Pamela Q. Fernandes's Blog, page 8

Compassion In Medicine

I haven’t done a medicine post for a while ever since I did investments. There’s been so much work and uncertainty in healthcare and I have been busy home renovating, working, and writing. I’ve barely posted anything on the website for a while.

Today we’re talking about compassion in medicine. It was while I volunteered at a hospital when I was at a lecture that I realized there was a problem with having compassion in medicine.

I was there to act out a patient role for staff teaching. And so I ended up having to listen to the day’s events. One of the things being “taught” was how to be compassionate.

They even had a technique on what statements to make when you talk to the patient. Heart, head, heart statements; so that you sound more compassionate.

Why? Because of the bottom line. Several insurance companies were handing out payments based on patient feedback. And patients were looking for compassion.

Why is Compassion in Medicine Eroding?

I was amazed to find that Universities are now having separate lectures to teach medical students compassion. I find it strange. Do we have to teach people to be human? Has society changed so much that we need to train people to be nice?

As I was researching for this article, several medical organizations have pointed out that having compassion will improve outcomes and improve patient adherence.

Did that require a study? People do more when they feel you’re invested in them. There’s a lot of evidence that the brain can identify compassion distinctly from empathy.

So why aren’t we more compassionate in medicine?

In A Hurry

You have to finish your entire new patient physical in fifteen minutes as per the EMR/ Patient Managers/Whoever Rules Your Practice. There’s no time to be compassionate. Heck, there’s no time to ask anything other than the name and date of birth just to make sure you’re dealing with the right person whose EMR is in front of you.

In a study at Princeton, students who were restudying Divinity were divided into batches. Each of them was asked to deliver a sermon on the Good Samaritan. Each was given one of three instructions. You’re late, It’ll be a  few minutes or the assistant is waiting, please hurry over. There’s a sense of hurry in each statement. The students on their way to give the sermon encounter a man bent over in pain. Yet, none of them stop to help. The reason is hurry. The more pressed they were, the less observant they were.

When we’re pressed for time our cognitive map narrows. We just want to get the job done.

There’s So Much To Do

There’s a lot of ground to cover. Fill the script, take the history, examine, plan the tests, make referrals, fill the note, fill the right code, give a shot if necessary, enter those details, etc. The more you have to do, the less is our aptitude for compassion. There’s plenty to accomplish because it’s not the patient but all the additional powers that be that we have to please.

Too Self Focused

I’ve seen in many patient encounters, physicians are too self-focused. Instead of listening, they often share their own experiences. Patients don’t want to know how you’re battling something. They’ll figure things out. They want you to listen to them as they go through something.

I’m not sure why but plenty of physicians are simply looking to boost their egos. You see this on social media all the time. If physicians show some compassion, they’ll make an entire post about it and look for validation. Our patients cannot and will not serve our egos. Their people like us. Suffering people.

We’re Afraid

We’re afraid of what people are going to tell us. The deep, dark, dirty details that some people let us know can be scary. We don’t know what to do with this information. We’re scared people will ask us for help. And we can’t extend ourselves to every single person. So we shut conversations down, ignore questions, and pretend to have heard their story while we’re busy going about our own work.

Patients Have No Boundaries

Once they start talking, they don’t stop. That’s not always the case but older patients generally don’t understand that there’s limited time. They’re coming from the period when doctors weren’t looking at the computers. They were talking to them and listening to them. They were invested in their families and their outcomes. Whereas many medical professionals want to have clear patient boundaries and rightly so.

Can We Be More Compassionate?

I’ve watched so many styles of doctors over the years and here’s what I’ve learned from the compassionate ones and their practices.

Preparation is Key

The more experienced a physician is the more they prepare. I’ve noticed that the more seasoned ones come in early and start going through all of their cases before the day has even begun. They’re not reviewing the file for the first time in front of the patient. They’re ready and they’ve taken the time to go through the previous labs, the necessary tests for today, any referral notes, etc. So when the patient walks in they’re not wasting time flipping through tabs but are able to talk to their patients and listen to them.

Listen To Patients

Don’t listen because you have to respond, just listen to them. I remember when I go to see my dentist, the same one I’ve been seeing for the last 17 years, she will take the time to ask what am I doing and how things are at home. She went above and beyond to try and help me when my dad passed away. She didn’t have to and I didn’t need help but she was moved with compassion because of my circumstances at home. The thing was she listened to me, even though she had so many people waiting outside. I am usually very private but she encouraged me to talk so that she could listen.

The Power of Touch

I cannot tell you how many people complete clinical visits without touching their patients. It conveys so much. Examine your patient. Lots of people live alone. They’ve gone so long without a hug. When I had an abscess, I went to urgent care. I knew the follicle was infected and the abscess would have to be incised. The doctor first said, “I think I know you’re a medical professional,” and then as I mentioned where I graduated, he had already lain me down, had me on my side, and positioned, with subtle touches here and there. I didn’t even realize it.

Explain What Needs to be Explained While Sitting Down

The same doctor then went on to explain where he would make an incision n my arm and why. How he would try and prevent a scar from forming etc. Most patients are more compliant when you take the time to explain what’s going on. Let’s operate on a level where people are intelligent. I remember when my dad died, the doctor didn’t even tell me his name. I had no idea how he died except that they had begun CPR. We stood (not even seated) while he gave me this news. To this day, all I know is what is written on his death certificate.

Sit down with your patients. When you stand, it translates that you’re in a rush and that you’re above them. Eye to eye, seated, helps. Explain until they understand. Make them repeat what you’ve said. I’ve seen so many people come to their PCP where a specialist has explained the procedure to them but they have no idea what was said.

Read Non-verbal cues

No one wants to come to a hospital. There are better places to be. Most people are anxious, afraid, and nervous. Respond to those cues. Address their concerns. Eyes, hands, body language, convey something.

Don’t Pass the Buck

If there’s a problem, we tend to pass it onto another doctor, let the FP make the referral, let someone write the prescription, let someone else figure out what went wrong in the pharmacy, or why they haven’t shown up for an appointment. Instead, we should be solution-oriented. Your patient has a problem, what can be done to fix it. Can you ask your admin team or medical assistant to help them out? Can your office have a customer service rep?

Compassion in Medicine Is Not Easy

The longer the days in medicine, the harder it seems to be compassionate. You get tougher, put more distance and detach yourself from people’s problems. That’s how you survive feeling pain or overextending yourself. Let’s not forget, one day we’re human too. Let’s do to others what we expect d one for ourselves.

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82 The 1st Commandment: God First & God Only

Anything that leads us away from God becomes an idol in our life.

Dennis Sousa

WHO IS DENNIS SOUSA?Dennis Sousa

Mr. Dennis Sousa is the Director of Faith Formation at Saint Philip Church in Greenville, RI. He earned his M.A. in Theology from Providence College. Dennis has served on various oversight committees and advisory boards within the Diocese of Providence and is a widely sought-after speaker. He currently lives in Scituate, RI, with his wife Jennifer and their daughter Grace.

What is the 1st Commandment?PQF · The 1st Commandment: God First & God Only

In this episode, Mr. Dennis Sousa talks about the first commandment. He explains:
-What is the first Commandment? Does God lay these down Himself or is it an invention by people as some claim?
-How do we practice the first commandment and put God first?
-How do we sin against this commandment?
-What happens when we don’t follow the first commandment?
-What are some of the uncommon idols in our life and when we identify them what do we do?

Our Hearts Were Made for Him

It’s amazing how God works. In December 2021, I sat down after many days of Christmas prep to plot this years direction for the podcast. Personally, there were so many things happening and my own faith journey had been revived but I was tired in ministry. I was asking for direction from the Lord. And one of the things I heard was the commandments. I have learned now to just best get on with the instructions when He gives them.

So I started planning the 1st commandment. I turned everywhere online. And couldn’t find someone who knew this well enough to teach others. I looked on YouTube and lo and behold Dennis did an entire YT video on the subject. That was a year ago. As I was listening to him explain how he did the videos, I went “God is so fantastic.” He ordered our steps knowing fully well down the line what was needed for the year to come. And so if you’re wondering if you’re sowing and there’s no fruit, don’t fret. God is in control and He’s bringing it altogether in due time.

Our hearts are like idol making factories.

Dennis Sousa

The first commandment is simple. “I am the Lord thy God; thou shalt not have strange gods before Me.” Sounds simple too. But it is far more than that.

I love how Dennis used the Baltimore Catechism to teach this. Like I said during the podcast, it’s my first time actually seeing it taught this way. Dennis talks about how we sin against God and His 1st commandment by sinning against faith, hope and charity. There’s so much to unpack here that you have to listen to what he says. In the end, it just shows that our hearts were made for God.

The Baltimore CatechismWhy the 1st commandment is so important?

Dennis talks extensively what happens when we don’t order our lives around God. We know this ourselves. Our lives fall apart but I love how he uses the example of his daughter and himself. And how God lays down not just the 1st commandment but all ten simply out of love. Like a child is asked to hold onto their father. Yet, we choose to hold onto our idols and let go of God. Do you have any idols that are holding you back? How did you smash them?

I’m super happy about doing the the commandments this year. It has put a new spark into my ministry as I take on the new year.

ENJOYED THIS PODCAST?

We hope you enjoyed this podcast. Check out our podcasts on Adoration and St Paul. Finally, if you liked this podcast, like us, leave us a comment and share our episodes on social media with those who may benefit from it. If there is a particular saint that you would like to hear about us, tell us and we’ll add him or her to our future episodes.

We are on iheartradio, Stitcher, Itunes, Spotify, Pandora and tunein.com. We’d love to hear from you.

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81 Dr. John Bruchalski, MD Talks About The Pro-Life Movement

I think pitting a mom against her baby is incredible barbaric and that is what contraception and abortion do.

Dr. John Bruchalski, MD

Who Is Dr. John Bruchalski?Dr. John Bruchalski, MD

Dr. John Bruchalski grew up in northern New Jersey. After attending a Salesian High School and a Jesuit college, he attended the University of South Alabama, College of Medicine, where he received his MD degree in 1987. He completed his residency in obstetrics and gynecology at Eastern Virginia Medical Center and the Jones Institute for Reproductive Medicine in Virginia in 1991, and received his board certification in 1993.

Dr. Bruchalski founded the Tepeyac Family Center in Fairfax, Virginia in 1994, with the mission of establishing an obstetrical and gynecological facility that combines the best of modern medicine with the healing presence of Jesus Christ—providing affordable healthcare to women (in particular, those with crisis pregnancies). In 2000, he founded Divine Mercy Care, a non-profit organization dedicated to performing spiritual and corporal works of mercy in Northern Virginia, Maryland, and the District of Columbia. He is currently the Chairman of its Board of Directors. In 2005, Tepeyac Family Center became a part of Divine Mercy Care and currently operates as the first Catholic health care facility in the Diocese of Arlington.

He has been a part of numerous videos concerning pro-life issues and the story of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Dr. Bruchalski has been married to his wife, Carolyn, since 1991 and is the father of two boys. They live in Virginia.

PQF · 81 Dr. John Bruchalski, MD Talks About The Pro Life MovementThe Pro Life Movement

Happy New Year 2022. This year we’re beginning with a powerful episode on the Pro-life Movement and Abortion. I first read about Dr. Bruchalski three months ago. I read his conversion story online and was so struck by how God uses everyone in His kingdom. I invited him to talk about the Pro-life Movement and his staff at Tepeyac were so helpful. Kathryn Doherty organized a quick appointment and we’re able to record.

In this episode, Dr. John Bruchalski, MD, FACOG talks about abortion and the Pro-life Movement. He explains:
-What is the Pro-Life Movement?
-What really happens in an abortion? In contraception? How does this all contribute to the death of a human being?
-What to say to the Catholics who claim to be a) pro-choice b) claimants that life begins nowhere at fertilization c) claimants who say this is a “life saving” procedure?
-How can doctors like us fight the new bills being tabled by the government, say no, not give in to peer pressure, face the backlash and take a stand?
-How do you deal with the aftermath of past actions?
-What can ordinary people do to help with this movement?

What Can We Do?

Dr. Bruchalski doesn’t just talk. He has done exactly what he preaches, which is to reach out to all the women in his state. He’s also training doctors, nurses, and medical staff from across the country who want to do what’s best for their female patients in keeping with Catholic teaching. It’s all science based but life affirming medicine.

Three steps that he suggests for all of us: 1. Pray. 2. Help Pro-Life Organizations 3. Look for opportunities in your own community.

I used to volunteer with the Sisters of Life in NY and if you’re in that area, these nuns are very focused on Pro-Life movement and the mothers. So check them out.

You can also reach out to Dr. Burchalski and see how Divine Mercy Care can come to your area and help.

I also love how Dr. Bruchalski says we need to demand better. Women need to demand better from their doctors, their partners and society in general not for themselves but their babies too instead of being bullied by peers and medics. He suggested reading Everything Below The Waist.

Do you have a special Pro-Live Movement Initiative in your area? How do you help them?

ENJOYED THIS PODCAST?

We hope you enjoyed this podcast. Check out our podcasts on Marian Apparitions and Mother Teresa. Finally, if you liked this podcast, like us, leave us a comment and share our episodes on social media with those who may benefit from it. If there is a particular saint that you would like to hear about us, tell us and we’ll add him or her to our future episodes.

We are on iheartradio, Stitcher, Itunes, Spotify, Pandora and tunein.com. We’d love to hear from you.

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Merry Christmas: Pre-order Starting Again

Finally, I have book 2 in the Starting in Henderson County Series. This has been a long time coming. I started writing Starting Again almost two years ago. This is a very different book from when I started. I hadn’t planned on it being a holiday romance but since I finished it a little before Christmas, I revised it to be a book for the holidays.

Even the character of Gage was supposed to be just a secondary one but as I wrote, he morphed into a lead and I couldn’t get it out of my head while I wrote it. The style is the same as Starting Over.

You can do a Christmas pre-order here.

OUR RELEASE DATE IS 31st JAN!!!

Blurb

When Dawn realizes starts prepping for the Christmas season, little does she know that it will be her last in the Henderson County. However, with the announcement of her ex-boyfriend’s wedding, Dawn wants to flee.

Until she meets Gage Baxter. He’s everything she wants in a man, except she has no plans to stay here anymore and Gage seems too good to be true.

One stormy night, she finds out that one secret Gage kept to himself that caused her to waste twelve years of her life waiting.

Or was it destiny?

Cover

Les designed my cover. As always, she’s fantastic. We went with a holiday theme. And so just like Starting Over had a fall theme, this book has a winter theme.

Les usually works with me on most of my ebook covers. It’s been three years since she started working with me. I have never met her and yet, every single time she creates these magical covers that just make my books shine.

The cover for this is no exception. The Christmas decorations and the winter snow capture all the feels of the book. It just looks like a seasonal Christmas romance.

I also love the pair in the image. (I don’t know who they are) They are a cute couple and I think guys with a five o’ clock shadow are so ruggedly handsome!

What do you think?

Trailer

Here’s the trailer. As always, I work with Lumen 5 to create my book trailers. And so they are very similar in look and feel. The music is credited to Nikolay Kiselev.

Merry Christmas 2021

I can’t believe that 2021 is finally drawing to a close. This year has been monumental in terms of what I’ve accomplished. I have 7 audiobooks out and this year the pivot to audio was really a big turn for me. I’m quite happy with that decision. I’ve undertaken two substantial edits with three confirmed books for 2022. God willing!!!

With two major releases this year with different publishers, it was a mad second half, but I’m glad that I’ve had the time to write.

Despite all the downs, I’m happy for the many blessings this year on the writing front.

And Christmas has been busy. Despite being a post-it, note taking, highly organized nut, I’ve been frantic trying to do all the thinge we do for Christmas.

Hang new curtains, clean house, make sweets, bake, cook, take down the decorations, etc. I also had plans to travel to Turkey or Sri Lanka for a holiday. My mother vetoed the first out and Omicron negated the second. So I was very disappointed.

I’m looking forward to traveling somewhere (anywhere really) next year.

Work and writing have kept me busy though. The beauty of the Christmas season is joy. It infects your being even if the circumstances are trying. I actually found myself editing this book completely joyous about everything. Even as I write this now, I can hear the children all making the crib for our sector. Christmas carolers are going around from one building to another. The weather is nippy and my mother is frying all the sweets we have shaped. The moments are enough. Christ is enough.

I hope you find joy in your Christmas season.

Edit: I finalized this post today after Christmas season because we’re done eating and feasting. Christmas has now actually begun with family making visits and us spending more time together remembering the ones who aren’t with us. I also visited my dad’s grave and finished all our visits to the bereaved. Now it’s watching Christmas movies, caroling, and dancing.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas season. Felize Natal.

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80 Navigating Loneliness Through Christ’s Example

“We are not meant to be lonely. We are meant to be socially connected and a part of the body of Christ.”

Dr. Kevin Vost on Navigating loneliness

Who is Kevin Vost? Kevin Vost

Kevin Vost, Psy.D., obtained his doctorate in clinical psychology from Adler University in Chicago and has taught psychology and gerontology at the University of Illinois at Springfield and Aquinas College in Nashville, Tennessee. A revert to Catholicism after 25 years of atheism, Kevin has written over 20 Catholic books from Memorize the Faith! to The Catholic Guide to Loneliness. The father of two sons and grandfather of three grandchildren, he lives with his wife Kathy in Springfield, Illinois.  

PQF · 80 Navigating Loneliness Through Christ’s ExampleNavigating Loneliness

In this episode, Dr. Kevin Vost talks about loneliness. He explains:
-How being alone is different from loneliness
-Why it is not good to be lonely?
-How Christ teaches us to navigate loneliness

When I wrote to Kevin about his book on loneliness, it was something that we were praying about for a long time. It was never on our list for 2021. One of our guests had COVID, another cancelled and I was praying about what we talk about for Christmas and whom to invite.

Through this season, I was also having so many tentative thoughts about this ministry and whether any of this mattered. I hate to say it, I was feeling lonely on my own personal walk and I wrote to Kevin based on that slight prompting from the Holy Spirit. He’s a famous author and I honestly didn’t even think he’d reply. But God has a way of surprising us. Kevin reached out to me twice. I was so glad he did because this message is so apt and wonderful especially as we face another COVID lockdown.

More people are struggling with mental health and finding it difficult to connect. Kevin has some practical advice. It’s a mix of physical, emotional, and spiritual steps.

His research showed that 1 in 4 people don’t have a close friend that they can share their emotions with. And I know many people will say how can you be alone when you have Jesus?

That’s what Kevin explains so well. Even Jesus had friends and his close three. We can only learn how to to deal with loneliness like Jesus did. By focusing on others rather than ourselves.

Kevin does a great job explaining it and I hope you will find encouragement in his words. I’m so grateful that he agreed to talk to us about this.

This Christmas Help People Deal With Loneliness

This Christmas, I urge you to reach out to people who are lonely. Ask God to show you who you need to share a few words with or make a phone call. If there’s someone who’s weighing on your heart, that’s the Holy Spirit’s nudge. Even if it’s a gentle nudge, don’t ignore it. You might be that person’s hope and reason to live or smile.

Don’t assume things because of social media or ignore that nudge because they always look happy. Talk, call, share a meal, a cup of tea, greet people, and smile. It makes someone’s day!

Let’s try and make this Christmas season meaningful for others and through them, for ourselves.

We Hit 80 Episodes

We also hit 80 episodes. I don’t know how we came so far. All I can say is “But by the grace of God.” I’ve said this many times, I’m not qualified as a podcaster, don’t have the knowledge, or the experience. God provided this ministry and He has sustained it.

I only ask that you support this ministry by praying for me and the guests that come on. One small prayer for us will do. Also, share us widely with people who might benefit. We don’t know what people’s needs are but God does. And so I pray that you can sow this podcast as a seed and God will take care of the harvest.

ENJOYED THIS PODCAST?

We hope you enjoyed this podcast. Check out our podcasts on St. Thomas Aquinas and Preparing for Advent. Finally, if you liked this podcast, like us, leave us a comment and share our episodes on social media with those who may benefit from it. If there is a particular saint that you would like to hear about us, tell us and we’ll add him or her to our future episodes.

We are on iheartradio, Stitcher, Itunes, Spotify, Pandora and tunein.com. We’d love to hear from you.

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79 Greed And Generosity

“We are called to live the Beatitudes and one of them is blessed are the merciful.”

Anne DeSantis

Who is Anne DeSantis?

Anne DeSantis is a wife and a “Mom” and the director of a non-profit called the St. Raymond Nonnatus Foundation for Freedom, Family, and Faith.  In addition, Anne is a Catholic Author with CatholicMom, Catholic 365, and Catholic Lane.  She hosts a weekly podcast with co-host Bill Snyder called “Sewing Hope” and a weekly on-line TV show called “Journeys in Faith with Anne DeSantis” on Fiat Ministry Network.

More information can be found about Anne DeSantis at www.annedesantis.com which includes links to the podcast and TV show.  The website for the St. Raymond Nonnatus Foundation is www.nonnatus.org

PQF · 79 Greed And GenerosityGreed And Generosity

In this episode, Anne DeSantis talks about greed and generosity. She explains:
-Why is greed a sin and what does God say about it?
-How do we develop generosity since this is a gift of the Holy Spirit?
-What steps can we take in being generous towards the poor and marginalized?
-How can we give when we don’t have enough ourselves?

What Can I Give?

When Anne talked about her book, I was only thinking of generosity in terms of material needs. Everyone’s struggling at this time. And yet, Anne challenges us to think in new ways. Be generous with our talents, our time, our presence, with ourselves. The advice is simple. Love God and Love neighbor.

Everyone gets the Hebrew prayer of the Shema accurately. It’s the call echoed throughout the ages right from Deuteronomy 6. That our God is one lord, and we should love Him with everything. This vertical aspect is easier. How do we love horizontally, especially people that try us and fight us.

In our own homes, sometimes it can be hard to do so when we lose sight of the forest for the trees.

Anne has some great takeaways about us just loving people. We don’t go about fixing anyone. God does the fixing. We don’t make ourselves look or appear perfect, God loves us as we are and He looks at the heart.

This Thanksgiving

This thanksgiving let’s look at how we can give. Not just in material ways but in small simple ways. Smile at someone, acknowledge people’s presence, when tempted to lash out, zip our tongues, when keen on sharing another image to impress, express censure, serve in our parish, help out where needed and simply be an example of Christ. It’s tough but we can try. It’s tougher to do at home. I know! Let’s also be thankful for the smaller things in life. The running water, our health, eyes to see, ears to hear, a family (even a dysfunctional/ crazy one) and the gift of Jesus.

This thanksgiving, I’m also grateful to all our listeners. We’ve covered the globe in over 11,000 plays of this podcast. Something that wouldn’t have been possible without you and God’s favor. So I’m grateful for our guests and the people who help me in small ways, their prayers, their advice and their emails. Please continue praying for this ministry. To all of you, thank you!

And have a blessed Thanksgiving.

ENJOYED THIS PODCAST?

We hope you enjoyed this podcast. Check out our podcasts on Mother Teresa and Gratitude. Finally, if you liked this podcast, like us, leave us a comment and share our episodes on social media with those who may benefit from it. If there is a particular saint that you would like to hear about us, tell us and we’ll add him or her to our future episodes.

We are on iheartradio, Stitcher, Itunes, Spotify, Pandora and tunein.com. We’d love to hear from you.

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Book Release: Where We Come From

Book Release: WHERE WE COME FROM

WHERE WE COME FROM is out today. This is my second book with Inskpell Publishing. I’m so grateful to Melissa Keir and her team for making this book happen.

Get Your Copy Now

We are wide. So you should be able to find this book at your favorite bookstore.

AmazonKoboB & NAppleBook blurb

Where We Come From is a gripping, emotional tale that deals with love in small towns and the harsh realities of an Indian farmers’ life. It raises the question of how where we come from affects the way we love others.

After having his future crushed by an ex, who betrayed him and walked away, Surya Atwal places an ad for a bride, a woman who shares his dreams for a home and family. This time he won’t let his heart make the decision. He’ll do it on his own terms without risking his legacy.

Ashtami Sial, a no nonsense Delhi girl with a sassy attitude, matches her bangles with her churidars. She’s not afraid of hard work but refuses to be simply a brood mare to a dour husband. She’s determined to build a family with love and will do anything to achieve it. Even herding her husband with the cattle, and building the village herself.

Life in Rori, a rural village in Haryana where the only neighbors are cattle and chickens, takes hard work and a little luck. Surya and Ashtami butt heads as the harsh realities of farming life threatens their home and livelihood. But the shadow of the woman who ripped out Surya’s heart looms over their marriage and might cost him more than he bargained for.

Can Surya risk his heart with someone new and leave his past behind? Or will he lose the one person who fell in love with him at first sight?

Book Trailer

I’m so happy with the release of another book. It’s taken me a while to write another book based in India. I started writing this as COVID swept New York. It was a kind of release to write this during that period when I was volunteering all day.

There’s so much to address with the plight of farmers in India and I’ve touched on a few of those issues, Debt, suicide, lack of water, lack of electricity, farming laws, stubble burning, access to healthcare and many more.

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it. We’re planning work on the audiobook. Until then, I hope you can pick this book in e format or print. Inkspell decided to do a print run of this book and I’m bouncing over it.

Delays in shipping means I still haven’t received my print copies. Once they’re here, I can’t wait to read a chapter and share it with you.

Swag

I’m give away a giant prize of

– The signed copy of WHERE WE COME FROM

-A Bandhni dupatta,

–Indian bangles

-Tote bag

The final gift bag of swag will go out after a lucky draw on November 30. I’ll draw out a winner in a raffle and send the gift box to one lucky winner!

All you have to do is share the book, trailer, images on social media and tag me. Or sign up to my newsletter!

Excerpt

Finally, I want to share an excerpt of this book.

“Ashtami, this is not your place.”

She waited. “So today’s been a waste of time?”

“I have to say yes.”

“Even though we have chemistry?”

“You can call it whatever … physics, chemistry, or biology. It doesn’t matter.”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing. You’re great as you are, but there are other things that have to be done here, and you’d fail in all of them.”

“Explain.”

“I was engaged to a woman exactly like you. City girl, pretty, headstrong, opinionated, had expensive taste. And I was fine with that. Except with time, she wanted me to give up farming, sell the land, and move to Delhi.”

Ashtami didn’t turn back, just kept looking straight ahead.

“We were engaged for a long time. And we dated before that for years. She had to know I couldn’t give up farming. Yet, she pushed. I said no. Everything turned messy after that.”

“I’m not like her. You have no right to judge us the same way. You just met me.”

“Yet, I’ve learned from my mistakes. This time I want someone realistic; someone who doesn’t have any romantic ideas of farm life. This is not the movies.”

“Nobody said it was.”

“I’m not going to go bankrupt again.”

“Who said anything about money?”

“You don’t understand. We planned a wedding. I bought everything, her gold, her clothes, and when she left, she took it all with her. I was buried under loans, still am, and I’m barely making a profit between the banks and the seed. I won’t do it again.”

“It’s just money; we can make that back.”

“No, it’s not. I nearly lost the land. This is my legacy, my gift to my children. I want them to have what is mine, provided I can keep it in the first place.

“You need someone to love you.”

“No. I need help. I need a partner. Love doesn’t figure anywhere in the equation.”

“No woman would settle for that,” Ashtami said.

I hope you enjoy my latest release. This is my last release for 2021 and this year couldn’t have been better with two major releases. With every book, I feel incredibly blessed and I thank Inkspell and their team for bringing this book into the world.

Happy reading.

The post Book Release: Where We Come From appeared first on PAMELA Q. FERNANDES.

Cover Reveal: Where We Come From

WHERE WE COME FROM

I’m so happy to share the cover for WHERE WE COME FROM. This is my second book with Inskpell Publishing. And I’m super happy to share the cover with all my readers.

Shel designed my cover and after a few back and forth emails, this is what she came up with. I love the sunwashed colors of the fields.

Book blurb

Where We Come From is a gripping, emotional tale that deals with love in small towns and the harsh realities of an Indian farmers’ life. It raises the question of how where we come from affects the way we love others.

After having his future crushed by an ex, who betrayed him and walked away, Surya Atwal places an ad for a bride, a woman who shares his dreams for a home and family. This time he won’t let his heart make the decision. He’ll do it on his own terms without risking his legacy.

Ashtami Sial, a no nonsense Delhi girl with a sassy attitude, matches her bangles with her churidars. She’s not afraid of hard work but refuses to be simply a brood mare to a dour husband. She’s determined to build a family with love and will do anything to achieve it. Even herding her husband with the cattle, and building the village herself.

Life in Rori, a rural village in Haryana where the only neighbors are cattle and chickens, takes hard work and a little luck. Surya and Ashtami butt heads as the harsh realities of farming life threatens their home and livelihood. But the shadow of the woman who ripped out Surya’s heart looms over their marriage and might cost him more than he bargained for.

Can Surya risk his heart with someone new and leave his past behind? Or will he lose the one person who fell in love with him at first sight?

Book Trailer

Here’s the book trailer for Where We Come From. When I started the book, or had an idea of it, there was just the idea of debt and Indian farmers. However, the Indian Farmers protests have now reached a height and this book is so timely as it details the life and relationships of an average farmer.

Pre-Order SwagPre-order Now

WHERE WE COME FROM goes on sale November 14th, 2021. Until then the book is on pre-order. You can pre-order the book and when you do send me a receipt via direct message on Twitter or email me at drpqfernandesATgmailDOTcom.

For every pre-order, I’ll send a free audiobook of one of my romance novels.

Also, every pre-order email that I get with your receipt is eligible for swag!!!! Yes. I’ll give away a giant prize of

– The signed copy of WHERE WE COME FROM

-A Bandhni dupatta,

–Indian bangles

-Tote bag

The final gift bag of swag will go out after a lucky draw on November 30. I’ll draw out a winner in a raffle and send the gift box to one lucky winner!

BOGO

If you pre-order and send me the email address of a friend who loves reading romance I will send you an ecopy of Wish Upon A Bollywood Star.

For everyone who shares posts to promote WHERE WE COME FROM, I’ll send a digital book mark.

-Tag me @PamelaQFerns on Twitter to share

-Share this post

-Or add it to your too-read list on Goodreads.

-I’m not on Instagram but I’d be happy if you could share and screenshot it to me

And you’re all set.

I’m going to do a video on How I Wrote this book and I’m super excited that I’ve been blessed with another release this year. Thank you to Melissa, my publisher and Yezanira, my editor who worked with me. And thanks to Asha and Christina, for whom this book is dedicated to.

And thank you readers!

Happy reading.

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78 How To Reclaim Family Time?

“We can get a lot of mileage over devotions, practices, and habits over the course of their young lives that gives our children their orientation in the world, that this is who we are.”

Tim Muldooon

Who is Tim Muldoon?Tim Muldoon

Tim Muldoon (Ph.D., Catholic Systematic Theology, Duquesne University) is a theologian, author, and professor for nearly 25 years. He has written or edited a number of books on Ignatian spirituality, marriage and family, and the theology of the laity.

He and his wife Sue Muldoon, a therapist and religious educator, have written three books on the spirituality of family life: Six Sacred Rules for Families, The Discerning Parent (both from Ave Maria Press), and Reclaiming Family Time (The Word Among Us Press).

PQF · 78 How To Reclaim Family Time?How To Reclaim Family Time?

In this episode, Tim Muldoon talks about how to reclaim family time. He explains:
-How do we know the time we’re spending with our family is not enough or good enough?
-What are some rules for families?
-Are there steps we can take to reclaim family time?
-What happens if we don’t do this? What’s the danger?
-What can we do once we’ve reclaimed that family time? What do we do?

The Problem With Reclaiming Family Time

When I asked Tim about coming on our podcast it was in response to the fact that there were so many prayer petitions for families. Families or domestic churches as we know them are under immense attack.

One of the problems is communication and family time. We tend to spend time with our families but is it really quality time.

All of us juggle with how much until we feel guilty when someone complains or you forget something. I love how Tim mentions that we only have our children for so long. Time really flies and in that short span we have to prepare our kids with faith, hope, and love that will outlast us.

My mother as an empty nester always complains to any young parent she meets to hold their children dear and cherish the moments because that’s all they have. Most of them don’t understand her.

That’s because as a parent they are focused on the moment. And Tim keeps reminding us that we should be focused on the bigger picture.

Tim talks about setting aside leisure time and spending it as a collective and with each member for the family. He also tells us not to beat ourselves over it. Parenting can be hard but we can learn from the examples of the people that have done this before. Tim and Sue have written a book, Reclaiming Family Time for those who’d like to read more.

ENJOYED THIS PODCAST?

We hope you enjoyed this podcast. Check out our podcasts on Raising Christian Children and Common Qualities of Families that Produced Saints. Finally, if you liked this podcast, like us, leave us a comment and share our episodes on social media with those who may benefit from it. If there is a particular saint that you would like to hear about us, tell us and we’ll add him or her to our future episodes.

We are on iheartradio, Stitcher, Itunes, Spotify, Pandora and tunein.com. We’d love to hear from you.

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STARTING OVER IS NOW AN AUDIOBOOK

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I am so happy to announce just in time for this fall Starting Over is an audiobook! Yay!

It’s taken so long because I’m new to audio and am slowly releasing all my books in audio format. This has been a labor of love. It’s also been super exciting because after non fiction, this was my first go at fiction.

Narrated by Madeline Starr.

Starting Over Audiobook

In this sweet fall romance, Cara Wallace is stunned to find Nathan Reynolds back in Henderson County. His sudden arrival brings to the fore unresolved questions of what might have been.

How could she unwrite the past?

How could she undo the mistakes?

How could she unlove him?

Nathan Reynolds can’t understand why Cara chose to stay in this small town. How could she sacrifice her career, her future and their love for a small run-down cottage in the middle of nowheresville?

Whatever her reasons, Nathan intends to find out and start over again!

The Process

The process has been longish. I contacted my voice actor, Madeline Starr after listening to her voice sample. I knew she’d sound great for the project. It took a while but Madeline made all the characters come to life.

I love her voice! And hope to work with her on other books.

There’s so much effort that goes into audio production. And I’m just starting to find that out. So after listening and editing, and uploading and finalizing, here we are. A project that I started nearly three months ago is now here. Phew!

I chose Starting Over because its the first project I’ve written seamlessly from the heart. It was also short and I was just testing the audio fiction waters.

You can also listen to a sample on Youtube.

Where Can You Listen to the Audiobook?

Starting Over is distributed wide. If there is a library or book subscription service you use, its there.

KoboGoogle PlayScribdLibro.Fm [image error]

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