Nancy Davis Kho's Blog, page 14

Concert Review: Tank and the Bangas

The Band: Tank and the Bangas, May 24 2018. I first heard of this funk and soul group from New Orleans the way a lot of people did – when they won NPR’s Tiny Desk concert series in 2017. I’ve rewatched that performance about 534 times and recommend the same dosage to you. Spoken word, old school funk, hip hop, and soul all mushed together and steered by the most expressive lead singer I’ve ever watched perform, Tarriona “Tank” Ball. She and the Bangas are just fun. That’s the bottom line.

The Venue: The Fillmore. For once I got there early enough that I had time to make my way to the big poster gallery upstairs which is hung from ceiling to baseboards with show posters from performances past. Got into a good-natured debate with a venue employee older than me as I geeked out over posters from The Cure, the Psychedelic Furs, and the Pogues – he said, “If you want the really good stuff go into the other room – Creem, The Grateful Dead, Starship…from back when we had real music.” Gen Xer meets Baby Boomer, and nair the twain shall agree.

The Company: KhoKhoPuff is halfway done with college, home for the summer, and down for any concert I pay for. She’s attending university in a music desert so is very appreciative of the chance to catch up. We realized this was the first time she’s been back to the Fillmore since her first, formative concert at age 10 – the one when she got invited to sit in front of the crowd barricades, was given a bottle of water from the band’s stash, got a poster before anyone else, and was given a backstage pass as we left. As predicted, it’s all been downhill from there.

The Crowd: Well here’s something to celebrate. Because of the widespread availability of edibles now, there was less smoke and more baked goods by which people got baked at the show! Much easier on the lungs. The couple in front of me, for instance, were making sweet love to a brownie (and thankfully not to each other,) so I didn’t have to watch the show through a smokescreen.

Also the crowd was young. So young. SOOO young. So young that I am bringing Age Humiliation Factor back!

Age Humiliation Factor


I retired this category in my concert review template about five years ago when I realized that the only thing humiliating about being my age at a concert was…nothing. Absolutely nothing. But two things at Tank made me bring it back:

1. There was a point at which Tank said, “How low can you go?” And my immediate thought was a panicked, “Not very, anymore!” But the crowd around me, indeed the ENTIRE crowd, took Tank’s lead and started gyrating lower, lower, lower…Bending forward at the waist was only going to get me so far. Tank was facedown on the stage by that point. I had a choice to be the single upright person in the entire venue (although I assume that the Creem fan up in the balcony was in the same bind) or I could just sit on my butt on the ground. I chose the latter. It was only with the assistance of KhoKhoPuff and a mighty shove off the back of a young woman to my left that I was able to stand up again for the end of the song.

2. It’s NOT “Smoke, Necklace, Chia.” Those are not the lyrics. But that’s what I heard and sang along at the top of my lungs.

Worth Hiring the Sitter?


Look, in 2018 I think what everyone needs is to spend some time being chill around people who don’t look like you, who are also being chill. Sold out show, super diverse crowd, everyone just having a good time and enjoying Tank and her team and not bothering one another.

Thursday was such a nice reminder that there is nothing to be afraid of, regardless of how the headlines read. There are a thousand more things uniting us than separating us, including the communal roar that went up when we heard the opening guitar riff of Nirvana’s “Nevermind” and the whole crowd started to pogo and sing along. As we rolled into Memorial Day weekend, I thought about how it’s fusion that make Tank and the Bangas great, and it’s fusion that has always made America great.

Get out there and Smoke (or better yet, chew, to spare your non-smoking neighbors.) Necklace. Chia. We gonna be alright.

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How To Drive Baby Boomers Insane

a.k.a. Things I Prefer To Hear Over The Sound of Bob Dylan’s Voice



Third grade recorder concert
“Your juror number has been chosen”
Neighbor’s cat in heat at 3 am
Ice cream truck staffed by scary clowns
The telltale scritch-scratch of rats in the attic
Glass shattering at child’s birthday party
Crash Test Dummies’ “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm”

Only kidding. Happy Birthday, Mr. Zimmerman.

Also, this:

You’ve probably been hearing this mysterious four letter acronym for a week now, as you click “Accept” and “Update” and “I’m in!” buttons on every email you’re subscribed to. The weird thing is that I actually write about this subject in my civilian life, so if you’d like enough information about the big new European data privacy initiative to make you dangerous, you could read “What You Need to Know About GDPR” that I wrote for EContent Magazine a little while back. I’ve udpated the Midlife Mixtape Privacy Policy to be GDPR compliant if you want to click through and read it at the bottom of this page. The main thing to know is that no one is sharing your data around here, and if you subscribe to my newsletter, you can always unsubscribe. K?

                  Related StoriesBaby Goats and Yacht RockMixtape MemoriesNext Midlife Mixtape Dance Party: April 14 

Ep 30 Democracy Defenders Isabel Kallman and Jeannine Harvey

Jeannine Harvey teaching her daughter right

Isabel Kallman – photo by Jessica Shyba

“That next first step:” FeedOurDemocracy.com co-founders Isabel Kallman and Jeannine Harvey on the need for civic and civil engagement, the power of scale, and how all those years of therapy finally pay off at midlife.

FeedOurDemocracy.com
@meeteatactivate
Alphamom
5Calls.org
Nancy’s past blog posts about her Giving Circle

Here’s teenage Isabel dancing in Salt-N-Pepa’s “Get Up.” Which one is she? It’s so low-res, it took me three watches to guess and I’m still not sure I’m right. Still – awesome song and vid.

Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the Midlife Mixtape podcast – check him out here!Did you like this episode? Then you might also enjoy:

Ep 21 Maternal Health Advocate Sera Bonds
Ep 18 Girl Advocate Lynn Johnson
Ep 12 Major Mary Jennings “MJ” Hegar

 

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Baby Goats and Yacht Rock

This post is sponsored by the San Mateo County Fair.

It’s funny to me that people who read Midlife Mixtape think I am out at a concert every night and have the same unlimited energy of my twenties. Believe you me: my jammies and robe and a Netflix marathon are as appealing to me as they are to the next person who is raising teenagers, working a full-time job, and waking up at 4 am because my passion project — worrying about things over which I exert no control — doesn’t always fit into daylight hours.

I go to one live show a month, and I prioritize the ones that offer me some creature comforts, like seats, affordable drinks, and easy access to bathrooms. Which is why, with summer coming, I’d like to extol the virtues of the County Fair concert experience, and in particular, this summer’s San Mateo County Fair which runs from June 9 – June 17.

Think about it: how much better would a concert be if you could spend some time beforehand petting baby goats at the 4-H pens, and then (after sanitizing your hands please) get a bag of hot churros or a Fat Fanny’s Funnel Cake to bring into the show? No paying for the sitter; you just bring the kids with and, if they’re old enough, send them with that babysitter money out to (hopefully not) win a giant stuffed zebra from the ring toss booth. Or keep them there with you at the concert and demand that they make a memory, a la Wendi Aarons in the latest podcast episode, whose first concert was Eddie Money and .38 Special at the Fargo North Dakota fairgrounds, after a 60 mile trip in the back of her softball coach’s station wagon. #Peak80s

This summer’s schedule in San Mateo includes some corkers like Sheila E. (June 9) and TLC (June 10,) but I’m here to praise the quintessential Yacht Rock act on this year’s bill, Pablo Cruise (June 14.) Yacht rock – I think of it as the late ‘70s soft rock whose titles doubled as my older siblings’ prom themes – is having a big moment right now. Author Greg Prato released Yacht Rock Book: The Oral History of the Soft, Smooth Sounds of the ‘70s and ‘80s back in March, extolling the virtues of the form.

And one of the hottest tickets in the Bay Area is Mustache Harbor, whose mission it is “to build a mustache army and create a Soft Rock Explosion the likes of which has not been seen since Christopher Cross, Steely Dan, Ace, Kenny Loggins and The Little River Band ruled the airwaves and created AM Gold.” You could go to a Mustache Harbor show and find yourself surrounded by ironic Millennials in mustaches and Hawaiian shirts sipping out of coconuts – and who doesn’t crave more time surrounded by ironic Millennials? Or you could go to San Mateo and sing along to Pablo Cruise themselves. Whatcha gonna do?

Or how about Average White Band (June 15)? This Average White Girl spent a whole lotta time picking up the pieces to their 1974 hit that I owned on a K-Tel Block Buster compilation album. This funk/R&B band with the refreshingly self-deprecating name will make it easy to get all up in your 1970s memories again. For instance, I’m now remembering that the album also included Leon Hayward’s “I Wanna Do Something Freaky To You” and that at age nine, I truly believed he meant sticking a finger in someone’s ear.

Other acts on this year’s concert bill include Sugar Ray (June 13) and country singer John Michael Montgomery (June 16.) You can go to the shows free as part of your Fair Admission (the venue holds 1,500) but if you want primo seating, check out the Gold Circle ticket option that includes Fair Admission and a reserved seat up close to the stage.

The San Mateo County Fair will make it easy for two Midlife Mixtape fans to get to the Pablo Cruise show on June 14 by giving away TWO Gold Circle tickets (value $90.) To enter for your chance to win, just leave a comment below with a favorite ‘70s musical memory. I’ll use Random.org to pick a winner next Tuesday, May 22 at 5 pm PT.

Come for the baby goats, stay for the musical memories!

                  Related StoriesMixtape MemoriesNext Midlife Mixtape Dance Party: April 14Concert Review: Lorde 

A Message to My New Russian Fans!

One of the nice tools that Facebook provides page owners like me is a little peek behind the scenes at who is liking which posts, presumably so we can provide content they’ll appreciate more. Many of my longtime MidlifeMixtape.com readers have been following me over on Facebook for a long time too, and I imagine we can seem like a cliquey bunch at times, the way we post Morrissey-concert-cancellation memes and pine for the days of shoulder pads that made our waists look so small.

I was just at a big conference where I was reminded how easy it is to stick to the sidelines when it looks like everyone else knows each other. So let’s take a moment and welcome my newest readers with a hearty, “добро пожаловать!”

Apparently the years between being hip and breaking one are having a BIG moment in places like Murmansk, Rostov-on-Don, and Novosibirsk, especially among people who have exactly three friends, joined Facebook in 2017, and, in some cases, gave birth to exactly the same children, at least if their profile photos are to be believed.

Alternatively, it could be that Russian bots continue to actively rampage all over Facebook, probing for vulnerabilities and perhaps even targeting people who might hold a slightly different worldview than the current resident of the Oval Office (i.e. sane and also not a fan of misogyny/corruption/racism/Antisemitism/homophobia/killing the planet/spray tans.) Considering I get a rash, and I do mean a rash, of new fans from the original Borscht Belt every time I have a particularly outspoken podcast guest, it would seem to be the case.

However, I don’t want to jump to conclusions because as of this week I’m trying to Be Best, and although I haven’t quite figured out what that even means, I’m doing my Be Bestest.

So on the off chance the Russian fans of Midlife Mixtape are real…

Thanks for joining us, Boris and Natasha! I’m a big fan of your work. Grew up with it, as well as Cold War nightmares and an aversion to committee work.

via GIPHY

Around here at Midlife Mixtape, we love to laugh while we lament and celebrate our lives at the midpoint. We also like to share music tips. For instance, have you ever heard of Pussy Riot? You should totally check them out.

You’re welcome to join the conversation as long as you promise to deal in facts, which are old-fashioned things that can be proven by science (like the human contribution to global warming) or observation (like the size of inauguration crowds) or simple logic (like fewer guns means fewer gun deaths.) We like fiction writing, and I’m a big admirer of the epic Russian novel, but I can only read one of those every three or four years and I like to know in advance that’s what I’m doing. Spasibo.

If, however, you turn out to be a bot, I will continue to block you like it’s a game of Whack-a-Mole at the fairgrounds and you’re the only thing standing between me and a stuffed bear.

(The blacked-out name is a super mean girl from high school who only got worse. I saw you trying, Bernice.)

Because when it comes to my America, you’re not the only one playing the long game here.

Have you heard Janelle Monae’s new album Dirty Computer yet? I’m obsessed. In a world with no Prince, “Make Me Feel” is the Be Bestest thing you’ll find. But this last song on the album, Americans, is the one that’s sticking with me…It won’t let me embed the video but I highly recommend you click through here and give it a listen.

                   
Comments“STICK THAT IN YOUR BABUSHKA” is my new clap back for 2018, ... by Nancy Davis Kho“There is no way,” I've been musing all week, “NO WAY ... by Ron ThibodeauxRelated StoriesOne Year Podcast Anniversary!Patching The JalopyLyft Therapy 

Ep 29 Humorist Wendi Aarons

“My time to call them out:” Award winning humorist Wendi Aarons on the power of protest humor, her admiration for the next generation’s ability to speak up, and her nascent career as a Barry Manilow fanfic writer.

Wendi’s website
Who Said It: Middle-aged woman or teenaged boy?
Sixteen Candles gets a rewrite in Fifty Candles
I’m Going To Close This Deal Using Words I’ve Heard Men Yell in Airports
@paulryangosling

This one’s for you, Wendi – wherever you are.

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One Year Podcast Anniversary!

Well, that went fast! Today marks the one-year anniversary of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, where every other week I talk with guests about midlife with humor, heart, and a really good beat.

I started the show because I hate that when you hear the word “midlife,” the inevitable follow-on is “crisis.” I see lots of people my age doing exciting things and feeling more free, creative, and confident than ever, and those were the stories I wanted to share. My guest list has been beyond my wildest dreams: musicians, writers, social activists, a military war hero, a Go-Go, and one chainstitch wrangler.

What’s it all about? Here’s the intro episode that explains what I’m trying to do with the show.

Haven’t caught up with the show lately? Here are a few podcast “flights” to get you started.

The Creativity Mix: Episodes celebrating midlife creativity

Pixar Storyteller Scott Morse
Artist Isabel Samaras
Writer/musician Michelle Gonzales
Go-Go’s bassist Kathy Valentine

The Long and Winding Road Mix: Episodes celebrating the unexpected life path

Resistance Genealogist Jennifer Mendelsohn
Filmmaker Jordan Brady
DJ Misbehaviour
Chainstitch Wrangler Kathie Sever
Decluttering Expert Dana White

The “I Am Midlife, Hear Me Roar” Mix: Episodes celebrating midlife activism

Major Mary Jennings “MJ” Hegar
Girl Advocate Lynn Johnson
Environmental Entrepreneur Jeff Kirschner
Maternal Health Advocate Sera Bonds

The How-To Guide: Episodes to help you navigate the middle third with grace and humor

Happiness Expert Dr. Christine Carter
“Maxed Out” author Katrina Alcorn
Empathy Expert Dr. Kelsey Crowe

Oakland Represent: Episodes highlighting some of my favorite residents of the 5-1-0

Hollywood Reporter TV Critic Tim Goodman
Hip Hop choreographer Corey Action
Comedian Karinda Dobbins
Digital Pioneer Jory Des Jardins

And that was just Year 1.

I have big plans for Year 2… I hope you’ll keep listening to the podcast if you’re already subscribing, and subscribe now if you haven’t! (Lots of tips at the bottom of the post on all the different ways you can tune in.)

Big Giveaway!

To celebrate this auspicious milestone, I’m doing a giveaway. Three lucky listeners will receive a Midlife Mixtape tote bag, and the Grand Prize winner will get the tote bag PLUS a personalized playlist made by me. I’ll put all my mixtape juju to work for you, but not in an Aaron-scary way, I promise.

Here’s how to enter:

1. A  Leave a review on iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, or wherever you’re listening to the podcast, and leave a comment below to let me know you’ve done that;

OR

1. B  Share a link to the podcast on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram, tag @MidlifeMixtape when you do, and leave a comment below to let me know you’ve done that

AND

2.  Subscribe to MidlifeMixtape.com if you haven’t already!

I’ll use Random.org to choose my four winners at 5 pm PT on Tuesday, May 15!

Still confused about how to listen to the podcast?

It’s easy and you have lots of options.

Listen at MidlifeMixtape.com, under the Podcast tab. Just click on the title of the episode you want and the show notes page will pop up, complete with an embedded podcast player on top. And if you subscribe to MidlifeMixtape.com, you’ll get an email every time there’s a new podcast to hear.
Subscribe via iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, or any other podcast catcher you like. Here’s a video I made to help explain how it works on your iPhone.
Listen on your Amazon Echo, via MyCast – just say, “Alexa, open MyCast” then “Search for Midlife Mixtape.”
Fan of Streaming Radio?  Find Midlife Mixtape on TuneIn. Don’t want to use up your data, but you have a good phone connection? Call the number below to listen to an ongoing stream of back-to-back episodes!

Thank you for the support!

                   
CommentsI love the “flights” you’ve created – so many cool ... by TarjaHoly WOW look at all you’ve done this year!! These playlists ... by AnnRelated StoriesPatching The JalopyLyft TherapyThe Five People You See On College Tours 

Patching The Jalopy

As I pull up to the starting line for my next lap around the sun, I’ve been thinking a lot about how we’re supposed to start each day feeling gratitude. You know, not take the little things for granted.

That has gotten much easier as I’ve gotten older; not because I’ve attained some deep inner peace, but because literally every one of my body parts has stopped working properly for some period of time in the past five years.

For instance, I wake up most mornings and think with delight, I CAN SEE! Not in an enlightened, I have a vision for myself today and I’m gonna journal it kind of way, but because last summer I had persistent and severe dry eye, which manifested in such red eyes that I was barely able to read road signs, let alone books or computer screens. You don’t even want to know how much driving I did by squint in 2017, friends.

As the ministrations of an ophthalmologist and a Chinese herbalist and what I’m pretty sure was a placebo “eye wash” treatment slowly took hold, I found a way to keep my perspective. I realized that most days I either could see, but was a horror to look at what with the red eye. Or the red eye would abate, but everything in my vision was fuzzy again. The trick was to figure out which kind of day I was having, and embrace it. One day was, Yeah, you’re shuddering when you see how red my eyes are, but at least I can see you do it! And the next, I can’t read the menu, but at least none of my dining partners will ask if I’ve been crying all afternoon.

The eye problems finally abated over the winter, which was when my lower back started hurting. Was it from too much time at my desk? Not enough stretching? Did I need new shoes? (Do I ever not?) I consulted with my friend Dawn the physical therapist, the one who, centimeter by painful centimeter, stretched my Frozen Shoulder back to life four years ago. Never has the ability to fasten your own bra seemed as valuable as the day you realize you can’t.

As she’d done with the shoulder, Dawn came through with the back stretches, and once again I can sit my office chair for long stretches to work. So that’s when my stomach decided to hog the spotlight, through a sequence of cramps and gurgling that sounds like a really bangin’ DJ loop, but in Hell. I didn’t even go to the doctor’s office – with my mom moving into Assisted Living this month, I know a stress stomachache when I meet one. Not much to do but pop Tums and think with wistfulness of those days of yesteryear when I had a quiet stomach and didn’t have to cough loudly and flagrantly to cover my stomach shame in every public setting in which I find myself.

So as this birthday approaches, I marvel at how when my body worked flawlessly, I never gave it a second thought. But here I am ready to throw a tickertape parade for what is, to crib a phrase from my mother-in-law, a patched jalopy.

From the bottom of the feet where plantar fasciitis once required a regimen of frozen ice bottle rolling and Dansko clogs, to the knee that gets wonky if I don’t bend it at exactly the right angle, to the fingers that sometimes get dermatitis from wearing rings, to the formerly frozen shoulder, and right on up to the eyes with which I can see to type this, I feel grateful that everything, right now, is mostly working like it’s supposed to.

At least until the the smoke from the copious birthday candles sets off an asthma attack.

Happy Birthday to me…Lord Huron released their latest album, Vide Noir, during my birthday month. Can’t wait to see them in June!

                   
CommentsI think I may be in business forever with PT becoming very ... by DawnRelated StoriesLyft TherapyThe Five People You See On College ToursNext Midlife Mixtape Dance Party: April 14 

Ep 28 Feminist Writer Peggy Orenstein

Photo Credit Claire Lewis

“I really stand by my work:” Bestselling author and journalist Peggy Orenstein on three decades of covering issues affecting girls and women, the persistence of the assault on women’s rights, and her curious predilection for offbeat adventure travel.

Peggy’s website
Peggy’s latest book Don’t Call Me Princess: Essays on Girls, Women, Sex, and Life
Peggy will be in conversation with cartooning icon Aline Kominksy-Crumb at the Bay Area Book Festival on Sunday, April 29 – details here
Peggy’s AFAR Magazine cover story for the March/April 2018 issue: Escape from the modern world on a pilgrim’s path through Japan
Sixteen Candles gets a rewrite in Fifty Candles, by Wendi Aarons (tune in to hear more from her in Episode 29!)

Billie Eilish – Joni Mitchell for a new generation?

Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the Midlife Mixtape podcast – check him out here!

                  Related StoriesEp 27 Empathy Expert Dr. Kelsey CroweEp 26 Resistance Genealogist Jennifer MendelsohnEpisode 26 Resistance Genealogist Jennifer Mendelsohn 

Ep 28 – Feminist Writer Peggy Orenstein

Photo Credit Claire Lewis

“I really stand by my work:” Bestselling author and journalist Peggy Orenstein on three decades of covering issues affecting girls and women, the persistence of the assault on women’s rights, and her curious predilection for offbeat adventure travel.

Peggy’s website
Peggy’s latest book Don’t Call Me Princess: Essays on Girls, Women, Sex, and Life
Peggy will be in conversation with cartooning icon Aline Kominksy-Crumb at the Bay Area Book Festival on Sunday, April 29 – details here
Peggy’s AFAR Magazine cover story for the March/April 2018 issue: Escape from the modern world on a pilgrim’s path through Japan
Sixteen Candles gets a rewrite in Fifty Candles, by Wendi Aarons (tune in to hear more from her in Episode 29!)

Billie Eilish – Joni Mitchell for a new generation?

Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the Midlife Mixtape podcast – check him out here!

                  Related StoriesEp 27 Empathy Expert Dr. Kelsey CroweEp 26 Resistance Genealogist Jennifer MendelsohnEpisode 26 Resistance Genealogist Jennifer Mendelsohn