Penelope Douglas's Blog, page 9
October 2, 2014
Happy 20th Jared Trent!!
Jared's birthday is today. Be sure to head over to my author page for a special Jared Trent gift set!
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https://www.facebook.com/PenelopeDoug...
September 26, 2014
Bully and Until You Paperbacks Are Coming!!
Yay!!
The publisher will be printing Bully and Until You in paperback next year. While the UK versions will be available this November, if you're in the US, I urge you to wait for our versions. There may be an added incentive. Maybe. I will keep you posted.
No definite date yet on publication, but they are coming. :D
The publisher will be printing Bully and Until You in paperback next year. While the UK versions will be available this November, if you're in the US, I urge you to wait for our versions. There may be an added incentive. Maybe. I will keep you posted.
No definite date yet on publication, but they are coming. :D
September 24, 2014
September 19, 2014
Bonus Madoc and Fallon Scene--the Morning After
Bonus Madoc and Fallon Scene---the morning after
This is not a deleted scene. It was written as a gift to the readers.
Enjoy!!
Grabbing the sheet at the back of my waist, I pull it over our heads, seeing the soft light of the moon slowing fade from her face as I look down at her. She's so beautiful.
“What are you doing?” she asks, worry thick in her shaky voice.
“Making it so you only see me.”
Before she has a chance to talk, I melt my body into hers and cover her lips with mine. She groans and tightens her thighs around my waist, and I breathe her in, taking in her scent and taste. We’re still in our jeans, but I don’t care how far this goes as long as she doesn’t pull the plug on what’s happening right now. Even if this is as far as it goes tonight.
It’s crazy, and I can’t believe this is happening, but what’s more? I can’t believe it feels this good. Fallon’s looking at me differently, and I like it.
She kept glancing around, her worried eyes and shallow breaths probably filled with a thousand different voices telling her that what we were doing was wrong, but it wasn’t. It didn’t feel wrong.
So that’s when I pulled the sheet over us.
We aren’t in her bedroom. My room is not across the hall. Our fucking parents’ bedroom isn’t six doors down, and we’re just getting to know each other for the first time. Without their bullshit. Her and me. Fallon and Madoc. No one else.
I touch my forehead to hers and hold her face, running my thumb over her lip ring.
Her chest rises and falls hard. “Madoc,” she gasps. “I—”
“Shhh.” I lift my head up and support myself on one arm. “Look at me, okay?”
Her troubled eyes hold mine, and her hands grasp my waist.
“This feels right, doesn’t it?” I ask, trying to calm her as I run the back of my fingers up her bare stomach. “This is okay?”
Her body shakes under my hand, and I reach down and slide my palm under her ass, holding her tight. “Don’t stop this,” I whisper, bringing my forehead back down to hers. “You started it. Please don’t stop now.”
“I…” She swallows. “Madoc, I…I’m scared.”
I smile to myself. “So am I,” I admit. “But I don’t want to be anywhere else right now.”
I plant both arms on the pillow above her head and sink my lips into hers, holding her body close and feeling every inch of her heat. Her lips move with mine, kissing me back, and while I know that we have so much to be scared of, I don’t care. This is what I want. For the first time, it feels right.
“I don’t want to be anywhere else, Fallon,” I tell her again, lightly grinding between her legs.
She moans, her eyes fluttering closed. “Me neither,” she whispers.
***
I wrapped the towel around my waist and walked to the bathroom mirror, wiping away the steam. Nerves knotted in my stomach, and I tried to ignore the sound of doors opening and closing in the house.
Our parents were up.
I’d left Fallon last night after she’d fallen asleep, and I felt like shit now. I didn’t know if I was supposed to stay, and I didn’t want her waking up alone after what we’d done last night, but I was afraid to fall asleep in case Addie walked in.
So I came back to my room and laid awake all night when I really just wanted to go back to her bed.
But I couldn’t.
We couldn’t ever do that again. Our parents would never allow it, and just because she tolerated me last night didn’t mean she’d turned soft on me.
And we’d done it without a fucking condom, too. We might’ve been virgins, but we weren’t stupid. What were we thinking?
I popped a couple Advil for my cheap beer induced headache and walked back into my room, throwing on some fresh clothes. It was Friday, and we had school in an hour.
“Hey, man.”
I jerked around, seeing Jared step through the doorway and looking like he needed about twenty-four hours of solid sleep and a shower. Not in that order. He must’ve crashed here after the party last night.
He strolled toward my closet. “Can I borrow some clothes?”
“Yeah, help yourself.” I pulled on a gray V-neck T-shirt and slid my wallet in my jean’s pocket. “You feeling up to school?” I asked, seeing his shaky steps. He looked like he might still be drunk.
“Better than being home,” he mumbled, disappearing into the walk-in closet.
I fastened my watch and walked to the bathroom, gelling and spraying my hair. I was tempted to leave it without any product, because Fallon always said my head looked like a stuffed peacock. Or a duck’s ass. Or man-bangs pointing north.
My chest shook with laughter, and I shook my head. She was clearly as sweet as pie. How did I not see it?
“So what happened to you last night?” Jared called.
I clenched my teeth, my brain suddenly blank as I walked back into the bedroom, grabbing shoes and socks.
Madoc…is the door locked? Oh, God. Don't stop.
I swallowed. “Uh, nothing. I just got tired. Went to bed. That’s all.”
I could feel his eyes on me as he plucked one of my hoodies off the hook.
But then I heard a door open, and I shot my head up, my heart dropping into my stomach, seeing Fallon emerge from her bedroom. She stopped, and I held her eyes, masked by her glasses, and I instantly tensed.
The light of day hadn’t changed anything. Nor had sobering up. I wanted her again.
She dropped her eyes, folded her arms across her chest and hurried to the bathroom, away from me.
Jesus. My forehead cooled with sweat, and it was a minute before I realized Jared was still standing there, staring at me.
Then he looked back at the hallway and back at me, suspicion written all over his eyes. “She was wearing the Bears T-shirt you were wearing last night,” he pointed out.
Fuuuuuuck....
Dammit! I’d put her in the shirt before she’d fallen asleep and didn’t even notice. Shit!
“Went to bed, huh?” he teased, slipping on the hoodie. “Okay, whatever. I’ll see you at school.”
He walked for the door, but I cleared my throat, stopping him.
“We need to deal with Dietrich,” I told him, changing the subject.
He turned, narrowing his eyes. “Why?”
“He was in Fallon’s space last night. Not taking no for an answer,” I explained. “And he’s sniffing around Tate, too. As much you don’t like her, I know you hate that.”
He closed his eyes, ran his hand through his hair, and let out a bitter laugh.
“Yeah, well, we’re rid of Tate, Madoc. Didn’t you hear?” he taunted. “She’s off to Europe for her junior year, so in a few months, she’ll be gone.”
He said it was if it had been the goal all along, but I caught the look on his face. The one that said he was about to be a very unhappy guy. And Jared unhappy was no joke.
I watched him walk out, and I let out a sigh. “Shit.”
Grabbing my cell and my keys, I made my way downstairs, ignoring the sound of the shower as I passed by the bathroom. I should talk to her. I needed to know what’s going on in her head. I wanted to know that she was alright.
But I didn’t stop. Walking into the kitchen, my heart jackhammering in my ears, I headed for the ‘frig and grabbed a Gatorade.
The parents sat at the breakfast nook area, my father buried behind his morning paper, and Fallon’s mom, Patricia, digging into her half a grapefruit and dressed in workout clothes. Pretty much her uniform while she was at home.
She plopped her spoon down, bringing a cup of coffee to her lips. “Well, I don’t see what phone call was so important that you had to miss nearly half of the performance last night,” she snipped at my father. “You left me sitting alone, Jason. For an hour.”
He let out an aggravated breath and folded his paper. “I’m sorry,” I heard him say as I busied myself making a bowl of cereal. “I’ll make it up to you,” he promised and then called out. “Morning, how was your party?” he asked me, probably to get Patricia to shut up.
I looked up, arching a stubborn eyebrow. My father used me to distract Patricia’s attention, so I ignored him.
I turned around, put the milk away, and heard Fallon’s mom behind me.
“They got into your liquor again,” she told my father.
I almost laughed. She spent my inheritance on fucking hand bags, and she thought my father would care about a little lost liquor?
“They were home,” he appeased, “not driving, and Addie was here. Madoc has my trust until he doesn’t anymore.”
I stood at the island, letting them go back and forth and feeling the chill between them grow colder by the day. And then needles sprang up under my skin, and I was hot.
Fallon walked into the kitchen breezing behind me, and I damn near choked, because I swallowed a mouthful of cereal without chewing it.
Son of a bitch.
Her hair still wet from the shower, and she set her backpack down on the stool at the island as she grabbed something out of the pantry.
The hair on my neck stood up, and I watched as she came out and stood at the island a few feet away from me, her eyes glued to the task of unwrapping her breakfast bar.
“Well, I don’t like all of those boys hanging around here,” Patricia snapped. “Around Fallon. It’s not safe.”
I saw Fallon blink and almost look up, but then she didn’t. Why wasn’t she looking at me? A thousand different fears ran through my head. Was she mad? Was she scared?
Or worse. Was she sorry?
I set my bowl down, stepping up next to her and needing her to look at me. Her back stiffened, but I pushed into her space, my arm brushing hers. She looked different today. She still wore the same clothes, little to no makeup, and I couldn’t figure out what it was, but she was different.
Everything was different today.
My father’s voice broke through. “Madoc won’t let any of his friends near her,” he told Patricia. “Right?”
Without even looking up, I knew he was directing the last part to me.
I looked at him, but I snuck my hand behind Fallon, brushing it over her waist. “No one gets near Fallon but me.” I smiled.
I heard her suck in a breath, and I slipped my hand under her shirt, grazing my fingers across the soft skin of her back.
My father stood up. “Well, I’ve got to hit the road,” he said throwing down his napkin.
Fallon looked up, meeting my eyes, and she looked so nervous that I just wanted to pull the sheet over us again.
“I’m going to have to crash in the city tonight,” I heard my dad say as Fallon and I stared at each other. “I have to be in meetings early tomorrow—”
“Well, what am I supposed to do?”
Patricia argued, following him out of the kitchen, both of them disappearing.
Fallon shook her head. “Madoc,” she warned, but I couldn’t take it anymore.
Grabbing her hand, I pulled her to the basement door, swung us both inside, and slammed it shut.
Spinning her around, I wrapped an arm around her stomach, bringing her back into my chest, and buried my lips in her neck.
“Madoc, stop it! Our par—” And I snatched up her lips, tilting her chin and meeting her with a raging hard on already in my pants.
Just remember, Fallon. I needed to know that she liked it. That it was real, what happened between us last night.
My hand scaled up and down her body, feeling the thighs that couldn’t get enough of me only six hours ago.
My hand slid between her legs, over her jeans, and she moaned, pressing herself into me.
Yeah, it was real.
“Madoc, stop,” she begged, but she wasn’t pulling away.
“I want more.” I pressed my hand harder between her legs. “Do you still feel me?” I whispered. “I was there, Fallon, and you can’t change that. I was there.” I stroked her, and even though she groaned, she pushed me away.
“Stop.” She spun around and held her hands against my chest. “We’re going to get caught, Madoc. We can’t do this.”
“Fuck them,” I growled. “We hate them, and we let it stand between us. Last night was the first time you ever really saw me, and the first time I took you in. I want to feel it again,” I admitted, my mouth gone dry. She was like a drug, and I wanted to go deeper. I wanted more time with her when she wasn’t mad at me and I wasn’t mad at her.
“Stay with me today,” I pressed.
“What do you mean?”
“Screw school,” I shot out. “Stay with me. Let’s get in my car and just drive or…” I cupped her face, whispering, “or get lost in one of the spare bedrooms upstairs where Addie will never find us. I don’t care. Just so I can touch you any time I want.”
I dove in, kissing her and eating up her whimper. I trailed kisses down her neck as she invited me in.
“What do you like about me?” she asked softly, and I stopped.
Lifting my head up, I saw her staring down the staircase to where my old piano sat. I didn’t know how to answer the question. I guess I barely knew her. But I liked her.
Shit. Yeah, that didn’t make sense.
She turned and looked at me. “Why don’t you want to go to school?” she asked. “Because you can’t acknowledge me there?”
I shook my head.
I wasn’t embarrassed by her, and as much as we didn’t feel like family, she was still my fucking stepsister. Of course I couldn’t touch her at school.
“I’m like the piano,” she pointed out, gesturing down the stairs. “Best hidden, right?”
“It’s not like that,” I countered. “It was you and me last night. Just you and me. Just us, and it felt fucking great. Don’t over analyze it.”
She turned away, fear written all over her face as she shot through the door back out to the kitchen. Addie was loading the dishwasher, and probably just assumed we’d been doing something innocent in the basement.
Fallon picked up her backpack. “Addie, I’m ready for school,” she rushed to say, slipping the bag on her back.
But I stepped in.
“I’ll take her,” I said, seeing Addie’s surprised expression.
I’d never driven Fallon to school, but I damn well wanted to today.
“Really?” Addie asked, looking delighted.
“No,” Fallon shot out, scowling at me. “I want Addie to take me. As usual. I don’t like the way you drive,” she said, clutching her backpack straps.
“He wants to take you to school,” Addie urged. “Let him.”
“No.” She started to walk out of the kitchen. “I’ll be in the car, Addie.”
Addie dried off her hands, and I clenched my fists. If I argued more, it would look suspicious, but I couldn’t let this go.
I’d try to give her a few days to calm down, but I wanted her in my hands again.
Addie walked up to me, patting me on the chest. “Well, thank you for the offer to drive her, Madoc. It’s nice to see you finally acting like a good brother.”
I dropped my head back and let out a sigh.
And that was one way to kill a hard on.
This is not a deleted scene. It was written as a gift to the readers.
Enjoy!!
Grabbing the sheet at the back of my waist, I pull it over our heads, seeing the soft light of the moon slowing fade from her face as I look down at her. She's so beautiful.
“What are you doing?” she asks, worry thick in her shaky voice.
“Making it so you only see me.”
Before she has a chance to talk, I melt my body into hers and cover her lips with mine. She groans and tightens her thighs around my waist, and I breathe her in, taking in her scent and taste. We’re still in our jeans, but I don’t care how far this goes as long as she doesn’t pull the plug on what’s happening right now. Even if this is as far as it goes tonight.
It’s crazy, and I can’t believe this is happening, but what’s more? I can’t believe it feels this good. Fallon’s looking at me differently, and I like it.
She kept glancing around, her worried eyes and shallow breaths probably filled with a thousand different voices telling her that what we were doing was wrong, but it wasn’t. It didn’t feel wrong.
So that’s when I pulled the sheet over us.
We aren’t in her bedroom. My room is not across the hall. Our fucking parents’ bedroom isn’t six doors down, and we’re just getting to know each other for the first time. Without their bullshit. Her and me. Fallon and Madoc. No one else.
I touch my forehead to hers and hold her face, running my thumb over her lip ring.
Her chest rises and falls hard. “Madoc,” she gasps. “I—”
“Shhh.” I lift my head up and support myself on one arm. “Look at me, okay?”
Her troubled eyes hold mine, and her hands grasp my waist.
“This feels right, doesn’t it?” I ask, trying to calm her as I run the back of my fingers up her bare stomach. “This is okay?”
Her body shakes under my hand, and I reach down and slide my palm under her ass, holding her tight. “Don’t stop this,” I whisper, bringing my forehead back down to hers. “You started it. Please don’t stop now.”
“I…” She swallows. “Madoc, I…I’m scared.”
I smile to myself. “So am I,” I admit. “But I don’t want to be anywhere else right now.”
I plant both arms on the pillow above her head and sink my lips into hers, holding her body close and feeling every inch of her heat. Her lips move with mine, kissing me back, and while I know that we have so much to be scared of, I don’t care. This is what I want. For the first time, it feels right.
“I don’t want to be anywhere else, Fallon,” I tell her again, lightly grinding between her legs.
She moans, her eyes fluttering closed. “Me neither,” she whispers.
***
I wrapped the towel around my waist and walked to the bathroom mirror, wiping away the steam. Nerves knotted in my stomach, and I tried to ignore the sound of doors opening and closing in the house.
Our parents were up.
I’d left Fallon last night after she’d fallen asleep, and I felt like shit now. I didn’t know if I was supposed to stay, and I didn’t want her waking up alone after what we’d done last night, but I was afraid to fall asleep in case Addie walked in.
So I came back to my room and laid awake all night when I really just wanted to go back to her bed.
But I couldn’t.
We couldn’t ever do that again. Our parents would never allow it, and just because she tolerated me last night didn’t mean she’d turned soft on me.
And we’d done it without a fucking condom, too. We might’ve been virgins, but we weren’t stupid. What were we thinking?
I popped a couple Advil for my cheap beer induced headache and walked back into my room, throwing on some fresh clothes. It was Friday, and we had school in an hour.
“Hey, man.”
I jerked around, seeing Jared step through the doorway and looking like he needed about twenty-four hours of solid sleep and a shower. Not in that order. He must’ve crashed here after the party last night.
He strolled toward my closet. “Can I borrow some clothes?”
“Yeah, help yourself.” I pulled on a gray V-neck T-shirt and slid my wallet in my jean’s pocket. “You feeling up to school?” I asked, seeing his shaky steps. He looked like he might still be drunk.
“Better than being home,” he mumbled, disappearing into the walk-in closet.
I fastened my watch and walked to the bathroom, gelling and spraying my hair. I was tempted to leave it without any product, because Fallon always said my head looked like a stuffed peacock. Or a duck’s ass. Or man-bangs pointing north.
My chest shook with laughter, and I shook my head. She was clearly as sweet as pie. How did I not see it?
“So what happened to you last night?” Jared called.
I clenched my teeth, my brain suddenly blank as I walked back into the bedroom, grabbing shoes and socks.
Madoc…is the door locked? Oh, God. Don't stop.
I swallowed. “Uh, nothing. I just got tired. Went to bed. That’s all.”
I could feel his eyes on me as he plucked one of my hoodies off the hook.
But then I heard a door open, and I shot my head up, my heart dropping into my stomach, seeing Fallon emerge from her bedroom. She stopped, and I held her eyes, masked by her glasses, and I instantly tensed.
The light of day hadn’t changed anything. Nor had sobering up. I wanted her again.
She dropped her eyes, folded her arms across her chest and hurried to the bathroom, away from me.
Jesus. My forehead cooled with sweat, and it was a minute before I realized Jared was still standing there, staring at me.
Then he looked back at the hallway and back at me, suspicion written all over his eyes. “She was wearing the Bears T-shirt you were wearing last night,” he pointed out.
Fuuuuuuck....
Dammit! I’d put her in the shirt before she’d fallen asleep and didn’t even notice. Shit!
“Went to bed, huh?” he teased, slipping on the hoodie. “Okay, whatever. I’ll see you at school.”
He walked for the door, but I cleared my throat, stopping him.
“We need to deal with Dietrich,” I told him, changing the subject.
He turned, narrowing his eyes. “Why?”
“He was in Fallon’s space last night. Not taking no for an answer,” I explained. “And he’s sniffing around Tate, too. As much you don’t like her, I know you hate that.”
He closed his eyes, ran his hand through his hair, and let out a bitter laugh.
“Yeah, well, we’re rid of Tate, Madoc. Didn’t you hear?” he taunted. “She’s off to Europe for her junior year, so in a few months, she’ll be gone.”
He said it was if it had been the goal all along, but I caught the look on his face. The one that said he was about to be a very unhappy guy. And Jared unhappy was no joke.
I watched him walk out, and I let out a sigh. “Shit.”
Grabbing my cell and my keys, I made my way downstairs, ignoring the sound of the shower as I passed by the bathroom. I should talk to her. I needed to know what’s going on in her head. I wanted to know that she was alright.
But I didn’t stop. Walking into the kitchen, my heart jackhammering in my ears, I headed for the ‘frig and grabbed a Gatorade.
The parents sat at the breakfast nook area, my father buried behind his morning paper, and Fallon’s mom, Patricia, digging into her half a grapefruit and dressed in workout clothes. Pretty much her uniform while she was at home.
She plopped her spoon down, bringing a cup of coffee to her lips. “Well, I don’t see what phone call was so important that you had to miss nearly half of the performance last night,” she snipped at my father. “You left me sitting alone, Jason. For an hour.”
He let out an aggravated breath and folded his paper. “I’m sorry,” I heard him say as I busied myself making a bowl of cereal. “I’ll make it up to you,” he promised and then called out. “Morning, how was your party?” he asked me, probably to get Patricia to shut up.
I looked up, arching a stubborn eyebrow. My father used me to distract Patricia’s attention, so I ignored him.
I turned around, put the milk away, and heard Fallon’s mom behind me.
“They got into your liquor again,” she told my father.
I almost laughed. She spent my inheritance on fucking hand bags, and she thought my father would care about a little lost liquor?
“They were home,” he appeased, “not driving, and Addie was here. Madoc has my trust until he doesn’t anymore.”
I stood at the island, letting them go back and forth and feeling the chill between them grow colder by the day. And then needles sprang up under my skin, and I was hot.
Fallon walked into the kitchen breezing behind me, and I damn near choked, because I swallowed a mouthful of cereal without chewing it.
Son of a bitch.
Her hair still wet from the shower, and she set her backpack down on the stool at the island as she grabbed something out of the pantry.
The hair on my neck stood up, and I watched as she came out and stood at the island a few feet away from me, her eyes glued to the task of unwrapping her breakfast bar.
“Well, I don’t like all of those boys hanging around here,” Patricia snapped. “Around Fallon. It’s not safe.”
I saw Fallon blink and almost look up, but then she didn’t. Why wasn’t she looking at me? A thousand different fears ran through my head. Was she mad? Was she scared?
Or worse. Was she sorry?
I set my bowl down, stepping up next to her and needing her to look at me. Her back stiffened, but I pushed into her space, my arm brushing hers. She looked different today. She still wore the same clothes, little to no makeup, and I couldn’t figure out what it was, but she was different.
Everything was different today.
My father’s voice broke through. “Madoc won’t let any of his friends near her,” he told Patricia. “Right?”
Without even looking up, I knew he was directing the last part to me.
I looked at him, but I snuck my hand behind Fallon, brushing it over her waist. “No one gets near Fallon but me.” I smiled.
I heard her suck in a breath, and I slipped my hand under her shirt, grazing my fingers across the soft skin of her back.
My father stood up. “Well, I’ve got to hit the road,” he said throwing down his napkin.
Fallon looked up, meeting my eyes, and she looked so nervous that I just wanted to pull the sheet over us again.
“I’m going to have to crash in the city tonight,” I heard my dad say as Fallon and I stared at each other. “I have to be in meetings early tomorrow—”
“Well, what am I supposed to do?”
Patricia argued, following him out of the kitchen, both of them disappearing.
Fallon shook her head. “Madoc,” she warned, but I couldn’t take it anymore.
Grabbing her hand, I pulled her to the basement door, swung us both inside, and slammed it shut.
Spinning her around, I wrapped an arm around her stomach, bringing her back into my chest, and buried my lips in her neck.
“Madoc, stop it! Our par—” And I snatched up her lips, tilting her chin and meeting her with a raging hard on already in my pants.
Just remember, Fallon. I needed to know that she liked it. That it was real, what happened between us last night.
My hand scaled up and down her body, feeling the thighs that couldn’t get enough of me only six hours ago.
My hand slid between her legs, over her jeans, and she moaned, pressing herself into me.
Yeah, it was real.
“Madoc, stop,” she begged, but she wasn’t pulling away.
“I want more.” I pressed my hand harder between her legs. “Do you still feel me?” I whispered. “I was there, Fallon, and you can’t change that. I was there.” I stroked her, and even though she groaned, she pushed me away.
“Stop.” She spun around and held her hands against my chest. “We’re going to get caught, Madoc. We can’t do this.”
“Fuck them,” I growled. “We hate them, and we let it stand between us. Last night was the first time you ever really saw me, and the first time I took you in. I want to feel it again,” I admitted, my mouth gone dry. She was like a drug, and I wanted to go deeper. I wanted more time with her when she wasn’t mad at me and I wasn’t mad at her.
“Stay with me today,” I pressed.
“What do you mean?”
“Screw school,” I shot out. “Stay with me. Let’s get in my car and just drive or…” I cupped her face, whispering, “or get lost in one of the spare bedrooms upstairs where Addie will never find us. I don’t care. Just so I can touch you any time I want.”
I dove in, kissing her and eating up her whimper. I trailed kisses down her neck as she invited me in.
“What do you like about me?” she asked softly, and I stopped.
Lifting my head up, I saw her staring down the staircase to where my old piano sat. I didn’t know how to answer the question. I guess I barely knew her. But I liked her.
Shit. Yeah, that didn’t make sense.
She turned and looked at me. “Why don’t you want to go to school?” she asked. “Because you can’t acknowledge me there?”
I shook my head.
I wasn’t embarrassed by her, and as much as we didn’t feel like family, she was still my fucking stepsister. Of course I couldn’t touch her at school.
“I’m like the piano,” she pointed out, gesturing down the stairs. “Best hidden, right?”
“It’s not like that,” I countered. “It was you and me last night. Just you and me. Just us, and it felt fucking great. Don’t over analyze it.”
She turned away, fear written all over her face as she shot through the door back out to the kitchen. Addie was loading the dishwasher, and probably just assumed we’d been doing something innocent in the basement.
Fallon picked up her backpack. “Addie, I’m ready for school,” she rushed to say, slipping the bag on her back.
But I stepped in.
“I’ll take her,” I said, seeing Addie’s surprised expression.
I’d never driven Fallon to school, but I damn well wanted to today.
“Really?” Addie asked, looking delighted.
“No,” Fallon shot out, scowling at me. “I want Addie to take me. As usual. I don’t like the way you drive,” she said, clutching her backpack straps.
“He wants to take you to school,” Addie urged. “Let him.”
“No.” She started to walk out of the kitchen. “I’ll be in the car, Addie.”
Addie dried off her hands, and I clenched my fists. If I argued more, it would look suspicious, but I couldn’t let this go.
I’d try to give her a few days to calm down, but I wanted her in my hands again.
Addie walked up to me, patting me on the chest. “Well, thank you for the offer to drive her, Madoc. It’s nice to see you finally acting like a good brother.”
I dropped my head back and let out a sigh.
And that was one way to kill a hard on.
September 14, 2014
Falling Away Scene!
Ch. 6 Excerpt---K.C. POV
Enjoy!!
As he made his way back through town, the only sound we could hear was the water on the streets being kicked up under the tires. He’d silenced the radio, we weren’t talking, and...I felt like he’d switched off.
Everything felt alive when he'd kissed me. His heart under my palm. His breath in my mouth. His hands roaming over my skin like they were trying to memorize every inch.
Now, he was a bullet. Going from point A to point B without hesitation.
Until his flat tone finally filled the car. “Come home with me.”
I turned to him, stunned. “Are you serious?” I asked. "I don’t think I’d be enough for you.”
“Don’t do that,” he shot back. “Don’t ruin what happened between us. You were fire in my hands, and I want you to remember it, K.C.”
I could feel his eyes on me as I clasped the strap of Tate’s messenger bag sitting on the floor.
“Clothed, naked, I don’t care...,” he trailed off, sounding almost sad. “As long as your lips are on me again.”
I shifted in the seat, trying to buy myself time. What I wanted and what I should do were two different things. I’d fought that battle with Liam, my mother, and hell, the list went on. It was true when I told Jax that I wanted to be a mess. But I didn’t want to get hurt.
“Thanks for the driving lesson,” I told him. “And the ride home. But I’m not like you, Jax. I don’t just ignore the rules and take what I want.”
“You don’t know me.” His tone turned defensive. “You know nothing about me.”
“And what do you know about me?” I threw back. “Other than you wanted me to spread my legs in high school. You want to have fun with me and nothing more. Find someone else.”
He jerked the steering wheel to the right, and I grabbed the door handle to keep from vaulting over to his side of the car as he sped up into his driveway.
My heart jumped into my throat, and I shot out my hand, grabbing the dash when he skidded to a quick halt in front of his garage.
“Jax, careful!” I scolded.
He shut off the car, yanked the parking brake up, and turned to look at me, leaning his forearm on the steering wheel. “You think I don’t know you?” he challenged.
I pursed my lips. “No."
He shook his head and started. “You want to travel. To unusual and dangerous places. You hid a binder full of National Geographic pages in your locker in high school, because you didn’t want your mom to see all of the pictures you’d torn out to keep track of the places you wanted to visit.”
My jaw dropped slightly, and I widened my eyes. What?
He continued. “You didn’t eat lunch for an entire month senior year, because you saw Stu Levi not eating and found out his single mom was out of work and couldn’t afford to put money on his lunch card. So you put your own money on it.”
How did…?
“You love dark chocolate,” he kept going, “Ricky Gervais , and any movie with singing and dancing.” His voice filled the car, and my heartbeat was in my ears. “Except the Wizard of Oz, because the witch freaks you out, right? And you’ve collected almost an entire set of vintage Nancy Drew books. You had the most badges in your troop in Girl Scouts, and you had to quit swimming when you were fourteen, because your mom said that your shoulders were getting too muscular and you wouldn’t look feminine. You loved swimming,” he added.
I wrapped my arms around my stomach, the air turning cold. Tate and Liam didn’t even know all of that.
“I didn’t drool all over you in high school, K.C. I listened to you. I paid attention to you. What the hell do you know about me?”
And he swung the car door open, climbed out, and slammed it shut, not waiting for an answer.
I sat there, watching him walk into his house and close the door.
Then I bowed my head, letting the tears spilled over. As much as I wanted to prove him wrong, I couldn’t go after him.
He didn’t know that I watched him too. He didn’t know that I’d paid attention.
I always saw him.
“Music centers you,” I whispered to an empty car, looking up and staring at his front door. “You listened to your iPod between classes and while you sat on the bleachers before school every morning.” I smiled, letting more tears run down my cheeks and thinking back to him and his black hoodies, looking so dark. “You love popcorn. Almost every kind and flavor but especially with Tabasco sauce,” I said, remembering the times he would come into the theater where I worked. “You hold the door open for women—students, teachers, and even old ladies coming out of Baskin Robbins. You love movies about natural disasters, but they have to have some comedy in them. Your favorite one is Armageddon.” I swallowed and thought about how little I’d ever seen Jax truly smile. “And while you love computers, it’s not your passion,” I concluded. “You love being outdoors. You love having space.” My whole face hurt, the last words barely audible. “And you deserve someone who makes you happy. I’m just not that person.”
Enjoy!!
As he made his way back through town, the only sound we could hear was the water on the streets being kicked up under the tires. He’d silenced the radio, we weren’t talking, and...I felt like he’d switched off.
Everything felt alive when he'd kissed me. His heart under my palm. His breath in my mouth. His hands roaming over my skin like they were trying to memorize every inch.
Now, he was a bullet. Going from point A to point B without hesitation.
Until his flat tone finally filled the car. “Come home with me.”
I turned to him, stunned. “Are you serious?” I asked. "I don’t think I’d be enough for you.”
“Don’t do that,” he shot back. “Don’t ruin what happened between us. You were fire in my hands, and I want you to remember it, K.C.”
I could feel his eyes on me as I clasped the strap of Tate’s messenger bag sitting on the floor.
“Clothed, naked, I don’t care...,” he trailed off, sounding almost sad. “As long as your lips are on me again.”
I shifted in the seat, trying to buy myself time. What I wanted and what I should do were two different things. I’d fought that battle with Liam, my mother, and hell, the list went on. It was true when I told Jax that I wanted to be a mess. But I didn’t want to get hurt.
“Thanks for the driving lesson,” I told him. “And the ride home. But I’m not like you, Jax. I don’t just ignore the rules and take what I want.”
“You don’t know me.” His tone turned defensive. “You know nothing about me.”
“And what do you know about me?” I threw back. “Other than you wanted me to spread my legs in high school. You want to have fun with me and nothing more. Find someone else.”
He jerked the steering wheel to the right, and I grabbed the door handle to keep from vaulting over to his side of the car as he sped up into his driveway.
My heart jumped into my throat, and I shot out my hand, grabbing the dash when he skidded to a quick halt in front of his garage.
“Jax, careful!” I scolded.
He shut off the car, yanked the parking brake up, and turned to look at me, leaning his forearm on the steering wheel. “You think I don’t know you?” he challenged.
I pursed my lips. “No."
He shook his head and started. “You want to travel. To unusual and dangerous places. You hid a binder full of National Geographic pages in your locker in high school, because you didn’t want your mom to see all of the pictures you’d torn out to keep track of the places you wanted to visit.”
My jaw dropped slightly, and I widened my eyes. What?
He continued. “You didn’t eat lunch for an entire month senior year, because you saw Stu Levi not eating and found out his single mom was out of work and couldn’t afford to put money on his lunch card. So you put your own money on it.”
How did…?
“You love dark chocolate,” he kept going, “Ricky Gervais , and any movie with singing and dancing.” His voice filled the car, and my heartbeat was in my ears. “Except the Wizard of Oz, because the witch freaks you out, right? And you’ve collected almost an entire set of vintage Nancy Drew books. You had the most badges in your troop in Girl Scouts, and you had to quit swimming when you were fourteen, because your mom said that your shoulders were getting too muscular and you wouldn’t look feminine. You loved swimming,” he added.
I wrapped my arms around my stomach, the air turning cold. Tate and Liam didn’t even know all of that.
“I didn’t drool all over you in high school, K.C. I listened to you. I paid attention to you. What the hell do you know about me?”
And he swung the car door open, climbed out, and slammed it shut, not waiting for an answer.
I sat there, watching him walk into his house and close the door.
Then I bowed my head, letting the tears spilled over. As much as I wanted to prove him wrong, I couldn’t go after him.
He didn’t know that I watched him too. He didn’t know that I’d paid attention.
I always saw him.
“Music centers you,” I whispered to an empty car, looking up and staring at his front door. “You listened to your iPod between classes and while you sat on the bleachers before school every morning.” I smiled, letting more tears run down my cheeks and thinking back to him and his black hoodies, looking so dark. “You love popcorn. Almost every kind and flavor but especially with Tabasco sauce,” I said, remembering the times he would come into the theater where I worked. “You hold the door open for women—students, teachers, and even old ladies coming out of Baskin Robbins. You love movies about natural disasters, but they have to have some comedy in them. Your favorite one is Armageddon.” I swallowed and thought about how little I’d ever seen Jax truly smile. “And while you love computers, it’s not your passion,” I concluded. “You love being outdoors. You love having space.” My whole face hurt, the last words barely audible. “And you deserve someone who makes you happy. I’m just not that person.”
Jax Q & A
Questions about Jared's smooth--and a little scary--younger brother? Take a look!
http://www.asthepagesturn.com/2014/09...
http://www.asthepagesturn.com/2014/09...
Giveaway!!
There's a signed copy of BULLY up for grabs over on my Facebook page--signed by most of the authors at the Romance Reader and Author Event in Scotland this summer!
https://www.facebook.com/PenelopeDoug...
https://www.facebook.com/PenelopeDoug...
September 11, 2014
The Manwhore vs. The Virgin
This topic came up from time to time during BULLY's release, but it's seemed to come up more during RIVAL. Why the double-standard, and why is the girl always chaste?
It's a good point and worthy of discussion, so thank you for your feedback! I want my readers to know that I carefully consider everything I do in my books, and I always write hoping you all will love it.
(This discussion has possible RIVAL spoilers, so if you haven't read, don't continue to read this post.)
With this series, we see this dynamic between the hero and the heroine for three reasons:
1. These characters are all young. Someone has to be experienced to carry the sex scenes, but with their ages, it doesn't seem realistic to me that both would be heavily experienced. I was a virgin until I was 23.
2. In RIVAL, Fallon kept leaving Madoc, or so he thought. He felt rejection, loss, and loneliness. He had no reason to think she wasn't dating other guys during their spells apart. Now why did I have Fallon chaste? Because I modeled her after myself. When my first love and I broke up, he didn't hesitate to jump back in the game. I, on the other hand, couldn't stand the idea of someone else in my life for a long time. This isn't always how men and women handle break ups, but I went off my own experiences, and I think it's fairly common behavior.
3. Fallon explains why she stayed away from sex. It wasn't for Madoc. With all she'd been through, she needed to slow down, grow up, and back up. At such a young age, she'd already been through things such a young person shouldn't have to go through, and she wasn't emotionally prepared to make such adult decisions again.
Now Madoc is a young, attractive, and rich guy who gets a lot of attention. He felt abandoned by a girl he cared about, and he acted out. He used sex as immediate gratification to, if only for a little while, feel better again. I think this is very typical.
I would never try to promote a standard that says a man can do something a woman can't. It's not about what a woman can or can't do, or should or shouldn't do. It's about what a woman would or wouldn't do. Many women take more time to heal. I did.
Now, we all know K.C. is not a virgin. So if that is more to your liking, you're going to get what you want. And so does Jax.
Man oh man, does he get what he wants ;)
It's a good point and worthy of discussion, so thank you for your feedback! I want my readers to know that I carefully consider everything I do in my books, and I always write hoping you all will love it.
(This discussion has possible RIVAL spoilers, so if you haven't read, don't continue to read this post.)
With this series, we see this dynamic between the hero and the heroine for three reasons:
1. These characters are all young. Someone has to be experienced to carry the sex scenes, but with their ages, it doesn't seem realistic to me that both would be heavily experienced. I was a virgin until I was 23.
2. In RIVAL, Fallon kept leaving Madoc, or so he thought. He felt rejection, loss, and loneliness. He had no reason to think she wasn't dating other guys during their spells apart. Now why did I have Fallon chaste? Because I modeled her after myself. When my first love and I broke up, he didn't hesitate to jump back in the game. I, on the other hand, couldn't stand the idea of someone else in my life for a long time. This isn't always how men and women handle break ups, but I went off my own experiences, and I think it's fairly common behavior.
3. Fallon explains why she stayed away from sex. It wasn't for Madoc. With all she'd been through, she needed to slow down, grow up, and back up. At such a young age, she'd already been through things such a young person shouldn't have to go through, and she wasn't emotionally prepared to make such adult decisions again.
Now Madoc is a young, attractive, and rich guy who gets a lot of attention. He felt abandoned by a girl he cared about, and he acted out. He used sex as immediate gratification to, if only for a little while, feel better again. I think this is very typical.
I would never try to promote a standard that says a man can do something a woman can't. It's not about what a woman can or can't do, or should or shouldn't do. It's about what a woman would or wouldn't do. Many women take more time to heal. I did.
Now, we all know K.C. is not a virgin. So if that is more to your liking, you're going to get what you want. And so does Jax.
Man oh man, does he get what he wants ;)
August 29, 2014
Falling Away is Coming!!
First off, let me say thank you for all the love and support with Rival's release. Your reviews and messages mean so much, and I'm relieved this book touched your heart.
Second, I am happy to announce that Falling Away (Jax's story!) is off to the editor. All 116,000 heart-wrenching words! I am so anxious, like bouncing on my chair anxious, for you all to read this book. I love it, I live it, and there is not a darn thing I would do differently. This book, and their story, was my calling, and I can't wait to hand it off to you.
But is that the end of the Fall Away series? Will we have a more "grown up" story for Jared and Tate coming?
Well, we shall see... :)
Thank you again,
xoxo Penelope
Second, I am happy to announce that Falling Away (Jax's story!) is off to the editor. All 116,000 heart-wrenching words! I am so anxious, like bouncing on my chair anxious, for you all to read this book. I love it, I live it, and there is not a darn thing I would do differently. This book, and their story, was my calling, and I can't wait to hand it off to you.
But is that the end of the Fall Away series? Will we have a more "grown up" story for Jared and Tate coming?
Well, we shall see... :)
Thank you again,
xoxo Penelope
August 26, 2014
RIVAL is LIVE!!!!
Yay! Finally! Are you ready for Madoc? Please say you are, because he is more than ready for you! And so are Jared, Tate, and Jax :)
Happy Reading, and I hope you love it! Thank you to everyone who's already left reviews! It means so much :)
Amazon US---> http://amzn.to/1BYbjvw
Amazon UK---> http://amzn.to/1lbiWte
Amazon AU---> http://bit.ly/1p6GXwE
B&N---> http://bit.ly/1oT1PHO
Happy Reading, and I hope you love it! Thank you to everyone who's already left reviews! It means so much :)
Amazon US---> http://amzn.to/1BYbjvw
Amazon UK---> http://amzn.to/1lbiWte
Amazon AU---> http://bit.ly/1p6GXwE
B&N---> http://bit.ly/1oT1PHO
