Stephen Kozeniewski's Blog, page 44
September 7, 2016
I'm Gonna Wreck It!
"Wreck-It Ralph" is one of my all-time favorite movies. I still remember getting chills down my spine the first time I saw the trailer:
What more could a millennial video game fan want? I even remember sitting down in the theater and saying, "Please just don't let this movie suck." And it didn't. It was everything I could have hoped for.
What it also was, and this rarely gets commented on, was a masterful lesson in storytelling. Yes, Pixar and Disney pretty much have a handle on how to make these tear-jerking, fast-paced movies without being maudlin. And, yes, movies are a collaborative process, and there were probably script doctors, and an animated movie in particular has to be polished to a shine before anyone will shell out the cash on it.
But knowing that, let's set that aside for a minute and look at the story as though it were a novel. When you boil any story down to brass tacks it requires two things: a protagonist and a goal. Sure, an antagonist is nice, and a love interest is nice, and a setting is nice, but you don't really need any of that stuff.
Think of your most beloved children's books. THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR had nothing but a protagonist and a goal. Ditto THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD. That's all you need for a story at its most fundamental.
Now when "Wreck-It Ralph" starts out, Ralph is feeling restless. His game is thirty years old and no one appreciates him. He even attends a weekly Bad-Anon meeting for the first time. Ralph's real goal, if I can just rip the Band-Aid off at the start, is to be happy. But he doesn't recognize that for almost the entire duration of the movie. Instead, he decides that his goal is to be a good guy. For him, this means winning a medal, because that's what good guys do. He thinks winning a medal will earn him respect, which is what he thinks will make him happy.
Now basically two parallel stories start. The real story is about Ralph trying to find his happiness. But since he doesn't understand that that's what he wants, he sets out to become a good guy by winning a medal. This is doubly ironic because a medal is simply an acknowledgement of an achievement, and Ralph doesn't even achieve what he's supposed to in order to win it. He cheats, essentially, scaling the building and taking the medal. He was even willing to just take one from Tapper's lost and found. He thinks he's on a quest for one thing, but he's really on a quest for another thing, and even when he gets what he thinks he's questing for, he doesn't understand that it's just a symbol for what he really wants: satisfaction.
So what happens next? Ralph ends up in Sugar Rush and he still thinks he's after his medal, but now to get his medal he has to help Vanellope make a car and learn to drive and enter the race. Ralph's goals are like a damn Matryoshka doll at this point. He really wants to be happy, but he thinks he wants a medal, and he thinks to get the medal he has to help out Vanellope, which is genuinely making him happy, but he's lost sight of what his real goal is, if he ever even knew it.
Now enter King Candy, who literally hands Ralph the medal he's been after. Two times now Ralph has gotten what he thought he wanted without going through the proper steps to earn it. And two times now he's failed to learn that lesson.
At this point King Candy gives Ralph a speech where he explains that sometimes doing the right thing for somebody means not giving them what they want. Now this is actually one of the most interesting parts of the movie, and, in a sense, I'm sorry that it turned out to be a cop-out. It was almost retconned when it turned out that King Candy was the villainous virus Turbo all along. But, I mean, again, it's a kid's cartoon so I understand why they did it. But can you imagine if it had turned out that King Candy was being earnest? If it had turned out that Candy was secretly looking out for Vanellope the whole time and that in helping her, Ralph was actually hurting her? That's some heavy fucking stuff right there.
But, okay, it was a children's cartoon so it didn't go down that route. Ralph returns to his own game and realizes that while he's accomplished what was ostensibly his goal - winning a medal and living in the penthouse - through his selfish actions he's endangered the lives of everyone he cares about. And, perhaps worst of all, he's betrayed the only real friend he ever had, Vanellope.
Now his goal shifts again: to right the wrongs he's caused. At this point, we've actually stripped away one layer of self-deception, because Ralph's aspirations to be a good guy never had any damn thing at all to do with winning a medal. A person's status as a hero or villain is determined by their actions. King Candy, for instance, is certainly the good guy (protagonist) of his game, but his actions clearly make him a bad guy (antagonist.) Meanwhile, Ralph, who is ostensibly the bad guy, has actually been a good guy up until now because he's shown up to work every day to do a vital job, in spite of the jeers he receives because of it. Admittedly, the Nicelanders shouldn't have been jerkoffs, but it's only when Ralph goes off the reservation that he becomes a genuine bad guy.
But all is not lost and this is a Disney movie, so, of course, Ralph saves the day by heroically sacrificing himself - the very definition of what it means to be a good guy - while reassuring himself that it's okay because he's just the bad guy. And then the final layer of self-deception is stripped away, because good and bad - as the zombie said in the very first scene - are just labels. And Ralph gets to be happy, which was his goal all along, if he had ever been willing to just admit it to himself, by having friends.
It's all very complicated, twisty stuff from a storytelling perspective. But while the movie has a lot to say about the nature of good and evil, happiness, and real friendship, it never feels like a Dostoevsky novel. It keeps all of its shifting goalposts in plain view, so the kids are never confused.
So, like I said, the storytelling lesson we can take away from "Wreck-It Ralph" is to look at your characters' actual goals, and the false goals they tell themselves will get them there. It can add a whole other level of depth to your story, because people really do deceive themselves about what they really want.
What more could a millennial video game fan want? I even remember sitting down in the theater and saying, "Please just don't let this movie suck." And it didn't. It was everything I could have hoped for.
What it also was, and this rarely gets commented on, was a masterful lesson in storytelling. Yes, Pixar and Disney pretty much have a handle on how to make these tear-jerking, fast-paced movies without being maudlin. And, yes, movies are a collaborative process, and there were probably script doctors, and an animated movie in particular has to be polished to a shine before anyone will shell out the cash on it.
But knowing that, let's set that aside for a minute and look at the story as though it were a novel. When you boil any story down to brass tacks it requires two things: a protagonist and a goal. Sure, an antagonist is nice, and a love interest is nice, and a setting is nice, but you don't really need any of that stuff.
Think of your most beloved children's books. THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR had nothing but a protagonist and a goal. Ditto THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD. That's all you need for a story at its most fundamental.
Now when "Wreck-It Ralph" starts out, Ralph is feeling restless. His game is thirty years old and no one appreciates him. He even attends a weekly Bad-Anon meeting for the first time. Ralph's real goal, if I can just rip the Band-Aid off at the start, is to be happy. But he doesn't recognize that for almost the entire duration of the movie. Instead, he decides that his goal is to be a good guy. For him, this means winning a medal, because that's what good guys do. He thinks winning a medal will earn him respect, which is what he thinks will make him happy.
Now basically two parallel stories start. The real story is about Ralph trying to find his happiness. But since he doesn't understand that that's what he wants, he sets out to become a good guy by winning a medal. This is doubly ironic because a medal is simply an acknowledgement of an achievement, and Ralph doesn't even achieve what he's supposed to in order to win it. He cheats, essentially, scaling the building and taking the medal. He was even willing to just take one from Tapper's lost and found. He thinks he's on a quest for one thing, but he's really on a quest for another thing, and even when he gets what he thinks he's questing for, he doesn't understand that it's just a symbol for what he really wants: satisfaction.
So what happens next? Ralph ends up in Sugar Rush and he still thinks he's after his medal, but now to get his medal he has to help Vanellope make a car and learn to drive and enter the race. Ralph's goals are like a damn Matryoshka doll at this point. He really wants to be happy, but he thinks he wants a medal, and he thinks to get the medal he has to help out Vanellope, which is genuinely making him happy, but he's lost sight of what his real goal is, if he ever even knew it.
Now enter King Candy, who literally hands Ralph the medal he's been after. Two times now Ralph has gotten what he thought he wanted without going through the proper steps to earn it. And two times now he's failed to learn that lesson.
At this point King Candy gives Ralph a speech where he explains that sometimes doing the right thing for somebody means not giving them what they want. Now this is actually one of the most interesting parts of the movie, and, in a sense, I'm sorry that it turned out to be a cop-out. It was almost retconned when it turned out that King Candy was the villainous virus Turbo all along. But, I mean, again, it's a kid's cartoon so I understand why they did it. But can you imagine if it had turned out that King Candy was being earnest? If it had turned out that Candy was secretly looking out for Vanellope the whole time and that in helping her, Ralph was actually hurting her? That's some heavy fucking stuff right there.
But, okay, it was a children's cartoon so it didn't go down that route. Ralph returns to his own game and realizes that while he's accomplished what was ostensibly his goal - winning a medal and living in the penthouse - through his selfish actions he's endangered the lives of everyone he cares about. And, perhaps worst of all, he's betrayed the only real friend he ever had, Vanellope.
Now his goal shifts again: to right the wrongs he's caused. At this point, we've actually stripped away one layer of self-deception, because Ralph's aspirations to be a good guy never had any damn thing at all to do with winning a medal. A person's status as a hero or villain is determined by their actions. King Candy, for instance, is certainly the good guy (protagonist) of his game, but his actions clearly make him a bad guy (antagonist.) Meanwhile, Ralph, who is ostensibly the bad guy, has actually been a good guy up until now because he's shown up to work every day to do a vital job, in spite of the jeers he receives because of it. Admittedly, the Nicelanders shouldn't have been jerkoffs, but it's only when Ralph goes off the reservation that he becomes a genuine bad guy.
But all is not lost and this is a Disney movie, so, of course, Ralph saves the day by heroically sacrificing himself - the very definition of what it means to be a good guy - while reassuring himself that it's okay because he's just the bad guy. And then the final layer of self-deception is stripped away, because good and bad - as the zombie said in the very first scene - are just labels. And Ralph gets to be happy, which was his goal all along, if he had ever been willing to just admit it to himself, by having friends.
It's all very complicated, twisty stuff from a storytelling perspective. But while the movie has a lot to say about the nature of good and evil, happiness, and real friendship, it never feels like a Dostoevsky novel. It keeps all of its shifting goalposts in plain view, so the kids are never confused.
So, like I said, the storytelling lesson we can take away from "Wreck-It Ralph" is to look at your characters' actual goals, and the false goals they tell themselves will get them there. It can add a whole other level of depth to your story, because people really do deceive themselves about what they really want.
September 5, 2016
Happy Labor Day!
How are you spending yours?
September 2, 2016
Don't Road Rage on P.O.W.s: A Public Service Message
I had a real Patton Oswalt "Christmas Shoes" moment a few weeks ago. Pop music has a very...complicated relationship with the military. AC/DC, for instance, is the unofficial band of the army. But by and large I heard a lot more country when I was in the army than I necessarily preferred. Every morning the commanding general of Ft. Sill greeted us with "Brought to you Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue," which is just an unbearable song at the best of times, but to have to hear it every morning just compounds its grating awfulness.
Well, anyway, this blogpost isn't about that. This blogpost is about a picnic I was at a few weeks ago. Every year the commander of the Navy base I now work at throws a picnic for the employees. Of course, this being the military, you can't just call it a picnic or even field day. No. We need an unnecessary acronym for it, just as we need an unnecessary acronym for literally everything. So this picnic is known as ERAC, Employee Recognition and Awards Ceremony.
So I'm sitting there at the ERAC, and as is often the case at such picnics, there was music blaring over the speaker system, and as is usual in the military, it was some country music. For some reason I started listening to the lyrics of the song and I nearly shit myself. To be fair to the artist, let's just reproduce them here and I'll go over my thoughts on the matter.
I was flying down the highway
Weaving in and out of traffic
I was racing time
Okay, so the narrator's being an aggressive driver. The good news is, in retrospect, he realizes he was being an aggressive driver. Okay. Everybody gets that way on the road sometimes, but it's important to recognize it.
An old man pulled out in front of me
Oh, yeah. Old people. Old people driving slow can really fuck you up on the road. Especially if you're already in that ragey place.
And I went crazy as can be
I lost my mind
Wow, okay, so at this point I think I know where this story is going. The narrator starts out in a rage, he even recognizes he was being an asshole, some old guy pulls out in front of him, probably not meaning to do anyone any harm, but the narrator loses his shit anyway. Which we've all done. So probably he realizes that you shouldn't road rage on people, and shows some contrition, and, yay, song!
But wait!
I blew my horn till I got close enough to see
And what was on his car-tag sure convicted me
So this is getting a little strange. Is this like a sitcom where the character is yelling about his boss and then it turns out his boss is standing right behind him? So this guy raged out on a guy on the highway and it turned out he was somebody important?
P.O.W. 369
Wow. Damn. Dude rolled out the hellcome wagon and the little old guy was a vet, and not just a vet, but a prisoner of war. So, now, here's the chorus:
I should salute you from this heart of mine
And thank you for placing your life on the line
For me, I'm free
I pray that the rest of your journey is a peaceful one
And may you take your own sweet time
Mr. P.O.W. 369
So, the song continues, but that's basically the whole gist of it. There are no other lessons learned. Just, dude was raging, little old man pulls out in front of him, dude rages even more until he realizes the little old guy was a vet...then suddenly he feels like he has egg on his face.
It's like there's zero self-reflection here. It's not like, "Oh, you know, you probably shouldn't road rage on anybody, and I learned that lesson when I road raged on a vet this one time." No. It's not that at all. It's like he's saying, "Road rage is okay...unless it's on a vet, you bastards, so keep an eye out on those bumper stickers. P.O.W.s can take their own sweet time and shit, but everybody else GTFO of the way!"
I mean, in doing my research (read: Wikipedia) for this blogpost, I learned that the guy who sings this song, Darryl Worley, is most famous for that godawful "Have You Forgotten" song, so I'm not surprised that he's not big on self-reflection and taking life lessons away from his experiences. He's more about being maudlin and oversimplifying shit. In which case, I guess "Fuck with everybody but P.O.W.s" tends to err on the more introspective side of the spectrum of messages.
Well, anyway, this blogpost isn't about that. This blogpost is about a picnic I was at a few weeks ago. Every year the commander of the Navy base I now work at throws a picnic for the employees. Of course, this being the military, you can't just call it a picnic or even field day. No. We need an unnecessary acronym for it, just as we need an unnecessary acronym for literally everything. So this picnic is known as ERAC, Employee Recognition and Awards Ceremony.
So I'm sitting there at the ERAC, and as is often the case at such picnics, there was music blaring over the speaker system, and as is usual in the military, it was some country music. For some reason I started listening to the lyrics of the song and I nearly shit myself. To be fair to the artist, let's just reproduce them here and I'll go over my thoughts on the matter.
I was flying down the highway
Weaving in and out of traffic
I was racing time
Okay, so the narrator's being an aggressive driver. The good news is, in retrospect, he realizes he was being an aggressive driver. Okay. Everybody gets that way on the road sometimes, but it's important to recognize it.
An old man pulled out in front of me
Oh, yeah. Old people. Old people driving slow can really fuck you up on the road. Especially if you're already in that ragey place.
And I went crazy as can be
I lost my mind
Wow, okay, so at this point I think I know where this story is going. The narrator starts out in a rage, he even recognizes he was being an asshole, some old guy pulls out in front of him, probably not meaning to do anyone any harm, but the narrator loses his shit anyway. Which we've all done. So probably he realizes that you shouldn't road rage on people, and shows some contrition, and, yay, song!
But wait!
I blew my horn till I got close enough to see
And what was on his car-tag sure convicted me
So this is getting a little strange. Is this like a sitcom where the character is yelling about his boss and then it turns out his boss is standing right behind him? So this guy raged out on a guy on the highway and it turned out he was somebody important?
P.O.W. 369
Wow. Damn. Dude rolled out the hellcome wagon and the little old guy was a vet, and not just a vet, but a prisoner of war. So, now, here's the chorus:
I should salute you from this heart of mine
And thank you for placing your life on the line
For me, I'm free
I pray that the rest of your journey is a peaceful one
And may you take your own sweet time
Mr. P.O.W. 369
So, the song continues, but that's basically the whole gist of it. There are no other lessons learned. Just, dude was raging, little old man pulls out in front of him, dude rages even more until he realizes the little old guy was a vet...then suddenly he feels like he has egg on his face.
It's like there's zero self-reflection here. It's not like, "Oh, you know, you probably shouldn't road rage on anybody, and I learned that lesson when I road raged on a vet this one time." No. It's not that at all. It's like he's saying, "Road rage is okay...unless it's on a vet, you bastards, so keep an eye out on those bumper stickers. P.O.W.s can take their own sweet time and shit, but everybody else GTFO of the way!"
I mean, in doing my research (read: Wikipedia) for this blogpost, I learned that the guy who sings this song, Darryl Worley, is most famous for that godawful "Have You Forgotten" song, so I'm not surprised that he's not big on self-reflection and taking life lessons away from his experiences. He's more about being maudlin and oversimplifying shit. In which case, I guess "Fuck with everybody but P.O.W.s" tends to err on the more introspective side of the spectrum of messages.
August 31, 2016
Making the Sausage: Release Day Edition
After the (somewhat surprising) success of my last super-in-the-weeds bullshit industry post, which was about how I can afford to ship personalized, autographed books to fans, I thought I might try a new, possibly recurring segment about the deep, dark recesses of the publishing industry, Making the Sausage.
So, on Monday I mentioned how much I've been sucking at blogging lately. A solid ten days of that was lost due to the HUNTER OF THE DEAD release day blitz, which, yes, is nearly two weeks of work for me.
Don't believe me? I thought I'd make a list of what I do for every release. Now, bear in mind, I have no idea which if any of these add to sales. So I may be completely wasting my time. I don't think so, though, and I've been honing this process over the five book launches I've now completed, and HUNTER OF THE DEAD was my biggest launch yet, so I must be doing something vaguely right. At a minimum, you can chime in down in the comments and tell me what I'm doing wrong and right.
- crafting a release day blog post
- crafting a "Quintessential" blog post (the difference between the two is a release day post is just for release, but a "Quintessential" post goes up a few days or possibly weeks later, when there have been some reviews and mentions, and then is added to my "Info on My Published Work" and updated constantly as a repository for all reviews and mentions of my work on the internet)
- updating the "Info on My Published Work" page so that the new work is included on it, first with just an Amazon link, then with a link to the "Quintessential" post when that goes live
- crafting the perfect post for my group blog
- responding to any blog comments (across all three posts) with a personalized thank you
- updating your e-mail signature line with the new book, before sending out e-mails to the mailing list
- crafting the perfect e-mail for the mailing list
- on release day, sending two separate e-mails, one for the people you know are real on the mailing list, and the other to the people you suspect are scammers
- clearing the confirmed scammers out of your mailing list when their e-mails bounce
- answering congratulatory e-mails from your mailing list
- creating the perfect Goodreads event well in advance of release day, making the duration of the event at least one day for each thousand friends you have on GR
- inviting all of your Goodreads friends to the event in blocks of a thousand, a hundred at a time, because Goodreads won't let you invite more than a thousand people to an event in a 24-hour period
- responding to each "yes" and "maybe" on your GR event with a personalized thank you, and to some of the "nos" if they've given some kind of justification with an offer of some sort or possibly just a condolence
- mention your release on any pertinent and apropos GR groups
- crafting the perfect Facebook post for the business page and scheduling it for release day
- liking (or loving) and crafting a personalized thank you comment to each person who shares your FB post
- after determining interest has waned on your business FB post, share it to your personal FB
- also like (or love) and craft a personalized thank you for everyone who shares your personal FB post
- mention your release on any pertinent and apropos FB groups
- crafting the perfect Tweet
- take advantage of Tweet sharing groups, etc., to get more eyes on your tweet
- craft a personalized thank you for everyone who shares your tweet
- monitor Twitter for mentions of your release that you haven't been tagged on and gradually retweet them and send personalized thank yous
- monitoring Amazon rankings, sometimes all night, in order to capture screenshots of your possible bestselling statuses, across every individual national Amazon store
- after determining your highest bestseller statuses, posting screen caps, along with a thank you to your fans, on FB and Twitter
- mention your release on any pertinent and apropos message boards you may belong to/participate in
That's everything I can think of that's release "day" specific. What do you think? How much of this is wasting my time and how much is actually driving sales? What do you do?
So, on Monday I mentioned how much I've been sucking at blogging lately. A solid ten days of that was lost due to the HUNTER OF THE DEAD release day blitz, which, yes, is nearly two weeks of work for me.
Don't believe me? I thought I'd make a list of what I do for every release. Now, bear in mind, I have no idea which if any of these add to sales. So I may be completely wasting my time. I don't think so, though, and I've been honing this process over the five book launches I've now completed, and HUNTER OF THE DEAD was my biggest launch yet, so I must be doing something vaguely right. At a minimum, you can chime in down in the comments and tell me what I'm doing wrong and right.
- crafting a release day blog post
- crafting a "Quintessential" blog post (the difference between the two is a release day post is just for release, but a "Quintessential" post goes up a few days or possibly weeks later, when there have been some reviews and mentions, and then is added to my "Info on My Published Work" and updated constantly as a repository for all reviews and mentions of my work on the internet)
- updating the "Info on My Published Work" page so that the new work is included on it, first with just an Amazon link, then with a link to the "Quintessential" post when that goes live
- crafting the perfect post for my group blog
- responding to any blog comments (across all three posts) with a personalized thank you
- updating your e-mail signature line with the new book, before sending out e-mails to the mailing list
- crafting the perfect e-mail for the mailing list
- on release day, sending two separate e-mails, one for the people you know are real on the mailing list, and the other to the people you suspect are scammers
- clearing the confirmed scammers out of your mailing list when their e-mails bounce
- answering congratulatory e-mails from your mailing list
- creating the perfect Goodreads event well in advance of release day, making the duration of the event at least one day for each thousand friends you have on GR
- inviting all of your Goodreads friends to the event in blocks of a thousand, a hundred at a time, because Goodreads won't let you invite more than a thousand people to an event in a 24-hour period
- responding to each "yes" and "maybe" on your GR event with a personalized thank you, and to some of the "nos" if they've given some kind of justification with an offer of some sort or possibly just a condolence
- mention your release on any pertinent and apropos GR groups
- crafting the perfect Facebook post for the business page and scheduling it for release day
- liking (or loving) and crafting a personalized thank you comment to each person who shares your FB post
- after determining interest has waned on your business FB post, share it to your personal FB
- also like (or love) and craft a personalized thank you for everyone who shares your personal FB post
- mention your release on any pertinent and apropos FB groups
- crafting the perfect Tweet
- take advantage of Tweet sharing groups, etc., to get more eyes on your tweet
- craft a personalized thank you for everyone who shares your tweet
- monitor Twitter for mentions of your release that you haven't been tagged on and gradually retweet them and send personalized thank yous
- monitoring Amazon rankings, sometimes all night, in order to capture screenshots of your possible bestselling statuses, across every individual national Amazon store
- after determining your highest bestseller statuses, posting screen caps, along with a thank you to your fans, on FB and Twitter
- mention your release on any pertinent and apropos message boards you may belong to/participate in
That's everything I can think of that's release "day" specific. What do you think? How much of this is wasting my time and how much is actually driving sales? What do you do?
August 29, 2016
I Suck
Hey, kids!
I know I've been scarce around here. Which I said at the beginning of the year I was going to do, that is, not feel obliged to robotically post three times a week like I usually do.
Here's the thing: once you give yourself a little leeway to drop the ball, you can give yourself a lot of leeway. Like when you tell your kids they can stay up a few minutes late if they're good turns into them being up all night and fighting over the definition of "a few" and "good."
So, I ended up busting my deadline for the upcoming THE HEMATOPHAGES, which was due August 1, but I didn't get it turned in until August 7. And then a week after that HUNTER OF THE DEAD dropped, and release day is actually about a solid seven to ten days of straight marketing. (More on that on Wednesday.)
Which meant the next novel that I was supposed to get started on, SLASHVIVOR!, I didn't even want to look at until about three days ago. Not to mention I can't drop the ball on my group blog, oh yeah, I have a day job which has gone straight to hell (where I usually write all of my blogposts, BTW) not to mention all the usual day-to-day trials and travails.
So, since I said I wouldn't let myself be beholden to the blog this year, I've let it drop for almost a month now. And I really don't like being that guy. I really don't. You guys probably have no idea how many blogs I follow. It's in the hundreds. And I can't tell you how many of those are nothing more than the writer popping in every six months to say, "I know I've been terrible about updating the blog, and I swear that stops now" and then never posting again. And this post, this one I'm writing right now, it sounds exactly like one of those posts. But I swear to God I don't want to be that guy.
So I have to readjust. I don't want to be beholden to the blog, but I don't want it to turn into a wasteland either. I'm proud to say this blog has been around for almost eight years and it's never been silent longer than a few weeks. In fact, this latest period of spotty updates may be the worst in Manuscripts Burn history. To be honest, I don't really feel like skimming back through eight years and 1190 posts to be sure. But it's probably the worst.
So I'm going to adjust fire. I'm going to make sure that if you've gone to the trouble to make Mansucripts Burn one of your destinations on the internet, there will be something fresh here for you to read. But I'm also not going to let myself get burnt out on it. So what does that new paradigm look like? I don't know. And I don't want to make any promises either. I'm just going to resolve to suck less. And I already have one in the can for you on Wednesday, so, in the short run at least, problem solved.
I know I've been scarce around here. Which I said at the beginning of the year I was going to do, that is, not feel obliged to robotically post three times a week like I usually do.
Here's the thing: once you give yourself a little leeway to drop the ball, you can give yourself a lot of leeway. Like when you tell your kids they can stay up a few minutes late if they're good turns into them being up all night and fighting over the definition of "a few" and "good."
So, I ended up busting my deadline for the upcoming THE HEMATOPHAGES, which was due August 1, but I didn't get it turned in until August 7. And then a week after that HUNTER OF THE DEAD dropped, and release day is actually about a solid seven to ten days of straight marketing. (More on that on Wednesday.)
Which meant the next novel that I was supposed to get started on, SLASHVIVOR!, I didn't even want to look at until about three days ago. Not to mention I can't drop the ball on my group blog, oh yeah, I have a day job which has gone straight to hell (where I usually write all of my blogposts, BTW) not to mention all the usual day-to-day trials and travails.
So, since I said I wouldn't let myself be beholden to the blog this year, I've let it drop for almost a month now. And I really don't like being that guy. I really don't. You guys probably have no idea how many blogs I follow. It's in the hundreds. And I can't tell you how many of those are nothing more than the writer popping in every six months to say, "I know I've been terrible about updating the blog, and I swear that stops now" and then never posting again. And this post, this one I'm writing right now, it sounds exactly like one of those posts. But I swear to God I don't want to be that guy.
So I have to readjust. I don't want to be beholden to the blog, but I don't want it to turn into a wasteland either. I'm proud to say this blog has been around for almost eight years and it's never been silent longer than a few weeks. In fact, this latest period of spotty updates may be the worst in Manuscripts Burn history. To be honest, I don't really feel like skimming back through eight years and 1190 posts to be sure. But it's probably the worst.
So I'm going to adjust fire. I'm going to make sure that if you've gone to the trouble to make Mansucripts Burn one of your destinations on the internet, there will be something fresh here for you to read. But I'm also not going to let myself get burnt out on it. So what does that new paradigm look like? I don't know. And I don't want to make any promises either. I'm just going to resolve to suck less. And I already have one in the can for you on Wednesday, so, in the short run at least, problem solved.
August 22, 2016
The Quintessential HUNTER OF THE DEAD Post
HUNTER OF THE DEAD is now available in e-book and paperback formats through the following fine booksellers:
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
It's also got pages on Goodreads and BookLikes.
Here are the other places around the net where you can find HoTD:
Cover Reveal on the Sinister Grin Press blog
An excerpt on THe GaL iN THe BLue MaSK
An interview on Beavis the Bookhead
August 15, 2016
Release Announcement: HUNTER OF THE DEAD
Hey, everybody, I'm very happy to announce the release of my fifth novel, HUNTER OF THE DEAD, by Sinister Grin Press. It's now available for purchase in paperback and Kindle e-book formats.
Just a quick reminder: authors live or die by word-of-mouth. If you'd be so kind as to share or tweet my release on social media, or even just tell your friends about it in person, I'd be very grateful.
Thanks so much to all my friends, family, and fans for making this release and my entire writing career possible!
August 8, 2016
How the Sausage is Made
On Friday I posted that I'm opening up to mailing out autographed copies of my novels. I was never really "closed" to it, per se, but I thought I should make the announcement public so all of my fans are aware of the same opportunity.
As I was drafting that blogpost, I started to go into the details of how and why I can afford to do this in terms of time, financial investment, etc. But then I realized that it was turning a tiny little announcement post into a lengthy trip down writecraft lane. So I truncated it where it was. Buuuuuuuut, since some of my readers are genuinely interested in the hows, whys, wherefores, and specifics of how a writer makes money, I thought this might make a good subject for a separate post.
So if all you need to know is how to get a book from me, check out Friday's post. If you want to know more, read on.
At present BRAINEATER JONES is $12.99 on Amazon, EVERY KINGDOM DIVIDED is $17.59, THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO is $13.50, and BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS is $9.99. So how can I afford to sell the books for only $10 at signings or in this mailing offer? Because I order at an author's discount.
What is an author's discount? The easiest way to explain it is to consider who is dividing up the money you spend on a book. Most of the money goes to Amazon, and in the case of paperbacks, most of that money is the actual cost of production. But don't worry, Amazon's getting paid no matter what. What's left is divided (the percentage depending on the contract between them) between the publisher and the author.
When an author orders using his discount, he's basically getting the book less what he would be paid. So Amazon and the publisher still get paid, but the author's "payment" for that book is getting the book for cheap. Then I can pass on the love to my fans or not, as I see fit. I'm at the point in my career where I still do, because I'm still trying to build an audience, so selling books for cheaper is more beneficial to me at this point. If I was a famous author and people were clamoring for my books, I could afford to charge slightly more. At one of my signings, price might be a reason someone doesn't buy a book, and I can't afford to lose potential fans because of my price point. Stephen King, for instance, has already put in the hard work of building an audience, so he can charge essentially whatever he wants and the line will still be around the block.
That's why it's always going to be your benefit to purchase paperbacks from me at a signing or by mail because I pass on the author's discount to you. And, yes, the price for BILLY is about the same, but the small profit I make on BILLY sales helps me underwrite the other three.
So, for instance, with my author's discount I spend about $7 per copy of BRAINEATER, taking into account shipping. So every copy of BRAINEATER I sell for $10 is a $3 profit. That's about average. I make a little more on BILLY, and quite a bit less on GHOUL. GHOUL costs me very close to $10. If my BILLY sales didn't make up for it, I wouldn't be able to sell GHOUL for the same price as the others.
So why don't I just price all of my books so that I make the same amount of profit on each? Primarily it's because at events I'm not just selling my books. I'm also selling Mary Fan's books, who is my usual convention partner, as well as Elizabeth Corrigan's, Melissa MacVicar's, Collin Tobin's, and a number of others. If we priced every book individually it would be a nightmare to sell anything to anyone. So we all agreed on a price of $12 apiece, or $10 apiece if you buy two or more. With the mailing offer I'm making it even easier on you, and just starting out at $10 apiece.
But what about shipping? Why do I charge a flat rate for shipping when shipping varies.
Well, yes, shipping varies, but so far I haven't shipped a package that cost more than $5, and for one book it's still around $2.75 for the Media rate. I expect if I ever sell all four books in a single pop the shipping cost would be slightly over $5, but I'm not sure. So I'm calling it $5 for all packages. First of all, I want payment up front, and while I could make an educated guess as to the cost for shipping each package, it's better to just give you a rate that I know is not exorbitant. Will I profit slightly from shipping on some package? Yes. I may make a net total of $1.75 when shipping a single book at the Media rate. And that will help to offset when I sell all four books at $5.75 or so. It also means that I won't have Jimmy in Sacramento complaining that I charged him $3.75 but I only charged Kitty in Philadelphia $2.75.
Now, bear in mind, all of this discussion assumes you're within the continental U.S. If you're outside the contiguous 48, we can discuss it, but most shipping charges are prohibitively expensive. I've done this before with reviewer copies. I've sent single books to the UK for a whopping $26 in shipping. It's cheaper for me to order a copy through Amazon UK without my author discount and have it sent directly to the reviewer than to pay shipping and send it from here.
So why can't I do anthologies? Well, it all boils down to the same financial concerns. All of my anthologies are either for charity or else I do not get an author's discount. So, yes, I guess I could send you a signed anthology, but I'd have to order it, have it shipped to me, sign it, ship it to you, and then pass on that full price to you, and since I don't make royalties on anthologies, it would be for zero profit. So, for instance, if you wanted AT HELL'S GATES, which is $12.59 on Amazon, assuming $5 for shipping both ways, I'd have to charge you around $22.59 just to break even. If you really want a signed anthology, I guess we can discuss it, but it's to both of our benefits if you purchase it yourself and bring it to a signing.
Like I said, I know this post was a bit in the weeds, but that's why I didn't want all this information cluttering up the initial post. And, hey, some people like to crawl around in the weeds, so for those of you out there, enjoy.
As I was drafting that blogpost, I started to go into the details of how and why I can afford to do this in terms of time, financial investment, etc. But then I realized that it was turning a tiny little announcement post into a lengthy trip down writecraft lane. So I truncated it where it was. Buuuuuuuut, since some of my readers are genuinely interested in the hows, whys, wherefores, and specifics of how a writer makes money, I thought this might make a good subject for a separate post.
So if all you need to know is how to get a book from me, check out Friday's post. If you want to know more, read on.
At present BRAINEATER JONES is $12.99 on Amazon, EVERY KINGDOM DIVIDED is $17.59, THE GHOUL ARCHIPELAGO is $13.50, and BILLY AND THE CLONEASAURUS is $9.99. So how can I afford to sell the books for only $10 at signings or in this mailing offer? Because I order at an author's discount.
What is an author's discount? The easiest way to explain it is to consider who is dividing up the money you spend on a book. Most of the money goes to Amazon, and in the case of paperbacks, most of that money is the actual cost of production. But don't worry, Amazon's getting paid no matter what. What's left is divided (the percentage depending on the contract between them) between the publisher and the author.
When an author orders using his discount, he's basically getting the book less what he would be paid. So Amazon and the publisher still get paid, but the author's "payment" for that book is getting the book for cheap. Then I can pass on the love to my fans or not, as I see fit. I'm at the point in my career where I still do, because I'm still trying to build an audience, so selling books for cheaper is more beneficial to me at this point. If I was a famous author and people were clamoring for my books, I could afford to charge slightly more. At one of my signings, price might be a reason someone doesn't buy a book, and I can't afford to lose potential fans because of my price point. Stephen King, for instance, has already put in the hard work of building an audience, so he can charge essentially whatever he wants and the line will still be around the block.
That's why it's always going to be your benefit to purchase paperbacks from me at a signing or by mail because I pass on the author's discount to you. And, yes, the price for BILLY is about the same, but the small profit I make on BILLY sales helps me underwrite the other three.
So, for instance, with my author's discount I spend about $7 per copy of BRAINEATER, taking into account shipping. So every copy of BRAINEATER I sell for $10 is a $3 profit. That's about average. I make a little more on BILLY, and quite a bit less on GHOUL. GHOUL costs me very close to $10. If my BILLY sales didn't make up for it, I wouldn't be able to sell GHOUL for the same price as the others.
So why don't I just price all of my books so that I make the same amount of profit on each? Primarily it's because at events I'm not just selling my books. I'm also selling Mary Fan's books, who is my usual convention partner, as well as Elizabeth Corrigan's, Melissa MacVicar's, Collin Tobin's, and a number of others. If we priced every book individually it would be a nightmare to sell anything to anyone. So we all agreed on a price of $12 apiece, or $10 apiece if you buy two or more. With the mailing offer I'm making it even easier on you, and just starting out at $10 apiece.
But what about shipping? Why do I charge a flat rate for shipping when shipping varies.
Well, yes, shipping varies, but so far I haven't shipped a package that cost more than $5, and for one book it's still around $2.75 for the Media rate. I expect if I ever sell all four books in a single pop the shipping cost would be slightly over $5, but I'm not sure. So I'm calling it $5 for all packages. First of all, I want payment up front, and while I could make an educated guess as to the cost for shipping each package, it's better to just give you a rate that I know is not exorbitant. Will I profit slightly from shipping on some package? Yes. I may make a net total of $1.75 when shipping a single book at the Media rate. And that will help to offset when I sell all four books at $5.75 or so. It also means that I won't have Jimmy in Sacramento complaining that I charged him $3.75 but I only charged Kitty in Philadelphia $2.75.
Now, bear in mind, all of this discussion assumes you're within the continental U.S. If you're outside the contiguous 48, we can discuss it, but most shipping charges are prohibitively expensive. I've done this before with reviewer copies. I've sent single books to the UK for a whopping $26 in shipping. It's cheaper for me to order a copy through Amazon UK without my author discount and have it sent directly to the reviewer than to pay shipping and send it from here.
So why can't I do anthologies? Well, it all boils down to the same financial concerns. All of my anthologies are either for charity or else I do not get an author's discount. So, yes, I guess I could send you a signed anthology, but I'd have to order it, have it shipped to me, sign it, ship it to you, and then pass on that full price to you, and since I don't make royalties on anthologies, it would be for zero profit. So, for instance, if you wanted AT HELL'S GATES, which is $12.59 on Amazon, assuming $5 for shipping both ways, I'd have to charge you around $22.59 just to break even. If you really want a signed anthology, I guess we can discuss it, but it's to both of our benefits if you purchase it yourself and bring it to a signing.
Like I said, I know this post was a bit in the weeds, but that's why I didn't want all this information cluttering up the initial post. And, hey, some people like to crawl around in the weeds, so for those of you out there, enjoy.
August 5, 2016
Do You Want an Autograph?
Hello, friends! A brief word on autographs.
First of all, if you've bought an e-copy of any of my books, you can always request an inscription and an e-autograph through Authorgraph. You knew that just from reading the header on the blog.
However, lots of people also prefer actual autographs on physical books. As you've probably been able to tell, I've been hitting the convention circuit hard lately. A number of readers either missed a signing or bought a book at one event and decided they wanted more. As a result, I've had several people approach me in the last few weeks on FB and Twitter wondering if they can get signed paperbacks.
At the moment the answer is yes. I know there are some authors who are far too busy to answer every such request, but I am by no means that famous and/or busy right now. (With luck, this blogpost will open up the floodgates and make me eat those words, so have at it.)
I always have paperbacks of my novels on hand for signing, and I'm happy to ship them out to you. Unfortunately, I do not keep any of the anthologies in stock.
Feel free to reach out to me by whatever means you prefer: e-mail, FB messenger, even Twitter DM. Here's what I'll need from you:
- Your shipping address
- Whether you want to dictate you own inscription, have me make up a personalized inscription, or flat sign it (as in, just the autograph, you know, so you can flip it on eBay or whatever)
- $10 per novel and $5 total for shipping (I prefer PayPal, but we can discuss.)
First of all, if you've bought an e-copy of any of my books, you can always request an inscription and an e-autograph through Authorgraph. You knew that just from reading the header on the blog.
However, lots of people also prefer actual autographs on physical books. As you've probably been able to tell, I've been hitting the convention circuit hard lately. A number of readers either missed a signing or bought a book at one event and decided they wanted more. As a result, I've had several people approach me in the last few weeks on FB and Twitter wondering if they can get signed paperbacks.
At the moment the answer is yes. I know there are some authors who are far too busy to answer every such request, but I am by no means that famous and/or busy right now. (With luck, this blogpost will open up the floodgates and make me eat those words, so have at it.)
I always have paperbacks of my novels on hand for signing, and I'm happy to ship them out to you. Unfortunately, I do not keep any of the anthologies in stock.
Feel free to reach out to me by whatever means you prefer: e-mail, FB messenger, even Twitter DM. Here's what I'll need from you:
- Your shipping address
- Whether you want to dictate you own inscription, have me make up a personalized inscription, or flat sign it (as in, just the autograph, you know, so you can flip it on eBay or whatever)
- $10 per novel and $5 total for shipping (I prefer PayPal, but we can discuss.)
August 3, 2016
Creating the HUNTER OF THE DEAD Cover (Guest Post by Zach McCain, Professional Artist)
Hey kids! Today you're in for a treat. Some of you have already witnessed over on the group blog the trials and travails of letting someone like me describe a cover I want. These poor illustrators deserve sainthood for dealing with me. Take a look, for instance, at the "concept art" I sent to my longsuffering publishers Sinister Grin for my upcoming thing about vampires, HUNTER OF THE DEAD:
This time, though, rather than merely guess at how the poor fellow behind the easel took my clip art of Sauron (yes, I know it's actually Morgoth, thanks) and turned it into an actual book cover, you good people get to hear it from the horse's mouth! So without any further ado, let's introduce today's guest and then get straight to the good stuff.
About Zach McCain:
Zach McCain is an internationally published artist who is primarily known for his illustration and cover artwork in the horror and science fiction genres. He has worked on hundreds of books for numerous publishers. His work ranges from book and magazine illustration to graphic design, album art, DVD and poster work for films, and RPG games. Mediums often used are oils as well as pencil, ink, and digital.
As a fan of Stephen King Zach started out doing graphics and web work for "The Dark Tower Compendium," a Stephen King fan website. He continued to do Stephen King fan artwork in his spare time and eventually got work with small horror publishers and "Cemetery Dance Magazine." A couple of pieces of his fan artwork were featured in KNOWING DARKNESS: THE ART OF STEPHEN KING published by Centipede Press. He continues to do artwork for Stephen King projects including books and film as well as private commissions for fans.
He is also the graphic designer for dark fiction publisher DarkFuse and he is currently working on his own comic book series in his spare time.
If you are a publisher, or an author looking to self publish your book, and are in need of cover art and/or design work feel free to contact Zach at: zmccain@gmail.com.
You can find out more about Zach at his website and on Twitter.
Guest Post:
When it comes to cover art I have various ways of getting the job done depending on what the publisher or author wants and what the cover idea is. Digital photo manipulation, oil paintings, colored pencil on acrylic, and pencil drawings colored in Photoshop are all techniques I use. In the case of HUNTER OF THE DEAD I went the pencil drawing/Photoshop route.
Here's how it was done:
Step 1
After the sketch is approved I start out by doing a pencil drawing on a comic book art board.
Step 2
When the pencil drawing is completed I scan it in sections and put it back together in Photoshop.
Step 3
Next I begin a slow and tedious process of tracing around every element with the lasso tool in Photoshop and filling it with a color. Everything is separated on it's own layer. This step takes the most time out of the entire process.
Step 4
As soon as I have everything traced and separated I begin coloring each part of the illustration one by one.
Step 5
Once every part of the image is filled in with color I will then go in and add details. In this case I added highlights on the armor and horse using the lasso tool and blood using the paintbrush tool. I will add textures if needed and adjust brightness and contrast as well as the overall color. This final step is the second longest in the entire process.
Step 6
Once everything looks good I will add the text.
And that's how I did HUNTER OF THE DEAD.
About HUNTER OF THE DEAD
Someone has begun targeting vampires.
Vampire leaders of the thirteen Houses attribute the string of recent losses to over-zealous vampire hunters. Only Cicatrice, the most ancient and powerful vampire in the world, suspects that the semi-legendary Hunter of the Dead may be the real culprit.
Carter Price ,a vampire hunter who despises the way his profession is becoming centralized and corporatized, begins to suspect the Hunter of the Dead is back, too - and no longer distinguishing between vampires and mortals. Against his better judgment, Price agrees to work with Cicatrice.
The uneasy allies attempt to uncover the truth about the Hunter, while a vampire civil war brews in the background. But perhaps most difficult of all, they must contend with their new apprentices, who seem to be falling in love with each other against every rule of man and monster...
HUNTER OF THE DEAD will be released in paperback and Kindle on August 15, 2016. It is available now for pre-order at Amazon.
About Stephen Kozeniewski:
Stephen Kozeniewski (pronounced "causin' ooze key") lives in Pennsylvania, the birthplace of the modern zombie. During his time as a Field Artillery officer, he served for three years in Oklahoma and one in Iraq, where due to what he assumes was a clerical error, he was awarded the Bronze Star. He is also a classically trained linguist, which sounds more impressive than saying his bachelor's degree is in German.
You can follow Stephen on Facebook, Twitter, Amazon, Goodreads, his blog, or even join his mailing list.
