Susan Thatcher's Blog, page 13

And Now a Word From a Former English Teacher

(Okay, Language Arts for junior high school kids, but the age range is appropriate).

People of America:

I have detected a widespread error in English usage that should be addressed forthwith. Actually a lot of them (Look, spelling really DOES count. Don’t rely on Spellcheck or auto correct. THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND HOMONYMS). It is time to reclaim our intelligence and coherent communications. Break out the composition books, because class is in session .

(Great Britain? You’re lovely just as you are. You guys have your own spelling issues, such as an excessive fondness for “u” : flavour, etc. And there’s that whole “aluminium” thing. We Yanks may be brusque, but we don’t dally with excess letters)

Not only did I teach Language Arts, I’m an author (buy my books. See the link at the top of the page). While I enjoy the democratization of technology where anyone can now publish a book, the downside is there is an ever-increasing amount of material out there where the content may be great, but the execution is sub-standard. I belong to a lot of author groups on Facebook and some of the spelling/grammar errors I see in posts have been carried into the stories written by the authors.

First of all, if you are an author, Yea! (That is the correct spelling, not “yay.”) Word of advice: make sure your editor knows as much about spelling, punctuation, grammar, and sentence construction as you do, if not more. You are painting with words and while it may be acceptable for one of your characters to screw up language (in dialogue), it is not acceptable for the author to do so.  You don’t have to be an Oxford don, but you do need to know and understand the rules before you break them.

Easy starter here: Whatever THIS woman does, language-wise? Do the opposite and you’ll be correct.

LIE v. LAY

This is my pet peeve du jour because I see “lay” misused EVERYWHERE.  ”I’m going to go lay down.” WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!

If you are moving yourself from a vertical (up and down) position to horizontal (side to side) position, e.g. taking a nap, you are LYING down. If you are placing an object (such as one of my books. Really, go buy them, they’re great) on a surface, you are LAYING down the object.

Thus, the act of lovemaking, when someone puts you on a bed (don’t nitpick here, I’m trying to make a point), YOU are the object and YOU are getting LAID.

See how that works?

Of course, the past tense of lie is lay, but just keep that handy-dandy chart around and refer to it often.

LIE = Recline, LAY = put or place

“Lay down your weapons” (Put or place your guns down)

“I’m going to lie down from this migraine you kids have given me. I can’t wait until school starts again.” (Recline in a dark, quiet room and prayer for the school board to approve year round sessions)

Understand: I’m blaming word processing programs. They’ve been programmed to help us out but binary code is not artificial intelligence. They haven’t advanced enough to pick up on bad grammar or improper usage. We humans know ALL the rules for proper writing and sentence construction. Microsoft Word is still a few sandwiches short of a picnic in this regard. DON’T rely on SpellCheck, I beg you. Get a dictionary. Or pay to use Grammarly.

LIGHTNING v. LIGHTENING

One is a natural phenomenon seen in thunderstorms and volcanos.

And the other is an alternative term for bleached hair

(God forgive me for using a Whoredashian to make a point)

The confusion has become so widespread that when I went to look for images of “lightening” in Google Images, most of the first hits were pictures of lightning.

Again, they are both actual words, but word processing programs cannot deduce from the context which one is appropriate (I will be sending invitations to a “there,” “their,” and “they’re” seminar). It is up to YOU, the actual human being whom an over-stressed, underpaid teacher  attempted to guide through this minefield, to know the difference. If you graduated sixth grade, there is no excuse for screwing up vocabulary and spelling like this.

Of course, if you’ve read all this, shrugged, and said, “Meh. Doesn’t matter”, this is what you’ll become:

Full of sound and fury signifying nothing.

(That’s a different English course. English lit. “Macbeth”).

One final shot to drive the point home:

Yes, I Can

I’m writing this particular post in my iPad, which is not easy (It’s not easy for me. Please tell your Mac-raised 5 year old who just created her thirtieth app to shut up). Mario*, my laptop (previous laptop was Luigi and when he died and was generously replaced by a friend, her son declared that the replacement needed to be named Mario. Far be it from me to argue) For instance, just typing text into this post is a challenge because I find the iPad uncooperative (yes, I suppose I should hit an Apple Genius Bar and learn how to use it to full effect). I’m a Word/PC girl and shifting gears is tough. I was ready to chuck the thing across the room when I switched to writing the post in Pages to translate over. In his day, Mario just did as he was told without this “smarter than you” Apple back talk (well, I think I’m getting it. I swear this thing smirks when I turn my back).

Bottom line, I need to get a new computer. Pronto. I was working on the prequel to “These Foolish Things” on Mario (and since he’s been doing the computer equivalent of coughing up blood, I’ve been saving my work up to Dropbox. I may be Apple illiterate, but I not stupid). I have a lot of stuff important to me saved on that and the error message says something about the hard drive (uh oh…).

Can I just run out to Best Buy and go shopping? No. This has been the Year of Holding On By My Fingernails. (This is bringing up a whole train of thought that I won’t share until I’m working again, with benefits that include mental health and can talk to a therapist). It has not been a lot of fun. Put it to you this way; my hourly wage (and I don’t always work 40 hours. For instance, this week, 8 hours) has dropped 78%. Let that sink in. And the first person who says I should maybe get an education so I don’t have to work a dead-end job: I have a law degree. (No, practicing law in California is not an option) I had years of experience working good-paying desk jobs.

However, I am not going to panic. First of all, I know where my towel is (Douglas Adams reference). I don’t need “Don’t Panic” in large friendly letters.

Secondly, as challenging as this year has been, I’ve been able to pull off a few miracles here and there. For instance, when I needed my car to pass inspection so I could drive legally, it passed. I don’t know how or why (it had previously failed), but it passed and is street legal. When I needed housing in short order, it materialized within 24 hours and the place is exactly the kind of housing I would choose for myself. It’s temporary, but right now, I have an excellent roof over my head. And right now is all that matters.

This computer issue will be resolved at the right time and in the right way. I have no doubt.

Going Mobile…

I have a friend, Dan Corey, who is  behind some outstanding comic book series: “Prophet,” “Moriarty,” and now “Red City.”

Link to Danger Katt

Buy their stuff. It’s excellent.

Anyway, Dan has been making the rounds of conventions and comic book stores. He’s  been on comics  podcasts (Fandom Planet. Great show if you geek out over sci fi, comic books, super heros, etc. On iTunes), talked to the Sherlock Holmes fanbase on THEIR podcasts. He’s been getting around. The idea is not just to sell comic books, but also to connect to fans and industry pros who may be able to further his career.

“Well, hell’s bells,” I thought. “Maybe that’s what I should be doing.”

So, I will be taking Liz Gardner and Ty Hadley on the road.

February 7, 2015

Deep In the Heart

Make your plans, buy your copies, and I will sign IN GOLD SHARPIE!!!

Then in July, continuing the southern swing:

Venue to be determined, but it WILL be Atlanta (How many times have I read/seen “Gone With the Wind?”)

And I will not be hiding behind my table. I will be mingling, meeting, and greeting.

Let’s face it, the mountain hasn’t been coming to Mohammed (although Mohammed would appreciate it since she is extremely low on gas).  So, time to dig out my slip on shoes for traveling (Lucchese cowboy boots, among others) and hit the road.

I’m waiting to hear on a couple of other venues, but I’m getting my act together and taking it on the road.

So This Happened…

June 21, 2014, Long Beach Public Library saw a gathering of writers and readers (including the writers reading their stuff OUT LOUD. Gulp)

And since my motto lately is “Do what you can with what you have,” until I figure out how to pry photos from my ailing computer (Really, Mario, your timing sucks), WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get).

As  far as sales, I sold 4 books, which is a new personal best for a signing event (including the solos at the Green Door Gallerie – NOW CLOSED).

We were required to donate a copy of our books to the library’s collection, which I did happily.  I like the idea of people discovering Liz and Ty (and Millie, Joey, Angie, and Beanie) through the library.

We also had to read excerpts from our books. I was in one of the first panels with Kimi Flores  of “It All Started With a Lima Bean”

Also my tablemate. Nobody elbowed anybody else.

 Lorenz Font (Tormented), and Jessica Gibson (The Harder I Fall). Did I get pictures? I don’t know – the computer won’t share. The ones above? Thank God for smartphones (also useful for taking payments)

We had a good time, about 20 authors, including Wade Lefevre (whose “Snipe Hunt” is gripping and scary), and 80 some readers.

You get to feel like a real rock start at these things: you’re signing copies of books, people want you to autograph Kindle covers, and pose for a photo with you (incentive to get some Nerium from a friend of mine and drop some gross tonnage).

As always, I had my trusty assistant/sidekick, Sandy Esparza, with me. No, I didn’t get any good pictures. Selfies are not my thing.

I’ll work on it. Or make Sandy do it.

So,  emboldened, I have signed up for other signings. In other parts of the country. Definitely in Austin, come Feb 7, for Deep In the Heart, and Wilmington, NC October 24, 2015 for Life’s a Beach. Sadly nowhere near the Sanitary Fish Market (What? Okay, I’m allergic to fish, but they turn out mean hush puppies and chicken).

I’ll keep you posted.

Reading By The Sea Part Deux

Hey! You in the Los Angeles/Orange County (and Ventura and San Diego if you get ambitious) area with nothing to do Saturday June 21 (it’s a specific demographic).

You like books, right? Sure you do or you wouldn’t be reading this blog.

Come to Reading By the Beach

101 Pacific Ave

Long Beach, CA

11 AM – 4:30 PM

Authors! Swag!

This is swag. It’s mugs (two of them sold already) and bookmarks. We’ve got bracelets, too. And a couple of raffles.

And there are other authors and we’re going to have to get up and READ from our books and answer questions…

Bracelets

I’ll sign copies…I’ll pose for pictures…

COME ON DOWN!!!

Reading By The Sea

For the 4 or 5 of you who actually read this blog…

 

Saturday, June 21, 2014 AD (or CE) from 11:00 AM to 4:30 PM, I will be at the Long Beach Public Library (101 Pacific Ave, Long Beach, CA, for your GPS), selling and signing copies of “These Foolish Things” and “At Last” (In gold Sharpie. Ooooooo).

 

As you can see, there will be a lot of us (not all of it romance novels, Guys), and we will have to get up and talk in panels (Reading excerpts. No big deal).

Come on out. It’ll be fun.

I will give away a signed set of books and have a raffle for a gift bag for anyone who buys a set of books (Coffee mug, bookmark, Dunkin Donuts coffee, for sitting back and reading). There will be the usual books and bracelets and NEW THIS TIME….Minibook bookmarks by Isabella Rae. I can’t wait to get them.

Come on down!

Map of 101 Pacific Ave, Long Beach, CA

Reading on the Beach

For the 4 or 5 of you who actually read this blog…

 

Saturday, June 21, 2014 AD (or CE) from 11:00 AM to 4:30 PM, I will be at the Long Beach Public Library (101 Pacific Ave, Long Beach, CA, for your GPS), selling and signing copies of “These Foolish Things” and “At Last” (In gold Sharpie. Ooooooo).

 

As you can see, there will be a lot of us (not all of it romance novels, Guys), and we will have to get up and talk in panels (Reading excerpts. No big deal).

Come on out. It’ll be fun.

I will give away a signed set of books and have a raffle for a gift bag for anyone who buys a set of books (Coffee mug, bookmark, Dunkin Donuts coffee, for sitting back and reading). There will be the usual books and bracelets and NEW THIS TIME….Minibook bookmarks by Isabella Rae. I can’t wait to get them.

Come on down!

Map of 101 Pacific Ave, Long Beach, CA

In the Beginning…

Okay, that’s a bit grandiose, but I’ll stick with it.

By the way, this is the first post I will write completely on an iPad. I am not a Luddite

(go look it up. If you attended Franklin Pierce Law Center aka Frank’s, Buzz Scher would apply this term to Jim Duggan. Of course, Buzz also called me a bastard in our Trial class because I’d convinced Yvonne Imbert to go along with a couple of pranks during our presentation to make him laugh for the first time after a couple of terrible weeks),  I just presently don’t have the budget to indulge my taste in electronics with bells and whistles.  I blame some of you guys because if my stories were selling as they deserve to, I could. Go talk people into buying my books. Now. Go do it and then come back.

The picture shown above (and by the way, Luddite or not, I am not finding this iPad to be as easy to use for this as Mario, my laptop. What? You don’t name your important stuff? Weirdo) is the original document form of “These Foolish Things.” Really. El Cheapo composition book from CVS bought on he way out of Boston for a 70 mile bus ride to Concord, NH. This was December 2000, ski season, so the 70 miles would take 2 and a half hours on a Friday night. Fun.

Anyway, I had been thinking of an idea for a love story that was the opposite of a straight up courtship story. You know, they meet, they figure out they love each other, “happily ever after.” What about the other end of it? (You’ve heard this)

So, I got the book and pens and just started to write. The following pictures (if i can get the iPad to cooperate) show the process of “I like it. Eh, maybe I don’t like it. Screw it. What was I thinking? It’s gone.”

Technology is good, but sometimes there is no better connection than the mind/hand to keep the creative process flowing.

Maybe, one day this composition book would be valuable to academics, a relic of the time before word processors and crashing hard drives (Mario, don’t even think about it). Not Shakespeare folio valuable, but certainly worth more than say, Justin Bieber’s diary. Or Kim Kardashian’s next sex tape (oh, you know there’s going to be another one that’ll be released mid-divorce).

Things to Ponder

Within the space of two weeks, women, average women (average looking) have been given two news items to think about in the mixed message department of sexual politics.

Timewise, we first have the “Louie” episode, “So Did the Fat Lady.” The gist of it is that Louie is pining after the attractive waitresses at his nightclub and ignoring the energetic, smart fat girl. Here’s the clip (warning: raw language)

 

“So Did the Fat Lady” clip

 This is nothing new. George Costanza on “Seinfeld” was a short, pudgy, balding, largely underemployed whiny schmendrick who didn’t see why he couldn’t date models.  And that episode wasn’t the first time this dynamic was explored on a TV show. I auditioned for a “George Lopez” where his ugly little friend made a blind date and she rejected him in the bar even after he makes a “why not me” speech. I was given the audition because I had (and have) a big, unattractive body (eyes to die for and that limits me in roles because I’m not ugly enough. I’m stuck with writing) and it would be really funny for an unattractive woman to dump the unattractive guy, even though he tells her the choice is either him or nothing. Who could resist?

This is me. I was never one of the attractive, desirable girls. I look at pictures and think I looked okay (my weight was a lot lower in my 20s. Been a big issue – see what I did there? – ever since. Even when I took off 75 lbs. 3 years ago, no one showed interest). I’m 53. I can count on both hands the number of dates I’ve had and still have unused fingers.  Plenty of male friends, but… I remember some friends in my law school class approaching one of my male classmates on my behalf. Understand, this gentleman was over 250 lbs. himself. His response? “One of us in this relationship needs to be thin.”

Yeah.

I’m smart, funny, I can cook, earn my own keep, clean house (I can. Not saying I always do), talk baseball, politics, culture. But I’m too  (fill in the blank) or not enough (fill in another blank). It’s Mad Libs, the Dating Edition.

Of course, unwanted women are fodder for jokes. Back to the TV sitcoms, after the rejection comes the ice cream binges or adopting a bunch of cats or an awkward attempt at lesbianism.

This is one of the reasons I created Liz Gardner and Ty Hadley of “These Foolish Things.” I wanted to show one of these super alpha stud males (an alcoholic one) finding value in someone who wasn’t arm candy and/or just a goldigger. She doesn’t need him for support or social standing. He doesn’t need her to prove his status. Ty and Liz end up together because they discover they really dig each other.

The other watershed incident is Elliott Rodger and his rampage at at UC Santa Barbara. This was a guy in the “Louie” mode who got turned down by the alpha females.  I’m not including any pictures because he doesn’t deserve that much attention.

Instead of eating his feelings or getting a pet, he stabbed his roommates, got in his car and went looking for women to shoot. I started to read his 141 page tirade online and gave up. He takes NO responsibility for his life.

A friend has a daughter in her early 20s who is an attractive young woman. She is subject to a lot of unwanted attention including a strange man on the city bus playing with her hair and saying, “You’re so pretty, I just couldn’t resist” to excuse his behavior (Her mom bought her a bejeweled pepper spray dispenser).

This is the mindset behind burkas, behind blaming rape victims, behind fighting reform of handling sexual assault cases in the military. It’s why in 2012, we had a number of political candidates making stupid, stupid comments about rape like “the female body has a way of shutting that down” (Yeah, Todd Akin. You’re a douche) in order to deny women the right to control their bodies.

“We can’t be bothered to control ourselves, Ladies, so we’re leaving that responsibility up to you. Yep.” (With a big, dopey smile and some furtive “pocket pool.”)

There have been cases of fashion models in New York City disfigured by men who’d been turned down for dates (acid or knives to the face). Someone close to me revealed that she’d lost her virginity in college to date rape. And she has always been one of the alpha girls with the carefully turned-out appearance, big charming smile, flirty demeanor. This is scary shit

So, it’s acceptable for the not-so-good-looking guys to turn down the less-than-10 girls, but if THEY get turned down, it’s a denial of a right? Fuck that.

First of all: Ladies, if you want better men, START RAISING THEM. Teach your sons, your nephews, your brothers what it means to respect a woman. Trust me, they will not learn this shit from their stupid little friends and depending on the adult men in your life, maybe not from the role models around them. Try giving them a beautifully-wrapped box full of excrement to learn that the exterior doesn’t always indicate what’s inside and maybe that girl who’s a good friend may turn out to be something more and something special.

Secondly: VOTE. We. Women,  are the MAJORITY in the US. It is goddamn time we elected representatives to our state legislatures and and Federal government who actually fucking represented OUR interests and not those of Super PACs, the “Christian Right,” or those people who want to push the nation’s power dynamic back to the 1950s when white men were the undisputed kings. That needs to be stopped.

 

 

 

Gemini Blog Post: Two Items Rolled Into One

2014 has been the year of chaos reigning* so far. Things have stabilized on the personal front (No, I’m not going into details, but the wild horses have been reined in** and the wagon is headed in the right direction. For those who have grumbled at me about not publishing anything recently; Look, survival mode takes a lot of attention and resources. Writing fiction isn’t high on the priority list when you don’t know where you’re going to live, whether you have enough gas in your car to get to work, or how you’re going to stretch that $5 in your pocket for food until payday at the end of the week. Hawthorne may have been filed from his job as a customs clerk (He sucked. So does “The Scarlet Letter.” I read that thing 3 times, once voluntarily and twice as part of literature courses), but he had a wife. I’m a solo act. If I don’t do it, it doesn’t get done. I digress.

*This is the correct usage for “reigning.” With a “g”, it refers to ruling. Most people mistakenly (and stubbornly) insist on using it as “reigning in,” which should properly be spelled** r-e-i-n-i-n-g, as the term refers to controlling a horse. Should you be close enough to such people, please explain the difference, then beat the ever-lovin’ stuffin’ out of them for not having mastered 5th grade level vocabulary).

Mark your calendars: June 21, 2014 from 12 PM (High Noon) to 5 PM  at 100 Pacific Ave, Long Beach, CA, I will be selling and signing books at  Reading By the Sea along with the other authors listed. I met some of these great folks at Authors Under the Lights in March and I’m looking forward to seeing their happy little faces again. I will have a game going to win a set of signed books (Mine) and if you buy a set of signed books, you’ll be entered to win a raffle (as well as the raffles they’ll have). We’re not talking Publisher’s Clearing House here, but it’ll be cute.  You get stuff. Stuff related to MY books.

Go Fund Me!

(Well, that didn’t turn out as snazzily as I had hoped)

Since I have not had a great paying job since October (thus the survival mode) and I need promotional materials for the above mentioned Reading By the Sea event…that’s given me some gray hairs (which should delight my sisters. They’ve been waiting for almost 25 years now). If you click on the link, it’ll take you to a page that shows you what I want for this endeavor and how much the various items cost. I’m over halfway to my goal of $300 and I have an offer for super donors: $100 gets a minor character named after you or given the (reasonable) name of your choice in my current Work in Progress “The Baldie Chronicles.” (Prequel to “These Foolish Things”) The character will either be a group therapy participant or an oncological nurse (male or female), but will have a couple of lines (No, you don’t get to write those). So, click the link and GO FUND ME.

Back in 2011, I was going to the gym 6 days a week (3 days of weight lifting, 2 yoga classes, a Pilates class, and 5-6 days of cardio). I haven’t been in a while (try since October when the good-paying job went bye-bye, probably to Bangalore), so it would be foolish for me to walk in and just try to pick up where I left off. A walk around the block is a good place to restart.  Same thing with writing; if you’ve fallen out of the habit and rhythm of daily writing (something other than email or Facebook), it’s foolish to think you can just dive back in and pick it up again where you left off. But, I’m getting there.

I will get caught up on blogging, writing, etc. I will get back to talking about things like the “Louie” episode on fat women dating, gratitude and manifesting things in life, that kind of stuff. Right now, though, I just needed to “go for a walk around the block.”

Oh, and on a final note, let me leave you with this review:

“

May 16, 2014Sue1958 rated it 4 of 5 stars
Let me start by saying, I read a LOT of books, so you can imagine how you can get a lot of the ‘sameness’ throughout certain genres right?

I love a good romance sometimes to break up the books I read, ones that I don’t have to put my mind set in gear and just read with my eyes and enjoy.

So I picked up this one!

I was hoping it wasn’t going to be [what I call] a soppy romance. It wasn’t.

I hoped that it had some ups and downs in it [and not just in the bedroom!] It didn’t.

I hoped that there was going to be a storyline to it unlike some romances that can get quite irritating at times [if you know what I mean] It didn’t.

I really hoped this was not going to be the “perfect Alpha Male” type read that is all so popular at the moment. It wasn’t!

This couple were flawed, they were imperfect, it was GREAT. There were all kinds of emotions in this book. I really liked it, yes it was a romance, but a lovely romance.”

A lovely romance…