Ina Disguise's Blog: New blog, page 10

The News

For those on the site looking for the new free short story, it is still in the works, I just put the ads up early  I am finishing a piece of artwork for the cover, so it will be ready soon.

Ina

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New Short Story on the way

So I have a new short story coming, it is for the personality disorder series, and it is another Cluster B, but I think this one would more properly fit into the Anti-Social Personality Disorder category, although the subject has a mish mash of a few and also fitted the profile of a malignant.

I think we are almost ready to put the Personality Disorder stories out as a paperback, I may write up a Borderline sufferer I met as well to finish up.

I still havent collated Short Misadventures, but we have three or four paperback sized books now, so I will think about whether I want to put them out.  Some of them were quite rough because I was more interested in publishing and the process than I was in publicity at the time. I am sure a bit of editing and thinking about them won’t go amiss.

That’s it for now.

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Project update

Unable to tell if it is Boris or Little Shiva as you are both showing as the same just now, but hi. I am not working on artwork at all at the moment because of the lack of film project.

There doesn’t seem a whole lot of point when I cannot complete the project.  I have considered moving the film part to another area of Glasgow, and since I didn’t make the stuff there, it doesn’t seem terribly relevant.

I have a couple of work related things on the go at the moment which will hopefully keep me busy for a while as this is not much fun.  I no longer trust anybody so there is no way of obtaining any assistance with the projects.

I did want to get it done this year due to age, but since Bawbag is bored, waiting to go to jail, making threats and continuing to pull the same bullshit my family used to pull, I don’t think I will do it at all. It’s just a waste of my time and money.

It is unfortunate that there is no treatment for people that are as boring and miserable.  I had to listen to hours and hours of his drivel whilst making the original table, only to be told that this was meaningless, with some additional accusations.  I am no longer interested.

And just for information, the police can manage to come to my car and ask how I am anytime he asks, but cannot apparently do anything to preserve what would have been a hefty investment into the film. Why should I bother?

 

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It’s better when you don’t notice

I used to have a friend who spent his entire life going over every negative exchange he had, whether this was at the shops, or serious bullying, or stalking in some cases.  He had been through a lot, and had quite aggravated PTSD.

Things that he mentioned eventually included events that had happened when I was there, and some of the bullying had been directed at me.  I hadn’t noticed.  He told me several times anyway. I used to tell him not to notice.

“But it happened? Aren’t you angry?” he would say.

Well, if I had to deal with it, I would deal with it, but I find it much better not to notice.  It is usually much better and happier not to notice.  There are a lot of stupid people in the world.  You just ignore them and do what you are doing.

This is the difference between a victim and a leader.  A leader just blasts on regardless, and a victim sits and frets about it.

I can think of nothing sadder than a bully who stalks his own girlfriend, and a girlfriend that immediately joins in when he harasses other women.  These people are sick. He has groomed her to this extent, I expect he will be getting her to procure more victims for him eventually.

I again spent yesterday afternoon enquiring as to whether there is anything I can do about this other than make police complaints, as this is of no interest at all and seems like rather a waste of time the police could be spending on more important things.

Since my film was nothing to do with them and they weren’t involved, they could have just let me get on with the job.  Instead I am now expected to be stopped completing a project yet again because I don’t matter.

I have been through a lot, and the bottom line is always that I don’t matter.  Hence it is much easier not to notice nasty people. I recommend it.

 

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Another mystery solved

So last night I discovered that an online stalker had been using my name to torment some ghastly woman I met once.  I suspect it is probably bawbag, since he has a record of having previously done this to other people.

I was, needless to say, not amused, particularly as he was dumb enough to email and indicate that he wants his current girlfriend to attack me.

Why, you ask?  Well he appears to suffer from a similar personality disorder to a couple of relatives of mine.  It is pointless to diagnose, since nobody seems to have a relevant treatment for it, but in any case, he is bamboozled by anyone saying no to him, despite at the same time knowing perfectly well that he is an inadequate and horrible person. He said so himself.

Apart from that, I am apparently not permitted to either grieve for my dead loved ones, purchase a cup of tea or make a film to help everyone, including him.  This would upset his sense of grandiosity.

Why he is still not in jail is a mystery.  The number of people angry with this guy is growing steadily.  The aforementioned girlfriend seems to be quite happy with this situation, to the point of joining in.

I cannot imagine waking up every morning determined to damage other people, or how you would not figure out that this was not a happy way to live your life, so I cannot help these people with their problems.

Far better to leave them to it.

In the meantime, an aspiring boyfriend from before I met bawbag is turning up at the door daily, and thinks that criticising me is the way to my heart.  I have no interest in this person and am wondering whether to deal with this less politely.

This is the problem with toxic family.  You are left with a kind of permanent wound that means people want to flout your boundaries all the time, with apparently no time limit. Why they don’t find themselves something more worthwhile to do I do not know. Presumably they have nothing in their heads but yet more bile.

Anyway I have other things to do, so at least that mystery is solved and I can carry on with my work, which is of considerably more interest and importance.

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Confessing

 

So, recently I have dated a few people and one of those people was a very nice 28 year old.

Unfortunately he was unable to keep up with me, so I had to say no thank you.

I haven’t exactly been a power house for the last year or so, so this was nothing to do with activity. It was to do with outlook.

I have no interest in sitting quietly worrying about what other people think, and he does.  I have no interest in sitting waiting for a date whenever it suits him, he thinks that is normal. He made various comments which made me understand immediately that it would never work because I am creative and he is not.

He is still calling me a couple of months later, because he would like this to work out and I was a bit cross when I finished it. If I was his age I would probably be calling him a stalker.

Thankfully he is in a different city, and I have most recently dated a surgeon from the emirates, who surprisingly I got on really well with. I have tried a variety of countries across the Middle East, and so far UAE is actually coming across rather better than the rest, Libya obviously being the worst.  My ex from Dubai remarked that bawbag sounded like a donkey.

It is a shame the inventor/apple geek was a conservative, because otherwise we would have got on. As it was he was just a rude and rather old man.

Anyway I seem to have settled on orthodox Jewish as not working, moderate Muslim works much better.  Still no Hindu takers, but my experience of Hindus is that they are very right wing so this is likely to not work either (sorry Little Shiva) The one Pakistani Christian that I dated was actually the worst of the lot, total hypocrite.

So that is how things are going.  Busy at the moment otherwise.

Ina

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Hello gang

Gosh the gang’s all been in today. Hello all.

As you can see yet another disaster, but there is nothing I could have done to change it.

There are another two or three areas I could go and make the film in, or I could just wait for the insane person to go to prison.  Thanks to the tireless efforts of his arch enemies, he will be away for some time.  I’m not really interested in doing anything right now.  I am not at all interested in conflict with a mentally ill criminal.  He was screaming drivel for months in the street and my response was to purchase a set of headphones and carry on buying my tea.  I am just fortunate that I wasn’t inclined to romantic involvement, as his track record is far more sinister if you do. Just the same old insults, malicious gossip, which is pretty standard for narcissistic personality disorder and kind of boring when you’ve experienced quite as much of it as I have.

Glad to see Matt Hancock going into retirement. He should have been gone a long time ago.

I’m going to complete some work, Little Shiva the artwork still has some complicated problems that I need to resolve, but I’ll have plenty of time to do it now. My lungs needed the rest, and so did the cats.

I suppose it would be nice to get some stuff finished. It’s hard to care terribly much when nothing changes.

 

 

 

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Dear Little Shiva

Hello,

If you’re really still pining to this extent, you could always relocate.

This is comedy gold.

I am sorry I was grief stricken and very unwell so not much artwork got done, the resin is not a healthy lifestyle.

I will hop to it, now I am no longer bothering with actual people.

LOL

Ina

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Joy is Power project is moving to a new area

So, last night when it was safe due to the wonders of electronic prisoner management, I told the good people of the area I was filming in that the film was no longer going to be made there.

I will no longer be going there, as I decided the bottom line was that an insane person couldn’t stop harassing me, and I really wasn’t interested in being harassed. Apparently my grieving is me being creepy and my buying a cup of tea constitutes doing something to his family.  He actually abandoned his family, so what he could be referring to I do not know. He now has his skank joining in, and what she thinks her family is is a mystery.  Why I am supposed to care I do not know, since they have announced they were never friends of mine.

I could fight my way through it, but as it would inevitably involve several calls to the police, the support of the local business owners, which they were very shy about offering, and taking some unfortunate friend over there every time I was filming, since that would mean the film would take five years instead of five months to make, there really doesn’t seem much incentive to do so.

So progress so far is that I have a bunch of great props, cameras for the job, the costume is finished and I am dropping weight fairly rapidly due to a different kind of stress.  Some stress makes you cortisol fat, which means you can tolerate numpties but not physically, and some stress makes you drop fat rapidly, and I seem to have selected that.

The problem with insanity seems to be that it is contagious, and the reason it is contagious is because people are exceptionally stupid and agree to join in.

Anyway that is a lot of wasted time, money and care, and I am fed up being on the recieving end of bullshit, so no film this year.  I am becoming less and less interested.

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The Bitter End of Bawbag

And so we say farewell to Bawbag, who with any luck we won’t be seeing again.

His moll will be taking care of his business, an excellent example of nice girls finish last as his wife will now be left holding the baby and little else.

Having discussed this scenario with a number of people, I am apparently the only woman who said no to him, everyone else thought it was perfectly OK to bang some Lybian chick’s husband as she would be unlikely to find out.

People are repulsive.  So much for standards.  Skanks are in fashion.

I did meet someone worth marrying last week, however our politics are not compatible and he apparently doesn’t know how to keep his big mouth shut.  I lasted a week.

Sadly I am neither mercurial nor sensible, as this relationship might otherwise have actually worked.

Not really in the mood for meeting more people at the moment, so carrying out some work in private.

Am thinking about doing a collection of Bawbags as I may find a coffee shop worth decorating some day.

I’m starting to doubt it.

 

 

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