but to dream.
Of course, don't take my word for it. Snow has been promising to publish a tell-all for years. I think the back cover really says all you need to know about "the buddy system," and straight from the horse's mouth:
Of course, the conspiracy version of the buddy system is entirely the feverish creation of one dull-witted and mentally ill troll. Now, to clarify, I suffer from mental illness myself and I have a great many friends who do as well. But we have all either sought out help or learned to live with our conditions with the support of our friends and family. Bradley Snow has decided to lash out at horror creators and publishers of all stripes, meaning that what's important about him is less the fact that he's clinically delusional and more the fact that he's an asshole. You can certainly be mentally ill without being an asshole...but that's not the case here. And while they may not all use the juvenile term "the buddy system," there are quite a few authors and schmauthors who feel the same way.
It's kind of a shame that the trolls have decided to latch onto this conspiracy concept because I think it's entirely possible that what an adult would call "nepotism," "favoritism," or even (were he struck by a fit of poesy) "the good ol' boy system" may be a concerning factor in the outcome of publishing deals. Certainly, I've heard more than a few stories of very average novels getting major Big 5 deals before it's revealed that the author was the niece of a big time editor at Penguin or something similar. So nepotism is certainly a possible factor in the state of publishing today, if you consider it doomed.
But what Snow and his ilk are describing is something far less insidious. He's absolutely furious that big-name authors and publishers all seem to know each other and, what's worse, like each other and even sometimes help each other out. There's nothing particularly confusing about that to the non-diseased mind. Everybody in politics know each other, everybody in the recording industry knows each other (how often do you see hit singles "featuring" another recording artist), so why is it strange that everyone in the horror industry knows each other?
Horror authors (well, any authors, really) need to network to succeed. I've been in I-don't-even-know-anymore-how-many anthologies with the likes of Jay Wilburn, Shana Festa, and even luminaries like Mark Tufo. I've done a collaboration now with Stevie Kopas. I've worked with four small presses and met friends and like-minded individuals at all of them, even at the ones I didn't ultimately publish with. I've met horror authors at conventions and on Twitter and Facebook and all over the place. We're all like-minded individuals setting out to succeed in a tough industry, and we often like each other. Do I have enemies? Sure, unfortunately. Are there people I find distasteful and like to avoid? Hell, yeah. But for the most part, if you're a horror author, you're part of my tribe, and I'm going to help you any way I can.
Unless you act like Bradley Snow. That's my one caveat. If you've decided you're a frustrated author because a mythical "buddy system" is keeping you down, then you may as well just give up right now. No one's going to welcome that kind of vitriol into their lives, and you're going to remain on the outside, unwelcomed by all. Hell, I'm a frustrated author. I don't have nearly the level of success that I'd like. But instead of blaming others, I work constantly on becoming better at my craft and networking with my fans and, yes, other authors and publishers. I don't want to alienate anyone who could potentially give me a hand up one day.
Now, where I would agree with Snow is if I felt that I had been given chances I didn't deserve because of my personal relationships. If I felt that I was doing sub-par work and only getting published because of who I know, then that would be an issue. But I haven't. In fact, I was recently accepted into an anthology I'm very excited about and the editor assured me that I wouldn't have been accepted if my work wasn't up to snuff, and in fact he had broken the hearts of a few of his much older and closer friends because their work wasn't good enough. That's the way this stuff really works. Good relations will get your foot in the door, but only quality writing will get you accepted.
So what is the buddy system? Just an excuse for poor writers to go on being terrible and blaming everyone but themselves for their lack of success.
April 26, 2017
Carlisle High School SciFi Saturday or Bust!
If you live anywhere near central Pennsylvania, it would behoove you to stop by Carlisle High School this coming Saturday. Carlisle High School SciFi Day is one of the best-run conventions that I attend. The kids work really hard to take care of the vendors and guests. And there is a lot of great charitable work that goes on.
If you're interested, the address is:
623 W Penn St
Carlisle, PA 17013
The hours are 11:00 am to 5:00 pm EST. I'll be participating in the following panels:
Saturday 2:30 pm - LGI - "Q & A for Aspiring Authors"
Saturday 1:00 pm - M41 - "Promoting Yourself in 2017"
Hope to see you there!
If you're interested, the address is:
623 W Penn St
Carlisle, PA 17013
The hours are 11:00 am to 5:00 pm EST. I'll be participating in the following panels:
Saturday 2:30 pm - LGI - "Q & A for Aspiring Authors"
Saturday 1:00 pm - M41 - "Promoting Yourself in 2017"
Hope to see you there!
April 19, 2017
The Quintessential THE HEMATOPHAGES Post
THE HEMATOPHAGES is now available in e-book and paperback formats through the following fine booksellers:
Amazon
It's also got pages on Goodreads.
Here are the other places around the net where you can find THE HEMATOPHAGES:
An excerpt on Daily Dead
A review on the Sinister Grin Press blog
A release day blitz on Kelly Smith Reviews
A review on The Most Sublime
A guest post on Sanford Allen's blog
A review on Cedar Hollow Horror Reviews
April 3, 2017
New Release: THE HEMATOPHAGES
Hi everybody! I'm very pleased to announce the release of my sixth novel, THE HEMATOPHAGES, from Sinister Grin Press. It's something like a combination of "Office Space" and "Alien." It's available now in e-book and paperback formats through the following fine booksellers:
Amazon
You can also add it on Goodreads.
Doctoral student Paige Ambroziak is a “station bunny” – she’s never set foot off the deep space outpost where she grew up. But when she’s offered a small fortune to join a clandestine salvage mission, she jumps at the chance to leave the cutthroat world of academia behind.
Paige is convinced she’s been enlisted to find the legendary Manifest Destiny, a long-lost colonization vessel from an era before the corporations ruled Earth and its colonies. Whatever she’s looking for, though, rests in the blood-like seas of a planet-sized organism called a fleshworld.
Dangers abound for Paige and her shipmates. Flying outside charted space means competing corporations can shoot them on sight rather than respect their salvage rights. The area is also crawling with pirates like the ghoulish skin-wrappers, known for murdering anyone they can’t extort.
But the greatest threat to Paige’s mission is the nauseating alien parasites which infest the fleshworld. These lamprey-like monstrosities are used to swimming freely in an ocean of blood, and will happily spill a new one from the veins of the outsiders who have tainted their home. In just a few short, bone-chilling hours Paige learns that there are no limits to the depravity and violence of the grotesque nightmares known as…THE HEMATOPHAGES.
March 29, 2017
BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS is Back, in Audiobook Form!
BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS is now available as an audiobook! You can purchase it from:
Amazon
Audible
If you've never read BATC, this is now the premiere way to experience it. And if you have, why not take a moment to revisit it, enjoying the dulcet tones of Voiceover Arts Awards-nominated Steve Rimpici?
