Cameron D. James's Blog, page 24

Surviving the Pornpocalypse — Sex For Money Post #12

Sex For Money is a semi-regular blog series about my experiences in writing, publishing, and marketing gay erotica and M/M erotic romance.  All of this information is from my own experience, so your experience may differ.  It’s hoped that sharing this information might be helpful to new and aspiring erotica and erotic romance authors, as I see a lot of questions and a lot of misinformation out there.  To read more Sex For Money posts, click here.

The pornpocalypse, as it’s colloquially known, is real and it is here (yet again). The term pornpocalypse refers to when an ebook store gets in a snit about the smut that self-publishers are selling through their site — and in response, the site purges all offending titles, as well as purging a number of other titles that are not “offensive” but are still erotica (which is often deemed offensive in itself).

It famously happened — more than once — with Amazon, where the problematic titles as well as “innocent” erotica titles all were purged from their stores. And it’s happening again over on Kobo’s UK store. This time, WH Smith, which carries Kobo UK titles, got upset about incest and bestiality themes in some self-published erotica. Their response? They shut down their website until Kobo UK purged ALL self-published titles from the system. Yup, that’s right, ALL self-published titles, no matter the genre. It’s a bit of an overreaction, I think. You can read up about it here and here. Supposedly, a number of titles will make it back on to Kobo UK and WH Smith, but we’ll see how much gets back on there.

This is obviously a serious blow to erotica authors who write in these specific sub-genres. It can even have serious consequences for authors who write in general erotica categories, even if they’re not in this specific sub-genre. (I’ve long forgotten where I saw the article or posting, but in one of Amazon’s purges of incest and pseudo-incest, a number of people reported their non-incest erotica books being delisted because there was a familial term in the book’s blurb. For example, referencing a brother or father or mother — even if the character doesn’t have sex — was getting some people banned. So if the book was about a young guy fucking daddy’s best friend, that could get caught up in the sweeping bans.)

But this post is about surviving the pornpocalypse, not how devastating and non-sensical it can be. The plain and simple truth is that these websites are privately owned and they can sell what they choose. If they don’t want to sell books about dogs that save lives, then they don’t have to. If they don’t want to sell pseudo-incest, then they don’t have to. It’s not a violation of free speech, no matter how you frame it.

There are two keys to surviving a pornpocalypse:

Have a wide platform.
Research appropriate venues.

Let’s go in each point in depth.

Have a wide platform.

If an author publishes only on Amazon, and Amazon sweeps through their erotica offerings and bans a bunch of titles, that devastates the author’s one and only income source.

This is less of a problem than it used to be, I think. Amazon’s Kindle Unlimited program used to offer very attractive royalties for borrows in turn for exclusivity. By being exclusive and publishing only on Amazon, your title can be enrolled in Kindle Select / Kindle Unlimited, where Unlimited subscribers can read your book for free as part of their monthly subscription payment. In turn, the author would get a flat royalty fee, usually about $1.35.

A few months ago, Amazon changed from a flat per-book royalty to a per-page royalty. Suddenly, the payment dropped to about half a cent per page, meaning a borrow of an erotic short would earn a handful of cents rather than the $1.35 it used to. (And it seems like it might go even lower than half a cent.) Kindle Unlimited is a lot less attractive than it used to be for the self-published author, and a lot of erotica authors have now branched out and are publishing on multiple sites.

Here’s where I publish: Amazon, All Romance eBooks, Google Play, Excitica, and Smashwords (which distributes to, among others, Kobo and Barnes and Noble).

On a Reddit post I read about one of the recent pornpocalypses, titles were affected primarily on Kobo and to a lesser extent on Barnes and Noble and Amazon. Say I were to hit a bad luck streak and I got my title banned from all three of those. Well, while Amazon is one of my major income sources, it’s not my only one — I do fairly well on Google Play and Excitica, and quite well on All Romance eBooks. My income on those titles would dip but they would not die.

But a “wide platform” can be taken in another sense — sub-genres. Let’s say an author exclusively writes pseudo-incest and that’s the sub-genre going through a pornpocalypse (as it often is). A series of bans could absolutely devastate the author’s income. But if pseudo-incest is only one part of the writer’s platform and they also write contemporary erotica, BDSM, breathplay, and other things, then it would only be one part of the platform that suffers, and not the entire thing.

Research Appropriate Venues.

There’s no denying that Amazon, Kobo, and Barnes and Noble are important sites to be on given their market presence and easy name recognition. However, these are also the sites that are most prone to the pornpocalypse. So, yes, get on them as they’ll likely be your bread and butter, but don’t depend on them.

Besides, if you’re writing a questionable niche — like pseudo-incest or even actual incest — avid readers will know where to find the books they want. The casual Amazon reader who wants to try a pseudo-incest book just once is not the same as a dedicated fan who exclusively reads that niche. Pseudo-incest fans will know which sites cater to their interests and start shopping there. Amazon is truly not the be-all end-all for erotica authors.

Here are some other more appropriate venues (that I’ve personally tried) that won’t be so quick to ban you:

Smashwords — While they distribute to Kobo and Barnes and Noble, which can both suffer pornpocalypses, Smashwords itself does not pornpocalypse its books. And you can publish some pretty questionable stuff on there. They have the usual rules: no underage, no animals, and (if I recall) they’re a bit iffy on piss and scat.

All Romance eBooks — This site is a little cleaner, so it’s better for contemporary and BDSM erotica rather than the more fringe things. However, since it’s a romance and erotica webstore, they, too, don’t suffer from pornpocalypses.

Google Play — Google Play can be frustrating to publish on and they have an automatic discount on your pricing that can mess up your Amazon sales due to price matching. However, once you figure it all out and you price higher (so the discounted price matches the regular price on other sites), it can be a good source of sales. From my understanding, Google Play has not gone through a pornpocalypse. However, it’s important to note that Google Play is not open to new publishers at the moment.

Excitica — This website is run by erotica author Selena Kitt. You can be guaranteed that this place will not suffer from a pornpocalypse. I’ve found sales to be surprisingly good on this site and I’m quite happy with my experience there.

And here are a few sites I have no experience with (and thus can’t personally recommend) that might be what you need:

Lot’s Cave — This place seems to cater to pseudo-incest and actual incest. If you write these niches, then this is the site for you.

A1 Adult eBooks — This site seems to thrive on a variety of niches that wouldn’t last long on Amazon. This site does have odd formatting requirements and has a mandatory discount on new releases that could mess up Amazon’s price matching. However, this may be what you need if you see your niche well-represented here.

CarnalBooks — This site isn’t up yet. However, it looks professional and they are open to everything except underage. (Even though I don’t write in risky niches, I am keeping my eye on CarnalBooks and may sell my stories here once the site is live. I find their professionalism appealing.)

However, it’s important to note that these smaller independent websites sometimes come and go. A month ago there was a promising new one that I was setting up an account on, and it disappeared within a week… which also implies that authors should always be on the lookout for new venues, as they can appear out of nowhere and might perform surprisingly well for you.  My greatest success for sales was through a short-lived e-store attached to a gay men’s nudist magazine, giving me sales I have never seen from any other vendor — but unfortunately, both the store and the magazine are now gone.

There’s no denying that a pornpocalypse is bad news — it could be devastating for some authors, especially those who specialize in “riskier” niches. But a pornpocalypse doesn’t need to be a career killer — it can be managed and its impact can be lessened.

50% Off — Today Only at All Romance eBooks!

All Romance eBooks is offering a 50% rebate on all ebooks today only! Why don’t you head on over and pick up some steamy reads?

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A General Update of What’s Happening

Hi blog readers!

You’ll notice a few small changes around here — if you haven’t noticed them already.

Namely, a few things:

I will no longer do book reviews.  With the rate I read books, I find reviews too time consuming to do.  Also, being an author, it puts me in a difficult situation when I read a book that really just wasn’t good.  As well, I’m not really sure how often my book reviews are read — they generally get a few likes within a few minutes (making me think people are automatically liking things without reading them, as that is far too quick to read the whole post), and then no action after that.
You may have noticed that twice now I’ve linked to the Oh Get a Grip! blog.  I’m a biweekly poster there, and every fortnight we have a topic to discuss, with each of the ten erotic authors taking a stab at it.  You can find my Oh Get a Grip! posts here.
I want to get in the habit of writing more Sex For Money posts.  These are blog posts about the writing and self-publishing business from the POV of the erotic author.  I’m going to try to get in the habit of doing these biweekly, on the alternate weeks from Oh Get a Grip!  You can read the previous Sex For Money posts here.

And for writing:

I’m working with fellow erotic author Sandra Claire (whom I know in real life) on a series of short novels about forbidden relationships.  These are relationships that are slightly taboo or involve a questionable power dynamic.  (We’re steering clear of pseudo-incest, though it’s a hot seller, as these are very risky on sites like Amazon and Kobo.)  This non-numbered series will be called Forbidden Desires.  Each entry will be entirely stand-alone, the series is just to tie them together thematically.

We just finished the first Forbidden Desires story, about a father who takes his son and his son’s best friend on a camping trip.  There’s an erotic relationship that suddenly develops between the father and the son’s best friend.  We’ve sent it off to our editor and hope to have it out in a month or two.
We outlined our next Forbidden Desires story — about a priest and a confessor and the illicit sexual relationship that develops between them.


To accompany the Sex For Money posts mentioned above, I’ve also recently completed my first draft of a non-fiction book about how to write, self-publish, sell, and promote erotic short stories and novels.  It’ll also be titled Sex For Money. I hope to have it out by the new year.

Well, that seems to be about it for now — watch this space for all the latest exciting developments!

Infidelity and the Gay Man — Oh Get a Grip!

I’m over at the Oh Get a Grip! blog again — and the topic this fortnight is infidelity.  Click here to read my post on “Infidelity and the Gay Man.”

Don’t miss your chance to win!

Only a few more days to enter to win a signed paperback copy of Go-Go Boys of Club 21: The Complete Series! Head on over to Goodreads and enter today!

Goodreads Book Giveaway


Go-Go Boys of Club 21
by Cameron D. James

Giveaway ends November 01, 2015.

See the giveaway details

at Goodreads.

https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/widget/156309

Forks in the Road — Oh, Get a Grip!

Hi folks!

I’m a little late to announcing it here on the good ol’ blog, what with being neck deep in writing my next smutty project, but I wanted to let y’all know that I’m now participating in a group blog called Oh, Get a Grip!  OGAG! is a community blog run by ten smutty authors — we have a theme for two weeks and we each take a turn (Monday to Friday) sharing our thoughts on the theme.

I jumped in back on October 13, exploring the theme of Forks in the Road.

Click here to check out my posting on OGAG!, where I discuss the forks in the road that led me to understanding my identity as a gay man and my choice to come out.

The Three Flaws on Your First Page – Sex For Money Post #11

Sex For Money is a semi-regular blog series about my experiences in writing, publishing, and marketing gay erotica and M/M erotic romance.  All of this information is from my own experience, so your experience may differ.  It’s hoped that sharing this information might be helpful to new and aspiring erotica and erotic romance authors, as I see a lot of questions and a lot of misinformation out there.  To read more Sex For Money posts, click here.

I was asked to read a romance manuscript that a friend wrote, and, while they used poetic sentences in their first chapter, there were some serious flaws that would hold this writer back from ever obtaining a publishing deal or gaining real success as an indie.  With her permission, I kind of tear it to shreds here for the sake of pointing out the three common flaws I see on first pages (of unpublished, self-published, and traditionally published books).  While it is possible to succeed while doing these things, you will succeed much more if you avoid these three mistakes:

1. Inaccessible Language

Remember how I described the opening scene as having “poetic sentences”?  That actually wasn’t a compliment.  This writer had utilized uncommon words for… well, I don’t know why, I guess, but my assumption is that she was trying to go for a certain feel and felt that using grand language would help achieve that.

That’s a fatal flaw.

If you look at the greatest works of any genre you’ll find very few odd and unusual words.  What you’ll find are common, everyday words, that have been strung together in a beautiful way.  (Your results might vary if you look at older works that are considered great — but writing, publishing, and language itself have evolved since that book was published.  For best results, look at modern bestsellers.)  An occasional poetic word or rarely-used word might be thrown in here and there, but that’s usually to emphasize a point of some sort, not to create a lyrical style.

Ideally, 99% of the words you use should be part of your everyday vocabulary.  No matter what genre you write.  (I guess, the exception being realistic historical fiction, but even then you still need your book to be accessible.)

And that’s the crux of this — inaccessible language makes your book inaccessible.  People will stop reading due to poor choice of language.  Or, if they make it through the book, you will get poorer reviews than you deserve, simply because your language ruined the story.

So, in the case of this romance manuscript I keep referencing — the author needs to rewrite the whole thing and kill all the strange words.

2. Slow Zoom-In

This is one of the biggest flaws I see in self-published works and one of the deadly flaws in this chapter I read.  Movies and novels are entirely different methods of storytelling.  Yet, I’ve found lately that a lot of authors are writing their books the way it might appear on the screen.

To give you an example — this chapter I read opened by following a leaf on the breeze.  By following this leaf, we slowly zoomed out to see the world beneath us, then zoomed back into the leaf as it tumbled through the air and came to gently rest next to the person we assume to be the main character.  (More on that in point three.)  Even then, once we finally met our character — four paragraphs into the thing — the author took even more time describing the setting, the forest, the wind, the stars, and on and on and on.

That opening, however, sounds like a fantastic opening to a movie.  It would help set the tone and mood of the film and allow us to ground ourselves before jumping into the plot.  But, movies are a visual medium.  Novels are not.

If I had picked this book up in the bookstore and checked out the first page, I would have put it back on the shelf before even finishing the page.

Your first page needs to be gripping from the first sentence.  If not the first sentence, then at least by the end of the first paragraph.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a thriller, sci-fi, fantasy, erotica, or romance book — your first sentence has to suck readers in immediately, or else you’ve already lost half your readers.

Very few shoppers in the bookstore will make it to the fourth paragraph to finally meet a character… and then wait another five or six paragraphs to finally read something gripping.

3. Not Rooted in Character

Remember I said we didn’t meet a character until the fourth paragraph, and even then we didn’t return to him until several paragraphs later?  That is a killer for reader engagement and sales.

The way to make your first sentence or first paragraph gripping is to root it in character — and through the character we can then see the surroundings.  Characters allow us a window to see the world that we create — without them, we are removed from the story and we don’t care what happens.

How about some examples?

I pull these examples from my own writing.  I don’t claim to be an expert by any means, but strengthening my openings is something I’ve been working on.  If you look at my older stuff, it’ll be weaker, because it’s taken time to really grab hold of this.

Here’s my first paragraph from my short story, Bathhouse Nights:

“I need you, Daniel. I need you to fuck me. I want you to be my first.”

In that one snippet of dialogue, we’re rooted in the situation, in the character, and in the world.  We don’t yet know the speaker’s name, but from what he says, we know immediately that he’s about to have sex (which is often a good opening for erotica).  There’s also the added excitement that the speaker is a virgin.  Do we know the intricate details of the setting?  No, and we don’t need to.  As the dialogue continues, we find out this is a jock and a twink in the bathhouse.  But to explain at the beginning, then get into dialogue, would result in zero tension.

Here’s my first paragraph from Bump and Grind, part one of Go-Go Boys of Club 21:

[This chapter opens with the header “Liam” — so we already know the character’s name.]

We’re the go-go boys of Club 21. We dance, we fuel fantasies, and we give ourselves to the beat. We bump, we grind, and before each shift we have a jerk off competition; the order in which we come determines who gets the most desirable dance platform.

We’ve zoomed in immediately to the scene, we’re rooted in Liam’s thoughts, and the language is all fully-accessible.  Plus, this is enticing, as readers know that a jerk off competition is coming up in the next couple paragraphs.  This opening pulls readers in.  You’ll also notice that this paragraph evokes a mood or tone, but still uses everyday language.  You don’t need obscure language to set your mood and tone — you achieve it by how you construct your sentences and your choice of which (common) words to use.

And now I present the opening paragraph from my forthcoming, as-yet-untitled erotic novella I’m writing with Sandra Claire:

Jay watched the trees zipping past the car window. He so rarely got out of the city that this camping trip was the highlight of his summer—and the fact that he was going with his best friend, Mike, and Mike’s dad, Mr. Carter, only made it better. “A camping trip to turn you into men,” Mr. Carter had called it, a celebration of the two of them having turned eighteen.

This one is a little rougher since it hasn’t been edited yet — it’s just a first draft.  However, we are rooted in the character of Jay — and through Jay we see the trees zipping past and we immediately learn we are on a camping trip — and it’s all told in accessible language.  Also, with the “A camping trip to turn you into men” line, well, I’m sure that opens up all sorts of dirty scenarios.  This is the hook that pulls readers in.  From there, we immediately learn that Jay is lusting for his friend’s dad.

So, the conclusion?

Make sure you use accessible, everyday language; immediately zoom into the plot and don’t waste time on setting a mood or tone; and root the reader in a character.  And… do all of this in the first paragraph.

Enter to win a signed paperback copy of Go-Go Boys of Club 21: The Complete Series!

I just had paperback copies of Go-Go Boys of Club 21: The Complete Seriesdelivered to my door — and I’m giving away three signed copies on Goodreads!

To enter, all you have to do is click here to visit the giveaway page on Goodreads and then enter to win!  (And if you’re not a Goodreads member yet, you can sign up and check out all the good books on that site!)

The contest is open until November 1st, so there’s lots of time to enter.*

* Unfortunately, due to postage costs, the contest is open to residents of Canada and United States of America only.

Are you looking for other awesome prizes?  All Romance eBooks is having their annual October Giveaway!  Every purchase gives you the chance to win awesome instant prizes, including ebooks (including a few copies of Go-Go Boys of Club 21), paperback books, gift certificates, gift baskets, ereaders, tablets, and more!  Click here to view the giveaway details.  And you don’t even need to purchase an item to enter to win — click here for the free entry form!

Good luck to you with whichever contest you enter — and double good luck if you enter both!

A Place to Belong by Hurri Cosmo — Author Interview and Giveaway

Greetings book-lovers!  Today, I’m thrilled to have Hurri Cosmo here to tell us about her new release, A Place to Belong!  Check out the interview below and the giveaway at the end of the post!

Book Blurb

Logan Perry was offered a job caring for an elderly lady a thousand miles from his home in Iowa. Looking for a place to hide, it seems to be the perfect opportunity to escape. So Logan runs to Texas. All he wants is a roof over his head and food in his stomach. So moving into the amazing McFarren Manor he believes is all he needs.

Bradley McFarren is only looking for someone to care for his aging grandmother. Too busy with the family multi-billion dollar real estate firm, he just doesn’t have time. With no personal life to speak of, Bradley has kept his heart safe. As long as Gail, his beloved grandmother, is cared for, he thinks it’s all he needs.

But what both their hearts truly desire is a place to belong.

So begins the journey of a love that will not be denied; a love bigger than the state of Texas.

Book Trailer: https://youtu.be/vsqrxmRp73c

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25659865-a-place-to-belong

Purchase Link: Amber Allure

Interview with Hurri Cosmo

Tell us about your latest release.

This is a part of a Pax which is an Amber Allure anthology of five stories with a common theme. In this case, all the stories need to take place in Texas. I actually started writing a different story for this Pax titled “Riven Creek Ranch” but another criteria is that it can’t go over 39,999 words. Riven Creek far surpassed that at nearly 47,000 and still counting. So I needed to come up with another story quick. “A Place to Belong” was born. Even though I wrote this one rather fast, I think it turned out well.

What kind of research went into this book?

I have been to Texas but nowhere near enough times to know the topography very well or anything much about Houston, which is where my story is placed. So I had to do some surfing on the web. I really wanted to make things authentic since that was the condition of the Pax. Normally, I will make up street names or restaurants, even towns and cities but I couldn’t do that with this story.

What was your most favorite scene to write?

In any book, whether I am writing or reading, I LOVE the place where the MC’s finally come together. They have overcome all the odds or obstacles or whatever it was that was keeping them apart and they are professing their love to each other.

What’s your most favorite book you’ve written? Why?

I really do love this one, “A Place to Belong”. I like the slow burn of the MC’s relationship which is something I have never written before. I don’t like angsty stuff on a normal basis and this one doesn’t really have a ton of it but what I did put in here is also something I haven’t really tackled before. I did enjoy it. Having said that, I have to say, my absolute favorite book I have written is “Ice Dragon Tales” and on the heels of that, the “Until You” series. The plots are big and sweeping and there’s a ton of information and stuff going on and you just get buried in the story.

Are you writing anything now? Can you tell us about it?

I have a file in my computer where I put all my ideas for stories whether it is a single sentence or a full blown synopsis. I go to this file every time I start a new story. I start reading through them and pick whatever grabs me. However, I do have a few WIPs. One called “Ghost Wolf Chronicles” which will be my first shifter series. Another tentatively titled one called “The Boy Next Door” about a well-armed man (well-endowed, too) who has to come to the rescue in more ways than one of our MC. I need to finish “Riven Creek Ranch” which is about a very unlucky man who comes to Texas and his aunt’s horse ranch and thinks his luck has followed him. But the Ranch foreman just might be able to change that. Plus I am just finishing up on another Pax “The Neighbors, A Vampire Story”. Not sure when it will be out but soon.

Do you have any upcoming releases?

I do! It is my first FREE READ and it’s through Goodreads called “Hyden’s Law” coming out September 28. Unfortunately it will not be “published” but just posted in the BDSM group on Goodreads. If you want to read it you would have to join the group. But I am going to see if I can self-publish it as well in a month or so that way everyone will be able to read it.

Author Bio

Hurri Cosmo lives in Minnesota where she holds tight to the idea that there, where it’s cold a good part of the year, she won’t age as fast. Yep, she avoids the truth as much as she avoids mirrors. But one of the reasons she loves writing is reality doesn’t always offer up a “happily ever after” and being able to take control of that is a powerful lure. Being a happy ending junkie, writing just makes them easier to find. Oh, she doesn’t mind “real life” and she does try to at least keep it in mind when she writes her stories, but she truly loves creating a wonderful couple, knowing they will fall in love and have their HEA. Every – single – time. And, of course, that is exactly the reason she loves reading this genre, too. Give her a glass of red wine, some dark chocolate, and her computer, whether she is reading or writing, and she will entertain herself for hours. The fact she actually gets paid to do it is Snickers bars on the frosting on the cake.

Author Links

Website | Blog | Facebook | Twitter

Other books by Hurri Cosmo:

Amber Allure:

How West Was Won
The Superior Jewel
Ice Dragon Tales (contains the first two books in the series, The Servant Prince and The Servant King)
The One
Forgetting Yesterday
Saving Jack
Talasar’s Elixir (Book one in the Dragon for Hire series)
The Door Keeper

Amber Moon (Part of the Intoxicating Fantasies series)

Chase and Capture
Baby, Think it Over

  Secret Cravings:

The Astral Mage (Book one of The Captains of the Wolf)
Ladders

Fireborn Publishing

Until You
I Believe Now (Until You, #2)

  Upcoming:

Riven Creek Ranch

Giveaway

Click here to enter to win a $25.00 Amazon gift card!

A Place to Belong – Tour Schedule

9/21 – World of Diversity Fiction Reviews
9/22 – Bayou Book Junkie
9/22 – Cameron James
9/23 – KathyMac Reviews
9/24 – Unrandom Randomness
9/25 – Two Chicks Obsessed with Books and Eye Candy

Book Blitz: The Other Half of Me

As some of you may have noticed, I’ve had a few blog tour books popping up on my blog lately — I’m a tour host with a couple blog tour companies so that I can help spread the word about some great m/m and gay books that are being released.  As an indie author (or even an author with a traditional press), it can be extremely difficult to get noticed, so I’m hoping that by doing this small bit to help get the word out about great authors, you’ll go ahead and notice them.  :)

Today, I’m thrilled to take part in the book blitz for The Other Half of Me by Lor Rose.  This is book one in the Patrick’s Branch series, published by Thirteen Below Press.  Scroll down for the blurb, an excerpt, how to connect with Lor Rose, and a giveaway!

Purchase Links: eBook: Thirteen Below Press | Print: Thirteen Below Press

Book Blurb

As a homicide detective for the greater Houston area, Detective Barrack Invar’s job was stressful enough without his Lieutenant breathing down his neck to do more, not to mention his girlfriend, Isabella. His partner, Calhoun, was a joke. It didn’t help that over the years Barrack earned a reputation as being a bit of an asshole at work. Things for Barrack didn’t look any brighter in the wake of a murder case with absolutely no leads at all. Until he came home to a wonderful surprise. His best friend since the age of three had finally come home.

Willow only survived. His best friend since childhood, Barrack, was all that mattered to him. Willow craved any small scraps of affection Barrack was willing to give. Every look, every praise, every touch, tore Willow’s soul because he was constantly reminded of what he couldn’t have. Barrack. When Willow unexpectedly returned home his insides burned with the need for the man he loved. The need to give control…

Barrack found his feelings towards Willow slowly twisted and changed. He loved his best friend. A man. For Barrack it was a very simple thing. Willow on the other hand could not accept what Barrack was freely willing to give. Willow did the only thing he knew. He ran.

Returning home, Willow’s fears were confirmed when Barrack refused to come with him. Barrack’s promises to follow seemed long in coming. Willow was left devastated feeling abandoned and alone.

Can Barrack convince Willow of his love? Will Willow allow Barrack to love him?

Excerpt

The energy of the crowd and passion from the band was infectious. Barrack stood as close to the stage as he could. His body ached and his eyes itched with need for sleep after a long day at work then the concert, but it was worth it. Seeing him made it worth it.

He headed for the VIP line forming next to where NRG Stadium kept their performance stage when not in use. Other bodies ran into him, one group nearly running him over with their purple VIP passes swinging from their necks. Barrack shook his head. Purple badges like theirs only allowed them into VIP after-show signings, nothing special. Black was the next level up, with after-show backstage access and a gift signed from all the band members for Christmas. White, like his, allowed backstage access before and after shows, as well as the yearly gifts at Christmas and the holder’s birthday, plus special one-on-one time with the band at a scheduled party near Halloween.

The organizers broke up the white badges into groups of seven per party to allow more one-on-one time. Hence, only twenty-one people had a white VIP badge. If a white badge didn’t come to a white party more than twice in a row, they automatically lost their white VIP status since other people would use it to its full advantage, like him.

“Hey Barrack!”

He turned to see Bridge, the band’s head of security, waving him over, then shouldered his way through the crowd, slowly making his way to the front of the line.

“Annoying, isn’t it?” Bridge’s voice had a slight rasp to it. He was a tall broad man with a stern-looking face and jaw. His hair looked swept back by the wind.

The two clasped hands and Bridge pulled him into a one-armed hug, each patting the other heavily on the back. “If I had to deal with this all the time, then shit yeah. Doesn’t it get annoying?” Barrack asked and gave Bridge one more hearty pat on the arm before releasing him.

Bridge shrugged. “Not really, no. How you’ve been?”

Barrack smiled at his old friend. They had gotten close once a long time ago when they’d been undercover. When everything was all said and done with that case, the men had lost contact, only to be reacquainted a few years later when Emotio hit the scene.

He shrugged. “Same old, same old.”

Bridge shook his head. “Come on.” He opened the door to allow them inside. Barrack stepped into a much quieter but still busy space. Stage personnel hustled about doing whatever it was that they did. One was carrying a large stuffed rhinoceros—he didn’t want to know.

“Barrack.” Rex Louis Clark, the drummer waved and Barrack waved back. The man stood shirtless with raven black hair that shined blue in the light. A white stripe accented the side of his head. The tabloids had nicknamed him ‘Skunk’, and for good reason. He’d been known to have a bad temper. He was talking to Luxe, the band’s stylist. Why, he didn’t know since the man seemed to be allergic to shirts.

“Everyone else is in back,” Bridge said. “The public signing will start in half an hour.” Bridge patted him on the back and walked off, leading the way.

“That’s it?” Half an hour seemed like a short break after such a performance.

Bridge shrugged. “Aksel and Patryk wanted to be done early.”

“Wonder why,” he mused aloud while they turned a corner.

Bridge sighed, but it sounded more like a disbelieving tsk. He opened another door and walked inside with Barrack following behind.

“You know you’re the only fan we actually like enough to hang out with,” Bishop, the lead guitarist, said from the wet bar. His silk black pirate shirt caught the light, highlighting his exposed chest. His shoulder-length bleached hair sported pink highlights at the tips, which faded up the length.

“That one isn’t so bad,” Aksel, the bass player, said as he plopped on the couch. His purple Mohawk didn’t even move.

Titus, the piano or keyboard player, threw wadded paper at Aksel, which he caught. “Do ya mean Greg?” Titus’s slight Irish accent came through. His all white hair almost glowed in the fluorescent lighting.

“I hate him,” Bishop said as he took a long drink.

“That’s because—” Patryk Sama’el, the lead singer, walked in from another door on the opposite side of the room. “—he drinks just as much alcohol as you.” His hair was black, the sides of his head shaved into a military buzz, and the center was long, thick, and styled effortlessly to the side. A chunk of white highlighted his bangs. Diamond stud earrings decorated his ears. He had changed from his earlier outfit into skinny jeans and a loose rock and roll T-shirt. “And even we cannot afford that.” His comment won a round of chuckles and the finger from Bishop.

The singer shook his head and plopped on the couch next to Aksel. Heavy black makeup framed his eyes, as did an elegant gray and black masquerade mask. This air of secrecy heightened Emotio’s fame. No one had seen Patryk’s face, not even Emotio’s other members. Rumors soared over Patryk’s looks, but the man in the center of it all, Patryk, neither confirmed nor denied anything. Patryk Sama’el symbolized mystery, and mysteries were intriguing.

“Hey Barrack,” Patryk said with a tiny wave, looking relaxed but tired.

“Hey, guys.” Barrack entered the room while Bridge said his goodbyes. “You want a water?” Barrack asked Patryk who nodded. Barrack had to practically shove Bishop out of the way to get to the wet bar.

He retrieved two waters, then handed one to Patryk while he sat between Aksel and Patryk. “Where’s Dominik?” Another scan of the room confirmed the electric violinist wasn’t there.

Titus tossed him the wad of paper, and he tossed it back. “Good question.”

“Bathroom,” Patryk supplied with a sigh.

Barrack looked him over. Patryk seemed to have melted farther into the couch since he sat down, “Okay?”

Patryk nodded. “Just tired.”

“If I danced like you in them damn high heels, I’d be tired too.” Bishop twirled and went back to the bar for another drink.

Before anyone could answer, Dominik walked in from the same door Patryk had. He stopped short when he saw Barrack. “Hey.” On stage, Dominik was a force worthy of the band’s fame, but in that moment, he seemed tiny and timid, as if he were two different people.

His emerald-green hair had white accents. Dominik’s style was the most formal. A well-tailored suit showed off his form. The jacket was opened, exposing a white button-up shirt and loosened black silk necktie.

“You okay?” Barrack asked while getting up. “Here, sit. You look tired.”

Dominik smiled, but it seemed sad to Barrack. “I’m fine.”

“Please, sit.” He motioned to the spot he’d given up. Dominik meekly nodded and slowly made his way to the sofa. To Barrack, he seemed to move a little too gingerly. “Thanks,” Dominik said as he passed. Barrack’s gaze zeroed in on him pressing his arm to his side. A small bruise visible on Dominik’s knuckles made Barrack frown.

“Son of a bitch.” Rex burst into the room and chucked something against the wall, but Barrack didn’t see what it was. Barrack was too focused on Dominik’s barely there flinch and subsequent wince.

He covered it up well. “Lose a bet?” Dominik’s response was more subdued than usual as he sat.

Rex growled as he strode across the room to the other door. “Shut up,” he snapped. “I’m taking a shower.” The poor door almost groaned under Rex’s grip as he wrenched it open, and the reverberating slam when he left sent a crack throughout the room.

“Well he’s a ray of sunshine, isn’t he?” Bishop listed to the side with a giggle.

Patryk sighed, but Barrack could tell he was watching Dominik, too. “Stop drinking. We still have the signing to do.”

Bishop flipped him off again. “You gonna stop me?”

“And mess up this manicure?” Patryk waved black fingernails at him. “I don’t think so. Barrack can subdue your drunk ass.”

Bishop looked at him with bleary eyes. He must’ve been drinking on stage. “Wouldn’t mind ‘hat at all.”

“Barrack is off limits. He’s got that Willow fellow,” Titus said while still tossing the wad of paper around.

Barrack shook his head. “We’re not together.”

Patryk chuckled. “The way you talk about him sure makes it seem you are.”

Barrack moved and sat on the arm of the couch closest to Patryk. “Well, he does have a nice ass.”

Bishop spit out his drink. “You’re gay!”

“No.” Barrack took Patryk’s water and opened it, then gave it back. “Drink that,” he said under his breath, then turned his attention back to Bishop. “But I can appreciate a nice ass when I see one.”

“We have got to meet this Willow,” Titus said. “He’s all ya talk about.”

Barrack shrugged. “He’s busy.”

Aksel heaved himself up. “The fucker is always busy,” he said while retrieving his own water.

“Be nice,” Patryk said.

Aksel made a jacking off motion. “Suck me.”

Barrack laughed, but Patryk punched his thigh. “What?” He asked then took a drink of water.

“Don’t encourage him,” Patryk quipped, then took a swig of water.

A knock on the door stole everyone’s attention. Bridge stuck his head in. “Signing starts in 5. Where’s Skunk?”

Bishop giggled. “Ima tell you said ‘hat.”

“That’s great, where is he?”

Barrack nodded to the other door. “Showering, should be about done.”

Bridge walked into the room and to the other door. “You guys get out there and I’ll get him.”

“Better you than me,” Patryk said as he got up.

The rest of the band followed with their own brand of sarcasm except for Dominik. He sat on the sofa and looked a little pale. “You okay?” Barrack asked again.

“Yeah. Help me up.” Dominik offered his hand, and Barrack pulled him up. The man seemed too light even for his smaller physique.

Barrack watched Dominik walk. He had a slight hitch to his step. “If you ever need anything, I can help you.”

Dominik stopped and turned. The gaze that met Barrack’s could only be described as broken. “You’re a really good friend.” With that, Dominik strode off with Barrack following. They arrived at the signing and Dominik took his place between Aksel and Rex.

Bridge came up behind him. “Everything all right?”

He stepped back so he and Bridge were behind the band but out of earshot. “You know what I think.”

“Yeah” was all Bridge said, and the two lapsed into silence.

About Lor Rose

Lor is a snarky, over the top genderfluid polyamorous demipansexual with dark hair and pink highlights. Although, sometimes the color varies. She is almost constantly fighting with her muse, Animus, or referring the fights between Animus and Epicene, her other muse. Lor started reading very questionable M/M fanfiction at a very young age in the closet. Literally. Though that didn’t stop her from getting caught once or twice. This early love of things M/M sparked her writing career. Without a doubt, her Christian high school English teacher Mrs. B didn’t expect Lor to fall into the M/M genre. Mrs. B did know Lor would be a writer someday because when the class had a minimum, Lor had a maximum. It truly was unfair.

Besides writing, Lor may also be found with one of her two horses, the Chihuahua or her cat. Any un-caught typos are courtesy of the cat, who shoves Lor’s things out of the way when it’s her time for cuddles or playtime… Which is about every ten minutes.

You can find Lor here: Facebook | Website | Twitter

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