Sophie Fletcher's Blog, page 8

Is it time we see hypnobirthing a different way?

It’s hypnobirthing, but perhaps not as you as you know it.

Last year I gave a lecture with my colleague Susan to a group of midwives and student midwives at Leicester Uni.  At one point during the lecture I asked everyone to raise their hands who thought that hypnobirthing was for low risk births, a calm waterbirth at home or in a birth centre. Almost everyone put their hands up. This wasn’t a surprise, I asked the question to demonstrate how prevalent this thinking is.

Hypnobirthing is not what it used to be

This stereotype of hypnobirthing for low risk has stuck around for a long time, yet during the time is has taken for hypnobirthing to become more mainstream, it’s changed a lot.  It’s much more progressive and embraces all types of birth. It is much more adaptable – as hypnosis should be. As practitioners, we are finding that it can make a profound difference to the experience of couples – whatever type of birth they have.

When I first started out in 2004 hypnobirthing was very much focused on normal birth, and pain free birth.  It seemed that there was an all or nothing approach – and this has been a failing of a lot of the research. I still hear women say things like “I didn’t get around to the techniques, so I didn’t hypnobirth” or “I made loads of noise so I didn’t hypnobirth’ or “I had to have a caesarean so I didn’t hypnobirth – but yes it was an amazing experience”.

It’s more than the name suggests

I heard these hypnobirthing reflections so often I thought about moving away from the name hypnobirthing, but I think this is the wrong approach. Just because hypnobirthing is misunderstood shouldn’t mean we have to change its name, instead we need to raise awareness of what it really is.  The focus has often been on just epidural rates rather than the experience itself, this needs to change and the real breadth of hypnobirthing needs to be recognised. The big question shouldn’t be what does a hypnobirth look like, it should be, “How does that women who has prepared with hypnobirthing feel after the birth”.  Nor should a woman think she’s failed at hypnobirthing because she’s made an informed choice to have an epidural.

There are so many different approaches out there. Not all hypnobirthing is the same just as not all hypnotherapists work the same way. I’m weary of hearing, “original and best” – a bold claim when hypnosis for birth has been documented as early as the 19th Century, continuing to evolve constantly as a therapy – taught by so many fantastic teachers out there teaching it in different ways with similar results.

 

What is it if it’s not about pain free birth?

First, it isn’t just about pain management. True, hypnosis is an incredible way to manage pain; I’ve seen people with severe chronic pain leave my general clinic free of discomfort, saying it’s better than morphine. BUT, it’s also about resilience, stress reduction, confidence, being in the right headspace to make an informed choice – it’s about knowing that whatever journey the birth takes that you can do it. It’s also about experience and making that experience as positive as it can be.  Pain relief is often associated with hypnobirthing;  this is because very often pain is what women are most fearful of, and ultimately hypnobirthing is about addressing fears, as it’s fear that hinders birth – just as it hinders so much else in our lives. Hypnosis is brilliant at getting under the surface and discovering what sits beneath a fear, changing our response to it and helping us to fulfill our potential.

And what about me? I’m high risk.

If you are higher risk (and more and more women are) you may be losing out to the low risk hypnobirthing belief. I’ve been a doula at some births that have been classed as high risk, but mothers have gone on to have births with very low levels of intervention, if any.  I’ve been at a homebirth after a caesarean, a baby born with cysts on their lungs (CCAM), both of whom were born without any intervention at all – both with thorough birth plans and great support from their midwifery teams. I would have thought if a birth is higher risk and potentially more stressful, that to learn techniques which reduce that stress on the you, your baby and your partner is a no brainer.

If you are higher risk, do your research

It also encourages you to do your research, often it takes on average 17 years for research to trickle down into working culture, so we often have to take it upon ourselves to ensure we have all the most up to date evidence.  Hypnobirthing was suggesting delayed cord clamping as an option to parents over 20 years ago!  Only in the last few years hospitals have introduced a two minute wait policy, but there is still an evidenced based campaign ongoing to “wait for white”, to wait until the cord has stopped pulsing.

Caesarean Births?

A caesarean birth? Of course you can use hypnosis and mindfulness with a caesarean birth. We actually have a private workshop set up for this and have done for a long time, we even have an mp3 set. Hypnosis and mindfulness in pregnancy reduce anxiety, helping you manage day to day stress – benefitting baby as well. Shortly before being called to theatre a simple mindfulness exercise or body and baby scan can connect you with your baby and your body in a very positive way, and in turn change the experience of birth to something very positive and woman centred.  You are birthing your baby, not having your baby delivered by a caesarean section. Hypnotherapy is a therapy of language and when a birth is higher risk then this can make an enormous difference to your choices, your ownership of your baby’s birth. It’s great for helping you if you have needle phobias, fear of sickness, hospitals or blood –  or any other specific fears that may be part of a caesarean birth.

Postnatally it can help with healing, though there is no specific research for hypnosis post caesarean, there is for other types of surgery where hypnosis speeds up the time it takes to come out of anaesthesia and to heal. Personally, I use hypnosis all the time, and had amazing results when I broke my elbow. Perhaps coincidental, but the consultant said he’d never seen one heal so fast and with full extension in the arm….who knows!

A hypnotherapist will be able to work more deeply with phobias, so I would recommend seeing a hypnotherapist who specialises in birth if you have any very specific issues like fear of sickness, needles, blood and so on.  However, on the whole simple hypnobirthing techniques can be adapted to any situation.

However, you choose birth, hypnobirthing practice in pregnancy can have a positive impact on stress reduction and baby’s development in utero.

So go out there and help spread the message, that hypnobirthing is not just about pain relief its about taking ownership of your birth, being in control and feeling as if you are able to make the best choices for your and your baby.

 

It creates resilience and a deep sense of knowing you can do it

 

It prepares the birth partner to be more than practical support

 

It gives tools and techniques that can help in any situation, including higher risk births

 

Most hypnobirthing is done during pregnancy, if you are practicing  – because of this some find they don’t need techniques or don’t have time to use them. If this is you, you’ve still hypnobirthed!

 

A hypnobirther can be noisy or quiet. A good teacher will teach that it’s about being relaxed enough to express yourself the way you feel you need to in any given moment

 

You can use mindful hypnobirthing to prepare for a caesarean birth

 

It’s about experience not epidural rates.

 

It’s all about helping you make the right choices for you and your baby

 

A good experience can help you get onto stronger footing in those challenging early days of motherhood

 

Mindful Hypnobirthing techniques can also be applied after birth in those early days. Click here to see our 4th trimester pack, for those early weeks and months of becoming a new mum.

 

 

 

 

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The Wounded Mother and Social Media.

You can’t have missed the news last week – the Telegraph’s headline about Mumsnet stories increasing fear and caesarean section requests.  Instead of jumping onto social media and commenting with indignation, I sat back and thought about it. A few people wrote to me and said, you should write a blog on this, but I was reluctant.

Why?  Because it’s a huge, complicated issue that I find difficult to sum up in just a few words of a blog. Women who are having babies are affected, women who have had babies are affected, it affects the people who care for those women, and the families of those women. A different narrative exists for each and every group of women involved in this. And when it comes down to it this is largely a woman’s issue.

This debate was needed, because so many women are angry, fed up and traumatised. There are women who have lost the will to fight – the will to fight the healthcare providers if they are told to have an intervention they don’t want, the will to stay in a profession they love and care about, the will to do do simple day to day tasks when they are overcoming a trauma.

I have had mixed feelings for a while about the role of social media in bringing birth more into the public eye.  The raw nature of birth is just a hashtag click away on Instagram; is this a good or a bad thing? On the one hand there is a necessity to normalise birth, and it’s true that many women find reassurance in seeing other women birth. Images and stories of positive births, and of trauma have a role to play in forming our own choices around birth. When we allow our curiosity to dig deep under the surface, rather than skim an Instagram reel with 3 second flickers of engagement, we are beginning to realise that this is a much more profound societal shift than it presents itself as.

It’s an exposé of birth, what it could be, what its impact is at every level.  It educates and empowers us, but it also opens up a wound that exists in our society which is being shoved under the carpet with promises of more midwives, better services, like a sticking plaster. All over the country there are failings, like the tragic closure of the beautiful Halcyon Birth Centre in Smethwick this week, a centre originally  campaigned for by the Midwife Kathryn Gutteridge and a gold standard of maternity care for families.  The wounded mother archetype is there is for all to see, vulnerable, strong, persistent, unfailing in her determination to do what’s right for the generations that come after her despite the challenges she faces.

Do I think this level of exposure of trauma increases anxiety?  Yes, I do. Why? Many women are anxious before birth anyway and seeing images related to that fear, without an even basic therapeutic or learning support system in place, can compound that fear. But the things that women are anxious about could, on the whole, be easily remedied by good antenatal education, an understanding about how their bodies are working. Yet, more and more I am seeing women who are frightened not of birth itself but of their autonomy around choice and whether they can trust their care provider. This is about the system, not the people who work to support those women each and every day, who are wonderful in my experience.

New research shows that 29 out of every 30 midwives that are trained leave the profession. And the most recent RCM report shows that despite training 2000 new midwives last year that there are only 67 more midwives registered.

These are women who LOVE the essence of their job but can’t do it properly. They put their own registration under risk, by trying to rise above a severe lack of resources. The trauma we hear of isn’t because a woman’s body has failed her, or because of the midwives who supported her and cared for her. We know we can birth, midwives are confident in their knowledge to support and care antenatally and postnatally,  but it’s about a system that is failing all of us, and that causes us to doubt that we will make it through unscathed.

And the mothers, women who are left with trauma?  They are on social media, because there is nowhere else for them to go. This I find is the biggest failing of all. Social Media helps women find their tribe, but women who have been traumatised should not need to seek this out because they fail to get the support they need elsewhere.  How is it ok for women with trauma to have to turn to a medium that is now known to increase problems with mental health, because they are not heard elsewhere? Or because of the stigma around perinatal mental health, not want to talk about it elsewhere.  They have to be heard within a compassionate structure that helps them process trauma in a healthy way.

And how to prevent trauma?  We have to educate ourselves. When the system fails us, what have we always done? We do it ourselves. If you are pregnant, you have to be assertive in your preparation, decide what is important to you, learn about your options. You have choice. But you have to know those choices so you can ask for them. There are ways to make the most of the system, sometimes you get lucky but most of the time you have to really be prepared. This isn’t meant to scare you, but it is urging you to gather your partner, your midwife, and your plan together, to do your research and to be assertive, even when it feels like it’s too much like hard work. Knowing about doula’s, and other practical resources that can help reduce the risks of intervention and trauma are all part of this learning process.

There are all sorts of movements begun by women and professionals, Make Birth Better initiative, The Positive Birth Movement, the incredible Save our Midwives campaign that rescued the option of independent midwives – hard fought and desperate at times but victorious. All over the country there are actions and initiatives run by midwives, health professionals, women like you and me. Each and every one of us can make a difference and although sometimes invisible we are all there, working together for the same goal, to make birth better for the women who come after us. Social media may not be the perfect medium but it’s raising questions and creating debate, it’s tearing off the plaster.

If you need to speak to someone and feel you are struggling please talk to your midwife or someone close to you. This page on Make Birth Better is full of good resources. You might always want to read this resource by Mind . 

 

 

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10 reasons why we love Mindful Hypnobirthing

All of this packed up in a one day workshop, what’s not to love?

 

Click this link to find out more…. 

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#meditatewithme

What is #meditatewithme about?

If you hadn’t noticed, last week I started a daily 5-minute live meditation – #meditatewithme on Instagram stories. Perhaps you are starting mindfulness or hypnosis for birth or maybe you’re a new parent who wants to add some of this brain magic in to their life.  If you’ve not done this regularly it can feel a bit daunting and it’s easy to say “ I’ll start next week”, or “do it tomorrow” –  with the #meditatewithme series I wanted to show you it’s not all beaches, beautiful studios and silence but it’s about making it work in your life whatever is going on and wherever you are.  It’s also not about finding time, it’s about being in the time you have.

That time may be at work with lots of people and noise around, it may be at home with children, everywhere all the time. Those are the moments that you can hone your practice and find balance in. Really, honestly!

Where it began for me.

Let me tell you a story. Years ago I went on a retreat with Thich Nhat Hanh…and a 3 and 4 year old. Was I crazy, perhaps, a little bit naïve, maybe. It was the retreat I grew most in. There were quite a few children and so there were exercises integrated for parenting – he said that children’s noises were like birdsong to him, and that children were our greatest pleasure. They also offered us a wonderful lesson. To meditate in a quiet room is easy he said but it takes time to develop a practice with interruptions and noise.

I learned a lot about this at the first dinner.  Meals were eaten in silence, you would serve yourself then go the table where there were places, set your food down and wait until the table was full until before you began to eat. I sat down with my children and my mother, and we waited, and waited and waited. Our food grew cold. Nearly 20 people deliberately ignored us, walked past –  filling up the tables behind us. My children were quiet, and patient, waiting to eat too. But I sat there in conflict, part of me was so angry, part of me felt close to tears, part of me tried to find compassion for those who walked by and there were around 20 of them! But I stayed silent. Then a group of young people in their late teens and early 20’s came and pointedly sat down and smiled at us. It was a moment of immense joy!

What an opportunity the people who walked by missed! The practice did not fit in with them, and they choose to walk by instead of  allowing themselves to experience the practice as it was in the moment. An opportunity for kindness for growth and for connection.  These moments are moment of growth and you can be open to them. 

What is #meditatewithme?

I started #meditatewithme as I wanted you to see the reality of mindfulness. I have two teens and I often feel I’m chasing my tail, still catching up from when they were born. The house is often a bit (*cough*) messy, there are normal everyday house noises, children bickering, shouting, laughing, trampoline bouncing, my mum at the door, the dog barking, my husband swearing at the slugs munching on our three sorry strawberries in the veggie patch while I’m about to click  “go live” and unexpected calls from friends as I’m about to settle down.

Last week was a really busy week, the type of week in which my own practice slips. Most days my live ended up being toward the end of the day when I forced myself to find that time, because I knew that there were people expecting it. I had a hilarious moment with a very calming candle meditation and super loud bird timer going off, poor reception, battery about to run down just as I was about to start.

Also if the camera is facing away from me, I’ve probably got marmite smeared across my face, hair scrapped off my face and mascara still there from Saturday’s dinner (It’s Monday).  I’m probably also wearing my working from home uniform.

But….I felt so much better afterwards. When my son got out of his maths lesson and I’d done my five minutes I was so much better dealing with the fall out and when my 13 year old rang to say he’d miss his school bus, I was calm as a cucumber.

This week I started the challenge by stepping out of my comfort zone and doing a quick video in TKMaxx, yup, I did.  And in the coming weeks I want to show you other ways that you can be integrate mindfulness into your parenting, or if you are a mum-to-be who is preparing for her birth how you can fit practice in around a busy work shedule. It could be hilarious, or it could help you to see how you can integrate it more into work and home.

If you do a video, a story or a photo remember to tag me @mindfulmammauk and use the hashtage #meditate with me.

See you over on Instagram!

 

 

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International Day of the Midwife 2018

Free MP3 download for Midwives
International Day of the Midwife

Happy you day!  This is a day to recognise the incredible work you do, the care you give others.  As a midwife there may be a wide range of emotions that you experience each day, joy, sadness, anxiety, happiness, relief. I can’t think of many professions where people can experience such extreme emotions in such a short space of time.

This is why it’s important for you to take time out to destress, to let things go, ground yourself. Regular practice of mindfulness or other things that allow you to really let go of the day, are vital to building resilience and preventing burn out.

We see what you do, all of the mothers whose babies are born into this world and have been cared by you say THANK YOU. Thank you for doing the best that you can each and every day. You do an incredible job and you are amazing.

This mp3 is my gift to you, for all the mothers that have said to me “my midwife was fantastic, she listened to me, and really cared, she helped me have the birth I wanted”.

Have a wonderful day and enjoy

Sophie x

 

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Preparing for Parenthood as a Disabled Parent

Photo credit: Pexels
 Preparing for Parenthood as a Disabled Parent

Guest Blog by Ashley Taylor

disabledparents.org

Preparing for Parenthood as a Disabled Parent

The anticipation of having a new child is simultaneously exciting and terrifying. After all, you want to give your child the best life possible. And when you have a disability, your life can be even more unpredictable. Learning how to balance the responsibilities of parenthood with a disability is something that millions of people must consider each year. Just know you’re not alone, and there are many resources and options available for you.

Here are a few suggestions on important steps you need to take to prepare psychologically and emotionally, as well as some ways to make sure your home is ready for your new baby.

Find support

An important part of psychologically preparing yourself for parenthood is getting the specifics about what your child needs. One of the best (and cheapest!) resources is asking friends and family about their own experiences raising children. Conversations about routine things you need to do as a parent can help develop confidence as you visualize and make other preparations to be successful.

There are also online communities and resources that can help you adapt your unique experiences to the responsibilities of parenthood. Through these communities, you can find people with similar experiences, learn what they did, find out what works and doesn’t work, and brainstorm your own approach. This can help you develop confidence in your own abilities and can also help identify strengths that you bring to parenting.

Take advantage of leisure time

According to The New York Times, a parent’s emotional resilience impacts the emotional resilience of their children, so it’s extra important that we prepare ourselves to handle the emotional ups and downs that parenthood brings. Giving yourself some time to rest and recharge is important, so make sure that you share responsibilities with your partner or anyone else who is helping you raise your children.

According to The Atlantic, studies have shown that some parents come to enjoy and appreciate their leisure time more after they become parents. Leisure time is something everyone enjoys but maybe doesn’t always take advantage of, so don’t worry about having a perfect-looking house or getting everything done. Who knows? Maybe becoming a parent will bring you a little closer to finally writing that novel or tackling a new knitting project.

Make your home baby-ready

One big step is considering the changes you may need to make to your home. Clearly this will vary based on your particular abilities and living circumstances. Some common modifications include installing grab bars in tubs and showers to assist in bathing your children, or using nonslip rugs and mats to make sure both you and your child are safe. Go through each room in your home and visualize what you need to do. There are many online guides that can help you figure out which modifications can help.

Another resource to consider is an occupational therapist. Occupational therapists use specialized assessments to model complexities that may arise in the fulfillment of your parenting tasks. They can identify and come up with alternate solutions or methodologies that are designed for your lifestyle. Additionally, they can provide an invaluable resource for identifying and installing housing modifications that you need.

You’ve got this

Overall, there are a lot of resources to help make sure you feel confident and prepared. Whether you’re making home modifications or having important conversations about the division of caregiving responsibilities, preparing early will help make the parenting experience more manageable. You’re already making progress by searching for information and thinking about any improvements or changes you need to make. Ultimately, your unique experience and teachings will help to give your child the necessary tools to live a resilient and happy life.

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Bec’s Birth Story

I’m here!

Bec’s Birth Story – First Baby Home Birth with Hypnobirthing

Before the birth – preparation

When I first got pregnant, I was surprised to find I wasn’t feeling nervous about birth at all; that it was just part of the rite of passage of having a baby.  I thought to myself, if I could keep this level of calm for the birth, everything would go well.  After a lot of research, I decided on a home birth, but I felt that in order to pull it off, I needed to do a lot of mental preparation.

Fairly early on in my pregnancy I had stumbled across a hypnobirthing video – it focused on the mother in a pool, alone, and showed her breathing deeply and calmly at the latter stages of labour.  I was stunned – I wanted to give birth like this!  How had she stayed so calm?  Every time I heard the term “hypnobirthing” from then on, I heard a positive story.

I read Marie Mongan’s and Sophie Fletcher’s hypnobirthing books, downloaded the Mindful Mamma meditation MP3s (which I listened to most nights to help me drift off to sleep), and also booked onto a Mindful Mamma course to get some practical techniques to use.  Not only was the workshop useful for me to learn how to apply the techniques, it also gave my husband Andy something practical and proactive to do during labour.

I also prepared for my birth choice by going to a local home birth group, which increased my confidence in feeling that home birth was the right choice for me, and with support from hypnobirthing, I could do it.

As we approached the birth, Andy and I gathered everything we had learnt together.  I picked out the techniques from the course and books that I liked the best and thought would work and talked them through with Andy.  We started thinking about the birth space – our kitchen – and how to set up a pool in there and make it really relaxing (which meant leaving up the Christmas fairy lights!).  Soon my kitchen was covered in visual and mental aids – mantras, paperwork with tips for labour, scan pictures and pictures to remind me of the meditations I’d covered.

As my due date approached, I was ready but not desperate for my baby to be born.  One of the mantras I’d found during hypnobirthing was “my baby knows the right time to be born” and therefore I trusted him/her to arrive when they were ready.  So instead of worrying or being impatient, I channelled my energy into enjoying maternity leave instead.

The night before I went into labour, I told a close friend that I felt suspicious that night that something would happen – and it did!

Labour

I woke up on the 10th January at 4am with what I described to myself as “painful bowel movements”.  I tried to go back to sleep, but I kept feeling the same uncomfortable sensation so eventually around 5am decided to get up and eat something.  Having never experienced labour at this point, I wasn’t yet convinced that this was it.  I warned Andy that I was feeling something, but decided to wait until 7am to wake him up properly in case it was all for nothing.

As time went on, the feeling was starting to become more of a period-pain like cramp rather than bowel movements, and quite frequent but irregular.  To take my mind off things I picked up my knitting, listened to my meditation MP3s and labour playlist, and also tried out some deep breathing.  I started to become more convinced something real was happening, so just in case, I began to prep and de-clutter the kitchen, turned on the fairy lights, moved the fold-out mattress and my birth ball into the kitchen, and woke up Andy with a cup of tea.  I also set my oven timer to display 0:00 so that I didn’t clock-watch throughout the day as I wanted to experience the “time-distortion” that can happen with deep meditation.

Whilst Andy finished prepping the kitchen by bringing out the pool and mats, I started to think about using the TENS machine I had bought to see what it was like and if it did anything, and told a friend of mine (who was a big fan of TENS).  Her response was “do you really need it?” – and this really caught me in my tracks.  If I tried the TENS now, would this lead to a spiralling of different types of pain management and a different direction to where I wanted to go in?  As I didn’t *need* it, I decided against trying it out and I really thank that friend for catching me there and then!

After timing the sensations I was feeling, Andy suggested we call the midwife as I was still having 3 of them in 10 minutes.  Still not really believing I was in labour, I agreed that he should call them, but tell them it’s probably nothing.  When the midwife turned up at around 10am and did the first internal examination, I was 4cm dilated! I couldn’t believe it.

The next few hours were mostly tea and chat whilst the birth pool was filled.  I continued to bounce on the birth ball or laid down during what I now knew were contractions.  I was still mostly using long inhalations and exhalations to get through them, but occasionally led by Andy who did the 3-2-1-relax-relax-relax exercise and helped me visualise blowing a feather across a lake.  I remember smiling at the end of each contraction and reminding myself that each one would be bringing my baby closer to me.

By 1.30pm I was 6cm dilated and the half-filled birth pool was starting to look enticing.  Once it was full and I got in, I immediately relaxed into it and it gave me a chance to have a breather as things slowed down for a while (as generally happens in a pool).  I also found that I now had control over when I had a contraction.  If I stayed still, I didn’t have a contraction and could relax and rest. When I decided to change position, it triggered another contraction.  I used this benefit of the pool to pace myself for a while.

I was still using long in and out breaths to breathe through contractions at this point.  My helpers had been feeding me water and fizzy Lucozade – I soon asked for the fizz to be taken out of the Lucozade as it made me burp when I was trying to breathe deeply!

Another breathing technique I used was breathing through the phrasing of the music of the tracks on my labour playlist, which had been playing quietly in the background.  My choice of tracks was based on slow, relaxing songs and music with deep personal connections to me – such as our first dance song and some of my all-time favourite tracks.  Each track made me smile for different reasons – and I remember smiling after most of my contractions.  If a part of the music I really loved came on during a contraction, I really went with it, allowed myself to get lost in the sound for a moment and breathed along with the tune.

After an hour or so in the pool, the midwife suggested I get out for a while to get things moving along again.  After having gained control over my contractions in the pool, I was reluctant to get out at first as I knew they’d start coming fast again, but I also didn’t want things to slow down to the point they stopped.  I decided to get out and got dressed, and sure enough they started up quickly again.

My next check was at 5.30pm and at this inspection I was 8cm dilated but the midwife managed to stretch me to 9cm.  My waters still hadn’t broken at this point but were bulging and ready to go any second.  I could feel the pressure myself and could feel some frustration building.  There was some talk about the midwife breaking them for me, but because they were so close, we decided to wait.  Sure enough, as I was stood by the pool, they finally gave way and the pressure and frustration subsided quickly.

After that, it was time for me to get back in the pool again and back to having control over my contractions.  I began to think about what other breathing techniques I had covered in my preparation, and remembered watching a useful video about sounds women make during labour.  I decided to try out some “mooing”, conscious that the video had explained that the deeper the noise was, the better – so I focused on trying to keep the noise I was making relaxed and deep.  I “mooed” my way through the next couple of hours through to the pushing stage.  I also had my first “urge to push” soon after getting back into the pool – it took me by surprise as my body did just take over me for a second and there was nothing I could do about it.

At around 9.30pm, the midwife explained to me the “purple line” some women have on their lower backs when they are fully dilated, and that I had a very clear one showing in the pool, so there was no need to do another internal examination or get out of the pool again.

As things progressed further and I started feeling the urge to push again, I switched to balloon breath (clenching my fist and blowing into it), which I loved as a technique and had practiced before going into labour – I liked the fact you could feel that breathing that way changed the feeling of the out-breath internally, and would help during pushing.  My body switched from letting me have control over contractions to doing what it needed to do – it told me when to push, and using balloon breath, I just had to guide it, hold it and go with it.  I spent most of my time in the pool at this point on all fours/kneeling with my arms over my side as it felt the most comfortable, though I was recommended to “squat” a couple of times to allow gravity to give a little helping hand.

I started to feel like the head was beginning to come, and the midwife was really encouraging and guiding me at this point, telling me how “open” my body was, to go with the breaths and what my body was trying to do.  She seemed to completely get what I was aiming to do with my birth and birth plan.  Andy was using the mantras “we’re going to have a baby soon” and “we get to find out if it is a boy or a girl”, and we also used another anchoring technique we’d developed where our foreheads touched and sometimes making eye contact.  It really helped me engage with him and what we were doing.

My breathing at that point was switching between balloon and deep breathing, and when I felt the stretch as the head started to come, I remember it made me gasp (like stepping on something sharp) – but I still managed to maintain control.  As the cycle of the head coming out and contracting continued, I got to a point where I could “hold” the breath and push to stop it retracting in so far again, and each contraction then made the next push and stretch a little stronger and motivated me to keep going – our baby would be here soon if I kept doing this.

As the stretch got bigger and bigger, eventually there was one more “argh” from me, and the head came out.  I was encouraged to give one more little push to get the chin out, and remember it felt like a little “pop” as it was born.  Andy remembers that seeing the head there staring out of the water was a very strange experience!  With one more big push, the baby came out and was guided straight up onto my chest and wrapped in towels in the water.

I asked the time and was surprised it was still the 10th January, at 11.29pm – I thought I’d laboured into the next day.  At this point, I was sitting back in the pool and Andy was round me, with the baby on my left side.  We looked at each other and then I held the baby back slightly so we could see – and as we suspected (and secretly wanted, but wouldn’t admit it), he was a boy!

The post Bec’s Birth Story appeared first on Mindful Hypnobirthing.

Birth Story: Welcome to the World Benjamin

Rachel and Nick attending a class in Barrow upon Soar in November, here Rachel share’s the story of Benjamin’s birth.

Benjamin David More was born on 7th December (8 days overdue) weighing exactly 7lb. We are besotted!

A huge thank you for all your help in the lead up to his birth. Sorry for the delay in writing this but, here’s my birth story…

My birth story

About half way through my pregnancy I started to feel very anxious about The Birth! I’d binged watched One Born Every Minute and decided I did not want my birth to be as horrific as some I’d seen on there. So, I researched hypnobirthing and decided I wanted a completely unassisted birth without any medical intervention. I practised ‘Mindful Hypnobirthing’ and Nerissa’s pregnancy yoga.

Friday 1st December 2017

I lost my mucous plug! I hoped labour was imminent, as I was overdue by 3 days and felt very ready to meet our baby.

Wednesday 6th December 2017

10am – I heard dripping on the bathroom floor, looked down and my waters had finally broken! Whilst showering, I noticed the fluid didn’t look right. It was cloudy with steaks of green. I feared meconium was present. I called the hospital and was advised to come in straight away.

12pm – I arrived at LRI.  On examination, I was already 1-2cm dilated but was not yet experiencing contractions. A speculum examination confirmed meconium in my waters. I was told I would need to be induced ASAP, as the baby could be in distress.

I was so upset. All my hopes for a totally natural birth evaporated. I stressed to the doctor and midwives that I did not wish to be confined to a bed. I wanted to use the movement and breathing techniques I’d been practising for weeks.

They explained I would need to be attached to a drip and connected to monitors, meaning any movement would be very restricted. They were so understanding though and agreed I could move around as much as possible by the side of the bed, even though this would make life much more difficult for them, as they would need to move with me to keep track of the baby’s heart rate.

3pm – The cannula for the induction was placed.

5pm – I was transferred to delivery suite and the syntocinon drip (induction) was initiated.

7pm – Contractions began. At this point they felt like waves of energy moving through me and there was plenty of space between them. I actually enjoyed the rush feeling they gave me. No food was allowed so I rested in bed, lying on my side to try and conserve energy before labour intensified.

9pm – Contractions stepped up a gear. The hypnobirthing and Nerissa’s yoga tracks were playing on loop in the background, “This is youuurrrr birth…each contraction will end…”. I used my TENS machine on a very low setting and inhaled lavender oil on a tissue during each contraction wave. The lighting was low.

I could not lie down any more, especially not on my back. It was just far too uncomfortable. I rocked on my birthing ball beside the bed for a while and focused on my breath, “I breath in I relax…I breathe out I let go”.  When the ball became uncomfortable, I stood, using the side of the bed for support whilst I swayed back and forth and round and round.

10pm – I started to feel very shaky and shivery. It felt like a sugar low so my husband fetched me a sugary drink. I immediately vomited. I’ve since learned that the oxytocin hormone can cause this. My cervix was now 4cm dilated.

Thursday 7th December 2017

12am – Contractions became more intense with less space to recover between them. I cranked up the TENS machine and was more and more vocal with my exhalations. My husband had to remind me a couple of times to keep the sounds low. I hummed and ha’d a lot!

1am – I started to feel very tired and doubted myself being able to continue without any help. I felt like a needed to poo really badly so the midwife brought me a bed pan but it just wouldn’t come. I begged her to examine me, as I felt the urge to push. To my absolute relief she was surprised to say I was fully dilated! This was just what I needed to hear and I regained my energy and focus. I since recognised that I was in transition.

2am – My midwife was struggling to keep track of the foetal heart rate. She wasn’t sure if it kept dropping because the baby was in distress or if all my movements meant she just lost contact with it.

She insisted she would direct me with pushing as she wanted the baby out quickly. I agreed. I leant over the side of the bed and after about 4 or 5 deep, powerful roars out came the head – and a hand! I never expected I would give birth standing up but this is just what my body wanted me to do.  One more push and the baby popped out and was handed to me at 2.36am. In all the excitement, I almost tripped over the umbilical cord which was hanging down like a skipping rope. My beautiful baby boy was finally here and in my arms.

Even though my birth didn’t go as planned, I still felt I had an amazing birth experience. I needed no pain relief other than TENS. I truly believe that this was down to the hypnosis and yoga techniques I’d learned and also the fact the midwives and doctors were so accommodating to my wishes.

I was offered gas and air for the placenta delivery which I was very grateful for, as I was too exhausted to rely on breathing alone anymore! I needed stiches for the 2nd degree tears due to him coming out like superman (compound presentation) and the hurried pushing.

Then Ben was given back to me and he latched on to my breast straight away. What an incredible feeling!

Lots of love, Nick, Rachel and Baby Ben xxx

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Birth Story: An unplanned homebirth for baby Daisy

Kate has kindly shared her story with us and unlike many of the birth stories we receive Kate didn’t take one of our classes. She did however listen to the audio book of ‘Mindful Hypnobirthing’.
Here is her story….
Photograph courtesy of Rachel Jane Photography

“My hypnobirthing story! I’m not sure if I’d recommend hypnobirthing or not

Birth Story: Welcome To The World Monty

Jessica and Richard attended a class in July, here they share what led them to take the class and the story of how they gently welcomed their son Monty into the world.

I just wanted to send through a note to express my gratitude for your influence and role in the wonderful birth I experienced on the 13th October, when we gently welcomed our son Monty to the world.

I completed the Mindful Mamma course with the lovely Ann back in July, having stumbled across the Mindful Hypnobirthing book and audio and completely loving the philosophy and techniques. I’d been listening to the tracks and reading and re-reading the book right from 16 weeks, however the course was invaluable in including my husband in the pregnancy and preparation for birth – he arrived at the course secretly a little sceptical but supportive, and left feeling empowered and having lost that feeling of being ‘in the way’. This totally carried through when our time came to labour, and he was a fantastic advocate and support.

My birth:

I’d found out at 12 weeks that I had Step B, which had been a consistent source of anxiety for me during pregnancy – not necessarily just because of any risk to the Baby, but also because I was extremely fearful that this automatically put me on the ‘high risk’ list and under consultant care. I was really nervous, right up to going into hospital that I was going to have a constant battle with the consultancy team to avoid intervention – something very important to me as I wanted to keep the birth as calm and natural as possible.

At 3:45 in the morning my waters went whilst in bed, following just 2 or 3 strong contractions. Once the waters had gone (and they went with a gush!) I was experiencing very strong contractions every 4/5 minutes for about 1/2 an hour. As I had Strep B I’d been asked to call the hospital and go in as soon as my waters went – so we did this and made our way to the hospital, an hours drive away from our rural home. During the journey I managed through my contractions by listening to the Mindful Mamma hypnosis tracks and the Mindful Mamma music – I don’t remember much of the journey!

Once we arrived into hospital we were shown into our room and we waited an hour or so for my midwife to come and check Labour progress. By now my contractions were very strong and coming every 3 mins, and I imagined I was probably around 4/5 cm… so when my midwife said it was more 1 to 2 cm I felt extremely worried and disheartened – if I found the contractions this painful at this point, how on Earth was I going to manage?!

What a relief.. and we didn’t see him again. The following 10 hours were spent calmly labouring in private with my husband and a wonderful midwife, who had taken courses in hypnobirthing and was amazing – most of the time I didn’t notice she was there, until I needed her. I did go through the typical ‘transition’ which Ann warned us about, when I calmly asked for an epidural when I’d got to 7cm. Having been watching me calmly breath through contractions up until this point, my midwife wisely suggested I try some gas and air instead… what a dream!

I feel like I sailed through the last few cm with the help of gas and air, breathing consciously through contractions (Breathe in , I relax, breathe out – I let go!) using the breaks to speak lovingly with my husband, drink water and even snack!

The final stages of labour were the most empowering moments of my life so far, breathing through those ‘pushes’ and feeling totally serene in between, gazing up at my husband and midwife. The midwife has since said it was an absolute privilege to be part of such a calm and loving birth.

Monty joined us at 7pm that evening, following an hour of active pushing (which felt like 10 minutes!) weighing 7lb 2 at 39 weeks.

Our first 3 weeks of parenthood have been beautiful and tough all at the same time – and were thoroughly in love with him! We both found the birth such a hugely positive experience, and I personally feel such a sense of achievement that we managed to have the dream birth which we’d envisaged. I majorly attribute our experience with the way in which we prepared for the birth with Mindful Mamma – and we’ll forever be grateful to Ann and Sophie.

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