Nancy Davis Kho's Blog, page 4
June 19, 2020
Your Favorite GenX Summer Childhood Memories?
Ah, the summers of Generation X’s youth. Depending where your birthday falls in the 1965ish-1980ish birth spectrum, you might have woken up early on a Saturday to watch the only two hours of dedicated children’s television programming per week, or watched the Fab 5 original VJs while you downed bowl after bowl of Count Chocula. Then it was on to a full day of “your-parents-had-only-a-vague-idea”, on your banana seat bike or your roller skates or your skateboard. Home at dinnertime (oh my god it’s SWANSON’S TV DINNER NIGHT THAT’S MY FAVORITE!), and then maybe even back outside until it was too dark to see anymore.
No computers. No smartphones. The only gaming systems were Pong and Atari and only the lucky early adopter kids had those.
The point is, the ‘70s and ‘80s childhoods were pretty freakin’ low tech, low budget, low structure. And during Pandemic 2020, it might feel good to dial ourselves back to those more carefree times. Not only that, those of us Midlife Mixtapers who still have kids underfoot might be ready for some reminders of all the creative, close-to-home fun we got up to back in the day, to suggest for their own kids.
So it’s time for another Listener Contributed Episode of the podcast, and here’s the question I want you to answer:
What are your favorite GenX summer childhood memories?
What were the activities that meant “summer” to you? What were the analog ways that you idled away your days that Digital Native children would struggle to understand? (I for one was always thrilled when someone presented me with a rock and fresh roll of caps. Mmmm, sulfur.) What lo-fi summer fun circa 1978 might be due for a revisit in 2020, given pandemic restrictions that prevent us from traveling or congregating the way we normally would? Did anyone else besides me run a thriving unaccredited neighborhood day camp before they had turned 12?
You can tell the teachers from the students because the teachers are wearing BANDANAS. Duh.
I’m looking for your memories, your stories, your suggestions. As always, there are lots of ways to play:
Leave a comment on this blog post
Email me your summer memories at dj@midlifemixtape.com
Send me a tweet or Instagram comment @midlifemixtape
Leave me a voice mail right from your computer! If you’re reading this on your desktop or mobile device, you’ll see a blue button on the right hand side that says, “Share your favorite GenX summer childhood memories!” Just press it, and you can start recording with one click. I would LOVE for people to do this so I can incorporate your actual voice on the episode!
Record a voice memo into your phone and email it to dj@midlifemixtape.com. Again, it would be so cool to hear and share your story in your actual voice.
And to sweeten the deal, I will choose one lucky person at random from everyone who sends in a story to win a signed copy of my book, The Thank-You Project, from my personal stash here in the office. I’ll spray ‘em with Lysol first and wear a mask when I pack them up, don’t worry.
I’ll compile it all into an episode for your listening pleasure in early July – so send me your input by end of day Tuesday, June 30th!
C’mon, GenX slackers, put down that icy cold Jolt Cola and the Bubble Yum and show me what you’ve got!
Yes that’s right, today’s music video is just a close up of Andy Gibb singing the song of Summer 1977. YOU ARE WELCOME.
The post Your Favorite GenX Summer Childhood Memories? appeared first on Midlife Mixtape .
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June 9, 2020
Ep 76 Affordable Housing Advocate Fay Darmawi
“How much do we care?” SF Urban Film Fest founder Fay Darmawi on her cross-disciplinary approach to housing justice, the power of storytelling to change the Affordable Housing Industrial Complex, and her hip new hips.
Fay Darmawi’s website
SF Urban Film Fest
The Color of Law: A Forgotten History of How Our Government Segregated America by Richard Rothstein
How Redlining’s Racist Effects Lasted for Decades – NY Times, 8/24/2017
Redlining was banned 50 years ago. It’s still hurting minorities today. Washington Post, 3/28/2018
Webinar on White Immunity by Dr. Nolan Carbera
Best song at best concert, although honestly the version Fay and I were treated to at Irvine Auditorium in Philly in ’86 rocked WAY harder – here’s the setlist from that show!
Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the Midlife Mixtape podcast – check him out here!
The post Ep 76 Affordable Housing Advocate Fay Darmawi appeared first on Midlife Mixtape .
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May 26, 2020
Ep 75 Poi Dog Pondering Frontman Frank Orrall
“Hardcore reinvention”: Poi Dog Pondering founder and bandleader Frank Orrall talks about learning to trust his instincts in the music business, his musical and culinary side gigs, and the challenges facing artists due to COVID-19.
Nancy’s spotlight wedding dance
I dare you to stay in your chair
Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the Midlife Mixtape podcast – check him out here!
PoiDogPondering.com
Host a Frank Orrall acoustic guitar party with your friends – more info here!
The post Ep 75 Poi Dog Pondering Frontman Frank Orrall appeared first on Midlife Mixtape .
CommentsIn reply to Ellen. Yayyyy! I knew you'd dig that! Thanks for ... by Nancy Davis Kho (@midlifemixtape)Nancy! I did not expect to make a cameo of sorts in your Frank ... by EllenIn reply to Esther Gulli. Great minds think alike and all ... by Nancy Davis Kho (@midlifemixtape)OH MY GOD… What are the chances? I was literally just talking ... by Esther GulliRelated StoriesEp 74 Educator and Author Jessica LaheyEp 73 Pop Star Goddesses Author Jennifer ArmstrongEp 72 Being Black at School Founder Kelly Hurst
May 12, 2020
Ep 74 Educator and Author Jessica Lahey
“Stick with the things that really feed you”: NY Times bestselling author of The Gift of Failure Jessica Lahey on pandemic lessons in resilience and self-efficacy, her zig zag career path, and backstage cartwheels at Billy Joel concerts.
Jessica Lahey’s website
#AmWriting podcast
Behold the Venn diagram between yoga and hip hop – MC Yogi
Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the Midlife Mixtape podcast – check him out here!
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April 28, 2020
Ep 73 Pop Star Goddesses Author Jennifer Armstrong
“Just pretend you’re Beyoncé right now”: Pop culture history writer Jennifer Keishin Armstrong talks about her new book Pop Star Goddesses and how channeling both the power and flaws of our favorite female artists can help us navigate uncertain times.
Pop Star Goddesses
Jennifer K. Armstrong’s website
Flaming Idols – altar candles featuring inspiring figures of the LGBTQ community.
CARLA BRUNI WHAT? I didn’t know what to expect and I am now going to go down the rabbit hole.
Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the Midlife Mixtape podcast – check him out here!
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April 22, 2020
Pandemic Punch Down
A dear friend of mine recently lost his dad, and I told him that the image of grieving that was most helpful when I lost my own father was comparing it to standing in the ocean, where the water is up to your knees. Most of the times the waves come and go and you’re fairly steady. You feel the movement but can keep your balance. Then out of nowhere comes a big wave that knocks you right under, and you sputter and flail and gasp for air, until you stand again.
That’s when you realize that up and down the beach, millions of people are in their own spot in that same cycle.
Well, when it comes to grief about the pandemic, Friday was a wave that took me under. Feels like it’s taking me forever to stand up.
It should have been a good day. And it was, in a lot of ways. Two weeks ago today, the first case of COVID-19 was announced at my mom’s nursing home in Upstate New York, and my siblings leapt into action, pulling Mom out and moving her into my sister’s house. Both Mom and my sister feel fine after 14 days of self-isolation; even better than that and to no one’s surprise, my mother is OVER THE MOON to be staying with my sister. Yesterday, my sister offered to have Mom stay there permanently, since it’s working out so nicely and besides, the travel and tourism industry in which my sister works has been severely impacted by the pandemic. Given that the nursing home is now up to 20 cases of COVID inside, it was the answer to a prayer. It was a good thing.
Our college daughters are continuing to grind out their college classes online without complaint. The senior invited us to join her for a Zoom call with her school’s Dance Department for what should have been the Student Choreographer Showcase, where we got to see a little clip of the dance she had choreographed for five dancers before school moved online mid-March. The younger daughter planned to participate in her own 4-hour at-home Dance Marathon over the weekend as a fundraiser for a club she loves at school. My husband’s getting used to negotiating deals from the kitchen table. My mother-in-law in Florida may basically be under house arrest due to the lack of social distancing in the state, but she’s healthy and has a nice place to live. All good things.
I even got to go to a concert on Friday! One of my favorites, Bob Schneider, did a Livestream show and I “went” with my friend Tiffany, who lives two blocks away. We each sat in front of our computers at the appointed time and texted each other commentary throughout while we sipped our Friday cocktails and admired Bob’s many qualities that include but are not limited to excellent songwriting and the world’s most appealing growl. It was a good thing.
And then, a half hour after the concert ended, I went out to the front porch to cry so my family would not hear me.
Because it wasn’t until I watched 2D Digital Bob for an hour that I absorbed what our inability to gather in large crowds safely for, realistically, at least a year, really means. And it hit me hard.
I go to concerts once a month. That’s what I do. That’s who I am. That’s how I press the red reset button on the machinery here, to remind me of what matters. I love being in the middle of a bunch of diverse strangers who come together because they all love the same music. I love staying up late (once a month, anyway.) I love comparing the live version of a song to something I’ve been listening to for weeks or years. I super-love stage patter.
And none of that is happening again, my friends, not in person, until maybe Spring 2021 if we’re lucky. Maybe longer.
I suppose I wept for that loss of connection – to myself, and to the concert crowd, and to the musicians. I wept for all the performers who are going to struggle even harder than they already were, now that they can’t tour. I wept for all the creative ways that musicians are continuing to try to connect with their fans, the heart that it takes to come up with livestreams and radio hours and Instagram live shows when really, they’re just as scared and bored and worried as the rest of us, only they’re having to put a smile on and perform.
But I also wept for the 20 sweet people at Mom’s nursing home, wondering which of the elderly residents or caring staff who I have met during Mom’s time there might be impacted. I wept for the loss of my whip-smart sister’s meticulously crafted 2020 career plan. I wept because my mother-in-law can’t even go outside for fear of running into one of these idiot people who doesn’t like to be inconvenienced by not going to Bubba Gump’s Shrimp during a pandemic. I wept because my daughters should not have to dance alone, in front of a computer, as they wrap up their academic years.
I am not asking for pity. I’m soaking in privilege. We have a roof over our heads and food in the pantry and our jobs. I understand how lucky I am. I think maybe what made me cry most of all is the fear that we will go back to how things were before, the minute we have the chance to, without fixing any of the systematic problems that are making things so unnecessarily bad for people who don’t have the same advantages that I do.
That’s it. I often write about hope and gratitude and humor. And I will again. But if you’re feeling like you’re struggling in the waves today, look for me on the virtual beach. I’m waving back at you.
The Tiger and The Lamb – my forever request at a Bob Schneider show, analog or digital #BurgerInYourBunTonight
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April 14, 2020
Ep 72 Being Black at School Founder Kelly Hurst
photo: Karen Walrond
“Notice that people have been left out”: Kelly Wickham Hurst of Being Black at School talks about tackling systemic racism, the midlife freedom that comes from saying “I don’t know,” and Wham! in that minute when they were still Wham!UK.
Being Black at School website
@mochamomma on Twitter
East Oakland Collective
PrepareToLaunchU.com
MaskUpForAmerica.org
I’m not sure 14-year-old Kelly would agree, but for me this song represents Peak George Michael
Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here!
The post Ep 72 Being Black at School Founder Kelly Hurst appeared first on Midlife Mixtape .
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March 24, 2020
Ep 71 Listeners’ Youthful Shenanigans
Photo by Jan Kopřiva
“I must have been insane. No, just a teenager”: Designed to distract you momentarily from your current worries, this listener-contributed episode shares youthful tales of awkwardness, getting in over our heads, and debauchery our kids and parents would NEVER believe.
Badminton phenom Rochelle’s blog, The Late Arrival
The Thank-You Project: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time – order or download Nancy’s new book!
Thank you, Matthew, for suggesting Burning Sensations’ “Belly of the Whale ”!
Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here!
The post Ep 71 Listeners’ Youthful Shenanigans appeared first on Midlife Mixtape .
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March 18, 2020
Your Most Infamous Youthful Shenanigans
What the world, needs now, is love, sweet love, but also distraction from the anxiety we’re all feeling around Coronavirus. I KNOW you are social distancing and staying home and washing your hands so I’m not even going to insult you by pleading to you with every fiber of my being to do those things. Here in the Bay Area we’re at the start of (at least) three weeks of Shelter In Place, so I’ve got time on my hands to put together a new podcast episode. And I want to hear from YOU, for another one of our fun “Listeners’ Stories” episodes.
We are desperate for laughs, so I went with a podcast topic I think could work:
Your most infamous youthful shenanigans!
That time you “borrowed” the car from your neighbor’s driveway, or showed up dressed for a Pajama Day that wasn’t, or snuck firecrackers into the church service. I, for one, hope that my high school friend who ended a memorable Saturday evening groaning, “I am not an animal! I am a human being. I am a man!” from the bed where we had tied him for his own safety will send in that story, but it’s his to tell. David.
Tell us about what you got away with that would shock your kids (I’ll credit “Anonymous” if it helps) or, my personal favorite, what you got BUSTED for – those stories are usually even better. Since we have more time at home right now, let’s use some of it to sift through that treasure chest of youthful GenX memories and bring out the good stuff.
Lots of ways to send in your answer:
Leave a comment on this blog post
Email me your story to dj@midlifemixtape.com
Send me a tweet or Instagram comment – find me @midlifemixtape
Leave me a voice mail right from your computer! If you’re reading this on your desktop or mobile device, you’ll see a blue button on the right hand side that says, “Tell us your most infamous youthful shenanigans story!” Just press it, and you can start recording with one click. I would LOVE for people to do this so I can incorporate your actual voice on the episode!
Record a voice memo into your phone and email it to dj@midlifemixtape.com. Again, it would be so cool to hear and share your story in your actual voice.
And to sweeten the deal, I will choose one lucky person at random from everyone who sends in a story to win a signed copy of my book, The Thank-You Project, from my personal stash here in the office. (I’ve checked – post offices are considered Essential Services so they remain open. For now. If I have to send it later, we’ll all be cool, right?)
I’ll compile all the stories I get into an episode for your listening pleasure next week. This has a quick turnaround – send me your stories by Sunday night, March 22!
I know you are freaked out right now. I am too. But we will get through this and back to creating midlife shenanigans. (The mantra I rely on is “This is temporary. This is temporary.” And the more seriously we take all the precautions we know we should take, the more temporary it will be.)
C’mon, troublemakers, adventure seekers, and hilarity finders, take a deep breath, a break from the worry, and tell us what you’ve got!
In other words, to keep from going stir crazy, tell us about the time you took Prince’s advice seriously.
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March 13, 2020
Loads of Distractions
A basket of puppies to apply medicinally as needed
In the past 72 hours the best way I’ve had to shake off my anxiety is to pick up a book that’s coming out in June called The Chicken Sisters, by my pal KJ Dell’Antonia. Sure, I’m triangulating travel for the youngest college kid, worrying about the ban on visitors at my mom’s Assisted Living place, and watching all the concerts I was looking forward to get cancelled one by one, but for whole fifteen minute chunks at time I get lost inside the fictional drama of which sister’s restaurant was going to win $100,000 from the Food Wars reality show for serving the best fried chicken. (You should pre-order the book at your local indie bookstore now – call them up and check how they’re doing! And in June when the world is back to normal, you’ll have a great read all lined up.)
The point is, I very much needed the distraction. And I bet you could use some too. So I’ve lined up bunch of things to get you to STOP scrolling social media for ten seconds and allow you to take a couple of deep breaths and allow your brain to turn off the Worry/Repeat/Worry/Repeat cycle.
Listen to Podcasts!
Think of this as a time to binge shows you may not have had time to listen to in the past! To that end, I asked some great podcast creators to suggest a “flight” of shows to get you hooked.
On giving yourself permission to be happy
A conversation on racism, colorism, interracial relationships, immigration and more
Calm in the time of coronavirus
For super fun celebrity ear candy
For creating more positivity in your life to help you reach your goals
For laughing until you cry
Prioritizing romance **indoor fun LOL
How to increase your election impact when you’re exhausted
Home hustle tactics
The Life-Changing Magic of Opting Out
“Mommy Needs Wine” & Other Problematic Mom-Tropes
Parenting “Fair” vs. Parenting To The Child
Single Mom Dating: The Hilarious, the Horrible, the Heartbreaking
Everything I Lost in the Gulf of Divorce
Entrepreneurship as a Single Mom
#AmWriting with Jess and KJ – use some of this unplanned at-home time to finally write that book!
The Full Proposal
Novel Preparations
First Timer Mistakes
And of course Midlife Mixtape
Ballerina Aesha Ash
NPR Music Critic Ann Powers
Happiness Curve Author Jonathan Rauch
Plus, a grab bag of my favorite episodes of some of my favorite podcasts:
Lore: First Impressions (omg I once was late to a high school PTA meeting because I was driving in loops around the high school listening to the end of this saying, “What WHAT WHHHHAAAAATTTTT?”)
Song Exploder: Semisonic’s Closing Time (this song that we all know is NOT what you think it’s about)
Mobituaries with Mo Rocca: Chang and Eng, A Messy American Dream (you’ll end up Googling for days afterward)
Read books!
I feel SO badly for authors whose books are coming out in March and April 2020 – with readings and events and lit conferences getting cancelled left and right it’s going to be extra hard for them to get traction. Glennon Doyle has a wonderful thread over on Twitter inviting authors publishing right now to share their work so the rest of us can order (online or, again, call your indie bookstore and ask them to get it for you!)
Feeling for all the authors launching books this week…. we try to plan for everything but a global pandemic is a toughie. Post your books here. I’m ordering all of them. All. We’ll get through this together. Respect and Love.
— Glennon Doyle (@GlennonDoyle) March 12, 2020
And here’s a list of March and April titles from a FB writer’s group I’m in – if any of these appeal to you, it would be a great time to snap them up! (I’m grabbing the Beth Lisick title, I adore her.)
MARCH
Silverman, Sue William ~ HOW TO SURVIVE DEATH AND OTHER INCONVENIENCES, memoir-in-essays, University of Nebraska Press, March, 1, 2020.
Knox, Jen. RESOLUTIONS (novel in stories), AUXmedia, March 3, 2020.
Lee, DJ. REMOTE: FINDING HOME IN THE BITTERROOTS. Oregon State Univ. Press. March 3, 2020.
Chow, Jennifer J. MIMI LEE GETS A CLUE (cozy mystery), Berkley/Penguin Random House, March 10, 2020.
Goenawan, Clarissa. THE PERFECT WORLD OF MIWAKO SUMIDA (novel) Soho Press. March 10, 2020.
Bartz, Andrea. THE HERD (thriller) Ballantine, March 24, 2020.
Winn, Rebecca. One Hundred Daffodils: Finding Beauty, Grace, and Meaning When Things Fall Apart (literary nonfiction/memoir in essays), Grand Central Publishing/Hachette Book Group, March 24, 2020.
Lisick, Beth. EDIE ON THE GREEN SCREEN (novel) 7.13 Books, March 26, 2020.
Skillicorn, Jodie. HEALING DEPRESSION WITHOUT MEDICATIONS: A PSYCHIATRIST”S GUIDE TO BALANCING MIND, BODY & SOUL. North Atlantic Publishing. March 17, 2020
Kadetsky, Elizabeth. THE MEMORY EATERS (winner of the 2019 Juniper Prize in Creative Nonfiction/lyric memoir in essays). University of Massachusetts Press. March 31, 2020
APRIL
Hammer, Alison. YOU AND ME AND US (upmarket women’s fiction) William Morrow (HarperCollins), April 7, 2020
McConnell, Ruby. A GIRL’S GUIDE TO THE WILD NATURE JOURNAL AND ACTIVITY BOOK (middlegrade) Sasquatch Books, April 9, 2020
Klein, Amy. THE TRYING GAME: GET THROUGH FERTILITY TREATMENT AND GET PREGNANT WITHOUT LOSING YOUR MIND (nonfiction) Ballantine (Penguin/Random House) April 7, 2020
Meeropol, Ellen. HER SISTER’S TATTOO (fiction) Red Hen Press, April 7, 2020
Lewinson, Ann. STILL LIFE WITH MEREDITH (novella) Outpost19, April 7, 2020
Frier, Sarah. NO FILTER: THE INSIDE STORY OF INSTAGRAM (nonfiction) Simon & Schuster, April 14, 2020
McConnell, Ruby. GROUND TRUTH: A GEOLOGICAL SURVEY OF A LIFE (nonfiction) Overcup Press, April 19, 2020
Volz, Alia. HOME BAKED: MY MOM, MARIJUANA, AND THE STONING OF SAN FRANCISCO (nonfiction) Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, April 20, 2020.
Sligar, Sara. TAKE ME APART (fiction/suspense). MCD / FSG, April 28, 2020.
Dolson, Nikki. LOVE & OTHER CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR (short stories), Bronzeville Books, April 2020.
Do Things Outside
Seriously. Go outside. As long as you keep your 6-feet distance, you can walk with friends and catch each other up on what’s happening under your roof. Your body needs the exercise and your brain needs the break and your heart needs the support. Even if it’s raining, try to get outside.
I’m debating throwing a “Social Distancing Cocktail Hour” next week in my neighborhood, where we all bring our own beverages and stand six feet apart in the road and shout encouragement at each other. The kids can zoom around on their bikes and scooters while we block traffic. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Be a Helper
If you’re healthy, ask a neighbor who might be older or have compromised health what they need from the grocery store or pharmacy. Maybe rake their lawn or shovel their snow or whatever is needed in your particular climate that shows them they’re not forgotten and gives you something to do besides refresh the CDC website. True story: I asked my 70-something nextdoor neighbor what I could grab her at the grocery store yesterday and she answered, “Lay’s Potato Chips.” I needed that.
Call an older person you know and say hi and listen to them. They’re scared right now by the news (and if they aren’t, they’re probably watching the wrong channel) but it sure helps to know someone is thinking of you.
Keep Feeling Around for Gratitude
Hard as hell this week. I know it. But I type these sentences as I sit in a warm house with a stocked pantry and 75% of my family at home, rising to 100% by 8 pm tonight. That’s already a ton to be thankful for. (Obligatory mention – here’s a link to the book I wrote about gratitude in case you want to read or listen to it in days ahead.)
Maybe there’s a warm dog at your feet as you’re reading this, or you have a good show to watch later, or one of the aforementioned books is calling your name. There are still chocolate chip cookies and footrubs and here in NorCal, the trees are blossoming in a way that makes it impossible not to smile for at least a sec. However bad it is, look around you for something, someone good.
I’m right there with you, ok? None of us is alone. And all of this is temporary.
Xoxo
Nan
The post Loads of Distractions appeared first on Midlife Mixtape .
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