Nancy Davis Kho's Blog, page 16

Urfiss Good: The Remix

Back in 2014 I dashed off a post called “Urfiss Good,” about how the mispronunciation by my daughter as a toddler of “Earth is good,” a refrain from a favorite children’s book, was a useful mantra for noticing the glimmers of hope in the cloud of despair. It blows my mind that I’ve gone four years without needing a remix, but here we are. I am sputtering out of gas from a constant outrage (porn star sues our sitting President! And I’m cheering for the porn star!) insult (Betsy DeVos goes to Parkland and doesn’t actually engage with students,) and fear (oh, hey, Nazi/Russian takeover.)

The things I was worried about in 2014 seem downright quotidian in 2018, although upon rereading, no, no they don’t. There has always been bad news. There have always been bad politicians and policies. And we have always managed, somehow.

Maybe part of the managing is taking a moment to remind ourselves what’s good. I don’t know about you but I feel overdue for a hit of Urfiss Good. What’s better for you in 2018 than it was in 2014? What’s a thing that at least hasn’t changed for the worse? I’m going to give my list and I invite you to add yours in the comments (and read what other people have written there.)

Deep breaths. Urfiss Good.

The New York Times has rolled out a new “Overlooked” section of obits of women they should have covered and didn’t, starting with Ida B. Wells. Related: I highly recommend this book I’ve been savoring, Women in the World of Frederick Douglass. She’s in there, too.
Years ago, Denzel Washington paid for Chadwick Boseman’s theater studies and that investment turned into the Black Panther and paying it forward really works.
Black Panther in general, and Shuri’s science skills and Coachella dreams in particular.
Ari chose Lauren B on The Bachelor this season, and although this means that any offspring they conceive will have a negative IQ and exactly one sentence it can utter – “I love thaaaaaat” – at least they’re not inflicting that damage on two other, innocent family trees.
The Parkland students and their bomb-ass public-school-attained public speaking skills are breathing oxygen into the gun safety argument in a way that we know feels different and, for the first time in years, hopeful.
At the DMV this week when my youngest daughter was getting her driver’s license, we were in and out in just over an hour, everyone in line was patient, and the Oakland DMV staff was unfailingly helpful. Yes, I buried the headline there.
My niece’s boyfriend proposed the night before Valentine’s Day because he was too excited to wait.
#ResistanceGenealogy is a thing. And the genius behind it will be on the Midlife Mixtape podcast in a few weeks.
Airborne wind energy is a thing. Basically, giant kites to run your TV.
A super fancy French bakery opened nearby in what used to be a greasy burger joint, and now I can walk eight minutes to find the almond croissant de mon rêves français.
My pal Major Mary Jennings Hegar is crushing it in Texas 31st. She’s a war hero, a mom, and a progressive Democrat who emerged with the highest percentage of votes in the Dem primary this week…but still has to beat her Dem challenger in a runoff at the end of May before she faces the real opponent, a twelve-year Republican incumbent. Check her out, help her out!
This song.  Heeyyyyyyy Cocteau Twins fans

Ok your turn. What’s good?

                   
CommentsJinx only Find Replace “Ann Imig.” by Nancy Davis KhoAlthough let's be honest. Even if that's all you've got…that ... by Nancy Davis KhoI have a wise hilarious talented wonderful friend that I love ... by Ann ImigPharma Bro got sentenced to 7 years in prison and is going to ... by EllenRelated StoriesTake Me AwayHappy Better Year Next YearI Got Your Card! 

Concert Review: Rostam

The Band: Rostam, February 23 2018. Rostam’s debut solo album Half-Light came out in 2017 and its dreamy, synthy, world music-y vibe is on frequent play at this house, by all family members. Vampire Weekend fans rejoice; the indie projects of its founding members like Rostam Batmanglij are reputedly not a sign that VW is breaking up, but rather that they’re overflowing with so much talent and ambition that one band can’t possibly contain it all. Witness Rostam’s work as a songwriter and record producer for acts like Charlie XCX, Ty Dolla Sign, and Carly Rae Jepson. That, or it’s a conscious band uncoupling. Time will tell.

The Venue: Slim’s in San Francisco, as part of NoisePop 2018. Well, the day finally came where I would use my spendy, all-access, all-shows NoisePop pass to go to at least ONE show this year. What can I say, my concert going dreams are bigger than my calendar openings.

The Company: My 17-year-old youngest daughter, she of the “no thanks, I’ve got homework and/or ballet” excuse most times when I invite her to a concert with me. We had to laugh remembering the last time we were at Slim’s together, six years ago, to see Harry and the Potters. That time, she wore a lightning bolt drawn on her forehead with an eyeliner pencil. This time, the young ladies hawking a certain vodka brand kept trying to give her cards for free drinks, despite both of us saying, “No! Not 21 yet! Seriously, not 21!” Time sure flies.

The Crowd: Phoneless, by Rostam’s decree. Well, they had their phones, but there was a big sign on the door saying that video and still photos were expressly forbidden. I am so glad that this trend is catching fire (good article in this week’s Rolling Stone  on it here) so that even in a venue like Slim’s where it’s general admission, you have a chance at seeing the act onstage because they’re not obscured by upstretched arms holding phones. Of course, there was one guy who filmed anyway, and another taking photos from behind me, using a flash, because there are idiots in every crowd. But Slim’s staff swooped right in and spoke to them.

Of course, this means I have no photos for this review. I think we’ll live.

Opening Band: Opening band High Sunn is fronted by 17-year-old San Francisco student Justin Cheromiah and his merry band of teenage buddies. I realized their set was a good chance to motivate my daughter. I turned to her and said, “Uh, a 15-year-old Russian girl just won the Olympic gold in ladies figure skating and these kids are opening for Rostam. What have YOU done lately?” (Besides be offered free drink tix, which admittedly is not nothing.)

I really dug High Sunn, with their clear reverence for the ‘80s. They sounded like the Housemartins meets New Order, but more than that: the drummer wore denim overalls with only one strap buckled. Raise your hand if the “Come On Eileen” video made that look a wardrobe staple for you in the first half of that decade.

The other two opening bands were fine but due to my exhaustion at being old and having to stand up through three opening bands, I got crabby and decided I wouldn’t write about them. It’s on me, not them.

Worth Hiring the Sitter? Gwan and do it.

Half a song into his set I leaned over to my daughter and whispered, “This is the difference between an opener and a headliner.” He may only have one album out under his own power, but all those Vampire Weekend shows mean that Batmanglij is the consummate professional, starting with the beauty and emotion of his studio album and layering on in live performance. He uses a lot of strings in his arrangements and pointed out how wonderful and weird it was that the audience was cheering on the cello section with gusto usually reserved for sports teams.

You can see why the cello cheers with this song, “Wood.”

It was a short-ish set, to be expected for a musician with a single solo album to his name – he did throw in a beautiful cover of Nick Drake’s “Pink Moon.” You know it’s a good show when even after three opening acts I wish he’d played longer.

Rostam is one of a new breed of musicians who are out and open and matter of fact about their sexuality. In the same way that representation onscreen got shout-outs at the Oscars this week, I’m guessing that the sight of a gay man headlining a rock show was inspiring to many in the sold-out audience who may harbor their own music dreams. May it be so.

Rostam’s on tour through spring at least – check here for tour dates!

 ***

Oh yeah and I’m doing a thing, too – come out to the Make-Out Room in San Francisco tomorrow night, Wednesday March 7, at 7 pm to hear MoonDrop Productions’ “Mixtape Memories” night. My reading touches on Kid N’ Play’s “House Party,”  my 1983 effort to compile the biggest collection of pirated tapes in Western New York, and the phrase “Heaven forfend.” See you there?

                  Related StoriesToo Pooped to NoisePopConcert Review: First Aid KitConcert Review: Sheila E. 

Ep 24 Chainstitch Wrangler Kathie Sever

“This weird zig-zagging mishmash:” Custom embroidery designer Kathie Sever on being grateful for her circuitous life path, the sustainability trade off between customization and efficiency, and how craft keeps the humanity in a digital world.

Kathie’s custom and camp garment company, Ft. Lonesome
Ft Lonesome on Instagram

One performer who probably gets a nice discount on his Ft. Lonesome stagewear – Matt the Electrician aka Mr. Kathie Sever. Read more about him and check out tour dates here.

Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the Midlife Mixtape podcast – check him out here!

                  Related StoriesEp 22 Decluttering Expert Dana WhiteEp 21 Maternal Health Advocate Sera BondsEp 20 Band Manager Amber Buist 

Not the Trip We Expected

One of the biggest parenting adjustments I’ve made since our oldest daughter started college in 2016 is shifting from doer to observer. It wasn’t like she needed a ton of our help even in high school; I thought I was motivated and organized, but she wipes me and the floor with her neatly checked to-do lists and color coordinated whiteboard planner.

Still, when they’re living under your roof, it’s easier to offer your hands-on help in matters of school, friends, jobs, and the like. According to all the experts, when they’re in college, the parenting goal is to be a wise, reflective listener. “You seem really excited about your English class compared to your Statistics class. Have you thought about looking into whether an English minor could be an option?” because you loved her writing so much in high school and it kills you that she’s not doing more of it. Or “When you tell me stories about your friend Sue, they seem to always end with her changing plans at the last minute and leaving you stranded.” Weighted silence in which you hope she’ll realize she needs move on from Sue. C’mon! Pick up what I’m laying down!  You are aware of the decisions. But you are not supposed to be IN the decisions.

Tell that to my anxiety levels during the past month, in which our daughter’s long-held plans for studying abroad her junior year were tossed about like sneakers in an industrial dryer.

Study Abroad is a foundational Davis Kho family value. I spent a semester in Vienna in 1987 perfecting my German which was the reason I could do a job interview auf Deutsch a year later which is the reason I got a job in Munich which is the reason I got into grad school for international business which is where I met my husband which is the reason we have an older daughter to be anxious about. Our girls know this is an expectation. Even if my husband and I screwed up and forgot to raise our children overseas, we fervently believe that a semester abroad is key to building empathy, global citizenship, and curiosity, all of which is needed in 2018 more than ever. Also, it would be terrible parenting to not go visit your children when they live abroad. #TravelExcuse

Study abroad was a primary reason our daughter picked the school she did. As a Mechanical Engineering major, it’s not easy to find a school that will support your desire to go overseas – so many required courses that must be taken in a specific order. Her school says it sends a higher percentage of engineers abroad than any other, so with that assurance and a sickening acceptance that my entire salary was going to its coffers for four years, she/we said yes.

Fast forward a year and things are going swimmingly on all counts, including wise, reflective parenting. “It sounds like the London program for the fall of 2018 is going to be perfect for you! And you must be really pleased to have had all the courses approved by your MechE professors, the dean, the program you’re working through, and the Global Ed office! That definitely took a lot of time in an already busy semester, but you’ve gotten it all done. That’s something to be proud of.” Over Christmas break we discussed whether we should celebrate Christmas in London, whether we could add on a visit to Munich to see Mom’s old stomping grounds, whether Scandinavia in the winter would be fun or depressing.

Hahahhahahaha, God. I get it. Best laid plans.

Earlier this month, exactly one week before all Study Abroad plans for Fall 2018 had to be finalized, our daughter called. Not in a panic, more bemused: “Huh. The college in London just cancelled the Dynamics class I have to take that semester. But I think I have a few options.” In the days that followed, the frequency and tension of the phone calls increased as Options B, C, then D – K fizzled out one by one. No summer classes available, no switching courses around, no doubling up courses in preceding or ensuing semesters. “It seems like you are trying everything. It sounds like you’re not getting much help. It sounds like you are rightfully freaking out and in that, I join you.”

That’s when the exercise called “Chase Dynamics Around the Globe” began. Where WERE the study abroad programs that a.) offered Dynamics b.) would be recognized by her university c.) could be applied to with an already-written essay by doing “Find, Replace” to switch out London for whatever city it was?

It’s Dublin! No, it’s Auckland! No, it’s Christchurch! No, it’s Sydney! No, it’s a different program in Dublin!

With each phone or text update for the next week, I wisely reflected my tusch off. “That sounds like a great program! I’d love to come visit you in that city! Sounds like a perfect fit! No? It doesn’t work? Never mind!” At one point the whole study abroad dream seemed completely doomed, at which point I dug deep with, “Well, if you are in Central Pennsylvania for that semester, too, and all your friends are abroad, you will make new friends!” Wasn’t much help and we both knew it. At least I didn’t mention Pennsylvania Dutch pretzels.

That’s when Professor B rode to the rescue. He wouldn’t let our daughter take No Study Abroad for an answer and made it his mission to help her, brainstorming alternatives and corralling all the requisite approvals. He told her that he remembered meeting my husband and me during Parents Weekend of her freshman year and that we’d talked his ear off about study abroad. Yes, that sounds plausible. The upshot, a week later and a day before the study abroad deadline?

Limerick, Ireland. A city none of us has visited, desired to visit, or knows anything about. From the Wikipedia page it sure looks pretty. Sounded like the perfect recipe for a mind-opening semester abroad.

And then, of course, the school in Limerick cancelled its Dynamics class. Back to the starting line.

There once was a mom needing Xanax…

It’s the end of February. She has a new destination and a plan to make it work which, for fear of jinxing anything, I will not share until she is on Day 11 of classes next fall. Though I’m optimistic that this plan will stick, I have wisely reflected to her that her cynicism on this topic is well earned.

And if I go nowhere else to visit her next fall, I can still say I’ve gone for a ride.

via GIPHY

I have sung this as “..I, I, I, can’t find my luggage” since the second time I heard it.

                   
CommentsScandinavia in the winter IS actually shockingly lovely please ... by Elizabeth Clayton WesterPS that Lisa Stanfield song brought back my entire year abroad ... by ShiraFirst of all, your daughter is studying mechanical engineering, ... by ShiraMy husband and I met in grad school in Wales, which was study ... by EllenRelated StoriesThe Nutcracker, Through 2017-Colored Lenses 

Too Pooped to NoisePop

Four months ago, when February 2018 was but 28 blank, bare, beckoning squares on my calendar, I decided to splash out for a NoisePop Festival badge. NoisePop is a San Francisco music festival every February that features edgy, emerging acts spread out in venues all over town for a full week. The badge gives me access to any and all of them, no forethought involved – just show up for a show.

Talk about a great way of super charging my knowledge of new music! I recognized approximately 7% of the many performers playing the festival – when tUnE-YaRds is the mainstream headliner, you know these are some fringy musicians I’d be seeing.

And the fact that I’d be going to shows by myself was part of the appeal. I never did end up writing the concert review, but I went to a concert alone for the first time in my life last November, to see Tommy Stinson (of The Replacements) and Chip Roberts playing the “Cowboys in the Campfire” tour. The first two people I met at the show were Tommy and Chip, and the last two people I hugged goodbye at the show (there were others, it was a friendly bunch) were Tommy and Chip. That was cool and made me wonder whether I shouldn’t have branched out into solo-concert-going much earlier.

Maybe that’s why back in November, I’m envisioning myself waving that NoisePop badge as I slip in to see Tino Drima, Magic Magic Roses, High Sunn, Bat Fangs, and whatever other band names catch my fancy. Because February was so WIDE OPEN. Nothing’s going on in February, right?

Here’s the reality of February 2018. There is so dingle dangle much going on that I literally don’t have the 55 minutes it will take to pop into San Francisco and back to pick up my NoisePop badge, much less go to any of the concerts. Those 28 calendar squares may be there somewhere, but they’re buried under scrawls of “CnC meeting” and “take dinner to John” and “organize taxes!” I’m not sure why I thought that my real life was planning to give me 1/12th of the year off, but there you go. I blame Tommy and Chip.

It’s not like the badge was cheap. At the end of the day I can live with what I paid because it supports independent artists and the local music scene. My younger daughter wants to see Rostam next Friday night, so that will happen. But really. For what I paid, I have to do at LEAST one more thing on the schedule. So I scrolled through the full agenda the other day and saw a listing that intrigued me: a Sleep Concert. Specifically, “Robert Rich’s Sleep Concert in collaboration with Flow Kana, branded distributor of craft sun grown cannabis.”

via GIPHY

I was confused. Then intrigued. Then after reading the description below, confused again.

Sure to be one of the most unique and rare offerings this year, ambient musician Robert Rich will play music from 11:30 p.m. to 8:00 a.m. as attendees relax in the room and drift off to sleep. And even though Rich is from the Bay Area, this will be the first time in recent years he’s performed a Sleep Concert for local audiences.

Honestly, I like the idea of a concert while I’m sleeping. That fits my current schedule. I could go to a show and still get my 7-minus-bathroom-breaks-minus-4am useless worrying interlude-minus-why-am-I-up-at-5:30 am? hours of sleep. But I have a few questions.

It’s valued at $40/ticket? To sleep through the show? I feel like I can sleep for free most nights.
What could possibly go wrong with falling asleep amidst a sea of baked strangers? Especially if you’re a woman. No risks there.
Is anyone actually sure that Rich has played a Sleep Concert anywhere because, by definition, his audience wouldn’t be aware of that?
Does anyone think I am actually going to fall asleep in a public place and risk have someone post a viral video of me snoring, thereby disproving my “it’s not me who snores, it’s YOU who snores!” defense to my husband?

At the end of the day, I’ve decided there is real value of my NoisePop badge. Because it will give me what the Germans might call Stornierungsfreude: The Joy of Cancellation.

“Two boys, one to kiss your neck and one to bring you breakfast…” add in a third boy to bring me a New York Times and a fourth to clean the kitchen, you’ve just described my perfect Sunday. We’re stoked to see Rostam on Friday, anyway.

                  Related StoriesConcert Review: First Aid KitConcert Review: Sheila E.Concert Review: Father John Misty 

Ep 23 Musician Kathy Valentine

“I really like to be scared:” The Go-Go’s bassist Kathy Valentine on the band’s legacy and upcoming “Head Over Heels” musical, her thirst for lifelong learning, and the magic that comes from following those interests that tug at your heart.

Kathy’s website – including links to her latest solo work
Head Over Heels musical – info from The Curran San Francisco
Head Over Heels musical – info from Hudson Theatre Broadway
She Factory – Assembling the Talent of Women in the Arts

Kathy with the Bluebonnets making it rain on “Psychometer” in NYC in 2014…

Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the Midlife Mixtape podcast – check him out here!

                  Related StoriesEp 22 Decluttering Expert Dana WhiteEp 21 Maternal Health Advocate Sera BondsEp 20 Band Manager Amber Buist 

I Got Your Card!

This post is sponsored by Falling Leaf Card Co.

I pride myself on being forward-looking in my music tastes, or at least not listening to all ‘80s music, all the time. But there’s one area where I’m totally Team 20th Century (Or Earlier,) and that’s in my appreciation of a handwritten note.

There are definitely communication advantages to living in the always-on digital world, like the ability to call my mom while I’m out on a walk, or Instagram my college daughter a picture, or the theoretical promise of having my husband respond to a text immediately. (I say theoretical because a friend recently asked how frequently my husband texts me, and I double checked my phone, and the answer is “Twice a year, and only if I mention that I’m about to use power tools for a home repair project.”)

But none of that is quite the same as opening your mailbox and seeing the actual handwriting of an actual person about whom you care, who has taken the time to procure, write, address, and mail you their thoughts. I mean, leave it to 2018 to make the act of sending a card seem quaint and artisanal when it was the only way to go until the Year of our Lord AOL.

I was thinking about this in relation to my college age daughter, with whom I am in frequent digital contact. It’s wonderful to get her texts– between those and stalking following her on social media, I have a pretty good sense of what she’s up to most of the time, even if she is in school 3,000 miles away. So I didn’t send her much in the way of physical mail her first year at school.

But a couple of weeks ago, she sent a beautiful card to my husband and me to thank us for her relaxing winter break, during which she recovered from a punishing semester of five mechanical engineering classes by sleeping a solid 16 hours/day. We managed (only just) not to freak out about that by recognizing that she was pretty depleted, and the reward for our forbearance was a card that I have reread daily since she sent it. It was approximately 3654% better than a “Thanks Mom!” bitmoji, not that I’ve lab tested it yet, so that’s a ballpark figure.

That she took the time to find a card, write on it with an actual pen, and mail it to us is the cherry on top of the ice cream on top of a graham cracker crust of thanks. It was extra work she didn’t technically have to do, but chose to, and, well, she has just laid the groundwork for sleeping in every day during Summer 2018 without her parents saying a peep.

It shamed me a little bit, really, to think how many times I’ve sent a text when a physical card would have said so much more. I should know better. So I was delighted to come across Falling Leaf Card Co., which has a line of whimsical, nature-inspired cards and gifts created by artist Lee Connellee, designed to bring you closer to the people you cherish.

Having a stash of their cards around – and they sent me the selection, above, so I could see for myself – will make it a lot easier to send the right card at the right time. And their journals, tote bags, coasters, and other gift items are exactly the kind of stuff I stock up on for the Present Closet, that mythical cupboard to which I turn when I want to give something nice to someone and don’t have time to run to the store.

With Valentine’s Day coming up, Falling Leaf’s Valentine’s cards can definitely save your bacon. I’m not suggesting that YOU ever end up at the drugstore late on Feb 13 looking through the picked-over card selection. But if you were to stock up on a few Falling Leaf designs ahead of mid Feb, you DEFINITELY will not be deciding whether your spouse will be offended by receiving a card that reads, “For A Cousin Who Means So Much.”

To make it extra easy to roll into Valentine’s Day 2018, Falling Leaf is offering Midlife Mixtape readers a 15% discount off their first order, from now until February 14. Just enter the code “MIXTAPE” at FallingLeafCardCo.com to take advantage of this offer.

But wait, there’s more! Want to win a gift bag of Falling Leaf cards and gifts? Leave a comment below by Friday, Feb 9 at 5 pm PT and let me know the person from whom you’d most like to receive a handwritten card. I’ll pick a winner at random using random.org and voila – you’ll get an assortment of Falling Leaf’s cheery greeting cards and other goodies.

In the meanwhile, I’m going to send one of these heart cards to send to my daughter at college, and I know she’ll be happy to receive it. Especially because it doesn’t arrive with a beep that interrupts her sleep.

I’ve always loved this song and this unexpected musical pairing.

                   
CommentsP.S. I always like getting cards from my friend Nancy Davis ... by Lisa Rosenberg“The Year of Our Lord AOL” Perfect. by Lisa RosenbergMy father. He passed away this past October and I miss him ... by AlrobeI miss the days of sending cards too. My twin boys are away ... by Stefanie Manalo-LeClairI too am a BIG fan of sending cards, even though my handwriting ... by Liz @ ewmcguirePlus 5 more...Related StoriesTake Me AwaySaving My Self-ImportanceHappy Better Year Next Year 

Ep 22 Decluttering Expert Dana White

“Turn that creativity wheel:” Decluttering expert Dana White unpacks why less stuff means more creativity, how GenXers can help downsizing parents and kids leaving home, and the challenges and payoffs of living in the now.

Dana’s site, A Slob Comes Clean
A Slob Comes Clean podcast and DeclutterTV
Enter for your chance to win a copy of Dana’s new book, Decluttering at the Speed of Life: Winning Your Never Ending Battle with Stuff ! Just leave a comment below with your favorite house-cleaning jam and I’ll choose a winner at random at 5 pm PT on Tuesday, Feb 13.

My kind of clean up song – not so fast it creates a dance party, not so slow I lay down my trash bag to rest, not in my key so I can’t sing along. I love Oakland homie Merrill Garbus aka tUnE-yArDs who is so creative that she can’t even spell TuneYards without going nuts on the fonts. Bonus: they could repurpose the paper bags in this video for decluttering!

                   
CommentsThe soundtrack for The Parent Trap (the one with Lindsey ... by Lisa Sullivan“Come Together” by the Beatles. And yes, up until two ... by Kimi EggersRelated StoriesEp 21 Maternal Health Advocate Sera BondsEp 20 Band Manager Amber BuistEp 19 “Maxed Out” author Katrina Alcorn 

Concert Review: First Aid Kit

The Band: First Aid Kit, January 24 2018. A Swedish sister act known for their glorious harmonizing, First Aid Kit’s country-tinged, romantic melodies like “Emmylou” make you want to wear flowy skirts and cavort in meadows while braiding daisy chains. Sisters Klara and Johanna Söderberg are kicking off an extensive US tour in support of their latest album Ruins, on which those beautiful voices are singing about some much darker topics. First Aid Kit is basically all of us after 2017.

Though this one doesn’t appear on the album, they wrote “You Are The Problem Here” in 2017 for International Women’s Day and it garnered a hella supportive audience response when they played it last night…#mood, America.

The Venue: The Fox Theater, Oakland. I hadn’t realized how useful the grid ceiling of the Fox was until last night, when I was due to arrive after the opener and meet up with my friends who were holding a spot for me. My friend Ted helpfully texted this picture of the tile above their heads and said, “On the ceiling, count 2 stars diagonally from the left demi-god.” Even if I thought my plan to just bellow “TED TED TED WHERE ARE YOU TED” was also good, I admit I found them pretty quickly based on the photo.

photo cred Ted the Navigator

The Company: Ted, Maria, and Jill, all college friends and First Aid Kit fans. I’m the only one who hadn’t seen them play live before and they’d prepped me for hairography. Both Klara and Johanna have amazing hair and a tendency to whip it back and forth when they play. Last night, maybe because of the subject matter of the new album (breakups, loss, etc) there was little hair whipping. But man, someone at L’Oreal should give them a spokesmodel deal stat. Their manes are glorious.

Trigger Alert: Peak ’80s Hair Situations Ahead

Opening Act: Giving Circle. Not a band; the result of me saying “Yes!” to everything without ever checking calendars until it’s too late, and double booking my entire life accordingly. I feel like the part of my brain that used to manage schedules is now permanently on the fritz.

I try never to miss my quarterly get-together with my group of friends that has been pooling our funds in support of nonprofit organizations since 2007, but I also didn’t want to miss First Aid Kit. Thank you for the assist, Lucas the Five Star Lyft driver, and sorry, Van William, the actual opening act, but something had to give. You sounded great when you came out and sang “Revolution” with First Aid Kit during the encore.

Worth Hiring the Sitter? Ja absolut

What gorgeous voices; what lovely songs; what a tonic for our times. I always notice how headliners treat their bands and crew because it’s telling, like when Father John Misty threw a guitar at one or Morrissey made his band introduce themselves as “I’m Morrissey’s drummer,” “I’m Morrissey’s guitarist,” etc. So when the First Aid Kit sisters took time to lavish praise on each of their talented players individually, and brought them all up to bow at the end of the show, that said something about the kind of people they are. Not just wonderful singers and songwriters and performers, but they seem like decent people. In the current social climate, that’s worth noticing and appreciating.

A couple of hours earlier at Giving Circle, one of our longtime members got emotional talking about the sudden death of her boss/mentor at Christmastime.  She talked about the leadership example he’d set of generosity, kindness, and love, and how desperately those things are needed right now. We do what we can in our little Giving Circle to amplify those traits; First Aid Kit does what it can onstage, but with better hair and harmony.

For that alone, it was a wonderful show.

We all loved this song from the new album a lot. “Send me a text” just doesn’t have the same je ne sais quoi.

                   
CommentsThanks for the lovely recap. by AlexaThat picture is EPIC. by Nancy Davis KhoHair whipping, like this: ... by EllenRelated StoriesConcert Review: Father John MistyConcert Review: Sheila E.El Vez Holiday Show 

Take Me Away

As much as I’ve sought signs that the current administration is the last dying gasp of a racist, misogynist patriarchy that will be upset by a rush of progressive candidates in 2018, I have to confront the very real possibility that in less than 14 months, America has gone actually, permanently, ripshit bonkers. We’re a fairly high-energy nationality; it’s within our grasp.

Which means I’ve started considering means of escape, by creating a list of countries to which the Davis Khos could emigrate.

There are pros and cons for each. The overriding con is that I’ll never actually go, as long as my extended family lives here and Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs are not available globally. Also, not entirely sure that a writer whose marquee editorial client is US Fashion Police is in super high demand on the far shores of other lands.

However, it is proving better for my stress levels to fixate on why exactly other countries should want me there than on why no immigrant in their right mind would want to come here. Consider it the new Counting Sheep.

England

Pros: My grandparents came from here, I grew up on a steady diet of Monty Python and the Goodies, and I love a good crumpet.

Cons: I’m prone to saying to my daughters, “If Meghan can land a prince, then so can you! Work harder!” at inopportune times, and if the British Home Office gets wind of it, we’ll all be thrown out.

Canada

Pros: I grew up so close to the Canadian border with New York that I say PRO-ject and PRO-gress, I studied French in Quebec City, and not only do my cousins live in Toronto, but one of my best friends married a Canadian and lives there as well.

Cons: I may have blown my chance at being sponsored by my Toronto friends and family by asking one time too many, “And what does that cost in real money?” when someone quoted me a price in Canadian Dollars.

New Zealand

Pros: I’m one of the world’s foremost self-appointed experts on Neil Finn’s music, we did an exploratory trip in a campervan that marks a highpoint of our family life thus far, and NZ just elected its first female prime minister.

Cons: On the aforementioned exploratory trip, my husband got into a heated discussion with two older Kiwi women at a sweater store about whether US size Large is bigger than Kiwi size Large, the insinuation being that Americans are a larger, stronger people. The ladies were laughing but they may have filed a complaint after we left.

China

Pros: We eat rice in this house like it’s going to be rationed soon, our older daughter worked with Chinese exchange students last summer, and with a name like Kho we’d fit right in.

Cons: My father in law was ethnic Chinese but grew up in Indonesia so he spoke zero Chinese. We have upheld the family tradition in that respect.

New California

Pros: If California, the state that happens to be the 6th largest economy in the world, decides to secede from the US under the able guidance of President Jerry Brown, I don’t even have to pack a box.

Cons: At least until the Big One hits, we’re still connected to the rest of Ripshit Bonkers U.S.A.

                   
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